


Undertale (Changing the Game: Prologue)

by Spoods



Category: Spider-Man (Movies - Raimi), Ultimate Spider-Man (Cartoon 2012), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: (sorry Raimi Spidey ily too), Crossover, Gen, Grand Adventure, OH also this is an AU where Harry knows Peter's Spider-Man, Spoilers - Undertale Pacifist Route, also fair warning, and is cool with it, because keeping secrets from ur best friend is so 2002, get ready and buckle in lads, hoo boy babey let's see how this goes, hopefully y'all will enjoy it anyway lmao, peter and harry aren't killing anyone homeboys, spidey crossovers are my lifeblood and i'm not ashamed, start of a big gigantic epic crossover, the canon dreemurr backstory i mean, the start of possibly the biggest project i've ever done, this is literally just the first story of an eight-part arc, this story deviates slightly from canon backstory, yES it's the pacifist route what else would it be
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-01-25 22:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 61
Words: 242,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21363709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoods/pseuds/Spoods
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a mountain. There were also two very curious teenage boys. One thing led to another, and, well...this is a tale not often told.
Comments: 192
Kudos: 94





	1. Once Upon a Time

**Author's Note:**

> The first part of a multi-story crossover epic :)

Long ago, there were two races that ruled over the earth: humans, and monsters. They got along as a people united, sharing all they had with one another and working together toward a better, brighter future. They worked side by side in the fields and cities, the sweat falling steadily from their brows; they dined at one another’s tables, and exchanged the fruits of their labor; their children learned together in the schools, every one taught just the same; they married and formed families, living not only in peace but in love. Humans and monsters were seen as nearly one and the same. Their lives were serene and calm, and together in brotherhood they enjoyed a long age of prosperity.

Until the terrible day that everything changed.

One day, war broke out between the two races. Nobody could quite recall what sparked it. An angry word? A thoughtless gesture? Or perhaps unease and dissension among the humans had been brewing quietly underneath the surface for years, unknown to all but those whose hearts were already bittered and twisted by fear and jealousy.

It likely didn’t matter, anyway. Regardless of what began it, the humans were quick to take up arms against the monsters when their leader gave the word. It was friend against friend, neighbor against neighbor, husband against wife. Families were torn apart at the very seams by the frothing, bloody dispute that quickly overtook the land like a blight out of the old holy books. Bodies of the dead and the gravely injured littered the streets where once humans and monsters strolled together hand-in-hand. Heartrending cries of agony pervaded the air for what seemed like months on end, and indeed, the fighting lasted so long that those involved began to fear that it would never cease.

However, after a long, arduous battle, the humans emerged victorious. Having no kindness or mercy in their hearts for the monsters they once loved as brethren, seven of their most powerful mages sealed the monsters underground, beneath the towering monolith of Mt. Ebott. Tired, defeated, and consumed with sorrow, the monsters had no choice but to carve out a new life - meager thought it may be - underneath the earth. They rebuilt from the tattered ruins of existence the humans had left them, bravely marching forward but refusing to forget the pain they’d suffered at the hands of those who had once been their closest allies. Someday… somehow… they _ would _see justice done. And they would see the Surface again.

Legends say that those who climb Mt. Ebott never return. They simply vanish off the face of the earth, as if the very mountain itself swallows them up into its great, dark depths. These legends, however, have mostly been lost to time; the years and years have worn them away and reduced them to dust, almost completely erasing them from the minds of the modern-day humans who now populate the city several miles from the mountain’s base. 

Perhaps that is why, on a windy October day, two human boys climbed Mt. Ebott. With no whispers of the ancient rumors in their ears, they cheerfully hiked up the winding trail, thinking only of reaching the top and looking down on their miniature city below. It was a fun outing, one they didn’t have time for very often; after all, what better way to spend a Saturday than to immerse oneself in nature? Sometimes the city’s thick, smoky atmosphere became too much for even natives such as themselves. 

When they stumbled upon the hole which led to the Underground, they had no idea what to make of it. Why on earth would there be such a large opening in the middle of a _ mountain? _Was it organic? Man-made? The boys couldn’t recall ever seeing construction teams go out this way; they couldn’t recall seeing anyone go out to the mountain, if they were being honest. It wasn’t a place most people liked to talk about, for whatever reason. Most simply ignored it. But the boys had always been curious about the giant that loomed above the skyscrapers, hence their eagerness to explore it on this particular day.

As they bent down at the lip of the crater to study it further, a sudden, vicious gust of wind kicked up around them. They only had time to cry out and throw their arms to the sides to try and steady themselves before the wind, combined with their unbalanced momentum, thrust them into the yawning mouth of Mt. Ebott. They fell down a long, long way, longer than either of them could fathom, and landed with a bone-shaking _ thump _atop a small bed of golden flowers. The impact jarred the breath from their lungs and sent stars spinning in front of their eyes - at least, until a tide of blackness completely overtook them. 

Down there on the bed of flowers, neither boy knew just what series of events were about to occur, or, more importantly, what type of journey they were about to embark on. Of course, they couldn’t know yet; they were unconscious, after all. But they would know soon enough, and they would later find themselves thinking what a marvel it was that it was all started by a simple gust of wind. A gust of wind, and their own insatiable curiosities. 


	2. Flowers with Thorns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry, discovering that they've fallen down inside the mountain, try not to lose hope as they look for a way out. Only a few steps into their journey they discover a seemingly helpful flower who turns out to be far more prickly than they expected. Luckily, a motherly goat woman comes in to save the day. It's okay, the boys have seen weirder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad to have finally gotten into the actual plot of this thing!! My boys are given their voices at last :3
> 
> I wrote this story waaaay back, like three or four years ago, so revisiting it and getting to reshape the chapters exactly how I want them is a really fun and rewarding experience. I've always wanted to go back through the stories of Changing the Game (the overarching series that this belongs to) and perfect them as much as possible, so like, posting it is finally giving me a concrete reason to lmao. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing (and rewriting) it!
> 
> (Also, I know it's probably kinda strange to have Harry know about Peter's powers and be like "eh whatever", but,,,,listen. When you've loved these characters for as long as I have, you start wanting them to stop being Dumb Babies and teLL EACH OTHER THEIR ISSUES before any crazy misunderstandings happen (@ every Spider-Man movie and TV show that I still love with my whole heart). Basically, that's a long-winded way of saying Peter and Harry are best friends and don't keep secrets and everybody's cool. No teen angst here!!! [Insert cool glasses emoji]) 
> 
> Okay I'm done sorry thanks for reading

Harry was the first of the two to wake up. 

"Ooh...I...ow!" he grunted, sitting up and rubbing his head. He winced as he felt a small bruise the size of a pretty decently large raisin under the mass of auburn hair on his scalp. For a moment he sat there, still a bit dazed, as he tried to remember just what’d happened to get him to this point. There’d been...a mountain...and a hole...and that _ massive _gust of wind… He and Peter had just toppled right over, hadn’t they? 

The thought of his friend sent a sudden sharp streak of panic racing up his spine, and he quickly turned to his right with wide, scared eyes. 

"P-Pete...Peter?!” he asked frantically as his gaze alighted on the boy next to him. He wasn’t moving. Why wasn’t he moving?? His chest was going up and down, so he wasn’t dead, so _ why wasn’t he moving? _“Are you okay? Where are we? Peter! Wake up, c’mon, don’t- don’t make me carry you, man!" Harry’s own chest started moving more rapidly, and even as he tried to joke, it just didn’t come out right. Oh, God, what if he was seriously hurt? Spider-Man could survive a lot of things, but a fall into a literal mountain...?

_Well, I survived it, didn’t I? _ he tried to reason. _ And I don’t even have superhuman powers or whatever! So if I’m okay, Peter must be, too! Right? Right??_

He was about to go all-in and just shake the bejeezus out of his friend until Peter groaned, sat up, shook yellow flower petals out of his hair, and looked around. "Ugh...I'm alright,” he mumbled woozily, reaching up to rub his head as Harry had done a minute ago. “My back hurts pretty bad, though. And my head… Geez, the pounding’s worse than the time Rhino smacked me into the side of the Chrysler Building.” Harry let out a low whistle of empathy. (Empathy whistles were a thing, right?) That had been a pretty bad headache, from what Peter had told him through clearly-concussed text messages, so if this hurt worse, it was a miracle he wasn’t still out cold. 

Grunting and groaning a little more, Peter rubbed his eyes and finally took a look around the place he and Harry had landed after their fall. Dark granite walls, so dark they were almost purple, surrounded them on all sides. At the very least, they’d fallen onto a softer material than the rest of the floor, which was mostly just hard, damp rock and silt. Thank goodness for random patches of flowers growing right below open chasms. Craning his head up, Peter squinted at the sunlight filtering in through the hole they’d tripped into and came to an obvious, yet still distressing, conclusion.

“Ah, nuts,” Peter sighed. “Well, Har, looks like we fell into the mountain.”

"How do you fall INTO a mountain?!" Harry asked in exasperation. “I thought mountains were, like, solid for the most part. I didn’t think this hole went down that deep.” Well, there were caves in mountains sometimes, but those were usually sideways, weren’t they? Harry wasn’t a geography expert. Or geology. Whatever. 

"I wish I knew," Peter said. "I guess that nasty gust of wind was enough to push us over the edge, and, well...clearly this is a lot deeper than we expected." He looked up at the far-off ceiling, pursing his lips. "There's no way we can get back up there, even with my spider powers. It’s too high to even see where I’d anchor it.” Scaling the walls would have been a possibility, had the sides not been so jagged and grainy and all-around misshapen. Oh, well. “We'll have to go forward and find another way out." 

"Another way? But what if there isn't?" Harry fretted. “I-I mean, yeah, there was an opening up _ there, _but who’s to say the rest of this mountain is hollow? What if it’s just this area right here and we’re stuck down here forever!?” He began to hyperventilate at the thought of being trapped down there for the rest of his (probably now-shortened) life. “Nobody knows we’re down here...I-I didn’t even tell my dad! He just thinks we’re at Dave & Busters! No one’d think to look for us here!” They’d starve to death within a few weeks! Even Peter’s aunt assumed they were just taking a walk around the city; the woods and what lay beyond were seen as dangerous in the city’s eyes, so if they’d told the truth they probably wouldn’t have gotten out to Mt. Ebott in the first place. A harmless white lie was going to cost them their lives. 

Harry’s panic mode was reaching dangerous levels, and he took Peter by the shoulders and shook him lightly. “WE’RE NEVER GONNA GET OUT OF HERE!” Peter, ever the paragon of calm in seemingly hopeless situations, stood up and helped his friend stand as well, pulling him to his feet as gently as he could.

"Harry! Listen!!” he urged. “You gotta chill! We’re _ not _gonna die down here, okay? I promise. There's gotta be a way. I feel a cross breeze; that means that if there’s an opening up there, there has to be another one somewhere else to continue the air flow.” He looked around once more, peering into the semi-darkness of the cavern, and at last spotted a deviation in color from the standard blackish/purple on the far back wall -- meaning, another cave. Instantly his eyes lit up with glee. 

“Come on; look, there's an opening in the wall over there! Let's check it out." Peter started off toward it, and Harry followed after a moment's hesitation. 

“R-Really? You’re sure?”

Peter reached the opening and waved his arm around just inside it, glancing back at Harry with a smile. “Yup. Pretty sure I don’t have intangibility as one of my powers.” 

That got a small chuckle out of Harry, and the tightness around his heart lessened just a bit. If Peter was still able to be his goofy self, maybe the situation wasn’t as hopeless as he’d thought. Then again, Peter was somehow able to be a wise-ass in almost _ every _situation, so maybe this was just par for the course. Either way, it made him feel a tiny bit better.

They cautiously walked through the opening, just wide enough to allow them to walk comfortably side by side, and felt their way forward. It wasn’t pitch dark, exactly, but there still wasn’t enough light to walk confidently. Who knew what was down that way?

The hole emerged, to the boys' relief, onto a much larger space, suggesting an entire network of tunnels. Tunnels were good; tunnels usually meant a cave system, and that meant a number of ways to get in and out. All they’d have to do was find one of those other entrances. Er, exits, in this case. 

It was very dark in the next room, too, save for one beam of light shining down on a patch of green grass. Peter was puzzled, as he could see no opening where the light could be coming from. No hole in the ceiling, so what…? 

But the odd presence of seemingly impossible light was quickly pushed from Peter’s mind when something else, equally as what-the-hell caught his eye. On the grass was a single, small golden sunflower; nothing out of the ordinary, right? They’d just fallen onto a whole flowerbed of them a few minutes ago. 

It was unusual, however, in that this sunflower had a face. 

"What...the hell is that?" Harry asked, dumbfounded. The sunflower answered his question by itself. 

"Howdy! I'm Flowey! Flowey the Flower!" it said in a cheerful voice. Peter and Harry stared at it, their faces twin masks of sheer disbelief. 

"You can...you can talk?" Peter asked in amazement. He’d seen a _ lot _of crazy stuff in his (currently not very long) lifetime, but this really took the cake. Nevertheless, he shook the astonishment out of his head and smiled unsurely at the creature that defied all nature and logic. Harry still seemed a bit shocked, but he managed to crack an unsteady smile as well as Peter said, “Uhh, it’s...nice to meet you, Flowey! Sorry for the weird reception, we just...we’re just...ah, not used to seeing flowers like you.” He rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously, still having a bit of trouble accepting the current situation.

The flower just giggled, seemingly unbothered by their awkwardness. “Why'd you make me introduce myself?” it asked in that high-pitched, nasally voice. “It's rude to act like you don't know who I am." The boys cocked their heads, confused. They glanced at one another and blinked before turning back to the ever-smiling plant.

"Pardon?" was all Peter could think to say. Really, what else _ could _he say? Flowey simply continued, without explanation, "Someone ought to teach you proper manners. I guess little old me will have to do.” He suddenly disappeared into the ground, reappearing about a foot closer. Peter and Harry jumped back out of surprise, but again, Flowey didn’t seem offended.

“Ready?” he asked cheerfully. “You’re gonna love this. Here we go!" Peter and Harry glanced at each other again, just thoroughly confounded by the turn of events. Meeting a talking flower with a voice two tones off from Mickey Mouse wasn’t anywhere close to what they’d expected when they began searching for a way out of Mt. Ebott. 

Peter tuned back in just in time to catch Flowey saying,"So, you know how you have souls? Those are the very culminations of your beings. Your souls start off weak, but can grow stronger if you get what's called 'LV'.” 

“What?” Harry asked. “I don’t think…” He paused, trying his hardest to gather his thoughts. “I mean, what does ‘LV’ stand for? What does that mean?” he tried again. “Are you talking about a physical substance, or…?”

Flowey giggled again. “‘What's that stand for?’” he repeated, as if it were an absurd question. “Why, 'LOVE', of course! You want some LOVE, don't you?"

"Uhhh," Harry and Peter said, as it was the only thing they could think of.

Flowey grinned up at them with his little cheerful face. "Don't worry, I'll share some with you!" He winked, and some small, white, circular _ things _floated off of him and hovered in the air. 

"Down here, LOVE is shared through little white 'friendliness pellets!'" he gushed. “Pretty neat, huh?” 

Harry pondered briefly if he might be dreaming. From the look on Peter’s face, it was obvious he was wondering the same thing. Maybe they’d both hit their heads way harder than they thought, and they were in some kind of coma or something. It’d make slightly more sense than actually encountering a magical talking golden flower. Kinda. 

"Are you ready? Now, move around! Try and get as many as you can!" Flowey exclaimed. With that, the pellets came flying toward them at almost eye-level.

Something didn’t feel right to Peter and Harry as the ‘friendliness pellets’ rocketed straight at their very vulnerable faces. Their natural human instincts of ‘survive’ and ‘do not get hit with small pointy projectiles’ kicked in just a few moments before the things made contact, and they effectively ducked the seed-like objects, which dropped harmlessly to the floor behind them. 

Flowey raised an eyebrow. "Hey, kids. You were supposed to catch them,” he said, and this was the first time the two saw him with anything other than a bright, bubbly smile. Now he looked more annoyed than anything. It wasn’t a good look for him. “Let's try again, okay?" He sent out more, but once again they dodged out of the way, a bit more urgently this time. For whatever reason, both boys were getting a weird squirmy feeling in the pits of their stomachs. The kind of feeling that said, “Hey, maybe you _ shouldn’t _trust a strange flower creature you just met that’s offering you things called ‘friendliness pellets. That’s kind of weird.”

“Hey, uhh, on second thought, I think we’re good,” Peter spoke up, forcing a nervous laugh up and out of his chest. Harry nodded vigorously, eyes wide and slightly panicky again. He couldn’t muster up enough will to actually say anything. What if he pissed it off?

It seemed the damage was already done, though; now, Flowey was angry. "Is this a joke? Are you brain dead?” he hissed, and the squeaky voice gained a hard edge. “RUN. INTO. THE. BULLE-” He paused. “...friendliness pellets!" he corrected himself, a happy-go-lucky smile appearing back on his face like magic.

_Alright, yeah, this guy’s nutso._

“I think we’re gonna get going,” Peter said quickly, taking Harry by the arm and guiding him forward, making sure to give a wide berth to the possibly-manic flower in the center. “It’s been great talking to you, but my buddy and I really gotta-”

In the blink of an eye, Flowey disappeared and reappeared again, this time directly in front of the hastily escaping Peter and Harry. Another round of pellets was fired off, and once more they moved out of the way, now sweating and actually shaking slightly.

“Dude! Not cool!” Peter said nervously. “We said we have to go, so we gotta go!” A faint buzzing in the back of his head, which started when the pellets had first appeared, grew louder and more insistent. Harry whimpered and nodded again, this time managing a, “P-Please, we just wanna...go home. Okay?”

Flowey's smiling visage suddenly turned into a wide, dark, evil grin. "You know what's going on here, don't you?" he asked, his cadence slow and deliberate. Harry and Peter trembled and stepped back as their imminent sense of danger increased tenfold. "You just wanted to see me suffer," the flower growled.

“W-Why would we want that?” Harry mumbled desperately, knitting his eyebrows. “We don’t even know you!” 

His words seemed to give Flowey pause. Harry wasn’t sure if it was actually what he’d said, or if the flower was just a tempermental, unpredictable guy (though he was leaning toward both being right), but Flowey was silent for a good ten seconds, which was almost MORE disconcerting than his kinda creepy voice. The three stared at one another, maintaining incredibly uncomfortable eye contact, Peter and Harry wondering what in the actual hell was happening and why it had to be happening to them. 

Then, thousands - or at least, what seemed like thousands - of the 'friendliness pellets' suddenly surrounded the boys, inducing shrieks of the loudest variety. The impenetrably tight circle slowly advanced as they hovered in the air, and Peter had a feeling that when those things hit, they were going to hurt.

“OH MY GOD WE’RE GONNA DIE!” Harry wailed, clinging to Peter and nearly toppling the both of them in the process. Peter thankfully managed to stay balanced, having to support both himself and his terrified best friend while also thinking of something, _ anything _that could possibly stop this weird, dangerous, enigmatic plant magic. An experimental web blast proved his powers would be useless when the wall of pellets shredded it like spaghetti.

“Well, it was worth a shot,” he mumbled.

Flowey didn’t comment on the escape attempt; he simply smiled that disturbing smile, and to Peter it looked like the flower had never taken more pleasure in anything in his life. Then, with one single, uttered word, that fact was confirmed.

"DIE." 

He laughed maniacally as the pellets continued closing in. Peter and Harry, unable to think of anything else to do in the short time they had before the things hit, pressed as close together as possible and hoped that maybe they wouldn’t be 100% eviscerated. 

Miraculously, before the pellets made contact with their bodies, a small burst of white fire came hurtling out of the darkness from seemingly nowhere. It collided with Flowey, knocking the terrifying creature away with an indignant, utterly surprised yelp. The pellets dropped to the floor as soon as he was gone, and Peter and Harry just about collapsed to the floor with relief. They did collapse, actually, but it was much less painful than getting stabbed with a thousand tiny thorns probably would be.

“Oh my God,” Harry whimpered, “oh my God. Oh my God, we’re alive. Pete, we’re alive!!”

“I can see that, Harry,” Peter chuckled, examining himself to double check the assertion. “Wait...yeah, we’re alive.”

“H-How? How did that happen?” Harry asked, whipping his head around to scan the area. “Who did that? _ What _did that?”

Peter was about to reply when he noticed something moving toward them from further in the room. Instead of words coming out, his mouth simply dropped open, and all he could do was point ahead. Harry followed his finger and promptly gaped alongside him. 

Stepping out of the darkness was what appeared to be a furry, goat-like creature wearing some kind of purple apron or robe. On the chest of the robe was a white insignia; it appeared to be two winged circles, and below the circles were three small triangles. She, unlike Flowey, had a real, genuine smile on her face, and she came over to the two human boys with her hands out non-threateningly. 

"What a terrible creature, torturing such poor, innocent youths,” she said distastefully, looking off in the direction that Flowey had hurtled. When she looked back to Peter and Harry, her smile was back instantly back in place. “Ah, do not be afraid, my children," she said. "I am Toriel, keeper of the Ruins. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen down. You are the first humans to come here in a long time.”

“Wh...huh?” Peter murmured. He was still just...so transfixed by the presence of this motherly woman, this person who had come out of nowhere and single-handedly saved their lives. She didn’t seem at all surprised to find them there, and the mention of other humans was incredibly curious. Was this...was this a thing? Did humans fall down here regularly? Was Mt. Ebott something more than just a mere mountain? So far, the two distinctly non-human creatures he and Harry had met pointed to the answer being ‘yes’.

He was still having a bit of trouble processing current events, but certainly not wanting to be rude to the lady who’d just saved them, Peter said, “Uhh, I mean, th-thank you. Thank you, Toriel, seriously. I don’t know where you came from, but I’m pretty sure that nasty weed would’ve skewered us if you hadn’t come along.” He chuckled a little, and it was a genuine sound of relief and levity. Unlike with Flowey, nothing about Toriel seemed forced. Every facial expression, every gesture, every word was weighted with pure intent, and Peter’s lack of tingling urged him to trust this woman. Had his spider sense been wrong before? Sure. But 95% accuracy wasn’t half bad.

Toriel positively beamed. “Of course, my child! I could not just leave you to be so horribly injured.That would be just unforgivable.” She extended her hands down to them now, offering one for each boy to take. “Come! I will guide you through the catacombs. There is a place of safety I can take you to." The boys glanced at one another for only a second; that was all the time they needed to confirm that they’d both put their trust in Toriel. At least for now. Now sporting matching smiles of their own, Peter and Harry grasped her hands in theirs and allowed themselves to be pulled to their feet. Once they were standing, Toriel situated herself between the two of them and began to lead on through a previously unseen opening at the back of the chamber.

“I am so glad I found you,” she told them as the three walked side-by-side. “It really has been a very long time since I had company. I hope you will not mind spending time with me.”

Peter and Harry met eyes across the way and grinned before looking back up at Toriel.

“Toriel, after meeting Flowey, I don’t think there’s anyone we’d wanna spend time with more.”

The goat woman giggled delightedly and nodded her head, her long ears flopping about. “Oh, yes, I can see why,” she said cheerfully. “I can certainly see why.”

And on they went, deeper into the Ruins: Peter, Harry, and their new goat guide.


	3. Into the Ruins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toriel guides Peter and Harry through the first part of the Ruins, and the boys learn how to deal with any hostile monsters they may encounter in a peaceful way. Also, Peter gets a new phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe I'm managing to keep up with this Friday upload schedule lmao. I hope I can continue this streak!

Toriel led the boys through the darkened passageway and another opening in the cave walls, where they soon came upon a small, glowing yellow object; it looked almost like a star. What...what _ was _that? Peter almost had the urge to touch it, having absolutely no idea why, but he began reaching his hand slowly out nonetheless. His fingertips were just about to graze the thing when Toriel called, “Come along, little one! We must keep moving.” Peter shook his head, blinking as if snapping out of a trance, and smiled sheepishly up at her. 

“Oh! Heh, sorry. Got a little...sidetracked.” 

He shook his head and continued keeping pace with Toriel and Harry, only glancing over his shoulder once to take one more look at the strange, enigmatic object. Harry didn’t seem to have noticed it; he was far more focused on staring around in wonder at the strange new environment Toriel was leading them through. Was that star thing a normal part of...what had she called it? ‘The Ruins’? 

Weird.

She took them through yet another cave opening, and then stopped and turned to face them. Her features were as kindly as ever, and her rosy eyes shone with acute delight. "Welcome to your new home, innocent ones. Allow me to educate you in the operation of the Ruins," she said. 

On the ground near her feet were several small, raised stones, and she stepped on them. Suddenly, as if by magic, an opening appeared on the far wall. Peter’s mouth hung open once again, and he could tell by Harry’s astonished noise that he was probably doing the same. Toriel smiled, as if pleased by their awed reactions. 

"The Ruins are full of puzzles,” she explained, gesturing toward the now-depressed stones on the floor. “They are ancient fusions between diversions and door keys. One must solve them to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them." 

Peter bent down to inspect the stones, tracing his fingers over them and around the edges lightly. "Puzzles, huh?” he murmured. “That’s so cool. It’s like something out of a spy movie.” He’d seen similar riggings during his time with SHIELD - Nick Fury was rather fond of booby traps and weird, inconvenient ways to open doors - but this seemed like it was actually ingrained into the world around them. Neat!

"It's interesting," Harry agreed, but there was a troubled frown on his face. "But...what if we can't solve some of them? We'd be stuck forever!" He looked nervously up at Toriel for some kind of reassurance. The goat woman patted his head.

“Do not worry, my child,” she cooed. “I will always be there to help you if you get stuck. There is no puzzle here that I do not know backwards and forwards.” 

Peter laughed and patted Harry on the shoulder. "Yeah, we'll be fine, Harry! Don’t worry, I'm good at puzzles." Their assurances seemed to be enough, as Harry relaxed visibly. “Okay,” he said, dipping his head. “I guess that’s good.” 

Toriel smiled down at him before proceeding through the newly-opened hole in the wall.. As they passed through, Peter caught sight of a small brass plaque, mounted on the wall next to it: "Only the fearless may proceed. Brave ones, foolish ones. Both walk not the middle road." _ Huh. _Now what could that be foretelling? It seemed pretty ominous to Peter. He decided to make a note of it and filed it away for possible future use. Maybe he’d tell Harry about it when they got to wherever they were going.

In the next room, Toriel paused to explain a little bit more. "To make progress here, you will need to trigger several switches,” she told them, letting go of Harry’s hand briefly to point toward the wall. “Do not worry, I have labelled the ones that you need to flip." 

They followed her across a small bridge, and on the wall was a yellow switch. Sure enough, a bunch of little arrows were drawn pointing to it, and a note next to it read, "Please flip this switch- Toriel". Peter couldn’t keep a smile off his face as he walked over and flipped it. Something about Toriel going out of her way to label exactly what they needed to do was just adorable. Harry hesitated only a moment before going over and flipping another, similarly-marked switch, and immediately some spikes that were in their way disappeared. 

“Hah! Got it!” Peter said proudly. “That wasn’t so hard. Look, Har, it’s easy!” Harry smiled despite his remaining reservations. 

“Guess so,” he chuckled. “If most of the puzzles are like this, maybe it won’t be so bad.” 

"Splendid!" Toriel said, clasping her hands. "I am so proud of you, little ones. I knew you could do it.” She took their hands in hers again, and it felt as comfortable as slipping into a familiar pair of mittens. “Let us move on to the next room. I have more to show you." 

“Sounds good to me!”

In the next part of the Ruins, the three of them came upon a medium-sized dummy made of stitched-together patches of cloth. It had two little black beads as eyes, beads that reflected the dim lighting coming from the torches on the walls.

"As humans living in the Underground," Toriel began, "some monsters may attack you." 

“Wait, what?” Harry asked nervously, squeezing the woman’s hand tighter reflexively. “W-What do you mean? Why would they do that?” He thought about the way that creepy-ass flower thing had gone from cheerful to genocidal in the blink of an eye and grimaced. He and Peter still had no idea why that had happened. Was every creature that lived down here a ticking time bomb? 

No...most likely not. _ Toriel isn’t like that, _ Harry chided himself. _ Maybe it’s just some of them. Humans can be like that, too. _

Toriel smiled sadly. "It is a bit too...complicated, I think, to explain everything to you at this time.” She bit her lip before releasing it a moment later. “...But I promise that, one day, I will tell you all that I can. For right now, you must be aware that some monsters do not take very kindly to human beings. You will need to be prepared for this situation.” Her face brightened. “However, worry not! The process is simple; look, I will teach you.”

Again she let go of their hands. She approached the dummy in the middle of the room and continued to speak, gesturing as she did so.

“When you encounter a monster, do not panic. Stay calm, and do not fight; fighting will only lead to tragedy. Instead. strike up a friendly conversation! Stall for time. I will come to resolve the conflict, and everything will be okay.” She patted the mannequin lightly on the head. “Here, practice talking to the dummy." 

Harry gave her a slightly skeptical look. "You want us to TALK to the things trying to kill us?" he asked. “How do we know that’ll even work? What if they attack before we get any words out?” Harry wasn’t one for violence, but the memory of Flowey was fresh in his mind, and it seemed like talking hadn’t done a lick of good in _ that _situation. 

Peter didn’t seem nearly as worried. He walked over to the dummy amiably, hands in his pockets and an easy smile on his face. "Hey, great! I prefer talking it out to fighting, anyway.” He laughed to himself. 

_My job would be a lot easier and more pleasant if I could handle all the supervillains that way. Maybe when we get back, I’ll try out this new method. Worth a shot, right?_

Although he couldn’t really see Doc Ock responding very well to a “Hey, how’s your family been, my dude?”

“This oughta be easy,” he said confidently. “C'mon, Harry." Doubtfully, Harry walked over as well, and together they faced off with the dummy. For a while, neither of them said anything. It seemed a bit awkward to try conversing with an inanimate object, now that they thought about it. It couldn’t talk back, so...what to say? Still, Toriel was watching patiently, and they didn’t want to disappoint her; might as well give it a try.

"Uh, hey," Peter started. "I, uh...I like your face. That's a nice face you have there." He giggled a little nervously. God, if he said that to literally any monster they met, he was pretty sure they’d look at him like he was an absolute dumbass. And then knock his head off. Literally. Was that really the best he could do? 

_I guess I’m only good at witty insults, _he thought ruefully.

As Peter predicted, the dummy didn't do anything; it just stood there, waiting. 

"That was very good!” said Toriel, clapping her hands a few times. “Just like that. Go on, now you try," she encouraged Harry. Harry didn't think it would work any better, but nonetheless, he said, "Uh...yeah. What he said. Your cloth is...nice." Again, the dummy just stared at them. Not doing anything. Not saying anything. Just...staring. 

At that moment, Toriel came in and pushed the dummy aside. As soon as she stepped back and placed her hands on her hips, the dummy turned and hopped away, back through the door that Toriel and the boys had come in through. Peter and Harry blinked multiple times, hard. So, it had been alive. That was definitely a living creature that they’d just spoken too. Yup.

“I guess they weren’t much of a talker,” Peter said after a few more awkward seconds of confused silence. “Guess not,” Harry muttered in agreement. Toriel didn’t seem to pick up on their bewilderment, returning to their sides and taking their hands yet again.

"Oh, very good, my children!" she said, pleased. "That is exactly what I want you to do if you meet a monster, and I am not around to intercede right away.” She led them along to the next chamber, adding, “But, of course, I will always be somewhere close by, so you will not have to worry for long." Toriel’s calm reassurance and confidence did much to ease Peter and Harry’s nerves. At least, if they actually got into a dangerous situation, the motherly goat woman wouldn’t be far behind. It wasn’t like Peter was afraid he wouldn’t be able to defend himself and his friend, but…well, okay, maybe he was a tiny bit. Flowey’s power had apparently rivaled his own, which unnerved him some. But aside from that, he knew he was capable, and he knew he could handle most situations. It just helped to have that additional support from someone who knew this place, that was all. It comforted him to know that she’d have their backs.

“There is another puzzle in this room," Toriel said, pulling Peter out of his thoughts. "I wonder if you can solve it?" She shot them a sly smile, then continued on her merry way, Peter and Harry in tow. The boys glanced at one another, and each raised an eyebrow. Was she going to test them? If so, they were ready. They’d prove to her that they’d been paying attention, and could totally survive on their own in this strange new world. Totally. Hopefully.

On the way across the room, a small, frog-like creature suddenly hopped out at them and sat itself in their path. Its tiny face was squinched up in distaste as it stared up at the humans.

"Ack!" Harry gasped. "W-What is that thing?" It looked like a regular frog from the Surface, but it was _ way _bigger, and it had strange little markings on the front of its body. He took a step back and bumped into Peter, who was gazing in curiosity at the little frog-like monster.

"That is a Froggit," Toriel explained, idly pulling one of her ears forward so it draped over her shoulder. “They are one of the species of monsters who live here in the Underground.” That made sense. 

“Why’s it look so pissed?” Harry whimpered. The Froggit narrowed its eyes at him and let out a little _ rrroak. _He yelped and jumped even further back, only poking his head out from behind Peter’s left shoulder. “Geez!”

“I think it is unsure of what to make of you,” Toriel said sympathetically. “Many monsters are a bit...wary of humans, as I said before. Go on, do what I taught you! Talk to it! This is a perfect time for practice."

Peter and Harry looked down at the Froggit, the monster still glaring up at them with its beady eyes. Peter didn’t think it looked that intimidating, but as they’d previously discovered, appearances could be deceiving. Harry gulped and looked back over his shoulder. 

“A-Are you sure? What if it’s dangerous?” he asked Toriel. 

“Do not worry! I am right here,” she comforted. “If anything happens, I will step in. But I believe that you can do it.”

Bolstered by the presence of Toriel behind them, Peter smiled determinedly and put one hand on his hip. It was time to show their guide that they could handle themselves. 

“Alrighty,” he said. “Let’s do this.” Crouching down so that he could get on eye level with the Froggit, he said, “Hey, little buddy! You're pretty neat. I've never seen anything like you before." The Froggit tilted its head. It took a half-step closer, the expression on its face a little less harsh than before. Peter took that as a good sign. “My friend and I here wanna apologize if we startled you. I know you’re probably not used to seeing people like us down here, but I assure you that we’ve got no ill intentions toward you.” 

Harry nodded vigorously, stepping out from behind Peter to utter quickly, “Y-Yeah! We don’t want any trouble, heh. So please don’t hurt us, okay?” 

The Froggit glanced from Peter, to Harry, then back to Peter. Its features were softening again, and now it seemed more wary than outright angry. 

_So close!_

“Boy, if we had you guys where we come from,” Peter continued with a smile, “I’m sure everyone would die over how cute you are.” It probably didn't understand a word Peter had said, but somehow - maybe from the cadence of his voice? - the monster appeared to at least realize that he had said something kind, and its pale skin darkened in a blush. Peter grinned. “Hey, there ya go, bud! We’re not scary, see? We’re not gonna hurt you.” The Froggit let out a small croak, and this one sounded far less hostile than the first one. Its face almost seemed to even curve up in a tiny smile, all traces of anger gone for good.

At that moment, Toriel walked over and shooed it gently away, and the Froggit croaked once more before hopping off on its way. Peter stood back up and dusted his jeans off, feeling immensely pleased with himself. “What a cutie,” he said. “I’m glad it came around!”

"Well...I guess that's easier than fighting them," Harry admitted, finally releasing the tension from his shoulders and finding his regular breathing pattern again. "And it seemed to actually like what you said, Pete. It didn't even attack us once." That had been a relief. 

"Yeah!" Peter agreed. "Looks like Toriel’s onto something with the whole ‘peace and love’ thing.” He grinned at the goat woman, and she giggled into her hand. 

“I am glad you think so! I have always found it far more reasonable to talk down a situation than enflame it.” Peter nodded sagely.

“I can’t argue with you there.”

Toriel took up their hands again and gestured with her head for them to keep moving. “Come along, now. We are getting close to halfway there.” While they walked, Peter wondered what the safe place Toriel was bringing them looked like. Was it an actual structure? Like, a house? Or would it simply be someplace protected by a kind of charm? Either way, he was itching to get there. 

They soon came upon a large expanse of floor covered with spikes, and the sight of it nearly tore another frightened yelp from Harry. To his credit, he was able to swallow it before it escaped. He settled instead to stare at it warily, as if it were something alive that might rear up and try to attack them._ To be fair, _ he thought, _ in this place, I can’t be sure what’s alive and what isn’t. _

Toriel stood before the puzzle for a few moments, sucking her lower lip in and chewing on it thoughtfully. She had dropped their hands when they approached the spikes, and now she was fiddling with them in an anxious manner. She seemed to want to say something, but apparently decided against it at the last minute, shaking her head instead. 

"This is the puzzle, but...here, take my hand again for a moment," she said. 

“Oh! Okay!” Peter gave Harry a bit of a puzzled look, and Harry shrugged.

She took their hands and led them into the field of spikes. This time Harry did scream, and even Peter seemed surprised that she’d chosen this avenue of puzzle-solving.

“What are you doing!?” Harry shrieked. “We’re gonna get skewered!” Harry squeezed his eyes shut, certain that Toriel had lost it…

But, to the boys’ acute astonishment, that wasn’t what happened. In reality, as impossible as it seemed, the path that Toriel took them was such that as they walked forward, the spikes in their way disappeared sunk deep into the ground.

When Harry cracked one eye open after _ not _getting pierced through the foot with a dozen sharp, metal points, he was consumed at once with both relief and bewilderment. “Wha…? How did we-?” 

“I think there’s a set path that’s safe to take, if you know what it is,” Peter supplied, making sure to copy Toriel’s movements exactly, lest he get himself spiked. “And Toriel clearly knows the way!” 

Toriel looked over her shoulder briefly with an apologetic look.

“Yes, that is correct. I apologize, I should have told you that first. I did not mean to scare you!” Once they’d exited the patch of spikes safely, she ruffled Harry’s hair in further apology. Harry laughed a little and scuffed his foot on the floor.

“It’s fine,” he said, rubbing his neck. “Just give me a heads-up next time, okay?” 

Toriel smiled. “I will, I promise.” She looked back at the veritable minefield she’d led them through and let out a quiet sigh through her nose. “Puzzles seem a little too dangerous for now," she murmured, more to herself than to Peter and Harry. 

_I guess she’s not ready to let us try by ourselves yet, _thought Peter, touched once again by the protectiveness of their goat guide. He did hope that she’d step back a little and let them stretch their legs a bit, so to speak, though. He wanted her to trust them to be able to take care of themselves, too. 

It seemed that Peter’s wish was about to come true; as they went on through another door, Toriel stopped and turned to them. She was smiling, but her eyes seemed slightly troubled. "You have done excellently thus far, my children,” she told them, patting them both on the head. They gave her matching smiles back, and Peter replied, “Thanks! We’re doing our best, heh. We’d be pretty lost without you, though.” 

Toriel gave another high, tinkling laugh, and she put a hand to her face self-consciously.

“I am glad to be of help to you, my child. I would not want you to have to go through this on your own. I will always be here to protect you.” Her face suddenly darkened and fell, not a shadow left of the smile it once had sported. “However, I have a...difficult request to ask of you."

Peter and Harry tilted their heads, curious to see what the daunting task would be. If Toriel seemed worried about it, it was probably something they’d have to take on very carefully. 

Toriel seemed to struggle with her next words. "I would like you to walk to the end of the room by yourselves. F-Forgive me for this." With that, tears beading in her eyes, she turned and hurried across the room as fast as she could go. The chamber was pretty long, so they eventually lost sight of her, but they could still hear her muffled footsteps retreating. 

Peter and Harry looked at each other, relief palpable on their faces. Peter nearly laughed out loud. The motherly goat woman had become so protective of them that simply leaving them on their own for even a moment hurt her. If Peter could reverse-adopt her as his mom, he would do it in a heartbeat. Having a mother like Toriel and an aunt like Aunt May? He’d be the happiest boy alive.

_I wonder what she’d think of leaving with us, when we go home, _ he mused. _ I’ll have to ask her about that. _

The boys easily walked across the room, reaching the end of it in under five minutes. When they didn’t see Toriel waiting for them, they were a bit confused. 

“Wasn’t Toriel gonna wait for us here?” Harry asked, looking around. All he could see were tall stone pillars and dark purple walls stretching on through the darkness of the next cave opening. 

“She’s gotta be around,” Peter assured him. “Toriel?”

On cue, the goat woman stepped out from behind the last pillar and rushed over to the humans eagerly. "Greetings, my children!” she exclaimed, wrapping them both up in her robed arms. “Don't worry, I did not leave you! I was merely behind this pillar the whole time.” 

“There you are,” Peter laughed. “We figured you were around here somewhere. Did we walk through the room okay?” He grinned teasingly. Toriel giggled again and nodded.

“Oh, yes. Thank you for trusting me. You see, there was an important reason for this exercise: to test your independence." 

“Independence, huh?” Peter said. So, she was getting ready to trust them on their own after all! He hoped that he and Harry would prove as capable as he thought they were once they were actually set loose in the Ruins alone. 

"I must attend to some business," she continued, "and you must stay alone for awhile. Please remain here. It's dangerous to explore by yourselves."

Peter pouted unconsciously. Stay _ there? _That was what she wanted them to do? But that wasn’t any fun! He knew that they’d be fine exploring by themselves for at least a little while; she wouldn’t have to worry much. He considered asking her to reconsider, but she was already reaching into her pocket excitedly. 

“Oh, I have an idea! I will give you a cell phone. If you have a need for anything, just call. Okay?" She withdrew her hand and passed a small, rectangular flip phone to Peter. The thing was so archaic it probably didn’t even have Snake on it, the boy thought as he studied it, but he also found it pretty charming that she cared so much as to give them something to keep in contact with her. Despite his disappointment at being told to sit and wait, Peter smiled genuinely.

"Thanks, Toriel," he said. "If we need you, we’ll call. We really appreciate this, you know. All of it."

Harry nodded in agreement, leaning over to check out the phone she’d given Peter. “Yeah, thanks. I don’t know what we’d do without you.” He laughed a little, hoping the noise wouldn’t betray his apprehension at being left alone for a while. 

It wasn’t like he didn’t think he and Peter couldn’t handle themselves, after the guidance Toriel had given them, but...it was still kind of scary knowing any number of unknown creatures could come across them while she was away. He felt safe with this woman, and he wasn’t ashamed to want to be near her for most of the time they were in this place. He was pretty sure Peter felt mostly the same way, although his friend was definitely more of the adventurous type; maybe he saw being left alone as a way to test their capability. 

"I will return soon, do not worry. It is really only for a little while.” She clasped her hands and looked at them both intently. “Be good, alright?"

“We will. Promise.”

Pleased with their response, Toriel softly smiled, hugged them both, then disappeared through the next door and into the unknown. Peter and Harry watched her go until they couldn’t see her anymore. For the first time since she’d found them, they were on their own.


	4. Just A Little Disobedience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite Toriel's wishes for the boys to stay put, Peter immediately decides that heading off to explore on their own is a good idea. Harry tries to dissuade him (to no avail). Additionally, the mysterious 'stars' are encountered once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Black Friday, y'all! Hope you found some good deals!
> 
> As we move very slowly further into the story, I can hardly contain my excitement for what's to come!! I hope you're all enjoying taking the journey with me :)

As soon as Toriel had gone, fully disappearing from sight, Peter took a look at the phone in his hand and hummed softly, shifting his weight from foot to foot. The longer he gazed at it, the more the little spinning cogs in his mind turned and turned. Beside him, Harry chewed lightly on his nails, apparently in some deep thought of his own. 

Toriel had told them to stay put. That was obvious. ‘Please remain here,’ she’d said. ‘It’s dangerous to explore by yourselves.’ Those were her exact words, right? They left no room for loose interpretation or a loophole. _ Stay here, it’s dangerous. _Simple and straightforward. Only a very dense person or a very smart-alecky person wouldn’t take the words at face value and accept the terms thereof. 

"Do you think we should stay here?" Peter asked, looking up from the phone to Harry. 

Harry looked rather startled. "Well, yeah! She told us to, didn't she?” he said. “Whatever's ahead might be dangerous! Toriel seems to think we won’t be able to handle it.” The boy reflexively brushed back his hair, arm jittery with nerves. “I-I think we should listen to her. She knows this place better than we do, after all. She lives here!” Whatever Peter was thinking, Harry was _ so _not on board. He loved his friend dearly, but that didn’t mean that his harebrained ideas sometimes weren’t just that: harebrained. 

Peter considered Harry’s concerns with pursed lips. He had a point. But then again... 

"Yeah...but, I mean, I wanna explore!” he insisted, beginning to pace in a small circle. “Come on, Har, you can’t tell me you’re not curious to see more of this place.”

“Toriel’ll show us more when she gets back!” exclaimed Harry. “I trust her to guide us more than I trust the two of us to stumble around without getting hurt! Or killed!” He could just picture it: one wrong step, one false move, and they were skewered by wall spikes, or trapped in a fifty-foot pit, or...or...or monster chow! Harry didn’t know if any of the monsters actually ate people, but could anyone really blame him for worrying? The Underground was proving to be a rather unpredictable place.

Peter, for his part, didn’t appear to share his friend’s worries.

“Pssh, we’re totally capable!” he said, smiling and linking his arm with Harry’s. “I think Toriel might be a _ bit _ overprotective, pal. And while I do appreciate her concern for our wellbeing, she doesn’t know the extent of our experience with weird, unsafe situations.” He puffed out his chest a little in an exaggerated pigeon imitation. “Maybe if we were _ ordinary _ teenage boys we’d be unequipped to deal with the various dangers of the Ruins, but we are no ordinary teenage boys. _ We _are Spider-Man and Harry Osborn. And that means we’re far and away more qualified to snoop around a strange cave world than most.” Harry didn’t have anything to worry about, really; didn’t he realize by now that they were masters of maneuvering the unknown?

“You’re the only one of us with powers,” Harry pointed out desperately. “Maybe you’re capable, but I’m just a...a spoiled rich kid.” He snorted. “My only asset is money, and I doubt that’s gonna help us much down here.” Harry imagined paying off a monster to leave them alone - just handing over all the money in his wallet and the monster counting it out and nodding sagely - and almost laughed aloud. Now _ that _was a silly image.

“Hey! Don’t sell yourself so short!” Peter said, lightly backhanding him in the chest. “You’re not spoiled, buddy, come on. And besides, money is absolutely NOT your only asset! You’re a smart dude, you can hold your own!”

“I got a C- in Chemistry.”

“Yeah? And? Chemistry’s not important right now,” said Peter with a nonchalant wave of his hand. “Aren’t you the one who built that watch thing for Venom? That’s a lot of hi-tech stuff right there, you know! Not everyone can make tinker toys like that.”

Harry opened his mouth to object before slowly letting it close in defeat. Peter had a point there; the whole Venom debacle hadn’t been something he’d enjoyed, and it certainly wasn’t something he was proud of, but he _ did _have to admit that building the watch that doubled as a container for the alien creature was pretty sick. Peter was probably the only other person he knew who could attempt something like that.

_Not to brag, of course. _

Harry chuckled a bit and shrugged. 

“I mean- yeah, I guess. But how’s that gonna help down here?”

Peter grinned. “Like I said, Har, you’re smart. We both are! If anything came up, we’d be able to think our way out of it. And that’s why we two are more than ready to start exploring the Ruins on our own, without Toriel.” Peter raised an eyebrow, as if daring Harry to question his flawless logic.

Of course, Harry could probably find a dozen flaws with it, if he had enough time, but Peter was already beginning to pull him toward the place where Toriel had gone through just a few minutes earlier. At that moment, he figured he had two options: he could either dig his heels in and complain, and insist to Peter that they stay right where the goat woman had told them to stay…

_Or, _ he thought with a sigh, _ I can go along with it and hope he’s right, and that everything will work out fine._

Doing the quick mental math, Harry figured that about eight times out of ten, Peter’s wild ideas and adventurous nature yielded a positive outcome. The other two times, they got them both in heaps and heaps of trouble. 

_I guess eight out of ten isn’t too bad._

Still, as he begrudgingly let his friend tug him toward absolute uncertainty, he couldn’t help but exhale a little huff. "Does he ever listen to me? No, of course not," he muttered. Then, raising his voice to above a mumble, he said, “If Toriel’s pissed at us when we meet up with her, I’m telling her it was all your idea.”

“She won’t be mad,” Peter assured him cheerfully. “I bet she’ll be proud! And happy to see us! We can go surprise her, wherever she is. It’ll be our way of showing her that she can trust us on our own, at least for short periods of time.” As they walked on, Peter idly wondered how long it would take for them to locate another exit from the mountain. Hopefully not too long; he didn’t want to intrude on Toriel’s life for more than was necessary. She’d been so kind to help them out, but they couldn’t rely on her forever. That wouldn’t be fair. 

In the next chamber by the entryway, another small, yellow star-like thing twinkled and pulsed like an oversized firefly. It immediately caught Peter’s eye, as it had the first time he’d seen one. It was so...pretty. And glowy. And pretty. Very pretty. 

_Huh. Maybe Vulture’s right. Maybe I AM kind of like an easily distracted toddler, _ Peter mused, heading straight for the pretty shiny doodad. In his defense, he’d never seen anything quite like this before, so it was totally natural to want to check it out. He was a student of science, after all; studying natural phenomena and making new discoveries was what science was all about. Yeah! He wasn’t a toddler, he was just _ scientifically curious. _

_Nice save, Pete._

When he reached the peculiar little object, he hesitated only a fraction of a second before leaning down to touch it. Immediately, a strange feeling spread through his body, racing up along his spine and making the hair on the back of his neck stand straight up. He gasped slightly. 

Harry, who’d unlinked himself from Peter when the other boy had started gravitating toward the star, spun around from where he’d been studying a notch in the wall as soon as he heard Peter. That gasp had sounded so visceral, like something had genuinely shocked him. Harry didn’t hear those gasps very often. _ Oh, God, what now? _

"Pete? Are you okay?” he asked breathlessly, racing over with eyes as wide as saucers. He couldn’t imagine what could have happened in the literal two minutes they’d been apart, but then again, Peter had a knack for getting himself kidnapped, or beaten up, or what-have-you in very small amounts of time. It was kind of impressive, to be honest. Or at least it would be if it wasn’t, y’know, incredibly stressful for everyone who cared about him.

Peter was slightly hunched over, one hand bracing himself against the rocky cavern wall. His breath was normal, but he looked like he’d seen a ghost. He began to straighten up as his color returned. Peter turned to Harry and made to reply; before he could, thought, a deep, booming voice that came from seemingly nowhere declared, "Your adventure has been saved. The sight of the orange leaves fills you with determination." 

For a short time after, there was silence as Peter and Harry tried to comprehend what they’d just heard. 

"Uh...what...was that?" Harry asked. 

Peter shook his head slowly. "I...I don't know. 'Adventure saved'? What does that mean? Who was that?" It wasn’t very often that loud, intense voices from the ceiling (or the floor - he really couldn’t tell) spoke up. There was usually a person attached to voices like that, and yet they could see no one. Was it touching that star thing that had triggered it? If so, why? Just what _ were _they?

Harry furrowed his brow. “I wish I had an answer for any one of those questions," he said. “It seemed like…” He glanced down at the star, twinkling innocently by Peter’s feet. “It seeed like the voice spoke when you touched that thing. Do you think it’d happen again if you touched it again?” 

“I...I don’t know. Let’s try it.” Peter bent down and started reaching his finger out, but Harry quickly grabbed his arm and tugged him back.

“Don’t touch it again!! Are you crazy?”

Peter blinked. “But you just told me to!”

“I didn’t tell you to, I was just wondering aloud if it’d produce the same results! Geez, I’m not trying to encourage you to touch the thing that gave you such a shock _ again. _I was just making a hypothesis.”

Peter smirked. “‘Hypothesis,’ huh? Who’s the smart kid now?” he teased. Harry laughed despite himself.

“Look, just - let’s leave it alone, okay? We saw what happened once, I don’t think we need to see it again.” He nudged a small pebble aside with his toe idly. “I wonder if there are more of them around this place, though.”

“There are,” Peter replied, recalling the one he’d seen when Toriel had first led them into the maze of corridors. “I saw one a few rooms back. I didn’t have time to look at it closer, though.” 

“Huh.” Harry blew a short breath in thought. “Wish we knew what they were for. Or, supposed to be.” Perhaps that mystery would be solved in time. They could always ask Toriel about it, too.

At that moment the phone rang, breaking their thoughtful concentration.

"Oh! That must be Toriel," Peter said. He answered the call and held the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hello! It is Toriel. You haven't left the other room, right?" 

Peter stiffened. Oh. Right. They were supposed to be waiting for her, not wandering around on their own recklessly. He laughed uneasily, hoping it didn’t make him sound guilty. 

"O-Oh, no, of course not! We're, uh, we're right where you left us! No need to worry!" he babbled, aware that this would probably seem more suspicious. _ Dammit, Pete, you were never good at lying. _Toriel, however, didn't seem to make anything of it. 

"Oh, good,” she said pleasantly. “Because there are some puzzles up ahead that I haven't explained yet, and it would be much too dangerous for you to try and solve them by yourselves."

"Y-You got it, Toriel!" Peter said, smiling nervously. Thank God this was an old-ass cell phone with no FaceTime feature. “We’ll, uh, we’ll be here when you get back.”

“Wonderful! I must return to my errands now, so I am going to hang up. Be good, alright?" 

"Sure thing!" 

Toriel hung up, and Peter closed the flip phone and slipped it in his pocket. His palms were sweating profusely after having to lie to the maternal Toriel, so he wiped them off on his pants as best he could. He really was terrible at lying. It was a miracle she hadn’t questioned him any further. Lying had felt terrible, but what else could he have done? He still believed that he and Harry would be fine on their own for a while; he wanted to show her that more than anything. Surely proving it would help ease her worries in the future, right?

Harry raised an eyebrow. "What'd she say?" he asked. He likely already knew, but Peter could tell he wanted him to say it. Probably gonna use it as a teaching moment. 

"She asked if we left the room. I told her no," Peter said sheepishly. Harry shook his head in clear disappointment.

"See? I told you we shouldn't have left!” he exclaimed, putting his hands on his hips. “Now she'll probably be mad at us. We should go back and wait for her."

Peter bit his lip, but rather than concede, he decided to double down on his convictions. They could _ do _this, he knew they could! Maybe Harry was right, but they’d come too far now to back down. They’d just have to keep pushing forward and deal with the consequences (hopefully of which there would be little). He really hoped Toriel wouldn’t be upset with them. The worst ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed’ looks came from the nicest parental figures; he could attest to that. 

“No, we gotta keep going,” he said decidedly, spinning on his heel and heading toward the next chamber. “We’re gonna find her and surprise her and it’ll be all in good fun. Trust me!”

Harry began to say something, but Peter’s rapidly retreating figure made it end up a sigh instead. It was too late. When Peter made up his mind, there really was no changing it. So, with a disgruntled pout and heavy steps, Harry followed Peter onward. If Toriel really did get mad when they met back up with her, he was going to make sure she knew _ exactly _who to blame for all the shenanigans. 


	5. Cinnamon or Butterscotch?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry continue to traverse the Ruins by themselves, occasionally running into monsters and puzzles along the way. Also, Toriel asks a very important question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just barely made the deadline, but I still got it >:3
> 
> Sorry this one's a little shorter than the others! Some of the chapters vary in length because of how I formatted the story when I first wrote it ^^" Hopefully it's enough for everyone until next week!!

As the boys continued deeper into the Ruins, they came upon another Froggit, sitting by itself near the entrance to another area. They froze out of habit, but the Froggit didn't seem interested in attacking them. On the contrary; it seemed keen to talk to them. This Froggit, the boys would soon find out, could speak English. 

"Excuse me, humans," it said in a throaty croak. "I have some advice for you about battling monsters. If you act a certain way or fight until you almost defeat them, they might not want to battle you anymore.” It paused to study them for a moment, tilting its head slightly, before continuing, “If a monster does not want to fight you, please use some mercy." 

Peter had to take a couple of seconds before scrounging up a response. “You, uh...you can talk,” he said, rather obviously. The Froggit blinked three times.

“Yes,” it said. “I can talk. So can you.” It croaked again, and it sounded almost like a snort.

Peter felt himself pinken with embarrassment. So, some monsters could talk, others couldn’t, and it didn’t necessarily depend on species. Got it. 

He shook himself a little and replied, "Oh, uh, yeah, sorry. We met a Froggit a few minutes ago who couldn’t- uh, nevermind.” Peter coughed. “Anyway, yeah, what you said makes sense. Of course we’ll show mercy. We don't wanna hurt anybody." Beside him, Harry nodded affirmingly, though he still looked slightly dazed. 

The Froggit nodded to them, seemingly satisfied. 

“Thank you. I hope you will remember this, humans.”

Then it hopped away, disappearing down a side corridor. Peter and Harry watched it go. 

“Well...alright,” said Harry after an awkward pause. “I guess most of the monsters down here can talk." He would have thought that every Froggit would have shared the capability of speech, but apparently there was some other factor that determined if they could verbally communicate or not. They were learning new things about this place all the time.

“Yeah," Peter replied. "At least, I hope so. That’d probably be a good thing." Communication would make peaceful resolutions to any confrontations a lot easier. He made another mental note to ask Toriel if there was any concrete way to tell which monsters could talk and which couldn’t later on. Although, even with the Froggit that _ couldn’t _talk, it wasn’t like there had been no solution; they’d just had to be patient, and get creative. That wouldn’t be so hard. “C’mon,” he said, “we’d better keep going. No time to stop and ponder the linguistic abilities of other species.”

Traversing further into the chamber, Peter and Harry soon came upon a suspicious-looking expanse of floor. Harry immediately froze in place while Peter bent down to get a better look.

"This looks like it'll break if we step on it," he said, and reached out to tap on it lightly. Sure enough, as soon as his finger made contact, the section he’d touched crumbled away into nothingness, leaving a small and dark hole in its place. Harry gulped. 

“Looks like you’re right. What do we do now?” He glanced around the area, but the crumbly floor stretched from wall to wall; there was no safe path around it. At least, not one Harry could see. The boy’s breathing started to quicken, and he could feel the start of a hiccup fit rising in his chest. _ Dammit. _He always hiccupped when he was nervous, and it usually took forever to make it go away. Curse his easily excitable diaphragm. 

Peter noticed his friend’s verging panic and patted him on the arm reassuringly.

"Hey, hey, relax, buddy! I'll just swing us across."

He hooked Harry’s arm with his own and fired a web line at the ceiling, then easily swung them both over the dodgy patch of floor. They landed on stable ground, much to Harry’s clear relief.

"See? Easy!" Peter declared, brushing his hands together. "I told you we could handle this stuff."

"I guess you're right...but we still don't know what's ahead," Harry pointed out. “That was just a section of floor. An inanimate object! And it was easy to tell it was a trap. I bet the farther we go, the more complex and dangerous the puzzles’ll be.” That was how it usually worked in action movies, anyway. Like Indiana Jones. 

"Ah, it can't be much harder than that," said Peter flippantly. Well, that was easy for _ him _to say; he’d never even seen Indiana Jones.

Just then, the phone rang again. Peter jumped, quickly shoving his hand into his pocket to grab the tiny, archaic phone. 

"Hello?"

"Hello! This is Toriel," Toriel said. "For no reason in particular, which do you prefer? Cinnamon, or butterscotch?" 

Peter blinked at the odd question. 

“Huh?”

That seemed to come out of nowhere. What was the goat woman planning?? He could tell she would wait patiently until he gave her a solid answer, though, so he mulled it over briefly before deciding.

"Uh...I like cinnamon!" It was particularly good in hot chocolate. _ Mm, hot chocolate. _Peter wondered if she might be making some of that sweet, sweet nectar of the gods as a surprise; if she was, he was pretty sure she would officially be the greatest woman he’d ever met (after Aunt May, of course). 

"Okay, thank you very much!" Toriel said happily. He expected her to say more, but the dial tone he was now hearing indicated that she’d hung up. Peter paused, then shrugged and turned back toward his friend. He noticed Harry was looking at him quizzically. 

"Cinnamon? What about cinnamon?" Harry asked. 

"I'm not really sure,” Peter admitted. “She just asked me whether I preferred butterscotch or cinnamon.” He smiled excitedly. “I have a hunch she might be making some kinda treat.”

“And you said cinnamon? But I like butterscotch," Harry whined. Peter laughed. 

"Sorry, pal. I'm the one with the phone." He waved the little cell phone around triumphantly before stowing it away in his back pocket again. Harry rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out playfully, but didn’t press the issue further.

“Whatever.” He waved his arm in the general direction ahead of them. “Shouldn’t we be focusing on actually getting to her instead of fantasizing about desserts?”

“You may have a point, Harry.”

Spotting a rock and a switch in the middle of the room, Peter bounded over and circled around the rock a couple of times. Just by the placement of the two objects, the solution to the puzzle was incredibly obvious.

“Another puzzle, eh? Easy. Look, all we've gotta do is push this there, and...wa-la!" 

Peter gave the rock a good shove with the sole of his foot, sending it a few inches forward. It pressed down on the switch, deactivating some spikes that blocked the way in front of them.

"Easy as pie," Peter said, walking on past the sunken spikes. “Who says puzzles have to be hard?”

"Hey! Wait for me!" Harry called, running after him. Even walking at a normal pace, Peter somehow proved to be far faster than him. Perks of being a genetically enhanced spider-person, he guessed.

The boys went through several more rooms in a relatively short time span, all of which contained more fairly simple puzzles. At one point, after completing another push-the-rock-on-the-switch puzzle, the two ran into a small, gelatinous-looking creature. It was shaped a little bit like a sea anemone, but it was jiggly and see-through. 

"Whoa, what is that thing?" Harry asked, wide-eyed. It didn’t have any eyes or mouth that he could see. Truthfully, it didn’t seem to have any facial features at all. 

“Not sure. It looks kinda like jello," Peter said. "Let's see if talking it out works with this little guy like it did with the Froggits.” He crouched down, making sure to be level with it, and said, "Hi! My name's Peter, and this is Harry. What's your name?" 

The creature didn't move. It just sat there, immobile. Occasionally it pulsated, but other than that, it wasn’t doing much of anything. Peter gazed at it for a few moments, wracking his brain. Then he had a rather interesting, if absurd, idea. Acting purely on a hunch, he got fully on the ground, curling into a fetal position, and lay still with the small creature. The monster immediately began to make what sounded like delighted squelching sounds. 

Harry stared at Peter as he got back to his feet. 

"What was _ that _ about?” he asked. 

Peter shrugged. "I dunno. It just...felt like the right thing to do.” He pointed to the monster, which was jiggling at a slightly faster pace, as if excited. “Look, it made it happy! Lemme try something else."

He moved his hips around in a slow circle, kind of like he was hula-hooping, and the creature paused a moment before trying to imitate the motion. It made even more happy squelching sounds, bobbed up and down three times, then crawled away in the opposite direction.

"Peter," Harry said after a few moments, shaking his head, "that was weird. Really, really weird.” He looked after the monster as it retreated, a dumbstruck half-smile coming over his face. “I don't know what made you do...whatever that was, but somehow, I think it worked." Peter grinned.

"I think Toriel and that Froggit were right. Trying to communicate with the monsters seems a lot better than fighting them. We just gotta get on their wavelength, y’know? Feel their vibe.” He made a wavy motion with one hand, causing his friend to laugh. 

"I think you're right. Just don’t expect me to stand on my head or contort into a ball or anything, ‘cause I’m not as flexible as you.” 

“Heh, fair enough.”

They continued on, eventually reaching a hallway with another small star, and a few feet away was a table with some cheese on it. There was also a small hole in the wall, just to the right of the table. 

"What's this cheese doing here?" Harry wondered, inspecting it. It was just...sitting there, out in the open, innocuously. No one was around that they could see who might have put it there, but it didn’t seem moldy, so it had probably only been out for a little while.

"Maybe it's for the mouse?" Peter suggested, nodding toward the hole. “I mean, if mice even live Underground.” 

He looked from the mouse hole to the star, and a little voice at the back of his head seemed to be drawing him toward it, urging him to touch it like he had the other one. For what reason, Peter wasn’t sure, but he felt like listening to the voice probably couldn’t hurt. Touching the other star had just made him feel weird for a second; it didn’t really _ hurt. _Besides, he was keen on figuring out the purpose behind them, and the only way to do that (besides asking Toriel) was to investigate them in any way he could. So, he touched it.

Sure enough, just like the first time, a shiver ran through him from head to toe. The effects didn’t seem nearly as overpowering this time, though, and he recovered pretty quickly. He shook his hand out a little as the booming voice from earlier said, "Your adventure has been saved. Knowing that the mouse may one day leave its hole and get the cheese fills you with determination." 

Harry jumped at the sound of the voice, throwing his arms up instinctively as if protecting himself from some invisible foe.

"I-It did it again!" he exclaimed. "These star things are weird, man. Maybe you shouldn’t be touching them." 

Peter nodded thoughtfully. "They are, but...I don’t know. I don’t think they’re hurting anything, Harry. In fact, I think they might be helpful, you know?” Harry raised an eyebrow incredulously. 

“Helpful? How?”

Peter pursed his lips. “I’m not quite sure. But the way it says ‘Your adventure has been saved’ sounds more like a good thing than a bad thing, right? You know, like, uh...like you save your progress in a video game. That’s what it reminds me of.” He stretched his back a bit and shrugged. “I can't put my finger on it, but I actually kinda feel safe with those things scattered everywhere. And as long as we’re here, we might as well check out everything there is to see, right?" 

Harry rubbed at the back of his neck. 

“I mean...I guess so,” he said resignedly. “I still think it’s freaking weird, but as long as you’re not getting any bad vibes from it, I guess it can’t really hurt.” Harry pointed a finger at him and wagged it. “But if you get some crazy side effects from touching strange, possibly radioactive objects under a centuries-old mountain, that’s on your head, buddy, not mine.”

Peter laughed loudly and headed off toward the next chamber. 

“Understood. I’m not too worried, though; I’m already radioactive. What harm could a little more do?” 

He giggled as Harry just snorted in response. The other boy went after Peter at a slightly slower pace, pausing briefly to stare at the star with curious, half-narrowed eyes. Even if they really were helpful, like Peter assumed, that still didn’t explain their origin, or why that disembodied voice spoke up every time they got touched, and that bothered him. Unexplained phenomena weren’t Harry’s favorite things in the world. But, if Peter wasn’t going to make a big deal out of them, then he would try to keep his suspicions in check. 

_Maybe Toriel can give us a straight answer, _ he thought. _ I hope we find her soon. I’m not sure how much ‘exploring’ I can take. _


	6. A Lonely Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys run across a depressed ghost called Napstablook, and manage to cheer them up with a pun from Peter's well-stocked arsenal. After a little more time journeying through the Ruins, they finally make it to Toriel's house, where it turns out there's a surprise waiting for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally getting to the good stuff!! Pretty soon we'll move beyond the Ruins and into the rest of the Underground ;u;
> 
> I hope the pacing is alright; if anyone has any suggestions or constructive criticism, or any comments in general, please don't hesitate to post them! I always love reading your thoughts <3

Upon entering the next room, Peter and Harry were faced with a very peculiar sight (even for the Underground): a ghost, lying on its back amongst a pile of bright orange leaves. Directly in their path.

"Uh...hello? Are you okay?" Peter asked, tilting his head curiously. It didn’t look like it was in any pain, but then again, Peter figured he wouldn’t really know what a ghost in pain would look like.

“Zzzzzzzz," replied the ghost, obviously trying and failing to pretend to be asleep. Peter blinked and looked to Harry for assistance. Harry just shrugged, no more equipped to deal with a fake-sleeping ghost than Peter himself was. 

A couple of loud, obnoxiously fake snoring noises issued forth from the ghost, followed by some awkward silence. When a little more time had passed, and Peter and Harry were still completely at a loss at what to do, the ghost murmured to itself, "Are they gone yet?" It then let out another "Zzzzzzzzz", maybe for good measure.

Peter figured they couldn’t just stand there silently forever, waiting for the ghost to give up the charade, so he spoke up again.

“Hello? Excuse me?" he tried again. “Uh, I don’t wanna disturb you from your nap, but my friend and I kinda need to...get by. So if you wouldn’t mind just rolling a  _ tiny  _ bit to the left?” He smiled hopefully.

The ghost on the ground mumbled something too low for them to hear. Its eyes were still closed, but one cracked open a tiny bit to see if the boys were still standing there. When it saw that they were, it quickly snapped shut again.

Seeing that the ghost wasn’t going to budge, Harry sighed and tried to gently move it over himself. Normally he wouldn’t even consider trying to make physical contact with a ghost, but he didn’t see much of a choice here. 

Unfortunately, Harry had forgotten that ghosts tended to be incorporeal; instead of picking it up, his hands passed right through it like it was thin air. 

“...Oh. Oops.”

This spurred the ghost to get up at last, abandoning the pretense of sleep, and it hovered in front of them with a gloomy look on its face. 

“Do you mind? I’m kind of trying to sleep here,” they said. 

Peter and Harry immediately felt bad. They’d gone and annoyed a perfectly harmless ghost, and now it was cross with them. 

"Hey, I'm sorry," Harry apologized. "We didn't mean to make you upset. We just wanna get by, and you weren’t really moving.” He gestured helplessly. “I didn’t really know what else to do.”

The ghost sighed, long and low.

“I was pretending to be asleep,” they said. “Because I don’t like...talking to people.”

That was fair, the boys supposed. There were times when all they wanted to do was be alone. Sometimes interacting with other people could be exhausting. But still, they  _ did  _ need to get around the ghost, so it wasn’t like the situation could really be avoided.

“I can understand that,” Peter chuckled. “But, uh, we really do gotta pass this way, so if you don’t mind, we’ll just be on our way.” He made to step forward, but the small ghost didn’t budge from its now-upright position in the path. 

“I don’t know,” the ghost sighed. “I don’t think I’m...supposed to let humans pass through. Monsters don’t really trust humans... There’s kind of a...weird thing. Down here. Yeah...” They stared at the two vacantly. 

Peter looked at Harry, and Harry looked at Peter, and they both slumped slightly. Toriel had warned them that some monsters would want to impede them or attack them, but so far, talking it out had worked. Maybe if they just tried talking a little harder…?

“Oh, uh...we get that,” Peter said quickly. “Totally. But, um, what if...what if we introduced ourselves? Then we wouldn’t be two random, strange humans. We could be friends!” 

The ghost was quiet.

“My name’s Peter,” Peter said, figuring he might as well be the one to break the ice. He nudged Harry. 

“Uh, I’m Harry,” Harry volunteered, waving awkwardly. “Sorry again for trying to move you. That was kinda rude.” He smiled sheepishly and brushed his hair back. If he’d been trying to nap and some random guy came along and tried to bodily move him, he’d be pretty pissed, too. 

The ghost persisted in silence for a beat longer, then said quietly, “...I’m...Napstablook. Yeah, it was kind of rude.” They sighed again. “It’s fine, though… I’m used to it.” They floated a little closer, peering up at the boys with a slightly different expression. This one looked more... _ sad _ than bored or annoyed. “Although...people usually just walk over me...so I guess you’re an improvement.”

“Really?” Peter asked, knitting his eyebrows. “I’m...sorry about that. That’s not very nice.”

“It’s alright...that’s just how life is...when you’re garbage,” Napstablook mumbled. Tears started to bead at the corner of their eyes, and before Peter or Harry could make a move to comfort the monster, the wetness flew from their body and hurtled straight toward the boys. 

_ What in the name of- _

One tear hit Peter square in the left shoulder. Unlike most tears, which would simply stain his clothing until he bothered to throw them in the wash,  _ this  _ tear felt like a small BB pellet from one of those airsoft guns. It even left a small rip in his shirt, although no blood trickled out; seemed it hadn’t broken skin. That was good. On the other hand,  _ why did the tears from this ghost hurt? _

“Ow!!” he exclaimed, swatting at his shoulder to try and ease the tingling. Harry looked over in surprise. 

“What? What happened?”

“The tears, they-”

Harry’s question was answered for him when another tear splattered on his shoe and stung his foot through the material of the sneaker. Ah. Now he understood.

“ _ Shit!”  _

“Yeah, I know!”

Napstablook continued to cry, and through their tears they managed to sniffle, “Sorry...I can’t help myself...sorry… See? This is why you should’ve left me alone…”

Another barrage of droplets fired off in every direction. This time, Peter and Harry were wise enough to leap out of the way.

"Is literally everything down here a weapon?!" Harry asked in exasperation. Pellets, tears...what was next?

Peter shook his head in an echo of his friend’s sentiment. As a few more tears splashed around them, and the two hopped around looking like they were doing some poor imitation of a jig, Peter chanced trying to reach out to the ghost again.

“Hey, come on, buddy! No need to cry anymore; we'll cheer you up, I promise!” He ducked as a particularly large, fat drop sailed over his head. Thinking quickly, he asked, “What if I tell you a joke?"

Napstablook paused in their deluge and looked intently at him, some smaller tears trailing down their face. 

“A...joke…?” they asked hesitantly.

"Sure! I’m great at jokes!” Peter exclaimed. “Here, I’ll show you.” He racked his brain for a good (and appropriate) joke, and managed to fish one out from the corners of his mind where all his incredible puns were stored. 

“Why didn't the baby shrimp share his toys?" he asked.

Napstablook sniffled. "W-Why?"

"Because it was a little shellfish!!”

Harry groaned, but Napstablook actually obtained the faintest smile. They laughed a bit, and it sounded a little rusty coming from their throat. It seemed likely that the ghost didn’t get the chance to laugh very often, judging from their disposition. 

Peter grinned big and wide, pleased that his comedic genius had saved the day again.

“Hey, that’s...pretty good,” Napstablook admitted. “I should...do something fun, too. Here, l-let me show you something.” 

“Sure, what is it?" Peter asked curiously. Napstablook began to cry again, and Peter and Harry instinctively yelped and crossed their arms in front of them. This time his, though, their tears floated upward, and they formed a translucent top hat on the ghost’s head. When no mini projectiles bombarded their faces or torsos or other body parts, the boys chanced a look and were pleasantly shocked to see that Napstablook had merely instituted a wardrobe change. That was a relief.

"I call it, 'Dapper Blook'," Napstablook said. "Do you like it?" Peter and Harry nodded, offering them their most sincere smiles. 

_ Dapper Blook.  _ The boys were nearly overcome with glee.

"Yeah, it looks great!" Harry said. “You definitely look very dapper, buddy.” 

Napstablook’s tiny smile spread a little wider. "Oh, gee..." 

They floated a little away from the two, effectively ending the confrontation - much to Peter and Harry’s relief. They slumped a bit with a great release of tension as Napstablook mused, “I usually come to the Ruins because there's nobody around, but today was the first time someone like you came along… It was nice of you to...talk to me, and tell me your joke. Most people just ignore me…” They suddenly coughed and looked sheepishly back to the boys. "Oh, I'm rambling again. I'll get out of your way." 

“It was nice meeting you, Napstablook,” said Peter kindly. “Maybe we’ll meet again some time?”

The faint smile turned up again at the corners.

“I would...like that.”

And with that, they disappeared. Peter and Harry walked through the spot where they’d been, their feet crunching the carpet of leaves. 

“You know, I think we really cheered them up,” Peter said to Harry as they continued on their way. “At least, as much as we could.”

“Yeah. Seems like they’re pretty sad most of the time. I hope they’ll start to feel happier in general a little more.”

They passed through yet another dark opening and into the next room, where a small wooden sign was planted in the earthy floor. Upon inspection, Peter found that it read, "Did you miss it? Spider Bake Sale, down and to the right! Come eat food made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders!" 

"Hey, Pete, sounds like your kind of place," Harry laughed, nudging his friend. Peter shook his head, a little confused.

"It would be, except...I have to admit, the 'of spiders' part scares me.” He shuddered at the resurgent memories of the imposing, cannibalistic Inheritors which had taken quite a liking to spider-people meat. 

“But I guess it wouldn't hurt to check it out anyway,” he said. “If they actually make their baked goods out of spiders, though, I think I might have to bounce.” 

“I’d say that’s fair.”

The two headed out, down, and to the right, where two sizable spiderwebs and another sign sat in an otherwise empty room. This sign read, "All proceeds go to real spiders."

"Huh, weird," Peter said. "There's no one here. Guess we missed it." He gave one of the webs a twang with his fingers.

"Too bad," Harry said. "We’ll never know if any innocent spiders are being made into donuts.” He laughed when Peter made a face.

“That’s fine by me,” Peter stated. “Let’s go back the other way." 

The two of them retraced their steps through the winding purple maze of passages until they came back to where they’d taken the detour. Now they continued straight on ahead, as they assumed this was the main path, and thus would eventually lead them to Toriel. They hoped.

For the rest of their journey through the Ruins, Peter and Harry fell into a comfortable silence. They’d tired themselves out a bit with all the negotiating and puzzle-solving and whatnot, so giving their voices a rest just seemed like a good idea. 

Along the way, they passed by some more Froggits, who were hopping around and talking to one another - perhaps having a community get-together. Peter spotted one of them with a picnic basket and thought about how much he really, really wanted some food right then. 

Walking along through the once-daunting pathways, both Peter and Harry found themselves feeling a little more at ease with their whole situation. Sure; as of now, they were stuck in an underground cave system with an uncertain exit. That was kind of shitty. But, on the other hand, they were doing pretty damn well for themselves! Toriel had worried that going it alone would be too dangerous, but they had proved their dexterity, and ultimately had a decent grasp on how things operated here below Mt. Ebott. As far as Peter was concerned, they’d passed the independence test.

When they’d walked for nearly fifteen minutes, they finally entered a much more spacious clearing; far wider than the other ones they’d just traversed. In the center there was a bare tree with an incredibly thick expanse of orange leaves around its base like a skirt. Behind that tree, just up some steps, sat a quaint little house.

"Oh my God,” Peter said, breaking into a grin. “This must be Toriel's house!"

“You think so?” Harry asked, looking a little unsure. “It could be anyone’s house, couldn’t it?”

Peter shook his head insistently. “No way. If anyone down here is gonna own a cozy little cabin like that, it’s Toriel.” He bounced on the balls of his feet and couldn’t resist clapping a couple of times, like a particularly excited four year old. “We did it, Harry!! We found it! I knew we could make it through this place on our own!” He grabbed Harry’s hand and started tugging him toward the steps without giving him a chance to object. “Time to go in and surprise her." 

Harry's attention, however, was now on another small star. He dug his heels in and pulled Peter back, causing the other boy to jostle. 

"Wait...there's one of those things again," he said nervously.

Peter looked over to see what had distressed his friend. The answer didn’t surprise him.

“Hey, yeah!” He got a deep, contemplative look on his face that was most definitely exaggerated at  _ least  _ a little bit. Harry didn’t like that look one bit. “Hmm...maybe you should touch it this time, Harry."

Harry paled immediately. 

"What?! Me? Why?”

"Yeah, you!” Peter exclaimed. “I touched the other two, so it’s your turn! It doesn't hurt; it just feels a little weird. Try it," he urged. “I wouldn’t ask you to do something if I thought it was anything bad.” 

Harry bit his lip, clearly more than hesitant to go putting his hand on glowing, enigmatic objects. Peter’s puppy-dog pout was what finally pushed him over the edge; he knew him well enough to realize that Peter could keep up that expression for an indefinite length of time. He was a Puppy Look master.

"Oh...fine." 

Resigned to his fate, he went over and touched the star (although there was a good five second pause for he could actually make himself do it). Just like Peter had said, a shiver ran down his spine, and the sensation sent goosebumps racing up and down his arms. The mysterious voice boomed, "Your adventure has been saved. Seeing such a cute, tidy house in the Ruins gives you determination." 

“Ah! Damn,” he muttered, furiously rubbing his arms. “I hated that. You don’t find that uncomfortable??” Peter chuckled sheepishly and shrugged.

“Uhh...I mean, kinda? It’s not that bad, though! Come on, it’s just like getting a shock, that’s all.” 

“Yeah, I hate shocks,” Harry retorted. “Next time,  _ you  _ touch the star. I think once was quite enough for me.” 

“Alright, alright, Harry. If we come across any more, I promise I won’t make you touch them.” Peter couldn’t really blame him for not being a fan; the feeling definitely took a few times to get used to. And it still wasn’t really something he’d describe as ‘pleasant’.

Harry huffed. “Let’s just go inside. I need to sit down.” He bent down and rubbed his right leg briefly. “All this walking is not agreeing with me.”

A bubbly laugh escaped Peter, and he slapped Harry on the shoulder good-naturedly. 

“I hear ya’, buddy. In we go, then! I’m sure Toriel will be happy to see us.” He hoped so, anyway. She  _ had  _ said for them to stay put, but...ahhh, it would probably be fine. Toriel was a nice lady, she wouldn’t be mad! She’d be proud that they made it all this way without her guidance. That was what Peter told himself as they climbed the purple stone steps and lightly rapped on the aged wooden door. Within ten seconds, it was swinging open to reveal Toriel’s smiling face.

“Hello! I- Oh!” Her expression changed to shock when she saw who it was standing on her stoop. Peter and Harry gave her matching (slightly nervous) smiles, and Harry raised his hand halfway to his side in a hesitant wave. 

“Hi, Toriel,” Peter said cheerfully. “Surprise!! Heheh!”

Toriel gazed at them in confusion for a few more moments before breaking into a smile herself. A smile was a good sign! Right?

“Oh, my children!” She reached forward and brought them both into a big hug. “I am very surprised to see you! How did you get here?” She stepped back to allow them to come all the way inside, which they gratefully did. 

The interior of the house was just as cozy as the outside. Warm, light wood-paneled walls extended off to either side of the main foyer, which contained a medium-sized bookcase, a tall vase and some golden flowers, and a staircase descending to somewhere else - presumably a basement. There was also a thin, long mirror on the far wall near the stairs, which the boys could see themselves reflected in. They looked tired, but happy. 

“Funny story!” Peter laughed, scratching at his neck. “See, we kinda...sorta...figured that we could, uh, traverse the Ruins on our own! And in doing so, you know, show you that we can be trusted by ourselves!” He clasped his hands, not knowing what else to do with them, and continued smiling up at the woman. He hoped it didn’t look strained. 

“It was all his idea,” Harry added, pointing to Peter. “Just so you know. I wanted to stay there like you told us, but Pete  _ insisted  _ that we go exploring.” 

“Hey!” Peter exclaimed. “That’s not-! Okay, yeah, that’s entirely true.” He lowered his head and peered up at Toriel from beneath his curtain of hair. “If you’re gonna be mad, just be mad at me, okay? Harry really did try to stop me, but I was an ass and prodded him into it.” 

To his surprise and great relief, Toriel didn’t look mad at all. On the contrary; she looked delighted.

_ Huh? _

“Oh, dear,” she laughed in her high, tinkly voice. “I am not mad! Do not worry, my child.” She patted Peter’s head affectionately, and he instantly felt all the worry drain out of him. 

“You’re not?” he asked.

“You’re not?” asked Harry. 

“No!” she giggled, waving her hand. “I mean, I do worry about what you had to go through to get here… and I would have come back to fetch you, once I was finished with my errands…” She folded her hands and beamed at them. “But I am very proud of you for making it here on your own. Even if you did leave the other room.” 

“Whew,” said Peter. “That’s a relief.”

“You got lucky this time,” Harry said as he shook his head, but he was smirking at Peter in amusement. Peter shot him another grin back. 

“What can I say? The lady is an understanding person.”

Toriel giggled again, nearly doubling over in glee. Making her laugh so much felt great. Making Toriel happy was kinda like...showing your parents a drawing you made in school and them putting it on the fridge. Okay, maybe that wasn’t a perfect analogy, but Peter felt it fit for the most part, at least. He just enjoyed seeing her happy. And having someone find him funny was always a plus. 

Harry suddenly lifted his head, inhaling deeply and squinting his eyes. There was something in the air, something that smelled that absolutely incredible. What was it? What could be making a smell that wonderful? It was so distracting that he couldn’t think of anything else.

Toriel noticed his extreme concentration and clapped her hands together.

"I suppose now is a good time to say that I have a surprise for you, too!" she exclaimed. "Do you smell that? It's a butterscotch-cinnamon pie!” Harry snapped his fingers.

“THAT’S what it is!” he said. “Pie! Oh my God, it smells so good.” 

“I thought we might celebrate your arrival,” Toriel explained. “I want you to have a nice time living here.” Her sincere face truly warmed their hearts. 

"Aw, Toriel, that's so nice of you!" Peter said. “Now I understand why you asked me about cinnamon and butterscotch, heh. It all makes sense now.” 

“Pie is exactly what I need right now,” Harry declared. “Thanks, Toriel. It’s really amazing, all you’re doing for us. I wish we knew how to repay you.” He gave her another smile.

Toriel's own smile widened, and she put her hand on Harry’s shoulder. "I'm so happy you are excited about the pie,” she said happily. “I'll hold off on snail pie for tonight. We can all have some cinnamon-butterscotch.” That certainly sounded good to Peter and Harry. Snails were not on their list of favorite delicacies.

Toriel turned toward the hallway to her right, but suddenly stopped in her tracks and held a finger up as though she’d remembered something. 

“Oh! Hold on. Here, I have another surprise for you, first; follow me." She beckoned them down the other hallway, and the two exchanged surprised glances before following after her, eager to see what else she wanted to show them. If Toriel’s house was the safe place that she was offering them, then they were very lucky boys indeed. Staying for a while in what was basically an extra-cozy Grandma Style house? Honestly, they couldn’t have asked for a better turn of events. 


	7. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys explore the other surprise Toriel has for them, and find a curious photograph that Peter becomes a bit preoccupied with. After a short nap, they tell Toriel they need some guidance finding the rest of the way home, and are distressed to find out that they've made her sad with their intentions to return to the Surface. Luckily, Peter is able to come up with a solution, and they eagerly race off to tell Toriel their idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoooo boy, it's about to be Sad Boi hours up in here, lads ;_; This part always hurts me asdfghjkl. Luckily, as we'll soon see, things will turn out alright - even if it's still bittersweet. 
> 
> Now that we're close to leaving the Ruins behind, things will start to pick up even quicker! This is a big job to tackle every week, but as I love it so much, it's all worth it to be able to share with y'all :) 
> 
> (Also, I'm gonna go back real quick and fix some formatting stuff that's been bugging me, haha. Hopefully this'll make it easier to read!)

Toriel led them down the small corridor and stopped at a closed door. It was a simple door, with peeling tan paint and several cracks showing through, and looked as if it hadn’t been opened in quite a while. 

"This is it," she said. "A room of your very own.” She played with her hands a little anxiously, looking down at the two with a half-smile. “I am sorry it is not much, but I hope that you will like it anyway. It has been a while since anyone has used it, so I haven’t gotten around to fixing it up the way I want to. I hope you understand.” 

Peter and Harry were grinning. The fact that Toriel had actually made up a room for them warmed their hearts to the core. They had no doubt that they’d feel comfortable resting there for a while. 

"Like it? We love it! This is amazing. Thank you, Toriel," Peter said warmly. Harry gave an affirming nod.

“This is really nice, and way more than we could ever ask for. Thank you.”

“You are so welcome. I am very glad you are here.” Toriel smiled and put her hands up to lightly ruffle both boys' hair, rubbing their heads affectionately. 

The smell of the pie that permeated the air suddenly took on a tangy tinge, and Toriel sniffed the air with a small frown. "Oh dear. Is something burning? Um, I have to go take care of that; make yourselves at home!" She quickly hurried off into the kitchen, and Peter and Harry figured it was time to check out the inside of their room. Peter gently pushed the peeling door open to reveal a medium-sized space filled with cute, compact furniture that complimented the cinnamon color of the walls. 

Two beds sat across from each other, both facing the door, and on the far wall was a dresser upon which there were several photos and knickknacks. While Harry sat down on the bed on the right, eager to test its softness and springiness, Peter wandered closer to the dresser and tried his best to get a closer at the photos on top of it. He had to stand on tiptoe, as the dresser was quite tall, and he was...well, quite short.

"This is amazing," Harry said in awe, throwing himself back in a fully splayed position on the bed once he’d determined that it was indeed of fine Fluff quality. He ran his hand over the stitched material of the quilted bedspread and smiled blissfully. The texture was somewhat foreign, but not unpleasantly so. “Somehow this is more comfortable than that exclusive model of Tempurpedic Dad got me last year.” 

_ Probably because this one was made with love, and the other one was just made with standard silk sheets, _he mused. Not that silk sheets weren’t incredible. He just felt that if he had to choose, he’d go with the adorable quilt-covered bed in an adorable goat lady’s house over some factory-produced thing every time. No offense to Tempurpedic. 

"Yeah. I can't believe she's doing all this for us,” Peter murmured, continuing to strain to get a look at the photographs. Was he _ really _this short? He knew he was kind of small compared to other teenagers his age, but it was most definitely the dresser that was the oddly proportioned one here. No dresser was supposed to be that tall. “Damn, seriously?”

Harry picked his head up from the oversized pillow.

“What’s wrong?”

Peter made a light little hop in desperation. Still no luck; he just barely crested the top. “I can’t see these photos,” he complained, hunching over in defeat. “The dresser’s too tall.” It was just his luck, wasn’t it? Where was a stepping stool when you needed one…

Harry couldn’t stop himself from laughing at his friend’s predicament, sitting up fully and clutching his stomach. 

“Oh my God,” he sputtered. “You mean you’re too short?” 

“Shut up!” Peter groused. “I said the _ dresser’s _ too _ tall. _Stop laughing at my perfectly acceptable height and help me!” He crossed his arms defensively and pouted as Harry, still laughing, obligingly got up and made his way over to the dresser.

“Alright, alright, I’ll get ‘em down for you! Chill out. Not my fault you’re short.”

“You’re only a few inches taller than me!” Peter yelped. “You’re short, too!” 

Harry stood up as tall as he could, bracing himself against the dresser itself for support, and just managed to grasp the edge of the closest framed photo with the tips of his fingers. “And yet I’m still the only one of us able to get the picture down,” he said with a smirk, waving the frame in front of Peter. Peter rolled his eyes and snatched it out of his hand.

“Thank you very much, oh Taller Friend of mine. You can go back to your restful reclining, now; your assistance is no longer needed.” He motioned toward the bed with a smug, teasing expression. Harry, however, wasn’t keen on being left out of the slight snooping; he instead moved closer to Peter and looked down at the photo in his hands, which depicted four people -- three humans, and a monster that looked kind of like a mini version of Toriel -- holding bouquets of bright golden flowers. They appeared to be all male - except for the monster, who looked rather androgynous - and around the same age as Peter and Harry themselves, if they were judging by height. The monster had a huge smile plastered on their face, and from what they could see of the other boys, they were smiling, too. Oddly, the upper halves of the faces of the two in the middle were obscured by the flowers they were holding, making it impossible for Peter or Harry to make out any defining features. All they could see was their happy grins.

“Huh,” Peter said, studying the picture curiously. “I wonder who these kids are.” 

Harry bit his lip in thought. 

“That one looks like Toriel a little bit. Do you think that’s her, when she was younger?” The young monster in the photograph didn’t have any horns, and was wearing a blatantly different color scheme than Toriel’s elegant purple and white robe, but that didn’t really mean anything. Tastes could change, horns could grow. When Harry had been ten, he’d gone through a Green Phase, and now he hardly wore anything that wasn’t black or some other neutral color. Maybe Toriel had gotten sick of green the same way he had. 

“Maybe,” Peter agreed. “But then, who’re these people?” He pointed to the three human boys. “I thought that monsters didn’t like humans.” He idly rubbed his cheek as he tried to make sense of it all. “But...I guess, if it _ is _Toriel, she’s pretty different from most of the other monsters we’ve seen. Maybe they were friends.” 

“She did say that it’s been a long time since any humans were down here,” Harry pointed out. “Maybe it was back when she was a kid.” Harry didn’t know how old Toriel was, and certainly had no intention of asking (it was incredibly rude to ask a lady her age, after all), but she had to at least be old enough to own her own home, so it was probably a safe bet to say that that really had been quite a while ago. At the very least, a little over twenty years. It was kind of staggering to think that they were the first humans to fall into the mountain in such a long time. 

Peter gazed at the picture for a few moments longer before handing it back to Harry. “Here, put it back up on the dresser. I don’t wanna move anything out of its proper place.”

“Good idea.”

Once it was back with the others, Peter took a seat on the bed opposite Harry’s and put his chin in his hand. He was still contemplating the contents of the photo. For some reason, it really bugged him that they couldn’t see the faces of the two boys in the middle. The monster, who could possibly be a young Toriel, and the boy on the far right were completely visible; they were cheerful, smiley, and looking right at the camera. The boy’s blond hair had some petals strewn about in it, nearly invisible thanks to their almost identical color. 

_ Why did the others have to hold their flowers like that, dammit? _

He didn’t even know why it bothered him, really. It shouldn’t have mattered in the slightest. Those people were either grown up or gone, and it would be easy enough to ask Toriel about who they were and what the story was (if they wanted to admit to her that they’d taken a look at the pictures, that was). So why did it nag at him in the pit of his stomach that he couldn’t see most of their faces? 

Peter shook his head in annoyance. _ Ugh, whatever. _He was starting to feel a bit tired, and decided to chalk his obsession up to weariness. Maybe once he got some rest, he’d feel better. Yawning quite loudly, Peter stretched himself out on the bed, raising his arms above his head and arching his back in a very catlike manner. 

“Y’know, I’m pretty beat,” he told Harry, rolling over on his side to face the other boy. “I think I might take a nap. Just a quick one. You don’t think Toriel would mind, do you?”

Harry shook his head.

“I can’t see why. She gave us this room to use, after all.” He laid himself down on his own bed again and wormed his way under the covers. Might as well take advantage of them if they were there, right? “Now that you mention it, a nap sounds like a pretty good idea. Wake me in an hour." 

“Sure, as long as I’m awake by then too.” 

Both laughed lightly, and Peter shut the lights off with a small blast of web, making a note to clean it up before they left the room. It wouldn’t be polite to leave spiderweb in Toriel’s guest room. 

As the boys lay there in the dark, allowing their breathing to slow, Peter rolled over on his other side and stared at the wall. He willed himself to forget the picture and the obscured boys’ faces, to just clear his mind and let himself gain a few precious minutes of sleep. They still didn’t know what lay ahead, after all; they still had to find an exit that would lead them up and out of the mountain.

_ Hopefully Toriel can point us in the right direction, _ he thought as his eyes finally fluttered shut. _ Or maybe come with us. _

With these last thoughts in his head, Peter slipped into a relatively sound sleep, all thoughts of the mysterious humans from the photograph finally, blissfully fading away.

~~~

When they awoke about an hour and a half later, sitting up and stretching to shake off the last vestiges of sleep, Peter and Harry discovered that two pieces of butterscotch-cinnamon pie sat on the floor by the foot of their beds. The sweet aroma had likely been the thing that roused them. There were certainly no complaints there; they’d almost completely forgotten about the pie while exploring their room, and were relieved to see that they’d still be able to have a slice.

Peter smiled and hopped out of bed, turned on the lights (making sure to pick up any traces of web left on the switch), and picked up his slice. Harry grabbed his own with eager hands, and they sat in silence while they ate it, the only noises being that of eating and absolute euphoria.

“God,” Harry sighed once he’d finished, setting the plate down beside him. “I want to live here forever. Let me stay in this cute house and eat pie with Toriel for the rest of my days.”

Peter chuckled and gave a small shake of his head.

“I feel that, buddy. But you know we can’t do that. There’s a city out there that’s missing its resident spider-boy and rich kid.” As much as he knew that living with Toriel would be something of a dream come true, they both had people back home who loved and missed them, and who they knew they couldn’t live without. Plus there was that whole ‘power and responsibility’ thing Peter had. Still, he was more determined than ever to ask Toriel if she might consider becoming their legal adoptive mom. There was no harm in trying, right?

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry said, standing up and grabbing the plate again. “I know. You don’t have to hammer it in.” He sighed deeply and gave the bed a final pat. “I will miss you, bed. You were a noble dream vessel.” 

“Come on, Shakespeare,” Peter smirked, gently pulling Harry out into the hall. “Let’s go find our hostess and thank her for the pie. And maybe ask for directions to the nearest exit tunnel.”

They found her in the living room, sitting in a high-backed rocking chair and reading a book with a cracked spine. Apparently sensing their presence, Toriel looked up from her book before they’d even said anything and smiled at them. 

"Oh, up already? Did you have a nice rest?”

“Great,” Peter said honestly, returning the smile. “Thanks again for letting us use your guest room. And for the pie! It was delicious.” 

“I need your recipe,” said Harry seriously. “I don’t think I’ll be able to live without it now that I’ve tasted it.”

Toriel giggled and set the book face-down on her lap, running one hand along her right ear.

“Heehee, I am so glad you liked it! That makes me very happy to hear.” 

Peter looked around the room briefly as she spoke, taking notice of the tall shelves absolutely packed with volumes and volumes of books. Clearly Toriel was a very educated person. He admired that. 

He was just about to turn back to her and ready himself to ask his two important questions - _ 1\. Do you know the way out of the mountains, and 2. Will you be our mom - _when she noticed him gazing at her many bookshelves, and her eyes lit up. Folding her hands primly, she said, “Um, I want you to know how glad I am to have someone here.”

The boys smiled softly at her.

“We’re glad to be here, too,” Peter told her. “Like I said before, we can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done. I think we’d be long gone without you, Toriel.” Harry made a noise of agreement.

“Your house is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen. I told Peter earlier that I literally wanna stay here forever.” He laughed to himself, and Toriel’s smile grew exponentially. 

“Oh, my, I am so happy,” she said, and they could see bright tears beading in her eyes. “It means...so much to me that you would say that. There are so many old books I want to share with you. I want to show you my favorite bug-hunting spot, too.” She was getting excited now, animatedly moving her hands as she spoke. “Oh! I've also prepared a curriculum for your education. This may come as a surprise to you, but I have always wanted to be a teacher." She glanced around at the various history books lining her bookshelves and laughed. "Actually, perhaps that isn't very surprising. Still, I am glad to have you living here." 

Peter and Harry glanced at each other with slightly bewildered expressions. Education? ‘Living here’? Did she think…? Oh, God. Oh, no. _ Did Toriel think they were going to stay? _

Peter mentally scanned back through every conversation they’d had with the goat woman, trying to remember if they’d actually mentioned the fact that they needed to get home. What if they hadn’t? What if they’d accidentally given her the impression that they could stay there, under the mountain, with her? Telling her now could break her heart, and that was the absolute last thing Peter and Harry wanted to do. But...it wasn’t like there was any alternative. They _ did _have to go home. As much as they loved Toriel, and as much as it would be amazing to live with her in her quaint little home, their conversation in the guest room had been the truth: they had to get back to the Surface.

How on earth were they going to do this?

_ Carefully, Pete _ , Peter told himself. _ Do it carefully. Be gentle. _

"Oh, uhh...actually, Toriel..." Peter began, glancing nervously again at Harry. Harry just shrugged with an equally concerned face. 

"Hmmm?" Toriel asked. “Did you want to tell me something?” Her face was so open and expectant that it twisted Peter’s heart like a knife. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to get on with it. 

"Um...yeah. So, as I said, we really appreciate everything you’ve done so, so much. And you're an incredible person. You have one of the kindest hearts I’ve seen in a long time.” He closed his eyes for a brief second. _ Do it. Just spit it out. It won’t get any easier. _“But...we do need to find a way home." 

Toriel blinked. She looked as if she hadn’t quite correctly heard what Peter had said. 

"What?” she asked slowly, tilting her head. God, the look on her face was slowly killing them inside. Why did it have to be this way?

“We have to...go home,” Peter said apologetically, lowering his head. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. I really thought we had, but I guess we were so wrapped up in this new world that we...we forgot.” Toriel blinked again, rapidly.

“This...this IS your home now," she said, letting out a forced little laugh. Before either boy could speak again, she hurriedly pick up the book she’d been reading and said, "Um...oh! Would you like to hear about this book I am reading? It is called, '72 Uses for Snails'. How about it? Hmm?" She’d corrected her expression into one of cheerfulness, but it was plain to see that it was wavering. 

_ I am a terrible person, _Peter thought. Yet, it had to be done. 

Gently he said, "That sounds really interesting, Toriel, but we'd really like to know how to get back home, if that’s okay. Do you think you might be able to, uh, point us in the right direction?" 

Toriel looked down at her book. "Um, how about an interesting snail fact? Like...did you know that snails sometimes flip their digestive systems as they mature? Interesting!" 

Harry and Peter felt worse and worse by the minute. Seeing this usually kind, happy woman cracking as she tried desperately to avoid the truth of the situation was a blow to both of them. They’d never intended to make her unhappy. If they could have found a way to make sure she’d never be sad again, they would have done it in a heartbeat, but it seemed that the only thing that could make her happy in this instant was if they stayed. And that just wasn’t something they could do.

With a great heaviness in his heart, Peter said, "Please, Toriel, please help us. I’m so sorry. I wish there was some way we could fix this. I wish we’d been up front with what our plans were when we first met.” He wrung his hands anxiously. “I feel like an idiot and a jerk doing this after all you’ve done for us. I just hope that you know it’s not because of anything having to do with you.” 

“Absolutely not,” Harry spoke up. “It’s not that we don’t wanna be with you, Toriel. Nothing could be further from the truth.” He made a strained chuckle. “Peter was actually thinking of asking you to become our adopted mom, heh. That should show you how great we think you are.” He scratched at his neck, not knowing what else to do with his hands. “I...I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad…” 

Toriel stared at them for awhile, her face completely unreadable. Harry had hoped that mentioning Peter’s desire to be her new child would lighten the mood, but now he worried that it might have broken her. Shit, could he do _ anything _right? 

As they all stared at each other in silence, the boys desperately searching for something to say that would save the situation, Toriel abruptly stood up. "I...I have to do something. Stay here."

“Toriel-?”

Without waiting for them to reply, she headed off down the hall. They could hear her footsteps receding, likely down the stairs in the foyer. Then she was gone. 

Peter and Harry looked at each other again, eyes wide and utterly crushed. 

"She's so upset," Harry said quietly. "God, I feel awful.” The two stood awkwardly in the now empty space, a space that had once felt warm and welcoming, but was now permeated by an air of grief. And it was all their fault. 

“But...I mean…” Harry scuffed the floor with his heel. “You were right. We have to go home. We need to get back to New York." 

"I know," Peter said. "I feel like such an asshole. I never wanted to be the reason she’s upset.” Seeing how completely betrayed she’d looked… The memory of it was still a painful lead weight in his chest. “I wish there was some way we could make this right. I don’t wanna leave here on bad terms with Toriel. I don’t think I could take it.”

“Me either.”

They were quiet again, each doing his best to come up with some sort of solution. It was tough to think critically when they knew that somewhere below them, Toriel was likely crying her eyes out or hating them. Or both. 

“What if...what if we found a way to visit?” Peter ventured. Harry looked at him questioningly. “Like...I know we got here by falling down into the mountain,” the boy continued, “but what if there’s a more easily accessible, less _ painful _way to get back down here?”

“Like an exit tunnel?” Harry asked.

“Yeah! One of the tunnels that we know have to be down here!” Peter exclaimed, nodding eagerly. “Wherever that leads out, we can probably get back in the same way, y’know? So we could mark it down somehow, on a map or something, and then whenever we wanted to take a visit to Toriel’s house -- there’s our answer!” He was becoming excited now, all traces of sorrow gone from his face. It was genius (if he did say so himself)! Okay, so maybe they couldn’t _ live _with Toriel, but surely visiting would be the next best thing! They wouldn’t have to give up their new goat mom after all.

“That might just be crazy enough to work,” Harry said slowly, a smile coming back to his face. “As long as we can get down into Mt. Ebott without breaking our backs, there’s no reason we can’t come and see Toriel every week or so.” 

“_ Exactly! _” Peter said, pumping his fist in the air. “C’mon, Har, we gotta go find Toriel and tell her our idea! I can’t wait to see her face get all happy again.” 

And so, armed with their genius plan, Peter and Harry raced off to the foyer and took the stairs two at a time down to the lowest level of the house. Both were occupied with many rosy, happy thoughts as they went, completely certain now that they could make everything alright and restore Toriel’s cheerful disposition. She wouldn’t have to stay sad for long.


	8. Heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys and Toriel have an emotional confrontation after they find out she intends to destroy the only exit to the rest of the Underground, and, by extension, the Surface. After talking her down, making up, and giving a tearful goodbye, they venture on to the rest of the cavern - but not before running into a certain antagonistic talking flower one more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here!! Sorry I missed the Friday upload, y'all - this past week was super hectic with Christmas and everything! But I'm glad I was able to at least finish editing for the weekend, haha.
> 
> This chapter,,,,Hurt Me. It also made me really happy, though, near the end ;u; I'm really, really proud of how this one came out! I think this chapter is my favorite expansion on the original story so far; it feels so much more complete now. I hope you all enjoy, and that everyone had a great holiday season! :)
> 
> (Oh, also, I may be a bit late with uploading this coming week, too; a friend's coming to visit for a few days, which is very exciting :D But I'll do my best to have it for you as soon as possible! <3)

At the bottom of the stairs was another long, purple corridor. Toriel was standing in the middle of it, her back turned to Peter and Harry. She looked as if she were contemplating something very hard; her shoulders were tense, and the air around her seemed thick with...something.

"Toriel?" Peter asked gently. 

"You wish to know how to return 'home', do you not?” Toriel asked, voice low and edged with wistfulness. This was so unlike any tone they’d heard her speak with before that both were rather taken aback. Peter’s stomach started to twist painfully, and he swallowed. 

“We...yes,” he said numbly. “B-But Harry and I were talking upstairs, and we realized that-” 

“Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins," she told them, cutting Peter off. "A one-way exit to the rest of the Underground." 

Peter and Harry’s eyes widened slightly. 

"Oh...really?” Harry asked. “Well, that’s...that’s good news.” 

_ I think.  _

There was a fuzzy feeling at the back of Peter’s head, reminiscent of his spider sense but  _ different _ , somehow. It didn’t feel like they were in danger. He knew enough about Toriel now that he was certain she’d never purposely hurt them. But the uneasiness that pervaded the space as soon as they’d stepped off the staircase was still there, slowly increasing in volume, and Peter didn’t like the feel of it at all. Something was wrong. Toriel wasn’t acting like herself. 

_ Probably our fault,  _ he lamented.  _ We broke her heart. We have to make things right. _

“Toriel,” Peter tried again, “we have to tell you something. The last thing we’d  _ ever  _ want to do is hurt you, you know that, right? I-I think Har and I found a way to fix this mess we made. If we-”

“I am going to destroy it." 

That single, matter-of-fact statement was enough to suck the very breath from their chests. All around Peter, the world seemed to fade in and out of focus as he tried to process what it was that Toriel was saying. This didn’t add up. It didn’t jive with how he knew this woman to be. After all she’d done for them, after every kindness she’d showed…was this really how it was going to end?

" _ What?! _ " they shrieked. 

“You leave me no choice,” she said sadly, but her voice was still quiet and firm. “You don’t understand. I’m doing this for you. Please…leave me now. I will return upstairs when I am finished.”

"Toriel, why? No!” Peter said desperately, running up to her and taking her arm. “We- We have a plan! Once we leave, we can come visit you! We got it all figured out!” He turned to Harry for assistance, but his friend was so shell-shocked that all he could really do was blink a couple of times. Harry looked like he’d seen a ghost - a spooky one, not a sad but harmless one like Napstablook.

Toriel shook her head. "No one will ever be able to leave again,” she stated. “Now, be good children and go upstairs." 

She took her arm out of Peter’s hand and began to walk swiftly toward the end of the corridor, her footsteps swift and purposeful. Peter stared after her in dismay for a moment before grabbing Harry’s hand and tearing off in the same direction. He couldn’t just let her do this without at least trying to reason with her. If only he could get more than a sentence out... 

"Wait! Wait!" Peter called. “Please, you don’t have to do this! Let us talk to you!”

Toriel paused and flexed her hands, extending her slender fingers one by one before curling them back into a loose fist. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out through her nose. Toriel didn’t turn around, but she moved her head very slightly so she could look back at them out of the corner of her eye. 

"Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. I have seen it again and again,” she said softly. “They come. They leave. They die.” Her voice hardened again on the last word, and when she spoke again a few seconds later, there was a coldness to it that startled them even more than her seriousness. “You naive children… If you leave the Ruins, they... _ Asgore _ ...will kill you.” Finally she turned to face the boys, who’d both gone pale with shock. 

“I am only protecting you, do you understand?" she asked, her eyebrows knit with concern. Most of the hardness in her face was gone, replaced with very real sadness. Peter and Harry were still stunned by these vagaries in Toriel’s manner, and couldn’t find their voices quite yet to respond to the magnitude of a knowledge bomb she’d just dropped. Toriel sighed softly. "...Go to your room."

She turned around again and continued on with sure strides. The boys only allowed themselves another moment of immobility before hurrying after her again. There was no time to waste being gobsmacked; the only way they were going to get any anywhere was to talk some sense into Toriel and make her hear them out, and right now, their main focus was ensuring that she didn’t destroy the only way they had of getting back to the Surface and the city.

“Wait,  _ wait!”  _ Peter cried, putting on an extra burst of speed and placing himself in Toriel’s path. He held his arms out to the side, not as a threatening gesture, but one of desperation. It was the only thing he could think of right now to keep her from advancing any further. “Toriel, you gotta stop. Just wait, and  _ listen  _ to us.” He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut briefly. “Wh...What’re you talking about? Who’s Asgore? How many other humans have come here before us? Would the monsters out there in the rest of the Underground really  _ kill us?”  _ He couldn’t stop himself from blurting out every question on his mind. He knew he should have just told her about their plan to come back and visit via a less painful route, but everything she’d said was whirling around in his head like a hurricane and he had to know the answers.

She stopped again, her normally kind features hard once again. "Do not try to stop me,” she said in lieu of a real response. Her rose-colored eyes glinted intensely. “This is your final warning." Then she went on, and again the two went after her. Peter tried to grasp for the back of her purple robe in a last-ditch effort to get her to slow down, but it  _ just  _ slipped out of his reach.  _ Crap. _

They watched helplessly as she finally reached the large purple door that marked the exit from the Ruins. She took another deep breath and closed her eyes, then raised her arms toward the door - probably readying an attack to turn it into dust and rubble. And if she did that, they’d never get out of this place. Goat mother or no goat mother, Peter just couldn’t let that happen. 

_ “No!!”  _

Acting purely on instinct, Peter reached forward and grabbed her right arm, tugging it back and making it so that her spell misfired at the last moment. He’d still made sure that he didn’t hurt her - he would never do that, even if he  _ was  _ incredibly frantic - but that didn’t lessen the vice grip that tightened around his heart as soon as he’d done it. Raising a hand against Toriel, despite not being in a violent manner, felt like a grave sin.

Peter let go quickly and Toriel wavered slightly in surprise, but didn’t fall. Peter and Harry stood a ways back and watched silently, huddled together, faces contorted in a mix of apprehension and sorrow. Neither knew what would happen now. Would Toriel finally listen? Or had the limits of her patience been tested one too many times? More importantly, what in the world were they going to do if she grew genuinely angry with them? The very thought turned their stomachs to pure bile.

Once she’d recovered, Toriel whirled on them with a fierce scowl. Her eyes were narrowed, but they could see tears welling up in them, far different from the happy ones she’d exhibited just moments earlier. 

"You want to leave so badly?” she spat. “Hmph. You are just like the others.” She squared her shoulders and held her arms stiff by her sides. The pure emotion on her face was indecipherable. There was certainly anger, and despair, and even concern…but there was something even deeper there that neither Peter nor Harry could put their finger on. Their best guess was that it was something like...like deep, indelible _ fear.  _

“Toriel,  _ please,”  _ Peter said, pressing his hands together and looking up into her face. “You don’t have to do this. We won’t leave you forever, you have to believe us. If you just show us the way out, we’ll come back! I promise we will! We’ll come back through the other tunnel and visit you every week - more, if we can! We won’t forget you, I swear we won’t.” Tears of his own were pricking hotly at his eyes, and he wiped them away with his sleeve without breaking eye contact. 

“We’re sorry if we hurt you,” Harry said hoarsely. “We didn’t want this to happen. Please don’t do this. I’m sorry.”

Toriel’s mouth trembled.

“You think this is just about me?” she asked, and her voice shook terribly. “You truly do not understand. I am doing this to  _ protect  _ you.” She waved an arm back toward the door, eyes still locked on Peter and Harry. “If you go out there-” She stopped, pressing a hand to her mouth and swallowing tightly. “If you go out there,” she began again, “you will  _ never  _ come back. Do you realize that? If you leave the Ruins, there will be nothing and nobody to protect you. You will be dead before you reach the Barrier.” 

Peter shook his head in confusion and frustration. To him, the solution seemed simple: have Toriel go with them. Why didn’t she think of that? Why act like it was the end of the world? She herself had told them that she’d always protect them. She’d never said anything about it only applying to the Ruins. 

“But why?” he asked, tugging on the ends of his hair. “Why can’t you just go with us? If we have you, we won’t get hurt! And we can talk down any hostile monsters we meet!” Harry nodded timidly. 

“C-Can’t you just...take us to the Barrier? Whatever that is?” Harry asked. 

Toriel immediately looked off to the side, rubbing her neck nervously. 

“I cannot go with you,” she told them. “That would be...impossible.”

“Why?”

“It would be too hard to explain.”

“But you’re a monster, too! Surely no one would attack  _ you? _ ”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what  _ is  _ it?” Peter asked, his patience wearing thin. He had no idea why she was making it so hard! By refusing to explain, it just made it seem like she didn’t want to go with them. Deep down he knew that wasn’t true, but the part of him that detested vague non-answers was rising to the surface. All he wanted to do was make up with Toriel and see her smile at them again. And get back to the Surface. That was all; was it really too much to ask?

“ _ Enough, _ ” Toriel said firmly. Peter lowered his head a little, stung at being spoken to in such a harsh way by someone he was beginning to consider a mother. Toriel’s features softened the slightest bit, apparently regretful, but she still maintained her stiff posture. “I am not leaving the Ruins, and that is final. I do not want you to leave, either; it is dangerous and difficult out there and you will  _ die,  _ just like all the others!” She wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her robe and let out a shuddering breath. Then she said, “But...you still wish to go home. Don’t you?”

Peter and Harry looked at one another, then back to Toriel. “We have to,” Peter said, softly, hopelessly. Toriel nodded gravely.

“I see. There is only one solution to this, then,” she said tersely. Her voice had gone quiet and cold again, and that scared the boys almost more than her blazing anger. “Prove yourselves. Prove to me that you are strong enough to survive." She lifted her chin and took a step forward, and several small, fist-sized flames rose around her and hung in the air. Peter’s stomach took a nosedive into the soles of his feet, taking all the color in his face with it.

“No,” was all he could think to say. “No…” 

“Oh my God,” said Harry faintly. “Sh...She’s gonna kill us.”

“No, she won’t,” Peter said, forcing himself to try and remain calm. “She would never hurt us.” But looking at the flames, and Toriel’s stony face, even he was beginning to question that. And he hated it.

Toriel, her face a mask of grim acceptance, lifted her hands and sent the hovering flames shooting out toward Peter and Harry. Peter’s eyes widened to a comically large size, and he seized Harry by the arm with a vice-like grip.

“ _ Move!!” _

Peter yanked his friend out of the way just before a flame could hit him, prompting a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, three others came hurtling at them immediately afterward, giving him no time to rest. Peter jumped over the first two, and, seeing that one of them was going to get hit by the last one no matter what, shoved Harry to the ground and took the attack himself. The flame hit him dead center in the chest and dispersed as soon as it made contact, sending a fiery pain (the pun of which would normally not be lost on him, but in this case went unacknowledged) radiating out to his extremities. 

“Aaagh!” 

Toriel clenched her eyes shut and he could just barely hear her whisper, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry… Please forgive me…”

“ _ Pete _ ! Are you okay?” Harry yelled, pushing himself back to his feet and scrambling over to Peter. The pain of the attack faded quickly, but Peter’s heart was still aching as he said, “I-I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Try not to get hit with those things, okay?” 

No sooner had he said this did more flames come at them with lightning speed and intensity, fanning out in a loose line formation. This time Peter was better prepared, and he snagged Harry and jumped over the advancing rank of fire. 

“Toriel, stop it,” Peter said tiredly, the desperation in his eyes and voice clearer than it had ever been. “Please. We love you. Don’t do this.” 

The goat woman gritted her teeth and didn’t reply, only raising a hand to send another attack their way. Again they managed to dodge it, but both boys had an undeniable weariness creeping into their bones. The emotional and physical strain of this confrontation was taking its toll, and Peter had a feeling it wouldn’t be long until they couldn’t take anymore. He prayed that she’d calm down before that time came.

As Peter and Harry continued to give it everything they had in avoiding the attacks, occasionally shouting a plea, a different look came into Toriel’s eyes. They were angry, certainly, but now the confusion that had before only crested the surface was there in full view. Her shoulders started to droop, and the fiery passion she’d had when she’d begun had fizzled out with her previous flames. Now, as she executed yet another attack, the flames seemed to deliberately avoid Peter and Harry, instead floating around them and landing harmlessly on the ground before dissipating. This change did not go unnoticed. 

“Toriel…?” 

"What are you doing?" she asked, scrunching up her eyes as if she were trying to spot a trick just barely hidden from sight. 

“What do you mean?” Peter asked, dumbfounded. “We’re trying to talk to you!”

“You’re only standing there,” she said, grimacing. “You haven’t done a single thing to protect yourselves! You’re just...dodging!”

“We’re not going to hurt you.”

Toriel scowled. 

“You must! You must defend yourselves, or you’re going to die! Do you understand?” 

Peter and Harry, exhausted though they were, stood their ground firmly. 

“No. We’re not going to fight you.” He extended his arms, palm-up, to her as a gesture of peace. “You’re the one who taught us to talk it out, remember? We’re not going back on that so easily.” He gave her a weak smile, as best he could muster, and beside him Harry pressed his hands together in a pleading way.

She stared at them with dozens of emotions flashing across her face, eyes widening and narrowing at a rapid pace, as if they couldn’t decide whether they wanted to be open or closed. Finally, she shook her head and spat, “Don’t be foolish! Attack or run away!” A little quieter, more desperately, she added, "What are you proving this way?" 

She fired off more flames, and again they missed completely. Whether it was of Toriel’s own volition or simply due to the mixed state of her emotions, they didn’t know, but it strengthened their belief and hope that they were getting somewhere. Maybe, just maybe, they could still fix this. 

“We don’t want to hurt you,” Peter repeated, slowly moving closer, “and I know you don’t want to hurt us. Everything you’ve done to help us proves that. We care about you just as much as you care about us, and that’s why we’re not fighting back. Please. We’re trying to reach you. All we need you to do is listen.”

Toriel bit her lip and took a step back. Peter’s face fell. But...he couldn’t give up. He took another step forward, and though his eyes were locked on Toriel’s, he could feel Harry beside him, matching every stride. They’d do this together.

“Stop it,” she demanded as her back hit the door. “Do you hear me? Stop it!” She waved her arm, but the flames fizzled and died before even making it halfway across the chamber. “Fight me or leave!" They could hear the pure desperation in her voice, and it wormed its way into the cracks in their hearts. 

“Toriel,” Peter said calmly. “Please.”

"No. Stop it." 

“We’re not going to hurt you.”

"Stay back. Stop looking at me that way." 

“Please just listen to us.”

“ _ Go away! _ " she howled, pressing her hands to her ears. Two streams of tears fell down her cheeks. By now the attacks had stopped completely, unable to find the energy to form now that Toriel’s rage had turned completely to sorrow. Peter looked to Harry, and Harry looked to Peter, and both paused where they were -- about five feet from the sobbing goat woman. 

Toriel cleared her throat and viciously swiped at her eyes until the tears stopped, but they left small trails in her fur. Her eyes were rimmed with red as she said, in the quietest, meekest voice they’d ever heard come out of her, "I know you want to go home, but… But please, go upstairs now." 

“You know we can’t do that,” Peter said softly. 

“I promise I will take good care of you here," she said, clasping her hands and straightening her back. "I know we do not have much, but...we can have a good life." A tiny smile appeared. “We could be like… like a family.”

Peter sighed. “Toriel, I think Harry and I would love that more than anything. And if we didn’t have people on the Surface who cared about us, too… and a city that needed us… we’d be more than ready to take you up on that offer.” He swallowed. “But we do. And we have to go home. I’m sorry.”

The smile faded back into a frown. "Why are you making this so difficult?” she asked in frustration. “Please, go upstairs." 

“Toriel, we love you,” Harry said. “You saved our lives. You gave us so much. Do you really think we’re doing this to hurt you?” 

The woman gazed at them in silence now, and they gazed back. They were done talking; they’d said all they could say. Now, all they could do was wait, and see what Toriel ultimately decided to do. 

After what felt like ages upon ages, she finally let out a large, heaving sigh. "Pathetic, is it not?” she said ruefully, laughing the slightest bit bleakly. “I cannot save even a single child." Peter opened his mouth, but she held her hand up and sighed again. "No...I understand. You would just be unhappy trapped down here. The Ruins are very small once you get used to them. It would not be right for you to grow up in a place like this. And, besides… you said you have people waiting for you on the Surface. It would not be right for me to keep you from them.” Toriel lifted her hand again to idly brush her ear, and she sniffed quietly. “I became so fearful of living without someone to love… that I let that get in the way of doing what I know in my heart to be the right thing. My expectations...my loneliness...my fear...for you, my children, I will put them aside."

She took a few strides forward, crossing the gap to meet Peter and Harry. With tears in her eyes, she reached forward and wrapped them both up in a large hug. Immediately, their bodies relaxed, and they put their arms around her in joyful relief.

“Mom,” Harry sighed, and then he flinched at what he’d said. 

_ God, how embarrassing. _

“I-I mean-”

Toriel looked down at him and cracked a wobbly smile.

“My child,” she said, brushing a hand through his hair, “just hearing you say that has filled my soul with happiness.” She looked between the two of them, and her face turned contrite. “But I did not act like a mother at all just now,” she said remorsefully, lowering her head. “I did something terrible. I  _ hurt  _ you. And I am so, so sorry. Do you think that you can ever forgive me?” 

“‘Course,” Peter said, reaching up and patting her arm. “Of course we do, Toriel. Good people can make mistakes and still be good people. Heaven knows I’m a prime example of that.” He chuckled a little. “You were scared. And hurt. And sad. And I wanna say sorry again for not talking this out with you way, way earlier. I can’t help but feel like if we did, none of this would’ve happened.” He sighed.

“Thank you, my child. But, even so,” Toriel said, “I nearly made the worst mistake of my life. I do not think I could live with myself if… if…” She shook her head. “Let’s not think about that anymore.” Placing her hands on each of their shoulders, she continued, “If you truly wish to leave the Ruins...I will not stop you."

"Thank you," Peter said gratefully. The weight in his chest finally loosened some, allowing air to flow a little more freely. "We're so sorry, Toriel. We love you, we always will. And, y’know, what Har and I were trying to say back there -- we meant it. We can come back and visit, every week if you’d like! We’ll bring games, a-and Harry can play you his piano compositions, and we’ll have lots of fun! You can even come visit us in the city, if you want to!” He beamed up at her, but was surprised to find the woman wearing a sad smile and slowly shaking her head. 

"Thank you,” she said warmly, patting him lightly on the head. “But… that will not be possible, I’m afraid.”

“What?” Peter asked, utterly bamboozled.

“Why not?!” exclaimed Harry.

Toriel simply continued to smile sadly. “I cannot explain properly. But…when you leave," she said, "please do not come back. I hope you understand." 

Peter and Harry were stricken.  _ Not come back?  _ She didn’t...  _ want  _ them to come back? Even if they could find a safer way to get back under the mountain? 

_ It would be too much for her,  _ Peter realized suddenly, feeling the weight wrap right around his heart again.  _ It would break her heart to feel like she’s losing us again, and again, and again.  _ Peter took her hand in his and squeezed lightly.

“Alright, Toriel,” he said. “We understand.”

Harry wanted to protest and say that  _ no,  _ he  _ didn’t  _ understand, but that wouldn’t be completely accurate. As soon as he saw Peter’s expression change from bewilderment to reluctant acceptance, he too had understood the woman’s wishes. And even if it didn’t make sense to  _ him,  _ he would respect her right to protect her own heart.

"We'll miss you, Toriel," he said, offering his best “I’m-not-heartbroken-right-now” smile. He was pretty sure some of that sadness leaked into it, though, no matter how hard he tried. Toriel embraced them again tightly, then took a step back, tears in her eyes once more. 

"Goodbye, my children. I love you… and I’ll miss you so very much." She began walking away, head held high with her natural grace, pausing only at the edge of the corridor to look back at them one last time. “Please… be good. Promise me you’ll always be good.” 

“We promise, Toriel,” said the two in unison.

They waved to her, and she gave them a half-smile before turning the corner and vanishing from sight. They waited silently for a few moments, just listening to her fading footsteps echoing in the corridor, until they finally became inaudible. Now, it seemed, Toriel was well and truly gone from their lives.

Fighting back tears of his own, Peter said, “Well, pal, guess there’s only one thing to do now, and that’s to go forward. Hm?”

“Yeah,” Harry murmured, still glancing back every so often toward the spot where Toriel had disappeared. “I guess you’re right.” He nodded to himself, and forced his eyes to turn away from the bend in the hall. “No, you’re definitely right. We have to keep moving. For Toriel.”

“Right.”

Peter and Harry turned their attention to the large purple door. Peter placed one palm on it and took a deep breath to ready himself and quiet his thoughts, slowly letting it out through his nose. Then, he gave it a heave with his shoulder, and the behemoth creaked open. Another corridor greeted them, although this one stretched off into darkness that held nothing but the unknown.

Though their hearts were heavy, the boys tried to keep their spirits up as they took that fateful step through the door. 

“I wonder how long this goes on for,” Harry said after they’d gone on in relative silence for a few minutes. “It doesn’t seem to be getting any brighter.”

“Yeah, good question,” Peter agreed. “I’m sure we’ll get to the end soon, though. This is definitely the exit to the rest of the Underground; Toriel said so.”

Sure enough, only a few moments later saw them entering a larger room reminiscent of the first few open spaces they’d fallen down in. And like that first area, much to their dismay, there was a familiar, smiling, flowery face peering up at them from within a circle of light. 

“ _ Oh God!”  _ Harry yelped, throwing himself back so harshly that he had to pinwheel his arms to keep upright. Flowey cackled, clearly delighted by the display.

" _ You _ !" Peter exclaimed furiously. “I thought Toriel scared you off!” 

Flowey chuckled and raised an eyebrow, and in his usual infuriating fashion, refused to give a straight answer, simply replying, “Clever. Verrrrry clever. You think you're really smart, don't you?"

“What are you talking about?” asked Peter guardedly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

"In this world, it's kill or be killed,” the flower stated menacingly, hunching his stem in a way that really ought not to have been possible. “So, you were able to play by your own rules. You spared the life of  _ one  _ person. I bet you feel really great; you didn't kill anybody!” The cheerful facade of a smile turned spiky with sinister malice. “But what will you do if you meet a relentless killer?" 

Peter and Harry glared down at Flowey.

“We’ll use the skills Toriel taught us,” Peter said firmly. “And I’ll keep us out of danger. We’re going to be fine. You can’t scare us away from doing what we need to do.”

"Oooh, I don’t think so,” Flowey replied, grinning now with all his teeth. “I don’t think that’s true at all. I think you’ll die. You'll die and you'll die and you'll die!!” He cackled again, spitting out, "Until you tire of trying! What will you do then? Will you kill out of frustration? Or will you give up entirely on this world, and let ME inherit the power to control it?” He closed his mouth, settling to turn the corners up in a nasty smirk. “You see…I am the  _ prince  _ of this world's future." 

“I think you’re crazy,” Peter interjected, crossing his arms with a scowl. “And you’re wrong. We’re not gonna die, and we’re not gonna kill. We’d  _ never  _ do anything like that. I swore on my uncle’s grave that I’d be a protector of the innocent, and, as much as it’s sometimes hard for me to reconcile, even those who  _ aren’t  _ so innocent deserve basic human decency.” He shook his head. “Sometimes fighting is unavoidable, but I’m going to do everything in my power to ensure I never take a life.”

“Th-That goes for me, too,” Harry said, knitting his eyebrows and baring his teeth slightly. “So why don’t you p-piss off, huh? Or are you gonna try to kill us again, just like last time?” Harry instantly regretted saying that. Even risking putting the thought in the deranged little flower’s head could prove fatal now that Toriel was out of the picture. 

To his overwhelming relief, Flowey just continued to smirk. "Don't worry, my little monarchs,” he cooed, “my plan isn't regicide. This… This is SO much more interesting." With those parting words, he laughed again loudly, then disappeared into the ground. The boys waited a moment or two, but he didn’t reappear. It seemed he really was gone -- at least for now. 

"I don't care what he says," Peter muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets. “It’s not true. We'll never resort to killing. Not in a million years.” Harry nodded quickly.

“God, what an asshole,” he huffed. “He seems to think he knows everything. And what the hell was he talking about, ‘prince’? And ‘monarchs’? He stopped making sense completely.”

“I dunno,” Peter said. “But I get the feeling that nasty flower has a plan, and we’re gonna find it out and  _ stop _ it, whatever it is. Whether we can do it on the way home, or we have to come back, I don’t care; we’re not letting him get his way.” 

“Yeah,” Harry agreed. “That guy’s pissed me off so much. I think it’s time we show him we’re not the cowering kids he met back in the Ruins.” 

“Amen to that, buddy.”

The two clasped hands and shook once, firmly, symbolically marking their promise to put Flowey in his place, whatever it took. Then, with only forward to go, they took their first steps out into the rest of the Underground, leaving the relative comfort and familiarity of the Ruins behind. 


	9. Skele-Puns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking their first steps out into the rest of the Underground, Peter and Harry meet a new, unexpected friend in the shape of a squat skeleton. They also (kind of) meet his brother. Also there's lots of puns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooOO okay I know I'm pretty late this one, sorry!! This past week was super fun, but I also got pretty tired out after New Year's, haha ^^" I hope everyone's having a great start to their 2020! Hopefully I'll be able to get back to a more normal schedule now that the holidays are winding down :)

The boys emerged into a snow-covered forest that seemed to stretch on as far as the eye could see. White, powdery stuff covered each branch of the tall pine trees surrounding them, and at least half a foot of the stuff was on the ground, making it a bit of a slog to walk through. 

“Whoaaa,” Harry murmured, slowly turning himself in a circle. His eyes were wide as they took in the sheer size of the environment. “Holy shit. This is… wild.” 

“You’re not kiddin’,” Peter agreed, brushing his hand along a bush and shivering lightly at the cold snow as it met his fingers. “I can’t believe all this is _ underneath _a mountain. A single mountain!” The very thought of it staggered him. The Ruins had been mind-boggling enough on their own, but knowing that possibly an entire world resided down here, untouched for some unknown amount of time… That was incredible. 

As he pulled his hand away, about to turn and continue down the path, Peter suddenly noticed something rather odd: what looked like the lens of a camera, poking just barely out of the leaves of the bush. That was strange.

“What the…?” 

He peered into the lens and blinked a couple of times, unsure of what to make of it. What reason could there be for a camera to be inside a bush in some freezing forest miles underground? Was someone..._ watching _ them? 

Before he could decide what to do with it, if anything, Harry made a noise with his teeth that sounded like chattering. It turned out that was exactly what it was, as Harry pulled his sweater further down and hugged himself tightly, shivering lightly with the cold. 

"Brr," he mumbled. "It's cold out here. Wish I would’ve bought a jacket or something." 

"Yeah," Peter agreed. “Up there it might be a nice, crisp autumn day, but it looks like down here it’s already straight up winter.” He shivered a little himself, but he wasn’t nearly as cold as Harry probably was; being a space heater of a human being sometimes had its perks. “I hope we can find some place warmer soon." 

As they continued walking, following along the path between the frost-covered trees, the boys suddenly began to hear strange noises. It was hard to pinpoint, but it sounded kind of like… whispering. Whispering combined with a low hum, like that buzz that arises whenever all the people in a room are talking at once. Harry felt a cold sweat seep down his neck. 

"Peter?" he whispered. "Do you hear that?"

"I hear _ something _," the other boy whispered back, glancing around at the copse of pine. All he could see between the trees was darkness, but his spider sense was starting to poke lightly at the back of his brain. Not enough to fully raise an alarm, but enough to say, ‘Hey, dummy, maybe keep an eye on things.’ "L-Let's keep going,” he said, squaring his shoulders. “We’ll keep an ear out for anything else suspicious, but we’ve gotta keep moving forward.” 

Though a bit reluctant, Harry did agree. They couldn’t just turn back now, after hearing some funky noises; not after everything they’d promised Toriel and put her through. Spooky forest or no, they were going to forge on ahead. 

They ventured forward, each cautiously listening to the natural ambience around them, straining to pick up on any other abnormalities in the air. Peter also kept tabs on the intensity of his spider sense. It wasn’t rising in urgency, at least, but it wasn’t dimming either. _ Hmm _.

Eventually, after a few minutes of walking through this new, unfamiliar place, they came upon a small bridge with a gate on it. Strangely, the gate had slats far too wide to actually prevent anyone from walking through; it looked as if there was no point to it being there at all.

“That’s weird,” Harry said suspiciously. “Who’d make a gate with openings that large?”

“Dunno,” Peter replied, inspecting it closer. “Maybe it’s meant to be for cars instead of people?” They hadn’t seen any cars down here so far, though, so that was probably an unlikely option. What else could it be, though? It just didn’t make logical sense.

“Guess there’s no point in wondering,” Peter said finally, shrugging his shoulders. “Might as well cross through and continue on our way.”

As they were about to cross, though, they suddenly heard soft footsteps plodding through the snow behind them; at the same time, Peter’s spider sense became more apparent, rising from a faint buzz to a low, steady hum. Both boys froze immediately, not daring to move or even breathe. They just stood there with their backs to whatever was approaching, waiting as the steps slowly got closer and closer. Peter’s extra sense was pounding now, throbbing like a migraine as the noise stopped presumably just inches from the two of them. 

_ Oh, God, _ Peter thought, closing his eyes. _ Maybe Toriel was right. After all that, we only made it a few yards away… _

A low, gravelly voice spoke up from behind them, its cadence slow and solemn. 

"Humans. Don't you know how to greet a new pal?" 

Peter and Harry were too shaken to turn around, even knowing that something -- possibly a very dangerous creature -- lurked right behind them. They both silently thought that perhaps _ not _looking was a better idea; at least they’d die without having to look at whatever struck the blow.

It seemed that the thing that was behind them had different ideas, though. In that same, low tone, the voice instructed, "Don’t be impolite. Turn around and shake my hand." 

Peter and his friend looked at one another, their eyes wide and pupils the size of dots. There was nowhere to run to, really; if they tried to get across the bridge, one of them could get snagged from behind. Besides, running blindly ahead could be just as dangerous as the thing that had approached them. They didn’t know what lay along the path. There could be any number of other monsters waiting in the shadows to ambush them, or traps set in the deep snow, or even something they hadn’t considered yet. No, blundering onward with this creature chasing them wouldn’t be smart. It appeared they would have to face their impending doom after all. 

Well… If this was what was to be, it would be, Peter supposed. At the very least, he’d die by his best friend’s side. And not from one of the psycho costumed bastards on the Surface. That was _ somewhat _of a comfort. A Somewhat.

The two nodded imperceptibly to each other. Slowly, Peter and Harry turned around, mentally preparing themselves for whatever horror they would be faced with. A figure obscured in shadow stuck out its hand, and it waited like that expectantly. It didn’t make any other attempt to move; it just stood there, holding out its hand, anticipating a reciprocation. 

“O-Okay,” Peter murmured.

Resigning himself to whatever fate would now befall him, Peter lifted his own hand to shake that of the mysterious creature’s. Instead of being incinerated, or dissolved, or simply flipped over onto his back as he was sort of expecting to be, there was instead a loud noise reminiscent of flatulence that blared from the stranger’s hand. It went on for a good ten seconds, just a loud, obnoxious fart noise, until it finally petered off, leaving only a faint echo among the trees. Peter and Harry blinked twice. The fact that nothing had torn them limb from limb yet was a good sign, but whatever it was that had just happened was still taking a bit of time to process. 

Thankfully for the confused teens, they wouldn’t have to ponder if this was some sort of cruel joke for much longer. The mysterious figure pulled its hand back and stepped into the light, revealing itself to be… a skeleton. A short, stocky skeleton dressed in a blue sweatshirt, black shorts, and some very fuzzy-looking pink slippers. It came up to about Peter’s hip-height, and as it stared up into their bewildered faces it was grinning at them from ear to ear. Well, if it _ had _ears it would have been, anyway.

"Heheh, the old whoopee-cushion-in-the-hand trick!" the skeleton laughed, and his voice was much lighter than it had been moments ago (although it retained the deep quality). The boys noticed that as he spoke, his mouth never once moved from its closed smiling position, yet they could hear each word as clear as day. "It's ALWAYS funny." 

Peter and Harry just stood in place, staring rather dumbly at the little skeleton. Peter’s spider sense had gone dead silent as soon as the monster stepped fully into the light. This...this _ was _a monster, right? Peter studies the creature in front of them and nodded slightly. This was certainly a monster, there was no doubt about that; what else would he be, after all? Skeletons weren’t something you saw on the Surface, with the exception of plastic ones hanging in lab rooms and doctor’s offices. So, yeah, undoubtedly a creature akin to the others specifically residing in the Underground. 

However, that begged the question: was this monster a friend, like Toriel? Or a foe, like the nefarious Flowey? His initial introduction had been unnerving, but he’d undergone a pretty jarring shift after shaking hands. _ Now _he was speaking as if he hadn’t just nearly induced an embarrassing loss of bowel control in the both of them.

“Uh,” Peter said, once again falling back on his incredible expanse of intelligent words. “Are you… going to kill us?” Lame question, he knew, but it was all his whirling brain could think of.

The skeleton began to laugh, doubling over,?putting his hands on his stomach (_ did he even HAVE a stomach?), _and squinching his eye sockets up in delight. Peter didn’t even begin to try and comprehend how that could be possible; at this point, he felt it was probably better not to question things about monsters. 

“Kill you?” the skeleton repeated. “Nah, kid, you got the wrong guy for that. But if you’re lookin’ for someone who’s into that kinda thing, I bet you’d _ love _my brother’s boss. She’s all about that life.”

“What?!” Peter yelped. “No, we’re not _ looking _for someone to kill us! What’re you, crazy?” 

“Oh, good,” the skeleton said, straightening up and wiping a bony hand across his brow. “I was gonna be worried ‘bout you for a sec there, if you were.” He walked a little closer, rolling his neck before looking back up at the two. "Anyway, the name’s Sans," he said casually. "Sans the skeleton. I’m not interested in hurting you, buuuut I _ am _actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now.”

“Really?” Harry asked waveringly, speaking up for the first time since Sans had approached. “H-How come?” So far Sans seemed to be mostly harmless, aside from the decidedly very unfunny joke he’d pulled, but Harry wasn’t about to let his guard down that easily.

“You don’t know?” Sans asked.The boys shook their heads, and he shrugged. “Well, ‘cause most monsters aren’t really super welcoming to your kind, heh. The Royal Guard has outposts set up all around the Underground to watch out for ‘em. We’re supposed to catch any humans we find and ship ‘em off to the Capital.” 

“_ What? _” Harry yelped, stumbling back a little. “Seriously??”

“Yup,” Sans said. “But...y'know...I don't really care about capturing anybody.” He rubbed his skull and looked briefly around at the tall trees, some of which stretched off into the darkness, possibly to the top of the cavern. “It’s a whole lotta work, see, and I really do _ not _ like work. It’s all a bit too much for my easy-going lifestyle.” Sans chuckled a bit. “Now, my brother, Papyrus...he's a human-hunting _ fanatic _. He joined the Royal Guard a while ago, and ever since then all he’s been able to talk about is capturing a human for the king. He’s really got a passion for it, y’know?”

Peter and Harry shared a _ yikes _look. 

“He’s got a passion for hunting down humans?” Harry asked with a frown, bristling. “What kind of passion is _ that? _” 

“Hey, it’s a living,” Sans said with another shrug. “He hasn’t been very successful at it so far, but he’s trying his best.” The two pinpricks of light deep in his eye sockets lit up suddenly as he glanced past the two human boys. "Hey," he said, "actually, I think that's him right over there! Oh, man, he’d totally flip if he saw you guys.”

“Oh, no,” Harry whimpered, wringing his hands. “Oh, God. Oh, _ God, _w-what do we do?” He looked back down at Sans accusingly. “You’re gonna turn us over, aren’t you? Well?” 

Sans laughed again and waved his hand. 

“What? No,” he said, “no way. You got me all wrong, buddy. Listen, listen, I got an idea.” He motioned toward the bridge and the woefully inadequate gate. “Go through this gate thingy. Yeah, go right through. My bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone.”

Peter glanced between Sans and the gate several times. He was doing his best to calculate the probability of this chill-talking skeleton actually being a duplicitous, scumbag asshole. They’d made the wrong call with Flowey before; he didn’t want to risk that again. 

But… his spider sense had completely vanished as soon as Sans had revealed himself, hadn’t it? That had to count for something. Sure, it had buzzed at him when the skeleton came up from behind, but once he’d fully come into the light, all discomfort from his sixth sense just… disappeared. Peter wasn’t sure that had ever happened before. Maybe he’d somehow influenced it with his own emotions, psyched it up until it anticipated danger where there actually was none. Was something like that even _ possible? _He supposed it could be, maybe.

Harry was far less hesitant to distrust, crossing his arms and scowling.

“No _ way _,” he huffed. “Why should we trust you? We just met you! And you admitted that you’re out here looking for humans to catch! No, absolutely not. We’re not going anywhere with you.” He turned his back on the squat skeleton and flipped some hair out of his eyes. 

Sans didn’t seem too bothered, slipping his hands into his pockets and rolling his neck again. “Hey, c’mon, don’t get your panties in a twist, bud. I thought we were pals now! Your friend shook my hand and everything.” 

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Harry sniffed. “You’re acting all nice, but you could be leading us right into a trap! He’s your brother, after all, isn’t he? Why wouldn’t you wanna help him?” He glanced over his shoulder at Sans. “Sorry, but we don’t trust that easily anymore.”

Peter bit his lip as he looked from his friend to Sans. Harry did have a good point. Trusting too easily was often Peter’s own fatal flaw, so to speak, when dealing with superhero matters. But he just couldn’t shake the feeling that this small, oddly-dressed skeleton with a vaguely New York accent didn’t actually mean them any harm. If he really was going to trust his spider sense, then that pointed toward Sans having no ill intent -- at least for now.

“Hang on, Harry,” Peter said hesitantly. Harry blinked and turned back to his friend with a question in his eyes. 

“What?”

Peter took a deep breath. “I think… maybe we shouldn’t write him off so quickly.” Harry’s mouth dropped open, and he hurriedly continued before the other boy could object. “H-Hold on!! Hold on. There’s a reason I think we should trust him.” 

“Yeah?” Harry asked guardedly, shifting his weight from leg to leg. “What is it?” He wanted to believe his friend wholeheartedly, but he’d need a concrete reason first before following this relative stranger anywhere.

“Hey, thanks, kid,” Sans said cheerfully. “Maybe you can help convince your buddy I’m not out to get ya’, huh?”

Peter tented his fingers and looked back to Harry, said, “When we started hearing the footsteps, my, uh...” His eyes darted to Sans for a second. “I had a _ sense _that we might be in danger,” he continued, settling on as vague a reference to his powers as possible. Harry narrowed his eyes.

“Uh-huh,” he said. “So doesn’t that mean we _ shouldn’t _trust him?”

“Hang on, hang on. As soon as we turned around and actually saw him,” Peter explained, “that sense just...vanished. _ Poof. _Completely gone, not a trace left. And I don’t think I’ve ever had that happen before.” He raised his hands helplessly. “I feel like there has to be a reason for that, you know?”

He could tell that Harry was mulling it over by the look on his face: pursed lips, eyes even narrower than beforehand, nose scrunched up and somewhere between distaste and reluctance. Finally, when Peter felt his own puppy-dog expression about to crack, Harry gave a defeated little sigh.

“Alright. Fine,” he muttered. “Fine, fine. If that really is true, then maybe…” He gave Sans another once-over. Sans continued to display his unwavering grin and leaned in expectantly. “...Maybe there is some grounds to trust him after all.” The boy was quick to add, “_ Some _ is the key word here. That doesn’t mean I’m not still a little suspicious. If he ends up betraying us to his brother and we get sent off to be experimented on or eaten or _ whatever, _I’m blaming it on your sp-” Harry coughed. “-your faulty sense.”

Peter smiled and gave his friend another one-armed side hug. “Understood, buddy! Don’t worry, though; I’m very rarely wrong with these things. I have a knack for judging character.” 

That was only somewhat true, but Peter had been right a little more than half the time when choosing to trust someone, so he still counted that as a knack. 

“Hey, sweet,” said Sans. “Glad ya’ came around.” 

“Yeah, yeah. You’d better be as chill as you’re acting, or I’m gonna be really pissed.”

Sans held up his right hand, placing the other on where his heart would be. “I solemnly swear that I am indeed as chill as I seem,” he declared, closing his eye sockets in a feat that no skeleton should be able to accomplish. Harry raised an eyebrow.

“And you won’t just shove us into a trap?”

“I also promise I won’t turn ya’ over to my brother, or do any type of non-consensual shoving,” Sans agreed. He sidled over to Harry again and held his hand out, grinning up into his face.

“Here, let’s shake on it; I promise I took the whoopee cushion off.” 

Harry stared down at him for a good five seconds before begrudgingly reaching out and completing the handshake. Another loud, obnoxious noise immediately emanated from their joined hands. Harry released the skeleton’s hand and dropped his own limply to his side, taking a deep breath in through his nose as Sans collapsed into laughter.

“Heheh, sorry, kid. Just couldn’t resist!” He did finger guns at the teen before striding past him and beckoning for the two to follow across the bridge. “C’mere, I got a good idea. Your minds are gonna be blown.”

Peter chuckled and began to walk after him, still amused over the second incarnation of the “whoopee-cushion-in-the-hand trick”. He wasn’t quite sure why he found it so funny, but dammit, something about this little skeleton dude made at least half the things he said and did hilarious. Maybe he’d have to take notes; his own joke well, while still lustrous and free-flowing, could use some fresh sources. 

Harry fell into step beside the spider-boy, and as they went, he leaned down close to his ear and muttered, “If he does that again I’m gonna clock him.”

“Hey, you kinda had that one coming, Harry,” Peter admitted, and he laughed when Harry elbowed him in the side. “Come on, tell me I’m wrong!!”

It didn’t take long for Sans to stop, holding up a hand to tell the boys to slow down as well. They were just on the other side of the gate with the weirdly spaced holes, and just in front of them they could see a rickety-looking guard stand set a little way off the snowy path. And right next to the stand, _ incredibly _out of place even in this world of talking skeletons and genocidal flowers, were two bulky lamps.

_ What. _

“Hey, Sans?” Peter asked, unable to take his eyes off the light fixtures.

“Yeah, bud?”

“Why...why are there lamps out here in the snow?”

Sans gave Peter a hearty clap on the back (which ended up being closer to his tailbone on account of the skeleton’s height in relation to his own) and gestured toward the lamps with his head. 

“It’s best not to question these things too much, my friend. Sometimes there’s no real _ answer _, y’know?” 

Peter didn’t know, but he forced himself to nod.

“Okay.”

“However, there is a reason I’m-” He paused as he noticed a flash of reddish orange off in the distance, getting closer by the second. “Oh! There he is! My bro’s coming,” Sans said quickly, and he began to push Peter and Harry toward the two lamps. “Quick, get behind the conveniently-shaped lamps. This is exactly why it’s good these babies are here; there’s no way Pap’ll see you behind them.” 

“Are you serious?” Harry asked. “You think we can hide behind _ lamps?” _

“Not just any lamps! _ Conveniently-shaped _lamps,” Sans corrected, giving them one more push so that they stumbled into place directly behind them. “Okay, good. Now, stay there until I give the word, alright?”

“Wait!” Harry yelped. “How do we-”

But Sans was already strolling nonchalantly to the middle of the path, hands in his pockets once again and whistling a slightly off-key tune. He did turn his head briefly to wink at the boys, though, before looking back down the road.

Behind the lamps, Harry turned to Peter and whispered, “What the _ hell _did we get ourselves into?”

“It’ll be fine, don’t worry,” Peter whispered back, although even he had to admit that he was a tad nervous about Sans’s brother showing up. He’d been described as a ‘human-hunting fanatic’; those words certainly didn’t conjure up images of friendly neighbor-types. In fact, the only thing that came into Peter’s head when he heard that phrase was Kraven the Hunter. Now that guy was a _ true _human-hunting fanatic. If Papyrus was anything like him, maybe he and Harry were in more trouble than he thought.

_ Hopefully Sans will keep his word and help us out here, _ he prayed. _ He seemed genuine enough. I hope I was right to trust him… _

The teens watched, holding their breath, as another monster entered the area. This was him: Papyrus, Sans’s brother, human-hunting fanatic. Possibly the most dangerous creature they’d faced so far, if his personality matched his fearsome description. 

And yet… the skeleton that came bounding down the snow-covered path, round white chest piece looking like a pigeon, dark orange scarf whipping in the air behind him, looked exactly the opposite of what Peter and Harry had been expecting. _ This was the fearsome human hunter? _

The boys shared a wide-eyed look.

The taller, lankier skeleton came skidding to a halt in front of Sans, and his neon boots kicked up some snow to the sides. Sans raised a hand in greeting as he looked up to his brother.

“‘Sup, bro?" he asked casually.

Peter and Harry were not prepared for the voice that came out of the other monster’s mouth.

"You know what's 'sup', brother!" Papyrus exclaimed in the most shrill, high-pitched voice they’d possibly ever heard. Peter's first thought upon hearing Papyrus speak was that he sounded almost exactly like Skeletor, that old He-Man villain, and he had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. Beside him, Harry wore a look of pure bewilderment.

"It's been eight days, and you still haven't re-calibrated. Your. _ Puzzles _!" Papyrus barked, throwing his mittened hands out to the sides. "You just hang around outside your station! What are you even doing?!" 

"Staring at these lamps," Sans said, half-turning his head to look at where Peter and Harry were hiding. "They're really cool. Do you wanna look?"

Peter sucked in a breath, and Harry gritted his teeth.

“_ I told you,” _he hissed to Peter. Peter held up a hand and shook his head minutely.

“Wait, wait,” he said, voice just barely audible. “Hang on. Wait.” His stomach had clenched tightly at the shorter skeleton’s words, but it loosened just the slightest bit when he saw Sans shoot another fast wink in their direction. “Just wait,” he repeated to Harry, forcing his own breathing to regulate. “I think this is some kind of...reverse psychology thing.”

Harry made a discontented noise in the back of his throat, but he grudgingly crossed his arms and pressed himself closer to the lamp in front of him, continuing to watch the scene unfold.

"_ NO _ !" Papyrus yelled, stamping his foot hard. "I don't have time for looking at lamps! What if a human comes through here?! I want to be ready!!!” He spun in a quick circle, looking all around him as he did. “I will be the one! I _ must _ be the one! I will capture a human! Then, I, the Great Papyrus, will get all the things I utterly deserve!"

He was getting all worked up now, excitedly marching around near the guard station and throwing his fists in the air dramatically to punctuate his statement.

"Respect...recognition...I will finally be able to join the Royal Guard! People will ask, to be, my _ friend _! I will bathe in a shower of kisses every morning!!" 

He paused for a moment, apparently out of breath. After watching this display, Peter and Harry came to the conclusion that Papyrus was likely not much of an actual threat — but he was pretty entertaining. Harry, for his part, still didn’t _ trust _the guy - he did still want to capture humans, after all, and that was kind of a dick move - but he felt less anxious than he had a little while ago.

"Hmm," Sans said, tilting his head. "Maybe these lamps will help you out with that, Pap.” 

“SANS!" Papyrus hollered, placing his hands on his bony hips. "You are not helping!! You _ lazybones _! All you do is sit and boondoggle! You get lazier and lazier every day!" 

"Hey, take it easy,” said Sans in a mock-offended tone. “I've gotten a TON of work done today, bro. A SKELE-ton." He winked at his brother, then turned again to wink at the boys as well. 

Peter made a silent chortle - he couldn’t help it; puns were a comedic art form after his own heart. Harry wasn’t as amused, but he did feel himself relax just a little more. So far, nothing catastrophic had happened. Some questionable puns were made, but aside from that, they seemed to be in the clear so far. If all they’d have to deal with from Sans were dumb jokes, his presence probably wouldn’t be _ that _bad. 

"Come on, you're smiling," Sans ribbed, nudging his brother with an elbow. 

"I am and I hate it!" Papyrus huffed. He turned around and slumped a bit, shoulders hanging forward, and sighed. "Why does someone as great as me have to do so much just to get some recognition?" he whined. “Sometimes it feels like it’s all too much.”

"Wow, sounds like you're really working yourself...down to the bone." Sans gave his double wink again. 

"Ugh!" Papyrus mumbled, putting a hand to his head in exasperation. "I’m through talking with you. I will attend to my puzzles. As for your work?” For once, a more mischievous look came over the taller skeleton’s face, his narrow jaw pulling up into a cheeky smile. Peter leaned forward a bit in anticipation; clearly he was preparing something epic. “Put a little more..._ BACKBONE _ into it!"

Peter put a hand to his heart and bowed his head in silent awe.

_ God, that was cosmic. _

With his retaliation completed, Papyrus cackled with laughter and raced away down the path he’d come. Just a few seconds later, he slowly approached again, stopping halfway to the guard station, and gave one final "Heh." Then he was gone again, apparently for good. Well, for now, at least.

Once he was sure his brother wasn’t going to pop in again, Sans turned back to the lamps and waved his hand. "Okay, you can come out now," he told the boys. 

Peter and Harry picked their way through the snow back to the path, Harry brushing his sweater off while Peter shook out his hair to free it of any little flakes that had settled there. “Hey, thanks for not ratting us out,” he said, offering a smile to Sans. “We weren’t so sure for a second there, but you really held to your promise.”

“Ahh, it’s nothin’,” Sans replied. “You weren't in any danger, anyway. Papyrus likes to talk a lot, but he’s harmless. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him swat a fly.” 

“Hmm,” Harry mumbled. “Maybe. But I’m still not really willing to take any risks.”

“I getcha, bud. Listen, you oughta get going. He might come back. And if he does...you'll have to sit through more of my hilarious jokes."

Peter grinned and chuckled, and Harry rolled his eyes, but there was a slight hint of a smile turning up the corners of his mouth.

"Oh, God forbid,” he said. “Yeah, we’d better get going.” He stretched his arms out above his head and rolled his neck, then turned toward the path that led on through the Underground. Neither he nor Peter knew where it would end up leading, but they had to press on no matter what. “Well...thanks, Sans. Appreciate the help.” 

“No prob, bucko. You kids be safe, y’hear?”

“We will,” Peter said cheerfully. “Thanks again.”

The two started on their way, both giving a wave to Sans as they turned their backs to the guard station. However, before they could get very far, they heard some hesitant footsteps behind them. Silence. Then Sans suddenly called, "Actually, hey...sorry to bother ya', but can you guys maybe do me a favor?" 

“I knew it,” Harry muttered, stopping in his tracks and shoving his hands deep in his pockets. “I knew there had to be some kind of catch! It’d never be this easy.”

“Hold on, let’s hear what he has to say,” Peter said. Harry grumbled again, but he and Peter turned back around to meet Sans’s gaze.

"What's the favor?" Harry asked warily. 

The skeleton shuffled a slippered foot and scratched at his skull. "I was thinking...my brother's been kind of down lately. He's never seen a human before, and seeing you two just might make his day."

“What?! _ Hell no!” _ Harry seethed, whipping one of his hands from his pockets and pointing a harsh finger at Sans. “Are you nuts? Why the hell would we do that? I thought you were trying to help us _ not _get captured!” So much for a new friend. Was he going to pull a Flowey now, too?

“Whoa, whoa, easy, pal!” Sans exclaimed. “Geez, I’m not tryna get you captured. I told you, I’m not about that life. And Pap isn’t gonna do anything to you, I guarantee it. He’s… look, he’s passionate, right? But he’s not a bad guy. He doesn’t really wanna hurt anyone. He talks a big game, like I said, but when it comes down to it, well…” He chuckled a little. “Somethin’ tells me he might end up trying to be your friend, more than anything else.” Seeing their maintained incredulity, he added, "Don't worry, he's not dangerous, even if he tries to be."

Peter and Harry looked at each other, communicating a number of things with just a few raises of the eyebrows and changing of eye positions. That was a handy little trick that came with being best friends for eight years.

Finally, with a great sigh of relinquishment, Harry hung his head. "Oh...fine," he mumbled. “Whatever. I guess if you’re still telling the truth, it won’t be the end of the world.” Peter nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, we’ll give it a try, Sans,” he said. “Just, uh… maybe you could do your best to keep him from becoming _ too _excited about us, huh? Just in case?”

Sans gave him a thumbs-up.

“You got it, pally. Seriously, though, you’re gonna see real soon that he’s a super cool guy. His interests aren’t my own, but that doesn’t mean I don’t support him with everything I got.” He clapped his hands together once. “Man, he’s gonna be so excited just to see a couple ‘a real live humans. Thanks a million, guys. You’re really gonna make his whole week.”

With a little salute to Peter and Harry, he began to stroll in the opposite direction that Papyrus had gone. Peter and Harry tilted their heads.

“Uh, didn’t he say he’d...be up ahead?” Harry asked.

“He did say that,” Peter affirmed. “He, uh… he did say that.”

Harry nodded slowly. “Hm.”

“Maybe he had to go do something first. I’m sure we’ll meet up with him soon,” Peter said, shaking off the brief confusion that had taken him over. “C’mon, buddy, let’s go give Papyrus his first sighting of real human beings.” He walked confidently off along the winding, snowy path, trying to convince himself that everything would be fine. Sans knew his brother better than anyone else, so it was likely that his description of Papyrus was pretty accurate. Right? And so far he hadn’t done anything to put them in danger, so they had a decent track record at the moment.

Yeah. Everything was gonna be fine.

"I can't believe we agreed to this," Harry griped as he walked beside Peter. "He'd better not be lying. I’m not in the mood to face down another asshole." For Harry, the one back in the Ruins had been enough. 

_ I may never look at buttercup flowers the same way again. _

At least Flowey had been balanced out by Toriel and the other monsters they’d met, though. Harry hoped that the ratio of assholes to non-assholes was the same out here as it was back there.

"Yeah,” Peter said, laughing lightly. “But y’know, I think he's right. From what we saw earlier, his brother doesn't seem _ too _menacing. He seems more like a goofy sidekick than a hardened villain, if you know what I mean.” He arched his back as they continued along, letting out a large yawn right afterward. “And if need be, I’m confident we can find a way around him,” he added. “We’ve got more than enough tools in our Arsenal of Peace.”

“That’s an oxymoron,” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah, it sure is, buddy. It sure is. And that’s what makes it funny.” 

“I guess you’ve got a point there.”

As they continued on down the path, light sprinklings of snowflakes falling down all around them, Peter allowed himself a small smile. They’d only just left the Ruins, but already he felt a sense of pride in how far they’d come. They’d avoided capture, made another potential friend, and might even have another lined up, if what Sans predicted came true. All in all, not too bad a start to their time without Toriel.

That didn’t mean they didn’t still miss her, though.


	10. 'Snow' Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys continue on their way and come across a dejected monster named Snowdrake. After helping him regain some confidence in his comedic abilities, they venture further, where they run into Sans and Papyrus once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually made the deadline this week!! I'm glad things have mostly gotten back to normal with the schedule for this story, haha. I'm considering moving it up one day, to Saturday, but we'll see how that goes later on down the line. If anything, that might be when school starts up again. But for now, I hope you enjoy!!

Upon entering the next clearing, Harry and Peter spotted another yellow star, twinkling amongst the shining snow. 

Peter was mostly unfazed by them now. They were still a mystery where their purpose and origin were concerned, but after coming across them first in the Ruins, and now out here as well, he felt that his working hypothesis of “stars = good” (or at least “stars = harmless”) was pretty close to the truth. Without much hesitation this time, he went up to the star and touched it. The deep voice boomed, "The convenience of those lamps still fills you with determination." 

“Whatever that means," Harry muttered. 

“That’s kinda like its catchphrase, I guess,” said Peter as they continued to walk along the packed snow path. There were several footprints indented in the whiteness, increasing in number the further they went, some looking like those of familiar Surface animals, others completely unknown. 

“Maybe. Still pretty weird, though.” 

As the two ambled on, both keeping an eye out for Sans and Papyrus, they suddenly encountered another monster. This one was sitting rather dejectedly by the side of the path, its bird-like beak pointed at the ground and its wings tucked tight by its sides. There was what looked like a large, snowflake-shaped mask covering most of the creature’s face, but the beady eyes were visible on either side of it.

“Whoa,” Peter said excitedly. “Look at that! Another monster!” 

Harry took a step or two back so that he was behind Peter, preferring to look the monster over from a safer distance. “What is it?” he wondered. “And why’s it look so sad?” 

“I dunno. Maybe we can ask it.” 

Before Harry could object, as he greatly wanted to, Peter was already bounding over to the gloomy bird monster.

“Hiya,” he said cheerfully, crouching down beside it in the snow and trying to get a better look at its face. “My buddy and I couldn’t help but notice you’re looking a little down. Anything we can do to help?”

The monster -- who happened to be about the size of a larger small dog -- sniffled and looked up at Peter. Little sparkling crystal tears sat on the edges of its eyes. 

“Ahhh, there’s nothin’ you can do,” it moped, ruffling its feathers a little as it shifted position. “Not unless you can convince my old man that my comedy career ain’t a joke.” 

“Your dad doesn’t like that you’re trying to do comedy?” asked Peter. The monster shook its head.

“No,” he sighed. “He says my jokes aren’t funny. He says they’re terrible! No good at all!” The creature sniffled again. “I just wanna be a comedian like him. He’s the best jokester in the Underground, first-rate, a real funnyman. And to know that he thinks I don’t have what it takes…” It hung its head again.

Peter shared a look with Harry, who had come to stand beside him, and the other boy grimaced in understanding. His own father was less than supportive of his burgeoning interest in pursuing music, so in a way he could relate to this sad little snow-bird-creature. Peter looked back to the monster. “Hey, man,” he said soothingly, “hey. Just ‘cause your dad doesn’t think comedy is right for you doesn’t mean you have to listen to him. What’s your name?”

“...Snowdrake.”

“Snowdrake,” Peter repeated, nodding. “Well, Snowdrake, my pal Harry here-” He reached up to pat Harry’s arm. “-has a similar issue with his dad. But he’s not letting it get him down. Are you, Harry?” 

Harry shifted, a little nervous at being put on the spot as the Snowdrake peered questioningly up at him, but he cleared his throat and replied, “Y-Yeah! See, I really like playing piano, a-and I wanna pursue something along those lines. But my dad owns a pretty big company, and he wants me to run it the same way he did. B-But I really have no interest in that, heh.” He rubbed his neck. “Still, I’m not quitting just because my dad doesn’t approve of what I wanna do. I’m my own person, you know? And you are, too.” 

Snowdrake’s eyes widened slightly, and blinked the tears out of its eyes. “R-Really?” it asked hopefully. “You...You mean that?” 

“Yeah,” Harry promised. “Of course. Family can be tough sometimes, but their thoughts aren’t the be-all-end-all. You’re still ultimately the one in control of your own future.”

He smiled down at the monster despite himself. His unease at first seeing another unknown creature was slowly beginning to dissipate, replaced instead by a flash of kinship. Every monster was different, right? He supposed it might be time to admit that not _ all _of them would be ready to pounce on unsuspecting humans like themselves. Some of them were too preoccupied by their own problems to worry about people who were where they shouldn’t be. And… some of them might genuinely feel amicable toward humans, too, just like Toriel. It certainly wasn’t impossible.

_ Maybe Sans is one of those monsters, _he thought privately, wincing a bit at his rather cold treatment of the skeleton previously. He’d been so afraid to let any other monster in aside from the woman who’d saved them, but so far, most of the other monsters had been just as kind as Toriel, once they warmed up to them a bit. Napstablook, the Froggits, whatever the hell that jelly thing had been… And Sans hadn’t even made any actual moves against them since they’d met. He just seemed like a guy who liked to make others laugh. Trusting too much was a problem, but completely closing himself off from other possible friends, Harry decided, was just as bad. He made a mental promise to himself that he’d try harder not to put up walls so fast going forward. 

“Gosh. Thank you,” Snowdrake said, a smile finally appearing on its beak. “That’s...that’s real nice of you to say.” It scuffed a claw in the snow, as if readying to say something else, and the boys waited expectantly. After a moment or two, it asked sheepishly, “Hey, uh...would you...would you guys mind maybe listening to one or two of my jokes? A-And let me know if you think they’re good or not?” It bounced a little in place. “I-I really wanna try out my material on someone who isn’t my dad.”

“Hey, sure!” Peter exclaimed, settling himself a little more comfortably in the snow. “I love jokes. Lay ‘em on us!” Harry nodded encouragingly, giving Snowdrake a thumbs-up. 

Excitedly, Snowdrake turned around quickly in a circle, then cleared its throat and said, “H-Hey, what’s a Christmas sweater’s favorite song?”

“What?”

“_ Fleece _Navidad!!”

Peter immediately let out a loud, genuine laugh, slapping his leg in glee. “Hey, good one!” Harry shook his head dramatically but had a matching smile on his face. Snowdrake looked just as happy as Peter, and it did a little jig before tossing out another one: “Why did a bunch of strangers walk onto a frozen pond?”

“Why?” asked Harry.

“They figured it was the best way to _ break the ice!” _

“Yes! _ Yes! _ Puns are the highest form of comedy, I _ told you!” _Peter said, smirking up at Harry.

"Ice puns are _ snow _ problem," Snowdrake squawked. The boys chuckled again, and the beaming Snowdrake was practically bursting with joy.

"See!? Laughs! Dad was wrong!" it chirped joyfully.

“Snowdrake,” said Peter once he’d calmed himself down, “don’t let anybody tell you your puns aren’t good, okay? Puns are great. You keep working on them, and you’ll have an audience in no time.” 

“Thank you,” Snowdrake said, giving Peter and Harry a warm smile. “I don’t think I could’ve gotten my confidence back if it wasn’t for you. You really helped me out.” It looked up at Harry and added, “You’d better keep working on your music, too, okay? I-If I can be a comedian, you can be a musician! We won’t let our dads tell us what’s what.” 

Harry grinned and leaned down to give Snowdrake a small side-hug. 

“Sure, Snowdrake, definitely. We’ll prove them both wrong.” 

“Yeah!!” 

With a hop and skip of glee, Snowdrake waved with a wing to the boys before hurrying on its way down the path and out of sight. Peter stood up and brushed his snowy pants off, looking toward the way Snowdrake had gone. “Looks like he’s going the same way we are,” he noted. “I wonder if we’ll see him again later on.”

“I hope so,” Harry said. “He was a nice kid.”

“Yeah. And I think you really got through to him,” Peter agreed, nudging his friend as they began their trek again. Harry looked surprised.

“Me? You’re the one who started talking to him.”

“Yeah, but you told him about your own struggles and showed him he wasn’t alone. I think that was really the key. You did good, buddy.” He smiled. “I think Toriel would be proud of you.”

The mention of Toriel caused them both to slow in their tracks again. They’d only just started moving, but it was enough to make them pause as a fresh wave of regret washed over them. Leaving Toriel was the hardest thing they’d had to do since arriving Underground, and the wounds were still there on the surface.

“God, I miss her,” Harry mumbled. 

“I do, too.” Peter sighed. “I wish there could’ve been a way she could come with us. Even if there was just a way we could still _ talk _to her...”

They stood in silence for a while, each trying again to reconcile with the loss of their pseudo-mother. All of a sudden, Peter’s eyes lit up. It was as if a lightbulb had sprung to life over his head, illuminating an obvious solution that had been gathering dust under a tarp in the attic of his brain. 

"Harry!" he exclaimed, whirling to face his friend. Harry looked at him, a little startled. 

"What?? What's up?" 

"I still have the phone Toriel gave me,” the spider-boy said breathlessly, eyes shining with hope. “Maybe we can’t go back, but we can still try and call her!" 

Harry brightened immediately. 

"Hey, yeah, you’re right! We might as well try it!" 

Peter eagerly took the phone out of his pocket, where it had rested against his hip, forgotten for too long, and dialed her number. It rang for several long seconds as Peter pressed it against his ear. 

“Come on, Toriel,” he whispered under his breath, willing the woman to answer. “Pick it up. Please pick it up.”

But no answer came. The ringing continued far longer than it normally would, and after it became apparent that Toriel wasn’t going to answer it, Peter sighed dejectedly and put the phone away. 

"She didn't answer," he said numbly. “It just kept...ringing and ringing.”

Harry wilted. 

"Oh. I...guess she couldn’t get to the phone." But they both knew it was something more than that.

They stood still again for a minute more, and then Peter shook himself and said, "Well...we'd better keep moving. She wouldn’t want us to get stalled because of her." 

“You’re right. A-And maybe we’ll find another way to contact her, once we get out of the mountain,” Harry said hopefully. Part of him knew that was incredibly unlikely, as she’d explicitly asked them not to return, but a bigger part hoped she would rescind that request. 

So on the two went, and after walking forward for about ten minutes through the endlessly white and gray landscape, they finally spotted Papyrus and Sans in a clearing. The skeletons were facing one another and talking animatedly - at least Papyrus was, anyway. Peter and Harry, unsure of exactly what to do, paused at the edge of the clearing and watched the brothers from there. 

_ Hope Sans is right about Papyrus, _ Peter thought. _ I’d much prefer a goofball to a real hunter. _

"So, as I was saying about Undyne..." Papyrus trailed off in his excited anecdote as he suddenly turned his head and seemingly noticed Peter and Harry, standing about thirty feet away. The boys raised their hands slowly and gave him a wave and matching sheepish smiles. 

Shocked into silence, Papyrus looked rapidly back and forth between his brother and the boys several times, not saying a word. Then, he turned to Sans and, in an exaggerated stage whisper, exclaimed, "OH MY GOD! _ Sans _ ! Are those... _ humans _?" 

Peter and Harry thought that it was rather obvious what they were… until they realized that he was not looking _ at _ them, but past them, at two sizable rocks in the snow. They blinked and gave one another a truly baffled look. 

"Uhhh...actually, I think those are rocks," Sans said. Papyrus wilted and frowned deeply. 

"Oh."

"But hey, what's that in _ front _of the rocks?" Sans asked with a knowing smile. Finally noticing Peter and Harry for real, Papyrus' eye sockets widened to a comically large size.

"OH MY GOD!!!" He snuck a look back at Sans for confirmation. "Are those...are _ those _humans?" 

"Yes." 

"OH MY GOD!" he shrieked again. "SANS! I FINALLY_ DID IT _ !” Papyrus began to twirl in place, a beatific smile stretching across his skull. “Undyne will...I'm gonna...I'll be so... _ popular _ !" he shouted joyfully. " _ Popular _ ! _ Popular _!!!" 

He noticed that Peter and Harry were staring at him with quite apparent confusion (clearly unsure what to make of him even with this second exposure), and he cleared his throat quickly. 

"Ahem! Humans!" he yelled. "You shall _ not _ pass this area! I, the Great Papyrus, will stop you! I will then capture you! You will be delivered to the capital! Then... _ then! _...” He paused and rubbed his jawbone. “I'm not sure what's next," he admitted. 

Peter leaned close to Harry as Papyrus delivered his speech and murmured, "Geez, I gotta say, not even Doc Ock drones on like this." Harry couldn’t help but snicker. 

"In any case!" Papyrus continued, shaking his head. "Continue...only if you _ dare _!" He laughed his ridiculous laugh, somehow sounding even more like Skeletor, then ran off down the road with his gloved fists raised high above his head in triumph. Once he’d gone, Sans came over to them with his hands in his pockets. 

"Well, that went well," he said amiably. 

"Depends on what you mean by 'well'," Peter chuckled. “I mean, he didn’t catch us, but I’m pretty sure he’s still into the idea.” 

"I’d say he’s _ very _into it,” Harry fretted. “You sure he’s not gonna hurt us?” 

Sans laughed. "Don't sweat it, kids,” he said. “I'll keep an eye socket out for ya'. You’re doing great so far; I can tell Pap is really happy. Just keep this up, and you’ll be golden. Trust me." 

With another little salute, he went off after his brother, his slippered feet making smaller prints in the wake of his brother’s large boots. Peter and Harry watched him head off. 

“Well, I guess this isn’t _ so _ bad,” Peter said as they crossed the clearing. “Papyrus definitely doesn’t strike me as a Doc Ock type, even if he does ramble like one. So far, he just seems like an excited little kid.” 

“I guess,” Harry said, kicking up some snow with his foot. “I’ll be more inclined to believe he’s actually like that after a few more encounters, though. I’m still slightly nervous it might just be an act.” 

“I get what you mean,” Peter agreed, “but I think Sans definitely knows his brother pretty well, so I’m hoping he really is just a big, wacky skeleton man. So far he hasn’t proved us wrong.” 

“Yeah…”

Harry remembered the promise he’d made to himself after meeting Snowdrake and sighed. _ That’s only supposed to apply to monsters who aren’t actively seeking to capture us, _ he reminded himself. But still, if Papyrus did turn out to just be all bark and no bite, perhaps he’d let himself be a little more open to the idea of hanging around him more. But _ only _if he knocked off the Capture and Conquer stuff. That would get annoying real fast, otherwise.


	11. No Moving!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys meet a dog with swords who absolutely can't stand excess movement. Or, any movement, really. They also come across a travel-yearning snowman, and have the pleasure of experiencing Papyrus's first puzzle of many.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, I think with today's upload, I'm officially changing my schedule to Saturday! Since college starts up in a week or so, it'll just be easier for me to upload on a weekend than the last day of the week. ^^ I'll do my best to continue getting weekly uploads up, but if I miss a few here in there, blame my classes, haha.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

As they moved along, Peter and Harry soon came across what appeared to be a sentry post made out of cardboard. It was written on with sharpie, and upon closer inspection they could see that it had a few dents in it. Peter went a bit closer and took a look at the writing on the front. Aloud he read, "’You observe the well-crafted sentry station. Who could have built this, you ponder...I bet it was that very famous royal guardsman! (Note: Not yet a very famous royal guardsman.)’” 

“This must have been built by Papyrus,” said Harry, a ghost of a smirk flirting across his face.

“I’d say that’s a safe bet,” Peter agreed. He tilted his head and hummed a little. “You know, I know he wants to capture us and all, but I kinda can't help but like him, at least a bit. He's so...so  _ goofy.  _ He really can’t come off as anything but.” 

Harry snorted and rested one hand in his pocket. "Yeah, I guess. He’s not super dangerous so far, at least. I still don't like this whole 'capturing humans’ business, though. Even goofy villains can turn out to be more than they appear. Remember Batroc?” 

Peter grimaced at the memory of the leaping Frenchman with an affinity for robbery.

“Yeah, I remember Batroc.”

He was kind of a clown, but underestimating him had been a mistake. Peter’s back still sometimes ached from where the bastard had sprung and landed on him with both feet.

Still, comparing an excitable skeleton to a hardened criminal was a  _ bit  _ of a stretch; at least, judging from the way things had been going so far. 

“I wouldn’t worry too much, Har,” Peter said, giving his friend’s shoulder a friendly pat. “I think we can take whatever he dishes out. Besides, Sans said he’d keep an eye out for us, and he hasn’t proved that to be false yet.”

“Actually, he said he’d keep an eye  _ socket  _ out for us,” Harry replied with a light eye roll and a playful smirk. “But you’re  _ mostly _ right. I guess we’ll see how things go from here.”

Peter laughed and gave his hair a small toss.

“Sounds like a plan, pal. And I’ll be sure to use more accurate wording next time.”

“I’d be insulted if you didn’t.”

Peter and Harry ended up dropping their light banter upon spotting a sign nearby, which read, " **Absolutely no moving!!!** ” It was stuck firmly into the frozen ground a few feet from another sentry stand, but there was no one else in sight. The sentry post appeared empty. 

"No moving?” Peter pondered. “That’s kinda weird. I wonder why?" 

“Maybe there’s another puzzle in the ground?” Harry suggested, and his eyes scanned the snow by their feet quickly. His relaxed posture had become completely tense again now that the possibility of more danger had been introduced. 

“It doesn’t look like there are any puzzles or traps around here to me,” said Peter, moving some of the snow around with the tip of his sneaker. He made a noise of speculation that kind of sounded like “hrrf”. “I guess there could be a hidden one, though. Let’s just take it slow and stay on alert.” 

He took another three steps forward, lightly maneuvering through the white, icy powder, and then another three. Then another. Harry followed a few paces behind, glancing back and forth with each small progression. Their cautious footsteps left faint marks in their wake.  _ So far, so good…  _

They were just about to pass the vacant sentry post when a noise somewhere between a grunt and a bark issued from within it. Immediately the boys froze in place — a bit awkward for Harry, since he’d been in the middle of taking another timid step forward and his right foot was hovering several inches above the ground. Already he could feel his balance wavering. He could also feel himself break out in a nervous sweat once again, despite the uncomfortably low temperature.

_ Ah, shit. _

A black and white dog attired in a rather loose fitting pink tank top suddenly slid into view from beneath the counter of the outpost. Around its neck was a black studded collar, and a reddish dog biscuit dangled from its mouth like a cigarette. Its eyes darted back and forth at a rapid pace, passing over Peter and Harry multiple times; although, incredibly, it appeared not to have registered their presence yet. 

"Did something move?" it asked in a low, gruff voice. To Peter, it sounded like the man who ran the corner drugstore in his neighborhood, the one who smoked two packs a day. "Was it my imagination?” the dog grumbled, and again it swept its eyes over the area immediately in front of the sentry post. Harry trembled imperceptibly. 

“I can only see moving things,” mumbled the monster in clear annoyance, apparently to himself. Oh. Well, that explained why he hadn’t reacted to the two human boys standing directly in his line of sight. “And if something WAS moving...for example, humans...I'll make sure they NEVER move again!" 

Slowly, Peter slid his eyes to the side as far as they could go without it becoming uncomfortable and tried to catch Harry’s gaze. His friend was far too occupied with keeping his balance, which was getting dangerously close to failing as his right leg began to ache. 

_ Why couldn’t I have picked a more comfortable, less strenuous position to freeze in? _

The dog sniffed the air and narrowed his eyes to slits. The dog treat in his mouth tilted up and down as he shifted his jaw and stuck his head farther out. “I smell things,” he growled, “but I don’t  _ see  _ things. Why don’t I see things? I  _ know  _ something moved!”

Harry clenched his eyes shut and willed himself with all his might not to slip. Or fall. Or move at all. Peter was also willing that - and sending a quick, universal prayer out to any deity that might be listening (if any deity could even  _ see  _ them underneath the massive Mt. Ebott) - but unfortunately, the exhaustive pose became too much for Harry, and his right leg dropped with a cry of, “ _ Dammit! _ ” 

“ _ I knew it!”  _ cried the dog, pounding its paws on the wood. It vaulted over the counter of the sentry outpost and leaped for the boys, both of whom yelped and stumbled into one another in their haste to back up. Now that he was fully outside the enclosed post, they could see that his lower half was covered in extremely bright cheetah-patterned pants. At least his fashion sense was interesting.

“I’m sorry, Pete!” Harry whimpered. “I couldn’t hold it any longer! My legs were cramping!” 

The dog reached behind itself and unsheathed two very sharp-looking swords from sheathes on his back. They gulped. 

“What’s a dog need with  _ swords _ ?” Peter asked weakly. “I don’t even trust most humans with those things!”

"Don't move an inch!" the dog barked. “I’m warning you! Stay right where you are, by order of the Royal Guard!!” He sprang forward and slashed at them with his swords. Quick as a whip, Peter shoved Harry to the side and dove in the opposite direction, effectively giving the angry canine only air to slice. 

“ _ Hey!  _ I said  _ no moving! _ ” the dog screamed. Somehow the dog treat managed to stay in his mouth despite the forceful exhalation of air and words. That was pretty impressive, Peter had to admit.

Even so, something was going to have to be done before the both of them were cut to ribbons. 

“Calm down, buddy!” Peter exclaimed, jumping back to his feet and readying himself for another possible attack. “Maybe we can talk about this whole ‘moving’ thing, huh? Hash it out, get down to the root of the problem?” He shifted his stance a little, and his offer was answered with another attempt to stab through his intestines. 

“Or, maybe not,” he chuckled in a strained voice, just barely jumping over the swinging blade. “Guess you’re, uh, not one for talking.” 

“_Stop disappearing and let me stab you!_ _Where do you keep going!?” _

Again the dog swung the sword, and this time Peter bent backwards underneath it like it was a limbo pole. He winced as he heard a distinctive  _ crack  _ in his lower back. God, that was gonna hurt for a few hours, wasn’t it? He was pretty out of practice with limbo. SHIELD didn’t throw many luaus. 

“Pete, be careful!” Harry fretted, hopping from foot to foot anxiously. He gulped as the dog suddenly whirled to face him, teeth bared around the bone-shaped treat. Whoops. 

“Uh-oh,” he mumbled.

It took two short bounds for the monster to reach Harry, and only a single second to lash out at his closest body part, which happened to be his arm. “There you are!” the dog howled. Harry managed to react in time and violently threw himself back, but not before getting a slight nick in his sweater from the razor-sharp instrument. 

“ _ Hhhhhn _ !” 

Harry’s strangled noise of terror told Peter that the time for dodging was over, and the time for acting was  _ right now.  _ But what could they do to dissuade this dog - a ridiculously angry dog, to boot - to  _ not  _ chop them into a dozen bloody pieces if he wasn’t interested in talking? 

_ O-Okay, let's think this through,  _ Peter told himself, dragging out any possible solutions from the whirlwind currently going on inside his mind.  _ It’s a dog, right? I mean, it’s a monster, but it’s clearly a dog. What do dogs like? Treats?  _

They didn’t have any food on them, so that wasn’t exactly a viable option. Plus the dog already had a treat clenched in his jaws; he probably had a whole supply in his sentry post.

_ Okay, treats are a no. What else? Fetch? _

Yeah, he’d probably end up playing fetch with their limbs if the altercation went on for much longer.

_ Fetch is a no go, too. C’mon, think! There’s gotta be SOMETHING! _

Then Peter had another thought. An absolutely brilliant, absolutely stupid thought. He had no reason to believe it would work on a dog that had all the sapience of a human being, but damn it, it was all he had left. 

With a single leap, Peter came up behind the monster as it readied again to slash at Harry, who’d fallen back into the snow and was shaking uncontrollably. He had just raised the sword above his head when Peter reached out and, with a shaking hand, pet the fur on the top of his head.

At once, the dog grew absolutely frenzied. "WHAT!!!!" he exclaimed, leaping aside violently and whipping his head from side to side. Peter hurriedly helped Harry to his feet, and both watched in astonishment as the monster wiggled and squirmed in place. “W-WHAT!!!?! WHAT IS THIS!? I'VE BEEN PET!!! POT? PET? PAT? POT? PET?"

“Did you pet him?” Harry asked breathlessly. “Did you  _ pet  _ the dog monster?!”

“It was the only thing I could think of!” Peter insisted. “A-And look, I think it did something!”

“Yeah, it did  _ something,  _ alright,” Harry agreed. “It freaked him the hell out!”

“W-What pet me?” the dog mumbled hauntedly to himself, trying to focus in on the targets he’d just been hacking at. “Where did they go? N-No one’s there anymore…  _ Is there a ghost? _ ” 

He slashed again, blindly, and didn’t even come close to hitting the boys, who were standing off to the other side. It appeared that now that they’d stopped moving again, the dog couldn’t get a bead on them despite having seen them just seconds before. Monsters really were weird sometimes.

“Stay completely still,” Peter whispered out the side of his mouth. “He can’t see us anymore.”

“This is crazy,” Harry muttered. “Sure, he can’t see us, but how’re we gonna get out of here if we can’t move?”

“We should try and pet him again. Maybe it’ll confuse him so much that he leaves,” suggested Peter. “We just gotta wait ‘til he gets close enough.”

Harry remained skeptical, but he kept his mouth shut and just focused on keeping his body as still as possible. He didn’t want a repeat of the incident that got them in this mess in the first place. 

Luckily for Peter and Harry, the extremely bewildered dog began to lurch around the path with staggering steps, head practically revolving 360 degrees to find a trace,  _ any  _ trace of the mysteriously disappearing humans, or the ghosts, or whatever they were. Something had pet him, and he  _ didn’t know what.  _

Finally, he drew just near enough for Peter to reach out when his back was turned and give him another pat on the head.

The effect was immediate.

"WHERE'S THAT COMING FROM?" the dog wailed, jumping back again and throwing his paws to his head. “I...I don’t understand!  _ I don’t understand!  _ This can’t be  _ possible! _ ” He sheathed his swords and began to slowly back up toward his sentry station, looking back and forth frantically in a desperate attempt to find the culprit. “Th-This is too weird. S-s-s-something pet me. Something that isn't m-m-moving…” He let out a high-pitched whimper reminiscent of a kicked puppy. " _ I'm gonna need some dog treats for this! _ "

He dove headfirst back into the sentry post, roughly grabbing for a box of dog treats and sliding back down out of view. There was the brief sound of crunching and the flick of a lighter, and then all was silent again. 

Peter and Harry waited a good solid minute before allowing themselves to move from their spot. Better to make absolutely sure he didn’t pop right up again before letting their guard down. 

Peter changed position first, slowly relaxing his body from its tense state and taking a very cautious step forward. When no dog came at him, screaming about movement, he let himself breathe a low sigh of relief and motioned to Harry that it was alright. 

"Whew," Peter said as Harry hesitantly made his way to his friend’s side. "That was a little stressful." 

"A  _ little?”  _ asked Harry incredulously. “I’m pretty sure we almost got butchered by a dog who chainsmokes dog treats!”

"...Yeah,” Peter admitted. “Yeah, that’s probably true.” He shook himself and stood up a little straighter, glancing toward the sentry post. “But we did it! We figured out the best route and we took it, ‘cause we’re smart and capable. Just like I told you. I don’t think there’s a monster down here that we can’t find a way around." 

He started off on the snowy path again, slipping his hands into his jean pockets as a wave of reassurance came over him. If they’d managed to find that particular monster’s  _ thing  _ that made him back down _ \-  _ a monster that was actively trying to kill them rather than just suspiciously eyeing them, like most of the others they’d encountered - then they could probably do it again. Probably.

Harry wasn’t as optimistic. 

“You say that,” he said, hurrying to keep stride with Peter, “but not every monster’s gonna be a dog whose weakness is petting. There could be some really dangerous people out there.”

“There’s tons of dangerous people on the Surface, too,” Peter pointed out. “We’ll be  _ fiiine.  _ We can cross each bridge as we come to it, okay?” He gave Harry a grin. “C’mon, buddy, I think we have another date with our favorite skeleton brothers. I can hear the  _ nyeh heh hehs  _ on the wind.”

Harry snorted.

“Oh, joy.”

Just as Peter had predicted, they found Sans waiting for them in the next area as they entered into another larger clearing. The monster appeared to brighten when he saw them, lifting a skeletal hand to wave and beckon them over. 

"Hey, kiddos,” he said cheerfully. “Good to see ya’ again. How ya’ been?” 

“Well, we nearly got turned into kibble by a dog with questionable fashion sense,” Harry said with feigned nonchalance, “so I’d say we’re doing pretty well. Definitely.” He allowed a frown to overtake his face and huffed. Sans began to laugh.

“Aww, you ran into Doggo, huh?” he guffawed. “He’s a real character, isn’t he? Goes through at least three packs of dog treats a day. Dunno how he can afford all that, what with the prices being what they are these days.” He looked up at them with a sympathetic expression. “He gave ya’ a hard time, eh?”

“He almo-” Harry began, but Peter intercut with, “Ahh, we handled him!” The spider-boy waved his hand flippantly. “Sure, he gave us a little trouble, but once we figured out he doesn’t like getting pet by people he can’t see, it was a piece of cake.” He nodded once, affirmatively. “Yup. Nooo problem.” 

“Oh my God,” Sans laughed, “that’s how you got him off your back? You pet him? That’s hilarious!”

“It was still pretty damn harrowing,” Harry grumbled, crossing his arms. “I’m just glad Peter’s specifically dog-based solution worked.”

“Well, he  _ is  _ a dog,” Sans said. “Only makes sense to me, heh.” He turned toward the opposite end of the clearing and nodded down the path, which continued on through the expansive wintery landscape. “Anyway, I got somethin’ important to tell ya’. That’s why I was waiting here for you.”

“What is it?” Peter asked, intrigued.

Sans looked left, then right. He got closer to the boys and motioned for them to bend down, which they did. “Here's something to remember," he began. "My brother has a very special attack he sometimes uses when he’s facing off with someone. I dunno if it’ll get to that point, but just in case, I wanted to tell you ‘bout it. If you see anything  _ blue  _ comin’ at you, it’s in your best interest not to move. Stand still and you won't get hurt."

“I thought you said he wasn’t dangerous!” Harry yelped indignantly. Sans waved his hands in a ‘quiet down’ motion. 

“He isn’t, really!” he insisted. “He doesn’t like hurting people, and I have a feeling that extends to humans, too, even if he doesn’t know it himself, yet. I’m  _ just  _ sayin’, if he happens to try and capture you physically, you’ll wanna know how to handle those blue attacks.” Sans sighed. “You’re not in danger, really. Pap isn’t a big fighter. If you do end up facing him, he’ll probably just talk for half the time about his dreams and goals and stuff. I just want you to be prepared, okay?” 

Harry wasn’t 100% convinced, but he shared a look with Peter and gave a sigh of his own.

“Alright. Thanks for the tip, I guess,” he said. “We, uh, appreciate it.” He shook his head. “I still hope it doesn’t come anywhere  _ close  _ to that, though,” he added. “I’d rather just talk it out.”

“And we will,” said Peter confidently. “You’ll see. Once we talk with him, he’ll forget all about this capturing nonsense. Maybe we’ll even make a new friend!” He was hopeful, anyway. 

“I think he’d like that,” Sans said, and the unending smile on his skull somehow looked softer and warmer. Then he stepped past them and started to walk off the way they’d come, calling over his shoulder, “Anyway, I’ll see ya’ real soon, kids. Take it easy, okay? And remember what I told you ‘bout those blue attacks.”

“Oh, uh- thanks, Sans!” Peter said. “We will, don’t worry!” They watched him disappear out of sight before heading off themselves. They had no time to waste, after all; they had to keep moving for as long as they could. Although, they were starting to think a rest stop might be nice, if they could find one along the way to the exit. New Yorkers were made for walking, but that didn’t mean they didn’t get tired occasionally, too. 

Just a few minutes later they came upon a snowman, and out of curiosity, Peter and Harry went over to inspect it. To their slight surprise (although not nearly as much as it would have been before falling down into this world of monsters), it began to talk. 

"Hello. I am a snowman," it said.

“Oh! Hello,” said Peter, quickly correcting his brief shock into a smile. “How you doing, buddy? What’s going on?”

The snowman’s small, black eyes shone with what seemed to be melancholic wistfulness. How that was possible to convey through coal, the boys didn’t know, but that was the aura they got from it. "I want to see the world...but I cannot move,” it said. “If you would be so kind, travelers, please...take a piece of me and bring it very far away."

That was all? That didn’t seem like too much to ask. 

"Oh, sure!" Peter said. "I don’t think that’d be a problem." He stepped closer and reached out carefully toward the snowman, pausing before he actually made contact. He looked at the snowman’s face again and asked, “Uh, may I?” 

“Please, go right ahead.”

Nodding, Peter removed a small piece of the snowman’s midsection, making sure to patch it back up with the snow around the spot, and slipped it in his pocket. It was cold against his hip, but not unpleasantly so.

“There we go.”

“Now, you’re sure it’s not gonna melt, right?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. “I’d hate for it to be slush by the time we get where we’re going.”

“Oh, no, no,” the snowman assured him, and if it could have moved its head it probably would’ve shaken it from side to side emphatically. “My snow cannot melt. I am a special snowman, if I do say so myself. You will be able to carry it as far and wide as you’d like.” It gave a little sigh. “I hope it will see something fantastic.”

“We’ll make sure it does, pal,” Peter said, giving the snowman a friendly pat on the approximation of its shoulder. 

“Thank you both very much.”

Peter and Harry waved goodbye to the snowman, then readied themselves for another stretch of slogging through snow. Fortunately for them - or, perhaps,  _ unfortunately  _ depending on the way one looked at it - it was only a short while before they came upon both Sans and Papyrus waiting for them in yet another clearing.

Harry blinked a couple times after noticing Sans standing there and chatting amiably with his brother, as if he hadn’t gone the complete opposite direction the last time they’d spoken to him. 

"Wasn't he just...?" Harry asked slowly, and jerked his thumb over his shoulder. Peter sucked his lip in thought.

"Yeah," Peter replied. “Yeah, I think he was. That’s...a tad strange.”

Their attention was taken from the mystery of Sans’s incredible circumnavigation when Papyrus stamped his foot down rather loudly, sending a shower of snow flying up around him. 

"YOU'RE SO  _ LAZY _ !" Papyrus scolded, wagging a gloved finger at Sans and knitting his brow. "You were  _ napping  _ all  _ night _ !" 

"I think that's called...sleeping," Sans said. 

"Excuses, excuses!" Papyrus huffed, waving his hand. “If I were you, I’d-” He suddenly noticed Peter and Harry standing near the entrance of the clearing. A big grin split over his features. "Oh-ho! The humans arrive!” he proclaimed grandly, jumping to face them and rubbing his hands together. 

“Hey, Papyrus,” said Peter pleasantly. “Long time no see.”

“Yes! Long time no see indeed! I’ve been waiting for you for _ ever! _ ” the taller skeleton exclaimed. “In order to stop you, my brother and I have created some puzzles! I think you will find this one...quite  _ 'shocking' _ !" On the last word, Papyrus produced a small blue orb from the pocket of his costume and held it up triumphantly. It had a shiny tint to it, almost like an extra-large marble. "For you see, this is the invisible... _ electricity maze! _ " 

“Electricity maze, huh?” Peter asked. “I’m no stranger to zaps, heh. This should be a breeze.”

"So you think!” Papyrus said with a smirk. “But you have absolutely  _ no  _ idea just how deviously and intelligently designed this puzzle is. You see, when you touch the walls of this maze," he explained, gesturing to a patch of ground in between himself and the boys measuring about 15x15 feet, "this orb will administer a hearty zap!” He tipped his head back and cackled. “Sound like fun? Because the amount of fun you will probably have, is actually rather small, I think."

Peter gave the maze a quick once-over and pursed his lips lightly. “Hmm. I see,” he said. “That’s interesting. Way more clever than anything Electro could come up with, certainly.” 

“I do not know of any ‘Electro,’” Papyrus said, “but I  _ am  _ sure that whoever they are, this puzzle is indeed  _ much  _ more clever! Thank you for noticing.” Papyrus preened a bit, straightening his costume and brushing a hand along his head, then stood back and eagerly motioned for the boys to try and cross the rectangular patch of ground. "Okay, go ahead! Try and cross  _ if you dare! _ " 

Peter, having noticed a glaring flaw in the fact that Papyrus was still holding the orb, shrugged and took a step toward it. “Alright, sure. No problem. C’mon, Harry?” Harry paled.

“Are you crazy? How’re we supposed to get through-” He paused when he saw Peter’s subtle nod toward Papyrus. “Oh. Uh, yeah! Sure. Let’s do it. Piece of cake.”

Together they stepped into the slightly discolored snow patch. Instantly, the blue orb in Papyrus’s hand gave him what looked like a pretty intense zap, inducing a shriek of the loudest proportions. Peter grabbed Harry’s arm and jumped back; no reason to make the poor guy suffer. 

“AGH!!” Papyrus yelped, once he’d managed to regain his ability to form words. "SANS! "WHAT DID YOU  _ DO _ ?!"

"Me? Nothin’,” Sans said. “I think the humans have to hold the orb, bro." 

Papyrus blinked. Then blinked again. "Oh,” he murmured. “Yes…I suppose you are right. Yes. Okay." 

He walked carefully through the maze to the other side, following very specific turns, which he apparently had memorized. As a consequence, he left a trail of clear footprints in the snow, unintentionally revealing the exact path through the maze to Peter and Harry. Peter nearly laughed at the irony of it all, but he held his tongue and accepted the orb when it was handed to him. 

"Hold this, please!"

“Sure, Papyrus.”

The skeleton raced back to the other side as soon as the orb left his hands, once again following the correct path and only reinforcing his footprints. Apparently he’d failed to notice that the entire puzzle was now moot, as he clapped his hands victoriously and called, "Okay, try now!" 

With Papyrus’s footprints marking the way, the boys easily made it through the maze and stopped in front of Papyrus and Sans, proudly looking up at the taller of the two. 

“Done and done,” Peter said, handing him back the orb.

Papyrus, who still hadn't noticed the betrayal of the prints, gasped in shock and frustration. 

" _ INCREDIBLE! _ ” he barked. “You slippery snails! You solved it so easily... _ too _ easily!” He dropped the orb back into his pocket and crossed his arms as a small grumble escaped his mouth. Peter and Harry shot each other matching grins. 

Papyrus tapped his foot a couple of times, then squared his shoulders. “Oh, whatever! This doesn’t mean you’re in the clear, humans. The next puzzle will not be easy! It is designed by my brother, Sans!” Again he laughed his signature cackle as he hopped from foot to foot. “You will surely be confounded! I know  _ I  _ am!" With a few more  _ nyeh heh hehs,  _ the tall skeleton brother took off along the path once more, leaving both Sans and the boys in his dust. Or, snow, more accurately. 

"He's not very observant, is he?" Harry asked Sans with a smirk. Sans chuckled.

"Ah, no, he's not. I think it might be his most pressing issue, but we’re workin’ on it.” He yawned (his mouth, as always, remained closed, but the typical sound came forth anyway) and gave Peter a light, friendly punch in the side. “But, hey, thanks. Both of you. My brother seems like he's having fun.”

“Yeah, well…” Harry blew a short breath through his mouth. “It’s not like he’s all  _ that  _ dangerous. And that was kind of funny, what happened just now.” The smallest hint of a smile came over his face. Sans clapped. 

“Aha! See? What’d I tell ya’?” he laughed. “Pap’s harmless. He just needs some new friends, that’s all.” He gave a meaningful look to the two of them. Peter smiled.

“Well, if he’s looking for friends, we’ll do our best to oblige. Just as soon as he stops trying to catch us and do...uh, whatever else he’s trying to do.”

“I think he’s getting there.” Sans winked, then turned to go — then he stopped and turned back to the boys, looking like he wanted to say something. “Oh, by the way,” he said casually, “did you happen to notice that weird outfit he's wearing?” 

“Oh! Yeah,” Peter said with a nod. “Yeah, I was actually kinda wondering about that. Is that a special uniform or something?” He cast his thoughts back to their encounter with that sword-wielding dog - ‘Doggo,’ Sans had called him - and remembered him saying something about a Royal Guard. “Is he part of the, uh...what’s it called...the Royal Guard?”

“Nahh,” Sans replied. “I mean, he’s in training, but they don’t really have a set uniform, ‘less you count the armor some of ‘em wear.” 

Huh. That was good to know. 

“We made that a few weeks ago for a costume party,” the skeleton explained, “and he hasn't worn anything else since. Keeps calling it his 'Battle Body'." Sans sighed affectionately. They both could tell just how deeply he cared for his taller, goofier brother. It was kind of touching, to be honest. "Man. Isn't my brother cool?" 

Peter and Harry didn't necessarily think of him that way  _ just  _ yet, but truth be told, they were kind of starting to warm up to him. Maybe in a little while they could update their rapidly changing opinions on Papyrus to ‘Cool’. For now, they were somewhere around ‘Strange but Charming’. They didn’t want to offend Sans, though.

"Yeah," Harry said. "He's pretty cool." 

“Yeah.” Sans looked down the path. “Well, I’d better get going and make sure  _ my _ puzzle’s ready. Catch ya’ later, kids.” 

Sans gave another salute and a wink, and then he was off, this time heading in the direction that Peter and Harry expected him to go. Maybe their minds had just played tricks on them earlier? 

“We’d better go, too,” Peter chuckled, heading off after Sans. “I’m very intrigued to check out his puzzle.” 

“Yeah,” agreed Harry truthfully. “Sans doesn’t strike me as a big puzzle guy, so this really ought to be interesting.”


	12. Sans's (Definitely) Very Challenging Puzzle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After meeting the nice-cream seller and giving him a much-needed tip on where to sell his product, Peter and Harry discover the true horror of Sans's puzzle. Very daunting, very difficult, very challenging. Definitely. 100%. Sans would not lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like so far, the Saturday schedule is holding up! ;u; 
> 
> Here's another shorter chapter for you all! I was considering meshing this one together with the next, but in the end I felt that it flows better split up like this. I hope you enjoy, even if it's not as long as some of the other ones!

There was a blue-skinned man with two long, soft ears standing by what appeared to be an ice cream cart a little ways down the road. He looked rather sad, leaning against his cart with a dejected frown on his face. Even the cheerful reds and yellows of his stand’s mini umbrella didn’t seem to be doing much for his mood.

“He must not be having a great day,” Harry observed, nodding over toward the man. “Wonder what he’s so down about.”

Peter’s first thought was that it might have something to do with the fact that there were no customers in sight - most likely because the temperatures were less than optimal for ice cream, if that was indeed what he was selling. 

The right thing to do, Peter felt, would be to go and cheer him up. After all, Snowdrake had seemed pretty happy after they went over to talk to him. Maybe what some of the monsters needed was just a listening ear. 

“Why not go ask him?” Peter strolled over to the blue-tinted man with a little bounce in his step. He felt good about going up to this monster. Like with Snowdrake, he didn’t get the sense that this one was going to suddenly attack out of nowhere. Maybe it was just a side effect of being in the Underground for so long now, but Peter was beginning to feel the dregs of his wariness (which hadn’t been all that prominent to begin with, anyway) melting away. Rather unlike the mounds of snow that surrounded them and the defunct ice cream cart. 

"Hey, excuse me?" Peter asked, raising a hand to the moping monster. "Is everything alright? We couldn’t help but notice that you look kinda sad." 

The man looked up from the circle of compressed snow he was standing in and sighed. "I don't understand why these aren't selling," he said, pouting. "It's the perfect weather for something cold!” He gestured around with a hand vaguely at the icy terrain. Harry and Peter took a look around them at the gently falling snow, gathering in mini piles around the wheels of the cart. Both raised an eyebrow. 

“Are you, uh...are you sure about that?” asked Harry. The man furrowed his brow.

“Of course I’m sure! People love my nice-cream. What better way is there to spend a snowy afternoon than to curl up with a delicious frozen treat?”

“Seems like a good way to make yourself cold both inside and out,” Harry murmured under his breath. 

Peter hummed and rested a hand on his hip in thought. Clearly the ‘nice-cream’ seller didn’t quite understand the age-old wisdom of “hot weather = cold food, cold weather = hot food”, and it was severely impacting his business model. There had to be a way they could set him on the path toward more lucrative pastures. But first, the least they could do was buy some of his product.

"Well, we'll buy some, mister," Peter offered. The man instantly brightened, his ears perking up from their sad, droopy position.

"You will?? Wow, thanks a ton, man!!" He opened the compartment on his cart and rummaged around for a moment, producing two standard-looking ice cream cones. He handed them to Peter and Harry, who accepted the treats with polite smiles. “Here you go! Two nice-cream cones! That'll be ten dollars, please."

Peter nodded and went to grab his wallet, then remembered that he’d left it at home in anticipation of their hike, and promptly smacked himself in the forehead. He turned out his pockets in the hopes of finding some loose change. No such luck. Sheepishly, he turned to Harry and rocked back on his feet.

“Heeeey, Harry,” he said, grinning hopefully. “You, uh… you wouldn’t happen to have ten dollars for the nice man, would you?”

Harry gave Peter a  _ really?  _ look. Peter’s grin doubled in size. Harry sighed.

“Yes, I have ten dollars,” he grumbled, fishing out his wallet. “You’re lucky  _ I  _ actually remembered to bring some emergency cash.” He handed a crisp ten dollar bill to the Nice-Cream Man, and the monster happily folded it up and stuck it in his pocket. 

“Hey, much obliged, little dudes! Have a super-duper day!"

"Thanks!" Peter said cheerfully. “Can’t wait to taste it. But, hey, between you and us…” He glanced around, as if readying to share a secret, then dropped his voice to a stage whisper. “I think you might have a lot more business if you sell these somewhere hot.”

The Nice-Cream Man tilted his head, a pondering expression coming over his face. “Somewhere hot?” he mused. “Huh. I guess I never thought of that before.”

“Trust me, you’ll get a lot more customers,” said Harry. “Cold stuff goes great with intense, unbearable heat.”

“Oh hey, I know someplace like that!” exclaimed the man, a big smile stretching from ear to ear. “Thanks, fellas! I’ll set up shop in Hotland and see if that gets more nice-cream sold.” He glanced down at his cart. “Uh, as soon as I sell out of all these.” 

“That sounds good,” Peter laughed. “Maybe we’ll see you there!”

They both gave the newly energized vendor a wave before getting back on their way. They ate their nice-cream while they walked. It was kind of hard to pinpoint the flavor - Harry was convinced it was peach, while Peter maintained that it tasted just like Disney World’s pineapple Dole Whip - but whatever it was, it was cool, refreshing, and delicious, even in the chilly weather. 

The boys had just finished licking the remnants of sticky nice-cream out of their cones when they spotted Papyrus and Sans again. The skeletons stood, like the last few times, in the center of a clearing. A piece of paper was lying on the ground in front of them, and aside from a few rocks, there was nothing else in sight. Nothing even remotely resembling a puzzle.

Peter cocked his head. “Hey, guys. What’s, uh...what’s all this?”

"HUMANS!" Papyrus exclaimed, whipping his head up at the sound of Peter’s voice. Despite having no irises, pupils, or any eyes in general to speak of, his empty eye sockets conveyed absolute excitement. Excitement, and anticipation. "It’s about time you showed up! I hope you're ready for..." 

He spun back around to face Sans, took stock of the single sheet of 8.5x11 paper, and trailed off. A beat of silenced passed. 

"SANS!" 

“What?”

"Where's the puzzle?!" 

"It's right there. On the ground," Sans said nonchalantly, pointing with his foot to the paper. "Trust me. There's no way they can get past this one." He winked at Peter and Harry, motioning for them to come over.

Peter glanced around briefly, looking for any hidden cameras like the one he’d found in the bush outside the Ruins. This had to be a prank, right? Was this the Underground’s version of that show  _ Punk’d _ ? Sans being the monster equivalent of Ashton Kutcher wouldn’t surprise him.

There were no cameras that he could see, but the confusion was still clear on his face as he and Harry went over to the “puzzle”. Harry bent down halfway, then looked at Sans questioningly. Sans just nodded. Hesitating only a second longer, he picked it up, and Peter poked his head over his shoulder to read what it said. 

"Monster Kidz Word Search” is what it said.

_ Monster Kidz Word Search, huh? _

Harry made a noise somewhere between a donkey bray and a choking frog and quickly slapped his hand to his mouth. The hell was  _ that? _ Perhaps the absurdity of the so-called puzzle had tapped into a part of himself he’d never known existed. Now  _ that  _ was a powerful word search.

“Aw, shoot,” Peter said, snapping his fingers. “I didn’t bring a pen with me.”

“Guess we’ll have to come back and solve it later,” said Harry, placing the paper back in the snow and trying his best to hide his grin. He failed.

Papyrus was aghast, mouth wide and agape as Peter and Harry easily skirted the word search and came to stand, once again, in front of the skeleton brothers. Their proud smiles were big and pearly. With a disgusted snort born of absolute disbelief, Papyrus turned to Sans and took a deep breath that would inevitably turn into a shout.

"SANS! THAT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" he roared.

"Whoops. I knew I should have used today's crossword instead." 

Papyrus scoffed as his anger turned to incredulity. "What?! Crossword?!” he asked in a very offended tone of voice. “I can't  _ believe  _ you said that! In my opinion…” His eye sockets glanced back and forth twice, landing more than once on the humans. “Junior Jumble is easily the hardest." 

Sans shook his head in clear disappointment. "What? Really, dude? That easy-peasy word scramble? That's for baby bones." 

Now Papyrus shook his head, crossing his arms to emphasize his displeasure. "Un.  _ Believable _ ." Turning to the boys, he demanded, "HUMANS! Solve this dispute! Which is harder? The crossword, or the Junior Jumble?" He gazed at them intently, leaning forward as if ready to hang onto their every word. The sheer weight Peter and Harry could feel Papyrus placing on their opinion was actually kind of flattering. A little stressful, in an odd way, but flattering. They almost never got this much credit attributed to any opinion they had. Sure, it was a pretty low-stakes debate, but hey, it was something.

That left them in a rather tricky situation, though. Declaring the crossword to be the harder brain game would almost certainly discourage Papyrus, and possibly make him question his own capabilities in puzzle solving. However, agreeing that the Junior Jumble word search, clearly meant for young monsters, was more difficult would just be an outright lie. 

_ What’s a human to do? _

Harry, though he'd be slow to admit it, really was beginning to like the goofy skeleton, and he found himself not wanting to hurt Papyrus' feelings. Not everyone was great at brain games; Harry himself always struggled with those damn sudoku books. Siding with Papyrus seemed like the best idea to him. So, smiling up at the taller brother, he said with confidence, "Uh, Junior Jumble, obviously." Peter nodded very seriously in complete agreement.

Papyrus’s grin was huge and instant. 

"HA! HA!” he cackled, hopping from foot to foot and clapping his hands. “Humans must be very intelligent, if they also find Junior Jumble so difficult! I knew I was smart to have you decide this!" 

He laughed his distinct, cartoony laugh, then dashed away as he had each previous time. They could still hear the echoes of it traveling back to them faintly for a good thirty seconds after he was no longer visible. 

Sans nudged Harry in the side in a light, playful gesture. "Thanks for saying Junior Jumble just to appease my brother," he said. "I can tell it really meant a lot to him. Y’know, yesterday he got stumped trying to 'solve' the horoscope." That was somehow both surprising and unsurprising to them.

Harry smiled. "No problem. It was the least we could do.” He looked around at the snow and trees and rocks, shifting a bit as a nagging, prodding little thought that had been brewing for a while finally squirmed its way to the surface and out of his mouth. “You know...he really isn't that bad," he admitted.

Sans chuckled and patted Harry on the back. "See? What'd I tell ya'?” he said. “He's not dangerous. He just wants to feel cool. And I think you two are doing a pretty good job of making him feel like he is." 

"Hey, you said it yourself,” Peter said with a little smile. “He’s pretty cool already." Now that he and Harry had spent some more time around Papyrus, he felt safe in concluding that he was no threat. Indeed, as they’d discussed earlier, Peter would be quite pleased if they were able to get to a point where they could officially consider him a friend. He liked him, and he knew now that Harry felt the same way, as hard as it had been for him to come to terms with it.

“Heh, yeah. I guess I did.” 

Sans gave them both a nod before slowly ambling off on his way. Probably going to catch up with his brother again, Peter figured. Even with their victories over the invisible electricity maze and Sans’s very daunting word search, they both had a feeling they hadn’t seen the last of Papyrus’s puzzles.

“I knew you were starting to like him,” said Peter teasingly as they got back on the trail. Harry huffed and gave his friend a light shove.

“Oh, shut up. Don’t rub it in.”

“I told you he wasn’t as bad as we initially assumed.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Peter could see another hint of a smile on Harry’s face, which only served to egg him on.

“You’re smiling!! You knew I was right!”

“Pete, I’m warning you, I  _ will  _ smack you if you keep this up.”

“You wouldn’t smack  _ me.  _ Not with the Best Friend Pact we made in sixth grade. That specifically stated there was to be no smacking between us.”

“We never got that notarized.”

Shit. Harry had him there. Smacking was, legally, still on the table.

“Oh. Well, we’d better do that when we get home. That’s a very important document.” 

Harry laughed, shaking his head. Peter’s banter could so easily rival that of a certain infamous carrot-chomping cartoon rabbit that it was a wonder he’d never tried to anonymously submit his stuff to Warner Bros. Maybe someday he’d convince him to try it.

“That all depends on if you stop pestering me, buddy.” 

Peter raised his hands in defeat. “Point taken. Pestering ceasing now.”

He  _ really  _ wanted to get one more little jab in, but Peter Parker was a man of his word. They continued their journey in a comfortable, easy silence for a while, Peter contenting himself with the knowledge that there would be plenty of other times in their friendship for him to annoy the shit out of Harry. Lovingly, of course. 


	13. Warning: Dog Marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dogs, dogs, and more dogs. So many dogs. They're drowning in dogs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI WOW THIS IS SO LATE!!! 
> 
> Sorry for the delay, everyone; as I predicted, college got a little busy, so I spent most of last weekend recuperating. ^^" I did manage to finish up this chapter today, though, and I'll do my best to have another one for this Saturday! No promises, but I'll try. Very hard. 
> 
> Enjoy <3

Within another short span of walking, they came upon another small star. They also spotted a mouse hole, which resided in a snow pile next to a small table, which was adorned with a plate of slightly frosted spaghetti. A microwave sat next to said spaghetti, and a note was stuck to the top of it. 

Peter picked up the note, and aloud he read, "’Humans! Please enjoy this spaghetti. (Little do you know, this spaghetti is a trap, designed to entice you! You'll be so busy eating it...that you won't realize that you aren't progressing! Thoroughly japed again by the great Papyrus! -Nyeh-heh-heh, Papyrus.’”

Harry found himself laughing. Only Papyrus would actually write his signature chuckle into a physical note. 

“So this is a trap, huh?” he asked, looking over the plate of noodles and sauce with one eyebrow slightly cocked. It didn’t look particularly appetizing, particularly because of the crystallized snow sprinkled among the sauce, but mainly because it was absolutely frozen solid beyond that. Harry gave it an experimental tug. The thing wouldn’t even come off the table. 

“We could probably heat it up,” Peter suggested. “There’s a microwave right there.” Unfortunately, that would prove to be useless two minutes later when Peter discovered that the machine was not, in fact, plugged in. And, indeed, there was no place for an outlet anywhere near their current position. Forests didn’t usually have working electricity, anyway. 

“Uh, never mind.”

“Papyrus forgot the most important element of food-based deceit and distraction,” said Harry solemnly. “Making it edible.”

“We’ll have to give him a pointer next time we run into him.”

Peter wandered away from the table and crouched down next to the glowing star. It twinkled and pulsed in five second intervals, just like all the rest. It was practically identical to the ones that had come before, but that didn’t take away from its beauty or mystery. 

He touched the star, and the booming voice seemed to come from deep within the copse of trees to their right. Also the snow beneath their feet. And right behind them. And maybe even inside their minds. 

"Your adventure has been saved. Knowing the mouse might one day find a way to heat up the spaghetti...it fills you with determination." 

“Not likely, enigmatic voice,” said Harry, glancing around. “It’s not plugged in.”

“Maybe the mouse can engineer an outlet,” Peter suggested, smiling. “You never know how far someone will go when food is involved. Have some faith in the little guy.”

One more cursory scan of the nearby area showed there was nothing else of interest, so Peter and Harry took up their journey on the long, long road once again. Peter was starting to feel a slight ache in the arch of his foot; the fatigue they’d jokingly discussed earlier was becoming ever more real with each frostbitten step. There  _ had  _ to be towns, or villages, or some kind of community groups down there, right? If there was an entire society of monsters in the Underground, it would only make sense for them to gather in a few specific clusters. That was how most societies developed over the course of history.

Thinking back, the nice-cream seller had mentioned something about ‘Hotland’ before they’d left him; maybe that was one of the monster communities that resided down beneath the mountain. 

Before Peter could voice his theories about the common paths of development that most civilizations took, and thus their likelihood of finding a town soon was actually pretty decent, a sign coming up on their left caught his eye and erased everything he’d just been thinking about.

**Warning: Dog Marriage.**

"Dog...Marriage?" Peter echoed. 

Harry studied the sign from a few different angles, walking around the back of it before coming to stand beside Peter again. He looked as confounded as the spider-boy.

“It doesn’t say anything else,” he said. “Just...that. Dog Marriage.”

Peter frowned. Each new sign they came across seemed to get more and more abstract. Pretty soon they’d probably find one that said ‘ **Chicken Sandwiches** ’ or something. It didn’t make sense, but neither did this one!

“Why would we need a warning about Dog Marriage?”

“Beats me.” Harry shrugged. “Maybe whoever posted it just wants to let everyone know they’re happy.” 

Well, it would be a weird way to announce a marriage, but to each their own, Peter supposed. If people on the Surface could announce the gender of their baby through an elaborate fireworks show, monsters could post a vaguely ominous sign announcing their marriage.

“Guess we’ll deal with that when we come to it,” he said. No point in debating over its exact meaning before they even saw what it was referring to.

They were about to move on past the sign when, seemingly out of nowhere, a small white dog came bounding toward them with the biggest, wildest doggy smile on its face. 

“Oh, damn, another dog,” Harry said in slight surprise.

This dog, Peter noted, was wearing clothing not normally associated with dogs, very much like Doggo; but unlike Doggo,  _ this  _ dog had a full suit of armor on over its furry white body. A sword was clutched in one paw and a shield in the other, and the dog barked eagerly as it skidded to a halt mere inches from the human boys. They could see its tail wagging behind it at an almost supersonic speed. 

It stared up at them and yapped, its shiny black eyes reflecting their own bemused features. 

"Oh! Uh, hi there, little buddy," Peter said, bending down to get on level with this new, intriguing monster. "You're so cute! Are you part of the dog marriage?”

Peter waited expectantly, but it didn’t respond - at least, not in a way that was intelligible. The dog just kept staring at him, pink tongue lolling out one side of its mouth and heavy pants issuing forth in short intervals. A strand of drool hit the snow beside it.

He looked up at Harry, who could only raise his hands in a  _ hell if I know  _ gesture. Turning back to the dog, Peter murmured, “Uh, well...you seem like a happy fella. Mind if I pet you?” Now the dog began to vibrate intensely, getting noticeably more excited and wiggling its hindquarters. It seemed to have all but forgotten the sword and shield it held, as the items dropped to the ground and quickly became covered in the snow. Peter chuckled. 

“Guess that’s a yes!”

Peter reached out and scratched the dog just behind its ear, delighting in the softness of its fur. He’d always wanted a dog. Or any pet, really. A dog, a cat, a parakeet, a tarantula; he just wanted something he could hold and pet and cuddle. 

As soon as his hand made contact, a very odd thing happened: the dog’s neck, which had just moments ago been a normal and reasonable length for a dog, increased about one inch. Just...one second it was normal, the next it was quite obviously longer. 

“Whoa, what the hell?” Peter snatched his hand back, worried that he’d broken the dog somehow. 

_ Can you break a monster?? _

The dog, however, seemed unaffected by the sudden neck lengthening. In fact, it seemed almost... _ exhilarated. _ It yipped gleefully and turned in a circle, raising its paws and waving them at Peter. It gave a little whine when ten seconds had passed and Peter had not made any move.

“I think it wants you to pet it again,” Harry said, face a mix of wonder and horror. Really, who wouldn’t be at least a  _ little  _ horrified after witnessing a dog’s neck do...whatever that was? 

“You think so?” Peter asked. He was a little hesitant to pet it again. What if the dog got hurt? Sure, it didn’t seem to be hurt right now, but having one’s neck constantly change size just couldn’t be good for the spine. Still, the dog looked so sad and imploring that Peter couldn’t help but give in to its adorable face. He gave it another pat, this time on the nose. 

Just like before, the dog’s neck shot up another inch, the growth accompanied by an excited  _ wroof!  _

“Oh, God, what have I done?” Peter whimpered. “I’m so sorry, buddy!”

But the dog was apparently having the time of its life, because as soon as it settled down from the last pet, it stuck its face right up in Peter’s (as it was now on level with him) and licked his nose affectionately. The boy immediately began to laugh, reaching his hand out and gently pushing the dog back a bit. 

“Hey, easy, pal, easy! Hah, you’re gonna bowl me over!”

Even that small amount of contact was enough to grow the dog’s neck yet  _ another  _ inch, causing both boys to yelp.

“Ahh, shit!! Sorry! Uh, how do I turn this thing off?”

Now the dog bounded over to Harry, almost at his height now, and wiggled its lower body intensely. With the extra-long neck and the quick motions, it kind of looked like a very furry noodle. It woofed at him, clearly asking for more pets. 

“Is this a good idea?” asked Harry incredulously. “Y-You’re gonna fall over!”

“Woof!!”

Harry took that to mean  _ Do it, human boy! _ , so he steeled himself and gave the dog what he presumed it wanted. Another inch, another absolutely euphoric bark. Now the dog stood well above both Peter and Harry. They had to look slightly upward just to keep focus on its face. 

“ _ Woof!!!”  _

The little white dog, who was not so little anymore, wavered slightly from the added weight of its neck, but thankfully didn’t topple over, as Harry had feared. Trotting forward again, it lifted one soft, fuzzy paw and patted Peter lightly on the head.  _ Pap. _ Then it barked again. 

Peter shook his head desperately. This dog was going to end up the size of one of the shorter trees surrounding them in approximately four more pets, by his calculations. Maybe five. Either way, if it fell over, it was definitely going to hurt both itself and them. 

“Are you  _ sure? _ ” he asked reluctantly. 

“WOOF!” 

“Okay, okay!” 

Never in his life had Peter thought that petting an adorable dog would make his stomach twist and tighten with somewhat dreaded anticipation, but oh, boy, was it happening. 

Standing on tiptoe, he just barely managed to stroke the fur under its chin. The dog’s neck and head sprung up another inch, just as he had surmised. Would the madness ever end?

Thankfully -  _ blessedly  _ \- the dog at last seemed to arbitrarily decide that it had, indeed, had enough. It paused, staring down at Peter and Harry, who wore identical masks of concern, and another huge doggy grin spread over its muzzle. It let out one more  _ yip! _ , and with that small exhalation, its neck shrunk back down to the proper length for a monster of its size. 

“Oh, thank God,” Peter sighed. They hadn’t disfigured an innocent dog forever. That was a relief. 

The little dog picked up the sword and shield from the snow and dusted them off with its paws. When it had cleaned them sufficiently, the dog jumped up onto Peter, licked his face once again, and then scampered off into the woods around them. The only remaining evidence of what had just taken place were the tiny, chaotic mess of pawprints in the snow. The pawprints, and the forbidden, arcane knowledge both boys now possessed.

"Well,” said Harry. 

“Yeah,” said Peter.

There was really nothing else to say. 

The path they continued down was blocked by a small puzzle. It didn’t appear to have any of Papyrus’s signature marks -- no note, no cold spaghetti, and no Papyrus himself. Peter figured it was an older puzzle, built before Papyrus came along and began setting up traps for humans. Kind of like the ones they’d encountered in the Ruins.

It didn’t take long for Harry to discover a hidden switch nearby, and the two were able to cross it unhindered.

Not five minutes after completing the relatively simple puzzle, Peter and Harry were accosted by two more dogs. 

_ More? More dogs? Really?  _

They quite literally came dashing out of nowhere, paws making short  _ thumps  _ on the ground as they tramped with purpose toward them. Both were dressed like traditional executioners: dark hooded robes, giant axes, and an overwhelming aura of authority. 

“Halt!!” one of them cried in a gruff voice. It kind of resembled Doggo’s, but wasn’t nearly as scratchy. This dog, whoever he was, probably didn’t smoke. 

_ Kudos to him. Terrible habit. _

Harry paled. He felt his hands go clammy at the sight of the sharp, glinting axes.

"Uh-oh.” 

“You shall go no farther, intruder!” barked the other dog. This one’s voice was high and feminine, but all the seriousness of the first one’s was present in her tone as well.

“This place is just riddled with dogs,” Peter murmured, more to himself than to Harry. Normally he would  _ love  _ to be in a place where talking, anthropomorphic dogs roamed freely in the streets, but something about this couple gave him the idea that they weren’t the ‘let’s play fetch’ kind of canines.

"What's that smell?" the male asked. 

Peter hesitantly sniffed under his shirt’s armpit. He wasn’t  _ that  _ sweaty, right? 

" _ Where's _ that smell?" the female demanded. 

“Uhhh...hi?” Peter tried. “We’ve been walking for a really long time, so if we’re sweating a little, that’s probably why. I can understand why it’d be especially obvious to dogs, with your keener sense of smell and all, and we really do apologize. If you could just point us to a shower, maybe a town or someth-”

The male dog cut him off with a sharp bark. 

"Silence! If you're a smell..."

"...Identify yoursmellf!" his partner growled. 

They moved closer, backs arched and front paws gripping the wooden handles of their (quite frankly ridiculously large) axes. They began to circle Peter and Harry, sniffing vigorously all the while. Peter and Harry were at a loss for what to do, so they just stood there, helplessly, staying as still as they could and hoping the dogs would sniff their fill and leave them alone.

"Hmm...here's that weird smell,” the male said. He was close enough now that Peter could make out a little name tag that read ‘Dogamy’ pinned to his robe. Likewise, it appeared his partner’s name was Dogaressa, judging by her own name tag. 

“Like I said,” Peter chuckled, wincing at how his voice wavered, “w-we’re really sorry if we’re irritating you. Do you know if there’s a-”

“It makes me want to  _ eliminate _ ,” Dogamy stated. 

_ Ah, shit.  _

"Eliminate YOU!" yowled Dogaressa. 

"Good grief," Peter mumbled. The swift, sudden swipe of an axe crashing down right next to his left foot changed his exasperation into heightened focus real quick.

As with Doggo, his first priority was to get Harry out of the line of fire. Harry was smart, but when it came to physical altercations, it was probably better if he stayed near the sidelines. 

Harry apparently agreed, as he was already stumbling backward and yelping in fear. Dogaressa was advancing on him steadily, swinging her axe in an arc and still sniffing loudly. Harry put his hands up in a weak attempt at defense. Dogamy seemed to mistake the defensive action for an offensive one, as he woofed angrily.

“Don’t touch my hot dog!”

“He means me,” Dogaressa cooed, and she swiped with her axe again. Even in the midst of such an ordeal, Peter couldn’t help but admit that the two dogs made a pretty cute couple. It reminded him of how Aunt May used to act with Uncle Ben.

“Peter, h-help!!” Harry wailed.

Oh, right. This cute couple was trying to behead them. 

“On it, buddy!”

One short jump took him to Harry’s side, and another took both him and Harry a significant distance away from the black-cloacked dogs. Peter had slightly misjudged the exact angle he needed to land at for a smooth touchdown, though, and he and his friend ended up crashing into a large mound of snow.

“Oof! Shoot, I thought I calculated everything right!” Peter complained, popping up from the snowdrift and shaking out his wet hair. Harry soon surfaced beside him, body shaking and teeth chattering. 

“G-Great. Now I’m cold  _ and  _ w-w-wet.” 

“Sorry, Harry. Next time I’ll make sure we land on our feet.”

“I hope there won’t  _ be  _ a next time!”

They clambered out of the snow pile, Peter quickly looking up to see where Dogamy and Dogaressa were, Harry doing his best to wring out his sweater. 

Their adversaries were only a few feet away. They appeared to have lost Peter and Harry’s scent, as the dogs’ noses were in the air and snorting deeply, but Peter knew it was only a matter of time until they found them again. And what then?

_ Might as well use the time I’ve got, right?  _ he thought.  _ Doggo didn’t like it when we pet him. Wonder if it’s the same with these two?  _

Before he could test his theory, though, something strange happened. As Dogamy and his partner grew nearer and nearer, Dogamy’s head suddenly snapped straight ahead as if he’d heard something startling. He stopped in his tracks and stared at Peter and Harry, and beside him, Dogaressa paused as well. Beneath the large hood, his face displayed complete bewilderment.

"Wait a minute,” he said. He sniffed again. Peter and Harry waited, holding their breath without even realizing it. 

“Wait. This is… What!” Dogamy yelped, shaking his head. “So strange. Suddenly smells like a..." 

"Oh my gosh,” said Dogaressa, her eyes widening in astonishment. “Are you actually little  _ puppies _ ?!"

Peter exchanged a look with Harry. Out of all the ways he’d expected to get around the two lover dogs, this was not even close to one of them. What had made them confuse a human scent for a dog scent?? The two creatures smelled nothing alike, in Peter’s experience. There was no reasonable explanation…

His eyes got big and wide.

_ Unless… _

"Oh my God,” he mumbled out the side of his mouth. “The snow.”

Harry stared at him.

“What?”

“The  _ snow.  _ It disguised our scent!”

Dogamy and Dogaressa were still coming closer, but now their weapons hung hesitantly by their sides. 

“Puppies? Are you there?” 

"Uhh...yeah!" Peter called with as much cheer as he could muster, nodding vigorously. He hesitantly stepped forward and went to pet Dogamy's head, explaining, “S-Sorry, we ran into, uh, some humans earlier, and we probably still smelled like them until we washed it off in the snow. Sorry about that!”

Dogamy gasped as soon as Peter touched his head. Peter yanked his hand back, fearful he’d made a mistake, but the dog was wagging his tail beatifically. 

"Wow!" he exclaimed. “Wow, wow! Amazing! I’ve been pet! Pet by another pup!!" 

Dogaressa gasped, too, and she edged closer to Harry, who watched on in surprise. 

"Well don't leave me out!" she whined. She inclined her head a little toward him, and Harry hesitantly gave her a quick pat by her ear. Dogaressa grinned widely.

"Dogs that pet other dogs...amazing!" she exclaimed. Whirling to face her husband, she woofed, "Dogs can pet other dogs??? Did you know this??"

"No!” Dogamy laughed. “A new world has opened up for us!" 

The euphoria rolling off the dogs in waves was almost powerful enough to knock the boys back on their asses. It was incredible, really. Who could’ve known that petting really  _ was  _ the solution to every dog-related conundrum? It would probably do them well to remember these experiences for the future, Peter realized. 

"We have to go test this out immediately!” Dogamy exclaimed, and he took Dogaressa’s paw and whirled on his heels.

“Yes!! Yes!! Thanks, weird puppies!" 

With that, they ran off paw-in-paw, skipping merrily through the snow with their axes swinging gaily by their sides. If Peter had had his camera with him, he would’ve taken a shot. It was too absurd and, frankly,  _ beautiful _ not to. But he didn’t have his camera, so he settled for watching the strange spectacle for as long as he could. 

He felt Harry shift beside him. 

"...Well...I guess that’s what ‘Warning: Dog Marriage’ meant," Harry said. 

Peter nodded. "Yeah. I guess so.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “They make a pretty cute couple, don’t they? I mean, besides the brief homicidal intentions.”

Harry gave Peter a withering look.

Peter just smiled back at him until Harry let out a breath and turned. 

“Let’s just keep going. I don’t know if I’m in the mood to meet any other dogs right now.” He huffed a little in exasperation. “The next one’ll probably be…invisible or something, I don’t know.”

Peter laughed at that. An invisible dog would be a sight to behold. Not  _ literally _ , but, you know. 

“Sure, pal.” He nudged Harry playfully. “But hey, remember: we know how to hack any dog we come across, now! Petting always does the trick. It’s probably hardwired into any creature with even remotely doglike genes. Even monsters.” 

“That’s great for them. I’m still more comfortable with petting a plain old chihuahua than a dog with an axe.”

“That’s fair, I can understand that.”

As the boys walked along the snowy lane, leaving behind more footprints in their wake, the white expanse glittering around them, Peter found himself hoping their clothes would dry at least a little bit before they got out of the mountain. It would probably be night time, or maybe even early morning, by the time they’d emerge. The evening autumn air wasn’t often kind to soaked jeans. 


	14. The Rainbow Grid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After coming across Papyrus again, Peter and Harry help him solve a puzzle that accidentally had its solution changed, hoping to show him that it's okay to ask for help sometimes (even for the Great Papyrus). They're also faced with the wildest, most unpredictable puzzle yet: the rainbow grid. What horrors await?? 
> 
> ...Not many, actually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another late chapter??? @ me: get ur shit together pls.
> 
> Okay, in my defense, I got sick a few days ago and have been knocked out for a while. However, I probably should've been working on this waaay earlier than that, ngl >_> But! At least it's one day earlier than last week. And if I can continue that trend, we'll be back on Saturday in no time!! Hopefully, anyway.
> 
> Keep an eye out for the next chapter, lads! I'm definitely gonna keep them coming no matter what!!

"Now, where'd Papyrus go?" Harry wondered aloud as they entered the next area. “It’s been awhile since we’ve seen him.”

“Yeah, true. He has to be around here somewhere, if his spaghetti was any indicator.”

Sans was probably wherever Papyrus was, too. The spider-boy was actually looking forward to their next run-in with the skeleton brothers; it was a nice break between figuring out how to deal with other monsters, and navigating the snowy twists and turns on their own. Plus, he was always game for a pun-induced laugh.

Peter glanced to his left as he thought all this to himself, and he just happened to notice a small line of boulders and two large, neon ‘X’ symbols embedded in the snow nearby. Beside them was a sign that read, ‘Turn every X into an O. Then press the switch.’ 

“Looks like we’ve got another puzzle on our hands,” Peter noted. He gestured to the X’s. “I bet all we have to do is stand on those. Two X’s, two of us. Easy as pie!”

It made enough sense to Harry. Most puzzles in the Underground so far had involved stepping on or pushing things. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was worried that at a certain point, the puzzles would just absolutely ramp up in difficulty, but he tried to keep that thought suppressed. Why jinx it?

He and Peter both took their place on one of the X symbols, turning them into O's, and then Peter stepped on a switch in the ground. A row of spikes blocking the path just up ahead disappeared, sinking deep into the snow. Yup, another ‘step-on-this-specific-thing’ puzzle to add to the books.

"See? No problem!" Peter said. A smile stretched its way across his face when he saw who was standing literally just on the other side of the now-defunct row of spikes. “And hey, look who it is!”

Harry whistled.

“Wow. Talk about timing.”

Papyrus was facing away from the boys, gazing off down the continuing path that wound its way, seemingly endlessly, through the Underground. He appeared to be looking for something. Or maybe he was just lost in thought. Or maybe he was just waiting to dramatically turn around when they approached.

As soon as he heard Peter’s voice, he whirled around, sending his bright scarf billowing out behind him. 

"What?!” he gasped, throwing his shoulders back in astonishment. “The humans? So soon?? How did you avoid my trap?!" Then, almost as an afterthought, he lowered his voice and shifted his narrowed eye sockets from Peter to Harry. "And, more importantly...is there any left for me?" 

"If you’re talking about the spaghetti," Harry said with a smirk, “we couldn’t get it unstuck from the table. Sorry. So we did leave it all for you, if that makes you feel better.” 

Papyrus’s eyes moistened. He put a hand to his white chest piece, incredibly touched, and even somewhat impressed by their resilience. 

"Really? Wowie...you resisted the flavor of my home-cooked pasta just so you could share it with me??” he asked. From the tone of his voice, that wasn’t something that happened very often. Peter could relate; usually he had to pester his friends at the lunch table at least three times before they relented and shared a morsel of food with him. (It wasn’t like he didn’t bring his own lunch; he just got extra hungry sometimes and needed a little more! He never asked for  _ that  _ much.) Anyway, having someone share food of their own accord was always pretty magical. Even if sharing hadn’t been Peter and Harry’s initial goal, it was nice to see Papyrus so happy.

Harry laughed a little, and he nodded along. 

“Yeah, man. It’s all for you. We appreciated the thought, though. Really.”

“Well… that was very nice of you!” 

Papyrus wiped a single tear from his eye socket before shaking himself a little. He stood up straighter, and in a grandiose tone he said, “Fret not, humans! I, Master Chef Papyrus, will make you all the pasta you could ever want! You shall not have to suffer the terrible absence of my homemade spaghetti for a day longer. Just you wait!!" 

Laughing loudly, ecstatically, Papyrus once again took off before either Peter or Harry could respond. They noticed him stop just a few yards up ahead, though, and despite the increased distance, Peter saw the skeleton put one hand to his head in a gesture of confusion. That was odd. 

“Hey, why’d he stop?” asked Harry, stepping gingerly over the spot where the spikes had been (one never could be too careful) and tilting his head. Peter pursed his lips and scratched at his own head.

“I don’t know. Let’s go ask him. Maybe he needs help with something.”

Sure enough, the moment they got back within range, Papyrus turned and waved them over fervently. 

“What’s up, Pap?” Peter felt like the use of a nickname wasn’t  _ too  _ weird. They’d become more acquainted now, and saying ‘Papyrus’ each time they wanted to address him seemed like kind of a mouthful, frankly. It’d be like calling Harry ‘Harold’. Who wanted that? Definitely not Harry, he knew that for certain. Besides, nicknames were fun! 

Apparently Papyrus didn’t object to this shortening of his name, as he didn’t even acknowledge it before launching into his spiel.

"Humans! Hmm...how do I explain this…” He clasped his mitten-covered mitts and rocked from foot to foot. “Before I went to wait for you, I...I decided to improve this puzzle...by arranging the snow to look more like my face.” He gestured down to the pattern of neon X’s, very similar to the ones they’d encountered previously. Peter guessed that, if you squinted, it  _ did  _ kind of look a little like Papyrus’s face. Kinda. 

“Unfortunately,” he continued, “the snow froze to the ground. And now the solution is different!" He huffed and crossed his arms indignantly. "And, as usual, my lazy brother is nowhere around. I suppose what I am saying is..." 

Peter and Harry smiled up at him.

“You need our help?” Peter guessed.

Papyrus glanced down at them, at their open, eager faces, and the spaces above his eyes knit together in pensiveness. He hesitantly opened his mouth, as if readying to accept the offer... 

Suddenly he struck a dramatic, heroic pose, placing one hand on his bony hip and the other near his face. "What? No, of course not! I was only informing you of the situation! There is no need to trouble yourselves over it. Worry not, humans! I, the Great Papyrus, will solve this conundrum! Then we can all proceed!”

He smiled, stepped back, and started rubbing his chin- or, in this case, his jawbone- thoughtfully, concentrating intensely on the puzzle set out before them. It was pretty clear from his posture (and the tiny sweat droplets beading on his skull) that he had absolutely no clue where to start, though.

Peter and Harry each gave the other a slightly exasperated look at Papyrus’s display of grandeur. It seemed to them that he had some trouble admitting he needed help when the situation called for it. Not that Peter could blame him, really; he’d been the same way, back before Fury had put him in a team and told him to ‘get over it and get along’. Peter had done just that, and now he had a pretty great support system both on the job and off. That had been a wake-up call of the most imperative variety. 

Even Harry had maintained an aversion to asking for help, fostered by his father, until Peter had shown him the many benefits of doing so. Perhaps Papyrus needed the same kind of encouragement. 

“Let’s give it a go ourselves,” Peter suggested, nodding toward the vaguely Papyrus-shaped puzzle. “I bet if we figure it out, he’ll see it’s cool to ask for help.”

Harry made a small noise of agreement. 

“Sounds like a plan. But, uh, if I’m honest…” He rubbed his neck sheepishly and raised one hand, palm-up. “I actually have no idea where to start, heh. This one’s got a lot more X’s than the other one.”

Peter paused and studied the puzzle again. 

“Hm. You have a point there.” Time for some critical thinking.

At least, that was what Peter was all ready to do, until he suddenly noticed a small switch poking out of the bark of a nearby tree. It looked 100% out of place in the surrounding environment, just kind of hanging out amongst the rest of the natural scenery.  _ Hmmm.  _

Something in his gut told him to flip it, so he flipped it. In an incredibly pleasing but not very shocking event, the cluster of X's all instantly turned into O's. 

“Aha!” Peter exclaimed, snapping his fingers. “That switch was way too convenient  _ not  _ to be the solution.” The movies were right: sometimes, the most convenient answers  _ were  _ actually legit. Who knew? 

"Damn,” Harry said. “I didn’t even know that was there. And I probably wouldn’t have thought it’d work if I had.”

Papyrus, who’d jumped several inches off the ground at the sudden  _ schick  _ noise that the X/O panels had produced, came hurrying over from his previous position to stare with mouth agape at both boys. He kept looking back and forth between Peter and Harry and the solved puzzle, as if he couldn’t believe that they’d actually managed to figure it out.

"Wow!" he gasped. "You solved it!” 

“Uh-huh,” said Peter proudly.

“And you did it all without my help...incredible! I'm impressed!!” Papyrus’s astonishment turned into another genuine smile that stretched from non-existent ear to non-existent ear. “You must care very much about puzzles like I do!”

Harry wasn’t really one for big brain teasers, but he did have to admit that the rush that came with figuring out one of those crazy contraptions was pretty great. As long as they didn’t increase in difficulty to anything life-threatening, or something with a time limit, he figured he could probably get used to the Underground’s puzzles. Maybe.

“Yeah, well,” he said, mirroring Papyrus’s grin, “this one wasn’t so hard. Got anything else for us?” There was a tiny hint of playful challenge in his voice that surprised even himself. 

Papyrus clapped his hands and did a little bounce in place.

“Oh, certainly, certainly!" he said. "I'm sure you'll love the next puzzle! It might even be too easy for you! Nyeh! Heh heh! Heheheh!" 

He ran ahead in a cloud of snow and dust, and they could hear him calling over his shoulder, “Come on! Come on!! Hurry up! I’ll race you!!” 

Peter looked after him, then to Harry, and raised an eyebrow with a little eager shimmy of his shoulders. 

“What do you think? You down for a race?”  Harry looked down past his pants, which were still quite damp from his crash-landing in the large snowdrift, at his snow-covered shoes. They were cold, and wet, and probably giving him blisters, if the slight discomfort by his heel areas were to be believed. They were also $300, designed and manufactured in Italy, and not built for running in the slightest. 

Harry grinned.

“ _ Hell  _ yeah.” 

The boys took off, whooping and laughing, down the apparently endless path through the Underground’s winter wonderland, and at that moment neither of them cared much if it actually  _ was  _ endless of not. At that moment, all that mattered was the feeling of the wind in their faces, and the showers of snow kicked up by their feet, and the exhilaration that living in that exact point in time brought along with it. 

It didn’t take them long to reach the spot where Papyrus had set up shop next, especially at the pace they were going. Upon spotting the familiar streak of orange against the whiteness of the snow, Peter dug his heels in and ground himself to a halt right at the edge of a somewhat large, black-and-white checkered grid. 

“ _ Hah _ !! I win!”

He looked behind him with a smug smirk, then noticed that Harry was still practically flying over the snow. The other boy appeared to be trying his best to stop the same way Peter had, by digging his feet in, but those Italian business shoes clearly didn’t have the best grip. Noticing his friend’s plight, Peter held his arm out just before Harry surpassed him, and he jolted to a complete stop that ended with him nearly toppling over backwards. Peter thankfully managed to steady him, earning a grateful, sheepish smile.

“Heh, thanks.”

“Don’t mention it! I still won, though.”

“Yeah, I noticed.”

“You’re both wrong! I won!” Papyrus called out from across the expanse of the checkerboard. “I’m the one who initiated the race!!” Peter and Harry’s eyes widened in realization. Oh, right. Somehow they’d forgotten that.

“Whoops!” Peter chuckled. “You’re right, Pap. You did win.” He looked over at Harry and added, “But  _ I  _ came in second. And that’s better than third.”

“Wow,” said Harry, shaking his head. “Gloating. Some friend you are.”

“Don’t feel too bad, other human! You still got here ahead of my very slow-moving brother,” Papyrus encouraged, nodding toward a casually-strolling Sans as he approached the rest of them. Harry smiled.

“Thanks, Papyrus. I feel better already.”

“Hey, I didn’t even agree to this race,” Sans said as he came to a stop beside his brother, hands loosely resting his pockets as usual. “But if it makes you feel better, you did technically get here before me.”

Peter could see from the way Papyrus was practically vibrating with excitement that he was eager to get on with the explanation of whatever puzzle they were standing at the edge of, so he decided to do him a solid and switch the subject off of racing.

“So, Papyrus! What’s, uh, what’s all this here?” 

Papyrus giggled and started bouncing on his feet again. Peter could tell he’d been waiting for one of them to ask, for sure.

“Oh, you're gonna love this puzzle!” the skeleton gushed. “It’s one of the most technologically advanced ones here in the Underground! It was made by the great Dr. Alphys!" 

Peter and Harry didn’t know who Dr. Alphys was, but whoever they were, it sounded like they were pretty important under Mt. Ebott. Judging from the copper-colored machine that stood beside Papyrus, and all its numerous buttons and wires, they were probably something of a mechanical genius. That, or a mad doctor.

Peter was hoping for the former; how cool would it be to meet a monster that was involved with legitimate science? He was already thinking up questions he wanted to ask them, if they happened to run into each other. 

“Oh, cool! What’s it do?” Harry asked. 

Papyrus took a deep breath before launching into the most long-winded explanation both Peter and Harry had ever heard. And that was counting both super villain monologues and Norman Osborn ‘steps to success’ speeches. 

"You see these tiles? Once I throw this switch, they will begin to change color! Each color has a different function! Red tiles are impassable! You cannot walk on them! Yellow tiles are electric! They will electrocute you! Green tiles are alarm tiles! If you step on them, you will have to fight a monster! Orange tiles are orange-scented. They will make you smell delicious! Blue tiles are water tiles. Swim through them if you'd like...but if you smell like oranges, the piranhas will bite you! Also, if a blue tile is next to a yellow tile, the water will also zap you!" 

Peter and Harry were honestly starting to lose track of all the details as Papyrus went on. They couldn’t even remember the very first thing he’d said when the explanation had begun. Still, the monster wasn’t done yet, eagerly barrelling ahead. 

"Purple tiles are slippery! You will slide to the next tile! However, the slippery soap smells like lemons! Which piranhas do not like! Purple and blue are okay! Finally, pink tiles. They don't do anything. Step on them all you like.”

By the end of his tirade, Papyrus looked like someone who’d run a full marathon: face slightly red, out of breath, half stooped over, the works. Even so, he only paused for a single moment to gasp for breath before picking himself up to full height and clasping his hands primly. 

“Well! How was that?!” he asked brightly. “Understand?!" 

Peter and Harry didn't understand. Each boy probably remembered one thing from the entire list of do’s and don’ts, if that. However, asking him to go back over it would probably end in all three of them passing out from the intensity of it all, so they nodded anyway. 

"Oh, yeah, of course!" Peter said, feigning confidence with his typical Spider-Man finesse. “We got this.” Harry just nodded, trying to keep a reassuring smile on his face. Who that smile was for, he didn’t really know, since he was pretty sure  _ he  _ was the one who needed reassurance. 

"Great!" the skeleton exclaimed. "Then there's one last thing.” 

_ There’s more?? _

“This puzzle...is entirely random!!!” 

That wasn’t what they’d wanted to hear. 

“When I pull this switch,” he explained, “it will make a puzzle that has never been seen before! Not even I will know the solution!" He laughed loudly with unabashed glee. Apparently the fun aspect of all of this was just lost on the two boys. Go figure. "Get ready!!" 

With all rules and regulations finally,  _ finally  _ explained, Papyrus pulled the switch with a huge, grand flourish. Everyone, human and skeleton, watched intently as the tiles changed many different colors, shuffling and re-shuffling their hues. Peter felt his face beading with sweat again, but he couldn’t really help it. The idea of a completely, hundred percent randomly generated puzzle with a seemingly infinite number of hazardous combinations just didn’t spark much confidence in him, even with all his hero experience.

Finally, after an agonizingly long amount of time, the tiles stopped. And what Peter and Harry were faced with was… 

A long, wide strip of completely pink tiles right down the center of the grid, lined on either side by three vertical rows of red.

_ Oh my God. Oh...my God. _

For once -  _ for once in his entire, misfortune-riddled life -  _ the Parker luck had not screwed Peter over. He would’ve laughed aloud if he hadn’t been so flabbergasted.

He and Harry looked up from the tiled grid to Papyrus, who was now staring down at the puzzle, his face frozen in an earlier grin. That grin, once so jovial, now seemed  _ juuuust  _ a little bit strained. 

Nobody said a word. After a few moments, Papyrus began to spin. It was incredibly  _ odd,  _ really: to the two of them, it looked as if the skeleton wasn’t even moving his feet, and yet he was turning in perfect circles as though he were hovering, suspended, in the air. Then he spun away, still not moving his feet a single inch, and he spun down the continuing path until he was no longer in sight. This time, there was no manic Skeletor laughter. Only bemused silence. 


	15. You're A Good Man, Papyrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After meeting another strange, enigmatic dog and proving Peter's Pet Theory right, the boys are faced with Papyrus's final puzzle: The Gauntlet of Deadly Terror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I'm late again :''''')
> 
> I think I'll stop commenting on how late each chapter is, it's probably getting a little repetitive, heh. I guess what matters, though, is that I finally got this next chapter done! Woo! We're coming pretty close to the climax of the Snowdin Arc, so that's pretty exciting :3c 
> 
> I'll do my best to get things back to Saturday ASAP! Until then, though, I hope you don't mind the sporadic weekly uploads ^^" Enjoy!!

Peter and Harry watched Papyrus spin away, then walked across the harmless pink tiles - the tiles that had caused the tall skeleton’s apparent minor breakdown - and went over to Sans, who was laughing.

"Is, uh...is he gonna be alright?" Harry asked. 

Sans waved a hand and made a  _ psssh  _ noise.

"Ahh, he'll be fine. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

“He seemed so... _ broken, _ ” Peter said.

For someone to be able to turn in complete circles without moving their feet, they truly must be devastated. Just absolutely crushed. He hoped Papyrus would be able to pull himself back together after the disappointment yielded by the grid puzzle. Not a disappointment for them, of course; for them, it was practically a miracle. But still, they felt bad for the poor guy.

“Nahh, he’ll bounce back real easy. Trust me. This isn’t the first time one of his puzzles has completely flopped.” Sans laughed again. He looked down the way his brother had gone, then turned back to Peter and Harry and beckoned them to come a little closer. 

They did.

“Hey, that spaghetti from earlier…did you get to try any of it?” 

“Sadly, no,” Harry said. “It was stuck to the table he left it on. And the microwave had no power since, y’know, we’re in the middle of a wooded area.”

Sans nodded in understanding.

“Yeah, I figured somethin’ like that might happen. Shame, really. I tried some before Pap went out to leave it for you, and it wasn't too bad for my brother, you know?. Since he started cooking lessons, he's been improving a lot. I bet if he keeps it up, next year he'll even make something edible." 

With that backhanded compliment lingering in the air, the stocky skeleton patted them both on the back and walked off, whistling a nameless tune. 

“Wow. That was cold,” said Harry. 

“Not as cold as that spaghetti,” Peter chuckled. Harry gave him a jab with his elbow. “Hey! I was just kidding!” the spider-boy yelped. “And, hey, I’m sure we’ll get to sample some perfectly good Papyrus-patented spaghetti that’s  _ not  _ a block of ice some time. He said he’d make some for us.”

Peter trotted a few steps ahead and beckoned for his friend to follow.

"We'd better go, too," he said. “Come on! We’re getting close to a town, now; I feel it. I can sense it.” 

“Your spider sense can’t sense towns.”

“I didn’t say my  _ spider sense  _ sensed it. I have my own special Peter Parker intuition that I didn’t even have to get bitten to develop. I was  _ born  _ with it.” Peter smiled proudly and struck a little pose.

“Uh huh.”

Harry grabbed Peter’s arm as he walked past him, pulling him out of his confident stance and tugging him along behind.

“Come on, Pete, you said it yourself: time to get going. No time to be braggadocious.” 

“Alright, alright, fair point.” 

As they walked on side by side, they entered another decent-sized clearing that was just as full of snow as the other five clearings. The main difference here was that  _ this  _ clearing was filled to capacity with dozens of crudely made snow dogs. Each pup had an extended neck, looking for all the world like the dog pet-crazed they'd met earlier, and nearly all of them had their snowy heads lying on the ground beside the noodle-y bodies. 

"Aww, cute," Harry said, stepping around one of the decapitated snow dogs. "I wonder who built these. Think it was that dog with the weird neck thing?" 

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Peter chuckled. He noticed a brown-furred monster resembling a goat standing beside another snow dog, staring at it very intently, and headed over in their direction. “Maybe they know. Excuse me!”

The goat jumped at the sound of his voice, giving a small bleated gasp. A little embarrassed, they quickly smoothed out the crinkles in their sweatshirt and turned to the approaching boys.

“Oh! Uh, yeah? What is it?”

Harry jerked his thumb at the cadre of half-mangled canine sculptures.

“Do you know who built these?”

The goat put a hand to their chest and shook their head slowly. "Oh, man. Buddy. Let me tell you… A dog just rushed in here a few minutes ago, filled with inspiration. It kept trying to build a snow dog that expressed its own emotions...but, as it built, it kept getting more excited about the sculpture. Its neck got longer and longer, and it added more and more snow, until…” The goat paused for a moment to close its eyes. “it was rather sad to watch, but I couldn't turn away. Like watching a train wreck, you know?"

That sounded an awful lot like the excitable pup Peter and Harry had accidentally elongated a short while ago. Now they knew where it’d gone after scampering away.

"Aw, poor dog," Peter said. "I think we ran into it, too. It was very energetic."

“Guess building snow dogs is as good a way to release energy as any,” Harry said with a shrug. 

“Yeah. Maybe once it calms down, it can build one that’ll keep its head.”

Peter thanked the goat for their time and turned to go. He felt them getting closer to a town with each step they took, and the less time they dawdled, the better (even if it was pretty entertaining to take a look at all the lopsided snow creatures). He happened to notice another familiar, twinkling star right at the edge of the clearing as he swiveled on his heel, and he touched it quickly without another thought. His fingertips itched very slightly as he pulled away, and the voice said, "Knowing that dog will never give up trying to build the perfect snow dog...it fills you with determination." 

“Well, the voice finally got something right,” Harry said with a hint of a smirk. “That does fill me with determination. I believe in that dog.”

“We all do, buddy. We all do.”

Walking on at last, the boys took notice of two more snow sculptures sitting smack in the middle of the next area. 

_ More snow dogs?  _

Upon closer inspection, they saw that one was an incredibly detailed bust of Papyrus, heroic grin chiseled on his face and one arm bent in a flex, and the other was a small lump of snow with the word "Sans" written on it with, presumably, a bony finger. 

"I’m not gonna lie,” Peter said, “I think Sans could’ve put just a  _ little  _ bit more effort into his caricature.”

Harry laughed.

“We’ve known Sans for how long, now? And you think he’d put  _ effort  _ into something?”

“Hey, it’s only been a few hours! He could still surprise us,” Peter argued, but he was laughing too. “Maybe not very likely, but he could.”

Continuing on, the boys found a small doghouse, a little bit smaller than Doggo’s outpost, sitting in the middle of another snowy clearing. Several puffy, pristine poffs of snow were scattered on the ground, arranged in no specific pattern. 

“Whoa! Where’d these come from?” Peter asked. 

“I don’t even know what they are,” said Harry, nudging one with his toe. The second his foot touched it, the poff collapsed into a shower of fine, loose whiteness. “And I don’t know how snow could form this type of shape on its own. Maybe someone built them, like the snow sculptures.”

Peter and Harry picked their way through the field of circular snow mounds, Harry impulsively poking each one they passed with his shoe. He felt kind of bad about destroying the work of whoever took the time to make these things, but the compulsion within him was far too strong to deny. There was just something very, very satisfying about watching each poff crumble into powder. 

The last snow poff Harry nudged as they neared the end of the clearing, however, turned out not to be a snow poff at all -- it was a dog. A very big dog. A very big, very adorable dog with muscles, and armor, and a big lance in one paw. It rose out of the snow until it towered over both humans, and it looked down at them with a goofy smile to match the one of the other white, armored dog they’d met.

“Woof!!!”

“Holy shit!” Harry yelped, hopping back a good foot. “How was I supposed to know one of these things was a whole-ass dog!?” 

"I don’t think that should’ve been possible,” murmured Peter, looking from the giant dog to the small area of snow it had popped out of. “I know physics works really weirdly down here, but come on. That’s just too much. There was no room for its body!!” 

“Pete, not the most urgent issue right now,” Harry whimpered through gritted teeth. His eyes were still laser-focused on the dog as it lumbered forward, letting out another resounding, “Woof!!”

Peter winced.

“Oh. Right.”

Then a fantastic idea came to him. He thought back over all the previous encounters with dogs they’d had, and remembered himself making a note that every canine so far had been deterred or satiated with a good old-fashioned pet. So that was exactly what he was going to do.

"Let's try petting it!" he suggested. Before Harry could either agree or disagree, Peter was waving the dog over, patting his thighs and whistling cheerfully. “C’mere, boy! Come on, fella! Who wants a pet? Who wants a pet?” The dog paused for a moment, tilting its head and cocking one ear to the side. Then it inched closer, little black nose sniffing curiously. “Yeah, that’s it! Who wants a pet? You do! Yes you do!”

When it was close enough, Peter took a deep breath, said a quick prayer, and reached out his hand to pet it. He couldn’t reach all the way up to its head, so he settled to give one massive paw a firm pat. The giant dog made something that sounded like a very human gasp, and then it was bowling Peter over, slobbering doggy kisses all over his face and letting out excited little yips and barks. 

“Whoa, whoa!” Peter laughed, doing his best not to get accidentally crushed by the bulk of the dog. “I knew it! I  _ knew  _ you wanted a pet! The scientific method wins again!!”

“Was that really the scientific method?” Harry asked incredulously from where he stood slightly hunched over, warily watching the dog and his friend. His heart had jumped when the dog tackled Peter, but it seemed like the purpose was to play, not to pummel. Hopefully. He was still pretty tense, though.

“Yeah! Totally! I had a hypothesis, and I tested it, and it worked! Scientific method. Boom.”

Peter managed to gently roll the dog off of him ( _ Thanks, spider-strength) _ , and when he stood back up he gathered a handful of snow. Once it was packed into a loose sphere shape, he said, “Hey! Hey, boy! You ready? You wanna play fetch? Huh? Huh?” His voice had fully taken on the tone most people talked to their pet dogs with, but he didn’t care. This was a dog, too, so what was the difference? It was an affectionate tone, he was allowed to be affectionate with all adorable dogs! Even huge ones with armor!

The dog got back to its hind paws and began to yap excitedly, shimmying in place and nodding its head up and down vigorously. Peter threw the snowball and off the dog went, happily grabbing it and bringing it back to the boys. Peter wasn’t sure how the snowball had maintained its shape upon impact, but that wasn’t really that important. 

Once the dog returned, Peter smiled and stood on tiptoe, finally able to reach the top of its fuzzy head now that it was slightly stooped over. The dog immediately gasped with delight, and without another noise, it flopped over onto its back, content. The look on its face was one of pure bliss. 

_ Oh, to be a dog who’s just been pet. _

“How was that, buddy?” Peter asked, bending down with his hands on his knees. “You like that? You had fun?”

The behemoth of a canine barked once, a sound of gratitude and understanding. Then it stood up, and from the neck hole of the armor hopped a normal-sized dog. It hit the snow with a soft  _ plop _ , and it trotted over to Peter and Harry, little tail wagging furiously in the air behind it. The stunned boys could only stand there as the very much not-gigantic dog rubbed against their legs, gave their hands a lick, and then toddled back to the vacant suit of armor. With a single jump, it landed face first in the neck hole, its tiny rump up in the air instead of its face. Then the dog walked off, the armor clanking and creaking until it finally disappeared out of sight down the road. 

"Huh," Harry said after a very pregnant pause. “It wasn’t a big dog after all.”

“No,” Peter agreed, and his voice had the quality of one who’d just awoken from a thirty-year coma. “No, it wasn’t. It was a small dog. A small dog in a huge suit of armor.”

He was quiet for a minute. Then, “How did it-? You know what, never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

Both agreeing that what they’d experienced was a miracle of Mt. Ebott and should not be questioned, they kept going, finally coming to a long rope bridge. The bridge spanned a chasm at least fifty feet wide, and just from a cursory glance over the edge, it was a looong way down. The tops of the snow-covered trees were just barely visible. 

“A rope bridge?” Harry griped as he and Peter began to make their way carefully across. “Why’d it have to be a  _ rope  _ bridge? Why not a nice, sturdy concrete bridge? Or a stone bridge? Every time there’s a rope bridge in a movie it collapses.”

“This isn’t a movie,” Peter pointed out from his place in the lead, “so we’ll be fine!”

“You don’t know that, man. Rope bridges can’t be trusted.”

When they were just about halfway across, they saw just what -- or, more accurately, who -- was waiting for them at the other end.

“Well, there’s our man,” Peter said, pausing in place. “I wonder what he has for us this time.” Raising his voice, he called out cheerfully, “Hey, Papyrus! Sans! What’s up?”

Harry would have actually been rather excited to see and talk to Papyrus again, had their meeting not been taking place while they were on a rickety rope bridge suspended hundreds of feet above the ground. He would’ve much preferred to be on solid land before engaging with their skeleton acquaintance, but unfortunately for him, it seemed that wouldn’t be possible. 

"Humans!” Papyrus bellowed, and the theatricality in his voice was impossible to miss. The grin on his bony face was also hard to overlook. “This is your final and most dangerous challenge! Behold! The Gauntlet of Deadly Terror!" 

Harry gulped.

“The what?”

Papyrus produced a remote from… somewhere… and he pushed one of the buttons on it. All of a sudden, a big spiked mace, a sharp spear, and a small white dog (a dog which looked very similar to the armored dogs they’d encountered) in a harness suddenly appeared, all hanging over the bridge and pointing right at the two of them. Harry groaned.

“Oh, come on! This isn’t fun! I thought you did fun puzzles!”

"When I say the word, it will fully activate!” Papyrus exclaimed, forging ahead with his very likely preplanned speech. “Cannons will fire! Spikes will swing! Blades will slice!" he declared. "Each part will swing violently up and down! Only the tiniest chance of victory will remain!!” 

“Boy, that sure sounds tough, Papyrus,” said Peter with a little chuckle. He wasn’t  _ too  _ concerned -- Papyrus was a good soul, and he wouldn’t actually attack them with something so incredibly violent. It was all just for show. Probably. ...Right? 

“Oh, it will be!!” Papyrus said grandly. “Are you ready?! I hope you are! Because! I! Am! About!  _ To do it! _ " He cackled, and despite his confidence that Papyrus truly didn’t mean any harm, Peter began to feel just the slightest bit worried. Those weapons didn’t look like fakes. He wasn’t really sure what the dog was gonna do, but the mace and the spear looked like they meant business. 

Unconsciously bracing themselves, they both watched as Papyrus stood there. He was standing straight and tall, looking mostly confident, but he made no move to activate the trap. Several seconds passed. The silence grew.

"Well? What's the holdup?" Sans asked. 

"Holdup!? What holdup?!" Papyrus snapped, but he seemed unsteady now. The grin on his face wavered, and the spaces where his eyebrows would have been knit together. "I'm...I'm about to activate it now!" 

Again, he just stood there, not saying anything. 

"That, uh, doesn't look very activated," Sans commented. He looked over to Peter and Harry and gave a quick wink. Peter felt his heart begin to lift. 

Papyrus shifted his weight. He glanced back and forth between Peter, Harry, and Sans, all of whom were fixated on him. Waiting expectantly. Waiting for what he was going to do. 

Finally, the taller skeleton huffed and crossed his arms. "Well!!!” he said loudly. “This challenge!!! It seems...maybe...too easy to defeat the humans with."

Peter and Harry blinked in surprise, and then they smiled widely. Peter was pretty sure if he smiled any harder his mouth would fall off his face.

_ I knew it! I KNEW he wouldn’t go through with it! He really is a good guy. _

"Yeah! We can't use this one!" Papyrus said decidedly, turning his back on the bridge and the elaborate trap. "I am a skeleton with standards! My puzzles are very fair! And my traps are expertly cooked! But this method is too direct! No class at all! Away it goes!" With another push of a button, the deadly items disappeared, retracting into...hammerspace, apparently, as there was no structure above the bridge that could have contained them. 

Once the trap was disabled, Papyrus heaved a great sigh.

"Whew!" 

When he felt Peter and Harry looking at him, grins as bright as spotlights, he whirled back around and stamped his foot indignantly. 

"What are you looking at?!” he demanded. “This was another decisive victory for Papyrus! Nyeh! Heh!!...Heh?" He scratched the back of his skull, then turned abruptly and walked away at an oddly slow pace for someone like him. 

Now able to cross to the other side unhindered, the boys got onto solid ground and went over to Sans. 

“Papyrus is a real stand-up skeleton, you know that?” Peter said fondly. “I was a little nervous for a second there, but I knew he wouldn’t really do it. He’s got a good heart, even if his mind is focused on human-catching.”

“Yeah,” Harry said, and he let out a relieved little laugh. “Man, I really thought we were done for a minute.” The overwhelming sense of gratitude he’d felt when Papyrus had deactivated the trap was almost impossible to put into words. It appeared Peter had been right in his assumptions, way back when they’d first met Sans and Papyrus: Papyrus wasn’t really a threat. He was a good person. 

"Heh, yeah,” Sans agreed. “I knew he wasn’t gonna go through with it. It’s not his style, y’know?” He arched his back. “I don't know what my brother's going to do now, though," he said. "It’s kind of hard to predict. If I were you, I would make sure I understand blue attacks. You remember those, right?"

"Oh, yeah," Peter said. "Yeah, we remember." He was confident they wouldn’t have to worry about any physical attacks from Papyrus, especially after this, but it wouldn’t hurt to refresh themselves on the mechanics just in case. “If they’re blue, stand still. Right? The blue ones you have to stand still for.”

Sans’s permanent grin got a fraction wider, which was his way of expressing a grin of normal standards.

“That’s right. You’ll be fine, kids.” He gave them both a pat on the back again. “I’m rootin’ for ya’, okay? See ya’ real soon.”

“See ya’, Sans.”

The other skeleton brother shuffled off in the direction Papyrus had gone, and Peter and Harry didn’t hesitate to follow at their own pace. The adrenaline rush from having successfully avoided almost certain doom with that Gauntlet of Deadly Terror was still fresh in their veins, and both boys were feeling like the hardest part of their journey was over. Really, what else could be left after something like that? It was literally called ‘The Gauntlet of Deadly Terror’. Everything that came after that had to be a breeze in comparison. Right?


	16. A History Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finally making it to Snowdin Town, Peter and Harry seek warmth in the first shop they see, run by a kindly rabbit woman. While there, they strike up a conversation with her, and end up with a history lesson that changes everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alriiight, finally posting earlier than Wednesday! |D
> 
> *So close, guys. So close. We will get back to schedule.*
> 
> Hopefully this one's not too short! I probably could have combined it with the next one, but like I've said before, I think the pacing works best with how they're split up now. Hope that's okay with y'all!!

The short span of time after leaving the Gauntlet of Deadly Terror behind brought Peter and Harry to the edge of one of the quaintest little towns they’d ever seen in their entire damn lives. There to greet them at the entrance was a wide, cheerful banner that read, "Welcome to Snowdin!" 

“Aha! A town! I knew it!!” Peter exclaimed, pumping his fist victoriously in the air. “I  _ told  _ you I had a sense for these things!”

"Oh, we made it!" Harry gasped in relief. "Finally, a town. I thought we’d be walking in that forest forever." 

Snowdin Town (an incredibly clever pun of a name, in Peter’s opinion) was something reminiscent of one of those Norman Rockwell-esque pictures on the front of Christmas greeting cards. The ones with log cabins with warm, yellow windows and holly strung up in the eaves, and snow-covered pine trees, and occasionally a train in the background. Except in Snowdin, there were actually people in the picture, inhabiting all the picturesque buildings and going about their lives with an easy, mellow air.

“This is so  _ cute _ ,” Peter squealed as they made their way into the town proper. “Oh my God, it’s so small. And pristine. And not full of half-open garbage bags and pigeons fighting over a whole pizza slice.”

“Snowdin is not New York,” Harry agreed.

The first building they passed looked like some sort of shop. It was only a single story, and from what they could see inside the little window, it was just about the size of a New York studio apartment. That was to say, not very big. At all.

After briefly discussing the pros and cons of entering the store (pros: warmth, possible friendly monsters, no snow; cons: possible unfriendly monsters), they decided to head inside. The pros vastly outweighed the one con, they felt. 

Peter pushed the somewhat heavy oak door open, and they stepped into the cozy parlor of the shop. The comforting warmth that suddenly surrounded them had an immediate effect. The two sighed in pure, genuine relief as the bitter cold that had seeped into their bones finally, finally dispersed, and in its place was left a pleasant, fuzzy sensation. 

“I never thought I’d be warm ever again,” Harry nearly cried, hugging his arms tight around himself, as if that would make the newfound heat permeate his body even faster. Peter leaned against the wall and felt himself shiver -- one of those shivers one does when they come in from an extremely cold environment, and the body goes, ‘Oh, okay, we’re warm now - wait, really? Let me check’ -- and with that shiver went the very last vestiges of cold. 

“Thank God,” he murmured, a blissful smile creeping onto his face. “Snowdin Town, we owe you our everlasting thanks.”

“Well now, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard anybody say  _ that, _ ” said an amused feminine voice. Peter and Harry looked up quickly to see a lavender rabbit woman dressed in, appropriately, a purple dress and hat (though the garments were a shade deeper than her fur). 

“Oh! Heh, sorry,” Peter said sheepishly, pushing off the wall and taking a few steps toward the counter that she stood behind. “Almost forgot this was a shop, with actual people in it. Sorry for being weird.”

The rabbit woman waved a hand and smirked. “Ah, don’t apologize. The cold weather ain’t for everyone.” She smiled as she looked them both up and down, leaning a little over the counter to get a better look. “I can't remember the last time I saw fresh faces around here. Where did you come from? The Capitol? You don't look like tourists.”

Peter and Harry exchanged nervous glances. Then Peter said, “Oh, uh, y-yeah! We’re, uh, we’re just visiting for a while. Family just moved out here, so we figured we’d come check out the new digs, y’know?” That was possibly one of the smoothest lies he’d ever come up with, especially on such short notice. He privately congratulated himself with a mental pat on the back. 

The woman’s ears perked up in surprise. 

"Really! Who’re your folks? Most people don’t move here; usually it’s the other way around.” She chuckled. 

Peter winced.  _ Shit.  _ That wasn’t what he’d been counting on.

“Uhhh...well, y’see-”

“Oh, you probably won’t know them; they literally just got here yesterday,” Harry jumped in. “They’ve been real busy unpacking and everything. Probably’ll take them a good week to really get settled in.” 

He gave Peter another side look, and Peter telegraphed him a  _ thank you  _ with his eyes. 

“I see,” said the woman, nodding in understanding. “Well, I hope they settle soon. Maybe I’ll see them around! I always love meeting new people.” She brushed some pleats out of her dress, then folded her hands firmly on the counter in a motion so fluid it seemed likely that she’d been doing it for years. “So! What brings you two to my shop? Just some respite from the cold?" She laughed at her own joke. Peter hurriedly shook his head, holding his hands up in front of him. 

"Oh, no, no!!” he assured her. “We, uh, we were actually wondering if you...might know what there is to do here?” That one wasn’t a total lie; he was interested to learn a bit about this monster town they’d stumbled into. While they were there, they might as well take in some of the local culture. It was only right. 

The rabbit lady clapped her hands together soundly.

"Oh, lots! Grillby's has food, and the library has information. They’re both down that way.” She pointed to the left. “If you're tired, you can take a nap at the inn. It's right next door to my shop -- my sister runs it.”

“That’s so cool,” said Peter with a smile. “I love family-run businesses. They’re so charming.”

“I bet she’d love to hear you say that,” replied the shopkeep with a grin. “Her inn’s the comfiest around. And I can vouch for the charm.” She rolled her neck, cracking it to one side, then continued, “Oh, and if you're bored and got nothing else to do, you can sit outside and watch those wacky skeletons do their thing. There's two of 'em...brothers, I think.” 

“Hey, we know them!” Harry exclaimed excitedly. “We’ve been running into them a ton on the way here.”

The woman smirked again. “Oh, yeah, they’re everywhere,” she said, one ear twitching to the side briefly. “They just showed up one day and...asserted themselves. The town has gotten a lot more interesting since then." 

“I can bet,” Peter laughed. “They’re pretty interesting people.” 

“Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, I’d have to agree with you. One of them, the taller one, I think, is training to be in the Royal Guard. He doesn’t exactly seem like the Royal Guard  _ type  _ to me, if I’m being honest, but hey, if it’s what he’s passionate about, good for him.” 

There it was again. ‘Royal Guard’. They’d heard it mentioned a number of times on the way to Snowdin, but Peter and Harry still had no idea what it actually  _ was.  _ All they knew was that a bunch of dogs were in it, Papyrus wanted to join, and they sometimes wore armor. That was about it. 

“What is that? The Royal Guard,” Harry asked curiously. “We keep hearing about it, but nobody’s told us what it is. Is that like a special club or something?”

The shopkeep gave them both a somewhat disbelieving look, and the boys gulped quietly. Maybe asking what the Royal Guard hadn’t been such a great idea. If it was so well-known, then asking about it was probably a surefire way to out themselves as humans. 

Thankfully, she didn’t call them on it. Instead she said, “Wow, they must not hang around the Capitol much anymore, huh? Probably too busy running around out here in the snow.” She chuckled, then added, “The Royal Guard is the king’s special elite task force. His most trusted companions, assembled into a team after the War. They keep a lookout for humans, whenever one falls down, and they take them back to the Capitol for King Asgore.”

Peter had stopped listening after “the War”. All thoughts immediately zeroed in on those two little words, even as the rest of her explanation continued on. Harry looked as shocked as Peter, quickly turning his head to make eye contact with his friend. Peter gave him back a wide-eyed look, then turned back to the woman and cleared his throat.

“Oh, um, excuse me?”

“Hm? What is it, dear?”

“What, uh… what was that ‘war’ you mentioned just now? What’s that all about?” 

Now the shopkeep fixed them both with her dumbfounded gaze. 

_ Oh, great. Another stupid question. _

“Really?” she asked, and she began to shake her head. “Geez, what are they teaching you kids in schools nowadays? Just disgraceful.” Leaning one hip against the counter, the woman elaborated, “Think back to your history class. A long time ago, humans and monsters lived together on the Surface. When a war broke out, the humans showed no mercy, and the monsters were driven Underground, to the Ruins back in the forest.” 

She was speaking with a casual, practiced air, as if she’d told this story hundreds and hundreds of times. To her, it was second nature, easily recalled knowledge; to Peter and Harry, it was the most staggering revelation of a lifetime.

“W...What?” Peter asked weakly. It was all he could think to say.

“Long story short, we all decided to leave the Ruins and head for the end of the caverns. Along the way, some fuzzy old folk decided they liked the cold and set up camp in Snowdin. Some others preferred a bit more of a damp environment, so they went to Waterfall. Still others wanted some heat, so they settled in Hotland, and the members of the royal court built a city all the way at the end of the caverns. That became the Capitol.” Almost as an afterthought, she added, “Oh, and don't think about trying to explore the Ruins, ‘cause you can’t. The door's been locked for ages.” 

_ Locked? But we came from there,  _ thought Peter, furrowing his brow.  _ Toriel lives there. It can’t be locked.  _

Unless… unless it was only locked from the outside. 

“The king formed the Royal Guard to help enact his plan,” said the woman, apparently not taking much notice of the sickly paleness of their faces, or their stupefied expressions. “Once everything is ready, we’ll storm the Surface and reclaim the life that’s rightfully ours.” She gave a little sigh as she idly stroked one of her velvety ears. “For now, though, down here, life is the same as usual. A little claustrophobic. But…” She looked back up at them with a tiny smile. “We all know deep down that freedom's coming, don't we? As long as we got that hope, we can grit our teeth and face the same struggles, day after day.” The rabbit woman chuckled softly. “That's life, ain't it?" 

The boys were silent as they digested this new information. 

Monsters...and humans...had once lived together? Up on the Surface? 

_ But then the war happened, and…the monsters were forced under here. Under the mountain. By humans. _

There had never been any mention of such a War taking place in their school curriculums. Not a single reference to the cohabitation of the two species, or even the very existence of monsters. It was like all the records of the past had been wiped away.

But  _ why?  _ Why pretend that it had always only been humans living on the Surface? Why act like monsters were only creatures of fairytale? Didn’t anyone care about preserving the history?

Then again…history was written by the victors. Perhaps the victors had wanted to ensure that they remained as such for all time. Erasing the very existence of the monster race, and thus, the heinous acts of the War, would allow for humans to be painted as the sole protagonists -- and the  _ heroic  _ protagonists -- in the story of Earth’s history. And if that left the monsters as a forgotten footnote all the way at the bottom of the page, well, so be it. 

_ Oh, God. What have we done? _

They likely would have stayed in shocked silence for a good while longer, but in the back of their minds they knew they couldn’t just stand in the shop forever. So, shaking his head to clear it, Peter forced himself to smile and said, "That’s...wow. I can’t believe we didn’t know all that, heh. School really is going downhill these days.” Turning to go, he added, “Uh, thanks for all your help! We really appreciate you taking the time to chat with us." 

The woman smiled and lifted a hand in a jovial wave. 

"My pleasure. Always feel free to stop in again if the mood strikes you, alright? Have a good time in our town, boys; don't be strangers!" 

“Thank you!”

With that, Peter and Harry left the store, still incredibly deep in thought. 

Peter, glancing down, took a quick second to touch the yellow star that sat outside the shop, and the deep voice said, "The sight of such a friendly town fills you with determination." Normally it would have cheered him considerably to hear such a cute, happy message from their mysterious, omnipotent friend, but he was far too ensconced in dread to take much notice. 

He turned to look at Harry, and finally he spoke.

"I...didn't know that," he said quietly. 

"Neither did I," Harry confessed. His expression was troubled and grim. “Why were we never told about this? This is huge. It changes the entire history of the world as we know it." 

“I know. And I think that might be a good part of why.”

Harry tilted his head.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if humans back then were anything like humans are today, they probably wanted to be remembered in a favorable light. Committing atrocities against a people your species coexisted peacefully with for centuries doesn’t look very good in a history book, does it?” 

Harry’s eyes widened as it began to dawn on him.

“Oh, shit. You think…?”

Peter nodded ruefully.

“What better way to smooth over a war than to pretend it never happened? With the monsters banished down here, there’s no one to tell humanity otherwise. Even now, hundreds of years later, modern humans can’t right the wrongs of our ancestors because they don’t even know there  _ was  _ a wrong.” It was practically too mind-boggling to conceive. But it was the only explanation that made sense. The humans had forgotten the monsters, and any who once did remember were long gone. 

“Shit,” Harry said again, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. “Now I know why everyone wants to kill us.”

“Yeah,” Peter muttered, lowering his head. “I guess I’d be pretty mad, too.”


	17. The Residents of Snowdin Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry meet some of the other monsters in Snowdin Town on their way through, including Monster Kid, Grillby, and the extremely buff Ice Wolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I was so close this time,,,,so close. Just an hour after Saturday ended ;-; Hopefully that means next week will be actually on Saturday, haha. 
> 
> Damn man we are This Close to the big Papyrus battle. That's gonna be fun, oh boy oh boy!! And then after that,,,the Date :3c

As much as the gravity of what they’d just learned from the kindly rabbit shopkeep still weighed heavy on their minds, eventually the two agreed that standing around outside the store would be just as unproductive as standing around  _ inside  _ the store. They couldn’t do anything about it now, while they were still in the Underground, so they would only have to double their efforts to get out of the mountain and find a way to expose the truth -- the truth that had been purposely obscured for centuries -- to the people on the Surface. It would probably take an incredible amount of work, but...what else could they do? It didn’t feel right, just leaving with the intent of forgetting everything they’d seen.

No, that wouldn’t do at all. They may have started with the (mostly) simple goal of getting home, but now they were smack in the middle of something much bigger than them. They had the very unique power of having experienced both the Surface and the Underground, something it seemed no human or monster had done for ages, and as Peter’s Uncle Ben had once said,  _ With great power comes great responsibility. _ Somehow, one way or another, Peter and Harry resolved to bring justice to the monsters. 

Although this newfound goal was somewhat staggering, even after affirming to both themselves and each other that it was what they had to do, Peter and Harry strove to put the immense weight of it on the backburner for a little while; until they got out of the mountain, at least. After all, they  _ did  _ still have the issue of getting back to the Surface before they could start working to free the people below it. 

Wandering through the rest of Snowdin Town, the boys had the opportunity to meet quite a few of the rest of the very colorful residents who called the little community their home. 

For instance, at one point as they went along, a young rabbit-boy motioned them over from where he stood by another cozy little building. When they obligingly approached and asked what was up, he leaned in and lowered his voice and whispered, "Do you see that lady over there?”

Peter looked over to where the young monster had gestured with his head. It appeared he was referring to another rabbit-person, this one female, wearing a green sweater and holding a long leash that looped around...another...rabbit? But this rabbit looked like an actual rabbit, not an anthropomorphic one. Huh. That was kind of strange, they supposed. 

“Her?”

“Yeah. Something about her disturbs me. She's, like...creepy." The rabbit boy shuddered and his features twisted somewhat.

“Is she walking a pet  _ rabbit _ ?” asked Harry. “Am I seeing that right?”

The monster nodded, wrinkling his nose.

“Uh-huh. That’s her little brother. She takes him out on a kid leash all the time.”

Oh. Well, that made it even weirder than if it were her pet. Good to know.

“Oh, God,” Peter said. “I always hated kid leashes. They just seem kinda degrading to me, I dunno.” He’d never personally experienced one, thank God -- Aunt May and Uncle Ben had never seen the need -- but occasionally he saw kids and their parents using them around the various city parks, and each time it gave him a weird vibe. 

_ Sure, energetic kids need to be reined in, but with a literal rein? I don’t know. _

“I don’t talk to her much,” the monster finished, leaning back against the nearby building. “I’m worried she might put  _ me  _ on a leash, too.”

Peter and Harry chuckled sympathetically.

“Don’t worry, buddy,” Peter reassured him. “I don’t think she’ll do that. I’m pretty sure that would be considered a crime.”

“That’s a relief.” The rabbit-boy’s shoulders sagged as if a weight had been lifted off them. 

Having calmed the young monster’s apprehensions at least somewhat, Peter and Harry gave him a friendly wave and took their leave. There was plenty more town to explore, after all. As they passed the woman who’d been the topic of conversation just a moment ago, Peter happened to make accidental eye contact with her while trying to surreptitiously sneak one more glance, and she immediately lit up and began to chatter.

“Isn't my little Cinnamon just the cutest?" she gushed, even as they continued to hurry past. "Bun-buns are so adorable...tee-hee! Bun-bun-bun-bun-bun!" She clapped her hands exuberantly. 

“Ah...yeah!” Peter called over his shoulder, speeding up his pace another notch. “Yeah, they sure are cute! Sorry, we can’t stay to chat -- bye!”

When they were out of range of the admittedly somewhat strange rabbit-woman, the boys slowed down to their normal pace again. The kid had been right; there was something just a  _ little  _ off-putting about her.

Nearing the center of town, they came upon a stout, rounded Christmas tree with vivid green nettles, surrounded by a red tree skirt and a considerable mound of presents. 

“Is this a Christmas tree?” wondered Harry, reaching out and brushing one of the branches with the tips of his fingers. The monsters were a little early on that front. It wasn’t quite Christmastime yet; there were still two months or so until then (although all the stores and other businesses would undoubtedly begin playing holiday carols as soon as the calendar hit November 1st). 

“Huh, I dunno. It looks like it,” said Peter. “I didn’t know the monsters celebrated Christmas.” He wondered if the holiday was actually called Christmas, or if it was something else entirely that happened to have similar customs to its Surface counterpart. 

Now that he thought about it more, how would the monsters even know what Christmas  _ was _ ? Depending on the year that the War happened, he supposed it would have been possible that Christmas had been around while they were still on the Surface, but otherwise…

He shook his head. Analyzing the probability of the monsters knowing and celebrating Christmas as they themselves knew it was not of the utmost importance right then. 

He still wanted to know, though. He wanted to know very badly. As much as he knew it to be utterly ridiculous, Peter also knew that if he didn’t get a straight answer as to how it could be that such a human holiday existed Underground, it would nag at him far beyond the time when they actually made it out of the mountain. It might even haunt him forever. So, feeling a bit silly as he did and pushing that feeling down, he tapped the shoulder of the nearest monster - a blue-furred bear child with a comfy-looking sweater. 

“Hey, excuse me?”

The bear, looking surprised, turned around from where they were placing another present beneath the tree. 

“Oh! Yes?”

“Sorry to bother you,” Peter began, “and this is probably a really stupid question, but this is gonna bother me forever if I don’t ask.” He gestured to the tree. “What’s this for?”

The little bear tilted their head.

“You don’t know?” they asked. 

“We’re, uh, not from Snowdin, heh. We’re trying to get more of a feel for the local customs.” Peter grinned hopefully. 

The bear smiled and rocked back on their knees. 

“Oh! That makes sense. I guess most folks outside Snowdin don’t have these.” They looked up the length of the tree before turning back to Peter and replying, “See, there’s a monster who lives around here named Gyftrot. A long time ago, a bunch of teenagers decided to prank it by decorating its antlers and head with all sorts of shiny stuff and pretty baubles. That made Gyftrot really mad, so as a sort of way to try and appease it, the residents of Snowdin started choosing one tree to decorate in a similar way, and then left presents underneath the tree for it.” The bear patted the present in front of them. “That way, Gyftrot won’t be as upset. It really likes presents.”

That had not been the explanation Peter and Harry had been expecting whatsoever. The idea of a scorned, decorated monster inspiring a tradition so much like Christmas was almost too coincidental -- almost laughably so -- but not  _ entirely  _ unbelievable. Things in the Underground, they’d learned a long time ago, were almost never as they initially seemed.

“Wow, I didn’t know that,” Peter said. “That makes sense, though, I guess. I hope Gyftrot likes its presents.” He smiled, and the bear returned it.

“I’m sure it will. Especially mine; I got it hoof wax this year.”

“If I was a monster with hooves, I’d definitely appreciate that.”

They were about to say goodbye to the bear and let them continue their very important Christmas-like work, but before they could get a word out, a loud, somewhat shrill voice shot through the air directly at them.

“Yo!!! New guys!!”

The two jumped, turning with wide eyes to see a small, yellow lizard-like monster running toward them with a huge grin plastered on their face. There was a small row of spikes trailing down their head, and, strangest of all, they appeared to have no arms to speak of. 

The little monster skidded to a halt right in front of them, panting slightly but still looking incredibly excited.

"Yo!!” they said again. 

“Uh...yo!” Peter replied, smiling a bit unsurely. He hadn’t seen a monster this enthusiastic to see them since Papyrus. “What’s up, little dude? Everything good?”

“Yeah! Yeah, everything’s great!” exclaimed the monster, their reptile tail swishing behind them. “I haven’t seen you guys around before, and I overheard that you’re new in town! What’re you doing here? How come you decided to visit Snowdin? Where did you come from? Are you kids like me? You’re kinda tall, but you don’t look like grownups!”

The monster was speaking so fast that their excited questions flowed right into one another with almost no breaks in between. It was a little hard to keep up, but Peter and Harry did their best. 

“Oh, uh, yeah, we’re new here,” said Harry, bobbing his head. “We’re visiting relatives who just moved here from the Capitol. Wanted to make sure they settled in alright, y’know, help them out if they need it.” He laughed a little. “And, uh, we’re not  _ kids _ , exactly, but we’re teenagers. We’re taller than you, but we’re a lot shorter compared to other h-” He paused, forcibly swallowing the words he’d been about to say.  _ Don’t be an idiot,  _ he scolded himself. “-Compared to our folks,” he finished, smiling sheepishly.  _ Whew. _

“Oooooh! That’s so cool!!” squealed the monster, hopping from foot to foot and grinning up at them. “I’ve always wanted to see the Capitol! I heard it’s really fancy there!” Peter opened his mouth to reply, but the young monster was already barreling on to the next topic. “And I KNEW it! I  _ knew  _ you were kids, just like me!! I could tell ‘cause of your clothes.” They puffed their chest out proudly. 

The boys cocked their heads. 

"You can tell by our clothes?" 

“Uh-huh!! Only kids wear shirts that way,” they said, nodding toward Harry’s untucked shirt that hung somewhat messily below his sweater, then at Peter’s loose-fitting, unbuttoned blue overshirt. “Adults always wear really formal business clothes. Kids get to wear  _ cool  _ stuff.”

Well, couldn’t argue with that logic. Plus, it felt nice to Peter to have his clothes called ‘cool’ for once. He always knew the unbuttoned-shirt-over-other-plain-shirt look would come back in style some day. Suck on that,  _ Flash.  _

“Hey, thanks!” Peter said. “Your outfit’s pretty cool, too.”

The monster wiggled in delight as they looked down at their brown and yellow striped shirt. 

“Wow, thanks!!! Stripes are my favorite,” they said happily. Then their eyes widened to a comically large size, and they gasped as a sudden thought apparently occurred to them. “Oh!! Hey, I never even introduced myself! That’s so lame of me!” Clearing their throat, they straightened up a little more and said, “I’m Monster Kid! It’s nice to meet you!” 

“Oh! Monster Kid...that’s your name? Monster Kid?” Peter asked. He wanted to make sure he’d heard correctly. ‘Monster Kid’ sounded more like a particularly no-effort nickname than an actual legal name, but hey, maybe in the Underground it was like ‘John’.

“Yup!! That’s me!” said Monster Kid. “What’re your names?” 

Before either Peter or Harry could introduce themselves properly, though, Monster Kid picked their head up and swiveled it around, intently listening as if hearing something only they could register. Then their expression became scrunched up, and they slumped their shoulders grumpily.

“Awww  _ man _ ,” they moped. “My mom’s calling me. I gotta go, dudes.” They turned back to the human boys and gave them another smile. “But hey, it was really cool meeting you!! I’m sure we’ll hang out again soon, right?” 

“Oh, uh, yeah!” Peter agreed. “Yeah, it was nice meeting you, too.” He almost extended a hand for Monster Kid to shake, then realized that would be incredibly insensitive and stopped himself just in time. He smiled back at them and instead said, “Yeah, totally. You’ll probably see us around here and there, heh.”

“Awesome!!! Can’t wait!” 

Monster Kid hopped in place for a few moments, and then they turned and began to sprint off in the opposite direction. “Later, dudes!!” they called over their shoulder. Unfortunately, this meant they weren’t looking where they were going, and a moment later they face-planted into the snow. 

Peter and Harry yelped and got ready to rush over to make sure their new friend was okay, but there was no need -- Monster Kid quickly hopped back up like nothing had happened, shook themself free of snow, and merrily went on their way. 

“Well, they’re a fun monster to hang out with,” Peter said to Harry once Monster Kid had gone, smiling fondly. 

Harry grinned. “Yeah. They kinda remind me of you.”

“Of me??”

“Yeah. You both talk a mile a minute when you get excited about something.”

Peter had no rebuttal for that. He was right. 

“I hope we do end up seeing them again. We didn’t even get to introduce ourselves.”

“I have a feeling we will,” Harry said, ambling off toward the far end of town once again. “Something tells me a kid like them doesn’t spend all their time in Snowdin.”

“True enough.”

The next monster they happened to end up in a conversation with was a much larger, much browner bear wearing a very shiny red jacket. Peter was kind of jealous of whatever fabric the jacket was made of, and that he hadn’t had any when making his Spidey suit. That shit would’ve sparkled in the sun.

Somehow they’d gotten on the subject of Snowdin Town’s inner workings, likely due to the boys’ continuing cover story of “our relatives moved here and we’ve never seen Snowdin before”. The bear was more than happy to fill them in on how things worked. 

"This town doesn't have a mayor," he was saying, "but if there are any problems, a skeleton will tell a fish lady about it. Thaaaaat's politics!" He chuckled, and the boys laughed a bit as well, despite having absolutely no clue what that meant. They understood the skeleton part well enough, but the second half was throwing them off.

_ Fish lady??  _

"Hey, if you’re looking for more local culture,” the bear said amiably, “why don't you boys check out Grillyby's? It’s right here.” He gestured behind him at the building they were chatting in front of. “Lots of folks hang out there on their down time, and it’s got great food to boot.” 

That sounded like a good idea to Peter and Harry. They were pretty hungry after walking for such a long time. And getting more of the local culture was something they were pretty interested in, so it was a win-win.

"Oh, that sounds great! I think we will check it out, thanks," Peter said cheerfully. The bear gave a friendly nod, and they made their way inside the restaurant.

Right off the bat, they noticed that a few patrons looked very familiar.

"Hey, Pete, look! It's those dogs!" Harry exclaimed in somewhat of a whisper, somewhat of a shout. “Doggo, and Dogamy and Dogaressa! And the dogs in the armor!" All of the dogs were gathered around one high table, laughing and occasionally woofing. It looked like they were playing some sort of card game.

_ Even guard dogs need time off,  _ Peter thought.

"Oh yeah! I hope they don’t mind us being here.” Thankfully, it seemed they were too absorbed in their game to notice the two humans entering their local haunt.

Behind the bar there was a man with a flame for a head. Just...an entire, constantly-burning flame in the shape of a perfect tear-drop. Glasses were perched on his intangible face through some inexplicable means, and he adjusted them every so often as he polished glasses and took orders.

As they drifted around, slowly making their way toward the bar and, hopefully, food, the boys could make out random, short snippets of conversation from the din surrounding them. 

"Human food...disgusting. I'd like to try it sometime."

"I definitely want to see some city slickers slip onto their butts!" 

"...She's rude, loud, and beats up everybody who gets in her way..." 

"I want to be like Undyne when I grow up, too!" 

"I'm literally going to make out with a fish."

Peter was dying to get more information on that last one. He assumed the monster speaking was referring to a fish  _ monster,  _ not a literal fish, but it still sounded completely wild out of context. He restrained himself, though. Better not to call too much attention to themselves, if at all possible.

They stayed at Grillby’s for a while, eventually ordering some fries from the bartender (who they figured out was actually Grillby, the proprietor of the establishment). They ate at the bar and tried to make conversation with the flame-headed monster, but he wasn’t very chatty, so they eventually lapsed into silence. Well, silence, plus quiet crunching and the occasional stomach growl. 

When they were finished they left a tip for Grillby and exited the restaurant, wanting to get a move on. Now that their hunger had been mostly satisfied, Peter and Harry felt a little more relaxed. Perhaps it was just the comforting feeling of food in the belly, but it seemed to them that everything was just a bit less intimidating now. Snowdin Town was nice; if the rest of the Underground had little communities like this one, the rest of their journey would be much more pleasant.

They walked down the main road, past several other monsters having their own conversations, until they came to what appeared to be the edge of town. There was a big, buff, black-furred wolf standing by an ice-dispensing machine on its hind legs, tossing huge ice cubes into the water where the land left off. It didn’t appear to have any reason to be doing so; it was just kind of...doing it. It was very methodical, swiveling back and forth between the machine and the water, grunting with every block of ice that it heaved into its arms.

“Wow,” Peter marveled. “You’ve probably gotta be pretty strong to do that constantly.”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed. “And good resistance to cold.”

“Ice Wolf very strong,” huffed the wolf, and Peter and Harry hopped back a bit in surprise. They hadn’t realized that the monster had heard them. 

“Oh! Yeah, you are,” said Peter. “But, uh...may I ask why you’re doing that? If that’s okay? I’m kinda curious, to be honest.”

Ice Wolf didn’t look away from their task as they spoke. 

“Ice Wolf throw ice because that all Ice Wolf know.” 

It was a simple answer. Simple, and kind of sad.

“That’s...all you know?” Peter repeated, cocking his head. 

“That what Ice Wolf said.”

Ice Wolf tossed another frozen cube into the river and watched it float away for only a second before returning to their duty. “Ice Wolf only one who throw ice. If Ice Wolf don’t throw ice, who will?”

“I...guess that’s a good point.” 

They weren’t quite sure what else to say. Ice Wolf appeared to be done talking, so after standing there a bit awkwardly for a short time, Peter and Harry turned to go. Ice Wolf’s area was a dead end, so it seemed they had gone the wrong way.

"I think I saw another path that way," Harry said, jerking his thumb back the way they'd come.

"Alright! Let's go." 

They looped back around and started off down the other path, and soon came to a two-story log cabin where two mailboxes sat outside. One was practically overflowing with mail, and the other was completely empty. Upon closer inspection, Harry saw that the one that had all the mail belonged to Sans, and Papyrus’s was the one devoid of anything. 

"Hey, we found their house!" Peter exclaimed. "I wonder if they're home."

“I kind of wanna check, but something tells me they’re still out setting up puzzles and things,” Harry said. “We’ll probably run into them again at least one more time before we leave Snowdin.” Peter nodded. 

"True. Let's keep going, then." 

Together, the boys walked on past Sans and Papyrus’s house, down the road would eventually lead them out of Snowdin Town.


	18. A Mysterious Blizzard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry try to make their way out of Snowdin Town, but end up caught in a vicious blizzard. But who is the mysterious figure in the center of the storm? 
> 
> Papyrus. It's Papyrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey lads, look who got it up just a few minutes before Sunday BD
> 
> This one is suuuper short, like shorter than normal, and I apologize for that - there's two reasons. 1. There's been some very rough family stuff going on this week, so I haven't had as much time to expand upon my original chapter this time, and 2. I don't wanna smoosh together this chapter and the next one because I have a very specific layout and don't wanna end up with 79 chapters instead of 80. That's purely my OCD talking asdfghjk. 
> 
> But!! I hope you enjoy nonetheless!! Thanks for bearing with me as always (:

Peter and Harry noticed that as they walked along this new path, the path that would presumably end up taking them all the way home, a sudden blizzard began to pick up seemingly out of the blue. There was no warning. Just...one minute the way ahead was clear; the next, a storm the likes of a New York City winter could only  _ hope  _ for was raging, and they were right in the center. Snow and tiny, miniscule shards of ice whipped around them in eddies, cutting through their thin clothing with a startling intensity. 

Harry shivered and tried to make out something,  _ anything  _ on the path in front of them, but it was nearly impossible due to the sheer amount of whiteness. He could barely even see his own two feet. The only reason he hadn’t lost track of Peter was because they were huddled so close together in a vain attempt to garner some warmth. 

"I c-c-can't see anything," Harry said, teeth chattering. He was convinced that by the time they finally got home his sweater would be worn down to its threads, judging by all the frantic arm-rubbing he’d been doing (which barely helped at all, anyway). 

"N-Neither can I," Peter gasped. "Th-This blizzard...it came out of nowhere!" 

Peter squinted his eyes and focused as hard as he could through the howling wind and rabid flurries. Finally, up ahead, perhaps not more than thirty feet in front of them, he could  _ just  _ make out a faint outline. The outline darkened into a more recognizable figure the closer they got to it, and when they were almost face-to-face, the boys realized who else was in the center of the storm.

"Papyrus?" Peter murmured. 

"Humans," Papyrus said, his voice projecting loudly and clearly through the snow. He sounded uncharacteristically serious. "Allow me to tell you about some complex feelings. Feelings like...the joy of finding more pasta lovers. The admiration for another's puzzle-solving skills. The desire to have cool, smart people think you are cool." 

Peter and Harry found themselves smiling despite the harsh conditions around them. It appeared Papyrus was finally coming to terms with the fact that he didn’t really want to capture them, after all.

_ It’s about time! _

“Papyrus, we totally hear you,” Peter said, taking another difficult step forward. “And we wanna tell you that-”

But Papyrus continued, cutting Peter off. "These feelings...they must be what you are feeling right now!!!" he exclaimed. Peter and Harry paused and gave each other a bewildered glance.

“Wha?” 

Well, it was true that the two of them had come to greatly appreciate Papyrus for the strange, silly, somewhat ridiculous person that he was, but they’d been pretty certain he was talking about  _ his  _ feelings about  _ them  _ just now. Actually, Peter was still, like, 95% sure he had been, but felt the need to cover it up with a display of grandeur. Yes, that was probably what was going on. Papyrus was a very proud person; it might take a bit of coaxing yet to get him to drop the act.

"I can hardly imagine what it must be like to feel that way," the skeleton went on, and they could vaguely see him placing a hand on his chest. "After all, I am very great. I don't ever wonder what having lots of friends is like. I pity you...lonely humans…” There was a long pause, and a somewhat charged silence hung in the air as Papyrus shifted from foot to foot. 

“Papyrus,” Peter tried again, but Papyrus apparently shook off whatever was bothering him, as he straightened back up and put his hands on his hips.

”Worry not!! You shall be lonely no longer! I, the Great Papyrus, will be your..." 

The boys waited, wide-eyed, as another (considerably shorter) pause occurred. Was it happening? Would he confess his true feelings after all?

Papyrus stared ahead through the whirling, swirling snow storm straight at them - or, at least, that’s what they assumed he was doing, since his outline suggested as much. Then, he shook his head vehemently and let out a frustrated sigh.

"....No, this is all wrong! I can't be your friend!!” he said, and his voice sounded almost complaining. “You are humans! I must  _ capture  _ you!!!” That wasn’t exactly what they’d been hoping to hear. 

“What!? No, Papyrus, that’s not true!” Peter yelped, shielding his eyes against the icy debris. “Come on, stop deluding yourself! You don’t have to pretend, it’s okay!” He felt himself stumble but managed to pick himself back up immediately, refusing to be knocked down by the blizzard. Not now.

“You don’t really wanna do this, buddy,” Harry called, and he tried his best to aim a friendly smile at the skeleton, though it was extremely hard to be sure he was actually facing Papyrus and not a random direction. “C’mon, it’s us. You know us. And we’re pretty sure we know you.” Harry stuck his arms up under his armpits in a last-ditch effort to keep them from reddening in the cold. “Let’s go somewhere and have a talk, okay?” 

For a while, there was silence again. Papyrus’s blurry figure made clear signs of hesitation: head swiveling, glancing around hurriedly; feet shuffling and kicking up tiny snow eddies; hands fluttering from hip to head and back again like nervous, uncertain birds. It appeared they’d gotten through to him. 

Then Papyrus dropped his hands by his side and staggered his stance, leaning forward slightly in the way that bulls did before they were about to rush a matador. Peter and Harry paled.

_ Oh, that’s probably not good. _

“No...you don’t understand!” Papyrus shouted. “I’ve got!! To DO this!!” He sighed heavily. “I’ve enjoyed our romps, humans, but...this is what I must do! I must capture you, and send you to the Capitol! I will be celebrated and recognized as a full-fledged guardsman! Then, I can fulfill my lifelong dream!!! Powerful! Popular! Prestigious! That's Papyrus!!” His voice echoed forcefully around the wind tunnel created by the raging storm, bouncing around like a rubber ball until it was all Peter and Harry could hear. “The newest member... _ of the Royal Guard! _ " 

They barely had time to even think before the previously obscured figure was running at them, rushing headlong like a tackle football player and growing in size and clarity by the second. By the time Peter had the presence of mind to get a word or two out - the words being “Aw, nuts” - Papyrus was upon them. 


	19. Bonetrousle: Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The confrontation with Papyrus begins! Will Peter and Harry succeed in bringing him around to his senses, or end up captured and sent to the Capitol?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! I'm so sorry this chapter's getting up so late in the week. As I said last time, my family has been going through a very tough time, and with the sudden outbreak of this pandemic, it's been slow-going thanks to stress, adjustments, and bouts of sadness. However, I'm happy to inform you that I'll be trying my very hardest not to let stress continue to keep me from doing what I love; I truly enjoy editing and posting stories for you all, so that's what I'm going to do!! No matter what. And I have to say, I'm very proud of how this chapter came out, despite the large delay. 
> 
> I hope you're all staying safe and healthy and happy, and I also hope that my story can maybe bring a smile to your face if you need one <3

Peter waited until Papyrus was mere inches away before snagging Harry and leaping as far as he could out of the way. Papyrus predictably raced right past, unable to gain quick and reliable traction on the snowy ground. He dug his feet in and skidded to a stop a few feet from where the boys had originally been standing, and when he turned around his hands were on his hips again. 

“Hey, no fair!” he whined. “You’re very fast!!”

“It’s one of my best features,” replied Peter a bit breathlessly, shooting Papyrus a smile. Despite the situation they’d found themselves suddenly thrust into, Papyrus was still their friend -- even if he didn’t want to admit it -- and Peter wasn’t about to start acting the tough guy just because of a little altercation. He had no doubt that they’d talk him back to his senses; all it would take was a little time. And dodging, probably. Quite a bit of dodging.

As if Papyrus had somehow read Peter’s thoughts, from out of the ground there erupted several shin bones, and they raced together toward the boys in a manner similar to a rolling wave; a solid mass of literal bones surging at them as they undulated up and down, rising to a crest and then smashing down as though crashing on an invisible shore. Peter and Harry managed to jump over them just before they hit, narrowly avoiding being tripped up by the tail end of the attack. The bones instantly vanished once they made contact with the ground -- something Peter would have been fascinated to figure out the logistics of, but of course, being engaged in combat at the moment, he could not. 

"Papyrus, as much as I admire your very appropriately-themed attacks,” Peter puffed, “I really think there’s a much better solution to this. Why don’t we sit down in a nice little circle and talk it out?” Another bone sailed over his head and he yelped, ducking. “It always worked in middle school!!”

“I already graduated middle school!” Papyrus said indignantly. “Sit-down circles won’t work anymore!”

That wasn’t the best logic, but they didn’t have time to point it out as another wave of bones rose up beneath them, forcing them to jump lest they get knocked to the ground. 

Upon landing (somewhat unsteadily) on their feet, Harry glanced up at Papyrus to see what his next move would be. It just so happened that as he did this, his left eye twitched a little. Not the way it did when his father went on one of his _ you need to work harder or I’m disowning you _speeches; just a slight spasm, probably from the stress of avoiding getting a beat-down from someone he was desperately hoping to end up friends with. It probably would have gone completely unnoticed and uncommented-on had Papyrus not been staring intently at the two of them as he readied his next attack. But he was, and he did notice, and immediately his demeanor changed from focused and battle-ready to completely and utterly flabbergasted.

“WHAT IS THIS?!” he gasped, stumbling back a bit as he lost all concentration on the task at hand. “Flirting?! I never expected you to be so _ bold! _” 

Peter and Harry exchanged a bewildered glance with one another. 

“Uh...what?” Harry called. He wondered what Papyrus could possibly be referring to. Neither of them had made any sort of flirtatious gesture toward the skeleton, so this was coming completely out of nowhere.

“Don’t be coy!” Papyrus shouted, aiming an accusatory finger at Harry. “You winked! At me!! I saw it!” 

Harry choked, and it took him a good few seconds to get all his thoughts all in order. Sputtering, he managed to get out, “W-Wha? Winked?? Dude, what are you _ talking _about?” 

He tried to wrack his brain for anything that could have possibly been mistaken for a wink, and all he could come up with was the brief eye twitch from moments before. But there was no way in hell Papyrus could’ve _ really _ thought that had been intended as flirting...right? _ Right? _

“So! You finally reveal your _ ULTIMATE FEELINGS!” _Papyrus continued, paying no heed to Harry’s clear confusion and affirming that he had, indeed, taken the subtle twitch for a sultry wink. “W-Well, you have done so in vain! I'm a skeleton with very high standards!" He seemed to be getting flustered now, the cheekbones of his skull pinkening and his eye sockets shifting back and forth. Apparently Harry’s simple, tiny, unconscious eye movement had sent an accidental message loud and clear, and Papyrus had received it.

Harry shared another disbelieving look with Peter, who kept looking back and forth between his best friend and the sputtering skeleton as if waiting for a punchline. Harry himself wouldn’t have been surprised if Papyrus suddenly began to laugh and shout “HAH!! AS IF!!” But the more he looked at the monster across the way, wringing his hands and shuffling his feet and moving his head all about, the more he realized that he was being completely serious. 

_ Oh my God. He really thinks I’m flirting with him. _

This was...surreal. 

It wasn’t that Harry didn’t like Papyrus. Okay, well, he didn’t like him in _ that _way; he liked him like he liked Peter: a good friend, someone to hang out and joke around with (hopefully). A platonic pal. The point was, he liked him a lot, just not in any romantic way. 

That wasn’t what was so wild to him about this misunderstanding, though. 

Harry had been flirted with and asked out by people he wasn’t romantically interested in before, and he’d had no trouble politely and kindly turning them down. It didn’t happen often, but once in a while a guy or girl would make gaga eyes at him, and he’d have to explain that he appreciated the interest, but after the Flash Debacle (long story), he was taking a break from the dating scene. No hard feelings, obviously.

Anyway, all those people had been humans. Human teenagers who lived and grew up in the same environment Harry did. The sheer confusion that came with this particular situation stemmed mainly from that fact that Papyrus was **a** . A monster, so technically a completely different species, and **b** . Of unknown age. He was tall, like a young adult or adult, but his mindset and personality appeared more like those of a preteen or younger teenager. Harry supposed that, since he was a skeleton made up of _ human _ bones, _ technically _he wasn’t that far off from a real human, so maybe it wasn’t completely weird; and it was true that he was employed and lived on his own with his brother, suggesting he was just a childlike young adult rather than an actual child; but still, this was something completely unexpected.

Also, their previous range of interactions with Papyrus encompassed mainly running, puzzle-solving, and occasional banter; why on Earth would he be even remotely interested in Harry? A human, someone he’d just met a few hours ago, someone he himself insisted he was supposed to capture and turn over for profit?

It just didn’t make sense, was all. Harry didn’t necessarily _ mind _that Papyrus might have feelings for him; it was more just that he was incredibly, incredibly confused. But hey, if things were going down this route...what was the harm in seeing where things went? Papyrus’s focus was clearly far less intense than it had been. If they could get him to think about something else entirely -- say, something like light, silly flirting -- perhaps he’d quit his capturing mindset once and for all, and accept their friendship as he very obviously wanted to do.

_ Maybe I can turn this misunderstanding into our breakthrough. _

It was worth a shot. So, his expression changing fluidly from stark shock to bright cheer, Harry smoothed his hair back in one quick motion and shot Papyrus a more directly flirtatious wink. (Technically it was the first and only wink, as the previous ‘wink’ had just been an eye twitch, but that wasn’t important anymore.) 

“High standards, huh?” he asked, tilting his head. “That’s fair. I get it. I can’t expect you to settle for the first human who flirts with you. But, uh…” He lowered his voice a bit. “Did you know that I’m very well-versed in cooking spaghetti?” 

Peter turned his head to Harry so fast that he practically gave himself whiplash, his eyes as wide as dinner plates. Papyrus put his hands to his head.

"OH NO!” he cried. “You're meeting all of my standards!!" 

“Harry, _ what are you doing? _ ” Peter whispered under his breath, shuffling a bit closer to his friend. “Did you actually flirt with him!?” He shook his head in exasperation. “Dude, we’re in the middle of trying not to get captured! This is no time to suddenly catch feelings! You can explore your romantic options _ after _we get him to calm down!”

“_ Or, _” Harry murmured pointedly, giving Peter a look, “I can take his mind off capturing us with some friendly flirting instead.” 

Peter’s expression instantly became one of understanding. 

“_ Ooooh.” _His face broke into a grin. “You’re a damn genius!!”

“No, I’m just pretty,” Harry said with a smirk. Turning his eyes back to Papyrus, he called, “I bet I could meet all your other standards, too, if you gave me a chance!~”

"O-Oh my,” Papyrus stammered, and the color in his cheekbones darkened. “This is unprecedented!! I guess this means I have to… go on a date with you?" 

Harry cocked his head and reached up to twirl a loose strand of hair around one finger. 

“I dunno. Does it?” 

Papyrus stuttered out a few undecipherable sounds before twisting his upper body to the side, staring down hard at the snow by his feet as though there were something very interesting to be found there. 

"A-Ah!! L-Let's date l-later!" he said, and he snapped his fingers, causing more bones to come up out of the ground and race toward Peter and Harry. 

“Yipe!!”

After Peter managed to get himself and Harry out of range in time, Harry took up his flirting even more valiantly. He absolutely refused to give up. 

"C’mon, Pap! What should I wear for our date? Something loose? Something casual? I’m a flexible guy." 

"Oh no!!" Papyrus cried, shaking his head. "L-Let's date later!" 

Another bony attack, another barely-executed (but still very stylish) dodge maneuver by Peter. 

_ I think we’re getting to be pros at this now, _ thought Peter with a slight smile. _ Most of his patterns are pretty predictable. _

“Papyrus, we don’t wanna fight you,” Harry said, doing his best to maintain an aloof appearance. “I think we should go on a date! Really! Doesn’t that sound like way more fun than standing around in a freezing clearing?”

Papyrus’s face was still a dusty rose, but he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "So you won't fight…” he humphed. 

“Nope.”

The skeleton pondered the situation for a moment or two, and then a big grin split his skull. “Alright! Then let's see if you can handle my fabled 'blue attack'!" He cackled excitedly and raised his arm, sending more bones at the two boys. This time, however, the bones were blue.

_ Blue...that seems familiar. Didn’t somebody tell us something about blue attacks? _

Before Peter could fully recall that specific tidbit of knowledge, the bones were upon them, and he did what he’d done every previous time: he moved himself and Harry out of the way. 

Harry was quickly pushed out of range and thus avoided any contact with the things, but Peter’s leg happened to collide with one of them, and the jolt of pain sent him sprawling on the floor. Harry whipped his head over to his fallen friend in horror, crying out, “Pete!” He ran over to him without a second thought, only wishing to help his friend up and out of the immediate danger zone, and realized far too late that the last of the blue bones were charging straight at him.

_ Oh, God. _

Harry braced himself for the inevitable pain, and possibly even death -- but, incredibly, neither of those things came. When several seconds had passed and he felt no searing agony, he carefully cracked one eye open. Nothing. The bones passed right through them. 

“What the hell?” he couldn’t help but ask with an utterly dumbfounded face. 

“Ooooh, right,” Peter mumbled weakly from his place on the ground. “We gotta...stay still for blue attacks. That’s what Sans said.” It sure would’ve been helpful if he’d remembered that fact _ before _getting hit in the leg with one. 

“That’s right!” Harry gasped. “Holy shit, I remember now. He did say that, didn’t he?”

“Yup. Urgh…”

Harry helped Peter to his feet, asking, "Are you alright?" 

Peter grunted a little. 

"Mm...yeah, I'm fine. Just kinda pissed I didn’t remember Sans’s advice until just now.” He shook his head in disbelief and self-deprecation. “He said it, like, _ twice! _ Get it together, Pete.” 

Together they faced Papyrus again, who appeared to be musing privately to himself. "Hmm...I do wonder what I should wear," he mumbled, low but loud enough for the boys to hear pretty clearly. Harry couldn’t help himself from smiling. 

_ It’s working! _

Papyrus, still clearly distracted, absently sent out another attack, and this one was composed of his regular old white bones. It wasn’t difficult to dodge them. 

After this he took out a jar of what looked like cologne and dabbed it on his skull, right behind where his ears would have been. Harry had to cover his mouth to keep from giggling. When Papyrus noticed the boys looking at him and suppressing smiles, he frowned. 

"What?! I'm not thinking about that date!" he insisted indignantly. “Not at all! And I’m definitely not excited!” 

“Okay,” said Harry in a lilting, singsong voice. 

“Hey!! I _ mean _it!!” 

Another wave of bones came rolling up out of the snow, almost from under their feet, but Peter’s spider sense allowed him to get the both of them well out of the way before any damage could be done. It was nice to have the good ol’ Spidey Sense in times of need, that was for sure. Peter again wondered how he’d ever lived without it.

Papyrus stamped his foot, sucking on his lower jaw before pushing it out in a pout. "Hey! Humans! Don't make me use my SPECIAL attack!" 

“Didn’t you already use your special attack?” Peter asked. “It was pretty cool.”

“No! That was my _ blue _ attack,” explained Papyrus, shaking his head. “That was not my _ special _ attack. My SPECIAL attack is going to _ really _knock your socks off!!”

Peter and Harry gave each other a questioning look. Sans hadn’t warned them about any ‘special attack’; just the blue ones. What did Papyrus have up his sleeve?

"I can almost taste my future popularity!" Papyrus declared, holding his clasped hands up high as though gesturing to an adoring crowd. “‘Papyrus, head of the Royal Guard!’ ‘Papyrus, unparalleled Spaghettore!’ Undyne will be really proud of me!!" He swiveled on his heel, addressing another imaginary audience in addition to Peter and Harry. "The king will trim a hedge in the shape of my smile!!" He turned back to the boys, and the sheer cheerful radiance of his smile was almost blinding. "My brother will!...” He paused. “Well, he won't change very much." 

He shook his head again, and when he spoke again he sounded quite confident. "I'll have lots of admirers!!” Then he fell silent for a moment. All the vigor that had filled his expression slowly faded. “But..." He looked across the clearing at Peter and Harry, and the two felt as though he were looking directly into their souls. His eye contact was that intense. "Will anyone like me as sincerely as you?" 

He looked down at the ground, shuffling his orange-clad feet. "I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone in my life like you before. People like you are really rare..." 

"Oh my God,” Harry whispered excitedly to Peter. We're getting through to him!" Peter nodded imperceptibly with a big smile. Harry was right; it appeared they were finally breaking through to who Papyrus really was. And it seemed like he was finally realizing it, too.

"And dating might be kind of hard...after you're captured and sent away," the skeleton added. 

“I think you’re right,” Harry agreed. “We’d have to have dinner on two sides of a jail cell.” He chuckled lightly. Papyrus laughed a bit, too. 

“It would be very difficult to hang out after that,” he said. “I don’t know if we’d even be allowed to! And that...that would be…”

All at once, like a switch was flipped, he shook his head vigorously, a frown creasing his face. 

"Ugh, who cares? Give up!" 

Peter and Harry’s faces fell in shock as more bones, clustered together in a dense mass, rocketed across the snowy landscape. 

“Shoot!”

He did his best to get Harry out of the way, but this time one of the smaller shin bones happened to nick the wealthy boy’s back, opening up a small tear in his sweater. It only stung a little bit, like a bee sting, but it startled him nonetheless.

“Aww, no!” he complained once he’d steadied himself. “Dad’s gonna be _ so _mad at all the rips and shit in this thing. I’m gonna have to be extra careful not to mess it up more.” Harry wasn’t too happy about the rips, either; he liked this sweater, dammit! It was going to be a pain to get it fixed up by their usual tailor. Maybe Peter could do it for him; Peter was a pretty good seamstress. He’d sewn his own costume, after all.

“Hey, Pete-”

Before he could finish that thought, another horde of bones raced by, just barely missing them. Harry shut his mouth. There’d be time to ask his friend for sewing help later.

In the aftermath of the most recent attack, they could hear Papyrus rattling his bones, like a nervous tic. 

"Humans! Give up or face my...SPECIAL ATTACK!" he barked. "Yeah! Very soon I will use my SPECIAL ATTACK!"

“Papyrus, we’d really rather not,” Peter said pleadingly. “Why don’t we all get back to the subject of that date, huh? I know Harry’s still excited about it!”

“Yeah, Papyrus! Don’t you think we should figure out the best spot?” asked Harry innocently.

There was yet another slew of bones, and Harry and Peter began to worry that maybe Papyrus wasn't going to relent after all. 

"Not too long and I will use that SPECIAL ATTACK!"

“Pap,” Harry said, and his tone was nearly begging. “I know you don’t wanna do this.”

"This is your last chance before my SPECIAL ATTACK!" Papyrus hollered, squaring his shoulders and lifting his chin. 

"Papyrus...please…” 

"Alright, you asked for it!!” the skeleton called. “Behold...! My SPECIAL ATTACK!" He snapped his fingers, and there was a short moment of silent tension as the boys huddled together, waiting for something to happen. 

Suddenly, a small white dog, very similar to the ones they’d met when traveling the path to Snowdin, came trotting into the clearing with a bone in its mouth. Its little tail wagged back and forth at a high speed, and its shiny black eyes were alight with doggish glee. Peter and Harry tilted their heads. Papyrus’s jaw dropped in horror. 

"What the heck? That's my special attack!" he yelled. "Hey! HEY! You stupid dog! Do you hear me?! Stop munching on that bone!" 

The dog turned and began trotting away, either oblivious to Papyrus’s rage or simply not caring. Papyrus stamped his foot down. 

"HEY!! What are you doing?! Come back here with my special attack!!" He whirled around to give chase, but the little canine was too fast, scampering off the way it had come and taking his apparent ‘special attack’ with it. Peter, Harry, and Papyrus watched as the dog disappeared, and then the skeleton heaved a great sigh.

"Oh, well. I guess I’ll just use a really cool regular attack.” He looked to Peter and Harry almost apologetically, as if he felt bad they were being deprived of his incredibly astonishing special attack. “Here's a completely normal attack." He half-heartedly snapped his fingers, and suddenly, a dozen bones came at them from all directions. No warning. One moment there was nothing, and the next they were jumping aside and weaving in between the bones just to avoid getting hit.

“Holy crap!” Peter gasped. “You call that a _ normal _attack!?”

At that moment, the white dog came running back through the clearing, darting past Papyrus and scooting under Peter’s legs. Following behind it were several bones that formed the words "COOL DUDE", and behind _ that _was a small bone riding on a skateboard. By the time the boys figured out just what the hell they had to do to get out of the way of that particular attack and just barely managed to execute it, a huge forest of bones was speeding toward them, so many packed together that all they could see was white. 

There was nowhere to dodge this time; the boys were hit by the insurmountable mass and knocked flat on their backs, several of the residual bones trampling them like a herd of wildebeest. 

"Ooh," Harry mumbled in a daze. Beside him, Peter simply groaned.

Papyrus began to laugh, striding over to the felled humans and standing over them with his hands on his hips gloatingly. 

"Haha!! You were too weak!” he proclaimed. “It was easy to capture you! I will now send you to the capture zone!! Or, as Sans calls it...our garage!!” He stooped down and picked them both up, slinging one boy over each shoulder. At the very least, he was relatively gentle when he did so, but that was somewhat overshadowed by the fact that they’d gone and gotten themselves captured. 

“You're in the doghouse now!! Nyeh heh heh heh heh!" 

That Skeletor laugh was the last thing Peter and Harry heard before blacking out.


	20. Officially Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys escape the garage and confront Papyrus once more, but this time, everything ends a lot better than it did the last time. With Papyrus now officially their friend, it's nearly time for a date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I'm currently incredibly exhausted, but I want you to know ily and I appreciate every single one of you who reads/comments on this story!!! You guys are great and mean so much to me!! Okay that's all I have to say this time <33

Peter and Harry regained consciousness a short time later in a small, dingy-looking room. Peter mumbled groggily and pushed himself up on one elbow, scanning the area to take stock of the situation. Nearby he could see what looked like some pet food in a bowl, a rubbery toy squeaky bone, and a little rectangular pet bed. Beside the bed there was a yellowing note on the floor. A wide, large-gapped gate - very similar to the one they’d encountered soon after leaving the Ruins - guarded the door. Well, “guarded” was a strong word, but it was certainly positioned to try and block it. 

Peter sighed a little.

"He actually got us. Just knocked us right the hell over.”

“Yup,” muttered Harry dryly. “Guess I’m not actually pretty enough to completely win him over.”

He’d been so damn  _ sure  _ they’d gotten through to him. When Papyrus had hesitated that last time, it seemed like they were truly at a turning point. But his sense of duty must have been so strong that it overpowered any emotional struggle he’d been going through. It figured.

Peter got up shakily and, his gaze falling on the note, went over to see what it said. He read aloud, “‘Sorry, I have to lock you in the guest room until Undyne arrives. Feel free to make yourselves at home! Refreshments and accommodations have been provided.’”

Harry looked around at the dog bowls on the floor and scrunched his nose up incredulously.

"Some refreshments," he snorted

Peter continued, “‘Nyehfully yours, Papyrus.’” He sighed again and put the note back down. 

"Well, great,” he said. “Now what do we do? If we don’t figure a way out of here soon, we’re really toast.” 

The way the citizens of Snowdin Town had spoken about this ‘Undyne’ person made him dread to think of actually encountering her. Their meeting would probably end with the two of them shipped off to the Capitol, just like Papyrus had said. 

Just like Toriel had said.

Peter swallowed a lump that was rising in his throat. 

“I don’t know,” said Harry truthfully. “We should probably look for any loose paneling, right? Maybe you can kick it out.” Part of him felt bad for suggesting the destruction of Papyrus’s property, and the other parts scolded him for caring about that when their literal lives were on the line.

Harry pushed himself to his knees with a small grunt and took one more cursory look around the room. Nothing really stuck out to him. It was just a regular old garage. Except…

Except for the conspicuously wide-gapped gate. His eyes went wide.

"Wait," he said, almost not daring to believe it. He slowly approached, walking with incredibly ginger footsteps, and hesitantly reached a hand through the middle gap. For some reason he’d been half-expecting an alarm to go off, or a laser to fire, but nothing of the sort happened. 

_ Why would it? This is Papyrus we’re talking about. He wouldn’t do that. _

Harry almost surprised himself with how much conviction he’d thought this. But...he truly did believe it. Papyrus wasn’t the type to go Mission: Impossible on someone. No matter what he thought, no matter what he said, Papyrus wasn’t ruthless, and he was no killer. In fact, Harry felt certain there wasn’t a single mean bone in his body.

Looking closer at the gate - at its crude, obviously ineffectual gaps, at the clear shot it gave to the unlocked door of the garage - Harry knew then that Papyrus had realized it, too. 

A slow smile spread over his face.

“I knew you were coming around,” he whispered to himself. To Peter, he turned and said excitedly, “Pete, here! Look! The gate’s too wide to stop us!” 

Peter came over to where Harry stood and did a double take when he remembered that, indeed, the slats of the gate were easily passable for their size. He’d seen the gate before, when he first woke up; why had he not immediately realized they could take advantage?

_ Chalk it up to stress, I guess. _

He was absolutely overjoyed. The possibility of freedom was one thing altogether, but the implications that this gate put forward made his heart lift a little higher. This was on purpose. It just had to be. As Harry had realized moments before, Peter now understood that this was Papyrus’s way of giving them a second chance. He may have been too proud to let them go personally, but this gate sent a clear message:  _ Don’t give up. _

Not stopping to look a gift horse in the mouth, the boys hurriedly slipped through the hilariously defunct gate and out the garage door, heading straight for the road that led out of Snowdin. Sure enough, as they’d anticipated, Papyrus was still there, his back turned to them as he gazed across the snowy path. When their footsteps finally alerted him, he whirled around in a flurry of cape and mittens, a loud and over-exaggerated gasp escaping his mouth. 

"Oh my God!!!” he exclaimed, putting his hands to his head in a way that reminded Peter and Harry of that kid from ‘Home Alone’. “How did you escape?!" His voice, always so loud and distinct, lilted up and down in that painfully obvious  _ I’m pretending to be surprised  _ tone. “I am in just utter shock!" Papyrus shouted. "I cannot even imagine the way in which you escaped, humans!!" 

The small smile that peeked through his shocked facade confirmed it all: he'd wanted them to escape. 

"Well, this just will not do!" Papyrus continued. "I will fight and capture you again! Yes, that's what I will do!" 

Peter looked briefly over to Harry, finding that his friend wore the same determined smile he himself had on. This was it, then. Go time.

“Bring it on, Papyrus,” called Harry, flipping his hair back and resting his hands on his hips. “We can take whatever you dish out. And afterwards, I’m still holding you to that date you promised me.”

The pink color rose in Papyrus’s cheeks again, and he stammered out a quick “Ahh! R-Right! Certainly!” before raising his hand in preparation to conjure an attack. 

_ Right back into the fray, huh?  _ thought Peter, dropping into a defensive stance.  _ No problem. If his reaction is anything to go by, I think he’s almost done.  _

And indeed, this time around was noticeably shorter, not to mention less intense, than the initial confrontation with Papyrus. His attacks were slower, and the bone waves contained far fewer bones than they had before. Whether it was due to this factor, or just the fact that the boys knew more of what to expect now, they were able to dodge more efficiently and keep themselves from getting nicked. 

“Hah! We’re old pros at this now, huh, Harry?” Peter chuckled after they’d successfully hopped another tidal wave of tibias. Harry was about to laugh and agree, and then the both of them saw the massive forest of bones barreling down on them for the second time. 

_ Oh. Oh God. Oh shit oh no wait-  _

Acting purely on instinct (and a desire not to fall unconscious again), Peter lashed out and grabbed Harry, then pushed off the ground with all the power his spring-loaded legs could muster. Luckily for the boys they could muster quite a lot, and they remained airborne just long enough to allow all the bones to pass beneath them. 

When they dropped back to earth, they faced Papyrus once again, looking at him expectantly as they huffed a bit from the extreme exertion. So far, things had gone well; they’d even managed to avoid his special attack. Now, once and for all, things were in Papyrus’s court. They could only hope he’d make the right decision.

Papyrus put his hands on his knees and gasped a little, clearly out of breath. Conjuring attacks was probably as exhausting as dodging them, Peter reflected. 

"Well...!" the skeleton huffed. "It's clear...you can't!" He huffed again. "Defeat me!” He straightened himself up, and a familiar cocky smile appeared on his face. This time, though, there was a different quality to it. “Yeah!!” he said. “I can see you shaking in your boots!! Therefore, I, the Great Papyrus, elect to grant you pity!!"

Hearing him say those words injected immediate and euphoric relief into the boys’ bodies, and they could almost feel the remaining tension drain away and evaporate into the chilly air around them. 

“Oh, my God,” Harry murmured with a smile. “He did it.”

"I will spare you, humans!" Papyrus declared formally, raising one hand into the air triumphantly. "Now's your chance to accept my mercy." 

"We accept! We accept!" they called, and just like that, the blizzard that had been howling since the first battle died away to nothing. It was funny; they hadn’t even really noticed the storm when they’d made their way back to this spot, but the redness of their hands and cheeks attested to the fact that it had been there. Perhaps they’d been so focused on the task at hand that it hadn’t registered.

With all danger and obstacles removed, they were able to rush over to where Papyrus stood, his back slightly arched in a slump and his face looking somewhat resigned.

“Papyrus!” Harry exclaimed, his grin wide and bright. “Papyrus, I knew you’d never hurt us. Not really.” A tiny voice at the back of his head laughed at him, laughed at the irony of such words coming from the one who’d been so suspicious of the lanky monster way back when, but he pushed it down and told it to shut up. Yeah, he’d been wrong about Papyrus, and he wasn’t afraid to admit it. Maybe it was ironic; he didn’t care. He was just happy that Papyrus had finally embraced his true self.

“No, human,” said Papyrus, and he smiled lightly and ruffled Harry’s hair. “I cannot bring myself to harm you, even though I tried very hard to. I know Undyne will be upset, but...you are so kind and sincere. It wouldn’t be fair to capture you after all the nice things you’ve done for me.”

He patted Peter on the head as well, then crouched down and put his head in his hands. 

"Nyoo hoo hoo," he sighed. "But that doesn’t change the fact that I can't even stop someone as weak as you two...Undyne's going to be disappointed in me. I'll never join the Royal Guard...and...my friend quantity will remain stagnant!" He hung his head despairingly.

"Hey, Papyrus, that’s not true," Harry said seriously, placing a hand on the dejected skeleton’s shoulder. “That’s not true at all. You have me and Pete, you know. We’re your friends.” 

Immediately, Papyrus lifted his head, and his eye sockets were wide and astounded. 

"Really?!” he gasped. “You want to be friends, with me???” 

“Of course, buddy,” Peter replied, reaching his hand out to Papyrus. “That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you this whole time, you goof.”

Papyrus looked at Peter’s outstretched hand for only a moment before taking it firmly in his own and hoisting himself up, his usual characteristic grin splitting his face.

“Wow! I can hardly believe this!” he gushed. “Well then...I guess...I guess I can make an allowance for you!" 

Peter and Harry couldn’t help but give a little cheer. At last, they’d gotten through to him.

“Thank God, man. I was a little worried we’d have to go through, like, six more puzzles before we could make it official,” Harry laughed. Papyrus laughed as well, clapping his hands.

"Wowie!! We haven't even had our first date...and I've already managed to hit the friend zone!” 

Now Harry groaned, but Peter lit up with delight. 

“Hah! Good one!!”

Papyrus titled his head, still smiling. 

“Good what?”

Peter blinked, opened his mouth, then closed it and waved his hand.

“Uhh, never mind.”

Unfazed by his own obliviousness, Papyrus continued, “Who knew that all I needed to make pals...was to give people awful puzzles and then fight them?? You taught me a lot, humans.” He stepped aside and gestured grandly down the road, which Peter and Harry could now clearly see led into a dark, cave-like entrance. Whatever lay beyond Snowdin Town, and, consequently, the Surface, was through that cave. “I hereby grant you permission to pass through! And I'll give you directions to the Surface, too." 

"Thank you, Papyrus," Peter said gratefully. "We really can't tell you how much this means to us." 

Papyrus nodded and gave them both another smile. The sheer joy they could see emanating from him filled the two with equal amounts of joy. He looked so free and untroubled, like he was somehow lighter than before. Perhaps his internal struggle had been even more of a weight on him than they’d thought. 

"Continue forward from here until you reach the end of the cavern," he said. "Then, when you reach the Capitol, cross the Barrier. That's the magical seal trapping us all Underground.” 

_ The Barrier.  _ That was something Toriel had mentioned, way back when they’d been trying to leave the Ruins. What had she said?  _ ‘You’ll be dead before you reach the Barrier.’ _

That wasn’t a comforting thought. But, hey, hadn’t they been doing okay so far? It hadn’t been a cake walk, but they’d been taking care of themselves pretty decently. And now they had not one, but  _ two  _ skeleton friends to chat and hang out with. Maybe they’d even help them along the rest of the way! 

_ We’ll make it. I promise, Toriel. _   


“Anything can enter through it, but nothing can exit...except someone with a powerful soul,” continued Papyrus. “Like you two!!!”

The boys exchanged a slightly curious look. 

“Powerful soul?” Peter echoed. Now, where had they heard  _ that  _ before?

With a jolt, he realized it had been at the  _ veeeery  _ beginning of this whole journey, back in the place where they’d fallen down. The first time they’d encountered...Flowey.

Peter frowned as he tried to recall the hazy bits and pieces of their initial conversation, but it was no good. So much had happened since then that he couldn’t possibly remember all that the crazy flower had said. All he  _ could  _ remember was that he’d said something along the lines of souls becoming more powerful the more LOVE they had, but...that was all bullshit, wasn’t it? Some nonsense he’d made up to try and trick them into trusting him? Maybe Papyrus could shed some more light on the issue.

“What do you mean by ‘powerful soul’, exactly?”

Papyrus looked a bit surprised. 

“Well, every living being has a soul,” he said. “Humans and monsters alike! But humans have much more potent souls than monsters. Our souls are fragile, and crumble easily!” He picked up a handful of snow and tightened his fist, letting it slowly sprinkle through the cracks. “Monster souls cannot be harnessed because they disintegrate immediately. Human souls, on the other hand, have the ability to persist  _ after  _ death!” He chuckled. “Isn’t that amazing??”

“Holy shit,” Harry muttered. “Is that true?” He’d always thought that a soul was an intangible thing, like an atom or the wind. Something that was  _ there,  _ but not, like,  _ physically.  _ This was almost as staggering as the news that a Great War had happened centuries ago and no currently living humans knew about it. Almost. 

“Of course! That's why the king wants to acquire humans,” Papyrus said. “He wants to open the Barrier with soul power. Then, us monsters can return to the Surface!" 

This revelation left Peter and Harry with a twinge in their stomachs. So, that was why the king would want to kill them. For their souls.  _ Soul power.  _ It sounded like something made up, but both of them knew in their hearts that it was dangerously real. 

Toriel’s warning echoed in their ears again. 

_ “Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. I have seen it again and again. They come. They leave. They die. You naive children… If you leave the Ruins, they...Asgore...will kill you.” _

Those ominous words obtained a startling clarity when looked at again through the lens of this new information. Already there was an unknown number of humans who’d passed this way, and judging from Toriel’s desperate attempt to stop them from leaving, every other one of them had been killed. Killed by the king, killed for their souls. Killed so that monsters could go free.

They wanted the monsters to return to the Surface more than anything. After hearing the tragic tale from the rabbit shopkeep, it was all they could think about, aside from getting home. But was using the souls of dead humans really the only way to make that happen…? They didn’t want to believe it. They refused to. There had to be some other way, and they were going to find it.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you," Papyrus said suddenly, and his tone darkened. Peter and Harry swallowed quietly. 

_ What other bomb is he gonna drop on us?  _ Peter thought weakly.

"To reach the exit, you will have to pass...through the king's castle.”

_ Oh, of course.  _

“The king, huh?” Harry murmured. Papyrus nodded.

“Yes. King Asgore, the king of all monsters. He is..well..." He paused, and the boys waited with bated breath for any number of horrifying descriptors to fall from Papyrus’s mouth. Then, abruptly, Papyrus smiled and returned to his previous cheerful demeanor. "He's a big fuzzy pushover!!!” 

They couldn’t stop themselves from gaping. 

“I’m sorry,  _ what? _ ” 

“Everybody loves that guy! I am certain if you just say, 'Excuse me, Mr. Dreemurr, can we please go home?', he'll guide you right to the Barrier himself!"

Peter tried to reconcile the image of the angry, bitter, bloodthirsty tyrant Toriel had engraved in their minds with this new image being presented. He just couldn’t do it. Was Asgore a murderer, or a maroon?

"Huh?" Harry and Peter asked, dumbfounded.

“Papyrus,” Peter began, “I’m not really sure we unde-”

"Anyway!!" Papyrus exclaimed, clapping his hands. "That's enough talking!! I think we all deserve a nice break. If you need me, I'll be at home being a cool friend!!” He walked past the boys back toward Snowdin, but before he left the area, he spun back around and grinned at Harry. “And feel free to come by and have that date! I’ll be waiting!” 

Harry, somewhat caught off guard, quickly found himself smiling in Papyrus’s direction and a blush creeping onto his cheeks. He’d nearly forgotten about the whole ‘date’ angle, but now that everything was over and done with, it was time for him to make a decision. Was he really going to go on a date with Papyrus?

Harry only needed a moment to make up his mind. Yes. Yes he was. 

“O-Oh! Heh, yeah! We’ll, uh, we’ll be right there! You go on without us.”

"You got it! Nyeh heh heh heh heh heh heh!" With a wink and a laugh, Papyrus took off at full speed, likely returning to his house in Snowdin. Once he was gone, Peter and Harry looked at each other again. The adrenaline from the battle was finally beginning to wear off, and in its place was a mix of relief, joy, and a feeling of slight foreboding. 

"Well… I guess we can finally see what’s beyond Snowdin," Peter said. 

"Yeah," Harry agreed. 

“We’re one step closer to the Surface. Even if we have to go past the king.” 

Harry nodded, and his expression was troubled, mirroring Peter’s own. 

“Yeah,” he said again. “The king… I hope he’s more like Papyrus’s description than Toriel’s.” Peter grimaced in agreement.

“Me too. I’d prefer a ‘fuzzy pushover’ to the guy Toriel made him out to be.” 

They wouldn’t truly know until they made it to the Capitol, though, so they both agreed it would be best to cross that bridge when they came to it. If they spent all their energy worrying about meeting the king, they’d have a much harder time actually  _ making  _ it there to meet him in the first place. 

"So...what now?" Peter asked after they’d lingered in silence for a while. Harry’s eyes suddenly obtained a sparkle, and he smiled confidently. 

“Now,  _ I  _ have a date with a very charming skeleton.” He looked toward the path leading back to Snowdin, which had a very distinct pair of footprints etched in the thick snow. “I’m a man of my word, after all. And I think a date with a friend is just what I need to destress from all this.” He waved his hand in a circular motion to demonstrate ‘all this’. 

Peter chuckled.

“Ahh, of course! How silly of me to even ask.” He strode forward and held his arm out like a chauffeur, gesturing for Harry to go ahead of him. “After you, my good sir. Your prince charming awaits.”

Harry, a playful smirk on his face, walked past Peter with his hands in his pockets and nodded for his friend to follow.

“C’mon, I’ll bring you as my plus one. You can be the third wheel.”

“Oh, goody! I’m great at being the third wheel.”

The boys laughed and jostled each other as they made their way down the path, both of them feeling as light as they had before their initial confrontation with Papyrus on the road out of town. For just a brief moment, it felt like they were back at home, heading down the Manhattan sidewalks after school. For a moment, they could put the stress of uncertainty on the shelf.

They knew that there would certainly be difficult situations ahead of them on their journey; that was undeniable, especially considering all that they now knew. But for now, for this moment, at least, they were okay. They had made a new friend, they (well, Harry, mainly) were going to have a fun date, and they were okay. 


	21. Let's Dating Love!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After exploring the skelebros' house, Papyrus and Harry finally have their date! Hilarity ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I ACTUALLY DID IT THIS TIME. Half hour before Sunday, babey >:)) And this chapter is actually two combined into one! Originally I had this split up, but I figured having the dating stuff all together would be better for the structure, heh. I hope everyone's doing well and staying safe! <3

Papyrus spotted them as soon as they came into the vicinity of the house he shared with Sans. The big, beaming grin that popped up instantly on his face told them just how happy he was to see them again.

"So you came back to have a date with me!" he exclaimed, swinging his hands together in a single clap. "You must be really serious about this…!” 

“Of course, Papyrus,” Harry said, smiling sweetly (and somewhat shyly) up at their skeleton friend. “I told you I wanted to, didn’t I?”

Papyrus dipped his head excitedly, that pinkish color back on his cheekbones.

“I-I know! I'll have to take you someplace really special...a place I like to spend a lot of time!!!” He spun on his heel and began swiftly making his way down the path that wound through Snowdin, pausing only to beckon to the boys. “Follow me!" 

Peter and Harry hurried to keep pace with the much longer strides of Papyrus, following him past the library and a few assorted homes before they came to a stop in front of Grillby’s. Harry looked up at the sign hanging over the door and grinned.

“Grillby’s, huh? Pete and I checked it out earlier and-”

But Papyrus apparently wasn’t done, after all; he abruptly spun around again and marched all the way back the way he’d come, and the now slightly-confused boys shot each other a  _ huh  _ look before making haste after him. This time Papyrus stopped in front of his house -- the same place they’d just been standing next to only moments earlier. 

With a big, grand flourish, Papyrus faced Peter and Harry and threw his arms up triumphantly. 

"My house!!!" he exclaimed. 

Harry and Peter blinked. 

Then Harry shrugged and said, “Oh! Okay! I’m totally down for that, too.” It was a bit of a surprise, being taken home on a first date, but Harry didn’t mind. It wasn’t like he had to impress Papyrus’s parents or anything (at least, as far as he knew). And he was actually pretty intrigued to see the place that Papyrus and Sans lived. 

Papyrus made a little excited noise and rushed inside, calling behind him, “Come on! Come on! Oh, we’re going to have so much fun!!”

Inside, they could see that the main foyer also served as the living room, furnished with a simple couch and TV on top of a shaggy blue carpet. An open doorway near the back seemed to lead into the kitchen, and a wooden staircase to the left stretched up to a small hallway that was railed on one side, two doors visible on the far upper wall. 

"Welcome to scenic 'My House'!" Papyrus declared. "Enjoy and take your time!!"

Peter’s attention was immediately drawn to a small side table in the living room, upon which sat a glass cage - one often used for lizards and tarantulas - that contained, not one of the aforementioned creatures, but a plain gray rock. There were several rainbow sprinkles surrounding and on top of the rock. 

"Oh, I see you’ve noticed my brother's pet rock," Papyrus said as Peter curiously examined it. "He always forgets to feed it. As usual, I have to take responsibility." 

“I can kinda relate to Sans,” Peter admitted, scratching at his neck sheepishly. “I used to be terrible at taking care of pets. My aunt never trusted me with anything more than a goldfish after my bird got out.” 

_ Poor Mr. Feathersby.  _

While Peter was preoccupied with the pet rock, Harry poked his head into the kitchen. His belly was feeling a familiar pang again, and he wondered if it might be rude to ask Papyrus for a snack immediately upon entering his house. His growling stomach won over his fear of possible impoliteness.

“Hey Papyrus, mind if I take a look in the fridge real quick?” He smiled hopefully. Papyrus nodded vigorously, striding past the boy into the kitchen. 

“Of course, Human! You are always welcome to take a peek at my food museum. Feel free to peruse my culinary art show!”

“Thanks, buddy.”

Harry opened the fridge expecting...well, he wasn’t exactly sure  _ what  _ he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t what he got. Inside the fridge were dozens and dozens of containers stacked top to bottom; half the containers were labelled "spaghetti", and the other half only had empty chip bags in them. 

Sighing only lightly, Harry closed the fridge door. It was alright; he could probably go at least another hour or two without food. It wasn’t like he was starving. 

“What do you think?” asked Papyrus, leaning forward expectantly. Harry gave him another smile.

“It’s not what I was, uh, expecting, but it’s nice. You have a really big collection of chip bags.”

The skeleton puffed his chest out and grinned.

“Indeed! Thank you for noticing. I told Sans that they’d impress  _ somebody _ someday. Looks like I was right!”

A sudden cry of, "Whoa! What's with the sink?" from Peter drew both their attention away from Papyrus’s chip bags and over to the other side of the room. The spider-boy had apparently come in while Harry toured the ‘food museum’ and was now staring up at the nearly eight-foot-tall appliance in shock and awe. Harry’s eyes widened comically as he noticed the absolutely absurd height of the sink for the first time, and he couldn’t stop himself from gasping.

“Holy crap! Papyrus, why is it so tall!?”

Papyrus grinned.

"You like it? I increased the height of my sink! Now I can fit more bones under it! Take a looksy!" 

_ Bones, huh? _

Peter hesitantly opened the cabinet under the sink, but instead of finding the expected pile of bones, he found the same little white dog from before - the dog who’d stolen Papyrus’s ‘special attack,’ if they recalled correctly, and the dog they’d encountered all throughout their journey to Snowdin - chewing contentedly on a single bone. 

“Uhh, Papyrus?” Peter asked. “Is that dog supposed to be in there?”

"WHAT?!" Papyrus barked. “DOG!?” He came closer and scowled as soon as he caught sight of the happy, tail-wagging dog chomping on what was presumably one piece of his prized bone collection. “HEY, GET OUT OF THERE!”

The dog obliged, quickly springing to its paws and taking off past Peter, Harry, and Papyrus with the bone still in its mouth. Papyrus made a mad grab for it, but it easily dodged his grasp and darted for the door. The skeleton stamped his foot in outrage.

"CATCH THAT MEDDLING CANINE!" 

Unfortunately, it was far too late; the dog was already gone, leaving nothing but an empty, dusty sink cabinet in its wake. 

"CURSES!" Papyrus howled.

“Oof,” Peter said. “Sorry, pal. That dog is  _ crazy  _ fast.”

From upstairs, the distinct sound of a trombone’s deep  _ wah wah waaaahh  _ floated down to the kitchen. Startled, Peter and Harry raced out to the living room and looked up just in time to find Sans retreating back into his room and shutting the door. 

" _ Sans _ !" Papyrus hollered, stomping out after them. "Stop plaguing my life with incidental music!!" 

“Oh, my God,” Peter said, shaking his head in quiet admiration. “That’s next level. Real life sound effects. Incredible.”

“Ugh! He  _ always  _ does this,” Papyrus grumbled. “Don’t pay any mind to him, humans. His ideas of ‘jokes’ are always this ridiculous.” 

“Hey, I thought it was pretty good,” Peter said. “But maybe that’s just me.”

“It’s just you,” Harry agreed.

Papyrus flipped his scarf back over his shoulder with a little huff, but instantly returned to his cheery disposition as he made his way to the bottom of the stairs. Gesturing up to the top floor, where they could see a door absolutely plastered in action hero posters and “KEEP OUT” signs, he said, “That’s my room up there! So, if you’ve finished looking around down here...we could go in, and…” He sheepishly glanced aside. “...do whatever people do when they date??”

Harry found himself blushing again, but he quickly dipped his head.

"Sure, let's go in! Uh, Peter can come too, right?" 

Papyrus nodded vigorously. 

"Of course! All of my friends are welcome in my room! Come, come!" 

He hurried up the stairs, taking them three at a time, and opened the door to reveal a room that looked like something straight out of a 90’s era kids show. A large pirate flag, complete with stereotypical skull and crossbones, adorned his wall, and about a dozen action figures of various sizes and colors sat on a bedside table. The bed itself was one of those  _ awesome  _ red race car beds that every kid had dreamed of at least once, including Peter.  _ God, he’d always wanted a race car bed. _

Harry and Peter stood in the middle of the room for a while, just soaking it all in. Honestly, if they’d had to picture what Papyrus’s room would look like, it probably wouldn’t have been this -- but now that they’d seen it, it made perfect sense. 

An archaic desktop resting on a desk in the corner caught Peter’s eye, and he drifted over to it in near-disbelief. 

“Oh my God. Is this...does this thing  _ work _ ? Like, does it actually get Internet?”

Papyrus glanced over and smiled. "Ah, the Internet!" Papyrus exclaimed. "Indeed it does, Human! And I am quite popular there!” He leaned against the wall and studied one gloved hand in an affectation of nonchalance. “In fact, I am only a dozen away...from a double-digit follower count!!” 

“Hey, good for you, Papyrus!” Peter said. “It took me ages to even get 10. And two of those are Harry and Aunt May.” So, he wasn’t popular on Instagram. So what? That didn’t matter. He still enjoyed posting. At least Harry and Aunt May appreciated his stylistic vaporwave edits.

“Can’t relate,” Harry said with a smirk. “I’ve got over 500.” 

“We can’t all be famous and talented, Harry,” Peter retorted, conjuring a smirk of his own and sticking his tongue out. Harry raised his hands.

“Fair point. But y’know, it’s not all great. Instagram fame brings Instagram creepers.”

Papyrus’s brow darkened, and he nodded seriously. “Indeed!” he said. “Fame often has a price… You see, a troll has recently besieged my online persona, sending me bad puns in a goofy font! It’s just disgraceful." 

Peter and Harry looked at one another, and Peter bit his lip to hold in his burgeoning laughter. They both had a  _ pretty  _ good idea of who this ‘troll’ was, but they figured they probably shouldn’t ruin his fun. 

_ Sorry, Pap. Can’t out a fellow prankster. _

Peter moved from the desk over to the bookcase that stood across from Papyrus’s bed, and out of curiosity he began checking out the titles of the books. One of them, a large brown leather tome, took up nearly a third of the space on the third shelf. 

“Whoa, what’s this? Looks like a brick.”

"Ooh! That's one of my favorites!" Papyrus piped up. "'Advanced Puzzle Construction for Intelligent Minds'. And next to that is one of my other favorites: 'Peekaboo with Fluffy Bunny'.” He furrowed his brow and shook his head, “The ending  _ always  _ gets me." 

Peter paused, then nodded. That was valid.

"Cool flag," Harry said, taking a closer look at the wall decoration. “Looks like something from  _ Pirates _ .” Realizing that Papyrus likely wouldn’t know what that was, he amended, “Uh, it is a pirate flag, right?” 

"Oh, yes! Isn't that flag neato?” asked Papyrus proudly. “Undyne found it at the bay… I think it's from the human world!” 

“Really?” Peter asked, wide-eyed. Were things from the Surface somehow able to travel down here, below the mountain? He hadn’t thought something like that would be possible, but maybe… 

“Yeah! That’s what Undyne said, anyway.” Papyrus looked from side to side, and then he hunched his back and lowered his voice, as though about to reveal a great secret or conspiracy. “Now, I know what you're thinking. Why would a human flag have a cool skeleton on it? Well... I think that humans…” He paused for dramatic effect. “...must have descended from skeletons!!" He straightened up and threw his arms wide, embellishing his theory. 

Harry and Peter shared another look.

_ Oooh, no. _

"Uh, Papyrus, you do know that-" Peter started, but Harry quickly covered his mouth. 

"Heh, yup, probably!" he said, smiling up at Papyrus. Then to Peter, he whispered, "Let's not blow his mind right this instant. I'm not sure he'll even believe us if we tell him the truth."

Peter nodded in agreement. 

"Right, right. Good thinking." Telling their skeleton friend - a skeleton friend who had been born  _ as  _ a skeleton - that all humans and, indeed, all vertebrates were made up of a skeleton on the inside was  _ probably  _ not the best idea.

Feeling quite satisfied with his exploration of Papyrus’s room, Peter went over and plopped himself down on Papyrus’s bed. 

“Hey, Papyrus, is it alright if I sit here while you guys do your thing?” he asked. “It’s really comfortable.”

"Oh, certainly!” Papyrus said. “I’m glad you like it so much! You know, if I ever get to the Surface, I'd like to drive down a long highway in a car just like this one." His voice became wistful and faraway. "Wind in my hair...sun on my skin...oh, it would be lovely.” Sighing a bit, he continued, “Of course, that's just a dream. So instead, I cruise while I snooze." 

Harry and Peter wilted slightly. Papyrus had sounded so melancholy, talking about his dreams of driving some day. The fact that he was trapped down here -- that  _ all  _ the monsters were trapped down here, unable to pursue their various dreams; it unsettled them deep within their souls. And it spurred them even more to get back to the Surface and find a way,  _ some  _ way, to break that damn Barrier. 

“I’m sorry, Papyrus,” Harry said quietly. 

Papyrus waved his hand.

"Oh, it’s alright, Human. Don’t you worry about me. The Great Papyrus will find other dreams to be incredibly fulfilled by!!” He smiled, then cleared his throat and began fiddling with his fingers. “So, um...if you've seen everything...do you want to start the date?" He looked hopefully at Harry.

Harry nodded. There was a butterfly party going on inside his stomach, but he did his best to quell it. There was no reason to be nervous; it was just a friendly date! A friendly date with a very friendly skeleton. 

"Yeah, definitely! Let’s do it." 

Papyrus grinned and clapped his hand excitedly. 

"Alrighty!!! Dating,  _ start _ !!" he declared, and he struck a pose that reminded Peter of some magical girl anime intro.

Harry was a bit surprised by the phrasing and the pose (and the fact that there had been any official declaration at all), but he shook it off quickly and took a step closer to Papyrus. The smile on his face was genuine, as was his eagerness for the date to come; even if he wasn’t accustomed to monster dating traditions, he was confident he could learn.

"Here we are!" Papyrus squealed, spreading his arms to the side. "On our date!! You know, I've actually never done this before...but don't worry! You can't spell 'prepared' without several letters from my name!!" He reached into the pocket of his costume (a pocket neither boy had realized he’d had) and pulled out a small book. "I snagged an official dating rule book from the library!” he explained. “We're ready to have a great time!" 

“There’s a dating rule book?” Harry asked, tilting his head. Damn, if that had existed on the Surface, he probably would’ve had a heck of an easier time figuring out what the hell to do on his very first one. That had been a pretty sorry excuse for a date.

“Yup!! Handy, isn’t it?”

Papyrus cracked the book open and began reading while Harry waited expectantly. 

"Let's see...step one...'ask them on a date'!” Papyrus nodded to himself, then look up and made intense eye contact with Harry across the room. “Ahem...Human! I, the Great Papyrus, will go on a date with you!!" 

Harry nodded excitedly. 

"You got it, man. I’m ready!”

Papyrus' eye sockets sparkled. 

"R-really?!?! Wowie!!! I guess that means it's time for part two!” Again he consulted the book, dictating, “Step two...'put on nice clothes to show you care'!" 

Papyrus pondered this for a moment, tapping a finger to his chin. He peered over the book at Harry, narrowing his sockets and appearing to focus intently on him. Harry wasn;t quite sure why, but he stood there with a smile still on his face, waiting patiently for whatever came next. 

"Hold it!!!” Papyrus suddenly shouted, startling Harry and Peter enough that Peter toppled over backwards on the bed. “'Wear clothing'... That sweater...you're wearing clothing  _ right now! _ ” 

If Harry had been drinking, he would’ve spit it out. He couldn’t help it; hearing someone say that as if it were incriminating evidence of some crime just shocked him to his core. Was wearing clothing not a norm throughout the whole Underground? Were they going to encounter nudist monsters??

“Not only that...earlier today, you were also wearing clothing!" Papyrus continued. A large gasp escaped him. "No...could it be?? You've wanted to date me from the very beginning?!” 

Harry looked back at Peter, who was smiling widely. He gave Harry an encouraging thumbs-up. Harry’s shock soon faded away to reveal an excited smile again, and he turned back to Papyrus and batted his eyes. 

"Aw, you got me! Guess I couldn’t fool you, huh?" 

Papyrus' mind was evidently blown.

"NO!!!" he cried, staggering back a few steps. "YOU PLANNED IT ALL!! YOU'RE WAY BETTER AT DATING THAN I AM!!” He collapsed to one knee, holding a hand to his forehead. “N-NOOO! YOUR DATING  _ POWER _ !"

Harry hadn’t expected such a visceral reaction. Hurriedly he asked, “Oh geez, Papyrus, a-are you okay? I didn’t freak you out, did I?? I’m sorry!”

Papyrus finally composed himself and got back to his feet, and a smirk was fixed firmly in place on his skull. "Nyeh heh heh!! Oh, don't think you've bested me yet, Human! I, the Great Papyrus, have never been beaten at dating, and I never will! I can easily keep up with you!” 

“I, uh, I don’t think anyone gets ‘beaten’ at dating,” Harry said, a bit bewildered. “It’s not really a competi-”

“You see, I, too, can wear clothing!” Papyrus said, cutting him off. “In fact...I always wear my  _ SPECIAL  _ clothes underneath my regular clothes! Just in case somebody happens to ask me on a date! Behold!!" 

He quickly ran off into his closet before Harry could get another word out. Both boys watched in utter helpless confusion as several bumps came from the closet, and then the door flung open to reveal Papyrus in an outfit unlike anything they’d ever seen.

The skeleton now wore denim shorts, a backwards cap, and a white shirt that said "Cool Dude". Two basketballs padded his shoulders, really pulling the look together. 

"NYEH!" Papyrus laughed. "What do you think of my secret style?!" 

Harry took a moment to get over his third shock of the date, but once he did, he grinned. He was having more fun now than during any date he’d ever been on. Who knew that the person he’d feel most comfortable with on a date would be a literal, actual skeleton?

"I love it! I think it really suits you." 

Papyrus gasped again. This was unthinkable. "NO!” he shouted. “A genuine compliment...! However...you don't truly understand the hidden power of this outfit!! Therefore...what you just said is invalid!” Papyrus smirked again and crossed his arms, cocking his chin up. “This date won't escalate any further!!...Unless you find my secret!!" 

Harry tilted his head curiously.

"Secret? What secret? You mean, like...in your outfit?" 

"Indeed!” Papyrus affirmed. “But I assure you, that won't happen!" He chuckled, clearly confident that Harry would never discover the hidden treasures that lay buried within the ‘Cool Dude’ outfit.

Contrary to Papyrus’s belief, Harry guessed the location of said secret almost immediately.

"Is it under your hat?" 

"My hat?" Papyrus asked, narrowing his eye sockets. "My hat. My hat!” he repeated. “Nyeh heh heh!" 

He took it off with a flourish and, sure enough, there was a present underneath it, balanced on the skeleton’s head. Harry smiled, satisfied. 

"Hah! Got it right!" 

Papyrus became a bit flustered, his bony cheeks once again turning a bright shade of pink. 

"W-Well then...you found my secret!” he acquiesced. “I suppose I have no choice! It's a present...a present j-just for you!!" Papyrus bent over a bit so that Harry could reach the present.

Harry put his hand to his chest, legitimately touched. 

"For me? Really? Aw, Papyrus, you shouldn't have!" He took the present from Papyrus’s bent head and opened it with a simple rip. Inside the box was a plate of spaghetti. 

"Do you know what this is?" the skeleton asked. 

Harry laughed delightedly.

_ Oh my God, he’s adorable. _

"Of course I do!" 

"'Spaghetti'. That's what you're thinking, isn't it?" Papyrus asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Harry nodded. “That’s what it is, isn’t it?”

“Right!” Papyrus exclaimed. "But oh-so wrong! See, this ain't any plain ole pasta! This is an artisan's work! Silken spaghetti, finely aged in an oaken cask...then cooked by me, Master Chef Papyrus!” He made a chef’s kiss with his hand, then pointed at Harry intensely. “Human!!! It's time to end this! There's no way this can go any further!" 

He smirked, confidence exuding from his every pore. Then, in a twist not even the Great Papyrus could see coming, Harry ate some of the spaghetti. 

The taste was…indescribable. It was both limp and firm, wispy and chunky, wet and bone dry. It wasn’t  _ good,  _ but by God, it was something else. 

Papyrus gasped loudly at the display. 

"What a passionate expression! You must really love my cooking!! And by extension, me!! Maybe even more than I do!!!” The mere possibility threw his brain for a loop, and he began to shake his head in denial and disbelief. “Augh! URGH!  _ NOOOOO _ !" 

He fell to his knees once again, then toppled over onto his back and closed his eye sockets. Harry jumped, immediately racing to his side and kneeling down, a worried expression now in place of his smile. Peter, too, leaped up from the bed, craning his neck to try and see what was going on.

“Oh man, is he okay!?”

“I don’t know!” Harry yelped. “Papyrus, are you alright? Papyrus? C’mon, buddy, speak to me!”

Had he accidentally killed their new friend with his dating power?  _ Was that a thing that could happen down here?? _

Papyrus weakly opened his eyes and gazed into the anxious Harry’s face. 

"Human...it's clear to me now," he murmured. "You're madly in love with me. Everything you do. Everything you say. It's all been for my sake.” He coughed dramatically, and Harry found his hand and held it tightly. “Human. I want you to be happy, too. It's time for me to express my feelings. It's time that I told you.” 

Harry’s eyes widened. Was this it? Was Papyrus actually going to confess to having romantic feelings for him? He hadn’t expected the date to go any further than a friendly rendezvous, but… 

The skeleton cleared his throat, then began, “I, Papyrus…” He paused. ”I…” Again, he faltered. Papyrus chuckled nervously and tugged at his collar. “Um...boy, is it hot in here, or is it just me??" He seemed a bit embarrassed. 

Harry raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side.

"What is it, Papyrus?" 

“...Oh, shoot," Papyrus mumbled, heaving a great sigh. "Human, I...I'm sorry. I don't like you the way you like me.” Hurriedly he added, “R-Romantically, I mean. I mean, I tried very hard to! I thought that because you flirted with me...that I was supposed to go on a date with you. Then, on the date, feelings would blossom forth!! I would be able to match your passion for me!!” His shoulders sagging, he continued, “But alas...I, the Great Papyrus...have failed.” Papyrus pushed himself to a sitting position and propped his head in his hands. “I feel just the same as before. And instead, by dating you...I have only drawn you deeper...into your intense love for me! A dark prison of passion, with no escape. How could I have done this to my dear friend...?" 

Harry just smiled softly and began shaking his head.

"Papyrus, really, it's alright. Truth is, I feel the same way. I had a lot of fun dating you; this has probably been the best date I’ve ever been on in my life, and I’ve been on a lot." He chuckled. “But it’s okay if you don’t wanna be more than friends. Because really, I love being your friend just fine. Me and Pete both. You didn’t fail at anything, okay? Trust me.” 

Papyrus considered Harry’s words and his warm face. Slowly, he nodded, and a smile of his own came back.

"Right...you’re right, Human! You’re absolutely right! I can't fail at anything!!” 

Harry laughed a little.

“Papyrus, that’s not what I-”

“Human!! I'll help you both through these trying times!!” Papyrus declared, jumping to his feet and striking another heroic pose. “I'll keep being your cool friend...and act like this all never happened!” 

Settling down a bit, he cast a softer smile toward Harry and folded his hands.

“After all, you are very great. It would be tragic to lose your friendship.” 

Harry dipped his head, feeling another tiny blush warming his cheeks. 

_ Aww... _

“So please...don't cry because I won't kiss you,” Papyrus said. “Because, I don't even have lips. And hey, someday, you'll find someone as great as me!” After a momentary pause, he shook his head. “Well, no, that's not true. But I'll help you settle for second best!!  _ Nyeh heh heh!!” _

He winked, then dashed back into the closet for another costume change. Moments later he emerged in his usual attire, also holding aloft a yellowed notepad and pen. "Oh, and if you ever need to reach me, here's my phone number!” He scribbled something on the pad, then tore the front page off and handed it to Harry. "You can call me any time! Platonically.” 

“Thank you, Papyrus,” Harry said genuinely. “We really appreciate this.”

“Yeah! This whole thing has been a blast,” Peter agreed, coming to stand beside his friends. “Thanks for showing us your house and all. We had a great time.” 

“You are very welcome, smaller human!” said Papyrus, patting Peter on the head. “It is always my pleasure to entertain my friends!” 

They all stood there for a short while longer, not really sure of what to do next. Thankfully, the silence was quickly broken by Papyrus turning toward the door. 

“Well, gotta go! Nyeh heh heh!" 

With that final sentiment, Papyrus raced out of his room. They could hear him pounding down the wooden stairs, and then the swing and bang of the front door opening and closing. It looked like they’d been left to their own devices once again.

"Well,” said Harry, looking down at the piece of paper in his hand, “that was probably the most interesting date I've ever been on.”

“Not many people can say they’ve dated a skeleton,” Peter agreed.

“Heh, yeah. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Harry added Papyrus’s phone number to the phone Toriel had given him and Peter, then folded up the paper and stuck it in his pocket. It had a sense of finality to it; like all that they’d faced and accomplished in Snowdin was finally at an end.

And, indeed, this was true. With all of their business in Snowdin finished, Peter and Harry made their way out of Sans and Papyrus’s house (calling a quick goodbye to Sans first), and they turned toward the road that would lead them to the cave they’d have to traverse to continue their journey.

“Ready, pal?” Peter asked. “This is real uncharted territory again, y’know.”

“I know,” Harry said. “But I feel...I feel pretty confident, I think.” He smirked sidelong at his friend. “After all, we’ve got two skeletons on our side now and one of them’s just a call away.” Harry straightened his back and rolled his shoulders, mentally and physically preparing himself for whatever lay ahead. He believed what he’d said; they could totally do this. 

“Right you are,” Peter chuckled. “C’mon, let’s get moving. I’m eager to see what the Underground has in store for us next.” 


	22. Lunch Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry finally enter Waterfall, encountering some familiar faces and a curious plant called an 'echo flower.' After running into Sans, they decide to accompany him on his lunch break, where a rather startling bit of information is discovered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright!! Feels good to be mostly back to schedule! :D I think writing more consistently is really helping me emotionally and mentally with all the stress during this wack time. I hope reading this can help you guys a little, too, even if it's just for a little while! And I hope everyone's staying healthy and safe (:

The cave’s entrance allowed a fair bit of light to penetrate what lay beyond, but Peter and Harry had a feeling that the further they went, the less they’d be able to see. 

“Does that phone Toriel gave us have a flashlight on it?” Harry asked. Peter took a quick look at the tiny little flip-phone and grimaced.

“Nope. We’d be lucky if we got any light from the screen itself.”

“Drat. Should’ve brought a flashlight, huh?”

“Hindsight is 20/20, I guess.” 

They probably could have gone back into town and asked the rabbit shopkeep if she had any flashlights to sell, but they were itching to get a move on; it’d probably be fine, anyway. The monsters had been living down there for ages, so most parts of the mountain’s cavern had likely been thoroughly explored and the proper precautions taken. At least, that’s what they hoped.

_ If worse comes to worst, we can always call Papyrus,  _ Peter reasoned.  _ He’d probably know how to get through this place.  _

Without any more deliberation, they took their first steps into the section of the Underground they would later come to know as Waterfall.

The boys decided to use the deep, black river to their left as a sort of guide for a while, like Peter had seen many a movie character do before. They figured that as long as they kept along its bank, they wouldn’t end up getting turned around. Belatedly Peter noticed a parade of large, evenly-spaced ice blocks floating along the water’s surface, nearly keeping pace with them, and he realized with slight surprise that they must have been Ice Wolf’s doing.

“Hey, Har, look at that,” he said, gesturing to the ice blocks with his chin. “I think this river winds all the way back to Snowdin. Remember Ice Wolf?”

“Oh, yeah,” Harry said. “I almost forgot about that. Their ice travels a long way, huh?”

“Depending on how far this river goes, yeah.”

They’d been walking for maybe ten minutes when a squeaky, familiar voice echoed loudly through the cavern: “Yo!!!!”

The yellow monster child they’d met back in Snowdin -- Monster Kid, their name was, if Peter remembered correctly -- came skidding to a stop inches from their feet, their eyes wide and their face split by a big smile. They were panting a little, probably from their swift beeline to the boys.

“Oh, hey!” Peter said cheerfully. “It’s you again! What’s up?”

“Oh my gosh, I didn’t expect to see you guys out here!” Monster Kid said in excitement once they’d caught their breath. “I snuck away from town to come wait for Undyne; I heard she’s gonna be in this area, and I  _ really  _ wanna see her!” They spun in a little circle, then looked up at Peter and Harry curiously. "Are you guys sneaking out to see her, too?” 

Sharp claws of anxiety sunk themselves deep into Peter’s heart.  _ Undyne.  _ That was the woman Papyrus had mentioned quite often. They’d heard it around Snowdin Town, too; Grillby’s patrons had been eagerly chatting about her nearly the whole time they’d been there. 

From what little they knew about her, Undyne was bad news -- for them, at least. She was the one the Royal Guard reported to, including Papyrus, and if they hadn’t managed to get out of that garage they probably would’ve met her by now. And that definitely wouldn’t have been great. 

Peter didn’t even know what she  _ looked  _ like, but just from hearing her name and various off-the-cuff comments so many times, he was essentially pavlov-conditioned to tense up at the mention of her alone. It kind of bothered him.

_ We’ll be able to handle her,  _ he assured himself.  _ We’ll just talk our way out, like everything else. It’s worked this far. Besides, who says we’ll even meet her? We might avoid one another all together. _

That was wishful thinking, he knew.

Peter suddenly realized that he’d been staring intently (and silently) into space for the past thirty seconds, and he smoothed his shirt down with embarrassment as he stuttered, “Huh? O-Oh, uh, y-yeah! Totally!” No need to let slip their apprehension to Monster Kid. Plus, if they looked up to her so much, Peter wouldn’t want to burst their bubble. 

The little monster hopped from foot to foot, unable to contain their excited energy. 

“She's the coolest, right?! I wanna be just like her when I grow up!” 

Peter and Harry shared a short glance that said  _ Buddy, I hope you won’t be.  _

“Well, I gotta go find a good vantage spot,” Monster Kid said, wiggling their tail. “I’ll see you guys later, alright? Hey, don't tell me parents I'm here, heh!"

"Don't worry, we won't," Harry promised with a little chuckle. “We’ll catch up with you later. Be careful, okay?” 

“Sure, dude!! Byeee!”

Monster Kid sprinted off the way they’d come, only making it a few feet before tripping on their face just like the last time they’d parted -- and, just like last time, they were quick to get back up and continue on their way, the fall clearly not damaging their good mood. Peter wished he could spring back up like that every time  _ he  _ fell. Then again, tripping over your own feet was pretty different from being knocked off a twenty-story high rise. 

“So, Undyne,” Peter said, his eyes still fixed on the speck of yellow that was the retreating Monster Kid. He heard Harry blow a breath beside him.

“She’s got me kinda worried,” he admitted. “More than ‘kinda’, actually. If she’s around this area, that makes me think she’s got our scent, so to speak. As gross as that sounds.” 

“I know what you mean,” Peter mumbled. His left hand found his pocket and settled there restlessly; he didn’t know what else to do with it. “I remember Papyrus’s note from thegarage said we’d have to ‘wait until Undyne arrives’; do you think maybe he called her, before we got out and talked through everything with him?” 

Harry sucked his lower lip in dismay.

“Shit. I bet you’re right.” 

Well, that didn’t spell good things. They stood in relative quiet for a beat or two, each ruminating on what future issues this could create.

It wasn’t that they were mad at Papyrus. Even if they tried, they knew they wouldn’t be able to muster any true animosity for the lovable skeleton. From his perspective, he’d just been doing his job; both Peter and Harry doubted that he’d meant any ill will toward them while making the call. 

However, this  _ did  _ pose a problem: what were they going to do if (and more likely,  _ when _ ) they ran into Undyne? Peter still retained some hope that they’d be able to talk her down the same way they’d gotten through to Papyrus, but there was just no guarantee. 

“Well,” Peter said at last, “I think we should just keep going on like normal for now. We’ll be careful and do our best to stay out of her way. And if we happen to cross paths, then…” He took a slow, deep breath. “We’ll just do the same thing we’ve always done. We’ll talk to her. She’s gotta be reasonable, right?” He didn’t like how desperate those last words had sounded, coming from his mouth. 

“I sure hope so,” Harry said, shaking his head very slightly. “I guess all we can do is try.” 

Peter nodded. Then, not wanting to get their journey back underway on a somber note, he elbowed his friend and gestured toward a tall, teal-colored flower growing a short way down by the side of the river. 

“Hey, look,” he said with a small smile. “Check out that crazy flower. I’ve never seen that down here before. And certainly not on the Surface.”

Harry’s disposition cleared up like a sunshower when Peter pointed out the flower. He’d always found beauty and comfort in the natural world, second only to music, and seeing something so unique and colorful down here amongst the darkness of the cave was instantly cheering.

“Whoa,” he murmured, drifting closer as a smile spread over his face. “That’s wild. What  _ is  _ that?”

“It’s an echo flower,” said a voice nearby, and both boys started. They hadn’t noticed the scarlet, elf-eared monster leaning on the wall beside the flower until just now; they’d been far too ensconced in their Undyne musings. The monster pushed off the wall and came a little closer to Peter and Harry. “It repeats the last thing it heard, over and over. Watch.” It paused and inclined its head as if to say, ‘Wait.’ Peter and Harry curiously watched the flower, and sure enough, after just a few moments, the red monster’s voice echoed back up from the center: “_It’s an echo flower._ _It repeats the last thing it heard, over and over. Watch.”_

“Whoaaa,” Harry said again, his voice filled with undeniable wonder. “That’s...amazing.”

_ "Whoaaa. That’s...amazing,”  _ said the echo flower. 

The red monster chuckled, and the two laughed along with it. 

"See?” it said. “There’s lots of these in Waterfall. I’m sure you’ll find some more, if you’re traveling through.” 

“Waterfall?” Peter asked, and then he understood. “Ohh! Right, right, heh.” That must have been the name of this section of the Underground. Now that he’d heard the name again, he recalled the kindly shopkeep mentioning Waterfall in her listing of the various areas. 

“Thanks,” Harry said, giving the red monster a smile and a nod. “We’ll be sure to look out for them.”

With a friendly parting wave, Peter and Harry left the monster and prepared to head deeper into Waterfall. They passed by another ramshackle guard stand that reminded them quite a bit of the one Sans had before Snowdin, and to their surprise, Sans himself was occupying this one as well. He leaned back in a folding chair, hands behind his head, eye sockets half lidded and permanent smile just a bit lazier than usual.

“Sans??” 

Sans’s eyes fully opened at the sound of Harry’s bewildered voice.

“Oh, hey, kids. What’s up? Glad to see ya’ made it to Waterfall.”

“What’re you doing here?” asked Peter. “I thought you worked in Snowdin!” 

“What, haven’t you seen a guy with two jobs before?” Sans said, leaning his elbows on the counter of the stand. “Gotta make a living somehow, y’know?”

“I know that feel,” Peter said, and he winced in understanding. “I guess I just assumed...I dunno, actually. Sorry!” He laughed sheepishly.

“Ahh, don’t worry about it. Fortunately for me, two jobs means twice as many legally-required breaks.” He stretched, reaching his arms above his head, then strolled out from behind the guard stand and looked up at the humans. “I’m going to Grillby’s,” he said. “Wanna come?”

“Oh! Uh, sure! You good with that, Harry?”

Harry considered, rubbing his chin in thought.

“Hmm. It’s been a few hours since we’ve eaten, so...yeah, I’m down! All that dating made me hungry.”  _ For something other than spaghetti,  _ he added silently. 

Sans slapped Harry on the back fondly.

“Heh, alright, if you insist...I  _ guess  _ I’ll pry myself away from my work.” He chuckled and took a few steps further into the cave, waving to Peter and Harry with one hand. Peter tilted his head in slight confusion. That definitely wasn’t the way back to Snowdin. 

“Uh, Sans? Isn’t Grillby’s that way?” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. Sans didn’t turn around, just kept beckoning for them to follow.

“C’mon, this way. I know a shortcut.”

“Oh, uhh, okay!” 

Peter happened to catch sight of a small twinkling star beside Sans’s guard stand as he and Harry went after the skeleton. Briefly, he wondered if it would really be worth it to touch every star they came across. Would it impact anything if they did? What if they didn’t? They even didn’t know the true purpose of these things, not for sure; they could only guess at the actual importance of the strange little markers. It was true, they made him feel somewhat comforted, but he was in a bit of a hurry at the moment. Surely missing a few wouldn’t be that bad....?

Looking back and forth between his quickly retreating friends and the star several times, he finally relented and gave it a quick poke before hurrying to catch up. Behind him he could hear the voice, fading as he raced after Harry and Sans: "The sound of rushing water fills you with determination.” Though he didn’t quite understand why, he felt a small surge of relief.

“Hey, wait for me!” Peter called as he fell into step beside Harry. Thankfully, the two of them hadn’t gotten too far; he didn’t fancy getting lost all by himself in a place like Waterfall. Or in the Underground in general, really. 

“No worries, kid,” said Sans, glancing over his shoulder. “We’re just getting to the shortcut now.”

Peter peered around the skeleton to try and spot this so-called shortcut, but all he saw was a blank cave wall. He raised an eyebrow and turned to Harry, who looked just as incredulous as he did. 

“Uh, Sans?” he said. “This is just a-”

And then they were in front of Grillby’s. There was no flash of light, no crazy noise, no nothing; nothing that would indicate they’d suddenly teleported from the entrance of Waterfall to Snowdin Town, and yet here they were. Just like that. 

_ Hey, excuse me?? Excuse me, what the hell?  _

That was what Peter  _ wanted  _ to say, but all he could actually say was, “Whoa.”

“Whoa,” Harry agreed, looking down at himself in somewhat of a daze. He poked his arm. Yup, still solid. Thank goodness.

"Fast shortcut, huh?" Sans asked with a pleased chortle. Clearly he was enjoying their confusion, and would refuse to explain himself. “C’mon, let’s head in.” He pushed open the restaurant’s doors and strode in like he owned the place, calling out a cheerful, "Hey, everyone." 

Everyone in Grillby’s answered with comfortable familiarity. 

“Hi, Sans!”

“Heeey, Sans! What’s good?”

“Sans, my man!”

“Do you know everybody in Snowdin?” Harry asked in awe, glancing around at the smiling patrons as he and Peter followed Sans back to the counter. 

Sans winked. “Just about.” He hopped into a bar stool and gestured toward the two beside him. "Here, get comfy. Whaddaya want?" 

"How about a burger?" Peter asked, settling himself into the seat directly beside Sans. “We only had fries last time. I’m thinking something more substantial might be a good idea.”

"Yeah, same for me," Harry said in agreement, hoisting himself up to sit beside Peter. 

"Hey, that sounds pretty good," Sans said. Raising his hand in a friendly gesture, he said, "Grillby, we'll have a triple order of burg." The flame-headed bartender looked up from where he was cleaning out some glasses and nodded, quickly disappearing into the kitchen.

“So," the skeleton began amiably, turning to the boys once their order was submitted, "I’ve been meaning to ask you something. What do you think of my brother? After everything you’ve been through with him, I’m curious to know your opinion." 

"He's the coolest," Harry said without a second’s hesitation. His smile was warm and earnest. It was amazing, really, how he’d changed his perspective; after their first glimpse of Papyrus Harry had been certain he’d only get them into trouble, but Peter - and Papyrus himself - had shown him that that wasn’t the case. Now, Harry was sure he wouldn’t trade Papyrus and his zany, loyal friendship for anything.

Sans nodded, as if he were expecting that reply. 

"Of course he's cool. You'd be cool too if you wore that outfit every day. He'd only take that thing off if he absolutely had to.” He laughed. “Oh well, at least he washes it. And by that, I mean he wears it in the shower." 

“Hey, y’know, it could be worse,” Peter said, raising his hands and smirking. “He probably doesn’t have to worry about that orange scarf staining any of his other clothes.” Peter knew firsthand that washing bright garments with other clothes could lead to quite a bit of unexpected hilarity. He’d learned that the hard way, when a rinse cycle with the suit had turned all his white underwear pink. He didn’t really mind, though; pink was a nice color. It had just been startling, that was all. 

At that moment, Grillby came back and set three burgers down in front of them. They looked almost too good to be real burgers; they looked more like made-for-commercial food art burgers. It was kind of incredible.

_ McDonald’s should take note. _

"Here comes the grub,” Sans noted. “Want some ketchup?"

"Yeah, thanks!” 

Sans handed Harry the bottle. The boy pulled his plate closer and readied to give the patty a good squirt of tomato substance, but instead, the entire cap fell off with a  _ schlorp  _ and the entire contents of the bottle drenched his burger in red. Harry gaped. 

“Aw, what the hell?!”

Sans began to laugh uproariously, making it quite apparent that he was the one who'd pulled the prank. Peter couldn’t help but chuckle too, patting Harry on the shoulder sympathetically. Harry shot Sans a glare that could sour milk, shaking his head in sheer disappointment. 

“Sans. Why would you do this to me? This is horrendous. I thought we were friends.” 

Sans kept laughing, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "Eh, forgeddaboutit. You can have mine. I'm not hungry anyway." He pushed his burger over to Harry, who accepted it gratefully and took a bite. 

“Thank you,” he said. “Your penance is acceptable. The wrong has been righted.”

“Glad to hear it, pal.”

He sat back on his stool, folding his arms over his stomach and closing his eye sockets briefly before looking back to the boys. "Anyway," he continued, "cool or not, you have to agree Papyrus tries real hard. Like how he keeps trying to be part of the Royal Guard.” 

Peter nodded appreciatively. “You’re definitely right,” he said. “And I gotta admire that, even if the Royal Guard is kinda terrifying to us, considering the situation.” Harry made a noise of concurrence as he continued scarfing down his burger.

“You shoulda seen him when he first decided he wanted to join,” Sans said fondly. “One day, he went to the house of the head of the Royal Guard, and begged her to let him be in it. Of course, she shut the door on him because it was midnight, but the next day, she woke up and saw him still waiting there. Seeing his dedication, she decided to give him warrior training.” He scratched the top of his skull and chuckled. “It's, uh, still a work in progress." 

"Damn, that’s dedication," Peter mused. He imagined himself doing the same thing to Nick Fury: climbing up to the Helicarrier at midnight, banging on the cargo bay door, and demanding to receive training. He was 99% certain he’d get thrown off the ship. And that was only because the other 1% possibility was being incinerated by the Helicarrier’s defense missiles. 

_ Yeah, probably better that HE approached ME.  _

Sans nodded. “Yup. That’s my brother for ya’.” 

The three went quiet for a while, then, with Peter and Harry contentedly eating and Sans eyeing the ketchup and mustard bottles that sat nearby on the counter. Several times he almost reached for them, but apparently decided against it, choosing to twiddle his bony thumbs instead. 

After a few minutes or so, he spoke up again. "Oh yeah, I wanted to ask you something else." 

"Shoot," Peter said through a mouthful of burger. 

Sans hunched his shoulders a little. He looked back and forth, then over his shoulder, as if making sure no one else was eavesdropping on their conversation. Then, lowering his voice about an octave, he asked, "Have you ever heard of a talking flower?" 

Immediately, a sharp chill settled over both Peter and Harry. Their stomachs, eagerly accepting the delicious burgers just moments ago, knotted up and refused to unclench. They looked at one another out the corners of their eyes, unsure what to say. What  _ could  _ they say?

There was only one talking flower that they knew, and the idea that Sans knew about it too - the idea that it wasn’t just confined to the place they’d encountered it - sent their minds to unnerving places. 

When they didn't answer for a while, Sans said, "I'll tell you. The echo flower. They're all over the marsh. Say something to them, and they'll repeat it over and over." 

The tightness in their stomachs lessened just a fraction.  _ The echo flowers. Of course. Oh, thank God.  _ But there was still a riggling, gnawing bit of uncertainty clinging to their hearts. 

"What about it?" Harry asked, trying to sound casual.

"What about it? Well, Papyrus told me something interesting the other day.” He leaned in even closer, resting one elbow on the counter as he turned to face them fully in his seat. “Sometimes, when no one else is around...a flower appears and whispers things to him. Flattery...advice...encouragement...predictions. Stuff like that.”

The anxiety returned full force, crashing over them in a high-crested wave. According to what little they knew, echo flowers didn’t pop up out of nowhere. Echo flowers didn’t have that wide of a range of vocalization. Echo flowers didn’t scheme. 

“Weird, huh?” he asked, pulling back and nonchalantly rolling his neck. “I think someone must be using an echo flower to play a trick on him. Just wanted to let you kids know, ‘case you see somethin’ similar. Keep an eye out, okay?" 

Peter and Harry nodded numbly, Sans’s words still swirling around their heads in a whirlwind. They had a sinking feeling that this was no echo flower. 

"Thanks.” Sans stood up and stretched, pushing off of the stool and landing on the wood-paneled floor. Yawning, he said, "Welp, that was a long break. I can't believe I let ya' pull me away from work for that long." He winked at them, and they managed to flash weak smiles. "Oh, by the way,” he added, “I'm flat broke. Can you foot the bill? It's just ten thousand dollars." 

"What?!" Peter and Harry exclaimed, their eyes bugging comically. Sans laughed again, waving his hand to reassure them. 

"Just kidding, just kidding. Grillby, put it on my tab." 

They slumped in their seats, each releasing a relieved sigh. That had been quite a jolt, but at the very least, it had pumped enough adrenaline into their system to break them from their semi-trance-like state. 

Sans chuckled again and walked toward the door, pausing and turning back to look at them before stepping out. "Oh, by the way…” 

Peter and Harry looked at him expectantly. Sans lingered for a moment, then shook his head.

”I was going to say something, but I forgot.” He shrugged. “Well, see ya’!" And with that, he was gone, through the door and out into the cold and snow.

Peter and Harry stared after him for a while, then turned to look at each other. Their short lunch break with Sans had taken several unexpected turns. Both boys had this horrible, icky feeling that this ‘talking flower’ Sans had mentioned was none other than their psychotic flower acquaintance (if he could even be called that) from back in the Ruins: Flowey. And if Flowey was truly out roaming the rest of the Underground, then their chances of running into him again was far higher than they’d ever want it to be. Not to mention, if he was interacting with Papyrus… 

_ If he hurts Papyrus, I swear to God.  _

At last, Harry murmured, “Peter...you don't think..." 

"I do," Peter said grimly. They both did, really. But the vocal confirmation made it all the more real and terrifying. "And I’m  _ really  _ not happy about it.”


	23. Overheard In Waterfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry finally begin the trek through Waterfall for real, traversing some slightly annoying terrain along the way. They unfortunately don't get too far before overhearing a very stressful conversation between Papyrus and someone they've been dreading to meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you're all doing well, and that you enjoy this chapter! The Waterfall arc finally, truly begins >:3

Peter and Harry left Grillby's a short time later. Both were still pretty deep in thought. They headed back toward the cavern that served as the entrance to Waterfall in relative silence; their thoughts hadn’t fully processed enough to be verbalized yet. 

They could see that Sans was seated at his guard post once again as they passed by. 

_ Honestly, at this point, _ Peter thought, _ I’m not even gonna question it. _

They waved to him, which he returned, and continued on deeper into the cave. 

"Well," Peter finally said, after they’d gone on quietly for quite some time, "this is a problem. A big problem.” 

“You could say that again.” Harry reached behind himself to massage a sore part of his lower back, grimacing. All this stress was really tightening up his muscles. And the hard, curved bar stools at Grillby’s probably hadn’t helped either.

“But until we know more about what’s going on,” Peter continued, “we can't do much. We can probably call Papyrus up a little later and figure out what he’s been seeing, when we get to another town or something, but for now I say we should focus on moving forward." 

Harry nodded a bit reluctantly. "Right. Probably better to leave the sleuthing for a more stable environment." It would take a lot of concentration and alertness to get through the likely winding caves of Waterfall; plus, they still had that Undyne Issue to deal with. Flowey and his duplicitous sneaking would have to wait, however much they wanted to take care of it now.

They came to an expanse of water blanketing the next few yards ahead end-to-end, and Peter carefully dipped his toe in to check how deep it was. It ended up being considerably deeper than he’d expected, as his entire shoe up to the ankle immediately sunk in before hitting the bottom. The spider-boy cringed.

“Auuugh, _ gross! _Now my sock’s all wet.”

He withdrew his sneaker and shook it out as best he could, but it didn’t do much; he could still feel the cold cave water seeping into the tight-knit threads and making a home there. _ That _wasn’t going to dry off anytime soon. 

Harry looked from Peter’s wet shoe, to the sizable puddle (if one could even call something that deep a puddle), then to Peter’s face. “So,” he said, “we gonna swing?” 

Peter, eyes still narrowed in annoyance, huffed a short breath and nodded.

“We’re gonna swing.”

Harry latched himself onto Peter as comfortably as he could, and with an easy, practiced flick of the wrist Peter swung the both of them to the dry rock floor on the other side. 

“Wish I would’ve done that in the first place,” Peter muttered, shaking his head. “Woulda saved me a drenched sock.” He shook his foot out again. Harry smiled sympathetically and gave his friend a pat on the shoulder.

“Aw, don’t worry, buddy. Maybe we’ll be able to borrow socks from someone else on the way! I’m sure at least _ one _ monster down here has some that’ll fit you.” A lot of the monsters had distinctly non-human feet, or no feet at all, but hey, it wasn’t _ too _far of a stretch. Probably.

Peter smirked and crossed his fingers.

“Here’s hoping, ‘cause if I get any blisters I’m gonna be _ super _pissy, and that won’t be fun for anyone.” 

For now though, at least, his sock-based aggravation was mostly subsided. With a much cheerier disposition, he waved Harry along. “C’mon, I’ve done enough complaining. The sooner we get through Waterfall, the sooner we’re one step closer to home.” 

A little ways away from the not-puddle there was a tall, incredibly dense patch of grass. It, like the water, stretched nearly to both walls of the passageway, leaving the boys no choice but to go straight through it. 

“I hope there are no ticks in here,” Harry murmured as they began to pick their way through the thick foliage. “Last time we went hiking I got three on my leg. Those bastards hurt.” 

“You’re not wearing shorts this time, so I think you’re fine,” Peter chuckled. He swiped his arm in a short arc, briefly clearing part of their path. “Besides, I don’t think the Underground has any ticks. As far as I know, anyway.”

They were just about halfway through when a strikingly familiar voice caught their attention. Pausing, Peter and Harry strained to identify who it was and where, exactly, it was coming from. They crept a bit closer to the wall. The voice appeared to be coming from just atop it, suggesting that it wasn’t, in fact, a wall, but a ledge. 

And the voice coming from on top of the ledge was undoubtedly Papyrus.

Immediately upon processing this, Peter also realized there was another person up there with him. He could hear the heavy thuds of their footsteps, and though their voice was a muffled murmur, it was unmistakably somebody else. His eyes widening, Peter grabbed Harry’s sleeve tightly and yanked him down below the surface of the grass. When Harry opened his mouth to object in confusion, the spider-boy slapped his palm over it and shook his head quickly. He didn’t try to explain; there was no time. 

He couldn’t be sure, but the cold, clammy feeling currently crawling up from his gut to his throat told him that the second person up on the ledge was _ not _ a monster they wanted to be meeting. That feeling proved to be correct moments later when Papyrus’s cheerful voice ( _ or did it seem rather strained? _) quipped, "H-Hi, Undyne!" 

Peter and Harry’s large, frightened eyes locked on to one another.

_ Undyne. Hooooo boy. _

"I'm here with my daily report...uh...regarding those humans I called you about earlier," Papyrus continued. It was definitely clear, now -- his usual chipper tone was laced with acute nervousness. The other person - Undyne - said something in that low, murmuring voice that the boys couldn't make out. 

"Huh? Did I fight them?” Papyrus echoed. “Y-Yes! Of course I did! I fought them valiantly!" Though they couldn’t see him, they could imagine him wringing his gloved hands and shifting his weight from leg to leg.

Undyne said something again, and Papyrus stammered, "...What? Did I capture them...?” An audible gulp. “W-W-Well...no. I tried very hard, Undyne, but in the end…” The skeleton sighed, heavy and long. ”I failed." 

Peter and Harry were both shaking a bit now, ever so slightly rustling the grass they were crouched in. The mere presence of Undyne, this imposing, ruthless monster they’d only heard second-hand stories of, was enough to set their hearts pounding. They were only inches away from her, and both had a feeling that if she knew they were there, they wouldn’t be for much longer. 

"What?" Papyrus asked after Undyne spoke yet again. "You're going to take the humans' souls yourself?” His voice was turning panicked now, rising higher than even his usual cadence. “But Undyne, you don't h-have to destroy them!!” They heard some pacing, and then, "You see...you see… Certain things have occurred to me just a short while ago, a-and after very careful consideration, I-I think...I think…” Papyrus took another deep breath to compose himself. “I think we should let them be. W-Why can’t we all just…be friends, you know? Wouldn’t that be so much more fun?” He gave a strained, anxious little giggle.

Despite the terror currently punching him directly in the throat, Peter managed a faint smile as Papyrus did his best to defend them. Even if he’d called Undyne here in the first place, at least he was rectifying it now by dissuading her from the very obvious violence she wanted to inflict on them. He knew they could count on their skeleton friend to advocate for their lives. .

Undyne said something else, and despite still not being able to decipher any words, her raised voice and harsh tone told them that she was _ not _happy with Papyrus’s reluctance. 

“Do I want to get to the Surface?” Papyrus asked, apparently repeating her angry query. “Well of course I do, but-!” 

More grumbling. Papyrus’s feet shifted on the rocky ledge.

“The only way…? I...I don’t know… Surely there must be something else, Undyne? They...they’re my…” 

Peter and Harry strained to hear what was said next. Undyne must have lowered her voice again, though, because not even her muffled mumbling reached their ears. All they heard next was a very glum-sounding, very resigned Papyrus murmur, “...I see. I’ll help in any way I can, then.”

Harry felt his heart skip an entire three beats. Okay, he couldn’t be completely sure it had been three, but it certainly felt like it had been at least that many. Beside him, he heard Peter whisper a tiny, disbelieving, "No..." This wasn’t right. This couldn’t be right. Papyrus wouldn’t do this to them; they both knew it as surely as they knew water was wet. After all they’d spoken about, after everything they’d been through… Papyrus wouldn’t betray their friendship. He _ couldn’t. _

_ This is some sort of mistake. It has to be. _

Above there was the sound of fading footsteps, and then the only noise left was the quiet trickle of water dripping off stalactites and the general echoes of the cave. The boys, still shellshocked by the short exchange they’d overheard, didn’t get up from the grass right away. It turned out that it was probably a good thing they didn’t, as unbeknownst to them, Undyne had not yet gone. As Peter absentmindedly shifted position slightly to relieve some of the tension in his calves, they both heard a sharp, heavy clanking as Undyne stomped over to the edge of the ledge. 

Again they froze, holding their breath and tucking themselves into as small a shape as possible. Chancing a lightning fast look up from their vantage point, Peter could see Undyne at last: a tall, imposing figure covered head to toe in metal armor, including her face, the features of which were obscured by a terrifying-looking helmet. A long, fiery rope of thick hair stuck out from the top of it and trailed down her back where it disappeared from sight. The only thing visible inside the darkness of the mask were two bright, piercing yellow dots that Peter assumed must be her eyes.

She raised her glowing energy spear as she stared down at the grass, likely listening for any further noises. Peter and Harry stayed absolutely still. If she heard them now, it was game over. They knew it instinctively.

When no new sounds came forth, Undyne slowly lowered the spear. She waited a few seconds longer in the same spot before finally relenting, backing away into the darkness. The fading metal footsteps sounded like cracking thunder.


	24. The Flexing Champion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After overhearing (well, half-overhearing) that rather frightening conversation between Undyne and Papyrus, Peter and Harry have another run-in with Monster Kid, as well as a completely new encounter with the seahorse-horse-man Aaron. Naturally, they're challenged to a flexing competition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh boy, sorry this one's a little late, guys! |D This past week was a tough one. Not much time or willpower to write, unfortunately. But I'm very glad I was able to finish it for today, at least! And I hope you'll enjoy it all the same :)

It took them some time before they were able to make themselves stand. The troubling conversation plus that harrowing close call had made their limbs feel about as useful as limp noodles. When Peter at last had enough will to get himself up, he helped a shaking Harry to his feet, and the two of them hobbled out of the grass patch.

As Harry bent over and took a few deep breaths, Peter looked furtively up at the ledge, half expecting Undyne to have snuck back over to ready an ambush, but there was nobody there. He wished that fact would give him the relief he was craving, but his heart and stomach were as leaded as before. 

Another bout of silence had now fallen between them. This time, neither was really sure what to say or do to break it. After all they’d overheard, what  _ could  _ they say? 

It turned out that they wouldn’t have to be the ones to shatter the quiet after all, as Monster Kid suddenly came barrelling out of the tall grass and smacked into the back of Harry’s legs. 

“Yooooo!!!”

" _ Gah _ !" Harry cried, jumping and twisting himself around in mid air. It was pretty impressive, Peter had to admit. "How long were you in there?!" he panted. His right hand had flown to clutch at his chest, as though he were suffering a heart attack - which, to be fair, he likely nearly did. Having two scares in the span of several minutes, no matter how minute the second was, wasn’t ideal for someone with a nervous disposition like Harry.

Monster Kid beamed up at Harry and Peter, their little tail swishing as it usually did. “I was there the whole time, dude!! You didn’t see me, huh? I knew my hiding spot was awesome!” They laughed delightedly, and then their eyes took on a sparkly, shiny quality. "Yo...did you see the way she was staring at you?”

“Yup,” Peter said, sounding distinctly queasy. “We, uh...we sure did. I guess you did, too, huh?”

Monster Kid hopped around in an imitation jig, wiggling their body in glee.

“Of course I did!!! That...was  _ AWESOME _ !” Peter and Harry had to do a double-take as Monster Kid squealed, “I'm SOOOO jealous! What'd you do to get her attention...?"

“Jealous?!” Peter sputtered. “Are you serious?! Did you hear the same thing we heard?”

“Wha-? Oh, I wasn’t paying attention to the words!” Monster Kid explained. “I was just focused on Undyne! She’s the  _ coolest.  _ She’s so tall and buff, and her armor is so shiny, and her spear is so SHARP!” Another giggle escaped their mouth as they spun circles around the two human boys. 

Peter exchanged slightly exasperated glances with Harry. 

_ Well,  _ he thought,  _ at least he doesn’t realize we’re humans. That’d probably throw a wrench in our burgeoning friendship.  _

Yeah, maybe it was better for everyone if they’d blocked out that whole thing. 

“Oh, uh, that’s fair,” Peter acknowledged. “Her spear certainly is...sharp.”  _ Gulp. _ Beside him, Harry shuddered imperceptibly. It was a keen hope that they wouldn’t find themselves on the business end of that thing. 

"C'mon!" Monster Kid exclaimed suddenly, breaking their circle and rushing ahead. "Let's go watch her beat up some bad guys!" 

They got about three feet away before they inevitably tripped, falling flat on their face yet again. And, yet again, they quickly hopped up, shook it off, and dashed full speed down the cavern path, their call of “Woooooooo!” echoing and bouncing around the walls in their wake. Soon, they were out of sight.

Peter waited until their footsteps faded fully, then turned to Harry with a deep breath. If there was any time to discuss what had just happened, it was probably now.

"We're in some kinda trouble, pal,” he murmured. "Undyne knows we're here. And she's coming for us." 

"What're we gonna do?" Harry moaned. He began to anxiously comb his fingers through his hair and tugged at the hem of his sweater. "I don't want my soul to be taken! I like my soul!! Pete, how could Papyrus do this!?" There was such a desperation in his voice it almost surprised himself. He didn’t want to believe their new friend, so cheerful and full of genuine kindness, could go back on their bond so easily. Most of him didn’t, truthfully; there was just one tiny, squirming part that thought  _ what if we don’t know him as well as we think we do?  _ He tried to push that part away.

"Hey, we'll be fine," Peter said, doing his best to convince himself as well as Harry. "We just have to be careful.” He looked off to the side and worried his lip. “I…I don’t think Papyrus is really gonna help her hunt us, Harry. I just can’t believe it. Maybe..." An idea struck him. “Maybe he just said that to get her off his back!” he exclaimed. “Y’know, ‘don’t poke the bear’ and all that?” He looked and sounded incredibly hopeful, and that helped Harry feel slightly more hopeful, too. 

“Yeah, that...that’s plausible,” he said cautiously. “He probably wouldn’t wanna agitate her any further after everything that was said. I know I wouldn’t; it sounded like a pretty heated conversation.” They hadn’t been able to decipher any of Undyne’s side of things, but just from the cadence of her voice, and Papyrus’s responses, it was pretty obvious. 

Peter nodded and arched his back a little bit (he was still feeling a little bit cramped), and that was when he noticed the twinkling yellow star sitting - or, er, floating - beside the rock wall. 

“Hey, look! Another one.” The star was a much-needed distraction, if only occupying their minds for a moment. He walked over and touched it. 

"A feeling of dread hangs over you...but you stay determined," the voice said. Harry grimaced.

"I'll say," he said, lightly shivering. Did the voice have to be so ominous? He certainly preferred the cute, cheerful messages about snow and woefully lopsided dog sculptures. 

“Well, we’d probably better keep going,” said Peter once he’d straightened back up. “We’re sitting ducks down here.” Harry couldn’t argue there. Waterfall had just become exponentially more dangerous; it was time to get out. 

Doing their best not to dwell too hard on all the fears and questions that were bouncing around their heads, the two journeyed onward. Not too long after leaving the grass patch and its corridor behind, they found a sign on a nearby wall next to four small seedlings lined up on the ground. The sign read,  _ ‘When four bridge seeds align, they will sprout.’  _

“What the hell are bridge seeds?”

"These, probably," Peter mused, picking one up gently and cupping it in his palms. It was so small and fragile. Seeing something like that in the darkness of Waterfall cheered him considerably. There was just something about plants that made him feel good -- back at home, he’d even begun a small succulent garden on his windowsill. Harry’s influence had definitely rubbed off on him.

_ Too bad I don’t have his green thumb, too. _

Shaking his head quickly, Peter set the bridge seed down in the water in front of them. It floated all the way over to the other side, gently coming to rest up against the edge of the basin. 

“Nothing happened,” Harry pointed out, rather obviously. Peter waved his hand. 

“They’re not aligned yet! The sign said they had to align before anything happened.”

To prove his point, he gathered up the rest of the bridge seeds and set them carefully afloat. And indeed, once the other three had joined their brethren, all four blossomed instantaneously into a narrow bridge made of large, pink and white flowers. Peter’s face split into a sparkling grin.

“Aww,  _ cool!” _

"That was easy," Harry chuckled. As they strolled across the newly-formed flower bridge, being careful not to crush the petals, he added as an afterthought, “You know, there sure are a lot of unique flora down here. It’s kind of making me jealous.” Idly he wondered if he might be able to take a few clippings home with them when they left. Hopefully that wouldn’t be considered rude.

On the other side of the bridge, Peter caught sight of a small figure through the next opening in the cave wall. He shaded his eyes with his hand to try and make it out better, and he noticed that it had gotten a bit bigger in the time it’d taken him to do that.

_ Huh, that’s weird. _

Two seconds later the figure doubled in size again, and Peter realized belatedly that this was not, in fact, a small figure, but a big one. A big one that was getting closer with each passing second. 

“Oh,” he said in surprise, and that was all he was able to say before the figure - which turned out to be a monster with the bottom half of a seahorse-eel thing and the top half of a regular horse - came bursting into the room. The seahorse-horse started to say something, but all Peter heard was  _ “Mhhlflfl! Hawawjghdh! Hmmmlh?”  _ because he was utterly, completely transfixed on the absolute  _ ripped  _ upper body of the creature. Like...it was seriously jacked. The muscles on its arms alone were nearly bigger than his head. No regular horse that Peter knew had that kind of musculature. 

Peter wasn’t really into huge, muscly guys, but he did have to admit that those guns were impressive.

When he realized that both Harry and the seahorse-horse were staring at him somewhat confusedly, he shook his head and coughed, embarrassed. 

“H-Huh? Oh, sorry, I was a little distracted,” he chuckled sheepishly. “W-What did you say?”

“I  _ said,  _ my name is Aaron,” the seahorse-horse said with a flip of his luxurious mane. “And I hereby challenge you dudes to a flexing competition!” 

Peter looked over to Harry, who half-shrugged, like  _ What do you want me to say? _ He looked back to Aaron and hesitantly asked, “Uh...why?”

“Why?” Aaron blinked, as if he hadn’t ever been questioned about this sort of thing before. “Because… because I’m the flexing champion. And I saw you coming through Waterfall, and I always challenge everyone who comes through here. It’s, like, my thing.” He flexed with both arms, and the veins in his neck pulsed briefly. 

The Underground was a very strange place indeed. But, Peter supposed, if all they had to do to get past this particular monster was indulge him in a display of athleticism, that wasn’t really all that bad. There were plenty of worse things to be challenged to than a flexing contest.

Peter smirked and tossed his own hair back the way Aaron had, taking a swaggering step forward and tipping his chin up. If Aaron wanted to play, Peter would oblige. “Alright, Aaron,” he said, confidence radiating from his every pore. “I’ll take you on. You wanna go? Let’s go.” 

Aaron’s eyes sparkled. 

“Oh  _ yeah, _ ” he crowed. “That’s what I’m talking about!!”

With an eager grunt, he lifted his right arm and flexed, hard. His biceps twitched like a jumpy rabbit. Peter, however, was not intimidated. 

"Oh yeah?" he challenged. "That’s weak sauce! Try to beat...this!" He flexed his own arm, lightly at first. Peter had it all planned out: start off slow,make Aaron think he wasn’t a threat. Then, when the time was right, he’d break out the  _ real  _ Spidey muscles. 

“Please!" Aaron scoffed. "That's nothing!" The seahorse-horse flexed harder, the muscles in his arm straining against his taut skin. It almost looked painful.

"Pfft.” Peter waved his hand. “Come on." He flexed again, and in retaliation Aaron flexed twice as hard. Harry emitted a soft, awed gasp behind Peter, then covered his mouth, turning red. Thankfully, neither contestant seemed to notice his accidental noise. 

“All right, that’s pretty good, I’ll admit,” Peter acknowledged with a slight nod of his head. 

Aaron smirked and raised his eyebrows a couple of times. ”You still wanna go?" he asked smugly. It was kind of weird to see such a cheesy, braggadocious look on a horse’s face. Peter smirked in return and cracked his knuckles. This was it. This was  _ his  _ time. 

With a very dramatic lift of both arms, Peter flexed as hard as he possibly could. It felt pretty good, honestly; he hadn’t used his full strength in quite a while, considering there hadn’t been any need for it of late. Harry cheered from his place on the sidelines.

“Wooo! Go, Pete! Hell yeah! Go dude go!”

Aaron snorted with his equine nostrils and reared back a bit, and for a moment Peter thought he might actually charge like a bull in a ring. Instead, he hefted both arms into the air the way Peter had, and he flexed  _ so  _ hard that he actually flexed himself out of the room. One moment he was there, curling his biceps, and the very next moment he’d vanished, hurtling back down the path they’d come through. All that was left of the self-assured seahorse-horse was a few loose tufts of mane lying in the spot where he’d been standing. Er, slithering. Swimming? 

_ ou can’t really swim through air, so… oh, never mind.  _

"...Wow," Harry said as he and Peter looked over their shoulders. “He’s… He’s gone.” 

“And that’s why you never challenge Spider-Man to a flexing competition.” Peter held his head up proudly, dusting off his hands. Then he rubbed his arm and smiled a little sheepishly. “I think my arms are a little sore now, though, heh.”

Harry walked past his friend cradling his arm and gave a little laugh.

“Let’s hope he doesn’t come back, then, ‘cause I’m definitely not equipped to win a flexing contest.” He shook out his own arms and shuddered, as if the very thought put immense strain on them. 

“Ah, don’t worry! I don’t think he’ll bother us again.” Peter fell back into pace with Harry, and they continued onward through the rocky tunnels of Waterfall. “I thrashed him pretty good. Plus, flexing so hard that you fly out of a room would probably put anyone out of commission for at least a little while.” He chuckled.

Thankfully, as Peter predicted, they didn't encounter Aaron again. There were several more sections that contained small ponds or rivers, and, using their handy knowledge of bridge seeds, the boys were easily able to find their way across. Musing to themselves, Peter and Harry thought that Waterfall wasn’t so bad, really; the puzzles were pretty intuitive, at the least. If they could just keep this up without running into Undyne… 

They had just finished crossing another flowering bridge when their phone rang.

“Oh!” Harry yelped. “Is that- Is that the phone??” 

“Y-Yeah,” Peter said. “Who could that be?” No one had called them since --

The two suddenly locked eyes, and for a fleeting moment they thought - prayed - it might be Toriel. She was calling to beg them to come back, to say she missed them, or to ask them to stay put so she could come find them and guide them home herself. She was calling to say she forgave them.

Then Peter lowered his head, and Harry soon followed suit, biting his lip. No. No, that wasn’t it. It couldn’t be. Well, it  _ could,  _ but it was incredibly unlikely. They’d shattered Toriel’s heart by leaving, and she was doing what she could to protect it from being further damaged. They couldn’t blame her for that. Even if it hurt them like hell. 

“Only one way to find out, I guess,” said Peter, answering his own question. With a deep breath, he answered the call and pressed the button for ‘speaker’. "Ah, h-hello?" 

"Hello! This is Papyrus!" came Papyrus' chipper, somewhat staticky voice through the phone. 

_ Wait, what?? _

“Papyrus?!” Peter and Harry yelped in unison. 

“That’s my name!” Papyrus affirmed happily.

"How did you get our number?" Harry blurted out. “I-I know you gave us yours, but-?” He was so flabbergasted that for a moment, he forgot about the pressing issue that seriously needed to be addressed. 

"How did I get this number?” the skeleton repeated. “It was easy! I just dialed every number sequentially until I got yours!!!" He laughed, and Harry and Peter looked at one another. It had become almost routine at that point, like a well-rehearsed comedy bit, except it wasn’t rehearsed. Papyrus just continued to find new, astounding ways to confuse and/or impress them. 

“You know...we really shouldn’t be surprised,” Peter murmured after a second. Harry nodded in agreement. If anyone would somehow be able to make a ridiculous method like that work, it was Papyrus.

Suddenly Harry remembered the elephant (technically skeleton) in the room, and he nervously began working up the courage to ask Papyrus point-blank what the whole business with Undyne was about. They needed to know. They needed to know if they could still trust him. Telling him what they’d heard and asking for answers was their only option. 

Before he could spit it out, Papyrus asked a very unexpected question of his own. 

"So...Human...what are you wearing...?" 

Both boys jumped, Peter nearly dropping the phone.

_ What?!  _ Papyrus, what are you talking about?!”

"I'm...asking for a friend," Papyrus said evasively. 

"That doesn't make it any less weird, dude!" Harry exclaimed. “Seriously, where is this coming from?!” Harry had thought Papyrus had made himself pretty clear back at his house when he’d said he just wanted to remain friends with them. What on Earth was going on? Had he changed his mind? And was he really so oblivious to dating customs that he thought phone flirting worked like this?? 

"She thought she saw one of you wearing a black sweater," Papyrus continued. “Er...were you?” 

And suddenly, everything clicked into place. This line of questioning wasn’t because of any romantic interest in Harry or Peter. This was reconnaissance. 

_ Oh, my God. He really is helping Undyne. _

Harry’s disposition soured. "Yeah," he mumbled, kicking a small rock. He didn’t care at that moment that this information might get them killed. He didn’t care that Papyrus might catch the obvious displeasure in his voice. All he cared about was the fact that after everything, after  _ all  _ the progress they’d seemingly made with Papyrus… his first loyalty was still to the Royal Guard.

“So you are wearing a black sweater?” asked Papyrus. His tone didn’t change from its usual cadence, so Harry assumed he hadn’t picked up on the change in his own voice. “Got it!!!  _ Wink wink!!! _ " His voice rose higher and obtained a knowing quality on the audible ‘winks’, as if he, Peter, and Harry were all in on some sort of secret together. "Have a nice day!!" 

With that, he hung up, and the boys listened to the dial tone for a few moments before Peter hit ‘End’. 

“I can’t believe it,” Harry said bitterly. “I just can’t believe it. He really is betraying us.” The boy’s fists clenched so hard the knuckles turned white, and his teeth gritted painfully, forcing him to consciously make them relax. “I  _ trusted  _ him, Pete. I trusted him! We both did! And now look where that’s got us.” Harry felt hot tears welling up at the corners of his eyes, but he was too angry to wipe them away. 

Peter was quiet, holding his finger to his mouth in deep thought. 

Betrayal didn’t sound like Papyrus. It just didn’t. It didn’t seem possible that the happy-go-lucky skeleton had managed to deceive them this entire time, and it seemed equally unlikely that he would go turncoat at the first sign of pressure. They hadn’t known Papyrus for very long, but they’d known him long enough that Peter felt confident in their assessment of his character.

_ No. This isn’t what we think it is. This has to be a diversion, o-or a misdirection or something. _

"I...no,” he said quietly. Harry raised his head to look at Peter. “I won't believe it,” the spider-boy stated. His eyes were firm. “I don’t -  _ can’t  _ \- believe that Papyrus is really betraying us. It doesn’t make sense.” 

“But Pete, you heard him,” Harry insisted. “You heard what he asked. His ‘friend’ is definitely Undyne. He’s gonna tell us what we look like so she can stalk us and find us and  _ kill us!”  _ His breath hitched on the last word, and he put his fist to his mouth as more tears threatened to spill. 

“I know what we heard,” Peter said. “But I don’t believe we understood his intentions. Papyrus is a strange guy, Harry; you know that. His methods don’t always seem clear cut, but dammit, they almost always work out in the end.” He nodded, seemingly to himself. “That’s what I think is going on here. I'm gonna believe this is part of a plan."

"A plan?" Harry scoffed. "C’mon, Pete. You really think so?" 

Peter stepped closer to his friend and took his hand in his, looking earnestly into his face.

"Harry,” he said, “Papyrus may be ditzy, but he's not mean and he’s not murderous. We know that. I know it’s hard, but I really think we have to give him the benefit of the doubt." Peter’s eyes took on an imploring shine. 

Harry gazed at Peter in silence as he delivered his theory. Everything in his past experience told him to forget it. Everything with his father alone should have been enough to prevent him from trusting, from giving a second chance, so easily. And yet… He couldn’t find it in himself to write Papyrus off completely. Not yet. The goofy monster had weaseled his way into Harry’s closely-guarded heart, and it would be a pain in the ass to boot him out now.

“Well...I guess you might be right,” he muttered. Peter’s face lit up in a grin as he continued, “I don't know for sure that he’s  _ not  _ selling us out to Undyne, but… I also don’t know for sure that he is. So…” He sighed heavily. “For now, I guess, we’ll just have to wait and see. I’ll reserve judgement until we see what happens next.”

Peter threw his arms around Harry.

“I knew you’d come around! We can’t give up on Papyrus yet, buddy. I have faith in him, and I know you do, too, even if it’s not easy to admit.” He laughed when Harry grumbled something under his breath. “Alright, alright, come on. We have a bunch more of Waterfall to explore.”

“Hopefully we can do it without Undyne breathing down our necks,” Harry huffed. 

_ I guess only time really will tell. Come on, Papyrus. Prove me wrong,  _ he begged silently as they began their trek yet again. _ Please, prove me wrong.  _


	25. Close Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry find a few more echo flowers in Waterfall, as well as a set of plaques describing the sheer power of human souls. They then get an unwelcome visit from Undyne, which nearly ends in them getting skewered. Thankfully, Monster Kid and a big patch of grass are there to make sure that doesn't happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, at least this one's only like, a day late :') With the end of the semester drawing ever-nearer, I'm hoping Saturday will be feasible again. I'll keep doin' my best for you! <3

There were a great deal of echo flowers in the next narrow chamber. The soft turquoise glow of the flowers lit up the dark corridor with just enough light to see, and Peter and Harry began to pick their way carefully through the shallow water. 

As Peter passed by one of the pale plants, he accidentally brushed up against it. The reverberating whisper trapped within bubbled up:

_ A long time ago, monsters would whisper their wishes to the stars in the sky. If you hoped with all your heart, the wish would come true. Now, all we have are these sparkling stones on the ceiling..." _

Peter and Harry paused, then craned their heads up to the rocky cave above their heads. They could see that the ceiling was indeed spotted with thousands of twinkling crystals, shining like imitation stars, but not nearly as bright. 

“Damn,” Peter said softly. He couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the tiny points of light above them. Knowing that it was all the monsters had, because of them… because of humans… “It really isn’t the same.”

“No kidding. God… I can’t even imagine living in a world where you can’t even see the stars.”

Peter scuffed his toe in the water, sending small ripples racing outward. Harry looked around for a moment, then found what he was looking for. He slowly moved over to another nearby echo flower and lightly tapped his finger on one of the petals. 

_ "Thousands of people wishing together can't be wrong! The king will prove that." _

“It seems like all these flowers are related,” Peter said thoughtfully. “Like, in terms of what they’re talking about.” He passed Harry and approached two echo flowers side-by-side. “I wonder if the next one will be the same.”

_ "C'mon, sis! Make a wish!" _

_ "I wish my sister and I will see the real stars someday..." _

Peter closed his eyes and tried to imagine the monster who’d spoken those words. How they looked; what they were thinking; what they were feeling. Were they sad? Melancholy? They’d certainly sounded wistful. Were they apprehensive, knowing their words would be captured forever, for any passerby to hear? Maybe they hadn’t thought about the echo flowers at all, simply releasing the desires of their heart at that moment in time with no regard for their posterity.

Harry pulled him out of his musings when he called, “C’mon, we’d better not loiter for too long. You know, in case you-know-who’s close behind.”

“Ah, yeah, you’re right.” 

Peter gave the clustered echo flowers one last glance before heading after Harry. It really was amazing, he realized, how some of that monster’s story would always be preserved in that tight, cramped cavern hall. Months, years, decades, even centuries could pass, and the sentences swirling within the echo flowers would remain. He wondered if they’d ever encounter the one whose voice had come out of those flowers. How long ago had the words been captured? Peter could only guess. 

Deeper yet, the echo flowers lining the cave walls gave way to small, faded, decrepit plaques with just the faintest hint of words still visible on their surfaces. 

“Whoa," Peter breathed. He slowly approached the nearest one and traced the tips of his fingers along it. The surface was smooth but very weathered, as several cracks and divots had formed. “These look...ancient." 

Harry wandered over and gazed at the plaque in wonder. He studied it for a few moments before shaking his head.

“I can barely read these,” he said. “Can you make out the words?" 

Peter squinted, trying to decipher the thin scratchings that had once formed full words. By some miracle, he was able to put together the basics, and he nodded.

“Yeah, I- I think so. Let me try.” Clearing his throat, Peter began to read slowly.

_ The War of Humans and Monsters. Why did the humans attack? Indeed, it seemed that they had nothing to fear. Humans are unbelievably strong. It would take the soul of nearly every monster just to equal the power of a single human soul." _

“That’s a lot of souls,” Peter said softly. He almost couldn’t fathom it. The souls of every single monster living beneath Mt. Ebott combined, and they still wouldn’t be as strong as his or Harry’s. Just two relatively small, dorky teenage boys. It seemed wildly unbalanced, in his opinion. 

Moving to the next plaque, he read,  _ "But humans have one weakness. Ironically, it is the strength of their soul. Its power allows it to persist outside the human body, even after death. If a monster defeats a human, they can take its soul. A monster with a human soul...a horrible beast with unfathomable power." _

They shared a grim glance. If Papyrus and Sans were to be believed, then that was the fate that possibly awaited them in the king’s castle. Fought, killed, their souls ripped out, King Asgore finally acquiring the last two souls needed to storm the Surface and destroy all of humankind. Just thinking about it… realizing for the first time just how much not simply their own lives, but the lives of every living human rested on them… It was staggering. 

Papyrus had seemed confident that they’d be able to bypass the king with little issues, so long as they asked him nicely to let them through. As much as they wanted to believe that, it just didn’t seem likely. After all, if he had been gathering human souls for the better part of the last century or so, would he  _ really  _ give up the chance to complete his goal when it was so close? Peter feared that his and Harry’s souls might prove too tempting to pass up. 

The last plaque had an illustration of a strange, terrifying creature. What appeared to be gigantic wings sprouted from either side, and its half-turned head was elongated in a wolflike snout. The monster’s jaws were open in a snarl, jagged teeth sprouting from every direction. If that was what a monster with a human soul looked like, Peter and Harry prayed they would never meet one. 

"It's so dangerous for us to be down here," Harry murmured. "We need to get home. Before something like…like  _ this  _ happens.” 

“I couldn’t agree more, Harry.” Peter took one last look at the three ominous plaques before forcing himself to face forward, shaking his head briefly. They’d spent a little while hanging around; it was time to get moving again.

There was a wooden bridge that spanned almost the entire next room. To the left side was another raised ledge, similar to the one above the grass patch, with vertical columns of stone spaced randomly apart. It was incredibly dark in that room, darker even than the usual dimness they’d become accustomed to in Waterfall. The only light they could see came from the very end of the large space, its source impossible to locate. 

It creaked when they stepped onto it. Harry flinched.

“God, it’s so damn dark,” he complained, his head darting nervously from side to side as he wrapped his arms tightly around himself. “I hope it won’t be like this in the rest of Waterfall. I can’t see a thing.”

Peter, despite his own apprehension, put on his bravest face and took another mini-step forward. The bridge creaked again.

_ I’m sure it’s fine. It’s probably an old bridge. Nothing to be worried about.  _

As long as the support didn’t give out, it would be totally fine. Definitely.

“Don’t worry, Har, I’m sure it’ll lighten up again soon,” he said comfortingly. “C’mon, let’s hurry and get through. I think we’re probably pretty close to the halfway point now.” He couldn’t exactly tell how long they’d been traversing the wet caves, but it felt like both ages and no time at all. He’d once gone down in one of those tourist attraction caves with Aunt May, somewhere in Upstate New York; time had felt like that to him then, too. Maybe that was just a common feature of every cave everywhere. 

Harry grumbled reluctantly, but he knew Peter was right, and he began to walk beside his friend across the bridge. They both stepped gingerly, placing their feet down on each board as lightly as possible. Better not to take any chances with a bridge of indeterminate age. 

They’d gotten a quarter of the way across when a glowing spear edged in a turquoise, rippling aura came flying out of the dark and pierced the ground in front of them. Peter and Harry shrieked and jumped back, limbs flailing and heads whipping around to find the source. Of course, they already  _ knew _ , deep in the coldest pits of their stomachs; they simply had to see it to confirm their worst fears. 

And there was Undyne, stepping out from the shadows on the left-hand ledge. A glowing spear identical to the one cleaving the bridge in front of them was clenched in her fist, and her yellow eyes blazed at them hatefully through the slit in her helmet. 

Peter locked onto those eyes with his own, and he shook his head almost imperceptibly as he mouthed the word ‘ _ please’.  _

Undyne raised her spear high above her head. They had a split second to act before it skewered one or both of them. 

"Come on, this way!" Peter shouted. He grabbed Harry’s arm, and together they ran as fast as they could toward the end of the room. Undyne predictably gave chase, keeping pace with the fleeing boys in their mad dash. Up ahead, Peter suddenly spied another patch of tall grass. Oddly convenient? Yes. Possibly a lifesaver? Also yes. Muttering a quick “ _ Oh thank God,”  _ he practically dove into it, dragging Harry along with him. They rolled to a stop and crouched there, panting and wild-eyed, hoping and praying and begging that Undyne would lose them in the thick foliage

Undyne, only a few steps behind, stepped into the grass a few moments after they did. However, due to the extreme darkness of that particular room, it was hard for her to see, forcing her to search with her hands. 

_ I may have to take back my complaint,  _ thought Harry as he breathlessly zeroed in on the shadowy figure of Undyne a few feet away.  _ I’ll take the darkness over being run through by a spear any day. No competition.  _

Finally, Undyne stopped rustling around and stood up to her full height. She stayed like that, paused, for only a moment; then she suddenly plunged her hand down into the grass, like a bare-handed fisherman grabbing for a carp. 

Harry had to bite down on his tongue from letting out a piercing wail. He was certain this was it. She’d found them, she’d grabbed Peter, and now he was next. They were both goners. After making it all this way, they were going to bleed out in the middle of a cave system, and their bodies would never see the light of day again. 

But that wasn’t, in fact, the case at all. Harry realized this when he felt Peter’s hand grab his, holding tightly and squeezing as if to say ‘ _ Hang on, don’t move. _ ’ Overwhelming relief flooded Harry’s body, and he had to force himself to stay quietly crouched instead of collapsing on his back in exhaustion. 

As the two watched silently, Undyne instead pulled up a yellow, spiked, smiling monster that the boys knew very well. Undyne stared at Monster Kid as she held them by their face, her thoughts unreadable. For a brief moment they worried she might hurt the little monster, take out her frustration on them, but thankfully that wasn’t what happened. She gazed at them for a while longer; then, slowly, she set Monster Kid down on their feet beside the grass patch. With a swivel on her metal-clad feet, Undyne walked back the way she'd come, her measured strides not betraying whatever emotions she was currently experiencing. And then, just like that, she was gone. 

Letting out the breaths they'd been holding, Peter and Harry got to their feet and scrambled out the other side. Harry was doubled over again, pressing his hand to his forehead and forcing down the frightened tears that had been building the moment Undyne attacked them.

Once Peter had calmed himself down, he patted his friend’s back soothingly. 

“Hey, Har, you alright? It’s okay, buddy, we’re okay. She’s gone now. It’s alright.”

“Oh my God,” Harry whimpered, leaning against the wall. “Oh my God, Pete, I thought she got you. I swear to God I thought she got you.” 

Peter pulled Harry into a quick hug, wrapping his arms around his middle.

“Y’know, for a second I thought she did, too! But I’m all good, see? We’re fine.” He chuckled and rubbed his neck. “I never thought that grass would save our lives  _ twice,  _ but here we are.”

Monster Kid came dashing through the grass a few seconds later, and they were relieved to see they didn’t appear hurt or scared. Far from it; they were clearly downright ecstatic. 

"Yo...did you SEE THAT?!" they exclaimed, their eyes huge and glistening in amazement. "Undyne just...TOUCHED ME!" They squealed with joy and hopped about. "I'm never washing my face ever again!!!” 

“We’re glad you’re okay,” Peter said, smiling a little tiredly. All this Undyne business really was beginning to sap his energy.

Monster Kid made a  _ psssh  _ sound with their mouth. 

“‘Course I’m okay!! Undyne’s the greatest! She’d never hurt anyone.” They paused. “Except bad guys, I mean.” They shook their head in apparent pity as they stared up at Peter and Harry. “Man, are you guys unlucky. If you were standing just a LITTLE bit to the left...!" 

The boys gulped. 

_ A little more to the left and she would’ve broken my neck, _ thought Peter bleakley. 

“Yo, don't worry!" Monster Kid continued, once again oblivious to their discomfort. "I'm sure we'll see her again! Maybe next time she’ll touch  _ your  _ faces." They laughed happily. Peter and Harry laughed too, although with far more awkwardness. 

Monster Kid ran a quick circle around them in parting, and then they were running off again, executing their usual  _ trip-hop-sprint  _ as always before exiting into the next room in the caves. Peter was somewhat amazed that they never seemed hurt after sprawling flat on their face so often.

He shook his head and turned his thoughts from their small friend back to what had just transpired. His heart was still racing a marathon, although it was finally starting to slow down a bit. Peter looked at Harry, who was holding his head in his hands.

"’Unlucky,’" Harry muttered weakly. " _ Unlucky _ ? I'd say we were  _ very  _ lucky. Almost impossibly lucky, in fact. And I’m really worried that after something like that, our luck’s gonna run out, fast.”

Peter bit his lip. He’d been thinking the same thing. But, hey, they couldn’t give up now, could they? No way; not when they were so close. They could do it. They could do it, and they  _ would  _ do it. That was all they had to keep telling themselves. 

“Don’t be so sure, pal,” Peter urged. “We’re not down for the count yet. As long as we’re still standing, we still have a chance.” Speaking it into the universe made it more likely to come true, right? That was what those positive affirmation videos on YouTube had taught him, if they were to be believed.

Harry sighed, but he pushed himself off the wall and gave a small nod.

“Yeah, I… I guess you’re right.” He blew a puff of air through his mouth. “I guess I can say one thing for all of this: I’ve never survived so many close calls in one day.” 

Peter smiled a little more easily now, and he even laughed.

“Welcome to my world, buddy," he said. "Welcome to my world.”


	26. Papyrus the Not-Betrayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry receive another call from Papyrus -- but this time it's (mostly) good news. With their worries about possible betrayal assuaged for good, the boys continue through Waterfall and meet another one of its colorful characters by the name of Onionsan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a short hiatus, we now return to our regularly-scheduled uploads! :)

Moving on from that rather frightening experience, Peter and Harry came into a room where the first thing they noticed was another star. Beside that star was an echo flower, and a short distance away was a mouse hole. There was another table laden with cheese stationed right in front of the hole, and this time, that cheese appeared to be encased entirely in a pink translucent crystal. 

“Good Lord,” Harry muttered. “Who is _ doing _this to these mice?”

“I don’t know, but I think they highly underestimate these rodents,” Peter replied. “I mean, shoot for the stars, definitely, but a magic crystal? That’s just unfair.” He leaned against the echo flower as he spoke, prompting a simple _ “Squeak” _to emanate from it. It sounded like a very annoyed squeak. 

Pushing off, Peter made his way over to the star and nudged it gently with his toe. Apparently it didn’t matter which body part touched the things, as the familiar voice uttered solemnly, "Knowing the mouse might one day extract the cheese from the mystical crystal...it fills you with determination."

Harry shook his head.

“Yeah. Sure. Let’s go with that.”

“Hey, do I hear my two favorite humans?”

Peter and Harry jumped slightly as another voice called out through the next opening. It took them a moment to place who it belonged to.

“Sans?” Peter asked cautiously.

“Yeah, bud. C’mere.”

Well, this was a pleasant surprise. A bit of a confusing one, though -- hadn’t they just seen him a few rooms back? Privately Peter wondered, with a slightly humorous smile, if Sans was following them. 

_ Nahh. _

They went into the adjacent chamber to find Sans standing beside a very expensive-looking telescope. He waved them over casually.

"Good to see ya’ again, fellas. You’re just in time to take advantage of a once-in-a-lifetime offer.”

“Really?” Peter said, tilting his head like a curious puppy. “And what would that be?”

Sans patted the instrument next to him. 

“I'm thinking about getting into the telescope business.” 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. It's normally 50,000 dollars to use this premium telescope, but...since I know you, you can use it for free. Howzabout it?" 

The boys glanced at the telescope, which was pointed upward. Besides the dozens of glittery stones like the ones embedded in the rest of the cave system’s ceiling, there didn’t appear to be much to use the telescope to look at, but…

_ Why pass up the chance to use a free telescope? _

“Sure, I’ll give it a try! Thanks!” 

Peter stepped up to it and peered through the lens. For a moment he became disoriented, as all he could see was a vast field of red. 

“Hey, Sans,” he said hesitantly, “I think there might be something wrong with -”

The sound of barely-suppressed laughter behind him told him that this was no accident or malfunction -- he’d been pranked.

_ Of course. _

Peter stepped away with a sigh, and Sans stopped trying to hold back his glee, erupting into hearty chortles. 

"Huh? Whatsa matter? You aren't satisfied?” he asked between bouts of laughter. Don't worry. I'll give you a full refund." 

Harry looked with bewilderment between Peter and Sans a couple of times.

“Wait, what’s so funny? Did I miss something?”

“I think your buddy’s just seein’ red, that’s all.” Sans laughed again. 

Harry blinked. “Huh?”

Peter shook his head, but he couldn’t quite keep a faint smile off his face. He couldn’t stay mad over a well-executed prank.

“Alright, alright, Sans. You’ve bested me this time, I admit it. But next time, I’m gonna be ready.”

He waved good-naturedly to him as he continued through toward the opposite end of the room, which was answered with a characteristic two-fingered salute and permanent grin. Harry stayed in place for a moment, blinking rapidly, still with no clue of what had just transpired.

“I...wh-... okay.” He shrugged helplessly. “I, uh, I guess we’ll see you, Sans.” 

“Yup. See ya’ ‘round, kid.”

Harry waited just one more second to see if the skeleton might deign to fill him in on...well, _ anything, _but he just stood there with his same grin, watching expectantly. 

_ Looks like I’m not getting anything from Sans. _

Harry gave him a quick, confused smile, then hurried after Peter, who was just disappearing through the opening. He debated asking him just what, exactly, that odd exchange was all about, but decided against it in the end. Some things were just better left mysteries. 

Down the next path, the lighting became darker, but the glowing grass and nearly neon shine of the water illuminated the way. They passed another echo flower, and out of curiosity Peter gave it a small tap. 

_ So? Don't you have any wishes to make?" _

“Oh!” Peter said suddenly. “I recognize that voice. That’s the monster from that other echo flower, before we ran into Undyne.”

“Hey, yeah! Maybe they were taking a walk.” 

It was kind of cool to think that they were uncovering another piece of this person’s story. These echo flowers were almost like mini time capsules. 

There was another flower down the path, and Peter eagerly raced over to see what it had to say. Another, slightly higher voice floated up out of it:

_ "Hmm, just one, but...it's kind of stupid." _

“I’m sure it’s not,” Peter murmured. He wasn’t sure he’d meant to say it aloud; it had just kind of come out. But if Harry had noticed, he didn’t say anything. Instead he asked, “Think there’s any more?” 

“I bet! C’mon, let’s try and find them. I wanna hear the rest of this.”

Before they could continue their search, though, the phone rang again. Peter looked at Harry, and Harry looked at Peter. There was only one person who could be calling. That wasn’t the question. The question was, were they going to pick it up?

After a moment or two, Peter gestured for Harry to answer it. “Maybe it’s good news,” he said encouragingly. “Let’s not give up on him yet, okay?” Harry’s mouth was set in an uncertain slant, but he sighed and dipped his head. 

“Yeah, yeah. Fine. I’ll answer.”

With two button presses, the call was picked up and placed on speaker phone. As predicted, Papyrus’s voice once again blared from the device.

“Hello!!" Papyrus exclaimed. "This is Papyrus!”

“Hi, Papyrus.” Harry’s voice was flat. A tiny part of him felt bad, but he just couldn’t help it. He couldn’t pretend to be enthused when he wasn’t even sure if their friend truly was their friend at all.

As usual, Papyrus didn’t seem to notice the abnormal tone.

“Remember when I asked you about clothes?" he asked. 

"Yeah, I remember," Harry said. “What about it?” Unconsciously, his leg began jittering up and down with nervous energy. He wondered for a moment if Papyrus was actually going to confess to betraying them. And if he did, what would they say? How could they possibly have that conversation? His stomach was starting to knot up into a hard little ball at the thought of the words that might come through the phone next. 

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Well, the friend who wanted to know...her opinion of you is very...murdery," Papyrus admitted.

“Gee, no kidding,” said Harry. He hated how his voice rose and dipped on those three little words.

"Well, worry not, dear humans!” They could practically hear the confident, proud smile in his voice. “Papyrus would never betray you! Not on his life!!"

Harry’s eyes widened, and he snapped them up to lock with Peter’s. Peter was already looking right at him, a big grin splitting over his face. His raised eyebrows silently, playfully taunted, _ ‘I told you so!’ _

Harry stuck his tongue out in response, then glanced back down at the phone. He swallowed. What to say? There was still a chance they were being blatantly lied to, but somehow… somehow it just didn’t seem _ possible _for Papyrus to lie so confidently. He was generally such a straightforward, honest person. Lying likely wouldn’t come easy for him. But… the things they’d heard… 

Before Harry could search for the right words to say, Papyrus took his silence as a sign to continue. "I am not a cruel person," the skeleton said.. "I strive to be comforting and pleasant. ‘Papyrus! He smells like the moon.’ So, because of my inherent goodness, I told her you were not wearing a black sweater, even though you told me you were!" 

Harry’s heart did a backflip. 

“R-Really?” It came out a painfully hopeful squeak. 

"Indeed! Instead, I made something up!” He sounded very pleased with himself for such genius. Harry felt his legs start to wobble in relief. 

_ Oh my God. He didn’t do it. H-He still...still cares… _

”Get this -- I told her you were _ actually _wearing a blue button-up! How smart is that?! I almost can’t believe I came up with it!” 

Harry looked back up at Peter, whose expression of utter disbelief was almost comical. He assumed his own face probably mirrored his friend’s. Of course. Of course there had to be a catch. Papyrus hadn’t purposely betrayed them, but, in the process of trying to pull a fast one, he’d obviously forgotten that _ Peter _was wearing a blue button-up. So in that aspect, nothing much had changed. Undyne would still be able to recognize them. The only difference was that she’d be identifying Peter instead of Harry.

“O-Oh...that’s, uh...that’s great, Papyrus,” said Harry, trying not to sound too strained.

"It pained me to tell such a boldfaced lie,” Papyrus confessed contritely. “I know that you and the other human would never, _ ever _wear a blue button-up. But your safety is more important than fashion.” He heaved a long, melancholic sigh. “Dang! I just want to be friends with everyone..." After another slight pause, he said, “Well, I’ve got to get going now. But do feel free to give me a ring if you want to chat! I’ll be eagerly awaiting your call!!” 

Papyrus hung up before Harry could reply. He studied the phone briefly in thought before handing it back to Peter, who immediately started to go in on him. 

"Well?" Peter asked, his tone smug and knowing. “What’d I tell you? I told you he had a plan, right? I told you he wasn’t trying to get us killed!”

"You were right,” Harry admitted. “I was…too quick to doubt him. I feel like kind of an asshole.” He rubbed the back of his neck ashamedly. How could he have jumped to conclusions so fast? Papyrus just wasn’t that kind of person. 

_ I’m really sorry, Papyrus. _

Then a rather pressing thought reoccurred to him, and he grimaced.

“But we do still have a problem. Since Papyrus forgot about your questionable fashion sense, we’ve still got a target on our backs. That’s probably how Undyne found us before.” He winced at the memory.

“Hey!” Peter exclaimed, crossing his arms. “My fashion sense is _ impeccable. _ How dare you.” He blew a chunk of hair out of his face, then half-shrugged. “You are right about the problem, though. I’d change up my look, if I could, but sadly I don’t think that’s a viable option right now. We’ll just have to be extra careful, stay vigilant, all that stuff.”

“You say it like it’s easy,” Harry said desperately. 

“Ahh, we’ll be fine. We’ve made it this far, haven’t we?” Peter sauntered off down the path, and he waved to Harry without looking back. “C’mon, buddy! I still wanna find those other echo flowers.”

“But…! Hh, fine. But I hope you know that if she finds us again, it’s your fault. I’m blaming it on you and your dumb button-up.” Peter just hummed in response. 

Much to Peter’s -- and, truthfully, Harry’s as well -- delight, there was another echo flower swaying gently in the drafty air a few yards away. To their further excitement, it contained the same voice and the same continuing story.

_ "Don't say that! Come on, I promise I won't laugh.” _

On the wall beside the flower, Peter noticed another plaque. “Hey, look at that!” he said, elbowing Harry. “Another one.”

“Hey, yeah. What’s it say?”

This one was just as faded and worn as the previous plaques, but Peter managed to read it all the same. _ "The power to steal their souls...this is the power that the humans feared _.” He shivered a little. “I’d say that’s pretty scary, yeah.” Quickly he added, “That’s no justification for such a gross overreaction, though. Definitely could’ve talked it out instead.” Harry nodded grimly.

Up ahead, in the next room, they found a long, natural land mass bridging a wide body of water. 

“Well, this is a nice surprise,” Peter said happily. “No need to swing across this one.”

“Or get your shoes wet,” Harry added. Peter chuckled.

“Yeah, that too.”

They started across, and not a quarter of the way to the middle, several white, gelatinous stalks began to rise up out of the water to their left. There was almost no sound; one moment the water was clear, and the next there were waving, wiggling protrusions that looked far too much like tentacles for either boy’s comfort.

“What the _ hell _ is that!?” Harry yelped, stumbling sideways so quickly he almost fell. Peter snagged him just before he could go over, not taking his eyes off the strange _ things _rising up before them. 

“I don’t know,” he said. His voice sounded more curious than anything, although he wasn’t keen on taking any big risks in discovering what it was. “Maybe we should leave, though. Just in case.”

They started speed-walking across to the other side, but it wasn’t long before a large, round, similarly-colored object popped out of the water to join the tentacle-y things. Peter and Harry stopped dead in their tracks. Half of them wanted to run, to just absolutely book it the rest of the way across and into the next chamber, but the other half was completely transfixed by...whatever this was. It looked almost like an onion, except there were big, shiny anime eyes and a smiling, cartoonish mouth plastered right in the center of it. 

“Oh my God,” Peter murmured.

"Hey...there," said what had revealed itself to be a monster, happily. They spoke in a slow, halting voice that slightly echoed in the tight space. They sounded almost like a certain cartoon character, someone with a distinctive voice, but Peter couldn’t place who. "Noticed you were...here...I'm Onionsan! Onionsan, y'hear!" Their grin got wider, stretching so far that it nearly touched the sides of their face. 

Peter pinched the crook of his elbow to make himself stop staring.

“O-Oh! Hi there!” He laughed a little nervously. Onionsan, as they had called themself, didn’t seem to be any threat, but their sudden appearance had caught him completely off guard. “It’s...nice to meet you!” He gently nudged Harry. “Say hi, Harry.”

“Hi,” Harry said. He raised his hand to his hip in a mini wave. His eyes were still very wide.

If Onionsan had noticed how bewildered they were, they didn’t let on. "You're visiting Waterfall, huh?” they asked. When the boys nodded, they continued, “It's great here, huh? You love it, huh?" 

_ Mickey Mouse!! THAT’S who they sound like. _ Peter had to refrain from snapping his fingers in triumph. Instead, he smiled up at Onionsan with considerably less apprehension and said, “Yeah, it's great! Very...moist.” Harry snorted. 

“That’s one word for it.”

"Yeah! Me too!" Onionsan squealed. "It's my Big Favorite!!" They began to swim to the right, toward the end of the room, and the boys hurried to keep pace with them.

"Yeah!” Onionsan said again. “It’s super great! SO great!” Their smile faltered for a millisecond. “Even though… the water's getting too shallow here. I… have to sit down all the time, but…” They shook their great, bulbous head, inadvertently spraying Peter and Harry with a few stray droplets. “H-hey! That's okay! It beats moving to the city! And living in a crowded aquarium! Like all my friends did!" Again their happy-go-lucky expression twitched. Peter and Harry shot each other a small frown. 

_ This big guy’s really cramped, aren’t they? _ Peter thought sadly. _ No room for them to move. It’s gotta get claustrophobic… _

Onionsan shifted in the water. "And the aquarium's full, a-anyway, so, even if I wanted to, I..." They looked like they were about to cry. And then, suddenly, the smile was back, clearly more forced than before. "Th-That's okay though, y'hear? Undyne's gonna fix everything, y'hear? I'm gonna get out of here and live in the ocean! Y'hear!" 

The boys gulped quietly. 

“Uhh...y-yeah,” Peter said. “We know you will, buddy. You’re gonna make it to the ocean. No doubt about it.” It was just his hope that Onionsan’s relocation would come about some _ other, _less Undyne-y way. 

_ Just another reason for us to break that Barrier ourselves. _

The little group soon reached the end of the corridor, which for Onionsan was as far as they could go. They titled their head and lifted one tentacle from the water. "Hey...there...that's the end of this room,” they noted. 

“Oh, yeah. I guess it is. Looks like we gotta get going.” Peter gave Onionsan an apologetic smile. “It was nice meeting you, Onionsan. We really hope you get to the ocean soon.”

“Thanks, pal!” the monster said, their characteristic smile back in place and their glittery eyes shining. “I'll see you around! Have a good time! In _ Waterfallllllllll! _” Their words trailed off in a burble as they sunk back beneath the water. Soon, all that was left were a few little white bubbles on the surface

They watched the bubbles pop one by one, then made their way out of that room and into the next. 

“Well, that was something I didn’t expect,” Harry said, glancing over at Peter. “Then again, I think almost everything in the Underground is something unexpected.” 

"You got a point.” Peter chuckled, then grew a bit pensive. “Poor Onionsan," he murmured as they continued along the cavern path. "They must have, like, no room. I couldn’t imagine living like that, day in and day out.”

Harry made a small noise of agreement.

“Yeah, I feel bad for them, too. It seems like they just wanna hang out in a bigger body of water. They’re not hurting anybody.”

“I hope they get to live in the ocean someday,” Peter said. “When we bust the Barrier, I’ll come back and take them there myself.” He paused. “I’ll probably need something to move them, though.”

Harry smirked and clapped him on the shoulder.

“No worries. I got you covered. I’ll make a few calls to dad’s construction division. I’m sure they’ll be able to spare a few trucks.”

Now Peter laughed aloud. There was just something wild about the mental image of a bunch of construction vehicles coming down there to haul the larger, heavier monsters up to the Surface. 

“Much obliged, buddy! Much obliged.”

“Don’t mention it. But, y’know, first we have to actually _ break _the Barrier.”

“Heh, true. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.”

But still… it was a nice thought.


	27. Follow the Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After discovering more mysterious plaques, Peter and Harry end up following a musical trail to a side room. With Harry's piano expertise, they manage to solve a puzzle. But what reward awaits them? Unfortunately, not much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels good to be back on track, oh man ;u; Hope everybody's doing well! <3

The next corridor held two more plaques.It was completely devoid of anything else. No flowers, no puzzles, no monsters; just the two plaques, hanging stationary and silent. Peter approached the first one without hesitation and squinted for a moment. 

“This one’s kind of harder to read than the others,” he commented. “But I think I can still make it out.” He studied it for a few more moments, sounding it out in his head. 

_"_ _ This power has no counter. Indeed, a human cannot take a monster's soul. When a monster dies, its soul disappears. And an incredible power would be needed to take the soul of a living monster.” _

Harry shuddered. “God, that’s creepy.” 

“For multiple reasons,” Peter agreed. First of all, the fact that a monster’s soul apparently disappeared right after death? Not all that comforting. If there was, indeed, an afterlife, which Peter fervently hoped, he wasn’t sure whether a soul straight-up ‘disappearing’ meant that it was moving on, or whether it was  _ prevented  _ from moving on. The connotation of the word itself suggested the latter, and though he was no expert on souls or death or anything like that, it didn’t seem quite fair that monsters should be denied the possible chance of existing after physically ceasing to be. 

_ Maybe I’m thinking too hard about it. Maybe it doesn’t mean that at all! It probably isn’t actually that deep. Probably…  _

He  _ could  _ occasionally jump far too quickly to conclusions; perhaps it was better not to indulge any philosophical, existential trains of thought right now.

But the other point addressed in the inscription was just as troubling to him. Monsters could absorb human souls, but the fragility of monster souls made it near impossible for the reverse to happen. He wasn’t quite sure why this particular thing struck him. It didn’t really pertain to anything they were currently experiencing. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that reading those words had given him.

“What’s the last one say?” Harry asked curiously. Peter stepped a few feet to the right to face the last plaque. “Let’s see…”

_ "There is only one exception. The soul of a special species of monster called a 'Boss Monster'. A Boss Monster's soul is strong enough to persist after death...if only for a few moments. A human could absorb this soul. But this has never happened. And now it never will."  _

An eerie silence filled the air after Peter finished reading. Both he and Harry gazed at the plaque for a while. 

“A ‘Boss Monster’,” Harry said. “What...what’s a Boss Monster? What could that even mean?”

A ‘boss’ was a corporate bigwig or a high-powered video game enemy. It was a descriptor, a title, a job occupation. Neither of those things would seem likely to warrant someone’s soul being in a special category. 

“I...don’t know,” said Peter as he continued to hold his eyes on the faded wall hanging. “I just don’t know.” 

Was there some kind of tip-off that would distinguish a ‘boss’ monster from a ‘regular’ monster? Did they all have secret name tags or color-coded outfits or something? Peter highly doubted it. He also figured that going up to every random person they met and going, ‘Hi, how are you, do you happen to be a Boss Monster?’ would be super weird, so that definitely wasn’t an option. All in all, he supposed it didn’t matter; he and Harry had no reason to care whether a monster had the ‘boss’ title or power or whatever. God knew they had no intention of stealing anyone’s soul. It was just intriguing, that was all. And very, very perplexing.

Finally they tore their eyes away from the plaques and forced their legs to start moving again. Standing around wasn’t going to do them any good, that was for sure. Still, the questions posed by the ominous writing lingered at the backs of their minds. 

In the following room, a stone statue of a monster they didn’t recognize sat alone in stony silence. A steady patter of water dripped onto its head from the ceiling, causing a  _ plink. plink. plink _ sound to echo every few seconds. 

The room after  _ that  _ held a wicker basket full of multi-colored umbrellas, and a sign above it that said  _ “Please take one”.  _ Peter, ever the insightful puzzle-solver, felt a proverbial light bulb go off in his head.

“Aha!!”

With a grin, he took a pink umbrella from the basket and ran back to the statue in the other room. Harry looked back in confusion before running after him, calling, “Wait, Pete! Wait, wha- what’re you-?” He watched curiously as his friend opened the umbrella, stood on tiptoe, and placed it snugly in the crook of the statue’s arm. 

“Uh...really? That’s it?” Harry asked. “You wanted to keep the statue from getting rained on?” Peter held up a finger and smirked. 

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, suddenly, from within the statue there came a strange and unplaceable melody, as if there were a music box hidden inside of it. The music seemed to be almost something  _ alive _ , twisting and weaving around them and flowing down the corridor, back the way they'd come from. Like a trail made of nothing but sounds and air.

Peter began to follow the musical trail without hesitation. Harry, still as confused as ever, desperately reached his arm out, although it was far too late to stop him -- Peter had already made it halfway down the hall. 

"Peter, where are you going?" Harry whined.

"I think it's trying to lead us somewhere. Come on!" Peter called over his shoulder. Harry groaned in protest, but ultimately he resigned himself to the fact that once Peter made up his mind, there was no holding him back, and he raced to catch up with the spider-boy. 

The winding melody ended up taking them to a small, somewhat hidden chamber off the main path. All that was in there, as far as they could tell, was an old grand piano. Another plaque on the wall read, _ "A haunting tune plays down the corridor. Won't you play along?"  _

Peter’s eyes lit up as soon as he read this, and he looked excitedly to Harry. Harry noticed the look he was being given and jolted a little.

“W-What? Why are you looking at me like that??”

"Harry!" Peter exclaimed. "You play the piano!”

Harry shifted his weight to his other foot and bit his lip. 

"Y-Yeah, so?" 

Peter gestured wildly to the piano with both hands and an expression that said  _ Isn’t it obvious? _ . " _ So,  _ this is perfect!” he said. “You can solve this puzzle!” 

“How do you know it’s a puzzle?” 

Peter snorted.

“Harry, please.  _ Everything  _ down here is a puzzle.” He made his way over to the piano and patted it multiple times. “I think you need to try and match the music that's coming from that music box!" he insisted. “C’mon, Har, I know you can do it. Think of the possibilities! Who  _ knows  _ what it’ll unlock!” 

Harry eyed the piano a bit more. Then he sighed. 

"Oh, alright. I guess I could try." He hesitantly sat down on the piano stool and poised his fingers above the keys. He wasn’t sure why the idea of playing this particular piano made him somewhat nervous; maybe it was the idea that he had absolutely no clue what consequences it would have. Sure, it could be something good, but what if it was a - a booby trap? There were things like that in the Underground, weren’t there? He couldn’t recall if they’d seen something like that before. 

If Peter thought it might yield good results, though… then he figured he might as well try. Harry listened for a moment to the repeating melody, did his best to translate the notes to physical keys, then began to play. There was a bit of trial and error -- occasionally he’d press the wrong key, and belatedly realize that it was C  _ sharp  _ and not C  _ flat  _ \-- but after a few minutes, his efforts paid off: a hole suddenly opened up in the back wall, leading off to who-knows-where. 

"You did it!" Peter cheered. “Way to go, buddy!” 

Harry stood up from the piano bench and looked at the hole with unfiltered surprise. 

"I did that?” he asked, rather dumbfounded. 

“You did,” Peter affirmed proudly. Harry smiled and put his hands on his hips, lifting his chin a little.

_ I’d like to see Dad say that playing music is useless NOW.  _

"C’mon, let’s see what's in it!" Peter enthused, dashing headlong into the newly-created cave. Harry hesitated for just a beat before following him. Sure, it could be a trap, maybe, but he was pretty damn curious to see what his superb playing had actually revealed. 

Inside the hole there sat a round, red, sparkling gemstone upon a raised pedestal, looking like something out of one of those old  _ Indiana Jones  _ movies. Almost  _ too  _ much like one of those old  _ Indiana Jones  _ movies.

"Whoa," Peter said, his eyes shining with wonder. "It's some sort of ancient artifact!" He went to pick it up, but Harry tugged him back by his shirt sleeve.

“Pete, wait! Don’t you realize this could be some kinda trap?” 

Peter stared at him. “What?”

“It’s- It’s too obvious!! You know, like, it’s just sitting there, all unprotected, but when you actually pick it up, then you get skewered by spikes, o-or run over with a giant stone, or-”

Peter was still staring at him blankly. Harry trailed off into silence. 

_ Right. He’s never seen Indiana Jones.  _

“Look,” Harry sighed. “It’s just probably not a good idea to go grabbing random treasures that’re just lying around. General rule of thumb.”

Peter began to prepare what would surely be a well-crafted, intelligent rebuttal, but he didn’t get the chance -- as they were debating, the little white dog that they’d seen all around Snowdin came dashing in. It hopped up on the pedestal, pressed its body up against the stone, and...seemingly absorbed the thing into itself. There was no other explanation for what had just occurred besides “absorption”. The stone was there, the dog touched it, and then the stone melted into the furry body of the dog. 

The canine gave Peter and Harry a small, cheerful “yip!” before jumping down off the pedestal and absolutely tearing ass back the way it had come. The spot where the precious treasure had been was now completely, depressingly empty.

“...Well,” Harry said. “At...least we know it wasn’t a trap.”

Peter didn’t say anything. He just kept gazing at the place where there had once sat the crown jewel of all shiny rocks. Harry patted Peter’s shoulder sympathetically, gently turning him around and guiding him back toward the room with the umbrellas. 

“Come on, Pete. Let’s keep moving.”

“It took the stone,” Peter murmured at last. 

“I know, buddy.”

“It was so shiny.”

“I know, buddy.”

“I’m sad.”

Harry nodded solemnly. 

"I know, buddy. I know.” 


	28. A Real Cliffhanger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys run into Monster Kid yet again, and they share an umbrella together as they continue along the road. After Monster Kid helps them up a ledge and runs off to find their own way around, things take a rather unfortunate turn and end in a literal cliffhanger. Or, well, cliff-fall, I guess. Not every pun is a good one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I may end up making both Saturday AND Sunday fair game for uploading Undertale since I seem to go back and forth a lot, lmao
> 
> Hope everybody's doing okay! <3

After a little coaxing and a lot of commiserating, Harry eventually got Peter to drop the whole “a dog stole my shiny stone” thing, at least for the time being. They made their way back to the hall right after the statue’s room, leaving the melodic trail behind them to grow fainter and fainter. 

Before leaving the corridor, Peter took another umbrella from the basket, figuring it would be a smart idea. Just in case. It was probably a good thing that he did, as the next area was very, very wet; far wetter than the shallow puddles and not-so-shallow puddles they’d traipsed through before. Water dripped from the ceiling at a constant, steady rate, so much so that it almost felt like rain.

“Whoever put those umbrellas there had great foresight,” said Peter as he opened up the vibrant red canopy. 

Once he and Harry were both comfortably sheltered beneath the umbrella, they ventured on through the dampened corridor. Their shoes made little splashes on the waterlogged ground, but they figured they could deal with mildly wet shoes. Just so long as they weren’t completely drenched. 

Not too far into the passage, Peter and Harry spied their spunky yellow friend once again. Monster Kid was huddled in an alcove, doing their best to stay out of the ‘rain’ as much as possible -- and failing. 

“Monster Kid?” Peter called in slight concern. “Need a hand, buddy?”

Monster Kid’s head snapped up, their eyes going wide at the sound of his voice. A big, happy grin broke onto their face when they registered who it was.

"Yo!!" they exclaimed. "You got an umbrella?" 

"Yeah!" Peter said, beckoning with his free hand. "Come on, get under!" 

" _ Awesooome!” _ Monster Kid cheerfully ran to join them under the umbrella, excess water running down their spiked back and dripping off their tail. “Thanks, dudes. I was gettin’ soaked!”

And so, the newly-formed three-person party journeyed on. For a while it was comfortably quiet. Then, Harry glanced down at the little monster beside him and asked, “So, uh, what were you doing out in the rain, Monster Kid?” He paused. “Eh, well, I guess it’s not really  _ rain,  _ but-”

“I was looking for Undyne!” Monster Kid proclaimed with a twinkle in their eyes. “After we saw her a while ago, I figured she must be coming this way eventually. Sooo, I decided to get ahead of the game! But…then I got stuck.” They chuckled sheepishly. “Until you guys came along! I sure am lucky you showed up.” They wilted slightly, then, letting out a huffy sigh. “I haven’t seen any sign of Undyne yet. I could  _ swear  _ she’d be coming this way!” Monster Kid idly kicked at a little puddle they passed over. “Maybe I’m just too early.”

“Heh, maybe,” Harry agreed. “I’m sorry you haven’t seen her yet. There’s still time, though! Maybe you’ll run into her a little later on.” Privately he added,  _ Hopefully when we’re not around.  _ He felt for Monster Kid, he really did; wishing so fervently to meet an idol was something Harry was quite familiar with. It was just that, unfortunately, it was quite possible that a meeting with Monster Kid’s particular idol would end in blood and broken bones rather than autographs -- for Peter and Harry, at least. He did hope that Monster Kid would meet her eventually, though. 

"I hope so.” Monster Kid sighed again, this time in clear wistfulness. “Man, Undyne is  _ sooooo  _ cool," they murmured. "She beats up bad guys and NEVER loses. If I was a human, I would wet the bed every night knowing she was gonna beat me up!" They laughed gleefully. The boys nervously laughed along with him, eyes darting between one another several times. 

"Haha, yeah...right...totally," Harry said in a strained voice and with an equally strained smile. 

"So, one time," Monster Kid continued, oblivious to their friends’ discomfort, "we had a school project where we had to take care of a flower. The king - we had to call him 'Mr. Dreemurr' - volunteered to donate his own flowers. He ended up coming to school and teaching the class about responsibility and stuff." 

"Yeah?” Peter asked. “That sounds cool! Responsibility’s an important thing to learn.” 

Monster Kid bobbed their head quickly. “Yeah, it was pretty cool, I guess. The king is a nice guy! He’s no Undyne, though.” They looked up at Peter and Harry suddenly, wiggling in excitement. “But that got me thinking...YO! How COOL would it be if Undyne came to school?! She could beat up ALL the teachers!!" They giggled to themself. Peter gave a mock gasp.

“The teachers? That wouldn’t be very nice. The teachers are just doing their job. It’s not evil to be a teacher.” Now he chuckled, too. “Even if school does feel like a prison sometimes.

Monster Kid considered this. "Ummm...maybe she  _ wouldn't  _ beat up the teachers,” they conceded. “She's too cool to ever hurt an innocent person!" Peter and Harry shared another quick glance. Even if that were true, they somehow doubted that would apply in their case. 

After fifteen minutes or so, Peter, Harry, and Monster Kid emerged from the caverns onto a small stretch of path. On the other side was another cave entrance, and if they turned to their left and looked across the way, they could see the majestic, towering form of the castle. Even in the perpetual dimness of the Underground, the lights on the structure were clearly visible, twinkling like stars -- or ceiling stones. 

“Wow,” Peter breathed. The sight was nothing short of spectacular. In New York City they had impressive skyscrapers that reached to the clouds, funky new-age modern apartments, and grand feats of historic architecture, but even the grandest building in the city had nothing on the simple, elegant design of Asgore’s castle. Just one look at Harry told him that even he, as a resident of New York’s snazziest penthouse, was impressed.

“Whoa, look at the Capitol!” Monster Kid exclaimed, running to the edge of the suspended path. Peter reflexively jolted and raised his wrist, ready to fire a web line if their accident-prone companion happened to take a tumble at the absolute wrong time. Thankfully, they kept their balance just fine, and Peter slowly lowered his wrist with a silent sigh. 

“Have you, uh, ever been there?” Harry asked as he and Peter joined Monster Kid’s side. Monster Kid pouted for a moment.

“No. I  _ wish _ . My parents always say that it’s too far to travel, and that there’s no point in going since the king stopped giving tours of the castle. It’s not fair! I never got to see his garden!” They kicked a tiny pebble off the ledge and watched it disappear into the void below.

“The king has a garden?” Harry straightened up a little and tilted his head attentively. Monster Kid grinned.

“Yeah, duh! What, you didn’t know? It’s only, like, his most prized possession. He’s a  _ total  _ nature nut. He used to throw parties there for everyone in the Underground. I really wish I could’ve gone one time.” 

“That’s awesome!” Harry said enthusiastically. “I love gardening, too. I would’ve loved to see his sometime.” After hearing bits and pieces about the monster king, Harry imagined that he, Peter, and Asgore might get along together pretty well, assuming the positive things were true…if there wasn’t the unfortunate problem of Asgore collecting human souls, that was.

“How come he stopped with the parties and everything?” Peter asked.

“I dunno.” Monster Kid shrugged (which was quite the feat, considering they had no arms). “My folks don’t like to talk about it. They said it had something to do with the queen, I think? Something like that.” Before Peter or Harry could fully process that offhand bit of information, Monster Kid raced ahead toward the opposite cavern. “C’mon, hurry up! Undyne’s close by, I can feel it!!!”

“Oh-! Monster Kid, wait--!” But they were already yards ahead, and clearly not intending on looking back. The boys gave each other a somewhat helpless look and, resolving to question their friend about the whole queen thing later on, they hurried after the little monster. 

There was another basket filled with umbrellas just inside the cavern entrance. Shaking off the water first, Peter folded up their red umbrella and stuck it back in with the others. 

"The water's not dripping as much over here, so I don't think we'll need it," Peter said. “Thank you for your service, trusty umbrella.” 

A somewhat exasperated noise drew their attention to Monster Kid again. They were standing at the far end of the room, looking pensively up at a ledge ten or so feet above them. The sheer cliff face stretched from wall to wall, meaning the only foreseeable way forward...was up. 

“Yo, this ledge is way too steep," they complained. “How’re we gonna get up there?” 

Peter and Harry looked up at the ledge as well, and they could see they were right. For a moment, Peter debated using his spider powers. He hadn’t exposed any monsters to his ‘special condition’ this far out of the lingering apprehension of what could happen, but in this case, it might be necessary. 

_ Maybe I could just jump up there with Monster Kid and Harry on my back,  _ he reasoned.  _ Maybe the webs don’t have to get involved. As long as our buddy isn’t too familiar with the physical limitations of regular humans... _

While Peter was silently running through his options, Monster Kid came up with an idea of their own. Turning to face the boys with their brow slightly furrowed, they asked, “Yo, you wanna see Undyne, right?” 

Peter swiveled his right foot back and forth on the toe absently.

“Welllll, I mean, I wouldn’t exactly say-”

“Climb on my shoulders.” 

“What?!” Peter and Harry exclaimed, practically as one. 

“You heard me. Climb on my shoulders! It’s the only way forward. We gotta get you dudes to Undyne no matter what!” They shimmied their shoulders in emphasis and nodded toward the ledge. Peter began to object, but Monster Kid didn’t let him. “I can take it, don’t worry. Just trust me.” 

Peter and Harry gazed at them with clear hesitation. Peter could easily get them all up to the ledge with one good jump; there was really no reason to risk accidentally injuring the small monster. But… seeing their glinting, determined eyes, they knew that Monster Kid had made up their mind. They wanted to help. More than anything. And Peter and Harry didn’t have it in them to deny their friend that chance. 

"Alright," Harry said finally. “As long as you’re sure. Thanks, Monster Kid.” 

“I’m  _ totally  _ sure, bro. C’mon!”

Slowly, carefully, and with slightly wobbling knees, Peter stepped up onto Monster Kid’s shoulders as they stood against the cliff face. The monster grunted, but didn’t waver. 

“You okay? Am I hurting you?”

“I-I’m good, dude! Go ahead!”

With one small, quick push-off, Peter grasped the top of the ledge and pulled himself up and over with ease. Down below, he heard Monster Kid breathe a quick sigh of relief. Peter swung himself around on his knees so that he was peering over the edge at the others down below.

“Are you sure I didn’t hurt you?? I’m not as light as I look, I know that, believe me!”

Monster Kid shook their head vigorously.

“No way! I’m fine, I told you!” They turned to Harry and lashed their tail back and forth. “C’mon, bro, your turn!” 

Harry bit his lip as he approached Monster Kid, glancing down at them worriedly.

“Are you-”

“Yo, if you ask me if I’m sure  _ one more time _ …” 

Harry laughed sheepishly. “Sorry, sorry, heh. Okay, here I go.”

Monster Kid braced themself against the wall once more as Harry climbed onto their shoulders as gingerly as he could. Thankfully for both parties involved, Harry’s ascent went even quicker than Peter’s, as Peter was there to reach down and hoist his friend the rest of the way up. Once both boys were safely on top of the ledge, they turned back to Monster Kid on the ground.

“Oh, no,” Peter groaned in dismay. “How are you gonna get up here, now? We didn’t think this all the way through, did we? Shoot.” He shifted on his knees once again, preparing to climb back down to get their compatriot, but Monster Kid shook their head.

“Nahh, it’s all good! You guys go on ahead. I’ll catch up with you.” 

“What? But how?” Harry asked in confusion. “This is the only way ahead, isn’t it?”

Monster Kid made a  _ ppssh  _ noise with their mouth. “Ahhh, don't worry about me, pal! I always find a way to get through! See ya’ on the other side!!" Without giving Peter and Harry room to argue, they ran out of the cave back the way they had come at full speed. Even from their elevated vantage point, the two could see Monster Kid’s inevitable stumble, and they couldn’t help but chuckle fondly as the little monster speedily got back to their feet and sped away. 

Peter shook his head with a smile. 

"Well, the little guy’s determined, I’ll give ‘em that." Harry nodded with a grin of his own. 

"Yeah. Between them and the weird, omnipotent voice, I’d say we’re getting all kinds of lessons in determination today.” 

Both stood up and brushed off their pants, and once they were ready they continued on the path set before them. 

The first thing they came across, only several minutes into this next phase of their journey, just so happened to be another series of worn and weathered plaques. Immediately fixating on them, Peter drew closer, eager to read more of the fascinating - although incredibly tragic - tale. "Harry, look! It’s more of these inscriptions. I guess the last one back there wasn’t the end, after all.” He cleared his throat.

_ "The humans, afraid of our power, declared war on us. They attacked suddenly, and without mercy." _

"I just don’t understand,” he muttered. “Why would humans attack the monsters if they didn't do anything? It’s insane.” And though he voiced this query aloud, in reality he realized that he already knew the answer. Fear was a powerful motivator. A population full of fear could be driven to almost anything; even senseless violence. 

“Yeah…” 

Harry’s attention was suddenly drawn from the plaque to a star on the ground beside it. He stared at it for a minute, wrestling back and forth in his head over whether to alert Peter or just suck it up and touch it himself. Eventually he decided on the latter. He couldn’t very well spend the rest of his time in the Underground being afraid of some inanimate objects. Even if he  _ hated  _ the sensation they gave him, in the end it didn’t do much harm. Squeezing his eyes shut briefly, he forced himself to lean down and tap the top of the star. 

"The serene sound of a distant music box...it fills you with determination," said the voice. Peter whirled around from where he’d been still studying the plaque, his eyes wide.

“Harry, did you touch a star? Without me peer-pressuring you?”

Harry grimaced as he shook out his hand.

“Uh-huh. Can’t really justify being afraid to touch a couple of stars after you’ve touched so many, y’know?” 

Peter grinned.

“Fair enough. I’m proud of you, buddy. Way to take initiative!”

“Yeah, yeah. Just go read the next plaque.”

Peter did just that, stepping up to the second inscription on the wall. 

_ “In the end, it could hardly be called a war. United, the humans were too powerful, and us monsters, too weak. Not a single soul was taken, and countless monsters were turned to dust..."  _

Peter pressed his lips together firmly. 

"Senseless bloodshed. So many people killed, and for what?” He clenched and unclenched his fist by his side. “And even after centuries, we really haven’t changed a bit.” The ongoing wars on the Surface proved that. 

Harry simply sighed and lowered his head. Between the two of them, they’d all but run out of words to say on the matter. Now, all they could do was privately reflect on the horrors their kind had done, and how they were going to rectify it. 

That feeling of hollow melancholy lingered as they made their way into the next room. It was, however, almost immediately replaced with an overwhelming sense of foreboding when they took their first steps onto the bridge that spanned the entire passageway. It was incredibly dim, not unlike the corridor where they’d first encountered Undyne. Deep, sharp shadows played over their faces. 

"Peter," Harry whispered fearfully. His eyes darted all around as though seeking out some specter in the dark. “I...I don't like this. This feels wrong." 

Peter didn’t reply verbally, just nodded almost imperceptibly. His spider sense had begun to buzz vaguely in his skull the moment they’d stepped into the room, and thus all his focus was aimed at finding the source that had triggered it. He had a sinking, sneaking suspicion that he already knew what the imminent danger was, but that didn’t stop him from hoping with every fiber of his being that he was wrong. 

_ Maybe Aaron’s back for a rematch?  _ he thought bleakly. 

Bright, blue, disc-shaped spots of light suddenly appeared on the bridge, hundreds of them all around the human boys. Peter’s heart dropped all the way to his toes, and he pushed down the bile that threatened to overflow. 

_ “Run, Harry!” _

In mere milliseconds, the spots turned into spears that thrust upward from the bridge. Three of them would have impaled both Peter and Harry where they’d stood had they not begun moving an instant before. 

On a parallel bridge, Undyne melted out of the shadows and mirrored their movements in pursuit, all the while conjuring dozens of spears from the ground. Peter and Harry weaved in between the weapons as best they could, but even Peter’s nimble agility wasn’t enough to keep him totally unscathed; one spear managed to catch him on the back of his pant leg, tearing a startled scream from his throat. He could feel a thin trickle of blood running down his calf.

_ No time, no time. Later.  _

The boys sprinted across the bridge for what felt to them like hours. When they finally reached the end of it, to say they were devastated was an understatement: what greeted them was not another opening in the cavern wall, but a dead end. A straight drop down into nothing but blackness. 

"Oh,  _ no _ !" Harry wailed. He felt his breathing speed up to an unhealthy rate as he clutched at Peter’s sleeve. "Oh, God, w-what do we do?  _ What do we do?! _ " Peter himself was frozen, unable to look away from the yawning chasm below. It was like the synapses had momentarily stopped firing properly in his brain, fried by the realization that this time, they had absolutely  _ nowhere  _ to go.

The slow, heavy, plodding footsteps approaching from behind forced both of them to turn around, no matter how much they didn’t want to. They just stood there in mute terror as Undyne came closer and closer, the only spear in sight now in her hand. She stopped when there was about seven feet left between them, and for a moment she just stared at them, yellow eyes unblinking. Peter, finally fishing his voice out from the crater of fear in his chest, moistened his lips and tried to say something.

“Undyne…ple-”

With a simple raise of her arm, Undyne summoned a lightning-fast hail of spears right between herself and Peter and Harry. The barrage resulted in the bridge being cut neatly in half at that juncture, and a horrendous  _ crack  _ pounded the boys’ ears like a waterfall. They only had time to summon the air for a scream before their portion of the bridge broke away, sending them both plummeting down, down, down into the inky black beneath. 

Undyne remained where she was, standing silently as the heartrending shrieks of the two human boys grew further and further distant. When the sound no longer echoed in the chamber above, she turned and walked back across the bridge.


	29. The Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys both hear a strange, enigmatic voice while unconscious, and after waking up they discuss the possibilities of what it could mean. They also begin their exploration of the Dump, whereupon they discover a really, really mad dummy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically this is going up on Sunday, but I haven't gone to bed yet so I'm counting it as the same day, shhh!

Peter and Harry fell for a long, long time. So long, in fact, that somewhere around midway to the ground, both boys blacked out, completely fading from consciousness. Perhaps it was due to the immense fear and stress pounding through their systems; perhaps it was their bodies’ way of trying to protect them from the inevitable painful impact; but whatever the reason, they weren’t awake when they hit the ground, and that was probably for the best, because the landing was rough. 

It wasn’t, however, rough enough to kill. Or rough enough to even cause any kind of permanent injury. Certainly they’d be feeling it when they finally regained their senses, but no bones were broken, no organs were damaged, and all limbs were still one hundred percent attached. The reason for this was almost entirely due to the surface on which they’d landed: not the cold, hard ground that surrounded them on every side… but rather a tiny, circular patch of the same golden flowers that they’d come to rest on after their first major fall; the fall that had brought them into the Underground. The odds of landing on yet another patch of the same flowers after a very similar, would-be deadly fall were about a million to one. Had Peter been awake to realize it, he would’ve speculated that either they were  _ incredibly,  _ stupidly lucky, or that probability just worked differently down there, somehow. Not that he’d be complaining, but it was still wildly unlikely that their lives would be saved, yet again, by a seemingly perfectly-sized patch of unassuming flora. That kind of thing only happened in fiction. Didn’t it?

But Peter was not awake, and neither was Harry. After coming to a jarring stop, they remained unconscious for a while longer as they lay prostrate atop the bed of bright flowers. Their minds were consumed in featureless black. 

Then, in the midst of their mental haze, a voice that was at once familiar and strange began to speak. 

_"It sounds like it came from over here…_ _Oh! You've fallen down, haven't you...Are you okay? Here, get up..."_

The voice paused, as if listening. 

_ "Peter and Harry, huh? Those are nice names. But...who's your friend back there? I think he might have passed out on the way down. We should get him back to my house."  _

Again it paused. 

_ "Haha, that's a nice name, too. My name is..." _

Both suddenly awoke with a start. They shot up into a sitting position and began looking around wildly, each searching for the voice they’d heard mere seconds ago. Their faces were awash with confusion, forgetting momentarily where they were and what had just happened. It took a short while, but eventually things came flooding back, and Peter briefly abandoned his search for the mysterious speaker to frantically pat himself down. Upon discovering that his body appeared to be wholly intact, he let out a laugh of pure relief.

"We're...we're alive! Oh, my God, Harry! We’re  _ alive _ !" he exclaimed. Now Harry paused in scanning the area and turned to his friend with impossibly wide eyes.

“P-Pete?” he asked waveringly. “Where are we? What…” A look of understanding passed over his face as he, too, recalled the previous events. “Holy shit, we’re not dead!! We actually  _ survived!”  _

“I know, that’s what I’m saying!” Peter said with a grin. “Can you believe it?! No jagged rocks! No raging river! Nothing except-” He patted the space next to him and found the springy texture of the golden flowers. His face faltered for a moment in surprise. “...Flowers?” 

Harry looked down and blinked a couple of times.

“Hey, yeah. These look just like the ones back in the Ruins,” he said in slight awe. “That’s crazy.”

“Would you look at that,” Peter murmured, wonder apparent in his voice as he gently stroked the petals of the closest flower. “Of all the places to land…” 

Peter began to stand up, but something stopped him. The boy frowned slightly. There was something he’d been doing before registering where they were, but what? His brain was still a little fuzzy from the fall, so he had a bit of a hard time recalling what he’d been so intent on. It was there, though; he could feel it nagging and squirming and begging to be noticed. He shook his head in frustration, and a faint echo of the voice he’d heard during his blackout floated back to the top of his mind. 

_ “Peter and Harry, huh? Those are nice names,”  _ it had said. 

_ The voice! _

“Harry,” Peter said suddenly, reaching out to grab his friend’s arm. Harry looked up at him, startled. 

“H-Huh?”

“Did you...did you hear a voice? Just before you woke up?” 

Harry’s eyes grew even larger, and he whipped his head around to look over his shoulder.

“Yeah! You heard it too?! I thought maybe it was just- just a dream or something. Y’know, since we blacked out and all. I thought it was an auditory hallucination.” 

"I thought that, too,” Peter agreed, “until just now. If we heard the same thing, then it couldn’t have been just in our heads. What did it say?” 

Harry thought hard, trying to remember exactly what had been said.

"I...I think it said our names. And that we fell down. Something about another person, too.” 

Peter nodded thoughtfully.

“That’s what I heard, too.” He looked at Harry earnestly, leaning forward with his hands on his criss-crossed legs. “Harry. Do you know what this means?”

“There’s a ghost following us?” Harry asked. 

“No!! Well...I mean,  _ maybe.  _ But that’s not what I was getting at.” Peter put his chin in his hand and slightly furrowed his brow. “It means that there’s something even bigger going on down here. Another mystery for us to solve! For whatever reason, that voice knew us by name -- and I think that’s a sign that we’re supposed to dig deeper. I wanna know who that was, and why they knew us.” 

Harry made a little exasperated noise. “Pete, can’t we just let it be? For now, at least?” he asked pleadingly. “We already have enough on our plates. You know, finding our way home, breaking the Barrier, letting the monsters get back to the Surface? Finding the identity of a mysterious voice saying our names - a voice that could still possibly have just been some weird auditory fluke, since, you know, we were both passed the hell out - is kind of low on my list of priorities.”

“Well, it should be higher!” Peter insisted as he got to his feet. “Come on, Har. That definitely wasn’t a fluke, not if we both heard the exact same thing. You can’t tell me you’re not at least a  _ little  _ intrigued.” 

“I mean...I guess, but-”

“And what about the other person it mentioned?” he asked. “That person could be the key to this whole thing! Maybe they’re down here, somewhere. Maybe we can find them.” The voice had definitely mentioned another person after greeting both himself and Harry. They couldn’t hear the name, or the name of the speaker, and that made Peter feel like it was all the more important to discover who  _ both  _ people were. 

“I understand why you’re so curious,” Harry said, pushing himself up to stand beside Peter, “but I guess I just...I’m not so sure if there  _ is  _ anything to uncover right now y’know? It was weird as hell, definitely, and you’re right - I do kind of wanna know who was talking and why they were apparently talking to us. I also wanna know where it came from, considering there was no one around when we woke up.” He gestured briefly around the area. “But right now, all we have to go on is the voice. It didn’t say much of anything besides our names, and mention that other mystery person. So where would we go from here?” Peter was silent, and Harry could tell he was thinking. Quietly, kindly, Harry added, “There is a mystery here, but right now we just don’t have enough of the puzzle pieces to solve it. We might find out more eventually, though, and if and when we do, then we’ll do everything we can to put it all together. Sound like a plan?”

Peter looked up at his friend, nodding slowly.

“Yeah...yeah, I guess you’re right. We don’t have that much to go off now. Truthfully, I wouldn’t even really know where to start.” He laughed a bit sheepishly. “Geez, guess I got a little carried away there. It’s just...you know how I am. When there’s something like this, something with a secret just waiting to be discovered-”

“I know, Pete,” Harry said with a smirk. “Believe me, I know. And that’s why we WILL figure it all out, as soon as we have more information. I’m just as mystified as you are, so hopefully the near future will throw us a bone and give us  _ something  _ to work off of.” 

“God, me too, buddy.” Peter shook his head. “This is all I’m gonna be able to think about for hours now, I just know it.” He looked ahead, down the new path they now had to follow, and sighed softly. “For now, though, we’d better keep moving. With any luck, Undyne thinks we’re dead and isn’t hunting us anymore, but somehow I have a feeling we weren’t  _ that  _ lucky.” Harry grimaced.

“Yeah, I doubt it.” He rolled his neck and winced as a muscle spasmed. That fall hadn’t done his muscular health any favors. “Guess the only way we can go is forward, since I don’t really see the point of climbing all the way back up there, especially if she’s still lurking around.”

“Yep,” Peter agreed. “Forward it is. Who knows? Maybe this path will take us to the Capitol quicker.” It was wishful thinking, he knew, but better to be an optimist than a pessimist. 

They stepped off the bed of flowers and immediately sunk half an inch into a standing pool of water. Peter took a very slow, deliberate breath in through his nose.

“You know,” he said tiredly, “I don’t even care anymore. I really don’t. I’m already wet. At least it isn’t sewer water, you know? I’ve stepped in worse. I’ve been drenched head to toe before. A little water in my shoes won’t hurt me. It won’t hurt me.” Harry gave him a sympathetic pat on the back. 

“Just let it out, buddy. It’s okay to be frustrated. I don’t like wet socks, either.” 

Peter took another couple of breaths, and then he straightened his shoulders and nodded to himself.

“We’re good. We’re good.”

“You’re good.”

“I’m good.”

Peter, now having made a herculean effort to put aside his extreme distaste for soaked shoes in the interest of Harry’s sanity and his own, decided to focus instead on the new environment they now found themselves in. As they walked along the intermittently wet path, they passed countless random objects piled up in the water around them, including couches, pillows, clothes, and cooking pans. 

“Geesh, what a dump,” he observed. “Where’d all this trash come from?” 

“I guess even the Underground needs a place to chuck their garbage,” Harry said. 

Peter spotted a yellow star amongst the soggy refuse. Like second nature, he bent over and tapped it lightly. The voice boomed,  _ "The waterfall here seems to flow from the ceiling of the cavern. Occasionally, a piece of trash will flow through and fall into the bottomless abyss below. Viewing this endless cycle of worthless garbage...it fills you with determination." _

"That was a weird one," Harry snorted. “I don’t know if an ‘endless cycle of worthless garbage’ would give  _ anybody  _ determination.”

“What about city rats?”

“Okay, yeah, I guess rats might be inspired by that.”

Onward they trekked, past a rusted bike and a beat-up desktop computer, a ratty bean bag chair and a half-eaten cantaloupe, a broken wicker chair and a smashed ceramic pot. They also passed by a faded yellow training dummy, and Peter noticed that it looked nearly identical to the one that Toriel had used to teach them about battles and mercy so long ago. At least, it felt like so long ago.

“Hey, look at that,” he said, nodding toward the dummy. “That looks like the one Toriel had. You don’t think it’s the same one, do you?”

Harry peered closer at the dummy.

“Hmm...no. This one isn’t as patchy as the other one. And it’s got shinier eyes. It is kinda funny that there’d be another one lying around down here, though.” He gave the dummy’s head a gentle pat, and the two boys continued on their way.

It was maybe only five or six seconds since they turned their backs before a loud splash erupted behind them. Peter and Harry whirled around in shock, half expecting to find Undyne advancing on them once again… and saw, instead, the yellow dummy they’d commented on in passing mere moments ago, literally hopping towards them on its stand. The beady black eyes had morphed into wide, crazy-looking cartoon caricatures, and though it would appear impossible for a face of cloth to have any real, distinguishable expression, the face of the dummy was undeniably one of pure rage. 

“Wh- Huh?” That was all Harry could utter in his confusion. Peter didn’t say anything at all; he just continued to stare in disbelief as the dummy hopped closer and closer, kicking up water and giving them the most evil stink eye he’d ever seen, including various villains. 

Whatever was about to happen, Peter realized, it was going to be weird.


	30. Dumps 'n Dummies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mad dummy antagonizes Peter and Harry in the Underground's garbage dump. Afterward, an old friend appears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe we're already at chapter thirty, wow! Ten more and we'll be halfway through the whole story ;o; Crazy!!

“Um...hey there!” Peter called, lifting a hand to his side and offering a hesitant wave to the advancing dummy. “Hi! Is there something we can help you with, buddy?”

“ _ Buddy?!”  _ screeched the dummy in high-pitched, nasally outrage. “I’m not your  _ buddy! _ ”

“You could be,” Peter suggested with a cautious smile. “I mean, w-who’s to say?” The ragged yellow mannequin deepend its scowl, which hadn’t previously seemed possible.

“NO!!” The dummy made a particularly large splash as it hopped ever closer. “Don’t be stupid! I could  _ never  _ be friends with the likes of YOU!” Soon it had just about gotten within three feet, and Peter and Harry nervously took a half-step back, Harry visibly flinching. At the sight, the dummy’s scowl transformed into a twisted smirk. 

" _ Hahahah! _ " it cackled. "Too intimated to fight me, huh?! Pathetic COWARDS!”

“Hey! We’re not cowards!” Harry said indignantly, hoping the slight tremors running through his legs weren’t as noticeable as he thought. 

“Yeah, lay off!” Peter pouted. “What’s your problem, anyway? We didn’t do anything to you!” 

The dummy sneered as it finally came to a stop - at least for a moment. “It’s not about what you did to  _ me, _ ” it scoffed. “It’s about what you did to my family!” 

Peter couldn’t keep the exasperation off his voice or out of his tone. 

“Literally  _ what  _ are you talking about??”

“I am a ghost that lives inside a dummy,” said the dummy, shimmying the top half of itself as if in emphasis. The way it moved was really strange; the stitches around its middle somehow allowed it to bend the upper part separately from the lower part, even though it should’ve been impossible without some sort of hinges. Then again, as it had just stated, it was a ghost inside a dummy. Logic probably didn’t really apply here. “My cousin used to live inside a dummy, too,” the creature continued. “Until...YOU!” The enraged expression was back in an instant. “You..." 

And then it trailed off. Peter and Harry blinked. The yellow doll pursed its cloth lips as it thought, until finally it gave a short huff.

"...Shucks! You were really boring!” it exclaimed. “They got annoyed and flew away like any self-respecting spectre.” 

“Boring?” Peter asked, offended. “Look, pal, I’d stand here and argue with you about using the term ‘boring’ to describe two clearly very un-boring people, but that would probably be a waste of time. So instead, I’d like to ask...why are you so mad if your cousin just up and left?” He folded his arms and sniffed. “Last I checked, annoying someone wasn’t a crime.”

Apparently the dummy disagreed, as it began to hop around in agitation, kicking up more water and startling the boys into taking another step back. “You don’t think so, huh?! Well then. Well then! WELL THEN!" it shouted. "Boring people are crumbs sticking to the face of this world. Humans! I'll wipe you away with the dainty handkerchief of vengeance!!"

‘Dainty handkerchief of vengeance,’ huh? Peter had to admit, for a mad dummy, the monster had a pretty good library of analogies. Maybe even good enough to rival his own. That was a hard  _ maybe. .  _

“Oh, yeah?” Peter asked with a bit more swagger than he currently felt. “And how are you gonna do that?” He turned on his heel and motioned to Harry. “C’mon, Har. Let’s leave this dummy to his blustering.” Harry bit his nails and eyed the dummy, but he hesitantly began to follow Peter, backing away so he wouldn’t have to take his gaze off the unpredictable monster. 

At first, the dummy didn’t do anything. It just stood there and fumed, turning red (literally) as it watched them head off. It almost seemed like they were going to make a clean getaway… until it let out a shrill shriek, and a small army of ten to twenty mini-dummies came hopping out of the darkness and surrounded them both. 

Peter and Harry immediately stopped dead in the center of the tightening circle, Peter defeatedly muttering, “Well, I guess I  _ did  _ ask how he was gonna do it.”

“HahaHAHA!” the mad dummy cackled, hopping this time in glee instead of fury. “NOW you’ll see why you don’t mess with dummies!” It gave a sharp look to all the assembled, smaller dummies. “GET THEM!”

There was a chorus of tiny squeaks, and then about a dozen scribbly, rounded, roughly fist-sized projectiles came hurtling toward Peter and Harry. They looked almost like the wadded-up paper balls that were constantly tossed about in the school halls, except the boys had a sinking feeling that these would hurt a lot more. 

Thankfully, whether due to the scribble balls’ size or the general lack of aim on the part of the mini dummies, they were able to jump over or duck under most of them with relative ease. Some of the balls missed entirely, and one even ended up smacking the mad dummy right in its face. Peter and Harry couldn’t help but laugh at the monster’s misfortune. Hey, when someone was being an ass, it felt kind of good to see them get their comeuppance (within reason, of course). 

"Owwww, you DUMMIES!" it wailed in anger and surprise. "Watch where you're aiming those magic attacks!!" Apparently feeling that disclosing the nature of the attacks might give its foes an unfair advantage, it suddenly snapped its head back to the boys and growled, "Hey! You two! Forget I said anything about magic!" 

"Listen, dude," Peter said, holding his hands up, “we really don't want any trouble. We just wanna move on and, preferably, forget this ever happened. I mean, what’s the point of fighting? Is it  _ really  _ gonna solve anything?” Peter folded his hands. “Come on, whaddaya say? How about we let bygones be bygones?" He smiled expectantly and leaned forward a bit. 

The mad dummy pondered his words for exactly two seconds before screeching, "What’s the point?  _ What’s the point?!  _ FOOLS!! I'll defeat you and take your souls!" With a gesture of its head, the mini dummies fired off more wastebasket fodder. Once again, a stray attack happened to hit the monster as it sailed clear over Harry’s head, and it hopped around in a rage.

“Oh, not you, too,” Harry groaned. “Looks like everybody wants our souls these days.”

“I'll use your souls to cross the Barrier!” the mad dummy declared. “I'll stand in the window of a fancy store! THEN EVERYTHING I WANT WILL BE MINE!" 

"I thought you were trying to avenge your cousin,” Peter said suspiciously, scrunching his lip. The dummy blinked a couple times. 

"Huh?” it murmured. “Oh, yeah, I guess that'll avenge my cousin. What was their name again...?" 

Peter and Harry shared an exasperated look. 

“This isn’t about your cousin at all, is it?” Peter asked. “Dude, that’s low.”

The mad dummy scowled and shimmied in agitation. "Whatever. Whatever! WHATEVER!" it barked. “I WILL BE VICTORIOUS!” 

Peter and Harry ducked under another assailment of magic attacks. This time two bonked the dummy on the head in succession. An unearthly, enraged howl tore out of the monster’s fabric throat, and Harry actually raised his hands to his ears to block it out. 

"Foolish. Foolish! FOOLISH! Pitiful. Pitiful! PITIFUL!" the dummy screeched. “This is...THIS IS…!!!” After a moment of sputtering, it suddenly leaned its head back and shouted, "HEY! YOU GUYS!" 

The smaller dummies that had been badgering the boys ceased their attacks and hesitantly gathered around their leader as Peter and Harry watched in slight confusion. Now what?

"Hey. Dummies!" the mad dummy huffed. "Remember when I said NOT to hit me?” There was a low murmuring in the crowd of tiny monsters. “Well...FAILURES!” screamed the dummy. YOU'RE FIRED! YOU'RE ALL BEING REPLACED!" 

Though they were a good distance away, the boys could see pure shock in the shiny button eyes of the dummy lackies. Clearly, they hadn’t anticipated losing their jobs over a few inaccurate throws. (Well, okay,  _ most  _ of their attacks had been wildly off, but still.) The mini dummies looked between each other. Then, with sad, resigned little squeaks, they all hopped away into the expanse of Waterfall. 

“Aww,” Peter said, frowning with genuine concern. “Poor little guys.”

“They were trying their best,” Harry said. “You didn’t have to dump them.”

The mad dummy began to laugh hysterically. "Now you'll see my TRUE power!" it jeered. "Relying on people that aren't  _ garbage _ !" From out of the shadows lining the cave walls, a whole new cabal of robotic dummies swiftly entered the scene, taking the place of the fabric ones that had previously surrounded the boys in a ring. 

“Whoa! Where did those come from?!” Peter yelped. “Were they here this whole time?” 

As a response, the new mini robot dummies each shot off a round of three high-grade missiles. Well,  _ that  _ was certainly a lot different than little scribbled paper balls.

"Yipe!!" 

Peter grabbed Harry and hit the ground a split second before the targeted missiles would have made impact. Instead, they just barely grazed the boys’ backs and collided with the mad dummy in a shower of sparks and smoke. 

"AAAAAAGH!” it howled. “DUMMYBOTS! TRY AGAIN!" 

The robots obediently set off more of their missiles, and just like last time, quite a few of them ended up hitting the mad dummy. Peter couldn’t stifle the laugh that came bubbling out. This guy just couldn’t win, could he? Served him right for picking a fight for no reason. 

This time when the monster spoke, it was in pure, undiluted bewilderment. "DUMMYBOTS!! You're awful???"

Harry and Peter jumped over the next barrage of missiles with a practiced ease, and after getting pelted by at least three more, it seemed the mad dummy had had enough. Working up a bellow, it called, "DUMMYBOTS!  _ FINAL ATTACK! _ ” 

The boys weren’t sure what the ‘final attack’ was going to entail, so Peter moved to crouch defensively in front of Harry and prepared himself for anything. As it turned out, the ‘final attack’ was just...the same thing as before. All of the little robots fired their missiles in unison, and just as they had each time before, Peter and Harry jumped, ducked, and dodged out of the way of every weapon. There was a distinctive  _ thud-BOOM  _ as another missile hit the mad dummy. With a face that belied confusion and disappointment of the utmost degree, the monster stopped its ceaseless hopping and stared at the circle of robot dummies.

"I...no… N-No way! These guys are even WORSE than the other guys!!!” it wailed. 

“Let this be a lesson to you,” Peter said, raising a finger and affecting a lecturing tone. “Never pass off to others what you can do for yourself.” Returning to his normal voice, he added, “And don’t try to kill people for their souls. That’s, like, incredibly rude.”

The dummy released another frustrated howl, and the boys could swear there was actually  _ steam  _ shooting out the sides of its sewn head. 

“Who cares. Who cares! WHO CARES!” it shouted. “I DON'T NEED FRIENDS!! I'VE GOT  _ KNIVES _ !" To the astonishment of both Peter and Harry, it whipped a very sharp-looking blade out of... thin air, apparently, and it hurled it at them with as much force as it could possibly muster. 

The knife fell short several inches and clattered to the ground harmlessly. Peter, Harry, and the mad dummy all stared down at the knife mutely. Then the dummy wilted, its vibrant red hue fading back to its original washed-out yellow. "I'm...out of knives,” it said weakly. 

“Can we finally stop this now?” Peter asked, putting his hands loosely on his hips. “ _ Please?”  _ Harry crossed his arms and glared at the dummy, tilting his head up slightly. The monster looked back up at them, and though briefly it looked frantic and desperate, that look was soon replaced with a manic grin.  _ _

“NO! IT DOESN'T MATTER!! YOU CAN'T HURT ME AND I CAN'T HURT YOU!  SO YOU'LL BE STUCK FIGHTING ME...Forever. Forever! FOREVER!" It cackled madly, so gleeful about its genius, devious plan that it didn’t notice as some drops of liquid started to fall from the cave ceiling. As soon as it felt the little splashes of water on its head, it gasped and began to grumble. "What?! Acid rain? Oh, forget it! I'm out of here!" 

With an irritated sniff, the mad dummy turned and hopped away, muttering to itself angrily until it was out of sight. As soon as they couldn’t see or hear it any longer, Peter and Harry gave twin sighs of relief. 

"Nice guy," Peter said sarcastically. “Really stand-up fella.” 

“Yeah, definitely.” Harry snorted. “If I was his cousin, I’d be ashamed.” 

“Uh...hello?” 

The soft, hesitant voice drew the surprised Peter and Harry’s attention behind them. They found Napstablook floating a few feet away, looking at them with a mixture of embarrassment and hope.

“Napstablook?” Peter gasped. “Is that you?”

"Yeah...sorry," Napstablook said. "I interrupted you, didn't I? As soon as I came over, your friend immediately left. Oh no...you guys looked like you were having fun...oh no…” The ghost sniffled. “I just wanted to say hi..." Their eyes began to water, and Peter and Harry frantically shook their heads. 

"No, no, you've got it all wrong!” Harry assured them. “That guy was definitely  _ not  _ our friend.” 

But Napstablook wasn't paying attention. "Oh noooo..." they moaned. “It’s all my fault… I ruin everything…” 

“No, buddy, that’s not true,” Peter said, approaching them with a smile. “Trust me, we weren’t in the middle of anything important. We’re so glad to see you!”

Napstablook sniffled again and looked up at him.

“R...really?”

“Yeah!” Peter exclaimed. “Of course! It’s been a while! What are you doing here?”

“I...live here,” said Napstablook. “I just like to...um...go to the Ruins to...be by myself. It’s...less crowded than Waterfall.”

“Oooh, I gotcha, I gotcha.” Peter nodded with a grin. “Neat! I’m glad we ran into you. It’s nice to see friendly faces.”

Napstablook’s face colored for just a moment. "Thanks...I guess.” They turned back to the path they’d come before looking over their shoulder cautiously. “Well, I'm going to head home now… Oh...umm...feel free to ‘come with’ if you want...but no pressure...I understand if you're busy…” They began to float off. “It's fine...no worries...just thought I'd offer..."

“Are you kidding?” Harry asked excitedly. “That sounds great! After everything we’ve been through in the past hour, hanging with a friend’ll be a very welcome break. Right, Pete?”

“Absolutely! Lead the way, Napstablook.”

“Oh...really?” Napstablook looked surprised, as if they hadn’t even considered the fact that the boys might say yes. Looking up into their encouraging, smiling faces, the ghost finally showed a tiny smile of their own. “Okay, then...follow me.” 

And so, with the mad dummy no longer bothering them, Peter and Harry were free to follow Napstablook through more of the labyrinth of Waterfall. What Harry had said was certainly the truth; after an altercation like that, chilling with Napstablook sounded like exactly the thing they needed. 


	31. Ghost House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry pay a visit to their dear friend Napstablook, and partake in the truly one-of-a-kind experience of laying on the floor and feeling like garbage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm like ten minutes from midnight rn but Happy Father's Day anyway to all the dads out there!! Enjoy <33

Napstablook paused as they approached a forking path. 

"Hey...my house is up here...in case you want to see..." they murmured. "Or in case...you don't..." 

Peter wanted to reassure them that they had meant what they’d said, but the ghost was already flitting off again. They were moving pretty fast, too; faster than the boys had ever seen them move. Maybe they were too nervous to wait and hear Peter’s answer? Well, it would be a pleasure to show them that Peter and Harry were men of their word. Before following along, though, Peter took a moment to touch a yellow star that lay in the road. 

"You feel a calming tranquility. You're filled with determination," said the voice. 

“I mean, I guess,” Harry said with a slight shrug. “It’s more ‘tranquil’ over here with Napstablook than with that raving dummy. But I still don’t know what that’s supposed to  _ mean. _ ”

“Hey, at least it wasn’t anything ominous or creepy this time,” Peter pointed out. “Or about garbage.” Harry laughed.

“Yeah, that one was weird. I’d probably even say it’s my favorite just for the sheer strangeness.”

“Oh, you have favorites now?” Peter asked with a smirk.

“Just a little something to keep myself entertained. The one about the mouse and the crystal is a close second.”

By the time their mini conversation came to a close, they’d reached the end of the path they’d been following. Two nearly-identical houses stood side by side, mirroring one another in the way their top halves curved. The one on the left, which also curved to the left, was a pale blue. The one on the right, which curved, naturally, to the right, was more of a light orange. 

“Uhh...Harry? Did they say which one was  _ their  _ house?” Peter asked, glancing between the two buildings. Harry made a stricken  _ tsssh  _ noise with his teeth.

“Ah...no. No, I don’t think so.” 

“Crap.”

They stared at the houses for a while, silently debating in their heads for at least a minute. Eventually, Peter decided to use the most tried-and-true method of decision-making: eenie-meenie-minie-mo. It had never failed him before. Well, besides that one time with Gibbon… 

“Hang on, Har, I have an idea.”

Covering his eyes with his hand, Peter turned back and forth between the houses, muttering, “eenie, meenie, minie…” He stopped with his arm pointing toward the house on the left. “Mo.” Upon opening his eyes again, he let his arm drop to his side and nodded in affirmation. “Alright! Left it is, then.” Feeling bolstered by the foolproof nature of his selection, he confidently strode up to the door of the blue house and rapped on it once, firmly. Harry followed him, somewhat nervously murmuring, “I’m gonna be so embarrassed if this is just some random dude.”

Thankfully, after a few seconds of silence, Napstablook’s wary voice called, “...It’s open…” 

Harry let out the breath he’d been holding. “Oh, thank God.”

“See?” Peter grinned. “It always works.”

He led the way inside, and the two of them found Napstablook sitting in the far right corner of the room, staring at their computer with headphones on. 

"Hi, Napstablook,” Peter called cheerfully. “It took us a while, but we managed to find your house!”

Napstablook turned around in surprise at the sound of Peter’s voice, their dark eyes widening slightly. 

"Oh...you really came...sorry, I...wasn't expecting that,” they admitted. “It's not much, but make yourselves at home." They nodded around to the meager furnishings of the first floor.

"Hey, we told you we were coming!" Peter told them. “We wouldn’t back out of visiting a pal. Thanks again for inviting us, by the way -- you have a really nice place!” 

The faintest coloration appeared on the ghost’s cheeks, causing them to quickly turn sideways. “Oh...uh...thank you,” they said. “And...thanks. It’s not, really...but it is home.” They coughed, and then they suddenly straightened up. “Oh, pardon me...I guess I should put on some….ambience. Sorry...I’m a terrible host...” 

They floated over to a CD player on a long table across the room. Several moments later, a song consisting mostly of trombone notes and the occasional ghostly wail began to play softly from the speakers. 

“Ooh, music! Cool,” Peter enthused. 

“Hey, sweet! Harry agreed. “What’s this called? I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before.”Judging by the odd assortment of noises, Harry assumed it was probably a special type of ghost music. Damn, even the term ‘ghost music’ sounded cool. Then again, ‘ghost’ anything sounded pretty cool.

"Oh...it’s a classic spooktune…” Napstablook said, making their way back across the room to where the boys were standing. “They don't make songs like this anymore..." They sighed. 

_ Spooktune, huh?  _ thought Harry.  _ I wonder if they’d be weirded out if I asked for sheet music. _

Floating over to the fridge, Napstablook turned to look at the boys again. “Oh, are you hungry…?” they asked. “Let me get you something to eat. I almost forgot...I’m such a bad host. Sorry…”

“No, don’t be sorry!” Peter assured them, shaking his head quickly. “You’re doing great! I’d love something to eat, actually, if you don’t mind.” His stomach growled suddenly, loud and indignant, setting both himself and Harry laughing. “I think my body concurs,” he chuckled. Napstablook’s little smile briefly reappeared as they dipped their head and opened the fridge, producing a transparent sandwich from within. 

"It's a ghost sandwich,” they said, moving over to Peter. “Want to try it?" 

“Ghost sandwich? Oh, hell yeah!” 

Peter eagerly opened his mouth and tried to bite into the sandwich, but he only ended up phasing right through it, and his teeth clacked together in a bone-rattling noise. "Yow!" he exclaimed. 

"Oh...never mind..." Napstablook sighed. “I forgot...you aren’t a ghost. Sorry…”

“No, no, that’s all me,” Peter said with a sheepish laugh. “I didn’t even think of that possibility. I really wanted to see what a ghost sandwich tasted like, damn.” He mockingly shook his fist at himself. “Curse my dumb, corporeal mouth!”

Napstablook gave a single, barely-audible  _ heh.  _ “Don’t worry...you’ll be able to eat one, someday. You just have to...wait to die.” Quickly they added, “Not now, though...you shouldn’t die now. That would be...disappointing for everyone...I think.”

“Don’t worry, buddy, I’m not planning on it,” Peter said with a grin. 

“Oh...good. That’s good.”

Another short beat of silence passed as Peter and Harry continued to admire the small but quaint living space. As their friend had said, there wasn’t much occupying the room, but the way things were arranged gave it a pleasant homey feel. Not as homey as Toriel’s cottage, of course, but still comfortable. 

Napstablook fidgeted in place as they looked around. Hesitantly they spoke up again, raising their eyes to meet the boys’. 

"You know… After a great meal, I like to lie on the ground and feel like garbage...it's a family tradition…” They paused for just a moment before seemingly forcing themself to spit out the rest of the sentence. “Do you want...to join me?" 

Peter and Harry exchanged a relatively shocked glance.

“Wait, what- what do you mean, exactly?” Peter asked with a genuine note of puzzled concern. “Wh-Why would you wanna feel like garbage? You’re not garbage, Napstablook.”

Napstablook looked down at the floor.

“Oh...I mean...that’s nice of you to say, but...you don’t have to. Garbage is part of...me. Who I am...you know? Like I said...it’s a long-standing family tradition. Very...long-standing.” They turned away and hovered over to the center of the room before half-glancing back. “I understand if you don’t want to, though...it can be kind of off-putting to people who don’t usually...um...feel like garbage.” 

Hurriedly, both Peter and Harry shook their heads, and they stumbled over one another in their words.

“No, that’s not what-”

“I mean, we just didn’t want-”

“Of course we wanna-”

Finally they managed to sort themselves out, Harry nodding with slight exasperation to Peter to convey their mutual message. 

“What we mean to say is,” the spider-boy said pointedly, a kind smile taking the place of his former confusion, “we’d love to do that with you, Napstablook. We may not completely understand, but we support you wholeheartedly.” He laughed, now. “Besides, I sometimes do that too, honestly! Not as a tradition or anything, it just…just kinda happens.” 

Napstablook considered this. Then they said, “Well, alright...as long as you’re sure…”

“Absolutely!”

“Okay...follow my lead..." 

Napstablook laid down in the middle of the wooden plank floor. They stayed perfectly still, their eyes aimed up at the ceiling and their mouth resting in a thin, casual line. The boys were quick to do the same, Peter lying slightly to Napstablook’s left, and Harry a little bit to Peter’s left, creating a sort of loose triangular formation. 

The three lay like that, silent, unmoving, as the seconds ticked slowly by. At first, it was just a pleasant, if somewhat odd, experience -- lying on the cool floor side-by-side, faced with nothing but their thoughts for the first time in hours, was actually pretty calming. Maybe Napstablook was right. Maybe there was something to this after all. 

Then the visions started.

First, the ceiling above them faded from a dull off-white to what could only be described as the blue-black of space. They thought for a moment that maybe they’d fallen asleep there on the ground, but...no, their eyes were most definitely open. They blinked a couple times. Nope. Still there. And now it wasn’t just blue-black, but purple, too. Purple and red and gold and green, with little bright spots resembling stars dotting the vast expanse. Belatedly they realized that stars were exactly what they were; for reasons completely unknown and inexplicable, the galaxy had appeared on Napstablook’s ceiling.

“Whoaaaa.” The soft murmur came from both of them at the same time. Napstablook just let out a barely audible noise of contentment. Clearly they were used to the strange, magnificent sights manifesting themselves above them. 

After a few minutes (but what truly felt like an unquantifiable amount of time), the ghost levitated back upright and looked down at Peter and Harry, who were still sprawled out and staring in fixation at the ceiling. “Well, this was nice...thanks," Napstablook said. Their words shook the boys from the trance they’d fallen under. Peter shook his head groggily as he sat up, and beside him Harry mumbled something incoherent. 

“Whoa,” Peter said again as he forced himself to his feet. “That was...that was something. Does that always happen?”

A rare, faint smile turned up the corners of the ghost’s mouth.

“Yeah...it’s pretty cool, huh?”

“Is that what drugs feels like?” asked Harry, wobbling a bit as he stood. “I feel like that’s what drugs feels like.” 

“I think that’s what true tranquility feels like,” Peter corrected. “My meditation app has nothing on laying on the ground and feeling like garbage.”

“I’m...glad you enjoyed it.” Napstablook looked as pleased as they’d ever seen them. It made them glad to know they’d made their gloomy ghost friend happy.

"We’ll have to do it again sometime,” Peter said with a grin. “As long as you don’t mind, I mean.”

“No…” Napstablook’s face colored lightly again. “No...I wouldn’t mind.” It looked as if they wanted to say more, but they must have decided not to at the last second, because instead they said, “Oh...you should probably get going now...I don’t want you to waste any more time with me…” 

“Hey!” Peter exclaimed, bending down so he could look them in the eyes. “Time spent with friends is never wasted. Okay? Don’t think that way, buddy. We had a great time visiting.” Napstablook stood (er, floated) there looking from Peter, to Harry, to Peter again, their face having become unreadable. 

“Okay...well...thanks.” They nodded slightly, and Peter was pretty sure he saw another ghost ( _ heh, ghost _ ) of a smile.

Straightening back up, Peter gave Napstablook a little salute as he and Harry made for the door. He looked around once more before their exit, hoping to memorize all the details of the quaint little ghostly home. He’d decided sometime during the spacey, trippy ceiling visions that he should definitely write down an account of their wild adventure once they got home. He knew he’d want to remember all the things they’d experienced while Underground. Plus, it’d be a great read for anyone who might be interested! 

As the two of them left Napstablook’s house with cheerful calls of “Bye!” and “See you soon!”, a wave of rejuvenation flowed through them. Spending some quality time with Napstablook had certainly been exactly the short break they’d needed. Now, Peter felt, they would be able to continue on with renewed vigor. And hopefully steer  _ completely  _ clear of Undyne.


	32. The Prophecy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerson, an old turtle monster, entertains Peter and Harry by answering some of their questions and showing off his wares. He also explains the origins of the intriguing symbol that they've seen throughout the Underground: a prophecy nearly lost to time, about angels and the fate of all monsters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I was going to try and post this yesterday, but I held off until today because I really wanted to post something on my birthday! It just feels more special, haha ^^ This was a really fun chapter to write, so I hope y'all have fun reading it, too! <3

There was a hunched, elderly turtle sitting at a table by the side of the path. He was set up at the top of the juncture halfway between Napstablook’s house and...whatever lay down the other two roads. Peter noticed him as they approached from the left, and the wide array of odds and ends displayed on the old monster’s table immediately caught his eye. Drifting over with Harry in tow, he gave the turtle a friendly smile. “Hi, Mister!” he said. “Sorry to bother you, but would you mind if we take a look at your stuff real quick?” 

The turtle’s yellow eyes crinkled as he let out a hearty, distinctly old-person laugh.

"Well hey there, kiddos! I’m doin’ alright, thanks fer askin’!” He stretched a wrinkly hand across the table to Peter, saying, “The name’s Gerson! I don’ get many visitors out here, heh. What brings you two this way?" 

Peter shook Gerson’s hand firmly, but his expression faltered at the question. Thankfully it didn’t take him too long to recover, as he managed to stammer, "Oh, we're on our way to...uh...the Capitol! Yeah. The capitol city.” He folded his hands and grinned somewhat lopsidedly. The thought had actually just occurred to him that perhaps lying would have been better, maybe less suspicious, but he’d spit out the truth in his haste not to seem hesitant, so they’d have to deal with whatever came from that. 

_ I really gotta work on actually thinking before I speak. I should know better by now.  _

If Peter had been expecting Gerson to call them out on their human status immediately upon hearing their destination, he was pleasantly surprised - and relieved - when the turtle just laughed, slapping his hand down on his table of curiosities. 

"The Capitol, eh? Nice place! Very sleek, very modern. That’s where my old pal Asgore lives, you know!”

“Your  _ pal? _ ” Peter asked, voice rising as high as his eyebrows. His gaze darted over to Harry, who was already looking at him out the corner of his eye. His friend’s expression was equally jittery. Forcing his cadence back down to normal volume, Peter cleared his throat and tried his best to look nonchalant. “You...you’re talking about...the king? That Asgore?”

Gerson grinned with all seven of his teeth.

“Well, I don’ know of any other Asgore ‘round here, do you?”

“No, I, uh, I guess not.” Peter chuckled. He distinctly heard how nervous he sounded, and he hated it. 

_ So he knows Asgore,  _ he thought to himself.  _ So what? He seems friendly enough. Nothing to be worried about. Just be cool, be normal. Don’t act suspicious, and he won’t be suspicious.  _ Peter made a short, huffy horse noise with his lips in exasperation. Sometimes he exhausted himself.  _ You’re supposed to have a 250 iq. Act like it.  _

Peter pulled himself out of his scolding subconscious and smiled at Gerson again, a little less tense this time. “You really know the king, then?” he asked. If Gerson could give them any more information about Asgore, it would probably be a smart idea to listen. Besides, he really did seem like a genuinely affable guy; Peter found himself naturally drawn to the old monster. He looked and sounded like somebody’s war vet grandpa, a wry and humorous fellow with countless stories to tell. 

“Why, sure, sonny!” Gerson guffawed. “We were battle buddies back in the good ol’ days!” He held up his right arm and flexed, grunting slightly with the effort. The skin on his arm was green and wrinkly, just like the rest of him, and it sagged very slightly in the middle. “Yep! Me an’ him were quite the force to be reckoned with, I’ll tell ya’ that! King Asgore Dreemurr and the Hammer of Justice. There wasn’t a better team out there, not a one.” He thumped his chest with pride, then sat back in his little folding chair with a wheezy laugh. 

“Wow,” Harry said. Looking at Gerson here and now, it was a little hard for him to imagine the turtle monster being called the ‘Hammer of Justice’, but everyone got old some time. Even mighty heroes couldn’t stay young forever. 

For a brief moment, an image of his best friend, old and hunched over in his Spider-Man suit with tiny old-man glasses perched on the bridge of his masked nose, popped into Harry’s mind, and he had to quickly catch himself before he could burst out laughing. 

Peter nodded his head thoughtfully as he smiled again. “Wow,” he agreed. “Sounds like you guys were, like, superheroes or something.” His smile turned a little private and knowing. Gerson didn’t appear to notice the subtle shift or what it meant.

“Superheroes? I dunno ‘bout that,” he chuckled, “but we were the fiercest duo around. It’s just too bad that our glory days are behind us.” Now Gerson gave a little sigh and slumped lower in his chair. “Now, all me an’ King Fluffybuns get to do is have tea in his garden twice a week. It’s nice, I won’t say it ain’t, but it sure as heck ain’t the rush we used to have.” 

Peter and Harry shared a bewildered look. 

_ King ‘Fluffybuns’? _

Peter almost wanted to ask, but for whatever reason he opted against it. Instead he said sympathetically, “I’m sorry, Gerson.” Peter knew firsthand from Uncle Ben how frustratingly powerless old age made some people feel. Not being able to do the same things you once could would put a damper on anyone’s spirits. He could only imagine what it was like for an elderly  _ monster.  _ It would be like losing everything twice. 

Gerson waved a hand and sat up straighter again, making an  _ ach  _ noise in dismissal. “Ahh, it’s nothin’ to get too mopey about. Don’t pity me, sonny; I had more than a lifetime’s worth of adventure. Only problem is, I want another lifetime’s worth.” His eyes sparkled mischievously, and he winked at the boys. Then he spread his arms out over the table and gestured to the various items he had on display. “Enough about me! Sometimes I forget I’m just s’posed to be sellin’ junk, heh. Why don’t you boys take a gander at my wares, see if ya’ find anythin’ ya’ like?” 

“Oh, yeah!” Peter exclaimed eagerly, already eyeing several trinkets. “I think we will, thanks!” 

While Peter browsed Gerson’s treasures (well, okay, maybe  _ treasures  _ wasn’t exactly the right word, considering it was mainly old magnifying glasses, weathered and mismatched clothing, and random baking utensils, but whatever), Harry found himself scanning the general area that the old turtle had set himself up in. It was a little rocky alcove at the top of the path, and the wall behind him was dotted with the same sparkling crystals that were set in the ceiling.

Suddenly Harry found himself zeroing in a small burlap bag resting against one of the table’s legs. Probably Gerson’s bag for essential supplies, or carrying his wares from place to place. It wasn’t the bag itself that had caught Harry’s eye, though; rather, it was the emblem printed  _ on  _ the bag: two white, winged circles, and three little triangles below them. 

_ That’s the same symbol Toriel was wearing,  _ he realized with a small jolt. Looking back up at Gerson intently, Harry asked, “Hey, uh, Gerson? What’s that...what’s that symbol? On your bag?”

Gerson’s eyebrows rose in surprise. "Eh? You don't know what that is? What are they teaching you kids in school nowadays?" he chuckled. Harry and Peter smiled sheepishly. Yet another thing they probably should’ve known, if they were actually monsters. 

_ We really should’ve checked out that library in Snowdin,  _ Peter lamented silently,  _ maybe read a history book or something. This is embarrassing.  _

Luckily, Gerson didn’t appear to suspect them any more than the kindly rabbit shopkeep had. "That's the Delta Rune, the emblem of our kingdom,” he explained.” The Kingdom...of Monsters.” He grinned and slammed his hands on the table, making several of the items jump with the force of it. “Wahaha! Great name, huh? It's as I always say; Ol' King Fluffybuns can't name for beans!" Now Gerson leaned closer, giving them an almost conspiratorial look. "That emblem actually predates written history. The original meaning has been lost to time… All we know is that the triangles symbolize us monsters below, and the two winged circles above symbolize...somethin' else." 

The boys exchanged another glance. 

"’Something else’?" Peter echoed. 

Gerson nodded. "Most people say it's the 'angels' from the prophecy." 

"Prophecy? What prophecy?” Peter was all business now, his gaze intently focused on the kindly turtle monster. 

"Oh yeah...the prophecy.” Gerson chuckled. "Legend has it, two 'angels' who have seen the Surface will descend from above and bring us freedom. Lately, though, the people have been taking a bleaker outlook, callin' those winged circles the 'Angels of Death'. Harbingers of destruction, waitin' to 'free' us from this mortal realm."

The boys stiffened, their skin turning ashen. Slowly, Peter slid his eyes over to Harry, and Harry did the same. The immediate thought that had come into both of their heads at the description of the prophecy was  _ Is that thing talking about…us?  _

On the one hand, Peter thought it was highly unlikely. After all, human nature was to make connections, even where there were none. The prophecy, if it even had any actual merit, could just as easily be about two other humans, or two monsters, or two literal angels. That was the thing with prophecies: anything was possible. Peter didn’t usually like to put too much stock in them.

But on the other hand…it was almost  _ too  _ coincidental. Two ‘angels’, coming from the Surface, setting the monsters free? Peter and Harry weren’t angels, that much was obvious. Sure, they were out there doing as much good as they could when they were able, but they were a far cry from heavenly cherubim. But another thing with prophecies was that oftentimes, even though their wording  _ could  _ be literal, it usually wasn’t. And their set goal at the moment seemed pretty damn close to what the ancient text was describing. And...really, would it be so bad if they  _ were  _ the ones the prophecy spoke of? Being the fulfillers of such an important role would be pretty cool, there was no denying that. And if it was true, then that had to mean they would succeed in their bid to break the Barrier! Right? So all in all, being the subjects of the monster prophecy might be a big plus.

There was only one thing that was bothering him. 

Gerson had said that lately, some of the monsters had been interpreting the prophecy with a much darker spin. ‘Angels of Death’ and all that. Now, that didn’t necessarily mean that was the  _ right  _ interpretation, but just the fact that it could even be a possibility gave Peter pause. He and Harry couldn’t be the ‘angels’ spoken of in the prophecy if that was the case. They would never hurt anyone! Just the thought of it...of making the monsters suffer any more than they already had... it made him ill. 

Peter shook his head. No, that wasn’t right. Either the doom and gloom interpretation of the prophecy was flat-out wrong, or Peter and Harry weren’t the ones in the prophecy. Those were the only two possibilities. 

Deep in his heart, Peter willed for it to be the first one. He wanted more than anything to do something  _ good  _ for these people, the people his ancestors had betrayed so selfishly. If he and Harry really could bring an end to their subjugation, they’d do it in a heartbeat.

Gerson must have taken their silence for skepticism, or perhaps disinterest, as he laughed and shrugged. "In my opinion, when I see those little circles...I just think they look neat!" 

The boys were brought out of their mutual daze at the sound of Gerson’s chipper voice. Shaking his head and brushing some hair back from his face, Peter forced himself to compartmentalize his worries about the prophecy until a later date. “Well, it is a pretty cool symbol,” he agreed with an only slightly off-kilter smile. 

“Asgore likes it, too,” said Gerson, grinning. “He’s got it plastered all over everything! I mean, I s’pose that’s ‘cause he’s the king, and that’s the royal crest, but I figure he wouldn’t keep it if he didn’t like it ‘least a little, heheh.” Gerson cocked his head to the side suddenly. “Hey, you boys seen King Fluffybuns yet?” 

“Oh! Uh, not yet,” Peter said. He hoped the tiny waver in his voice wasn’t perceptible.

“Ah! I’m sure you will soon. He's a friendly, happy-go-lucky kind of guy. If you keep walking around long enough, you'll probably meet him. He loves to walk around and talk to people."

“He sounds like a nice guy,” Harry said politely.  _ I hope he’ll be as friendly to us as he usually is to everyone else.  _ Somehow, though, Harry sorely doubted that. 

“Heheh, yup! Ol’ Fluffybuns is ‘bout as nice as they come. Sometimes he’s almost  _ too  _ nice,” Gerson said with a smirk.

Hearing the king referred to once again as ‘Fluffybuns’ had piqued Peter’s interest enough that he couldn’t stand to stay quiet any longer. He  _ had  _ to know. "Hey, sorry if this is a weird question,” he said suddenly, “but how come you call him 'King Fluffybuns'? What’s up with that?" 

Gerson let out an uproarious laugh. "Eh? Why do I call Dreemurr 'Fluffybuns'?” he cackled. “Oh, that's a great story!" The turtle paused a moment, rubbing his bearded chin and narrowing his eyes. "I don't remember it.” Peter and Harry both gave a small, exasperated sigh. It looked like they wouldn’t have their curiosity sated after all. “But if you come back much later,” Gerson continued, seeing their disappointment, “I'm sure I'll have remembered by then." 

Peter perked up. “Really? Great! We’ll make sure to come by again some time.” By God, he was going to hear that story.

Right now, though, he was starting to feel like they should probably get a move-on. They’d determined before that staying in one place for too long usually spelled trouble, so as much as they were enjoying conversing with the amiable Gerson, it was probably time to move forward.

"Hey, Har, we’d probably better get going,” he murmured. “Otherwise we might run into Und- uh, you-know-who.” 

“Undyne?” Gerson piped up. “You boys talkin’ ‘bout Undyne?” 

Peter froze for a second. For an older monster, he had impeccable hearing. 

“Uhh, yeah,” he said, forcing a little laugh. “We, uh, we ran into her a while ago. She’s very...intimidating.” He hoped that that was a vague enough description. 

“Yeah, that’s Undyne alright,” Gerson said, grinnin. “She's a local hero around here. Through grit and determination alone, she fought her way to the top of the Royal Guard. She sure was a spitfire youngster.” Sucking on his lower lip in thought, Gerson added, “Actually, she just came through here, asking about people who looked just like you two. Didn’t say what for, though.” He studied Peter and Harry. “You two do somethin’ to rile her up?”

The boys began to stutter, stopping and starting sentences in their haste to come up with a viable story. Gerson immediately started laughing, waving it off and shaking his head. “Ahhhh, I’m just messin’ with ya’,” he reassured them. “Undyne’s real smart, but she’s got a wicked temper. It don’t surprise me that she mighta gotten sore over somethin’ minor. Still, I'd watch your backs, kids, just in case; she might sneak up and suplex ya’ if ya’ ain’t careful." He laughed again, blissfully unaware of the true cause for Undyne’s ire. It was probably better that way.

Peter and Harry swallowed the lumps in their throats and laughed nervously along with Gerson. Yeah, it was definitely time to get going.

"We’ll be careful, heh,” Peter promised as he turned toward the continuing path. “Thanks for all your help, Gerson. It was really nice talking to you." 

"Likewise!” Gerson gave a tip of his pith helmet. “Be careful out there, boys! And come back real soon, ya’ hear?" he called. The boys nodded with parting smiles, and Gerson waved as they set off once again. 

“Well,” Harry said quietly, once they were sure they were out of range of Gerson’s well-trained ears, “I guess that answers our question. She’s definitely still on our tails.” 

“Yeah,” Peter sighed. “I guess it was too much to hope that she’d think we were dead after that fall.” 

“Yeah…” 

Peter and Harry could have spent hours with Gerson, listening to his stories and perusing his intriguing items, but unfortunately, it just wasn’t possible. At least, not at the moment. And though it was hard to leave and continue a journey that held unknown dangers at every turn, they were cheered considerably by their promise to return to the elderly turtle later on. Then, maybe, they’d  _ finally  _ hear the origins of ‘King Fluffybuns’. 


	33. HOI!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Temmie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God this one was sUCH A BLAST

Another plaque was the first thing to greet them in the next corridor. Peter made his way over and, like second nature, began to read out the faded inscription.

_ "Hurt, beaten, and fearful for our lives, we surrendered to the humans. Seven of their greatest magicians sealed us underground with a magic spell. Anything can enter through the seal, but only beings with a powerful soul can leave. There is only one way to reverse this spell. If a huge power, equivalent to seven human souls, attacks the Barrier, it will be destroyed. But this cursed place has no entrances or exits. There is no way a human could come here. We will remain trapped down here forever." _

Well. It seemed that had turned out not to be so accurate after all. Peter and Harry had managed to accidental-their-way into the Underground, hadn’t they? That was good for the monsters; not so much for them. 

_ Hey, no. It’ll be fine. This’ll be a good thing for everyone, in the end. The monsters have been stuck here long enough. And if we can help with that, all the better. _

Just so long as they helped in their _ own _way, and not the king’s way. 

The next section of Waterfall was completely dark. Completely, that was, save for the softly glowing grasses, which almost appeared to grow in neat, obvious pathways through the pitch black room. 

“Guess we’d better pick our way along the grass,” said Peter. “Hopefully it’ll lead somewhere other than a dead end.” 

“I think there’s a good chance,” Harry said optimistically. “It looks pretty organized to me. I wonder if someone specifically planted the grass that way, so it’d help people get through.” If that was true, Harry and Peter would definitely owe a mental thank-you to whoever had planted it, because there was a high probability they’d be stumbling around blind without it. 

And so they started off with relatively high spirits. They’d been following the luminescent trail of grass for only a short time before, in true Underground fashion, something inexplicable but undeniably intriguing happened. This time, the surprise came in the form of a small, dog-like creature with white fur, black and gray hair, and a blue shirt striped with yellow barreling out of the darkness and straight toward their feet.

“_ Whoa!! _”

Peter instinctively jumped to the side, easily avoiding the speedy little creature. Harry wasn’t so lucky; the monster slammed right into his shins, making him cry out and wobble so much that he nearly lost his balance (but thankfully didn’t). By the time he’d righted himself and was able to look down and see what had collided with him, the creature itself was perfectly upright -- the impact hadn’t appeared to daze it at all.

“Hey, w-what gives?!” Harry yelped. 

“Watch where you’re going!” Peter admonished lightly. “You could’ve toppled us!”

“They almost did topple _ me, _” Harry grumbled.

The monster before them was staring up into their faces with wide, shiny eyes. The two sets of ears on its head (_ wait, two??) _were twitching to and fro, and their entire body was trembling in what seemed to be excitement. "Ashdkslfjdh!" it said excitedly. It didn't make any move to attack. 

The boys blinked. The little monster continued to stare at them and vibrate intensely, beaming from ear to ear -- or ‘ears’ to ‘ears’.

"I'm...sorry, what?" Peter asked hesitantly. “I, uh, I couldn’t understand you, buddy.” 

"HOI!!!” the monster exclaimed suddenly. Peter and Harry couldn’t stop themselves from flinching in surprise; the sheer volume of this creature’s voice was incredible. “I'm TEMMIE!" the monster continued, completely oblivious to their startled responses. How could such a huge voice come out of such a small monster??

Temmie, as they had introduced themself, began to excitedly run circles around Peter and Harry’s feet, whizzing by so fast that they had to stop trying to follow them with their eyes, lest they get dizzy. “Temmie!!! Temmie!!! My name is TEMMIE!!!” they chanted happily. Peter and Harry shared what was probably their hundredth bewildered look since they’d fallen into Mt. Ebott, Harry raising one eyebrow impressively high and Peter responding with a shrug of his shoulders.

_ What should we do? _ Harry’s face seemed to be asking. Peter’s expression replied with _ I’m not totally sure. _They seemed harmless enough, though. They definitely didn’t exude any sense of danger the way Undyne did. It probably wouldn’t hurt to make friends. They could always use more of those, especially down there.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Temmie," Peter said, smiling just a tiny bit confusedly. “You just gave us a bit of a scare, heh. We’re a little bit on edge right now.” He bent down and offered his hand to Temmie. “My name’s-”

Temmie suddenly jumped away, clearing an impressive distance with just that one leap. Considering their small size, it was almost comparative to Peter covering a city block. Definitely impressive. 

Startled yet again, Peter snapped back upright and asked, “W-Whoa, sorry! Did I do something wrong?!”

“Oops!! Sorry, hoomans!!” Temmie called from across the darkened room. Nothing about their tone indicated that they were upset. They could still see the monster’s smiling face, lit up both by the grasses around them and their own internal energy. “Tem have to go now!! Tem need go home!!” Temmie turned around, casting a glance over their shoulder. “But Tem see coot hoomans later though, yah?”

Whatever Peter and Harry’s responses were going to be died in their throats.

_ They...they know we’re humans? _

Peter was so surprised that all he could do was stare. Beside him, Harry seemed to be trying to recapture the words that he’d accidentally swallowed, but wasn’t having much luck. _ How did Temmie know they were humans? _ Toriel and Sans had seemed to know instantly that Peter and Harry were not native residents of the Underground, but the majority of monsters hadn’t even batted an eye at their presence. Even Papyrus had had to be gently informed by his brother before finally understanding.

Well, there was the fact that the dogs of the Royal Guard had also known… but that seemed par for the course. All of the Royal Guard was probably trained extensively in recognizing and capturing humans (unfortunately). Undyne likely made sure of that. 

Aside from those few, though, many of the people they’d met were completely oblivious to what a human looked like. So how did _ this _ monster, one who lived in what appeared to be one of the darkest and remotest corners of the Underground, know instantly what they were? And Temmie had said it so nonchalantly! As if the word ‘humans’ wasn’t considered a curse word in monster culture. 

Okay, it was an extremely woobified version of the word ‘humans’, but even so, it was undeniable what it was referring to. 

There was no malice in their voice when they said it, though. Unlike Undyne, the knowledge that the boys were humans didn’t appear to be dangerous in this monster's hands. Er, paws. As long as they didn’t go around shouting it for all to hear, they’d probably be fine! Yeah. Everything would be fine. 

Still, Peter thought it might be a good idea to make sure that Temmie had no intention of doing that, _ juuuust _in case. He took a slight step forward and said, “H-Hey, uh, Temmie? Not to be anal or anything, but, ah, could we maybe talk real quick? About the whole ‘hoomans’ thing?” He chuckled. It was not his best attempt at sounding unconcerned. 

Temmie gave a little shake of their hindquarters, like a cat about to pounce on a hapless toy mouse. “Tem already told you, Tem have to go!!” they exclaimed, looking over their shoulder one more time. “Come see Tem later! Be happy to talk to coot hoomans any time!! Yah, yah!!” 

Peter wilted slightly. “O-Oh, but wait! We don’t even know-”

But Temmie had already gone off like a shot, disappearing back into the darkness that they’d materialized out of. Pretty soon, all they could hear were the little monster’s pattering pawsteps and the soft rustling of the neon grass. Peter yelped in surprise again.

“Hey! W-Wait!!!”

He immediately took Harry’s arm and began to race off after Temmie as fast as he could possibly go (taking into consideration the speed of his friend, of course). 

“Pete!!” Harry said breathlessly, doing his best to keep stride with the significantly faster spider-boy. “Is...is this really necessary?! Aren’t we b-being kinda creepy by chasing after them?” He puffed and huffed a couple of times. He really _ had _to work on his endurance. The rich, sedentary lifestyle had its perks, but being athletic was definitely not one of them.

“I wanna talk to them,” Peter insisted, sparing a quick glance at Harry’s reddened face. “I wanna know how they knew!”

“Temmie doesn’t seem like the type to be malicious,” Harry protested. “I don’t think they’re gonna purposely say anyth-”

“Even if they’re not gonna let anything slip, I still wanna know. I’m curious. Aren’t you?”

“I’m winded,” Harry mumbled, the redness fading to a pale green. 

They kept moving quickly through the pitch blackness for a short while. The sounds from the receding Temmie had all but vanished, and Peter was worried that maybe they’d lost them for good. That was when he noticed a small, white tail just disappearing into a side room in the cavern. The luminous grass didn't grow down that way, so it would’ve been far too easy to miss if not for that tail. It was a good thing Peter’s eyes were what they were. 

For a moment, they were shrouded in absolute darkness, not even a single blade of grass to see by. Then… light. Sudden, intense, bright light that lit up that entire part of the cave. And in that part of the cave was-

"HOI!!” A chorus of cheerful, high, squeaky voices blared all at once, startling Peter into letting go of his friend’s arm and nearly pinwheeling backward. Harry’s jaw dropped of its own accord, and once Peter steadied himself his jaw did the same. They couldn’t help it. Out of everything they’d expected to find here, in the deepest part of Waterfall, this was NOT it. Not even close. 

“Welcom to...TEM VILLAGE!!" a (blessedly) single voice chirped this time. That voice came from one of four identical Temmies who were gathered by an old wooden sign with ‘TEM VILLAGE’ painted on it in bold, sloppy lettering. 

“Oh my God,” Peter murmured, staring down at the four beaming faces. “There’s more of them.”

“There’s a _ lot _ more of them,” Harry said, casting his eyes across the expanse of the ‘village’. The sight of so many carbon copies of the hyper, energetic monster known as Temmie, all gathered in one condensed area, was almost indescribable. The key word, of course, is _ almost; _Peter and Harry both managed to privately come up with their own descriptions. 

Peter’s was _ wow. _

Harry’s was _ holy shit. _

“Hoomans feeling okay??” The boys started and looked down again to find the previously chipper Temmies all wearing masks of slight confusion and concern. Immediately they felt somewhat embarrassed. It wasn’t polite to stare, and they’d been doing a whole lot of it. It was just a shock to come upon something so… so _ wild _so suddenly, that was all.

The last thing they wanted to do was be rude, so Peter slapped his cheek lightly to knock the surprise out of his head. He smiled apologetically as his face colored pink and said, “H-Hey! Um, sorry about that. My friend and I didn’t mean to be weird, hah. See, we just...we’ve never seen anything like your village, and it kinda threw us for a loop! Eheh.” He scratched at his neck. “Ah, it’s nice to meet you guys!”

Luckily, the group of Temmies (assuming that was what their particular species was called, and not just the specific name of the one they’d first encountered) went right back to sporting big, happy smiles as soon as Peter began to speak. 

"HOI!!” shouted the one closest to the boys. “It nice to meet YOU, hoomans!! I'm TEMMIE!” 

Temmie -- the one by the sign, not the original -- gestured to the one sitting beside them. “And dis is my friend...Temmie!!"

“You’re..._ both _named Temmie?” asked Harry, blinking. 

“Yah!!!!!” Temmie (the second one) said, vigorously bobbing their head. Their black hair flew around their face, strands going off in wildly varying directions. “Down here, EVERYBODY is Tem!!!” They nodded toward the third Temmie, who waved one paw excitedly, and said, “And dis is _ my _friend...Temmie!" 

"HOI!! I'm Temmie!” the third Temmie squealed. They eagerly spun around to face the fourth, spreading their paws as if introducing a stage act. “Don forget my friend..." 

"Let me guess. Temmie?" Peter asked with a chuckle. 

The last Temmie looked up at them and then replied in a very level, average voice, "Hi. I'm Bob." 

Peter and Harry almost choked. 

_ I was genuinely not expecting that. _

“...But...but I thought everybody here was Temmie,” Peter said. It was literally the only response he could come up with. 

The first Temmie giggled, and the second and third giggled with them. “Everyone _ is _Tem!!” they laughed. “Except Bob!!” They continued to chuckle and chortle and make lots of high, occasionally ear-piercing noises. All the two could really do was look at each other in mutual bewilderment and accept that, in this specific portion of the Underground, things were going to make even less sense than usual.

“O-Oh! Well...then it’s nice to meet you, too, Bob,” said Peter politely. Bob gave a slight nod in acknowledgement. The first Temmie stood up and padded closer to Peter and Harry, bringing one paw up to their mouth and stage whispering (if it could even still be called whispering), “Don’t mind Bob. Bob get weird sometimes!!” Bob, who had clearly heard their compatriot’s not-so-subtle remark, rolled their eyes. 

“Oh, n-no, it’s okay,” Peter assured them hurriedly. “They didn’t do anyth-”

“Oh!! OH!!!” the same Temmie suddenly shrieked, their face contorting into an even bigger grin. Peter silently worried that their muscles might freeze that way if they held it for too long. “Tem see more frens!!!! Tem introduce hoomans to frens!! Come on, follow Tem!!!” 

“Oh! Uh, right now?” Harry asked, but the Temmie was already bounding across the cave to a small throng of the monsters, yipping gleefully all the way. With no apparent choice but to follow -- a resident of the village was probably their best bet for navigating around it, after all -- the boys raced after their self-appointed guide. They kept looking at each other briefly as they tried to keep up, their wide eyes telegraphing everything from exasperation, to intrigue, to even the minutest exhilaration. It wasn’t that they were disgruntled by the Temmies and their cutesy, almost parodied way of talking -- they were just genuinely mystified. And, as previously mentioned, part of that mystification was excitement. After all, how could it _ not _be fun to spend some time in a place straight out of a technicolor cartoon?

At last, their leading Temmie skidded to a stop, nearly colliding with another one on the fringes of the larger group. Thankfully, there was not a repeat of what happened to Harry during their encounter with the original Temmie.

“Here! Here!!!” their Temmie squealed, clapping their paws. “This my _ beeeest _fren...TEMMIE!!” They tapped the other Temmie on the shoulder a couple of times, and when the monster turned around, they pointed to the sheepishly waving Peter and Harry. “Temmie!!! I wan you to meet my new frens!!”

This new Temmie’s dark eyes grew to the size of dinner plates, literally, as soon as they looked up at the humans. "_ Oooh!!” _they gushed, raising their paws to their face and squishing it. “Humans...such a...CUTE!!!" 

Peter couldn’t help but smile in surprise at the comment. He brought one hand up and fluffed out his hair, twisting the toe of his sneaker in the dirt. “Aww, shucks, you really think so?” Harry lightly smacked his arm. Peter stuck his tongue out. “Hey! If they’re right, they’re right.”

“Cute! Cute!! Cute!!” the Temmie babbled, running circles around their legs as the very first one had done. “Humans very cute!!” 

“Gosh, if they keep this up, I’m gonna get a complex,” Peter chuckled. Harry just rolled his eyes (secretly, though, he’d be hard-pressed to deny that he kind of liked it too -- who didn’t like being called cute?). 

Instead of outwardly admitting this, he dryly said, “I thought you wanted to ask them how they knew what we were. Why don’t you go ahead and do that now?” Peter pursed his lips.

“Hm. Eh, I guess you’re right.” He crossed his arms and added with a smirk. “But I think you’re just jealous that I’m cuter.”

“Yeah, okay.” Harry returned the smirk and gestured toward the Temmies. “Go ahead.”

“I’m going, I’m going.” Peter cleared his throat, hoping to catch either of the Temmies’ attention. The one that had decided to introduce them looked up briefly and twitched their topmost left ear, but before Peter could even begin to form the question, they’d whipped their head around to focus on something else.

“OH!!!” they exclaimed, jumping to their feet. “More frens!! Come see other frens, hoomans! Hurry, hurry!!” They began to bob and weave through the crowd, and Peter and Harry once again hurried to not lose sight of them. With such identical monsters in such close proximity, it would be way too easy to lose track of which Temmie was which. 

This time, their guide stopped next to a Temmie who was sitting hunched over, intently watching a hard-boiled egg. They cocked their heads as they looked at the Temmie, then studied the little white object. The egg didn’t appear to have any special qualities about it. It wasn’t colorful, or differently shaped, or anything, really. For all intents and purposes, it was just...an egg. 

“Hoi, Temmie!!” their cheerful leader chirped. “I wan to introduce you to my new frens!!! Dis is-”

"Shhhh!!!” The Temmie watching the egg put a paw to their lips and hushed their friend. “No time to talk now!! Tem...WATCH EGG!!" 

“We can see that,” said Peter, leaning a little closer to get a better look. “Would...would it be okay if I asked why?”

"Eg...wil HATCH!!!” the Temmie declared, their eyes still glued firmly to the object. “Tem...PROUD PARENT!" 

“Uhh, I’m not so sure about that,” Harry said, frowning slightly. “I think that’s a hard boiled egg. Those eggs don’t-”

“Well, good luck with that!!” Peter said suddenly, clapping a hand over Harry’s mouth and pulling him a few feet away. “We know you’ll make a great parent, Temmie! Just keep watching that egg!” 

The Temmie waved a paw in gratitude, still staring down at the egg. When they’d gone far enough away, Peter let go of his friend and sighed. “Whew. That was a close one.”

“What was that about?” Harry huffed. “I was just telling them the truth!”

Peter patted Harry’s shoulder and said, “I think it’s best if we let them have their dreams, pal. We’ve got nothing to gain by shattering them.”

Harry supposed he couldn’t argue with that. He shrugged. 

“Hoomans!!!” Both turned at the sound of their guide’s voice (Peter would much jlater realize how impressive it was that they’d been able to distinguish _ their _Temmie’s voice from all the other Temmies’ voices), and seconds later the Temmie came barreling over. “Hoomans, there you are!!” they yipped. Their eyes were wide and concerned. “Tem thought they lost you! Tem got so worried!!” They lowered both sets of ears and made a tiny whimper. Immediately the boys’ hearts sank upon seeing the sad, trembling feline-canine face. 

_ Oh, God, we made them sad!! _ Peter thought in a panic. _ How could we do this?! _

Peter and Harry quickly jumped to reassure them, explaining that they’d only stepped away to get some fresh air, since it was kind of hot in the middle of all those Temmies. Thankfully this satisfied their new friend, and Temmie was almost instantly back to their happy-go-lucky self. The two sighed quietly in relief.

_ Crisis averted. _

“Okey dokey!!” Temmie said, shimmying their body in barely contained enthusiasm. “Now we go see more frens!! Hoomans meet _ all _Temmie’s friends!!” 

“Alright, if you say so!” Peter replied. “Lead on, Temmie.” With an excited gasp, Temmie did just that, taking the humans over to a Temmie sitting alone in a corner of the room. They didn’t appear to be lonely, as there was a signature Temmie Smile (™) plastered on their face like all the others, but Peter couldn’t help but wonder why they were all by themself.

“Hoiiiii!!” their Temmie caroled, stopping a few feet from the other monster. “Tem!! Tem have new friends to show u!! They _ hoomans! _” 

The Temmie in the corner looked up with their ears pricked. "Ooh… humans??” they asked, voice filled with wonder. 

“Hi there!” Peter said, he and Harry giving them a smile and wave. “Nice to meet you!”

“Wow!!” the Temmie in the corner said. “You no mind being near Tem??” 

“Huh?” Harry tilted his head curiously. “No, why would we mind?”

“Tem heard humans allergics to Tem,” the Temmie explained. “Awful itchies!! Runny noses!! No good!!” 

The boys shared another look. 

“Wait, really??”

"Dat OK...Tem understan,” the Temmie continued. “Because Tem...ALSO allergic to Tem!!" All of a sudden, like some secret switch was flipped, little red spots began to appear all over their face. 

“Oh my God!” Harry yelped. “What the hell happened?! Are you okay?!”

"HOIVS!!" Corner Temmie yowled. As quickly as the conversation had started, it ended as the afflicted monster dashed off into the crowd, quickly becoming indistinguishable from the others save for their high-pitched whines. If they hadn’t been so fast to run, Peter would have advised them _ not _to head into the area filled with the things that would agitate their allergies even further, but hey, what could you do?

“Oh...gosh,” Peter murmured after a moment. “I hope they’ll be okay. Those hives looked nasty.”

“Yah,” their guide said, sighing. “Is curse for Tem to be allergic to Tem. Very sad.”

“I’ll say. Yikes.”

The three of them stood around awkwardly for a second or two. Luckily, Temmie wasn’t one to stew in awkwardness for very long, as they soon clapped their paws again and began to trot back the way they’d come. “Come on, hoomans!” they called. “Want you to see Tem Shop now!!” 

“Tem Shop?” Peter asked. 

“Yah yah!! Best shop!! Best deals!!” 

“We could probably use a few more supplies,” Harry suggested. “Maybe they have a flashlight or something. Might help in case that cool glowing grass doesn’t grow in the rest of Waterfall.”

“Good idea! I like the way you think, buddy.” To Temmie, Peter said, “Alrighty, take us to it!”

With a happy squeal, their friend bounced off across the cavern again, assumedly making a beeline straight for the Tem Shop. 

As they followed Temmie yet again, Peter happened to notice a peculiar, lone mushroom growing off to the side. None of the Temmies were paying any mind to it; most seemed to act like it wasn’t even there. 

“Hey, Harry,” he said, pausing and nodding toward the mushroom. “Do you see that?” Harry glanced down to where Peter was gesturing.

“The mushroom?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. What about it?”

“I dunno. It looks...interesting.” Peter walked closer to it and bent down to inspect the mushroom properly. If he hadn’t just taken a short tour through the wackiest village under the face of the Earth, he’d have probably been surprised to find that this mushroom had a face. “Oh, shoot!” he said. “Hi there, fella. Sorry, I hope I didn’t disturb you; I just wanted to come and take a closer look. Is that okay?”

The mushroom tilted its blue cap up to reveal that the little black dots that Peter had assumed were its eyes were not, in fact, its eyes -- its _ actual _eyes were huge, blue, and wide open. And they were boring into Peter so intensely that he was sure the thing must be staring at his soul.

“U-Uh...hi?” he tried again, taken aback. “I didn’t realize those were...I mean, you…” He trailed off and swallowed lightly. Harry, who’d been watching from a distance, walked over and shook his head.

“Pete, why are you talking to- _ oh my God. _”

The mushroom flicked its eyes from Peter to Harry and back again, and then it began to chant. "_ Mushroom dance, mushroom dance. Whatever could it mean? _" 

Harry looked at Peter. Peter looked at Harry. Harry opened his mouth to say something, but the mushroom answered its query for itself. "It symbolizes my inner torment, trapped here by my hyphae,” it said in a deep voice that absolutely did not fit with its appearance. “My struggle to pull away. My struggle to escape. But alas, to no avail. And even if the Barrier were to break, _ how would I leave? _ " There was more after that, the mushroom going on and on like a slam poet at an open mic night, but the boys weren’t listening anymore. They were backing slowly, _ very _slowly away, so as to not aggravate the philosophical fungus. It was probably better to let it be.

As luck would have it, they ended up backing right into their Temmie, who’d stopped to sit outside the entrance to the shop, most likely waiting for them. 

“Oh!!” Temmie said cheerfully. “There you are!! Tem knew you’d come!” 

“Ahh!! Oh, it’s you, Temmie.” Peter sighed gratefully. “I thought you might be a mushroom.” 

Temmie tilted their head and giggled. “Mushroom?? Silly hooman!! Tem not mushroom! Tem is Tem!!”

“And thank God for that,” murmured Harry. 

“Come, come!! Tem Shop time!!” Temmie stood up and leapt into the little opening off the main cave room, something Peter and Harry hadn’t noticed on their initial scan of the village. Though they had to duck just a bit to fit inside the entrance, they were able to make it into the shop just in time to see their Temmie practically diving behind the counter on the other side of the very small space. Moments later they popped up again, placing their paws neatly on the counter and smiling big and wide.

“Temmie?” Peter asked, somewhat confused. “What’re you doing?”

"HOI! Welcom to...da TEM SHOP!!" Temmie said proudly, waving one arm around to indicate the whole of the room. It only took a few seconds for it to click.

“_ Oooooh, _ ” Peter said in understanding. “This is _ your _shop!” 

Temmie nodded violently, both sets of ears flopping about in their excitement. “Yah, yah!!! This Tem’s shop! The TEM SHOP!!!!” they giggled. “You buy!! Yes? Hooman friends buy goods so Temmie go school!!”

Harry and Peter blinked a couple of times. “Wait, school?” Harry inquired. “What do you mean?” 

“Tem is needing muney for coleg!!” Temmie said earnestly, leaning across the counter a little. “Tem want to pursue higher education!" They gave a small sigh and lowered their head. "But Tem no have muney. Tem not able to go to coleg." Their top ears flattened, and another whimpering noise escaped them. It was a very sad image.

Peter and Harry looked at each other questioningly. This wasn’t the first they’d heard of school in the Underground, but for some reason they hadn’t considered the fact that there would be colleges, too. 

_ I wonder what a monster college is like, _ Peter mused. _ If they’re anything like Surface schools, it’s no wonder Temmie needs to save up. Those things are exorbitant. _

“Oh!! Well, we’d love to help out,” Peter told them. “Can we see what you’ve got for sale?”

Temmie perked back up, grinning happily at the mention of their wares. 

“Yah!!! Tem show you!!” They disappeared behind the counter for a minute, then reappeared with several small, colorful canisters that looked a lot like fish food. Temmie pushed them forward with both paws and raised an eyebrow, quirking their mouth up in a pleased way that said _ Pretty good stuff, huh? _

“Uhh...what’s this?” Harry asked, picking up one of the canisters and examining it. 

“Those TEM FLAKES!!” Temmie exclaimed. “Yummiest food in Underground!! Yummiest food _ ever!!! _You want, yah??” 

Harry opened the lid and sniffed the contents experimentally. The smell was...not pleasant. It wasn’t _ bad, _exactly; it just smelled pretty much exactly how one would expect a canister of fish food to smell. Like fish food. This probably wasn’t fish food, but as far as the boys could tell, it would taste the same, and they weren’t very interested in snacking on fish flakes.

“Ahh, I think we’ll pass,” said Harry apologetically, sealing the canister and placing it back on the counter. “Sorry, Temmie.”

Their friend’s smile dropped about 20%. It wasn’t a super noticeable change, but the perceptive Peter and Harry picked up on it right away, and a huge wave of guilt came crashing over them without warning. Oh, God, how could they say no to that face?? All Temmie wanted to do was go to college, dammit! Who were they to deny them that opportunity? But it really wouldn’t behoove them to carry around potentially hundreds of glorified fish food containers… 

“Oh...that okay. No worries. Tem understand…” Temmie’s lower lip trembled, and another spear of guilt pierced their hearts. They’d really done it now. A Temmie might cry, and it was all their fault. “Not everyone like Temmie flakes!” Temmie continued, beginning to slowly put away their items. They were still trying to sound upbeat, but it was clear they were masking their disappointment. “Tem just wait a little while longer…”

As they stood there, looking sadly upon the melancholic Temmie, Harry suddenly had an idea. A wild, crazy, absolutely stupid idea. A perfect idea.

"You know what?” he said confidently. “Actually, I think there’s a way we can help you out after all, Temmie.” 

Both Peter and Temmie looked to Harry in blatant surprise.

“There is??” Temmie asked.

“There is??” Peter asked.

"Yeah.” Harry reached into his left pocket and pulled out his wallet. Even from a quick glance, one could easily see that it was full of cash. “Temmie, why don't I just...pay for college for you?" 

Temmie's eyes widened to an impossibly large size. It almost looked painful to the boys.

"_ What?!!?! _ You do that for Tem?" they gasped. 

“Whoa, my DUDE!” Peter laughed, slapping Harry on the back. “My GUY! Harry Osborn coming to the rescue with the fat stacks!!” 

“So much for being a spoiled rich kid, huh?” Harry asked with a slight proud smile. “Dad’d have a fit if he knew I was doing this, but I just can’t seem to care.” He thumbed through a few of the bills in his wallet, then handed them over to the wildly vibrating Temmie. They could barely hold it in their paws, they were shaking so much.

“OOOH!” they gushed, looking up at Harry with the most grateful expression he’d ever seen. “_ Thank u, _ hooman!!! Tem never forget this!!" 

“You deserve it, Temmie,” Harry said fondly. “Make us proud, okay?”

"Yes!! Oh, yes!! Tem finaly go to coleg!!" they cheered. "Tem be right back!" 

The two boys jolted. 

“Wait, what-?”

But Temmie was already lunging past them, racing for the door and disappearing from sight. Peter and Harry turned to stare at the entrance, the silence in the shop almost deafening compared to Temmie’s hyper-loud voice. 

“We...we didn’t even get to say goodbye,” Harry said quietly. 

To the joy and absolute stupefaction of the boys, though, it turned out that they didn’t have to say goodbye -- moments later, Temmie returned to the shop with a diploma in their teeth and a graduation cap perched on their head. 

To say their mouths were gaping was an understatement. 

“_ Temmie??” _Peter and Harry asked in unison. Temmie trotted behind the counter and set their diploma on top of it. Their smile was as wide as ever, possibly even moreso. The happiness radiating off of them was enough to ease the shock of what’d just happened.

"Tem finish coleg!" Temmie said cheerfully. "All thanks to hooman!!” They nodded appreciatively at Harry. Harry rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly. “Anytime you need somthing, come to Tem! Okay? No being strangers!!" 

Finding his voice again, Harry replied, “That’s amazing, Temmie! We’re so, so proud of you. Congratulations.” He didn’t know how in the great wide world they’d managed to complete a four-year college degree in under fifteen seconds, but damn it, there was no denying that it was incredibly impressive. “And we appreciate it, really.” He turned to Peter and jerked his thumb at the entrance of the shop. “Well, I think our business is done here, Pete. Ready to hit the road again?” 

“Yup! Sounds good to me.” Peter looked to Temmie and gave them a smile and a wave. “Thanks for showing us around your village, Temmie. We had a blast." It was the absolute truth; despite all the confusion, the sheer fun wackiness of this experience was the prevailing feeling they were left with. It was unlikely they’d be forgetting this for a long, long time.

“Of course!!” Temmie giggled. “Tem see you ‘round! Byyyye, coot hoomans!!” They waved their paw as Peter and Harry made their way out of the Tem Shop, then further through the hidden entrance of Temmie Village. Stepping out of the bright, colorful town and into the darkness of Waterfall made it feel almost as if they were coming out of a daze. They had to shake their heads a few times and squint in order to adjust to the change in lighting. 

“Whew,” Harry chuckled. “I think Temmie Village was probably my favorite unplanned stop on this whole thing.” 

“You know, I feel the same way,” Peter agreed with a grin (not that Harry could see it very well in the darkness). “And it was a really great thing you did back there, pal. For Temmie, I mean.”

Harry waved a hand. “Psh. It was the right thing to do. If I wasn’t gonna do it, who was?”

“Mr. Osborn, I think your good will is showing.” Peter laughed and elbowed his friend, and Harry made a mock-mortified gasp.

“You’d better not tell my father. He’d be furious.”

They continued joking and laughing as they found their way back to the luminescent trail of grass, putting themselves back on the path to the Capitol once more. And although they were leaving Temmie Village behind, the cheerful mood it had instilled in them stayed for quite a while.


	34. Best Frenemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yet another close call with Undyne leads Peter and Harry to have a very difficult conversation with Monster Kid. Luckily, all three of them decide that being friends is much better than being enemies just because someone said that's how it has to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After just a few more chapters, we'll be at the halfway mark of this sotry!! That's so wild, I almost can't believe it! :D
> 
> (By the way, huge shoutout to all of you who leave comments every now and then -- reading them makes my entire day every single time :) And another huge shoutout to everyone reading this consistently, even if you don't comment; I see you and I super appreciate you!!)

Peter and Harry didn’t encounter any other monsters for quite a while. It seemed that ever since they’d left the village, the path had been pretty much desolate and devoid of any life, aside from the grass at their feet. It was nice, in a way, but it was also just the slightest bit eerie; meeting the various monsters interspersed across the Underground was definitely a highlight of their journey so far. 

Alright, well, meeting the _ nice _monsters was a highlight. And they both felt very fortunate that about 95% of the monsters they’d met were very kind, if enigmatic, people. Aside from Undyne, most everyone had either been friendly right off the bat or warmed up to them in time. The conversations and often-confusing hijinks were something Peter and Harry had both begun to look forward to since way back in Snowdin Town. Now, with such a long stretch of silence, save only for their own voices and footsteps, it almost felt like something was…missing. . 

They soon passed through a long, quiet room lit only by purple crystals and blue lanterns hanging on the walls. This room, at least, felt more tranquil than the vast stretch of silent darkness they’d trekked through just before. The unique lighting gave it a special sort of calming ambience.

“Wow,” Peter said quietly with a small smile, glancing around the space in appreciation. “This is pretty cool.”

“Reminds me of mood lighting you’d see at a prom,” Harry said, chuckling lightly. “Except not as obnoxiously blatant.”

Peter began to laugh as well, agreeing, “Heh, yeah. Like a ‘Night Under the Stars’ kinda thing.” 

Near the end of the corridor, they had to pass through another small expanse of water. Rather than just wade through or swing across like the previous few times, Peter decided that the ceiling was high enough that he could jump them both across without bashing their heads. They landed safely on the other side and readied themselves to continue on, and that was then they noticed a single, lone echo flower near another patch of tall grass, idly swaying in some unknown wind just a few feet from the water.

“Hey, look,” Peter said, pressing his hands together in excitement. “Another echo flower!! C’mon, let’s go see what it says.”

The boys approached it at a leisurely pace. As they headed toward it, though, the room suddenly, strangely seemed to grow darker and darker. One moment, the light of the lanterns and crystals was enough for them to comfortably see by; the next, they were almost having to squint through the dimness. The change in lighting initiated an unconscious but _ very _noticeable drop in their stomachs, and a cold sweat broke out on the backs of their necks. Neither one said anything, but they both felt the oppressive and palpable change in atmosphere. The calm, tranquil mood was gone.

Harry wanted to whisper, to hear his friend tell him that he was just imagining things and that everything was fine, but he couldn’t bring himself to break the silence. He didn’t dare. It felt as if all they could do was continue slowly, slowly approaching the flower, with the sense of danger heightening with each step they took.

When at last they reached the faintly lit flora, Peter reached a slightly shaking hand out to its petals. The plant only uttered two words: "_ Behind you _." 

_ Oh, dear God. _

Turning around to face whatever had spoken those tiny, threatening words was the very last thing Peter and Harry wanted to do. Their legs nearly refused to let them, suddenly turning to lead and doing their best to stick themselves to the spot. Despite this, though, there really was only one choice; whether they turned or they didn’t, whatever was behind them would do what it came to do, and neither one wanted to get stabbed in the back. So they turned around--

And came face to face with the tall, imposing figure of Undyne. Of course, it only could have been Undyne. The knight in shining armor, here to slaughter them mercilessly and rescue her kingdom. With her quiet, confident stance, her head held high, she very well could have been a fairytale savior, but they were not the ones she was here to save.

“Undyne.” Peter’s voice was hoarse, a mere shell of its usual self as he forced it from its hiding place in his chest. “Please. P...Please, will you listen to us?”

At first, Undyne didn't say anything as she slowly advanced further toward them. Again Peter pleaded, “We...w-we want to help. Help you all. If we can just- just get home, we can figure out a way to-” He swallowed. The immense stress had wicked away all the moisture in his mouth. “-to get you home, too.” He focused his eyes on Undyne’s yellow ones as best he could through the slits in her helmet, looking for any shred of compassion, of mercy. He found none. 

Undyne stopped when she was a paltry six feet away. She stared down the human boys who had both fallen silent again, Peter still staring earnestly into her face, Harry trembling so hard that he was certain he’d end up in a heap before she even speared them. Then, for the first time, they heard her speak.

"Seven. Seven human souls," she uttered. Her voice was simultaneously everything and nothing they had expected it to be. It was deep, although nowhere near as deep as Sans’s, and there was a unique, almost guttural quality to it. It was powerful, too, despite the relatively level volume she spoke with. "With the power of seven human souls, our king...King Asgore Dreemurr...will become a god. With that power, Asgore can finally shatter the Barrier. He will finally take the Surface back from humanity...and give them back the suffering and pain that we have endured." She squared her shoulders and took another single step closer. Peter and Harry stumbled back, bumping up against the echo flower, which once again repeated _ “Behind you.” _It might have been funny in a twisted, ironic way if they weren’t completely numb.

When they didn’t say anything, Undyne spoke again. "Understand, humans?" she asked gruffly. "This is your only chance at redemption. Give up your souls...or I'll tear them from your bodies." 

_ Say something, _ Peter urged himself, _ you have to SAY something. Don’t give up now. _

“Undyne,” he tried again, and he internally cringed at the pitiful desperation in his tone. “It doesn’t...have to be this way. We c-could...work together...if you just let us talk to you.”

Though they couldn’t see her face beneath the intimidating helmet, they could absolutely hear the sneer in her voice as she said, “The time for talking is _ over. _ ” The woman slid her feet apart in what Peter immediately recognized as a fighting stance, and one of her energy spears materialized in her hands. This was it. Now, it really, _ really _was the end. Cornered, backed against the wall with nowhere to run, they were truly as good as dead. And they’d never know how close they’d been.

“_ Please… _” Peter mumbled in one last ditch attempt.

Undyne didn’t say a word, just leveled her spear and began to charge. Peter and Harry closed their eyes and waited. And then, instead of the awful, squelchy, bloody sound of a spear piercing flesh, the sound of a cheerful little voice rang out instead.

"UNDYNE!!! I'll help you fight!" 

The tension broke like a water balloon. Peter and Harry’s eyes popped open in unadulterated shock, Undyne screeched to a halt, and Monster Kid’s smiling face looked back and forth between the three of them. 

“_ Monster Kid?” _ Peter and Harry gasped, gaping down at the happy yellow monster. What were the _ odds _? Peter thought to himself that if they actually did make it home, they would have to buy a lottery ticket immediately. 

Monster Kid’s smile grew into a great big grin as they wiggled in place excitedly. "YO!!! You _ did _it!!!" they cheered. "Undyne is RIGHT in front of you!! You've got front row seats to her fight!" They looked back and forth a couple more times, their grin slowly turning into a confused little slant. "...Wait. Who's she fighting??" they asked with genuine confusion. Peter and Harry’s eyes darted to one another.

“Uhhhhhh…” 

Undyne heaved an annoyed sigh. It was the most human emotion (monster emotion?) they’d heard or seen from her for the entirety that they’d known of her; it was incredibly strange, in a way. She leaned down and grabbed the monster kid gently by the ear, and then she began to drag them off, muttering, “You and I need to have a _ serious _talk, kid.” 

"H-Hey!" Monster Kid complained, twisting a little in the woman’s strong grip. "What’s going on?? You aren't gonna tell my parents about this, are you?"

The two monsters disappeared from sight several moments later, and soon even Monster Kid’s whining was inaudible. 

It took a good thirty seconds for their hearts to slow down to a somewhat normal rhythm. It took thirty _ more _seconds for them to uproot their feet from the floor, and twenty seconds after that for Harry’s hands to stop shaking. They both took a few good, deep breaths, and after two full minutes had gone by, Peter and Harry were finally able to move and speak regularly.

“Peter,” Harry said. “Peter. If they hadn’t been in that grass-”

“I know,” Peter interrupted him, putting a hand on his arm. “Let’s not think about it, okay? We’re fine. By some grace of God, or the universe, or _ something, _we’re not dead, and we should definitely aim to keep it that way.” He began to walk back the way they’d come down that particular path, urgently motioning for Harry to follow. “C’mon, we can’t stay here for too long. She’s definitely gonna come back, and we need to be long gone when she does.”

Harry wiped some lingering wetness from his eyes and nodded. “Right. R-Right. Let’s go.”

They hurriedly retraced their steps until they found another branching path that would (hopefully) not lead to a dead end. Their minds and bodies were still reeling from such a close encounter with Undyne, but the necessity of survival kept their legs moving. 

A plethora of echo flowers, more than they’d seen in one place in quite a while, dotted the path and kept it illuminated with their collective glow. Although they knew they had to put as much distance between themselves and Undyne as possible, their curiosity led them to listen to each flower’s words as they passed them by. It only took several seconds, at least. 

To their surprise, it appeared as if this particular set of flowers was continuing the conversation between two monsters that they’d heard way back near the beginning of Waterfall. 

_ "Hmm...if I say my wish...you promise you won't laugh at me?" _ one said.

Another flower said,_ "Of course I won't laugh!" _

“It’s them,” Peter said, a small smile forming on his face. “The two we heard before.” 

Harry nodded, a half-smile of his own appearing. “Yeah. They must have walked all the way through Waterfall.”

It was nice to hear their voices again, almost like running into an old friend after months and months. Silly as it may have been, it brought a small amount of comfort to the boys as they trekked through the dark.

The third flower said, _ "Someday, I'd like to climb this mountain we're all buried under. Standing under the sky, looking at the world all around...that's my wish." _

Some laughter burbled out of the fourth flower, followed by an indignant, _ "Hey, you said you wouldn't laugh at it!" _

The voice in the last flower sounded very fond. _ "Sorry, it's just funny...that's my wish, too." _

There was a sense of finality to that last sentence. Both Peter and Harry felt that their time with the unknown monsters had come to an end, a fact that was slightly saddening. They were going to miss listening to the snippets of a long-ago conversation.

“I can’t stand it,” Harry said sullenly. Peter looked at him and tilted his head.

“Can’t stand what?”

“The monsters, being trapped under here. Being trapped for so long.” Harry shook his head in disgust and balled his fists at his side. “Listening to those two…it just makes me angrier at this whole situation.” He looked at Peter desperately. “I mean...God, Pete, who knows how long ago they walked through here? Who knows if they’re even still _ alive? _ They might never get to see the sky.” His voice hitched near the end of his sentence, and he brushed his hair back. Peter quietly nodded and came closer to his friend.

“I know what you mean,” he said. “I feel the same way.” The thought of those two monsters wishing so, so fervently just to see the sky, the world, the real stars, and never being able to have that wish come true… It shattered him inside. “But, hey,” he said, and Harry looked at him again. Peter smiled confidently. “That’s why we’re gonna get them out of here. Whatever it takes, however long it takes...the monsters _ will _get to see the sky.” 

Harry dipped his head after a long moment. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah. Even if we can’t help those who are already gone, we can still do it for the ones who are here now.”

“Exactly.” Peter gave Harry a firm pat on the shoulder. “Come on, pal. I feel like we’ve gotta be close to the end of Waterfall by now.”

He and Harry continued to walk, Harry murmuring, “I sure hope so. It feels like we’ve been in here forever.”

Near the end of the corridor, there was a single plaque on the wall. Just like the echo flowers, the boys got the feeling that this was the final piece of the story that the ancient inscriptions had been telling. Harry gave Peter a nod, and Peter went over to read it. 

_ "However...there is a prophecy. The Angels...The Ones Who Have Seen the Surface...They will return. And the Underground will go empty." _

“Just like Gerson said,” said Peter quietly, thoughtfully. “I really do wonder…” 

His unfinished statement hung in the air, both unwilling to unpack it at this time. Instead, they emerged from the corridor into another, longer, open room with a long bridge spanning the entire length. They could see to the other side, but they _ couldn’t _see to the bottom of the chasm that the bridge crossed. 

“Oh, great, another bridge,” Harry complained. “Because we have such _ great _track records with them.”

“Don’t worry, Harry, it’ll be quick,” Peter said, trying to stay upbeat. “And this one looks a lot sturdier than some of the others.”

They began to cross as carefully and quickly as possible, making pretty decent time. When they’d just passed the middle of the bridge, they heard someone call, "Yo!" Instantly knowing who’d said it, the boys turned around with matching smiles to see Monster Kid hurrying across after them. There was no one they were happier to see.

“Hey, it's you!" Peter exclaimed, laughing happily. "Monster Kid! Listen, thanks a lot for the save back there. Without you, I just know we would’ve been shishkebabed." 

He and Harry continued to smile brightly as their friend approached, but they soon became worried as they saw that Monster Kid wasn't smiling. In fact, they mainly looked confused and unsure as they slowly walked toward them. 

“Hey, is something wrong?” Peter asked with concern. 

Monster Kid shifted from foot to foot, their head slightly lowered. It was so unlike what they were used to from the little monster that the two began to fear something terrible had happened. 

“Monster Kid,” Harry said seriously, “what happened? Are you okay?”

They bit their bottom lip and raised their eyes to meet Peter and Harry’s. "Yo, I know I'm not supposed to be here, but...I wanna ask you something," they said. The boys glanced at one another. They still had no idea what was going on. 

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"Man, I've never had to ask anyone this before..." They hemmed and hawed for a while before finally shaking their head and spitting it out. "Um...yo...you guys are human, right?" 

Ah. So that was it. The jig was finally up.

_ I just hope this doesn’t mean they hate us, now, _Peter thought desperately. He wasn’t sure he could bear having Monster Kid -- this bubbly, happy-go-lucky little monster with such boundless energy -- look at them with scorn. Part of him wanted to deny it, to tell them that that was just a nasty rumor, but looking at their melancholy face, he knew he couldn’t do it. Lying to friends was never the right choice. He’d nearly kept his most important secret from Harry out of fear that he’d get hurt, but in the end, it was absolutely for the best that he’d come clean when he did. If he’d waited any longer, who knew what would've happened? Their entire eight years of friendship could’ve imploded, just like that. All because of a secret. 

No, friends had to trust friends with the truth. Even if it hurt.

Taking a deep breath, Peter lowered his head and gave a single nod. “I...yeah. Yeah, that’s right.”

"Man! I knew it!" Monster Kid exclaimed, then paused. "Well...I know it now, I mean. Undyne told me, um, 'Stay away from those humans!' So, like, ummm..." They seemed extremely uncomfortable. "I guess that makes us, uh, enemies or something." 

The boys’ faces fell. This was exactly what they’d been afraid of.

“What? N-No! Monster Kid, please,” Peter said, clasping his hands. “We’re sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. We just...we didn’t know how you’d take it. But that doesn’t make it right, I know. Please...please. We can still be friends, can’t we?” 

"I dunno,” Monster Kid said doubtfully. “I...I want to…but Undyne said I can’t, and I can’t go against Undyne. She’s...she’s my hero.” They kicked a loose pebble off the bridge and into the depths below. “But I kinda stink at hating people, haha.” They looked back up at Peter and Harry. “Yo, say something mean so I can hate you? Please?" Monster Kid looked imploringly at them, their eyes so earnest that it made it impossible to say no. Neither of them wanted to do or say anything to hurt someone who’d been such a kind, loyal friend, but forcing them to act so out of character would be just as cruel, if not moreso. It was going to hurt, but it was up to them to help Monster Kid by taking the initiative to distance themselves. Still, they weren’t going to say something genuinely rude; they just couldn’t bring themselves to.

"Uh...yellow is a stupid color," Peter said half-heartedly. 

“Yeah, it’s...lame,” Harry added. 

Monster Kid cocked their head to the side. "Yo, that's your idea of something mean?” they asked. “My sister says that to me ALL THE TIME!” They actually chuckled a bit. “Oh, well. Guess I have to do it, haha." They thought for a moment, then took a step forward and hesitantly said,"Yo, I...I hate your guts." 

Even such a tiny insult stung a little bit, coming from someone they cared about. Not because they thought Monster Kid meant it; it was just sad, that was all. It was deeply upsetting that they were going to lose a friend because of who they were, and where they were. But that was how life was sometimes, they supposed. Sometimes, things just didn’t work out, even if you really wanted them to.

“It’s okay, Monster Kid,” Peter said quietly, offering an only slightly pained smile. “We understand. It was really great being your friend, while we could.” Harry gave an affirming nod.

“We’d be dead without you,” he said. “So, again, thanks. For everything.” 

Monster Kid’s shoulders sagged, and their entire body seemed to wilt in sadness and shame. "Man, I...I'm such a turd,” they murmured. “I'm...I'm gonna go home now." Slowly and ploddingly, they turned and began walking back across the bridge, back hunched. The boys watched them go with sad eyes, but knew there was nothing they could do. If it meant Monster Kid would stay out of trouble and off Undyne’s radar, it was worth the heartache.

“C’mon, Har,” Peter sighed, turning as well. “We’d better keep going.”

“Yeah…”

Harry cast one more glance at the retreating Monster Kid, then turned to follow his friend. They hadn’t gone more than a few feet when they heard a sudden, piercing scream.

"YO, W-W-WAIT!! HELP! I TRIPPED!”

Peter and Harry instantly whirled around to find the little yellow monster hanging precariously over the deep chasm, barely clinging to one of the support pillars with their legs. 

“MONSTER KID!!!”

They wasted no time in dashing for the spot where they’d fallen, Peter shouting, “Hang on! Don’t let go!!” Just as they were nearing the dangling monster, Undyne appeared on the opposite end of the bridge, making haste toward them with quick, measured steps. The boys froze for only a second before forcefully shaking themselves out of the stupor and skidding the rest of the way to Monster Kid. They dropped to their knees and reached down, gently but firmly grabbing onto the sides of the monster’s shirt. 

“Easy, buddy,” Peter said breathlessly. “We got you.”

Slowly, carefully, the two pulled Monster Kid up and onto solid ground. They stayed on their knees, panting from exertion, while the monster stared at them with absolute wonder in their eyes. As Undyne’s clanking steps drew closer, Monster Kid shook their head and turned to face her, placing themself directly between her and the human boys. They squared their shoulders and lifted their chin, expression determined. 

"Y...y...yo,” they said shakily. "Dude...if...if y-you wanna hurt my friends...you're gonna have to get through _ me _, first." 

Peter and Harry couldn’t stop their mouths from opening slightly as Monster Kid bravely defended them from the intimidating knight. Even after they’d kept the truth from them...even after they’d been told to stay away...they were still making themself vulnerable to protect the two of them. 

_ They called us their friends. _Peter’s mouth twitched into a smile.

Undyne hesitated, halting her advance. She stared down at the group on the bridge, first at the defiant Monster Kid, then at the prone Peter and Harry behind them. She waited a beat longer, and then...she began to back away. In front of the boys’ astonished eyes, she gave one last, long look at the three, then turned and walked off the way she’d come. As always, the sounds of her metal boots were the last things to fully disappear. 

Monster Kid watched her go completely, then turned back to Peter and Harry. "...She's gone," they said. 

“All thanks to you, buddy,” Peter said gratefully as he and Harry pushed themselves back to their feet. “Once again, we’d have been dead meat without you.” He laughed, and Monster Kid began to chuckle as well.

"Hah, yeah, I guess so.” They peered over the edge of the bridge and gave a short whistle. “Yo...you guys really saved my skin back there. Guess being enemies was just a nice thought,” they laughed. “We'll just have to be friends instead!" 

The relief was like a cool rain, washing away their worries and regrets.

“I think we’d like that,” Peter said with a grin, not even caring that his voice trembled just slightly. 

“We’d like that _ very _much,” Harry confirmed, bending down to give Monster Kid’s head spikes an affectionate ruffle. The monster giggled delightedly, then looked around in surprise, as if only just now realizing how long they’d been out in Waterfall.

"...Man, I should REALLY go home,” they said with wide eyes. “I bet my parents are worried sick about me! I totally lost track of time."

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” Peter smiled and gestured toward the way they’d come with his head. “We’ll see you again sometime soon, though, if you’d like. Would that be okay?”

“Bro, you _ know _it!” Monster Kid said gleefully. They turned around and started to walk away, this time with a much springier (and much more careful) step. When they’d nearly reached the end, they looked over their shoulder and grinned again. "Later, dudes!!" And with that, they ran off, thankfully avoiding their usual trip. 

Peter and Harry watched them go with the biggest smiles they could make. Monster Kid really was one of a kind, and they both felt incredibly privileged to be their friend. Even as they continued across the bridge in the direction of the Capitol with both their immediate and far future unknown, one thing they knew for for sure: they would never, _ ever _forget just how many times their lives had been saved by that spunky yellow monster.


	35. The Spear of Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undyne shows up very soon after leaving the bridge, much to the boys' displeasure, and finally reveals her face. With nowhere left to turn, Peter and Harry realize it's come down to this: they must face Undyne and appeal to her reason and compassion, or die at the end of the spear. But is there any compassion to be reached?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bro I literally can't believe we're already up to the Undyne confrontation lmao how did I manage to keep doing this consistently
> 
> I am hella proud of myself ngl

Finding solid footing after the slight debacle on the bridge was definitely a blessing, even if neither Peter nor Harry had been the ones pitching over the side. Even Peter, who was so used to extreme heights at this point that the precarious altitude hadn’t really bothered him, was thankful to be away from that seemingly unending chasm. 

Unfortunately, their gladness wouldn’t last for very long. The path they’d stepped onto wound its way underneath a tall, rocky outcropping that stretched at least a quarter of the way to the cavern’s ceiling. This in itself would not have been dismaying if not for the stoic, imposing figure of none other than Undyne standing atop the highest craggy peak. One foot was slightly elevated on an unseen boulder, and her iconic spear was clenched firmly in hand. Beyond her silhouette, the horizon looked smoky and red, like the sky just before a terrible storm. 

It was all just a tad  _ too  _ symbolic for Peter’s taste.

"Not again," he mumbled weakly, feeling his legs once again refuse his orders to move forward. “Feels like every way we turn, she’s already there.”

Harry couldn’t speak. His voice was once again lodged in his throat, and no amount of mental pleading could force it out. He just stared up at Undyne and wondered what death might feel like. He really, really didn’t want to find out.

Undyne was facing away from them, but it was obvious she knew they were there. Her head tilted slightly upward, as if pondering something very briefly. Then, with her back still turned, she began to speak.

"Seven,” she intoned, her voice as gruff as the first time they’d heard it. “Seven human souls, and King Asgore will become a god." Slowly she turned to face them, staring down from high atop her perch. "Five. That's how many we have collected thus far. Understand? Through your seventh and final souls, this world will be transformed.” Peter and Harry’s eyes were laser-locked on Undyne. They said nothing. There were things they wanted to say, of course, but at that moment it just seemed...impossible. 

When it became clear they weren’t going to offer anything more than their anxious gazes, Undyne snorted and pounded the butt of her spear into the ground. ““First, however, as is customary for those who make it this far...I shall tell you the tragic tale of our people.” Her voice grew solemn. "It all started, long ago..."

Then Undyne paused. She stood for a moment in silence, as if contemplating something. Peter and Harry could only slide their eyes over to glance at one another, passing a wordless question between them. Above, Undyne’s body suddenly stiffened, and despite the distance between them, the boys could clearly see the blazing fury in her eyes. 

"No, you know what?” she snarled, practically spitting each word. “SCREW IT! WHY SHOULD I TELL THAT STORY WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO  _ DIE?!? _ NGAAHHHHH!" She ripped the concealing helmet from her head with a flourish and threw it down, paying no heed as it bounced and rolled away off the side of the rocky protrusion. For the first time, Peter and Harry saw the face of the warrior woman who’d stop at nothing to end their lives. 

Undyne’s skin was a deep mix of turquoise and aqua, and two fin-like appendages stuck out where her ears would be. Peter realized with a jolt that the gossip they’d heard in Snowdin Town had been quite literal: Undyne was a fish. Well, a fish woman. 

_ I guess that’s what that bear meant when he said ‘a skeleton will tell a fish lady’ about any problems.  _

It all seemed rather obvious now. 

Her fiery hair, freed from its metal confinement, seemed to blow and twist in an invisible wind as she stood with her legs staggered and her hands balled into fists. There was a black eyepatch tied over her left eye, while the right one was trained on the humans below. They hadn’t thought it possible, but she was actually  _ more  _ intimidating with the helmet OFF. 

Undyne’s lip scrunched, baring her sharklike teeth. With all the weight of an executioner condemning the doomed, she pointed an accusatory finger down at them. 

"YOU!"

“Oh my God, oh my God,” Harry whimpered. 

"You're standing in the way of  _ everybody's _ hopes and dreams!” She crossed her arms and flipped her long, long hair. “Alphys' history books made me think humans were cool...with their giant robots and flowery swordsmen. BUT YOU? You're just a couple of cowards!" she yelled. 

Undyne’s invectives were enough to finally jolt Peter’s voice from where it was hiding. Though his legs were unsteady, he forced himself to take one step forward and craned his head higher to meet her gaze directly. 

“H-Hey!” he shouted. “We are NOT cowards! W-What gives you the right to judge us?! You don’t even know us!” 

Peter swallowed imperceptibly. Maybe this was a stupid thing to do (he’d been known to do similar stupid things in the past), but he wasn’t going to let this woman slander himself and his friend. If trying to survive was cowardly, then every living creature would have to be dubbed so. Undyne didn’t even know the half of what they’d been through! And besides, if Peter had really wanted to, he could’ve taken her challenge and squared off with her, no holds barred. But where was the use in that? They didn’t want a fight. They didn’t want to hurt anybody. They just wanted to go home. 

“Oh, give me a break!” Undyne scoffed. "Hiding behind that kid so you could run away from me again? What do you call that? And let's not forget your wimpy goody-two-shoes-schtick!" She began to wave her arms around as she adopted a mocking falsetto, lifting one foot up slightly behind her. "'Oooh! I’m the humans! I'm making such a difference by hugging random strangers!'” She returned to her normal position and growled. “You know what would be more valuable to everyone? IF YOU WERE DEAD!!!”

“We’re n-not just ‘hugging random strangers,’” Peter insisted, furrowing his brow. Behind him he could hear Harry urgently whispering for him to stop, but he didn’t listen. “We’re talking to people! Listening to them! We didn’t f-force anyone to like us. It’s just...if you treat people with kindness, then it’s better for everybody, isn’t it?” Now his expression turned softer, pleading. “Undyne. Please. We don’t want to fight you. If you just give us a  _ chance,  _ let us explain, maybe we can…try and help you.”

“Help me?  _ Help me? _ ” Undyne roared. The boys flinched. 

“Well...we-” Peter started.

“HAH! You’ve gotta be KIDDING!” she spat. “The only way you can  _ help  _ is by DYING!!” Undyne raised her spear and swung it in a tight arc. “Your continued existence is a crime! Your lives are all that stand between us and our freedom!” Undyne struck her breast, lifting her chin again in a proud manner. “Right now, I can feel everyone's hearts pounding together. Everyone's been waiting their whole lives for this moment! But we're not nervous at all. When everyone puts their hearts together, they can't lose!" She looked back down at the somewhat shellshocked Peter and Harry and slid her feet apart in a familiar fighting stance. "Now, humans! Let's end this, right here, right now. I'll show you how determined monsters can be! Step forward when you're ready!" She sneered at them from atop the rocks, awaiting their next move. Clearly she aimed to offer them a fair, fighting chance, at the very least. The only problem was that they didn’t  _ want  _ to fight.

Looking up at Undyne, her eyes fierce, her lip curled in contempt, Peter and Harry were painfully aware that this time there was no way around her. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. They would have to face Undyne. 

"I guess this is it," Peter murmured shakily. "We gotta settle this now.” 

“How?” Harry asked, voice not even a whisper. 

Peter swallowed again. “We talk to her.” It all came down to their ability to talk, and to reason. If they couldn’t reach the compassion that hopefully resided somewhere inside the righteous, willful Undyne, their journey would end right here.  _ No pressure _ . 

Well, they had gotten through to Papyrus, hadn’t they? He’d been ready to capture them all the way up until their true ‘fight’, which wasn’t really a fight at all. Talking had worked then. Why not now?

_ Papyrus was already a kindhearted guy,  _ a little voice reminded Peter.  _ He was already having doubts. Undyne believes in what she’s doing, full force. _

Peter huffed. Okay, maybe that was so, but that didn’t mean her mind couldn’t be changed. The least they could do was  _ try.  _ They HAD to try. 

On the ground by their feet, he noticed a twinkling yellow star that he’d completely missed before. In his defense, he’d probably been too occupied with watching the person who might very well kill them as she monologued from on high. With a frantic fervor he’d never had before, he bent down and practically grasped for the beacon — beacon of  _ what,  _ he still didn’t know, but the comfort it provided (no matter how superficial) was integral to him at this moment. With all the solemnity of a death knell, the great, booming voice simply said, "The wind is howling. You're filled with determination." 

Peter looked over and caught Harry’s eye, and when his friend finally tore his gaze away from Undyne to look at him, Peter nodded once, firmly. A tiny, reassuring smile turned up his mouth. Harry didn’t look so sure, but after a moment’s hesitation he gave a barely noticeable nod back. 

It was time.

They each took a deep breath, and then Peter and Harry looked back up and stepped forward despite the unsteadiness of their legs. If Spider-Man could handle multi-armed menaces and flying teens with angst issues, then Peter Parker and Harry Osborn could make it out alive from a confrontation with a fish lady. They hoped.

Undyne smirked as she saw them step up. "That's it, then!" she crowed, flipping her hair over her shoulder and smiling with all her sharky teeth. "No more running away!  _ HERE I COME! _ " 

With a roar to rival the mightiest of lions, she leapt into the air and fell in a fast, controlled plummet to the ground below, spear brandished at her side. Peter knew in his gut that the moment she touched down, it was do or die -- literally. 

He only hoped that their ‘do’ would be effective enough to prevent the ‘die’.


	36. You Are Now Entering Hotland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The epic confrontation comes to a conclusion!! Undyne is forced to reconcile with the fact that not all humans are ruthless, whether she wants to admit it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this one took me quite a long time to edit! But I think it's all worth it, personally; this was another of my favorites to do :)

Undyne’s landing kicked up a cloud of dust, sending little pebbles and bits of debris every which way. A smirk was stretched across her face as she held up her trusty spear. 

"En guarde!” she declared. “No more running! Unless you learn to face danger head-on, you won't last a SECOND against me!" With a grunt, she lashed out with her spear three times in rapid succession. Peter’s spider sense, ever the blessed asset, allowed him to push Harry completely out of range and dodge each thrust with only moments to spare between each sidestep.

"Undyne, please!" Peter called, leaping to where Harry had landed. "We don't want to fight you!” 

Completely ignoring his plea, Undyne spat on the ground and smirked again. "Not bad! Then how about THIS?!" 

Conjuring several smaller versions of her rippling energy spear, she hurled them one by one toward the boys. Peter was already moving before the first mini spear was halfway across the distance between them. He threw himself low beneath the oncoming projectiles, lifting a wrist to discreetly send out a web line that attached itself to Harry’s arm seconds later. With a swift tug, he pulled his friend beside him and safely out of the range of the mini spears -- well, _ almost. _

The tip of the final spear managed to every-so-slightly graze Harry’s side, right below his ribs. It sliced through the fabric of his sweater and nicked the skin beneath, but thankfully caused only a thin trickle of red to snake down his hip. His head snapped down and he stared in mute horror at the minor cut caused by the weapon. A millisecond later and Harry’s kidneys very well could have been tumbling onto the rocky floor in a fountain of blood.

_ Gulp. _

He bit his lip to keep from letting out a piercing, hysterical scream. He had enough presence of mind to know that that probably wouldn’t help the situation. 

Peter could tell by Harry’s movements and facial expressions that something was wrong. Oh, God, had she gotten him?!

“Harry?” he asked, voice rising in pitch over just two syllables. As if broken from a brief trance, Harry managed to look over at Peter and shook his head as best he could.

“I-I’m fine,” he said hurriedly. “I’m fine.” 

Only slightly reassured, Peter nodded nonetheless and sprang back to his feet, pulling Harry up along with him. Facing Undyne again, the spider-boy put his hands out palm-up in a gesture of supplication. 

"Please! _ Please _ ," he tried again. “We’re not going to fight you. We’re not. Please, can’t we _ talk _?” 

Undyne, once again, didn’t grace his pleading with a direct answer. Instead, her eyes grew distant, as if she were looking far beyond the two humans in front of her. “For years, we've dreamed of a happy ending,” she murmured. 

“Let us help you get that happy ending,” Peter urged. “We’ll do everything we can. Please believe us. Believe me.”

Undyne’s eyes snapped back into focus, and her serene face crinkled into a scowl. Whipping her spear down by her side and gripping it even tighter, she scoffed, “Do all humans lie _ this _pathetically?” 

“W-What? I’m not lying!” Peter protested, but she wasn’t having it.

"Sunlight is just within our reach!" Undyne declared, eyes glinting with determination. "I _ won't _let you snatch it away from us!" She flipped her spear into the air once, in a show of dexterity, then rushed forward in a sprint. 

“Oh, boy,” Peter muttered under his breath. Easily slipping into a defensive stance, he motioned for Harry to move as far away as possible (which he did, readily), then faced the charging fish woman head-on. He forced himself to wait. 

_ Wait for it, wait for it… _

When she was within half a foot, Peter sprang up like a bullfrog, somersaulting over her and landing neatly on the other side. Undye skidded to an abrupt halt as she realized belatedly what happened. Furious, she whipped around and raised the fist that wasn’t holding the spear.

"AGGHH! _ Enough _warming up!" she snarled. Windmilling her arms at an inhuman speed, she launched yet another barrage of spears. As Peter maneuvered himself and Harry under and around the projectiles, he noticed with a shock that Undyne had advanced so much that she was no longer completely blocking the way through the tunnel beneath the craggy outcropping. If there was any chance for them to flee, it was now.

Eyes shining with a new hope, Peter grabbed Harry by the arm and feinted left before dashing hard to Undyne’s right. Harry was confused for only a second before recognizing the brief window of escape, and he poured on the speed along with Peter. Their heaving breaths weren’t loud enough to drown out the “HEY!!!” as Undyne realized what had happened. Before long, the sound of her footfalls rang in their ears as she sprinted after them through the dimness.

The tunnel seemed to stretch on forever as the boys made their mad dash. They couldn’t be sure how long it went on for, but if they didn’t come across some place they could hide soon, or someone they could ask for help, things were probably going to get a lot uglier. Unfortunately, before they’d even gone midway through the tunnel, they heard a grunt and some scraping of metal from behind them -- and then there was Undyne, having bounced off the side of the rocky wall to place herself in front once again. Crap.

“You won't get away from me this time!" she growled. “You should be _ ashamed _, running away like cowards! Is this really the best you can do?!”

“I told you, we’re _ not _ cowards,” Peter snapped, spreading his arms out to shield his more danger prone friend. “We’re trying to talk to you, and you’re not listening! Not even _ trying. _You know what’s really cowardly? Judging someone without even hearing their side of the story!” 

Undyne’s eye flashed. “Oh, you think you can call _ me _a coward and get away with it??” she seethed. “You’re gonna EAT those words!!!”

Crouching down briefly, she suddenly launched herself forward again, springing up over their heads and aiming the spear straight down like a skewer. Harry screamed. Peter almost screamed on reflex, but instead he managed to throw both himself and his friend backwards, well out of range. Undyne’s spear came down hard in the ground, so hard that it stuck itself deeply in the rock. 

“AGHHH!!” Undyne cursed and began to try and yank her weapon out from its rocky prison. Despite her incredible strength, she was definitely having some clear difficulty wrestling the spear from the ground. Good. That would definitely buy them some precious time.

“Undyne, _ please,” _ Peter said, exhaustion creeping into his voice. “We’re not here to hurt you. We’re not here to hurt _ anybody. _ If you would stop slashing that spear and let us breathe for one _ second, _we could explain ourselves and what we’re trying to do. Please, please, we just want to talk.” Peter was aware of just how much he sounded like a broken record at this point, but what other choice did he have? How else could he make her understand? He looked over his shoulder and motioned for Harry to stay back, then began to approach her slowly with both hands up, doing everything in his power to label himself as a non-threat. Undyne glanced briefly up from her struggle before gritting her teeth and doubling her efforts. 

"Honestly, I'm doing you a favor,” she said, voice edged with distaste. “No human has EVER made it past Asgore! You’d get your miserable faces obliterated in a millisecond." 

"You don’t know that," said Peter. “From what we’ve heard, Asgore’s a kind man. He might understand.” He laughed lightly, ruefully. He almost felt like they’d have an easier time talking to _ him _than to Undyne at the moment. But, still...he had to keep trying. For himself. For Harry. For the sake of all the monsters in the Underground.

Crouching down several feet from where Undyne was still angrily yanking at the spear, he looked up and tried to catch her one eye with his own two pleading ones. He put his hands together in a loose grip and said, in a quiet voice, “Not every human is like the ones who hurt you. The only thing we want, the _ only _ thing, is to fix what our ancestors destroyed. Please, Undyne, you have to believe me. If you let us go, we’ll get you out of here. _ All _of you. Everyone who’s been wrongly trapped here.” 

Peter felt himself starting to tremble lightly in earnest. His head was floaty, tiny spots dancing in front of his vision. No doubt the stress and the exertion was starting to weigh even more heavily on him. Still, he kept his position, staring up at the armored woman as she grunted with great effort. 

After a moment or so, Undyne paused in her labor. She looked down at Peter with an unreadable face like stone, her yellow eye seemingly looking straight through him and into his soul. Peter leaned forward just a fraction, eyes widening with cautious hope. Behind him, Harry watched with a giant boulder in his stomach, pushing down on him so hard that he felt he might topple any second. 

“...You really think _you_ could free us?” she asked, slanting her eyebrows incredulously. 

“Yes,” Peter said breathlessly. “Yes. I-I don’t know how, but we’ll do it. I promise you we will.” He wobbled slightly on his heels, and in a split second decision he allowed himself to fall over onto his rump. Sitting so prostrate and vulnerable at the feet of the monster who’d tried to skewer them countless times may have seemed foolish. It also was. But right then, he was only focused on the tiny glimmer of hope that maybe, _ maybe, _this time she was listening. 

Undyne stared down at him for a few more silent moments, shifting her gaze to Harry as well, then back again. She let out a heavy breath. For one moment -- for one beautiful glorious moment -- Peter believed she was going to call a ceasefire.

And then, with a single, incredibly powerful tug, Undyne freed her spear from the rock bed and raised it high above her head. 

Peter’s face fell so fast he nearly got whiplash.

“Nice try, _ human, _ ” she snarled, “but I’m WAY too smart to fall for _ that _crap!!!” She took a menacing step forward, her long shadow falling over Peter as he remained frozen on the ground. "Killing you now is an act of mercy! So STOP being so damn resilient!" 

The spear came whizzing down through the air, closing the short distance with ease, and Peter realized with a surge of despair that even his superhuman reflexes wouldn’t be able to move him out of the way fast enough this time. The spear was too close. He was too prone. He’d really done it this time.

_ I’m sorry, Harry, _ he thought faintly, watching the spear in almost slow motion thanks to his ultra-heightened perception that had kicked in. _ I didn’t want you to do this on your own. _

And then, just before the spear pierced the top of his head, there was a sound. A sound that sounded like the way Harry had screamed when they’d watch _ Nightmare on Elm Street _ together for the first time at summer camp. It turned out that was because it _ was _Harry, screaming, as he came flying into Peter from the side so hard that he slammed the both of them against the other wall. The spear struck the ground and bounced harmlessly off the rock, sending a shockwave up Undyne’s arm that paralyzed her for just a moment.

Peter sat up and rubbed his head. He was somewhat dazed, but the ringing in his ears paled in comparison to the _ splitting _ (heh) headache he would’ve had if the spear had met its mark. He was _ alive _. God, he was alive!! 

“Harry!!” he exclaimed gleefully, throwing his arms around his woozy best friend. Harry pushed himself up, his unfocused eyes trying to zero in on Peter.

“Pete...?” he asked dazedly. “You...okay? Did I do it? Are we dead…?”

“No, Har,” Peter chuckled, feeling heady with relief and adrenaline. “I’m not dead, because of you! You beautiful, crazy bastard!!” He hugged him again, then jumped up and yanked Harry to his feet beside him. “Come on, no time to lose! Time to skedaddle!” 

Still somewhat unsteady on their legs, Peter and Harry booked it down the tunnel once again. They knew Undyne wouldn’t stay disoriented for long. 

Sure enough, only seconds later they heard the familiar metallic pounding as she raced up behind them, shouting various rude words and cursing them, their parents, their grandparents, and ‘all those scummy humans who came before you!!!’. Out of all the monsters, her language was certainly the most colorful. 

Up ahead, a faint light was growing brighter — the end of the tunnel! Peter and Harry prayed that there would be something, _ anything _outside this craggy, confined space that they could use to get a break from this relentless chase. If they found other monsters, would Undyne pursue them into the crowd, or back off and wait for a better opportunity? The last thing they wanted to do was get any bystanders involved in this mess. Hopefully her dedication to protecting her people would be enough to keep her from charging spear-first into a group of civilians...but it was always better to be safe than sorry. There had to be some other way to get her off their backs. 

Just like before, Undyne wasted little time in dashing past, halting their escape for the second time. The look of raw fury on her face was indescribable. 

"You've escaped me for the LAST TIME!" she yelled. Staggering her stance the way she had up on top of the rocks, Undyne lowered her head and snorted a few times. She looked for all the world like a bull about to charge. Peter tilted his head back and moaned in exasperation.

“Undyne, come _ ooon,” _ he complained. “Hasn’t our running away shown you _ anything _about our intentions?”

“Yeah! It shows me you’re SCARED! Like you SHOULD BE!” 

Peter pinched the bridge of his nose. Again, if he really, _ really _ wanted to, he could whap Undyne with so much webbing that she wouldn’t be able to move a single armor-plated muscle, and stick her up on the cavern ceiling for a good hour or so. He could show her just how much resilience and fortitude humans really had. But he didn’t want to do that, no matter how much that tiny little voice in his head whispered _ Come on, why not? It’s not gonna hurt her. It’d just teach her a harmless lesson. _

But, no. Toriel had taught them differently. And Peter knew differently in his heart. Besides, what would webbing Undyne really do, besides make her mad? They weren’t just running away to save their lives (although that was a big part of it); they also knew that if they wanted to have any chance of actually changing Undyne’s mind about them, and humanity, they had to show her they weren’t going to retaliate. Not in any way, shape, or form. That was the only way, if there _ was _a way at all. 

Another volley of weapons flying toward their faces and Harry’s warning shriek of “PETER!!” drew him back into the heat of their one-sided battle. 

“Here we go again,” he muttered. This time he opted to go with a slightly more flashy dodge maneuver, taking a running start before sliding on his knees beneath the hurled spears and leaning back like a limbo champ. Simultaneously, he whipped his wrist behind him and released another discreet little blob of web that knocked Harry (as gently as possible) onto his ass and safely beneath Undyne’s attack. 

Undyne watched this display with her mouth agape. Peter couldn’t keep a self-satisfied smirk off his face as he popped up neatly like a weeble-wobble. As Undyne continued to stare in obvious astonishment, he took a bow. “Thank you, thank you. Always happy to perform incredible feats of athleticism for my fans.”

When she’d gotten her voice back, Undyne shook her head and humphed. “Alphys told me humans were determined,” she muttered. "I see now what she meant by that!" 

"Whoever that is, she’s about got us pegged,” said Peter proudly. "And you know what? We’re sure as hell _ determined _to get through to you! No matter what it takes. So come on, Undyne.” He reached his hand out to her, gazing down the length of his arm steadily. “What do you say?” 

Undyne glared at Peter’s outstretched hand. Peter felt himself wilt visibly. Just by her expression, he could tell this wasn’t over.

"You may be determined,” she started, raising herself up to her full height, “but _ I'm _ determined, too! Determined to end this RIGHT NOW!" 

She lunged forward and swiped with her spear. Not having expected such a simple attack after her volley of fast-flying spears, Peter stepped to the side quickly. Undyne stumbled and missed before staggering back, her good eye narrowed in surprise. 

“...RIGHT NOW!" 

Again she lunged, and again Peter stepped to the side. No fancy tricks, no great exertion… just a simple sidestep. Peter briefly looked over his shoulder at Harry, who’s eyes were as wide as they’d been through this whole ordeal. The taller boy had been mostly silent besides his shrieks of terror, and honestly, Peter couldn’t blame him for that. Harry wasn’t used to such high-stakes situations the way Peter was; at least, not used to being in the thick of them. After this was over, he’d make sure to check in with him and make sure he was alright. 

Turning his eyes back to Undyne — the whole look back at Harry had taken only a second — Peter was somewhat bemused to see that she seemed throughly perplexed. After all her braggadocio, it finally looked as though she was starting to see that this was not going to be as easy as she’d thought. 

_ Good. Maybe she’ll get so confused and fed up that she’ll let us get a word out. _

Shaking the uncertainty from her face, Undyne gritted her sharp teeth and stamped her foot. “....RIGHT....NOW!" she growled, practically launching herself at Peter. When the spider-boy evaded her yet again with ease, simply jumping over her and her spear, she dug her heels into the earth and came to a halt halfway between the two human boys. Looking back and forth, she suddenly let out a rueful, exhausted laugh. 

“You really aren’t what I expected,” she admitted, voice startlingly quiet. 

“No?” Peter asked cautiously. “And is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“I don’t know.” 

Undyne’s hands suddenly clenched again, hard, and she lowered her head while maintaining intense eye contanct. “But I DO know that your kind has made our kind suffer for _ far _too long. And I know that acquiring your souls will give us the life we’ve deserved for centuries. So...no matter what you are or aren’t...YOU HAVE TO DIE!!”

With a chilling battle cry, Undyne summoned a literal storm of spears: some full-sized, some mini, all deadly. Peter saw the oncoming assault and realized he had all of three seconds to react, and thankfully, react he did. With a single backwards leap he reached Harry, and he wasted no time in pulling him down and spinning a hasty half-dome of web in front of their crouched figures. Hopefully, amidst the hail of energy spears, Undyne wouldn’t notice the particular way they were defending themselves.

_ Oh please oh please oh please... _

When the rain ended, the web shield was practically shredded. However, it had done its job: Peter and Harry were both alive and unscathed. It had been just sturdy enough to keep the spears at bay. Peter and Harry both let out tiny, grateful sighs. Undyne, on the other hand, was less than pleased.

"NGAAAHHH! DIE ALREADY, YOU LITTLE BRATS!!!” she screamed.

“No thanks! I think we’ll pass!”

Peter, once again taking his friend’s arm, took a great bounding leap over the furious Undyne’s head, and as soon as they touched down they started running. 

“Peter,” Harry gasped, putting a hand to his chest. “I’m starting to...get kinda light headed...I-I don’t know how much longer I can keep running…”

Peter shot a worried glance at him. Harry’s stamina was far less than his own; he was certainly liable to collapse if he didn’t get a rest soon. Peter could carry him if that did happen, but it would slow them down considerably. And that could mean the difference between life and death. 

They had to end this soon.

As Peter’s mind raced with calculations, he was nearly startled into tripping when he both felt and heard their phone ring. 

_ Just our luck, getting a call at a time like this!! _

Still, against his better judgement, he reached into his pocket and held the phone to his ear as they continued to sprint. 

“H-Hello??”

"Hey!" Papyrus' cheery, somewhat staticky voice said through the receiver. "What's up!?"

_ Well...I guess there really WAS only one person it could be, _he thought.

"We're kinda busy right now, Papyrus!" Peter puffed. “C-Can we get back to you later?”

“Oh!! My apologies! I was just thinking...you two, me, and Undyne should all hang out sometime!" Papyrus said. "I think you would make great pals!" 

If irony was a physical thing, it would’ve clocked Peter on the head just then and sent him sprawling to the ground. It really would have. 

_ My life is a cartoon. It’s a black comedy. That’s the only explanation. _

Swallowing the dumbfounded block in his throat, Peter stammered, “Listen, Papyrus-" 

"It’s okay, Human!! No need to thank me for the wonderful idea! I know you’re busy,” Papyrus interjected. “You can do that when we meet up at her house later!!”

Peter’s eyes snapped open wider.

“Wait, what?! No, Papyrus, you don’t-”

“See you then!!” the skeleton bubbled. The phone line cut off with a _ click, _leaving Peter with a flabbergasted expression, the device still pressed to his ear. 

“...Oh, boy,” he murmured. 

“Wha happened?" Harry asked somewhat deliriously. 

“Ahh...long story,” Peter replied, slipping the phone back in his pocket, “but he basically invited us to, uh...h-hang out with him. And Undyne. At her house.”, 

Harry nearly choked. "I think that's out of the question!" he exclaimed, kicking his speed up an extra notch. 

“Yeah,” Peter agreed. He could practically feel Undyne’s breath on the back of his neck now, making the hairs there stand straight up. “Suffice to say, I don’t think that’s gonna happen anytime soon.”

There was a grunt and a clank, and Undyne landed in front of Peter and Harry for the third time, sending them screeching to a stop. Her eye was almost pure fire. 

"STOP RUNNING AWAY!" she screeched. "YOU'RE GETTING IN MY WAY!" 

“Actually, technically _ you’re _ getting in _ our _way,” Peter pointed out. “But, semantics, semantics.” 

Undyne gave a throat-shredding roar. “I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!" 

She raised her spear again, and as was routine by this point, Peter braced himself to leap over, left, or right, or maybe duck like that other time. But this time, the attack wasn’t aimed mostly at Peter. In fact, it wasn’t aimed at Peter at all. Undyne feigned as though she were going to strike him from above, then, when he dropped to the flood, she soared over him and landed directly in front of Harry. By the time Peter realized the trick, it was too late. He froze.

_ Oh no no no. _

Harry’s head snapped back to look at the looming monster, his green eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. Being this close to Undyne… it was petrifying.

“You’ve been awful quiet,” Undyne sneered, twirling her spear. “Any last words, _ punk? _”

Harry opened his mouth, but only a pitiful squeak came out. Undyne scoffed.

“Didn’t think so. Pathetic.”

With not even a quarter amount of the effort she’d exhibited when trying to nail Peter, Undyne drove the spear down toward Harry. Harry saw it approaching, saw the gleam of the bluish energy, saw his terrified reflection in the light it cast, and he knew that he had two options: he could either do something, or he could die. 

He chose to do something.

With strength — and courage — he didn’t know he had, Harry grabbed the spear along its shaft and twisted it as hard as he could, forcing Undyne to change her grip. This, in turn, changed the axis of the spear from vertical to horizontal, so that it acted as a thin obstacle between himself and her.

Undyne’s eye popped wide open in shock at Harry’s display. Clearly she had assumed that Harry was the weaker of the two boys, someone not to be taken seriously. She’d likely figured she could take him out first, possibly cripple Peter’s spirit, and then finish him off while he was mourning. 

Harry said a silent thank-you to any deities that might exist that it hadn’t played out that way.

Undyne snapped out of it rather quickly, her expression hardening as she began to push the spear toward Harry. Though his arms shook, he continued to hold the spear in place, straining to keep the tip from turning back toward him. They went back and forth for a short time in a reverse tug-of-war, and Harry could faintly hear Peter scrambling over, shouting for Undyne to stop.

“Undyne,” Harry gasped, feeling his feet begin to slowly slide back across the rocks. “P-Please...please stop. Please, stop, _ p-please _. We don’t wanna hurt you! We don’t wanna die! Please, you have to stop, you have to stop,” he begged. 

“You’re a _ stain _on this world,” Undyne snarled. “You can’t prevent the liberation of our people. I won’t let you!” 

“We don’t _ want _ to,” Harry said desperately, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. “We want to _ help _you! Please!!” The spear edged closer to his body and he grunted with the effort of keeping it at bay. “I-If Papyrus trusts us, d-don’t you think you could, too?”

Undyne grimaced.

“Papyrus got taken in by your _ lies _ ,” she stated. “I don’t blame him for that. He’s a kind person. He wants to see the good in everyone, even human _ scum.” _

“You’re w-wrong about us,” Harry maintained. His words were growing firmer now, and his voice was starting to tremble just a little less. “We’ve done _nothing _to you, Undyne. Nothing!! All we’ve ever done is try to _talk _to you. Just like we talked to Papyrus. Hell, maybe we could even be your _friend. _But you’re so damn stubborn that you don’t wanna think you could ever be wrong. You’re AFRAID to be wrong. Because that would mean that the world isn’t exactly the way you _thought_.” 

Undyne physically started. She suddenly let go of the spear, causing Harry to stumble back a bit before steadying himself. He looked up in shock as she backed up a foot or so, staring at him with this look of...bewilderment, reproach, and a tiny hint of clarity. It was at this moment that Peter finally reached his friend’s side, sliding to a stop and putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Harry!! Are you okay?! She didn’t hurt you, right?” When Harry didn’t say anything right away, he tracked his gaze to the equally silent Undyne. His face dawned in realization. “Oh my God. Did you…?” He looked at Harry again, pride lighting his eyes at the sight of him standing his ground so confidently. 

Harry, maintaining level eye contact with the armored monster, held his arm straight out and dropped the spear on the ground. She tracked its movement before looking back at the human boy who’d let it fall. She still said nothing.

“It’s okay to change your mind, Undyne,” Harry said firmly. “It’s okay to be wrong. Wouldn’t you rather admit being wrong, and gain a few friends...than insist you’re right, and keep your people from maybe getting back to the Surface _ peacefully? _” 

Undyne’s chest moved up and down slowly. Her eyes darted around, as if trying to determine whether this was a prank or not. Her eye twitched. 

“Please," Peter said quietly. “What more can we do to convince you?”

“...”

Undyne looked down, half hiding her expression from view. Her once-fearsome demeanor had all but vanished, leaving in its place someone who didn’t know _ what _to do or to think.

Finally, she spoke uncertainly.

“I...can’t let it end this way,” she murmured. “If I back down now...everyone will think I’m a fraud.”

“That’s not true,” Peter insisted. “We’ll talk to them. Together.” 

Undyne fell silent again, but only for a mere moment. Then, another spear materialized in her hand, and the boys’ hearts sank like twin stones.

“No,” she said softly. “There’s only...one way to end this. It’s what we’ve always known.” She lifted her head. “Humans. You _ have _to die. And if there’s an afterlife...then maybe you’ll see the good your souls will- HEY!!!”

Her solemn voice rose two octaves as she realized that Peter and Harry were no longer standing in front of her. She whirled around to see them tearing ass down the tunnel yet again, their feet tapping a familiar rhythm on the rough ground. 

“GET B A C K HERE!!!”

Yeah, like _ that _was gonna happen.

Up ahead, the light that had been growing steadily ever brighter finally gave way to the absolute _ hottest _part of the Underground they’d experienced so far. The walls here were made of dry, clay-like stone rather than the damp rocks of Waterfall, and they could see literal magma flowing from some of the cracks and down to the floor. 

“Oh my God, I’m gonna melt,” Peter panted exasperatedly, wiping some sweat that had materialized on his brow. Harry was already tugging at the collar of his black sweater. It had been barely warm enough to keep the chill out in Snowdin Town, and now it was _ just _ warm enough to make him bake. Figures. 

As they fled across another long, narrow wooden bridge spanning some stagnant lava, they noticed Sans dozing at a guard post. 

_ Huh. That’s odd, _ thought Peter. _ I thought he only worked in Snowdin and Waterfall. Does he have THREE jobs? _

Then his rational brain stepped in and smacked him with an imaginary frying pan. 

_ OH!! _

“Sans!! SANS!!!” Peter and Harry called as they dashed pass his post. “HELP US!”

The chubby skeleton stirred, his shoulders moving slightly, but he didn’t pick his head up from where it was buried beneath his arms, and within seconds his breathing was deep and even again. It seemed their friend was quite the heavy sleeper.

_ Well...heck. _

It appeared as if their only option was to keep running, then. But how much farther would they have to go? Peter could see Harry getting fainter by the minute. They had to stop and rest soon. 

In a stroke of luck that had long since surpassed every lucky streak Peter had ever had in his entire life, they wouldn’t have to run for much longer. When they reached the other end of the bridge, they briefly looked back to see where Undyne was, and they both immediately noticed that she was moving considerably slower. Every movement was becoming stiff, lagging, like she was slogging through water. 

Exchanging somewhat worried looks, Peter and Harry finally paused their flight as they watched their pursuer lumber over the bridge with considerable difficulty.

“Undyne?” Peter called hesitantly. “Are...are you okay?”

She grunted, but it sounded weak. "Armor...so...hot..." 

Her face was beginning to turn a light shade of red; a stark contrast to the usual aqua of her skin. Her yellow eye began to dull and go out of focus. All at once, Peter realized what was happening.

“Oh, no,” he gasped. “Undyne’s a _ fish. _That armor’s cooking her alive!!” Cupping his hands around his mouth, he yelled, “Undyne! Go back! You’re gonna get hurt!”

Undyne shot a weak look glower his way. “No...I…I can't...give up..." But it was no use. Even the mighty Undyne couldn’t withstand the searing heat of Hotland. She took one more step, then collapsed. 

Peter and Harry jumped as she hit the bridge with a deafening metal crash. For a moment they stood there, staring in astonishment — then the shock (and tiny wisp of relief) wore off and was replaced by panic. What were they going to do?! If they didn’t do _ something, _it was a very startling possibility that Undyne would die. With her eye closed, her tongue lolled out, it was clear she was fading fast. 

“W-What do we do?” Harry asked waveringly, eyes still glued to their fallen aggressor. “Sh-She’s frying in that thing!”

“I don’t know,” Peter said, feeling himself start to hyperventilate. “I don’t know! What about...Sans? Should we ask him to help? Or maybe-”

“There!” Harry suddenly cried. Peter looked to see what his friend had found. There, just a few feet away, was an extremely convenient water cooler, complete with tiny paper cups. It may not have been much, but dammit, it was their best and seemingly only choice.

“Good work, Harry!!”

They both raced to the cooler and each filled a cup with ice cold water, then made their way speedily back to Undyne, being careful not to spill a single drop. With a silent, fervent prayer, they dumped the water onto the fish woman’s face. Then they stepped back and waited, hoping it would be enough to save her.

A few unbearably long seconds ticked by. Then Undyne gasped, heaving great deep breaths, and opened her eye. The boys nearly melted in relief. Or maybe that was the heat. It could’ve been both. 

Slowly, Undyne pushed herself back to her feet, swaying only slightly as she did. Once she’d completely steadied herself, she looked up at Peter and Harry with a look of absolute bewilderment. They’d seen her confused before, but _ never _ like this. It really did look as if she’d had her whole world turned upside down.

“Hey, are you okay?” Peter asked her, knitting his eyebrows. “How do you feel?”

Undyne didn’t answer him. She looked left. Then she looked right. Then she looked back at the boys, her expression now unreadable. Then, she turned around and silently walked back the way she’d come — across the bridge, through the entrance to Hotland, and (assumedly) back down the tunnel she’d doggedly pursued them through. And just like the last two times, Undyne kept walking until she was well out of sight. This time, though, it felt different. This time, something told Peter and Harry that she had given up on hunting them for good.


	37. Labs and Lizards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry enter the lab in Hotland, where they meet its quirky occupant, Dr. Alphys. While they're delighted to hear she wants to help them, she's unfortunately accidentally created something that is far from helpful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! I'm sorry for missing last week's upload! I went somewhere last Saturday where internet connection was almost nonexistent, so when I got home on Sunday, I figured that with the little I was able to do on the chapter, I might as well take a short break for that week to recuperate and get ready for this week and the upcoming ones. A little vacation break, if you will, haha. Hopefully uploads will be pretty consistent for a while going forward :) I'm so happy to finally introduce my girl Alphys! This chapter, as many of you probably know, kickstarts one of the wildest mini-arcs in the story, so that'll be a fun one to go through. ^w^

With Undyne receding back to who-knows-where, Peter and Harry were finally, _ finally _able to take a breather. They both practically fell onto their backsides, stretching out their legs and leaning back as far as they could without fully lying down. 

“Ohhh, my aching _ everything _,” Harry muttered.

“She sure did a number on us,” Peter agreed, examining himself closely. “I mean, all things considered we got away pretty unscathed, but there were a few close calls.”

“You’re telling me.” Harry traced his finger around the tear that one of Undyne’s spears had torn in his sweater and frowned.

“Hey, lemme see that. I’ll patch it up for you.” Peter scooted over and examined the small cut for a moment before swiftly spinning a little bandage out of web and applying it over both the wound and the torn fabric. Harry sighed in appreciation.

“Thanks. At least it won’t get infected now.”

With a grunt, Harry stood up and lifted his hands high above his head, only stopping when he heard a slight _ crrk. _“Alright,” he said, a yawn punctuating the word. “I guess we’d better keep going, right?”

Peter got to his feet beside his friend and nodded.

“Yup, I’d say so.” He grinned. “I bet it’ll be a lot less stressful without Undyne stalking us everywhere. Well… maybe not a _ lot, _but it’ll be at least a little easier.” He paused suddenly, looking thoughtful. “Harry...did you see the way she looked at us after she got up? When we poured the water on her so she wouldn’t overheat?”

Harry laughed a little. “She looked confused as hell.”

“Heh, yeah.” Peter chuckled. “But I think...I think it might’ve been more than that, y’know?”

“More?”

“Yeah. Like, maybe...maybe she finally realized that we meant what we said. Maybe she was starting to believe us. Maybe she might be starting to change her mind.”

Harry snorted now, shrugging. “I dunno, Pete. She definitely seemed surprised that we helped her, but I have a hard time believing she’d ever actually hold a good opinion about us. It might be too ingrained in her to change, now.”

Peter hummed and stuck his hands in his pockets. “Maybe. But maybe not. I believe people always have a chance to change.” 

“...Maybe,” Harry admitted. “I’d like to think she will. But I guess only time will tell.”

The two boys turned back to the ongoing path that they’d been following since the Ruins and were somewhat startled to notice an incredibly white, two-story building with glass windows directly in the middle of the road. 

“Whoa!!”

Had that been there before? Peter figured it probably had, and they’d just been too occupied with making sure Undyne didn’t burn to a crisp right in front of them. There was a familiar little star off to the side, just before the large building, and Peter went over to give it a poke, hoping it might shed some light on what they were seeing.

“Seeing such a strange laboratory in a place like this...you're filled with determination," the voice said. 

_ A lab, huh? _

Peter’s eyes immediately began to shine with excitement. If there was a laboratory, then there were probably scientists inside. _ Monster _scientists. How freaking cool was that?! Monster scientists!! People who were probably developing technologies the likes of which humanity had never even seen! Just the thought of getting to meet the Underground’s scientific minds set Peter’s body vibrating with an excited energy. They had to keep moving, yes, but surely there would be a little time to strike up a conversation? After all, opportunities like this didn’t come around very often.

Harry immediately noticed his friend’s anticipatory demeanor, and he chuckled and shook his head. “Oh, boy,” he said with a smirk. “Just what we need. A scientific distraction.”

“Aw, come on, Harry!” Peter exclaimed, beginning to walk backwards toward the building while beaming at the other boy. “This isn’t a distraction! It’s just a...a detour! Yeah! An extremely interesting, possibly life-changing detour.” He paused and clasped his hands together, putting on his best puppy-dog pout. “You wouldn’t really mind if we checked out the lab, would you?” 

Harry sighed, but he was laughing lightly as he joined Peter’s side. 

“No,” he said, “I guess not. Besides, it looks like the path runs straight through here, so I don’t think we have much of a choice anyway.” There was another path branching out toward the left, but two monsters in full armor were standing guard there, so it was probably safe to assume nobody was supposed to go that way at the moment. And it was also probably safe to assume that asking the guards to move wouldn’t go down so well. 

Peter squealed with glee and spun around to face the lab again, reaching for Harry’s hand and grabbing it tightly. “You know, you are ABSOLUTELY right!! We’d better get in there, then, huh? Come on, let’s go, let’s _ go _!” Peter ran the rest of the way to the sliding glass doors of the laboratory, tugging a yelping Harry along behind him. As soon as they stepped foot in the facility, Peter’s head was whipping back and forth, his eyes eagerly devouring every possible sight the place had to offer.

The interior was exactly as white and clinical as the outside. The low hum of hi-tech equipment and computers throbbed like a pulse, and a dozen different blinking lights flashed an indistinct pattern. A huge monitor, situated on a wall a few steps from the entrance, showed the boys on screen as they walked past with wide eyes. 

_ Must be hooked up to a security camera somewhere, _Peter thought briefly before becoming wrapped up in all the scientific goodies surrounding him once again. He just couldn’t believe it. Logically he knew that any modern civilization would have teams dedicated to research and scientific exploits, but he’d never dreamed he’d actually get to see what could be the hub of the Underground’s science community. He wondered if he might be able to swap theories and ideas with whoever worked here, if they were currently in the building at all. Just the thought of it made him smile like a dope. 

As they passed a nearby desk occupied by a desktop computer and dozens of empty Chinese food containers and tea cups, Harry gently nudged Peter in the ribs and pointed to it. 

"Looks a lot like your desk," he joked. Peter stuck out his tongue playfully.

“Like yours is any better.”

“Mine is covered in taco wrappers, so yeah, it is.”

The sudden loud, jarring opening of a metal door startled the boys out of their banter, and they whirled around to see what was going on.

From a previously unseen door off the left down the hall, a short, incredibly bright yellow lizard lady emerged. She wore a white lab coat that was buttoned all the way up, and there were tiny spectacles perched on her saurian nose. She was looking down at her phone, obviously occupied with something, and she muttered to herself as she walked down the hallway in their direction with her head down.

“Maybe I should’ve put more cameras… Haven’t seen them since that tunnel in Waterfall… I hope everything’s okay…” 

The lizard woman happened to look up for a moment, and when she noticed Peter and Harry standing there with somewhat wide, curious eyes, she froze in place and paled. 

"Oh. My God! I didn't expect you to show up so soon!" she exclaimed, slipping her phone into her pocket and putting her hands to her head. "I haven't showered, I-I'm barely dressed, it's all messy, and..." She shook her head rapidly, and then she smiled nervously and straightened the collar of her coat. "Umm...I mean...h-h-hiya! I'm Dr. Alphys. I'm Asgore's royal scientist!” 

_ Alphys. Alphys. Where have I heard that name before… _

The harsh, loud voice of Undyne suddenly echoed in his ears: “Alphys told me humans were determined. I see now what she meant by that!”

_ OH!!! _

Alphys, apparently worried that being associated with the king might make them wary, quickly began to speak again, words tumbling out of her mouth and nearly tripping over themselves. “B-b-but, ahhhh, I'm not one of the 'bad guys', heheh! I’m not here to s-stop you, or hurt you, or...a-anything like that. Heh.” 

“So _ you’re _Dr. Alphys,” Peter said in final understanding. “I was wondering if we’d end up meeting!” He offered her a bright, genuine smile and held out his hand. “It’s great to finally meet you!” 

Alphys stared at his hand like it was something strange and foreign for a good ten seconds before shaking herself out of whatever stupor had come over her, and she hurriedly made to shake it, giggling nervously.

“O-O-Oh! Um! You...you know me?” she asked, sounding rather bemused. 

“Yeah!” Harry piped up. “Well, I mean, we’ve heard about you. Undyne mentioned you when we were-” He paused, unsure if it would be wise to continue. Eventually he settled on, “-when we ran into her.” He smiled sheepishly. 

“You seemed to be expecting us,” Peter noted, glancing around the lab again. “You said something about not ‘expecting us so soon’? How did you know we were coming?” he asked curiously. “How did you even know we were down here?”

Alphys’s face colored pink, and she began to wring her hands as she dipped her head. "O-Oh! Uh...well...actually," she confessed, "since you stepped out of the Ruins, um, I've kind of been...'observing' your journey through my console." She peered up at the boys from behind her glasses, looking somewhat sheepish.

Peter’s brows furrowed in confusion, but then he smacked his forehead. "Of course!” he exclaimed. “All those cameras I was seeing everywhere...that was you, wasn’t it? I’m not crazy!!” It felt good to know that the camera in the bush just outside of the Ruins hadn’t been a figment of his imagination. 

Alphys nodded, chuckling nervously. "Th-That's right! Your fights...your friendships...everything! I saw it all from right here.” She paused for a moment again, and her tail swished from side to side with little jittery motions. “I was originally going to stop you, but...watching people on a screen really makes you root for them," Alphys said, face turning red again. "S-So, ahhh, now I want to...to help you!" The woman clasped her hands and studied the faces of the humans intently, likely searching for - and expecting - signs of disdain or dismissal. Her face brightened ever so slightly when she was only met with surprised smiles.

"Really?” said Peter, tilting his head. “Wow, I guess we must not be all that insufferable after all!” He laughed to himself. Alphys laughed, too, in a stilted tittery way. That just seemed to be her characteristic noise. 

“Y-Yeah!” she agreed. “I mean, no-! I mean...you guys are...really cool.” Alphys rubbed her neck and her mouth twitched briefly. “S-So I thought I should...help you out! I mean, that is, if you...want my help.”

“Are you kidding?” Peter laughed. “We could use all the help we can get!”

“Yeah, seriously,” said Harry. “We owe you big-time, Alphys.”

The earnest acceptance of her assistance seemed to fuel Alphys greatly, as the lizard woman smiled just a bit more confidently and straightened her very hunched posture. "G-Great!” she squealed. “Using my knowledge, I can easily guide you through Hotland! I know a way right to Asgore's castle, no problem!"

"Awesome!” Harry enthused. He turned to Peter and grinned. “I can’t believe it’s gonna be that easy to get the rest of the way there. I thought we’d have to get through at _ least _another two debacles or so.” Peter chuckled and nodded his head.

“Heh, yeah. Who knew we were so close to our goal after all?”

Alphys winced suddenly, and her smile turned into a grimace. Immediately catching the change, Peter swallowed lightly and blinked. “Uh, Doc…? What’s with the face? Is something wrong?”

Alphys scratched the back of her neck and turned her head, not making eye contact with either boy now. "...Well, actually, umm, there's just a tiny issue,” she admitted. Peter and Harry shared a worried glance.

"What, uh...what might that be?" Peter asked. Alphys took a deep breath.

"A long time ago," she said, "I made a robot named Mettaton. Originally, I built him to be an entertainment robot. Uh, you know, like a robotic TV star or something."

"Hey, that's pretty cool," Peter said, intrigued. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a robotic idol.” Well, actually, there _ was _that Japanese computer band...what was it called again? Ahh, it probably didn’t matter anyway. 

"Anyway," Alphys continued, "recently I decided to make him more useful. You know, just some small practical adjustments." 

"Like what?" Harry asked. For whatever reason, he had a bad feeling form in the pit of his stomach. Alphys smiled nervously again, and she began to visibly sweat.

"Like, um...anti...anti-human combat features?" she squeaked. 

"What?!" 

"Of c-course, when I saw you coming, I immediately decided, 'I have to remove those features!'" she said quickly, waving her hands. "Unfortunately, I may have made a _ teensy _mistake while doing so." 

"Uh-oh," Peter muttered. He had a feeling he knew where this was headed. If Ultron was any indication, malfunctioning robots made by geniuses usually led to disastrous consequences. 

"And, um...now he's an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood?" Alphys finished, wincing once more and grinning in apology. Peter and Harry groaned. They couldn’t help it. After _ finally _leaving the whole hunting nonsense with Undyne behind, here they were, unknowingly the target of a well-meaning scientist’s failed pet project. 

"Here we go again, I guess," Peter sighed. “I guess it would be _ too _easy if we could get to the castle without any other interruptions.”

"Eheheheh," Alphys laughed, clearly showing her embarrassment. "Heh..." Quickly, though, she straightened her posture and tried to look more confident. She succeeded, mostly. "But, ummm, don’t worry! Hopefully we won't run into him!" 

“I hope not,” Harry fretted. Dealing with living monsters was one thing, but somehow he felt like talking down an unfeeling robot would be a lot harder. Peter, doing his best to push the concerns from his mind, patted Harry on the shoulder and gave Alphys an encouraging smile.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he said. “Besides, he’s your creation, isn’t he? I bet you could handle him! We trust you, Doc.” 

Alphys looked incredibly surprised at this sentiment, physically starting and her eyes going wide. 

“R-Really…?” she asked in wonder. Then she shook her head rapidly, putting on a brave face and squaring her shoulders. “I mean, y-yeah! Definitely! No need to worry while I’m around, heh. Y-You’re safe with me!” She turned around and looked over her shoulder, nodding for the two to follow her. “C-C’mon, humans! We should probably get you on your way. Don’t want you to-” 

A loud clanging noise, harsh and ear-grating, came from just on the other side of the wall. Alphys, Peter, and Harry froze. The sound came again. 

"Did you hear something?" Alphys asked, trying to sound nonchalant. She failed. The sound happened a few more times, periodically growing louder and less spaced out. "Oh, no," Alphys whimpered. Peter and Harry shared another look.

_ Oh dear God. _

All of a sudden, a gigantic, jagged hole appeared in the wall, and every light in the lab suddenly went dark.

“What’s happening?!” Harry shrieked, blindly windmilling his arms in an attempt to find Peter or Alphys. The thought of being alone and disoriented in the pitch blackness was not a comforting idea.

From somewhere in the sea of black, a metallic, incredibly flirtatious voice said, "OOOOOH YES! WELCOME, BEAUTIES...TO TODAY'S QUIZ SHOW!" With a _ pop, _a blindingly bright spotlight appeared in the center of the room, illuminating the thing that had burst through the wall. It was a squat, gray, square robot balanced atop one wheel. Red and yellow lights arranged in a grid pattern made up what appeared to be the creature’s ‘face’, and there was a microphone held in one of his gloved hands. 

This was absolutely _ not _ what they had been expecting from Alphys’s killer robot. Something like Terminator, maybe, or like Ultron himself, but _ this _? This was perhaps the farthest thing they could’ve imagined, but...if this wasn’t Mettaton, there weren’t a lot of likely other options.

Mettaton waved enthusiastically to an unseen audience behind Peter and Harry. In the dim radius of light cast by the intense, focused spotlight, the boys could see Dr. Alphys standing a few feet from the whirring robot, looking nervous as all hell -- which wasn’t really out of the ordinary for her, it seemed, but this was clearly amplified. Oh, boy.

"Here we go," Peter muttered under his breath. It seemed it was time for their next round of ‘Don’t Get Killed’ to officially begin. He was starting to think that ‘easy’ was not a term that would ever fit their little Underground journey.


	38. Trivia Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaon's quiz show drives Peter and Harry a little batty. Thankfully, they have Alphys to help them out - as long as that doesn't backfire...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Just wanted to let you know that next week's chapter might be a little bit late, but as always, I'll be doing my best to get it as close to on-time as possible :) Enjoy!

"OH BOY!" Mettaton enthused. His voice was incredibly loud and rather effeminate; two things that reminded Peter and Harry of several popular celebrities from the Surface. The main difference was that RuPaul probably didn’t go around trying to kill and maim people. And also wasn’t a robot. "I CAN ALREADY TELL IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW!” the robot shouted. “Everyone give a big hand for our wonderful contestants!" 

He clapped politely, and some confetti rained down from the ceiling onto Peter and Harry. Harry scowled and shook the little paper bits out of his hair while Peter looked up, trying to see where it had come from. There was no trap door in the ceiling, as far as he could see. 

_ The hell? _

Maybe it was just One Of Those Underground Things.

Mettaton wheeled over to them at a startlingly fast pace, clapping his hands loudly.

"Welcome, welcome!!! We’re  _ so  _ glad to have you on board today!! Aren’t you excited?!” he asked, voice bubbling with uncontained enthusiasm. 

“Uhh, actually, I think we’ll skip it,” Peter said, taking a step back. The robot was seriously invading his personal space. “We don’t even know how to play! So, uh, probably better to find someone else for your show.” He grinned in what he hoped was a convincing way.

But this didn’t seem to deter Mettaton in the slightest. “Never played before, beauties? No problem! It's simple!” He waved one gloved hand. “There's only one rule. Answer correctly..." Mettaton's cheerful voice suddenly and jarringly turned dark and menacing, his screen of yellow lights suddenly switching to all red. " _ OR YOU DIE! _ " He cackled maniacally, as full of delight as any supervillain Peter had ever heard, and then in a split second he was back to his usual giddy self. “Now then! Let’s BEGIN!” 

Peter and Harry blinked, their faces pale. Well. Not only were they dealing with a diva killer robot; they were dealing with a diva killer robot who could turn from pleasant to petrifying at the drop of a hat. Great. 

“I really wanted to be done with this kinda thing,” Peter mumbled tiredly, brushing some hair back from his forehead. “But if this is the only way to get this guy to shut up, then I guess it’s trivia time.” Harry pouted, but nodded.

“Yeah. Let’s get this over with.” It couldn’t be  _ that  _ hard, right? It was just a quiz show. And Peter was a certified genius! They’d blast through his questions and show that snooty robot what was what in no time.

Alphys watched the chaos begin to unfold from her position behind Mettaton and bit her claws nervously. Suddenly, though, her eyes lit up with an idea -- one that would hopefully save her guests from an untimely quiz-related end. She scurried to stand more within view of Peter and Harry, but conveniently out of the robot’s field of vision, which wasn’t hard to do, considering his full attention was on the boys.

"Let's start with an easy one!" the robot said cheerfully. "What's the prize for answering correctly?" He began to project a screen from a hole in his body, and the flickering square showed four possible options: 'A. Money', 'B. Mercy', 'C. New car', and 'D. More questions'. 

Peter and Harry glanced at each other, both somewhat at a loss. Peter looked over the four options a few times, but he only managed to narrow it down to ‘mercy’ and ‘more questions’. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself to go with his gut and pray it was right,, but then he noticed Dr. Alphys frantically waving out of the corner of his eye. As soon as she caught his attention, she formed the letter 'D' with her hands and nodded urgently. 

Slowly, a smile spread across Peter’s face, although he did his best to quash it lest Mettaton catch on. "Uh...D?" he said hopefully. 

"Correct!" Mettaton shouted. "Sounds like you get it! Wonderful!!" 

Alphys gave them a silent thumbs up and grinned. That was all the confirmation they needed: Alphys was their ticket to winning this absurd trivia night. 

"Here's your prize!" Mettaton continued, clearly (and blessedly) oblivious to their little charade. With a flourish of the hand holding the microphone, he asked dramatically,"What's the king's full name?" The holographic screen changed to read ‘A. Lord Fluffybuns', 'B. Fuzzy Pushover', 'C. Asgore Dreemurr', and 'D. Dr. Friendship'. Peter glanced briefly to Alphys, and she made the shape of a 'C' with her hands. They probably would’ve been able to answer that one on their own, considering they’d heard the king’s name countless times, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

"C., Asgore Dreemurr," Peter stated confidently. 

"Correct!" gushed Mettaton. "What a terrific answer!" He wheeled in a celebratory circle. "Enough about you, though,” he drawled. “Let's talk about me! What are robots made of?" Peter and Harry had a feeling that if he’d had eyebrows, they would’ve been jumping up and down rapidly. The two shared an exasperated look. 

_ Great, he’s a narcissist, too.  _

This time, Harry looked discreetly at Alphys as Mettaton showcased the choices: ‘'A. Hopes and Dreams', 'B. Metal and Magic', 'C. Snips and Snails', and 'D. Sugar and Spice'. Alphys made the letter 'B' and inclined her head earnestly, and Harry straightened his back. 

"Oh, that’s easy. It's B!" He couldn’t help but puff his chest out and lift his chin as he said it. Mettaton thought he was all that, but Harry and his friend were going to show him that humans could be quite resourceful. (And even if that resourcefulness came in the form of cheating juuust this once, it still counted.) 

"Too easy for you, huh???" Mettaton asked pointedly. "Well, here's another easy one for you!" The robot then proceeded to ramble out a long, confusing, math-related question involving two trains leaving two different stations at different times. The question was so long and involved that even Peter had forgotten the beginning of it by the time Mettaton reached the end. The four answers now being projected were all very long strings of decimals. 

If Alphys hadn’t been helping them, they would’ve been in quite a pickle, and they knew it well. Luckily, Alphys  _ was  _ helping them, so getting the correct answer only required shifting their eyes behind Mettaton to the small yellow doctor, who was forming a D with both hands.

_ Thank God for lizard docs! _

"Ahh, I believe that would be D," Peter said with a not-so-subtle smirk. If Mettaton was irked, he didn’t show it. 

"WONDERFUL!” he shouted. “I'm astounded, folks! But don't 'count' on your victory… How many flies are in this jar?" He produced a jar (seemingly from thin air) that had hundreds of black flies buzzing around and bouncing off the sides. 

Peter bit his lip in uncertainty.  _ Uh-oh.  _ There was no way Alphys would be able to know the exact amount of flies in the jar Mettaton had just pulled out of his ass, right? And yet, sneaking a peek out the corner of his eye, he could see her confidently making an A. He had to stop himself from making any noises of surprise. How could she possibly know that?? He supposed she could be guessing, but she looked quite sure of herself, which she didn’t seem to be very often. 

_ Well, here goes nothing... _

"The answer's, uh...A. It’s A," Peter said, crossing his fingers hopefully at his side. 

"Correct!" Mettaton crowed. "You're  _ so  _ lucky today!!!" 

"Yeah, I guess we are,” said Peter, and he felt a somewhat disproportionate sense of confidence suddenly surge through him. But why not? They basically had this thing in the bag! “Got any more questions you wanna throw at us?" he asked cheekily. Mettaton laughed, sounding delighted. It wasn’t easy to rattle the guy, that much was for sure. 

"Oooh, certainly, darling!” he cooed. “Let's play a memory game. What monster is this?" He projected a small snippet of the left half of a Froggit's face. Oh, well, that one really  _ was  _ too easy; Peter and Harry weren’t likely to forget one of the first monsters they’d encountered on their journey. However, before Peter could proudly say 'A, Froggit,” Alphys hurriedly held up a 'D'. Peter blinked again.

_ Wait. What?  _

The answer for ‘D’ was Mettaton. That...That wasn’t Mettaton. That was clearly a Froggit. Why in the world would the answer be Mettaton?? He looked to Harry helplessly, asking his friend what to do with his eyes. Harry’s own eyes darted back and forth between the answers and Alphys, and then he subtly nodded past Mettaton’s shoulder. His advice was clear:  _ Go with Alphys.  _ Well...that probably was the best choice. She hadn’t been wrong before, had she? Even if it didn’t make sense, she wouldn’t purposely lead them astray. 

Still rather confused, Peter said hesitantly, "...D.? Mettaton?" 

"I'm so FLATTERED you remembered!" Mettaton gushed as the picture suddenly changed into a photo of Mettaton. Both boys could see Alphys slump slightly with relief behind the robot, and they silently thanked their good sense to have listened to her. "You’re doing wonderfully!” said Mettaton. “But can you get this one?" His tone became quite sly, and he leaned forward expectantly. "Would you smooch a ghost?" 

This one caught them both off guard, so much so that at first they could only offer an “Uh??” All of the offered answers were 'Heck Yeah'. They looked to Alphys for assistance, but this time she could offer none, seemingly as puzzled as they were. Well, shit. 

"Um...B?” Harry tried when several long moments had passed in silence. To everyone’s overwhelming relief, it seemed that this question was not the trick it seemed to be. 

“Great answer! I love it!!!" Mettaton shouted approvingly. The sound of canned audience cheers rang out through the lab, and the robotic host waited patiently for it to die down before continuing on. "Now, here's a simple one,” he said conversationally. “I’m sure you’ll get it. How many letters in the name Mettaton...nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-" 

Mettaton didn’t stop for a full thirty seconds. He just kept holding on that final ‘n’, extending the last syllable of his name nearly indefinitely, and certainly far past anyone’s capacity to count how many damnable letters were contained in it. To add insult to injury, the numbers that were displayed as the possible answers kept rapidly changing, constantly going up in value as he held on the ‘n’. 

Peter frantically looked to Alphys. If she’d had the answer to the fly jar question, surely she’d know this one, too? 

_ Please?? _

Thankfully, against all odds, it seemed she did. She held up her left hand in the shape of a C, and he quickly shouted, "C, it's C!" 

"Of course that was easy for you!" the robot lauded. "I should have known better.”

“Oh, thank God,” Peter muttered. 

”Alright, time to break out the big guns!” Mettaton declared. 

_ What could be bigger than that bullshit?  _ Harry thought grumpily. 

Mettaton cleared his throat and wiggled his fingers in anticipation. “In the dating simulation video game 'Mew Mew Kissy Cutie', what is Mew Mew's favorite food?" 

"...I'm sorry, what?” Peter asked. Mettaton clicked his tongue.

“You want me to repeat the question? Well, it’s against studio protocol, but for you, I suppose I can make an exception. In the dating simulation video game 'Mew Mew Kissy Cutie', what is Mew Mew's favorite food?" 

‘Mew Mew Kissy Cutie’ sounded more like the Americanized title of a magical girl anime than any video game Peter or Harry had ever heard of. And, indeed, they most certainly  _ hadn’t  _ heard of it, which put them at even more of a disadvantage for this particular question. It was a good thing they had Alphys to back them up. 

Just as Peter turned toward the doctor to get the answer, Alphys’s eyes suddenly got extremely wide. Her lip, which she’d been biting, suddenly curved into a huge smile as she jumped up and down, waving her hand. "OH! OH! I KNOW THIS ONE!" she shouted excitedly. “I KNOW!! It's Snail Ice Cream!!!!” Peter and Harry winced and tensed up. It was kind of like watching a train wreck: a horrible sight, but nothing to do about it except pray it ended halfway decent. Mettaton whirled around to face Alphys as the yellow lizard woman rambled on, apparently unaware of the fact that she’d just royally blown their cover. “In the fourth chapter everyone goes to the beach!! And she buys ice cream for all of her friends!! But it's snail flavor and she's the only one who wants it!!!! It's one of my favorite parts of the game because it's actually a very powerful-" 

Alphys’s pupils shrank to the size of dots as she suddenly realized that Peter, Harry, and Mettaton were all staring at her. Nervously, she began to trail off. "-message about friendship and..." Alphys gulped. “Um, oops.”

"Alphys, Alphys, Alphys," Mettaton tsked in great disappointment. "You aren't helping our contestants, are you?" 

Well, it seemed the jig was finally up. Peter, Harry, and Alphys wore similar sheepish grins, and the doctor shook her head quickly. “M-Me? Oh, n-no! No, I was just, um, I was-”

"Oooooh!" Mettaton said, obviously not buying it for a single second. "You should have told me. I'll ask a question...you'll be  _ sure  _ to know the answer to!" His voice had such a pleased tinge to it that Peter and Harry wondered just what kind of question he had in mind. From the way Alphys covered her mouth and frantically shook her head, it was probably not something she wanted anybody knowing. 

"Alright, humans,” Mettaton said, turning back to the boys. “Let’s see if you’ve been paying attention. Who does Dr. Alphys have a crush on?" 

Alphys waved frantically at them not to answer as Mettaton projected the choices: ‘A. Undyne', 'B. Asgore', 'C. The humans', and 'D. Don't know'.

_ Oooh boy.  _

Peter and Harry shared a reluctant look. Something like this, something so personal, really wasn’t their place to pry into, and it  _ certainly  _ wasn’t their place to reveal to a possible audience of who knows how many. And yet, deep inside, they understood that they wouldn’t be rid of Mettaton and his insufferable attitude until they completed his little trivia game. Despite their reservations, it looked like they’d have to put their new friend in the hot seat this time. Hopefully she would forgive them.

The question was, though, who  _ was  _ her crush? They’d only known her for a short while, and no talk of possible romantic interests had come up in conversation. It wasn’t likely she had a crush on the two of them, considering their very new friendship, so that one could be crossed off. ‘Don’t know’ was obviously not a smart idea to answer, so that was out of the question. That just left Asgore and Undyne: Alphys’s boss, and the captain of the Royal Guard. Which one was more likely? Either was possible, but only one was correct. 

Peter and Harry were plain stumped… That was, until Peter remembered several mentions that Undyne had made of Alphys during their altercation. Going off of context clues, Undyne seemed to know Alphys relatively well; perhaps even well enough for the doctor to have formed a sort of crush? Peter wouldn’t have expected or guessed it in a million years, but that was the best hunch they had to go off of. There was only one way to find out.

Taking a guess, he ventured, "...Undyne?" 

Alphys immediately turned tomato red and covered her face. Peter and Harry winced again, for once feeling ashamed for answering correctly rather than elated. 

"See, Alphys?" Mettaton asked knowingly. "I TOLD you it was obvious. Even the humans figured it out." He turned back to face the boys. "Yes, she scrawls her name in the margins of her notes. She names programming variables after her. She even writes stories of them together...sharing a domestic life. Probability of crush: 101 percent. Margin of error: 1 percent." 

“Oooooh my God,” Alphys mumbled behind her hands. 

“Was that really necessary?” Peter asked, crossing his arms. “I don’t think that was very fair.”

“Yeah, there’s no need to be an ass,” Harry huffed. 

Mettaton wheeled closer to them. "Well well well," he said smugly. "Not fair? I’ll tell you what’s not fair, darling. Cheating!! With Dr. Alphys helping you...the show has no dramatic tension! We can't go on like this!” 

“Well...we didn’t-”

“But. But!!!” Mettaton interrupted. “There’s no need to worry! This was just the pilot episode!!"

“P...pilot episode?” Peter squeaked.

"Oh, YES! Next up, more drama!" Mettaton exclaimed. "More romance! More bloodshed!” He gave Peter and Harry a dramatic wave, waggling his gloved fingers. “Until next time, darlings!" With that, he pulled his limbs inside his metallic body, and a small rocket appeared on his underside. Mettaton blasted off with a  _ whoosh _ , shooting through the lab at a lightning fast pace, leaving a very startled Peter and Harry alone with Alphys. 

The room was quiet for a while afterward, the lingering sound of the robot’s rocket lingering in their ears. Then, Dr. Alphys coughed, cleared her throat several times, and turned to them with a strained, cheery smile. "Well, that was certainly...something!" she said. 

“I...yeah,” Peter said, chuckling in sheer bewilderment. “It sure was something, Doc.”

"I don’t think I like Mettaton,” Harry said, shaking his head. “Dude gives me bad vibes.” 


	39. Getting An Upgrade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Mettaton finally gone (at least for now), Alphys upgrades Peter and Harry's phone, and Peter finally gets to fulfill his dream of speaking with the Underground's top scientist about his favorite science-y things. Woo!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so this is not late like I expected it to be! I am very pleasantly surprised with myself, haha. Also nEXT WEEK IS THE HALFWAY POINT HOLY SHIT GUYS-

When things had gotten a little more relaxed, Alphys coughed again. "Th-That final question… He wasn't s-supposed to ask that one," she said, embarrassed. Peter smiled sympathetically and leaned down, clapping a hand on her shoulder. 

"Hey, it's alright, Alphys," he said. "We won't tell anybody." He winked. 

Alphys’s stiff posture relaxed a bit, and returned the expression gratefully. 

“Th-Thanks...I appreciate it, heheh. That’s, um...not something I want to...uh.” She rubbed at the back of her neck. “I’d rather it not get out. S-She wouldn’t be interested anyway, and I-I wouldn’t want to make Undyne feel...weird.”

“Have you ever talked to her about it?” asked Harry. The very idea of such a thing seemed to make Alphys ill, her face suddenly draining of all color.

“A-Are you kidding?!” she squeaked. “I-I can’t  _ talk  _ to her about it! That’d be mortifying!”

“Then how do you know she wouldn’t be interested?” he prodded. “If you haven’t told her how you feel, there’s no way to know!”

“I-I already know,” Alphys insisted. “I j-just do, okay?” She sighed. “Undyne’s so  _ brave,  _ and  _ cool,  _ and  _ good,  _ and I’m just…” Alphys shook her head and shrugged her shoulders in feigned nonchalance. “Um, n-nevermind. It doesn’t matter, r-really.” 

The boys could tell just by looking at her that it did, in fact, matter; in fact, it clearly mattered quite a lot to Alphys. Part of them wanted to pursue the subject, maybe somehow convince their new friend to go after her crush... But they didn’t want to pry into where they had no business being. For now, at least, they’d let the whole thing drop. 

_ Maybe at a later time, though,  _ Peter thought,  _ we can set up a date or something.  _ That would, of course, depend on if they could get Undyne to stop hating their guts, which wasn’t likely...but hey, he could dream. Some way, somehow, he and Harry were going to be Alphys’s wingmen. And they were going to be the best damn wingmen ever.

Peter’s thoughts of epic wingman-ing were interrupted when Alphys said, “O-Oh, uh, hey, would you guys maybe wanna...e-exchange phone numbers? Th-Then...m-maybe… If you need help, I could..." She trailed off, looking bashful. Peter grinned and fished the phone Toriel had given them out of his pocket, presenting it to Alphys excitedly.

“Hey, great idea! Thanks, Doc!”

Alphys gleefully took the phone from him, but her expression turned into one of abject shock at the sight of the old flip phone. "Wh-Where'd you get this phone?!" she exclaimed. 

Peter and Harry glanced at one another rapidly. 

“Uhhh-”

"It's ANCIENT! It doesn't even have  _ texting _ ," Alphys said, shaking her head again, this time in exasperation. “Here, l-let me fix this up for you. W-Wait just a minute, please!" She hurried off, disappearing - oddly - into the sliding metal door that marked the bathroom. A few moments later, she came back holding an upgraded version of the phone -- it now more greatly resembled an iPhone than a Motorola. 

"Whoooa," the boys marveled. It probably shouldn’t have been that impressive, considering they’d seen their fair share of modern cell phones in their lives, but just the fact that Alphys had somehow transformed the phone Toriel gave them into  _ this  _ was more than awe-inspiring. 

_ Now that’s some Tony Stark-level tinkering.  _

"Here, I upgraded it for you!" she said cheerily. "It can do texting, it's got a keychain...I even signed you up for the Underground's number one social media site! Now we're  _ officially  _ friends!" she said, handing back the phone and blushing slightly as she chuckled. Her laughter may have lasted just a  _ tiny  _ bit too long, but Peter and Harry were far too caught up in wondering at their new phone that they thankfully didn’t notice the awkwardness. Alphys trailed off a few moments later, then swallowed.

"Uh...I'm going to the bathroom," she stammered. She turned and rushed off, and once again there was the  _ clang  _ of the sliding metal bathroom door. 

"This is awesome!" Peter exclaimed as he turned the phone over in his hands. "Texting’ll be a really helpful feature. And it’ll definitely be easier with a touch screen." He laughed. “Those tiny buttons on the flip phone were way too small for my sausage fingers.”

"I like the keychain," Harry said eagerly. “I wonder if Alphys has a charm we can put on.” 

“We’ll have to ask her!”

Peter slipped the phone back in his pocket and straightened up, turning to the space Alphys had been. "Alright! Now that we've got our new friend and our new phone, we can-” He paused as he belatedly realized that Alphys was not, in fact, still standing beside them. “Oh! Uh, oops.” 

“I think she went to the bathroom,” Harry said, nodding down the hall. “I guess when she gets back we’ll go ahead and get moving, huh?”

Peter looked thoughtful, and he nodded slightly. “Yeah… Hm.”

“What’s that look for?” Harry asked suspiciously.

“Whaddaya mean, buddy?”

Harry snorted. “I know that look. You’re thinking about something you probably shouldn’t, aren’t you?”

Peter shifted his weight. “Welllll…”

“I knew it!” Harry exclaimed. “What’re you scheming?”

“I’m not scheming!!” Peter yelped. “It’s nothing bad, I promise! I just…” He shimmied in place. “There’s so much stuff here in the lab that I wanna see. So many things that I could learn! And Alphys is busy in the bathroom, so we have a little extra time before we get going. Sooo…” He looked sheepishly at Harry.

“You wanna snoop in Alphys’s lab?” Harry asked, crossing his arms. “ _ Seriously,  _ Pete?”

“Not snoop!! Just...look!” Peter insisted. “I’m not gonna touch anything! O-Or do anything bad! I just think it’ll be a good and efficient use of everyone’s time, that’s all!”

“Why not just ask her to give us a tour when she gets back?”

“Ahh, I don’t wanna bother her,” said Peter, waving a hand. “Nobody likes an overeager fanboy. Besides, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind us just having a quick glance around! Pleeeease?”

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.” Harry shook his head. “I mean, what if there’s something she doesn’t want us to see? I mean, it’s not  _ just  _ her lab. I think she lives here, too. And I know you definitely wouldn’t want anyone checking out  _ your  _ house without your permission.” He raised his eyebrows insinuatingly. 

Peter opened his mouth to argue, but found he couldn’t. Harry was right. This was different from the labs at OsCorp; there, the Osborns’ living quarters were separated from the actual facilities. Alphys’s lab had no such separation. And going through someone’s personal quarters was a lot different than taking an unguided tour around an office building. 

“No, you’re right,” Peter sighed. “I guess I was so excited at the idea of finally seeing some monster science that I didn’t think of it that way. Sorry.”

Harry gave his friend a pat on the back and smiled encouragingly. “Hey, it happens. Don’t lose hope, though, okay? I bet Alphys would love to talk nerd shit with you when she gets back.” 

Peter laughed out loud. “Boy, I hope so. I’ve got a lotta questions I need answered.”

“Questions about what?” 

Both boys jumped about a foot off the floor as Alphys’s curious voice came out of nowhere. The lizard lady gasped and began to apologize quickly, stuttering, “O-Oh my gosh, I’m sorry!! I didn’t m-mean to scare you!!”

“Oh!! I-It’s okay, Alphys,” Peter assured you, laughing and wiping his brow. “We just didn’t see you, that’s all! You only startled us a little, heh.” Clearing his throat, he added, “And, uh, Har and I were just discussing how much I wanna pick your brain! Metaphorically, of course.” He laughed again, sheepishly. “See, I don’t think we got to talk about this earlier, but I’m something of a scientist myself! So possibly getting to talk with another like-minded person especially down here…” Peter clasped his hands hopefully. Alphys’s eyes had gotten big and wide as he spoke, and the corners of her mouth were turned all the way up. 

“Oh...Oh my God!!” she squealed. “O-Oh my God! R-Really?? You wanna...t-talk to me? About science? You’re...s-serious?”

“Oh, please,” Harry said, rolling his eyes with a smirk. “He’s been bursting at the seams the whole time we’ve been here. Do you think you might be able to indulge him, at least a little bit? Just so I don’t have to hear any pining on the way to the castle?”

Alphys grinned now, and her eyes sparkled behind her tiny glasses.

“O-Of course! I’d love to! Y-You don’t know how long it’s been since I-... Since someone wanted to l-listen to me ramble about science stuff,” she confessed, wringing her hands. 

“Alphys, I’m all ears,” Peter said intently, plopping himself down in the middle of the white floor. He arranged himself cross-legged and looked up at Alphys with a mixture of eagerness and awe, looking for all the world like an adoring school child at storytime. Alphys chuckled excitedly (and somewhat nervously) and sat down as well, placing her hands on her legs and clearly gearing up to launch into a lecture she’d only dreamed about.

As Peter and Alphys began their volley back and forth, Harry watched the two with a fond smile. It was nice to see two very similar souls connecting over a shared passion -- especially since Harry, though good with certain aspects of basic engineering, often got lost when trying to discuss more theoretical concepts with his friend. Dr. Alphys, he was certain, would be able to keep up with Peter, no problem. 

Harry joined Peter and Alphys on the floor and did his best to listen, though occasionally his mind wandered to the next leg of their journey that lay ahead. Hopefully, with Alphys’s guidance, it would be a much quicker and easier trip than their trek through Waterfall. Even with a killer robot on the loose.


	40. Stalled Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys struggles to call Peter and Harry as they start making their way through Hotland. Also, Harry hates conveyor belts and steam grates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANNND HERE IT IS, CHAPTER FORTY!!! We are now officially halfway through! ;U; I can't believe I've gotten this far. I owe so much to everyone who's read and supported this story along the way -- thank you so much, and I hope you continue to enjoy it as we enter the second half! <3

Peter and Alphys’s excited verbal sparring seemed to go on for ages. When Harry finally checked his watch after giving up on understanding what they were saying (something about thermonuclear power sources??), his eyes widened in surprise. He leaned over to Peter and gently tugged his sleeve before coughing purposefully.

“Hey, uh, sorry to interrupt you two Einsteins, but I think it might be time to hit the road.” He showed Peter his watch, and the spider-boy gasped lightly.

“Oh, wow! We- We were talking for a while, huh?” He chuckled sheepishly. Alphys made a similar noise, scratching at her neck.

“O-Oh, gosh, I-I’m sorry,” she said apologetically. “I d-didn’t mean to keep you so long! I guess I just got...c-carried away, heheh.” 

“I think we both did,” said Peter with a smile as he pushed himself up to his feet. “It was great to chat with you, Doc! I still can’t quite believe I got to talk with  _ the  _ royal scientist of the Underground.” He smirked. “Ava’s gonna be so jealous.”

Alphys’s face turned bright red again, and she twisted her tail in her hands as she pivoted one foot in place, very obviously flattered. “Oh...hhhgh...g-gosh,” was all she could murmur. She soon seemed to snap herself out of it and shook her whole body rapidly, looking up at the humans gratefully. “Um!! Th-Thanks, I mean.” 

She shuffled in a semi circle so that she was facing down the hall toward the door at the other end. “S-So, I guess you guys’re gonna go th-through Hotland now, huh?”

“That’s the plan,” Peter agreed. “Thanks again for offering to guide us! It’s probably a way better idea than us stumbling around by ourselves.”

“Yeah, that didn’t go so well in Waterfall,” Harry said. “Except maybe for finding Temmie Village.”

“N-No problem!” Alphys said, beginning to pad off down the hallway. “Come on, I-I’ll show you out. U-Unfortunately I can’t go with you, because, um…” She glanced around and chuckled nervously. “Um, I have to...watch over things here in the lab. B-But don’t worry!! I’ll guide you via phone calls! Whenever you need help, I-I’ll just call you and explain what to do. Sound good?” The three of them reached the exit just as she finished her explanation, and Alphys twiddled her fingers anxiously as she awaited their answer.

“That’s perfect,” Peter said with a cheery dip of the head. “We understand; you gotta hold down the fort! We’ll be just fine with phone calls.”

“Oh, g-great,” Alphys sighed, returning a relieved smile. “Awesome!! Got it.” Reaching her hand up, she said, “Um...i-it was great to meet you guys. I-I’m really glad that we...that we could talk! E-Especially about science. Maybe one day, when y-you’re not so busy, we could...um, talk about anime, too!” Her eyes glinted with cautious hope. “I-I’d love to binge my favorite series with you g-guys some time, uh, if you’re into it, that is.” 

“Sure!” enthused Peter. “I haven’t seen a ton of anime. It’d be fun to get into a new show.”

“I saw Sailor Moon as a kid,” Harry supplied. “That was a good one. I’m definitely down for more of that stuff!”

Alphys squealed for what was likely the third time, and then she slapped a clawed hand over her mouth (again, probably for the third time) and turned away. “Sorry, sorry,” she mumbled sheepishly, “I-I always get...carried away! But!! Th-Thanks for the interest!” She chanced a look over her shoulder. “I hope we can d-do that sometime.” 

“Totally,” Peter said, bending down to give her a friendly pat on her shoulder. “We’ll make it a date.” He paused and chuckled. “Well, not a  _ date,  _ but, you know. We’ll plan on it.” He offered her a wink. Alphys looked as if she wanted to say something from the way her face practically shone, but for whatever reason she decided to simply nod in return, rubbing her hair lightly. Then she picked herself up straighter and stepped aside, allowing the boys access to the door leading out to Hotland. 

“W-Well...I’ll see you, then,” she said, clasping her hands. “G...Good luck out there!” 

“Thanks, Alphys. But with you helping us out, I doubt we’ll need luck.” Peter grinned and gave the doctor a silly little salute; then, pushing his shoulders back in confidence, he led the way through the sliding door and out of the lab. Harry followed moments afterward, only hanging back for a second to give Alphys a little smile and wave goodbye. 

Though the boys couldn’t see it, Alphys watched them go with a smile of her own -- but there was a tinge of sadness behind her little round spectacles. Sadness, and also longing. Still, she knew she couldn’t mope; not when the humans were counting on her. So, she soon turned from the door and made her way back toward the heart of her lab to grab her phone...and hopefully work up the courage to actually call.

As soon as they stepped foot outside, before Peter could even say anything motivational for the journey ahead, their phone beeped. 

"Oh? Is that Alphys already?” Peter wondered. Examining the lit-up screen, Peter could see a status update from the Undernet, the social media site Alphys had signed them up for while upgrading their phone. The username indicated that it was Alphys who’d posted.

“What’s it say?” asked Harry.

“ _ Just realized I didn't watch Undyne fight the humans v.v _ " Peter recited, pronouncing the emoji as “vee-vee”. 

“I think I’m okay with that,” Harry said with a slight snort. “I imagine we must've looked like wild animals during that whole thing.” 

Just then, Alphys’s status updated again. 

“Another one?” said Harry curiously. 

Peter nodded, and he read out, " _ Well I know she's unbeatable, I'll ask her about it later ^.^". _

“I wonder if she’ll tell her that we saved her life,” sniffed Harry. “Or maybe she’ll conveniently leave that part out.”

“Hey, come on, Har,” Peter chided. “I still think there’s a chance we got through to her with that simple act of kindness.” He spread his hands out, palm-up, and tilted his head forward with brows raised. “Don’t you think so?”

“I don’t know,” his friend mumbled, crossing his arms lightly across his chest. “Maybe. Like I said before, I’d just find it hard to believe. I wish I had your boundless optimism.”

“Don’t worry, buddy. I have enough to share!” He strode forward and waved Harry on, still holding the phone in his right hand. He figured he’d keep it out rather than slip it back in his pocket, just in case Alphys updated again or decided to call them. This turned out to be a good decision, as they’d only taken about five steps when the phone pinged with another update.

_ "For now I gotta call up the humans and guide them =^.^=" _ . 

"Guess we'll be getting a call soon,” Harry noted. “Which is probably a good thing, considering we’re very quickly approaching  _ that  _ mess.” He pointed across the way. Peter followed his finger and jolted when he noticed the sprawling, intertwined maze od conveyor belts that awaited them.

“Oh, geez. Yeah, we’d better ask her which ones to take.”

Another ping.

“Is she calling?” Harry asked hopefully. Peter checked the phone and shook his head. “Nope, another status update. It says,  _ ‘Gonna call them in a minute!!! =^.^=’ _ " The spider-boy laughed lightly. “Maybe she hates making phone calls as much as I do. I recognize stalling when I see it.”

“I hope not,” Harry said. “I mean, I get it, I hate calls too, but we kinda need her help.”

“Maybe she could text instead?” Peter suggested as he bent down to get a better look at the conveyor belts. “Hmm...y’know, maybe we could try on our own first, and if we need any help we’ll ask Alphys.”

“You just said we should wait for her!!”

“Yeah, but I mean...they’re just conveyor belts, right? We can always take one back to the start if we get messed up!” He stood back up and examined the puzzle of conveyor belts intently, tracing each one’s path with his eyes, trying to figure out which was the best to take. 

“Pete,” Harry whined. 

“It’ll be  _ fiiine _ .” 

Hesitantly, he stepped onto one of the rolling belts. Peter barely had time to plant his other foot beside the first before the contraption zipped him far faster than he would've liked to the other end. 

“aaaAAAAAHH!!!”

The ride, at the least, was mercifully short, and he stumbled onto solid ground about five seconds later. A little bit dazed, and his stomach having been left somewhere back on the conveyor belts, Peter turned and gave Harry a woozy thumbs up. “I-I’m okay!” he called. “Just a little...f-faster than I thought, heh!” He lifted a hand to his forehead and tried not to turn greener than he already felt. “Ough.” 

Harry tilted his head back and groaned. He hated super fast things…

But, of course, he really had no choice. So he braced himself, centered his gravity as best he could, and stepped onto the same conveyor belt. Just like Peter, he was whisked to the other side at a dizzying pace. 

“Oh, God,” Harry said as he covered his mouth with his hand. “I don’t think I can take much more of this.” 

“It doesn’t look like there are any more,” Peter told him, “at least for now.” Finally feeling his stomach settle back in its proper position, the boy clapped his hands once. “Come on, let’s see what else this place has in store for us!”

A long path made of interlocking pipes stretched out directly in front of them, and they ventured on across it (silently thanking the universe that they weren’t conveyor belts). Coming back onto solid land, they soon came across another yellow star, and Peter tapped it lightly. 

"The whooshing sound of steam and cogs...it fills you with determination," said the voice. And, sure enough, the landscape in front of them was incredibly reminiscent of some kind of factory. Way, way off in the distance, the boys could just make out a gigantic machine spewing smoke and steam up towards the top of the cavern.

“Wow,” Peter whistled softly. “This is so cool. It’s like the machines are built into the land itself.”

“I wonder what the purpose is,” Harry mused. 

“I’m not sure. That big thing over there looks like it must be pretty important, though.” Perhaps they’d be able to discover more about Hotland’s inner workings when Alphys called.  _ If  _ she called. 

At that moment, as if it had read Peter’s mind, their phone updated with another status. 

" _ I HATE USING THE PHONE I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS LMAO ^.^ _ " was the message. Ah, so nerves was what it was. Just as they’d thought.

“Can you message her?” asked Harry, poking his head over Peter’s shoulder to read the update. “Like, tell her it’s okay if she just wants to text instead? I feel bad, because calls suck, but I definitely don’t wanna be stuck out here without her guidance.” He nervously looked ahead, where a series of wide, flat pillars led off in various directions. On top of each pillar was a grate blowing short, intermittent bursts of steam. From what he could see, the ground around the pillars was nonexistent -- it was just a straight shot down into the darkness. The thought of rushing blindly into that confusing mess made his stomach turn.

_ If there’s any time for Alphys to call, it’s now!  _

“Maybe that’s a good idea,” Peter said absently as he walked toward the ledge. There was another, similar grate at the end of it, and he bent down to take a look. “Lemme just check this first.” 

Harry let out a strangled yelp as his friend leaned over to check out the vent. “Pete, what are you doing?! Don’t put your  _ face  _ near it!” he shrieked. 

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” Peter said nonchalantly over his shoulder. “I’m not going too close.”

Harry put his hands to his head and sighed worriedly. If Peter got his face melted off by searing steam, it was going to be entirely  _ his  _ fault. Harry had warned him, and if he didn’t listen, that was all on him. 

That didn’t mean Harry wouldn’t freak out and cry if it happened, though.

Thankfully, Peter kept true to his word, staying a good few inches back from the vent and simply watching as it puffed out white clouds every so often. He looked from the grate, to the pillar a few feet away, and then back to the grate on the ledge. Then he stood up, swiveled his head to take in the whole layout once more, and nodded as if making a decision. 

“Hang back, Har, I’m gonna try something.”

Harry’s head snapped back around from where he’d been looking back at the lab. “What? What the hell are you-”

Peter took a small breath and stood over the grate. As soon as he stepped foot on it, he was tossed high into the air and completely over the gap in the pathway. He screamed rather loudly, not having expected the sudden jolt, and landed with a thud on the pillar closest to the ledge. Once he scrambled back to his feet, though, he felt a wide grin break out over his face. He pumped his fist and crowed, “ _ Woooo!!  _ Hypothesis correct!” 

"Holy shit!” Harry ran to the end of the ledge, skidding to a halt just before the grate. “Pete, are you gonna do this  _ every  _ time we come across stuff like this in Hotland? Just run headfirst into danger on a theory?”

“Aw, come on! I’m fine, Harry! See?” Peter held his arms out straight and did a quick spin. Then he winced lightly and rubbed his tailbone. “Well, uh, besides a bruised coccyx. But I think we can adjust the way we stand so that we land differently from now on.” He smiled and motioned for his friend to come over. “Just stand on the grate and crouch down a little, so you’re not so stiff when it launches you.”

“There’s no way I’m doing that,” Harry said in a deadpan voice. 

"But it’s the only way across! The ceiling’s too high for me to anchor a web to safely.”

Harry bit his lip and looked down at the grate. “But...But I…”

“Hey, Harry. I wouldn’t ask you to do something that’s not safe, remember?” Peter looked at him imploringly. “I’ll be right here to catch you if you fall in a funny way. Okay?”

Harry hemmed and hawed for another minute or so before hanging his head, relenting. “Ugh. Fine.”

Reluctantly, he approached the grate until just the tips of his shoes were touching it. Then, closing his eyes briefly and silently muttering a prayer, he stepped on fully and just barely remembered to bend his knees before he was treated to the same airborne ride as Peter. 

“ _ WAHHHHH!! _ ”

He was completely prepared to feel and  _ hear  _ a painful thunk upon landing, but it seemed that Peter’s adjustments had actually worked -- his position allowed his body to land much more naturally, and when he opened his eyes again (they’d been closed in terror), he found that he was crouched low on the platform beside Peter. 

“Hey, look at you!” Peter chuckled. “You did it! Just like I knew you could!”

Slowly and shakily, Harry stood fully upright and checked himself over. Finding no broken bones or sore spots, he sighed in abject relief. “Thank God.” Shaking his head in disgust, he muttered, “I’m so glad that’s over. That was scary as hell.” 

Peter smiled sympathetically and jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Hate to break it to you, pal, but we got a couple more vents to hop. Sorry.” Harry immediately cringed. He’d forgotten about those. 

“Well...I guess we have no choice,” he said defeatedly. “Lead on.”

“We got this, bud, no worries.”

Peter gave his friend a comforting pat on the back before turning to the next grate. This time, he was extremely pleased to land somewhat steadily on his feet; a good thing, since his tailbone was still throbbing a bit from the first awkward landing. He and Harry continued on like this, hopping from platform to platform using the many grates and making smooth landings 9 times out of 10 (Harry had psyched himself out during one hop and accidentally banged his shin on the ground), until they got another status update from Alphys. Pausing to check the phone, Peter read aloud, " _ Omg I've had my claw over the last digit for 5 minutes. Omg I'm just gonna do it, I'm just gonna call!!!! _ " 

“Is this it? The moment of truth?” Harry said hopefully. 

“Come on, Alphys,” Peter said encouragingly to the phone. “You can do it!!”

Sure enough, moments later, their phone actually rang. Beaming, Peter immediately picked it up. "Hello?" 

However, the person calling - presumably Alphys - hung up before he could even get the word out. Blinking, he took the phone away from his ear and looked down at it. "Oh," Peter said. 

"What happened?" Harry asked. “What’s wrong? Was it her?”

"She hung up,” explained Peter. “I guess she's not ready yet." Peter felt pretty bad about the whole calling thing; he definitely understood what it was like to have to make an important phone call and constantly stall it. But Alphys really didn’t have anything to worry about -- this was them they were talking about! Peter and Harry! They were possibly the least intimidating people she could call. Then again, it often wasn’t about the  _ person  _ being called (although that did certainly factor into it at times), it was about the very idea of speaking to someone and not being able to read social cues. There was a science behind many fears that people deemed ‘irrational’, and the fear of phone calls was no different.

Still, he really did hope she ended up calling, even just so they could speak to her again. 

Figuring that they might as well keep moving until Alphys called for real, the two boys launched off another grate, and when they landed they found themselves clear of the maze of pillars. As soon as Harry realized that there would be no more grate-hopping, he slumped with pure relief.

“Ohh, please, please, let that be it,” he cried, falling to his knees and reveling in the solid ground beneath them. “I can’t take any more grates. Please, that’s gotta be it!”

“I think that’s all for now,” Peter chuckled, leaning down to pat Harry’s back again. “Good job, buddy! You made it through.” 

As Harry got back to his feet, their phone suddenly started to ring again. With lightning speed, Peter picked it up and held it to his ear. "Hello? Alphys?" His voice was filled with eagerness and hope.

"Uhhh! H-Hi!" Alphys stuttered. Just hearing her speak made him smile with gratitude. He had begun to worry they wouldn’t hear her voice again for quite a while. "So, listen, the blue lasers. You see them?" Alphys then seemed to remember her manners, and her tone became embarrassed. "Uhhh, I mean, Alphys here! Hi!" 

"Hey!" Peter said happily. "We’re so glad you called!" 

"Oh...oh...r-really?" she asked, sounding surprised. 

“Yeah! We were a little worried that maybe you wouldn’t,” he laughed. 

“Oh, s-sorry!!” Alphys yelped. “I’m r-really sorry. I-It’s not that I didn’t want to talk to you!! I just, um, I have...h-have a lot of trouble with, um, calling people in general. Heheh…”

“Hey, it’s okay! No problem,” Peter assured her soothingly. “We just wanted to make sure we didn’t lose contact, that’s all! Thanks for reaching out. We appreciate it.”

There were muffled noises on the other line, as if Alphys was trying to stifle herself. Then, she hurriedly blurted out, "S-So, the lasers!!”

“Right!” Peter looked down the path they’d landed on and confirmed that there were several lasers of two different colors stretching across a segment of it. The blue lasers appeared to be moving, while the orange ones were stationary. “Yeah, we see them. What’s up?”

”Ahh, the blue lasers won't hurt you if you don't move!” Alphys said. “O-Orange ones, um...y-you have to be moving, and they...um, they won't, um..." She couldn't seem to find the right words. "Move through those ones!" she said finally.

Peter listened, making sure to memorize everything she said. “Move through orange, stay still for blue. Alright, got it! Thanks!" 

“No p-problem!” There was a short, awkward pause. Then Alphys stuttered, “Uhh...bye!" and hastily hung up. Peter chuckled a bit and put the phone away. 

“Alright, Har, here’s the deal. We gotta walk through the orange lasers and let the blue ones pass over us. That’s what Alphys said.”

"Oh, like Papyrus' blue attack!" Harry exclaimed suddenly. “The blue ones ended up passing right through us when we stayed still. I guess that’s, like, a thing in the Underground, huh?” 

Peter, recalling the nature of the attack, hummed thoughtfully and nodded. "Hey, yeah! I bet it's exactly like that." He wondered if Alphys would be able to explain why that was. Maybe he’d ask her next time she called. 

For now, though, there was only one thing to do. Facing the ongoing path, Harry and Peter stepped up as close as they could go without actually touching the first laser. “Okay, then.” Harry rolled his neck and cracked his knuckles, mentally preparing himself for sprinting and dodging through a field of lasers. “Let’s do this.”


	41. 'Galaga' but Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With more of Alphys's help, Peter and Harry get past some puzzles (which are strangely reminiscent of arcade games) and open another set of doors. Also, Peter gets called a nerd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If my calculations are correct, next chapter should be an especially fun one. Get ready :3c

As Peter and Harry prepared to begin the short gauntlet through the lasers, Alphys updated her status again. Stopping just short of the first laser, Peter quickly looked down to check what she’d said. He couldn’t help but smile lightly at the contents.

" _ OMG I DID IT!!! Claws haven't shook like that since Undyne called me to ask about the weather...v.v" _ . 

Slipping the phone back into his pocket again, his attention returned to the task at hand. Peter gestured for Harry to follow him, then took a deep breath and walked through the orange laser directly in front of them. He couldn’t stop himself from flinching reactively as he did, but just as Alphys had said, moving through the orange one had yielded no harm. That was a relief!

They walked right through the second one without any problems, just the same as the first, and that was when the first blue laser came into range. 

“This one might be a little tricky,” Peter noted. “But not tricky! It’ll just take some more thought, that’s all.” He motioned for Harry to stay back a ways, then edged closer to the blue laser as it methodically slid back and forth along a short, set path. Once he figured he was about halfway in its path, he stood stock still and waited. Sure enough, the laser passed right over him, harmlessly, and continued on its way. As soon as it cleared him, Peter jumped a few steps forward so that he was no longer in its course, then turned around and waved to Harry excitedly. “Hey, it worked!!”

Seeing Peter face the blue laser with no consequences, Harry felt emboldened enough to try it himself. He copied Peter’s steps as closely as possible, and was rewarded when he, too, was passed through by the beam of energy. 

“It worked,” he panted as he raced to Peter’s side. “It worked!!” He looked completely thrilled. 

“See? No problem!” Peter said, grinning. “C’mon, we’ll clear these in no time.”

It took around five minutes for Peter and Harry to get past all the lasers. The orange ones, of course, were no issue, and even the blue ones weren’t too daunting once they got the rhythm down. When they finally reached the end of the path, Peter saw a fairly obvious button on the wall. A quick press deactivated the lasers behind them.

"We did it!" he cheered. "Not a scratch on us. I think we're getting better at these puzzle things every time.”

A  _ ping  _ sound from their phone prompted both boys to jolt. 

“Oh! That’s probably Alphys again,” said Peter, grabbing the phone from his pocket. Aloud, he read, " _ WAIT THERE'S NO WEATHER DOWN HERE WHY DID SHE CALL ME _ .” 

They couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“I’m starting to think this crush might not be so one-sided,” Harry said with a smirk. “Maybe it won’t be as hard to set them up as we thought.” 

“Undyne and Alphys,” hummed Peter thoughtfully. “I never would’ve thought of it before the whole thing in the lab. They seem like such opposites.” He shrugged with a smile. “Then again, I guess opposites attract!” 

In the brief time they’d been conversing, Alphys made another status update. This one said, " _ Oh my God I forgot to tell them where to go _ ”

Literal seconds later, another one popped up: " _ CUTE PIC OF ME RIGHT NOW ^.^" _ This one was indeed accompanied by a picture, which showed a frilly garbage can with several pink, glittery filters over it.

"Oh, Alphys,” Peter said sympathetically, shaking his head with an exasperated little laugh. He was no stranger to beating up on himself, but that didn’t mean he wanted to watch his friends do the same. They’d have to have a serious heart-to-heart about self-esteem some time. Although, again, considering Peter’s track record, maybe he wasn’t the best person for the job. 

“Should we keep going?” Harry asked. “It  _ is  _ true that we don’t know where to go, but she might not call back for a while.”

“Yeah,” Peter agreed, “we could probably start go-” 

And then the phone rang.

“Well! That solves that quandary,” Peter laughed. He pressed ‘accept’ and held the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"A-A-Alphys here!" came the wavering voice. "Th...The northern door will stay locked until you...s-solve the puzzles on the right and left! I...I think you sh-should g-g-go to the right first!" She sounded winded, as if those few short sentences had taken a lot out of her. 

"Okay, awesome! Tha-” But Alphys had already hung up before "thanks" could leave his mouth. Shrugging with another little laugh, he pocketed the phone. "That-a-way," he declared, pointing to the right. 

"Alright, let's do it.” 

The two used another steam grate to hop on over to the right, then walked a short way to the end of the path. There they were met with another blue laser, stationary this time, and behind that blue laser was a door. Two monsters dressed in what appeared to be school uniforms were leaning up against the wall by the door, idly chatting and checking their phones every few minutes.

“Uh-oh,” Peter said. “That laser’s not moving. How’re we supposed to get past it if we have to stay still?” 

Right on cue, Alphys called again. They had to admit, she was definitely getting better with timing. 

"Yello?"

"Alphys! Here!" the doctor said quickly. "Th-That blue laser seems totally impassable! B-B-But! As the Royal Scientist, I h-have some tricks up my sleeve! I'll h-hack into th-the Hotland laser database and take it out!" 

"Whoa! Like a spy! Super cool,” Peter enthused. “Thanks, Alphys!" 

Alphys hung up, and he and Harry waited patiently. Within just thirty seconds, the blue laser promptly turned off, allowing them clear passage to the other side. The two monsters were now looking back and forth between the laser and each other and murmuring to themselves.

"Hey, you can go home now," Peter called to them cheerfully. "The laser's gone!" 

The monster on the left turned to face him, looking slightly surprised to hear another person’s voice. Peter thought she looked an awful lot like Grillby, except whereas his flame head was a more standard orange, this monster was a vibrant pale green. “Oh! Yeah, we just saw,” she said. “That’s good, I guess.”

“You guess?” Harry asked incredulously. 

“Okay, listen,” she said. “We were hanging out when suddenly, a buncha puzzles reactivated out of nowhere. We thought that, since we were stuck here and there were lots of puzzles around, they’d cancel school over it!” She sighed and gestured to the now non-existent laser. “But I guess that dream is over, now.”

The other monster, a purple creature with tentacle-y hair, patted her friend on the shoulder. "Hey, come on, it’s not so bad!” she insisted. “At least we’re not trapped here anymore! Now that we're free, we can..." She trailed off, then shrugged. "Well, uh, I guess we'll just keep standing here. I don’t really feel like going to school today anyway."

Peter and Harry shared a bewildered look, then shrugged imperceptibly. If they wanted to play hooky, it wasn’t like they could stop them. Besides, considering that several other puzzles were still active, maybe the school would end up cancelling for the day after all. 

“Oh, uh, okay,” Peter said, heading on past the two monsters toward the door. “Have fun with that!” 

After a quick cursory scan around the area to make sure there was nothing else of interest, Peter and Harry pushed the door open. Inside they found a seemingly simple puzzle, very reminiscent of the old arcade game  _ Galaga.  _ Only, unlike  _ Galaga _ , the enemies were boxes. And they didn’t advance. And some of them could be moved by the player.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t really like  _ Galaga _ .  _ _

Luckily, Peter’s  _ Galaga  _ and other arcade skills translated pretty decently to this particular puzzle, and it was easily beaten in about three minutes. 

“Wow, nice job,” Harry said. “That might have been the easiest puzzle yet!”

“You’re telling me!” Peter said with a grin as he sauntered out the door. “At this rate, we'll make it to the castle in no time!" They made their way back to the left path, which thankfully was not blocked by any errant lasers, and came across two more monsters sitting by the edge of it. One of them looked like a cow dressed up in a snazzy purple business suit, and the other appeared to be made of black smoke with sunglasses perched on their...well, not  _ nose,  _ but their face.

“You guys okay over here?” asked Peter. The cow monster glanced up from his phone.

"Yeah, we’re fine. The way to work is blocked, so I had time to catch Mettaton's show on my phone,” he said, "The special effects were amazing today! Those humans almost looked REAL!" 

Another look passed between the boys, sweat beading on their foreheads. 

“Oh, uh...heh, y-yeah! That was...pretty impressive,” Peter chuckled nervously. 

"Of course," the monster continued, "an experienced viewer like me knows CGI when they see it..." 

"Oh, yeah," Harry agreed quickly. "We could tell, too. I mean, humans haven’t been down here in ages! Haha! Hah…" 

_ Stop talking stop talking stop talking,  _ he admonished himself.  _ You’re babbling, idiot.  _

The other monster, who’d apparently been eavesdropping, chimed in, "Mettaton? I love that guy! He's the most popular star in the Underground!”

“Really?” They found it a little hard to believe that a guy like  _ that  _ could actually draw an audience. Then again, some people enjoyed egotistical types.

“Oh, yeah! His fan club probably has at least two...no, THREE dozen members!" the monster said. 

The boys had to stifle a sudden laugh. Sure, it made sense considering the overall population of monsters, but it didn’t make it any less hilarious. Peter would’ve liked to see the pompous rectangle go head to head with a heartthrob like Brad Pitt. Maybe that’d knock him off his perch just a bit.

"Wow," Harry said, still doing his best not to snicker. "That's, uh...pretty impressive." 

A small  _ ping  _ alerted them to the fact that Alphys had updated her status again. 

" _ Wonder if it would be unfun if I explained the puzzle... _ " 

“If she’s referring to these two,” Peter said, making his way toward the left path’s door, “I think she’ll be pleasantly surprised to find that we’ve totally got this in the bag already.”

Through the next door they found another arcade-style game, along with a floating fox head monster wearing sunglasses. The monster looked incredibly puzzled, bobbing around the controls for the puzzle in a semi circle and muttering under their breath.

“Hey, buddy,” Peter greeted, heading to the controls. “Everything okay?”

"The door leading through the area is closed? So I tried the puzzle?” said the fox head. They had a very unique cadence to their voice. It was almost like a valley girl, where every single sentence popped up like a question at the end. “But I kept running out of ammo, and it kept restarting? And my two coworkers won't help?” They let out a frustrated grunt. “It's like they don't even wanna go to work?" 

Peter hummed in sympathy. "Hey, well, don’t worry,” he told them. “I'll solve it for you, no problem!" True to his word, Peter worked his mastery at the controls, rearranging boxes and making a clear path to the goal. Once he’d finished, he cracked his knuckles and spread his arm out toward the completed puzzle. “Ta-da!” 

The fox head monster seemed amazed. "Wow? You solved it? I'm impressed?” they said. 

“Hey, thanks!”

“You must be a total nerd?" they added. Peter gaped, and behind him Harry burst out laughing. Several seconds later, Peter began to laugh, too. He was certainly in no position to debate it.

“Yeah,” he said, smirking and bowing his head in admission. “Yeah, I definitely am.” He took the still-cackling Harry’s arm and tugged him along. “C’mon, laughs-a-lot, we have places to be.”

The two headed back out to the main path, Harry’s laughing finally dying down once they did. “Sorry,” he said, gasping a couple of times to replenish his air supply. “It was just...such perfect timing. And such a perfectly true statement.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Peter playfully jostled Harry with his hip. “Alright, time to get moving.”

A short hop across another gap brought them to a set of large, heavy purple doors. The sight of them brought memories of the moment they left the Ruins rushing back, and Peter felt a sharp twinge of sadness in his gut. 

Two green lights glowed on the doors, symbolizing the two completed puzzles, and they slowly opened before Peter and Harry. When they had fully opened, the boys looked at each other. 

"Well, onto the next part of Hotland," Harry said, looking into the opening. Peter nodded.

“Yep.”

He didn’t know what lay beyond those doors, but he  _ did  _ know that it would bring them closer to the castle, and that’s what mattered the most. With Alphys’s help, they were breezing through Hotland, so it was only a matter of time. And when they finally made it…

Peter swallowed despite himself. They could only hope they’d learned enough, and were savvy enough, to negotiate with the king. But, again, there was no use dwelling on that now. With a deep breath, they headed through the purple doors.


	42. Cooking with a Killer Robot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Against their will, Peter and Harry are recruited to be the 'lovely assistants' on Mettaton's cooking show, 'Cooking with a Killer Robot'. It goes about as well as expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, that Mettaton. What a wily guy!!

On the other side of the doors, the long, winding path continued to stretch on through Hotland. Harry breathed a quiet, involuntary sigh of relief. He’d almost been expecting some big, important change in environment or something, considering the doors themselves seemed big and important, but it appeared that they just marked a new section of the current area. Good to know.

They’d only taken a few steps past the doors when Alphys updated her status: " _ Whatever!!! I'll just explain it!!! _ " And then the phone rang.

"Hey, Alphys!" Peter greeted. “What’s the word?”

"Uuuh, I think...umm..." She stuttered a few unintelligible things, and then finally she said, "Hey! About the puzzles on the left and right...! They're a bit difficult to explain, but..." 

"Oh!! Funny story about those, actually, it’s kinda crazy,” Peter laughed. “We solved them already!” Harry nodded proudly, though obviously Alphys couldn’t see through the phone.

There was a pause on the other end.

"Uhh, you already s-solved them?” Alphys asked hesitantly. 

“Heh, yeah,” Peter said, puffing his chest out. “What can I say? I'm a pro at  _ Galaga _ ." 

There was another pregnant pause, and then Alphys said, “Oh… A-Awesome...!" And then she abruptly hung up. Slightly puzzled, but attributing her rather awkward goodbye to her trouble with phone calls, Peter put away the phone and turned back to Harry, who was already gazing down the road.

“What’s next? See anything?” Peter asked.

“Looks like another gap,” Harry said, gesturing to a steam grate at the end of the path. He pouted. “Unfortunately.”

“Ahh. Our old nemesis.”

They each hopped across the small gap using the power of the grate (and Harry grumbling all the way), and when they reached the other side they continued on their way. Strangely, the next room was dark --  _ extremely  _ dark. Much darker than any place in Hotland had been before.

"Whoa, who turned out the lights?" Peter wondered. 

The ringing of their phone startled him into suddenly bumping into Harry, who yelped.

“Ahhh!!!” Harry squealed.

“Ah!! S-Sorry!” Peter apologized. “I can’t see a damn thing! Not even my own hand…” He stuck his tongue out in concentration and haphazardly fished around for the phone in the blackness. When at last his fingers managed to tug it from his pocket, he squinted in the brightness of the screen before hitting ‘accept’.

“Alphys?”

"Yeah!! Uhh… H-Hey, it's kind of dark in there, isn't it?" she said. 

"I'll say! Think you can help us out?" asked Peter hopefully.

Alphys' voice gained a more determined edge when she next responded. "Yeah! Don't worry!” she said, noticeably speaking without a single stutter. “I'll hack into the light system and brighten it up!" She went silent for a minute, and a few moments later, the lights came on. 

“Woo! Thanks, Alphys!” Peter said gratefully, turning his head forward again and gearing up to take his next few steps. “Now, if we could just-”

Peter stopped dead in his tracks again once he saw what lay ahead of them. Harry’s eyes had already gone wide and confused, and Peter’s expression matched his nearly identically. Absurdly, the two boys found themselves standing in what appeared, for all intents and purposes, to be the middle of a television cooking show set -- complete with a counter, stove, fridge, and pristine tile floor. 

"What in all hell?” Harry murmured.

Peter couldn't answer; he just slowly shook his head, mystified. Their friend, however, seemed to have an innate knowledge of what was about to happen, as she sucked in air suddenly through her teeth.

"Oh no," Alphys said in a small voice. 

Suddenly, popping up from behind the counter came none other than Mettaton, dressed now wearing a puffy white chef’s hat atop his rectangular head. 

"Ohh, not  _ him _ ," Peter and Harry moaned together. 

"OOOHHHHH YES!!!" Mettaton exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air. "Welcome, Beauties, to the Underground's premier cooking show!!! 'Cooking with a Killer Robot'!!!" The lights briefly flashed in a quick, jaunty pattern before steadying once again as canned applause filtered into the room.

"Great," Peter mumbled weakly. “I always wanted to go on daytime television.”

"Fantastic!!” Mettaton crowed. He turned to the cameras positioned at the edge of the set, which Peter and Harry assumed were broadcasting their entire predicament to every monster in the Underground. Perfect. Just perfect. "Pre-heat your ovens, because we've got a very  _ special  _ recipe for you today! We're going to be making...a cake!" 

Peter and Harry glanced at each other. Cake, huh?

"Uh...well...that doesn't sound so bad," Harry said cautiously. 

“I like cake,” said Peter.

"Oh, you’re going to  _ love  _ this one,” the robot purred. Turning back to the cameras again, he explained in his effortless showman’s voice, “My lovely assistants here will gather the ingredients! Everyone give them a big hand!" He clapped politely, and more recorded cheers played through hidden speakers as confetti rained down on the two boys. 

“Hold on, hold on,” Peter said quickly, brushing the paper strips out of his hair. Did he have to pull out the confetti every time? “We did NOT agree to be your ‘lovely assistants’. In fact, as much as I love cake, I think we’re gonna be go-”

"Oh, come now, don’t be modest!” Mettaton exclaimed, wheeling over and steering Peter and Harry over behind the counter while they protested loudly. “You’ll do wonderfully! Now, we'll need sugar, milk, and eggs. They’re over on that other counter there.” He gestured behind them.

“Yeah, but we don’t  _ wanna  _ help-”

"Go for it, sweethearts!!" Mettaton gave them both a hearty shove, sending them stumbling up against the opposite counter. 

“Ack! Why, you,” Harry grumbled through gritted teeth. Though they considered, for a moment, storming off (or at least trying to), they were already there at the counter; if Mettaton absolutely  _ insisted  _ on them helping with his stupid cake, maybe it would be a good idea just to swallow their annoyance and go along with it. If they did that, then he’d probably let them go, right? 

_ Yeah, wishful thinking,  _ Peter thought sourly. Still, playing his little game was the best option they had, so Peter pinched the bridge of his nose and gave a long sigh before grabbing the carton of milk and bag of sugar. Harry took the egg carton, carefully ensuring that none spilled onto the ground and shattered. Mettaton probably wouldn’t appreciate that. Not that they cared what he thought, really, but angering him might lead to bad things.

"Here," Harry said, pushing the items toward him once they’d all been set down. “Happy?” 

"PERFECT!" Mettaton gushed. "Great job, loves! We've got all of the ingredients we need to bake the cake!" 

"Yay," the boys said unenthusiastically.

“Can we leave now?” Peter inquired, quirking an eyebrow impatiently.

"Yes indeed, we’ve got all we need," Mettaton continued, ignoring the question completely. "Milk, sugar, eggs…” All of a sudden, he gasped. ”Oh my! Wait a magnificent moment!" he cried. 

"What now?" Harry asked warily. His hands rested anxiously in his pockets, mostly to prevent himself from gnawing his fingernails down to the quick. 

"Why, how could I forget!!!" Mettaton exclaimed. "We're missing the most important ingredient!" His screen, which normally displayed segmented yellow squares, turned completely red. From beneath the counter, he slowly raised up a chainsaw., pulling the cord twice to rev it. Peter and Harry paled. 

" _ TWO HUMAN SOULS!! _ " 

Faster than any machine should have been able to, Mettaton spun around and wheeled toward them, swinging the growling weapon back and forth menacingly. Shrieking, Peter and Harry began tripping over themselves to back up as the robot advanced steadily.

“Oh God oh God oh shIT-”

Thankfully, before Mettaton could cleave either of them in two, a phone on the counter began to ring. Mettaton immediately stopped short, hesitantly lowering the chainsaw back out of sight. The boys nearly fainted with relief.

_ But who’s calling…? _

Mettaton was clearly wondering the same thing. "Hello...?" he asked, answering the phone and putting it on speaker. "I'm kind of in the middle of something here." He tapped his fingers on the counter in an impatient rhythm. 

"W-Wait a second!" came the high, wavering voice of Dr. Alphys. 

"Alphys!!" Peter and Harry cried. It looked like the lizard scientist was coming to their rescue yet again. And just in the nick of time, too; another half a second and they would’ve been Jason Voorhees’d by a homicidal, effeminate robot.

"Couldn't you make a...Couldn't you use a…” Alphys paused, struggling to think of the right wording. ”Couldn't you make a substitution in the recipe?!" she finally blurted. Their eyes lighting up, Peter and Harry nodded vigorously. 

“That sounds like a great idea,” said Peter. “Lots of recipes take substitutions!”

Mettaton was quiet. Then he said, "...A substitution? You mean, use a different, non-human ingredient?" 

“That would be the idea,” Harry squeaked.

"...Why?" 

Peter and Harry shared another  _ crap  _ look. Luckily, Alphys swooped in with backup.

"Uhh, what if someone's...vegan?" she tried.

Mettaton didn’t seem impressed (then again, it was hard to gauge his expression from just a multitude of colored squares). "Vegan," he said flatly. 

Alphys started speaking very quickly in her rush to convince him. "Uh well I mean-" 

"THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA, ALPHYS!" Mettaton suddenly exploded, startling Peter and Harry into nearly falling over. With his demeanor completely having done a 180, Mettaton clapped his hands and twirled around on his wheel. "Actually, I happen to have an option right here!!” he exclaimed. “MTT-Brand always-convenient human-soul-flavor-substitute!" 

“What does a human soul even  _ taste  _ like?” Harry muttered, wrinkling his nose. 

“Morlun always said they were ‘sweet and succulent,’ whatever that’s supposed to mean,” Peter said, unable to stop a shiver going down his back. “But I’m glad to say he never got to taste mine.” Maybe now wasn’t the best time to reminisce about spider-people-eating vampires, actually. 

"A can of which...is just over on that counter!" Mettaton continued. He pointed with a grand flourish to his left, where a silver can rested on a small counter at the very edge of the set. He turned back to Peter and Harry. “Well, darlings? Why don't you go get it?" 

“Us? Why do we have to get it?” Harry grouched. “Isn’t this your cooking show?” 

“Well, yes, of course!! But you are still my lovely assistants, you know,” Mettaton replied. “Can’t very well have lovely assistants without giving them something to assist with!” He clapped twice. “Chop, chop!”

"Ugh, fiiine,” Peter sighed. Getting a can of ‘soul substitute’ was better than ending up in cake batter, at least. He and Harry made their way over to the other counter, Harry looking over his shoulder distrustfully at Mettaton as they did. 

When they made it over, Peter went to grab for it. Instead of picking the can up like would be reasonably expected, his hand closed on open air as the small piece of furniture suddenly erupted from the ground. It grew taller and taller, extending endlessly from its original form, until it nearly reached the ceiling. For a moment, the two craned their heads back to stare at the ridiculously tall counter with mouths open wide; then, they both whipped around with scowls.

"Hey, no fair!" Peter shouted. “What gives?!”

Mettaton just chuckled in lieu of an explanation. "By the way, our show runs on a strict schedule," he said in an almost gloating fashion. "If you can't get the can in the next one minute...we'll just have to go back to the  _ original  _ plan!" His voice dipped threateningly low on this last part. 

Peter and Harry swallowed.

"So...one of you better start climbing, beautiful!" Mettaton giggled. He was very obviously enjoying this.

Peter groaned, but he knew what he had to do. "I'll get it," he said quickly to Harry. "My spider powers'll make me faster. Besides, I’m used to climbing." 

"Be careful, Pete," Harry said nervously. “Don’t fall, okay?” Maybe it was dumb to tell Spider-Man not to fall, but he couldn’t help worrying about his best friend, super powered gymnast or not. 

“I don’t plan on it.” 

Peter smiled reassuringly at Harry, then launched himself up the side of the counter. He allowed his body to go on autopilot, placing hand over hand in a rapid, methodical rhythm. As he climbed, Mettaton, who’d converted to his rocket-powered form, hovered above and kept pace with him.

“What are you-?” Peter puffed, his eyes darting to the side for as long as he could allow. 

Letting out another titter, Mettaton produced and emptied a bag of croissants onto Peter. The baked goods rained down on him, bouncing off his head and back as he yelped. 

“Hey, quit it!” Peter barked, maneuvering as best he could to avoid being pelted. “You’re  _ seriously  _ getting on my nerves!”

Mettaton, unfortunately, did not care one bit. Next he grabbed a bag of sugar and flour from who knows where and dumped them out onto the climbing spider-boy, and when those were empty he threw down more croissants. Peter dodged the falling items with relative ease, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t irritating beyond belief. He just  _ had  _ to make it harder, didn’t he?

Harry watched from below, biting his nails anxiously as Peter pulled himself higher and higher. The audible ticking of the clock was loud in his ears, serving as a constant reminder of what was at stake. Finally, with just about twelve seconds left, Peter reached the top of the counter and seized the can. The very second his fingers touched it, the numbers on the clock stopped going down, leaving an almost deafening silence. With his labor successfully completed, Peter clung to the edge of the counter, sweating and gasping for breath. It wasn’t like it had been a particularly exhausting task, but the stress of the situation combined with Mettaton’s ceaseless distractions had lent it more of an edge.

Mettaton hovered nearby impassively as Peter began to climb back down. "My my," he said, sounding bored. "It seems you've bested me. But only because you had the help of the brilliant Doctor Alphys earlier! Oh, I loathe to think what would have happened to you two without her!” He shrugged. “Well, toodles!" With that, Mettaton appeared to rocket away… but mere seconds later he came zipping back, hovering again beside Peter as he made his way down. "Oh, about the substitution!” he said. “Haven't you ever seen a cooking show before? I already baked the cake ahead of time!!! So forget it!!" 

Peter blinked.

“Wait, wha?”

But Mettaton was already gone, and this time he stayed gone. Peter stared after him, then shook his head and slowly climbed the rest of the way back down, chucking the can as far as he could when he reached the floor. “Stupid soul substitute,” he huffed. “I bet it doesn’t even exist. I bet it’s just an empty can.” Knowing Mettaton, he probably wouldn’t hesitate to put them through such an ordeal all for nothing. In fact, he probably got a huge kick out of it. At least it was over and done with. For now, anyway.

“Holy crap,” Harry gasped, rushing over. “That was close! Good job.”

"Thanks, pal. Yeah, that thing was  _ way  _ taller than it had any business being.” He leaned backward a bit, arching his back as far as he could. “Good excuse to put the ol’ muscles to work, though, I guess.” 

Peter’s pocket started to vibrate, so he reached inside and pulled out their phone. As he’d been hoping, Dr. Alphys’s name was displayed on the screen.

“Alphys!!” he exclaimed. 

"Wow! We...we did it!" Alphys said, and they could hear the smile in her voice. "We...we really did it!! Great job out there, team!" 

"We sure did," Peter replied, beaming. "And we couldn't have done it without you. That was a great idea you had!”

“We’d probably be in a cake by now without your interruption,” said Harry with a strained little laugh. 

There were some quiet, high-pitched noises on the other line for a moment or two, which they figured were from Alphys trying to process the compliments. Finally she said, "Th-Thanks!! W-Well, uh, anyway, let's keep heading forward!"

“Right,” they agreed together. Once Alphys hung up, Peter put away the phone and headed toward the edge of the set, where -- hopefully -- they’d cross into the rest of the normal Underground. 

“I think I’ve had about enough TV time,” he said as Harry joined his side. 

“Yeah, you said it.” Harry shook his head in disgust. “Mettaton is the worst host I’ve ever seen.”

If it were up to them, Peter and Harry would abstain from ever appearing on one of Mettaton’s programs ever again. Unfortunately, it would soon become apparent that fate enjoyed reality television too much to let them off that easily. 


	43. Telephone Tizzy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry continue their journey, aided by Dr. Alphys. Unfortunately, after a small miscalculation, Alphys begins to doubt her own abilities and begins to call a bit less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's like ten or so chapters left until one of my favorite scenes and I'm dyin' here y'all

Beyond the cooking show set were the familiar stone paths and heat of Hotland, along with a small yellow star. Peter was comforted to see another one, and he went up and touched it. 

"An ominous structure looms in the distance...you're filled with determination." 

Peter and Harry looked across the way and found that the voice was right; the giant, foreboding building they’d seen upon leaving Alphys’s lab was getting ever closer. And  _ they  _ were getting closer and closer to the end of their journey. 

"Almost there," Peter said. He was a little unsure how to feel about that. On the one hand, they were (hopefully) just a few hours away from getting back home to New York. They’d see their families again, their friends, and feel the sun and wind again. On the other hand…what else were they going to have to do to get there? And how would they go about breaking the barrier once they made it home? These were all questions that had yet to be answered. 

As Peter and Harry silently pondered the last leg or so of their adventure, the phone rang again, despite Alphys having called just a few moments ago. 

_ Oh, she probably has something important to tell us. _

“Heya, Alphys!”

"H-Hey,” she said. “S-See that building in the distance?” Peter and Harry instinctively nodded, and Peter replied, “Yeah. We were actually wondering what that is. We saw it, like, right after we stepped out of your lab.”

“That's the Core. The source of all power for the Underground,” Alphys explained. 

“Whoaaaa. No kidding,” Peter murmured in awe. The wisps of steam curling up from the stacks continued to disperse against the cavernous ceiling like before, only now those wisps seemed to hold far greater weight. New York City ate up so much power alone that it was staggering to think that an entire society could be sustained just by one power plant. Then again, as they were reminded countless times, the Underground was far less populated than any large American city.

“Yeah,” she said. “It converts geothermal energy into magical electricity, by..." Alphys, apparently catching herself about to go on a ramble, quickly stopped herself and laughed sheepishly. Peter couldn’t help but sag a bit in disappointment; he was absolutely more than eager to learn just how power down there operated. Oh, well. There probably wasn’t really time, anyway. "Uhh, anyway,” Alphys continued, “that's where we're going to go. In the Core is an elevator directly to Asgore's castle. And from there...you can go home." A small silence lingered after her final statement as both parties absorbed the full weight of it.

Home.

Then, it was true. They really were that close.

"That’s amazing," Peter said gratefully. “Thank you, Alphys. For all your help.” 

“D-Don’t...Don’t mention it! Heh.”

Then Alphys hung up.

"We really are almost there, then," Peter said, looking at Harry. "In that place...the Core...from there, it's a straight shot home." 

"Great!" Harry said, nodding. He smiled, but his voice wavered slightly. Peter didn't blame him. After all, as they’d just mulled over, there were still a lot of unknowns left along the road home. 

“Guess we’d better keep going, then, right?” Harry said, breaking the small silence that had developed again. Giving his head a quick shake, Peter took one last long look at the Core, then nodded. 

“Yep! Onward and hopefully upward, my friend.”

So Peter and Harry continued on. The path they were currently on took them to a dead end, save for a single elevator embedded in the wall. 

“Looks like we’ll be heading upward sooner than I thought,” chuckled Peter. 

Inside the elevator, there were only two buttons: one for 'Left Floor 1', and one for 'Right Floor 2'. They were quiet for a moment as they tried to puzzle out which would be the right way to go. 

“Well,” Peter said, “we can always go back the other way. Right?”

“Yeah, totally.”

“Alrighty. 'Right Floor 2 it is, then'.” After a short but speedy elevator ride (during which Peter was pretty sure he felt the thing go  _ sideways _ ), the doors slid open with a ding. They stepped out and looked around. The only thing directly nearby happened to be a monster -- a small, wiry monster that appeared to be entirely made out of fire. As soon as they spotted Peter and Harry, the flaming monster darted over with a big smirk on their face. 

"Oh! Uh, hey," Peter said, smiling politely despite the surprise. “How are-” 

"Hey!!” the monster said, loudly cutting Peter off before he could get a word in. “You better listen up! I'm Heats Flamesman. Remember my name!" 

“I, ah…” Peter and Harry shared a bewildered head tilt. “O...Okay? We were just-”

“ _ Remember, _ ” Heats said, narrowing their eyes. With their piece said, Heats backed away from the human boys and retreated to the edge of the platform they’d been let out on, sitting down and continuing to keep their gaze focused on Peter and Harry. The boys blinked a couple times, then looked at each other again and shrugged imperceptibly. If Heats wanted them to remember, they’d remember. Goodness knows what the guy would do if they didn’t.

"Oh, ah...we will," Harry assured the monster as they slowly edged down the path. Peter nodded. 

"Y-Yeah, no problem! We'll remember you. Got it." 

Nodding once to Heats Flamesman, they speedily made their way off to the left, power-walking until they couldn’t see their new acquaintance anymore. This new area was a bit more populated; rather than a single, possibly shifty flame monster, they found a blue bird-like woman attired in a dress, a small, smiling volcano-creature, and Sans were all congregated there. 

“Sans!!” Peter and Harry chorused as big grins broke out on their faces. They raced over to his third ( _ it was his third, right? _ ) guard stand and placed their hands on the wooden counter, positively beaming at the sight of their old friend.

Sans returned the grin, as he always did. 

"Hey, kids. Good to see ya’. What's up? Wanna buy a hot dog?” He gestured to a sign on the stand marked with the price. “It's only twelve dollars." 

“God, yes,” Peter said, throwing his head back in exaggeration. He didn’t even care that the hot dogs cost triple the ones in the city. “I’m starving! You want one, Har?”

“I could go for a hot dog,” Harry said eagerly.

“Great! We’ll take two.”

Harry handed over the money, and Sans slid over two hot dogs on a plate.

"Thanks! Here's your 'dogs.” He chuckled like it was a big inside joke. “Yeah, 'dogs. Apostrophe-dogs. Short for hot dogs.” Peter and Harry laughed along with him and happily snatched up their food.

"Thanks, Sans," Harry said. “We appreciate it!” 

“Don’t mention it, bud. I’ll see ya’ down the road, yeah?”

“We hope you do,” Peter said with a smile, and he meant it. 

Sans gave them his signature mini-salute, and the boys both waved as they walked away. Sans watched them go for a moment. Then, he laid his head down on the counter and dozed off. 

Peter and Harry munched on their hot dogs as they continued on, and didn't miss a beat in pulling out the phone when Alphys updated her status again. This time there was another picture, and the caption read, " _ Dinner with the girlfriend ;) _ ". The picture featured a catgirl figurine sitting next to a bowl of instant noodles. 

"Awww,” Harry said. “That’s valid. The figure  _ and  _ the ramen.” Turning to Peter with a sudden smirk, he added, “Hey, Pete, that reminds me. Didn’t you have a Captain America figure you used to prete-”

“Nope! No! Haha, nope,” Peter said, holding the phone closer to his own face. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Hey, look, Papyrus replied!!”

Indeed, Papyrus -- going under the screen name CoolSkeleton95 -- also posted a picture in response to Alphys’s update. It was a photo of himself flexing in front of a mirror, grinning and sporting a pair of sunglasses. There were also cutouts of giant biceps,  _ also _ wearing sunglasses, pasted onto his arms. " _ ARE WE POSTING HOT 'PICS'??? HERE IS ME AND MY COOL FRIEND _ ", read the caption. 

Harry began to laugh so hard he nearly choked on his hot dog. “Oh, my God,” he chuckled, holding a hand to his mouth. “God, I love Papyrus. I love him so much.” 

Alphys posted again a minute later. " _ Lol, CoolSkeleton95!...That's a joke, right? _ " 

" _ THE ONLY JOKE HERE, IS HOW STRONG MY MUSCLES ARE. _ " 

Peter and Harry laughed to themselves again, filled with a sudden deep fondness for the friends they'd made there in the Underground. 

The phone buzzed a third time, but rather than another update from Alphys or Papyrus, there was a friend request on their screen from Napstablook22. 

"Oh!!” Peter exclaimed. He hadn’t even known Napstablook was on the Undernet! He smiled and moved his finger to tap the "Accept" button, but before he could, the screen changed to a different message: " _ It seems to have already rejected itself... _ " 

"Oh no! What?” Peter said, eyes wide with surprise and dismay. He gave the screen a couple quick taps in the hope that the request would come back, but alas, it seemed it was truly gone. It would be up to Napstablook to resend the request. 

“I didn’t even know it was impossible to reject a friend request that  _ you  _ sent,” Harry said, knitting his brows in sympathy. 

“Neither did I,” Peter said, mystified. 

They waited a little bit to see if anyone else would update with another status, but it appeared the barrage had stopped, at least for a while. Moving on, they walked for about five minutes until they eventually came to two conveyor belts. Down the way, they could see several switches lined up along the wall nearest to the first conveyor belt, and at the end was an electrical field that hummed with energy. Just as they were musing over the correct solution to the puzzle, Alphys called them up. 

"H...Hi!" she squeaked. "It's Dr. Alphys.” 

“Hey, Doc! Got a hint for us?” asked Peter.

“Uhh, y-yup!” she stammered. “This p-puzzle is kinda...um...timing-based. Y-You see those switches over there?" 

Peter and Harry looked toward the wall again. 

"Yup! There’s three of ‘em." 

"Right! Y-You'll have to press all three of them within three seconds," Alphys said. "I'll stay on the phone and t-try to help you with the rhythm!" 

"Oh, great! Thanks!" Peter, keeping the phone to his ear, stepped onto the first conveyor belt with Harry by his side. They began to move rather slowly, and as they passed the first two switches, they flipped them. However, as they reached the third one, the electrical barrier at the end disappeared. 

_ Didn’t Alphys say to hit all three-? _

Belatedly, just as Peter and Harry reached the other side, Alphys said excitedly, "O-Okay! Now hit the third one!" Before Peter or Harry could even open their mouths to say anything, a single beat passed and she seemed to realize her error. Emitting a small, strangled gasp, she stuttered, "Oh..h-hey...looks like you! Only needed to press!! Two of them!!" Her voice sounded painfully strained.

"Hey, no worries!” Peter assured her. “It’s really not a big-”

Alphys hurriedly hung up, leaving a dial tone ringing in his ear. 

"Alphys? Alphys?” Peter frowned down at the phone.

“What happened?” asked Harry, tilting his head. “Is she alright?”

“I think she got frazzled,” Peter said. 

“Because she made a mistake? It wasn’t a big one,” Harry pointed out. Why would Alphys get all worked up about telling them to flip an extra switch?

"I don’t know, but I feel bad,” Peter said. “I wish she wouldn't worry so much. It's not a big deal that she made a mistake; I make 'em all the time! Everyone does." He cast another glance down at the phone and bit part of his lip. He hoped she would call back soon. 

“I’m sure she’ll be alright,” Harry told him, patting him on the shoulder encouragingly. “Just give her some time, Pete.”

“Yeah…”

Continuing down the path, the boys came to a room absolutely chock-full of the steam-powered grates. Harry immediately threw his head back and mumbled, “Gooood,  _ whyyyy. _ ”

“Oh, boy,” Peter chuckled. “More of our favorite exercise.”

“They’re gonna burn a hole in my shoes,” Harry complained. “Or get them all wet. Who put all these down here?! And why?”

“You’d have to ask the engineers,” Peter said, stepping up to the first grate and surveying the scene ahead. “Cheer up, pal, we’re getting there. I bet there’s only, mm...a handful of these left.”

“One more is too much.”

A buzz from their phone indicated another update. Hoping for more silly banter, Peter quickly snatched it out of his pocket, but instead he found a lone update from Alphys: “ _ That's the last time I try to help with a puzzle lmao _ " 

“Oh, no,” Peter murmured. “She’s really taking this hard.”

“Do you think we should call her?” Harry fretted. “I mean, I don’t want her to think that we don’t want her help. Maybe we could-”

The phone started ringing, and Peter scrambled to answer it. 

"Alphys??" 

"Oh, h-h-hey!" Alphys said. 

“Alphys,” Peter sighed, feeling relief course through him. “Are you okay?” 

"H-Huh? Oh!!” She laughed tightly. “Y-Yeah, I’m, uh, I’m o-okay! I just, uh...wanted to tell you...I'm going to the bathroom, so I'll be MIA for a bit.” Alphys cleared her throat. “I'm...I'm sure you can handle this puzzle yourselves!" 

Peter’s mouth twitched uncertainly.

“Oh...are you sure? Because we-”

"Yeah, o-of course! You got it,” she said quickly. “I-I’ll talk to you soon, okay?" 

Peter and Harry’s worried eyes met for a moment, and then, slowly, Peter said, “Alright, Alphys. Don’t hesitate to call, okay? We love hearing from you. Really.”

“Y-Yup! Bye!”

She hung up, and Peter once again returned the phone to its fabric home. Raising his eyes to Harry again, he said, “Well...I guess we’re on our own for this one, then. Good thing we already know how to grate-hop.”

“Uh-huh.” Harry shifted his weight from foot to foot. “You, uh...you think she will call back, right?”

Peter mustered a smile for his friend. “Sure! Sure I do. Like you said, Harry, we just gotta give her time. I’m sure everything will be fine.”He stepped back up to the grate and gestured for Harry to follow. “Let’s get over these grates, huh? The sooner we get through this room, the sooner we can hopefully put them all behind us.” He chuckled lightly. “ _ Hopefully.” _

“I can get behind that.”

It took them a few minutes of hopping -- going too far, doubling back, having to change course entirely -- but they eventually made it to the other side. A little ways down the continuing path was another yellow star, along with a safe and a mouse hole. 

“Oh, God, another one?” Harry said. “Someone must have a real hate boner for these mice.”

“Maybe they’re just testing them,” Peter suggested. “Trying to find the strongest and smartest of all mice. For the Micevenger’s Initiative.”

Harry gave Peter a look, and the spider-boy laughed aloud. He made his way to the star and gave it a nudge with his toe, and once more the booming voice filled their ears:

"Knowing the mouse might one day hack the computerized safe and get the cheese...it fills you with determination.”

“Godspeed, mouse,” Harry muttered. 

Peter felt a familiar buzz in his pocket, and as his eyes widened hopefully he pulled it out to check what it said. Harry peered over his shoulder to see as well, praying for some good news from Alphys.

" _ Omg, ppl think Mew Mew 2 is better than Mew Mew 1? _ " was her new status update. " _ LOLLLL that's a joke right... _ " 

Oh. Well… It wasn’t an indicator of whether she’d call back soon or not, but at least they knew she was alright. For a very, very brief moment, Peter had worried that perhaps she wouldn’t touch the phone again at all, but seeing her activity made him feel slightly better. Only time would tell if their lizard guide would reach out again to give some advice.

He hoped she would. It wouldn’t be the same, navigating Hotland without Alphys. She’d saved their life more than a few times already, and they wanted to be sure to let her know she and her help were greatly appreciated. 

Two more rapid-fire updates suddenly flashed on their screen: 

" _ Omg...DON'T THEY GET IT RUINS MEW MEW'S ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC _ " 

" _ My Mew Mew 2 review: Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 is Neither Kissy nor Cutie. It's Trash. 0 stars. _ " 

The boys couldn’t help but smile a little. She was still passionate, that was for sure. And seeing that was enough to keep them hopeful that Alphys would be just fine. 

“All it takes is a little time,” Peter said to himself. “Just a little time.”


	44. Matchmaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get stopped by a pair of guards on their way to the Core. Luckily, their matchmaking skills help the guards reveal their feelings for one another, and stop the altercation to boot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the guards so much, man, they're the best

Peter put the phone back in his pocket in preparation to continue on, but before they could take even a single step, an unfamiliar voice called out behind them. 

"Hey! You Two! Stop!!" 

Freezing to the spot as a ripple raced down their spine, Peter and Harry’s frantic eyes darted to one another. That had most definitely been directed at them. There was no mistaking it. The question was, why? And how much trouble were they about to be in?

They turned around very, very slowly to see two armored guards hurrying toward them -- the same armored guards they’d seen in passing as they made their way into Alphys’s lab, back at the start of Hotland. Not much could be seen past their visored helmets, but the monsters’ voices sounded stern. 

“O-Oh!! Yes!” Peter said awkwardly, forcing a tight smile onto his face. “Hi there! C-Can we help you…?” 

The guards stopped three feet from them. This close, they appeared to tower over the human boys. "We've, like, received an anonymous tip about two humans in the Underground, dressed in a black sweater and a blue jacket. They told us they were wandering around Hotland right now,” said the guard on the right. Two horns protruded out from the sides of his helmet alongside thin, finned ears. His companion, sporting two floppy rabbit-like ears, remained silent.

The boys strained to keep their poker faces. It wasn’t working too well.

"O-Oh?" Peter said weakly. “You don’t say?”

_ Crap crap crap crap _

"I know, sounds scary, huh?" the horned guard asked. "Well, just stay chill. We'll bring you someplace safe, okay?" 

Peter sucked his lower lip in surprise as a look of disbelief passed between him and Harry. The...The guards didn’t know who they were, did they? They were staring directly at them -- at their faces, at their clothes, at their whole distinctly non-monster appearance -- and somehow it just wasn’t clicking. 

_ How the f- _

Well, better not to look a gift horse in the mouth, right? Better to just roll with it and thank their lucky stars that these two guards weren’t particularly observant. Yeah. That was what they’d do.

"O-Oh...okay," Peter said shakily. “Y-Yeah, thanks! We feel, uh, a lot safer...with you guys around.”

"Lead the way," Harry added, his plastered-on grin twitching minutely.

“Haha, awesome. C’mon, this way!”

The guards turned and began walking back the way they’d come, and Peter and Harry followed them, their cheery facades giving way immediately to grimaces of apprehension. They exchanged darting glances between the backs of the guards and each other as they walked. How long were they going to have to follow these two? More importantly, where were they taking them? If it was far off course, it might take them ages to get back to where they were supposed to be...

Suddenly, the rabbit-eared guard stopped in his tracks. His ears twitched almost imperceptibly. Leaning into the other guard, he whispered something Peter and Harry couldn’t hear. The boys remained silent, holding their breath unconsciously.

"Huh? What is it, bro?" the first asked, turning his head to hear better. The second guard whispered to him again. "The clothes they're wearing?” echoed the first guard after a beat of silence. “ ...Like, what about it?" 

Peter and Harry froze as the words left his mouth. 

_ Shiiiiiiiiiiit. _

It had probably been foolish to believe the charade would last for long.  _ Sigh.  _

The second guard whispered to his companion yet again, and then both guards turned to stare at the humans. Peter and Harry remained stuck in place for a moment before curving their lips up in hopeful, but strained, smiles again.

“S-Something wrong, fellas?” Peter squeaked.

"Bro..." the first guard said slowly, looking to his friend. "Are you thinkin'...what I'm thinkin'?" The other guard nodded, and he sighed heavily. " _ Bummer _ . This is, like...mega embarrassing." He returned his gaze to Peter and Harry and shrugged in what looked like a somewhat apologetic way. "Sorry, dudes. We, like, actually totally have to kill you and stuff." Perfectly in sync, the two guards drew their swords.

“Aww,  _ nuts, _ ” Peter mumbled under his breath. It appeared that it was time to put their communication skills to use yet again. It had been a while, considering they hadn’t actually talked their way out of anything with Mettaton. With Mettaton, they had to pretty much rely entirely on Alphys. And jumping through whatever hoops the robot set up. 

Composing himself as best he could, Peter placed himself in front of Harry and spread his arms out, palms-up, in the universal gesture of ‘I’m harmless, don’t stab me please’. “Guys!” he said amicably. “Fellas! Might we be able to settle this calmly, like rational monsters and men?”

The horned guard’s sword cleaved down in an arc and struck the space directly in front of Peter. Seconds later, two tiny hairs from the front of Peter’s head gently floated down in front of his eyes and landed with nary a sound at his feet.

“Ah!” he said. “Your sword is  _ very  _ sharp.” Taking one step back, he tried again. “So! Now that you’ve demonstrated your weapon’s prowess, how about that friendly chat?”

“Sorry, bro,” replied the first guard. His voice was incredibly reminiscent of one of those California surfer dude, but that didn’t detract from his current intimidation level. “We got our orders. No hard feelings, right?”

“Easy for you to say,” Harry whimpered. Peter, deciding it was time to pull out the Big Guns, put his hands together and hit the guards with his best puppy dog eyes. No one could resist the Parker Puppy Dog Eyes!

...Except, apparently, these two particular guards, who lifted their weapons in perfect sync before slashing them down again. A hastily-executed tumble roll got Peter out of the danger zone, barely. He popped back to his feet and bounded back to Harry, who still remained in his spot as he cowered slightly. 

“That wasn’t cool,” Peter panted. 

“We, like, warned you,” said Guard One. Peter had taken to calling the guards by number in his head. It just made things simpler, since they didn’t know their names. “Humans gotta be killed, my man. Orders straight from Miss Undyne. Sorry.”

“That’s not true!” said Peter, pouting. “Y’know, Undyne _ used  _ to think that, but she changed her mind. She let us go.” That wasn’t  _ quite  _ the truth, Peter knew, but there was probably no harm in a little white lie, especially in this situation. Hopefully. Undyne may not have changed her mind (although Peter hoped she had), but she  _ had  _ stopped pursuing them after her fainting episode in Hotland. She acknowledged, in her own standoffish way, that they’d helped her. And she’d given up the hunt. Maybe, if her guards knew that, they would stand down.

“What??” Guard One gasped. “Miss Undyne?? I don’t...bro, that sounds, like, fake. She would never back down!”

“It’s true,” Peter said. “She’s not hunting us anymore, and neither should you. C’mon, man, can’t we all get along? We’re not here to hurt you. We’re not here to hurt anybody.” Despite being unable to see either guard’s eyes, Peter stared intently into their faces. 

His words hung in the air as both parties remained at a standoff. Guard One kept glancing fervently at Guard Two, as if waiting for his partner to indicate what they should do. Guard Two, as always, remained silent, staring straight ahead at Peter and Harry. Peter wished desperately to know what was going on in the other monster’s mind. He wasn’t used to facing strong, silent types. His whole strategy as Spider-Man revolved around using words to mess with his foes, and their whole strategy  _ here  _ revolved around using words to come to an understanding. Each strategy relied on both parties speaking. Peter had no problem with quiet people, but not having any inkling what Guard Two might be thinking unnerved him.

Finally, just when they were beginning to fear they’d be standing there forever, Guard One shook his head. 

“I...I dunno, dude,” he said. “Miss Undyne said ‘Never trust a human’, you know? Bummer, but she’s never steered us wrong before.” He hefted his sword into the ready position again and inclined his head. “If it turns out we’re wrong, we totally apologize.”

Peter blew a puff of air up at his forehead. Apologies wouldn’t do them much good if they were dead. There had to be a way to reason with these guards; if they could get freaking  _ Undyne  _ herself to give them a break, then they could get her lackeys to chill out, too. 

While Peter worked silently in his head to come up with something that would get through their skulls, Guard Two took the initiative and lunged forward to strike at Harry. Lightning-fast, Peter yanked his friend out of the way, and the sword cleaved a two-inch fissure in the ground. Harry made a strangled noise.

“Whoa, like, great move, 02!” said Guard One, bouncing lightly on his armored feet. Guard Two (or “02”, as his compatriot had called him) turned his head a fraction to the left in acknowledgement. Although no words had been reciprocated, Peter noticed with slight interest that Guard One seemed to be overly excited at this small gesture: his hands trembled almost unnoticeably, and Peter was sure he heard a tiny giggle come from that heavy helmet. 

_ Hmm. What’s that about? _

“Watch this, bro,” Guard One said, puffing his chest out and tossing his head. Swiveling back to Peter and Harry, he crouched low before launching himself directly into the midst of them. 

“Ah, heck-”

Once again, Peter bodily moved Harry away from the strike before narrowly avoiding it himself. A quick glance at Harry told him that his friend had gone into a bit of a shellshock. That wasn’t optimal. He was going to need him mentally front and center if they were going to dissuade these guards together. 

“Harry. Hey, Harry,” Peter said, snapping his fingers close to the other boy’s ear. Harry jolted and drew a fast breath, eyes darting around as if he’d just woken in the middle of the night.

“Ah!! Uh- Yeah? I…” He shook his head, placing his hands on his temples. “Sorry. I, uh, don’t know why that got to me so much. Y-You good?”

“I’m fine,” Peter assured him, sparing a look at the recouping guards. They were conversing together in low tones, but it wouldn’t be long before one or both of them went on the offensive again. “But we gotta act fast.” He nodded his head toward Guard One. “I think something funky’s going on with that one there.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, I think he might have a very particular interest in his buddy there.” 

“You’re gonna have to be more specific, Pete.”

Peter shifted from foot to foot. “I think he might have a little crush.”

“Really?” Harry looked incredulous. “How could you tell?”

“I don’t know for sure,” Peter admitted, “but...I dunno, Har, I just have a hunch. He seems really eager to impress Guard Two.”

“They could be brothers,” Harry said doubtfully. “Or friends. Are you really confident that it’s a crush?”

Peter looked back at the guards again once more. Guard One was very close to Guard Two as they spoke, their shoulders almost pressed together. Every so often Guard One would dip his head away, as if embarrassed by something unsaid, before quickly facing his companion again. 

“I may not have the best track record with romance,” Peter said, “but I like to think I’m pretty good at recognizing other people’s romantic signals when I see them. And that guy is most definitely crushing hard.”

Harry hemmed and hawed silently for a beat or two. Then he sighed. 

“Alright, Pete. Maybe he does. But what good does that do us? How could that possibly help?”

Now Peter grinned, and he rubbed his hands together in excitement. 

“I think it could do us a lot of good, if we play our cards right,” he said. 

“Oh yeah?”

“I have a feeling that if we go and play matchmaker,  _ maaaybe  _ the two lovebirds will be less inclined to slice us in half.” He inclined his head and bounced his eyebrows a couple of times as he waited for Harry’s response. 

Harry’s response ended up being a snort.

“Heeey, come on!” Peter wheedled. “It’s not that ridiculous, is it?”

“I just don’t know, dude. I mean…we’re not even a hundred percent  _ sure  _ it’s a crush, and even if it is, how would we go about ‘playing matchmaker’? What, are we just gonna say, ‘Hey, we noticed you have the hots for your friend; why don’t you kiss and leave us alone’?”

“I just need you to trust me, Harry. I think this is our best option.” Peter clasped his hands and slipped into his puppy dog pout. 

_ Dammit! The Pout. I can’t say no to The Pout… _

With time to decide quickly evaporating, Harry gave a helpless sigh and half-shrugged with one shoulder. “Okay. I trust you, Pete. You take the lead, and I’ll, uh, try to do my best.” He bit his lip as he looked across at the guards. “I just hope you’re right about this.”

Peter pumped his fist in victory. “Yes!! Let’s go foster some feelings.”

Their plan of action settled, the two boys left their aside and put their full attention back on the monsters opposite them. It was probably a good thing they’d decided when they did, because the guards also appeared to be finished with their strategic huddle; they were back to standing side by side, bouncing slightly in sync and waving their swords in anticipation.

“Hey, bro,” said Guard One. “You better be ready to get, like, totally rocked.”

“I think I’d have to say the same to you,” Peter replied with a light smirk. 

Guard One ran a hand down his sword eagerly. “Oh, it is  _ on! _ ” The monster dug his heels into the hot earth and charged like a bull toward Peter, this time holding his sword straight out, like a deadly pointed battering ram. Peter almost laughed; that kind of approach was one of the easiest to dodge for someone with super spider capabilities. Hadn’t this guard learned anything from the past few times?

It only took a high, well-timed front flip for Peter to completely clear the sword and land on the guard’s shoulders. Startled, Guard One began to twist and spin around in an attempt to buck him off, but Peter, ever the tenacious little bugger, held on without issue. As Guard One stumbled about, he leaned down close to his helmeted ear.

"Hey," he whispered. "Just between you and me, I see the way you keep looking at your friend over there. You need to be honest with your feelings, man." The guard jumped nearly a full foot in the air at Peter’s words. 

“Wh- Huh?” he mumbled. “Wh-What’re you even saying??” Peter could practically hear the sweat forming on his skin in his voice.  _ Aha.  _ That just about confirmed it. 

“Come on,” Peter said knowingly. “You don’t have to keep it a secret, pal. In fact, I think you should tell him! You’ll never know if he feels the same if you don’t try.” 

The guard made an uncomfortable noise in the back of his throat. "Like...what? I don't get it," he whined, sounding far more like he was trying to convince himself than Peter. Guard One’s efforts to unseat the boy suddenly doubled, and with Peter distracted for a brief moment as he chose his next words, he managed to fling him off in the direction of the second guard. 

Peter, who had not been expecting this, couldn’t help the “Whaaa!!” that came from him as he crashed headlong into Guard Two. Apparently Guard Two hadn’t been expecting it, either, because he hopped back and made a small, surprised grunt -- the first real noise they’d heard him make this whole time. 

As soon as Peter hit the ground, he instinctively rolled out of the way -- and narrowly avoided being stomped on. In seconds he was back across the way, skidding to a halt beside Harry, who’d watched the whole two-minute rodeo with wide and anxious eyes. 

“How’d it go?” Harry asked breathlessly once Peter was beside him. Peter smiled with confidence.

“Not off to a bad start. Not perfect, either, but not bad. We’ll get through to ‘im somehow.” 

So saying this, Peter prepared himself to get back into close range with Guard One. However, a low grumbling noise from Guard Two caught both his and Harry’s attention. The monster was idly rubbing at a portion of the armor covering his chest; a portion of his armor that had gone from a dull brown to an almost blindingly shiny silver. 

"Getting...warmer," Guard Two murmured in a voice that clearly wasn’t used to being utilized. 

Peter and Harry’s eyes met in a millisecond. The dirt on Guard Two’s armor must have kept it cool. Without that thin barrier, the oppressive heat of Hotland would penetrate right through it. 

But what did that mean, aside from actually getting the quiet monster to speak? 

Guard One didn’t give them much time to deliberate. "Like, 'you're dead' and all," he said, prying his own gaze away from Guard Two and rounding on Peter and Harry. 

In the seconds before Guard One reached them, Peter looked at Harry and nodded toward Guard Two. In spite of the vagueness of the gesture, Harry got the message loud and clear: get more of that armor cleaned off. Harry gulped, but he gave a tiny nod back to Peter just as the first guard was upon them. Grinning, Peter flipped back up onto Guard One’s back and began to wrangle him off in another direction, leaving Harry to his task.

Harry watched Peter ride Guard One around like a disoriented bull. Then he slowly shifted his gaze to Guard Two, who was distracted from the current situation by his rapidly heating armor. He kept rubbing at the spot, perhaps trying to spread more dirt to the area, but to no avail. Pressing his lips firmly together, Harry nodded once to himself for affirmation. This was the time to go for it.

Clearing every other thought from his mind except  _ wipe off the dirt wipe off the dirt wipe off the dirt,  _ Harry slowly and stiffly approached. If the guard hadn’t been distracted, Harry was certain he wouldn’t even have the gumption to go near him. When he was within just two feet of the squirming monster, Harry darted his hand out and swiped a large chunk of dirt away from his armor. A shrill screech full of nerves escaped his lungs as he turned on his heel and sprinted a safe distance away. 

“Oh my God oh my God oh my God,” he panted, resting his hands on his knees and locking his gaze onto Guard Two to gauge his reaction.

For a moment, nothing happened. Guard Two whipped his head around to find the culprit and settled on Harry, but instead of advancing toward him in anger, his uncomfortable squirming just doubled. The monster grunted and panted and twisted as if trying to escape an invisible enemy, and then, in one great outburst, he gave a great bellow.

"Can't...take it...armor...too... _ HOT _ !" 

In one swift motion, Guard Two shed the top part of his armor and flung it off to the side, revealing his extremely muscled bare chest, glistening with sweat. 

“Holy shit,” Harry said, mouth agape. That guard was  _ ripped! _

Peter and Guard One had frozen in their odd little dance when they heard the yell. They were now both fixated on Guard Two, and from the way Guard One trembled beneath Peter’s legs, he could tell that his assumption had been spot-on. There was no denying it now. 

"Come on,” Peter said encouragingly. “It’s obvious, dude. You have to be honest with yourself.” 

"I...I..." Guard One shook even more, his eyes practically bulging out the slot in his helmet. Suddenly, with a great heave of his shoulders, Guard One threw Peter off yet again and ran to Guard Two’s side. Peter twisted in midair so as to soften his landing, and once he was on the ground he immediately got back to his feet and watched with a hopeful grin. 

"D-Dude...I can't...I can't take this anymore!" Guard one wailed, grabbing Guard Two’s gloved hand in his. "Not like this!! Like, 02! I like, LIKE you, bro!" he confessed. Guard Two turned his head quickly in surprise, but said nothing as his companion spoke. "The way you fight...The way you talk...I love doing team attacks with you. I love standing here with you, waving our weapons in sync. 02...I, like, want to stay like this forever..." Guard One swallowed audibly.

“Oh my God,” Harry murmured. “You were right. How the hell’d you know?”

“I told you,” Peter said with a great sense of pride. “I have a feel for these things. Now, let’s hope Guard Two there accepts his confession.”

“Yeah, otherwise this might backfire in the worst way,” Harry agreed, eyeing the two anxiously.

The second guard was silent for a long while. When it had gone on for so long that it started to become uncomfortable, Guard One backpedaled hard. "Uhh...I mean...psyche! Gotcha, bro!” he exclaimed, forcing a bout of hearty laughter. “Haha!" It pained Peter and Harry to hear how strained he sounded. Just as they were about to give up all hope for the poor guard, Guard Two spoke again. 

"01.”

Guard One stiffened. "Y-Yeah, bro?" 

"...Do you want to...get some ice cream...after this?" 

Immediately, Guard One’s shoulders relaxed. "Sure, dude! Haha! That’d be great." The two guards looked each other in the eyes, and both their postures indicated that a huge weight had been lifted off their chests. After a moment, Guard Two took Guard One’s hand more firmly and turned, beginning to walk down the path in the opposite direction from Peter and Harry. Guard One let himself be gently guided onward on shaky (presumably excited) legs. Before they disappeared down the path, he turned his head slightly, and with his other hand he lifted the visor of his helmet to reveal a very dragon-ish face beneath. The guard gave Peter and Harry the silliest, lovestruck smile they’d ever seen. Then he flipped his visor back down and happily followed along beside Guard Two, the confrontation between the four of them discarded just like the second guard’s chestplate. 

"I think this battle's over," Peter said with a smile as he watched them go. 

“I’ll be damned,” Harry said, chuckling in disbelief. “Good for them.”

Peter sighed with satisfaction of a job well done. “Yup. I think they’ll be happy together.” He started off the way the guards had gone, figuring that this must be the way toward the Core. Even if it wasn’t, then they could always backtrack without fear of further interference -- at least from those particular guards.

“Y’know,” Peter said wistfully as they walked side by side, “if I was able to recognize flirting when someone was interested in  _ me  _ as well as I can with other people _ ,  _ maybe I’d have a boyfriend by now.”

Harry laughed. “Eh, can’t win ‘em all, I guess. Don’t worry, though. Someone’ll get through your dense head some day, I’m sure.”

“I am not dense!” Peter refuted. “I’m just…” He scrunched up his face as he tried to think of the right word. “ _ Oblivious. _ ” 

“Okay,” Harry said, “then someone’ll get through your  _ oblivious  _ head some day, I’m sure.”

“Aww, thanks, pal. It means a lot, really, it does. And the same goes for you.”

They laughed together at their mutual teasing and continued on their way. They had to admit, for their first time playing matchmaker, they hadn’t done too bad a job. Not too bad at all. 

_ If there’s a wedding,  _ Peter thought with a private grin,  _ we’d better be invited. _


	45. Reporting Live!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry are once again roped into a devious Mettaton scheme. Luckily, thanks to Alphys's foresight and guidance, they don't explode. Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm uploading this one a little early!! Since I used to upload on Fridays, and since I've been a tiny bit ahead of schedule lately, I figure I'll add Friday back as a possible upload day, if a chapter's ready by then :)

Peter and Harry had been so ensconced in the confrontation with the guards that it was a genuine surprise to hear the  _ beep  _ when Alphys updated her status again. 

“Alphys!!” they yelped together. Peter rushed to grab the phone and examined the message:

" _ Oopswait how're the humans doing. _ ”

“I think we’re doing pretty well,” Peter said aloud to himself. It was just kind of a thing he did, even if there were others around. He’d grown used to it. Thankfully, so had Harry. “If you count nurturing true love as ‘pretty well’. Which I do.”

Another rapid update from Alphys appeared: 

" _ Top 10 Shows That Make You Forget To Do Your Frickin Job _ " 

“Hey, it happens,” Harry said with a little chuckle. “We’ve all gotten lost in Netflix on the toilet at some point.” Peter nodded vehemently.

“Oh, yeah. I can’t even count all the times it’s happened to me.” 

They started their trek back up again, keeping the phone out in case of any more messages, and entered the adjacent chamber. This one, like the set of Mettaton’s cooking show, was pitch black. Harry’s whole body immediately seized up in a sign of pure instinctual rejection.

"Oh, no. Oh, no no  _ no _ ," he said. "I swear to God, if this is what I think it is..." 

Peter’s skin ignited with goosebumps as he felt around in front of him for possible obstacles. “Maybe it’s just coincidence,” he said, although even he didn’t believe the hope in his voice. “M-Maybe it’s just a really dark room with absolutely nothing in it!”

The phone’s display lit up as it began to ring, casting just enough light for Peter to see Harry’s paranoid expression beside him. 

“Alphys will know what to do,” Peter said reassuringly as he accepted the call. 

_ I hope! _

"Okay, I'm back!" Alphys said, sounding winded. "A-Another dark room, huh? Don't worry! M-My hacking skills have got things covered!" Peter was about to question how she knew the room was dark, but then he remembered that she’d been watching them for the entirety of their journey so far -- it only made sense that she’d have cameras spread throughout the rest of the Underground, too. And, hey, it was no big deal to him, now that he knew the cameras were for Alphys and not for some spying pervert; if she could see what was going on, all the better for them and their survival odds. 

A few seconds passed, and then blindingly bright stage lights came up all around them. It was so sudden and startling that they had to shield their eyes for a moment or so. When the little dancing spots finally cleared from their vision, the first thing they noticed as a huge, rectangular hole in some kind of...false wall. To the boys’ great, absolute dismay, Mettaton sat on the other side of the hole at a news desk. The robot was spiffily dressed in a bold red suit, and the wall behind him was made up to look like a news station. On Peter and Harry's side of the wall, the regular environment of Hotland stretched out around them, with several miscellaneous items strewn all about on the floor. Since Peter and Harry were on the left side of the false wall, the hole’s placement made it so that it seemed as if the two were being featured on a TV screen in Mettaton’s news studio.

If he wasn’t so annoyed, Peter would have found the setup ingenious. 

"Are you serious?" Alphys’s shocked voice asked through the phone’s speaker. 

"OOOHHHHH YES!" Mettaton cried, slamming his hands down on his desk. "Good evening, Beauties and Gentlebeauties! This is Mettaton, reporting live from MTT News! An interesting situation has arisen in eastern Hotland! Fortunately, our correspondents are out there, reporting live!” He turned toward the rectangular hole and gestured briefly to Peter and Harry. The two were standing off to the left side of the hole, which gave them the perfect vantage point to scowl at Mettaton from. “Brave correspondents!” Mettaton declared. "Please find something newsworthy to report! Our ten wonderful viewers are waiting for you!!" 

“What,” Harry said flatly. Mettaton laughed, a laugh full of jolliness and glee.

“Oh, come now, darling! Don’t be coy! Go out and find me something  _ spectacular  _ to talk about! Go on, now, don’t dilly-dally!” Mettaton made a shooing motion with his gloved hands.

Harry looked at Peter. He wore an equally slanted grimace. Harry looked back to Mettaton, placing his hands on his hips. “And what if we don’t?” he asked.

“Well then,” Mettaton said cheerfully, “I suppose I’ll have to report on something else! Perhaps...the tragic, mysterious deaths of our intrepid field correspondents!” His voice remained upbeat throughout his whole spiel, ticking upward somewhat menacingly at the end. Peter and Harry gulped. 

“Duly noted,” Harry mumbled. 

“Well,” sighed Peter, “guess we’d better get reporting, then.” He looked down and noticed that one of the random scattered items. a small glass of water, was right by his feet; another step would’ve knocked it right over. “Huh.” He bent down and picked up the glass, turning it lightly in his hands. 

"Oh my!!!" Mettaton exclaimed. "...It's a completely nondescript glass of water. But anything can make a great story with enough spin! Will you report it?" 

"The water?” Peter asked dubiously.

“That  _ is  _ what you’re currently holding, darling.”

“Uhh…” Peter shook his head. “No, not this.” He considered drinking it all in one swig before putting it back, but the thought that Mettaton might have poisoned it kept him from doing so. Instead, he set it down and began to pick his way further into the room. Harry followed close on his heels. 

A few feet from the water, Harry found a script about eighty pages thick. It was bound loosely with string, with bold, black lettering proclaiming it to be  _ Mettaton The Movie: XXVIII _ . Harry rolled his eyes so hard he thought they might drop out of his face.

"Oh no!!!" Mettaton gasped, clearly having noticed his attention on the script. "That movie script!!! How'd??? That get there???” The fluctuations in his tone implied that he knew  _ exactly  _ how it had gotten there. If he was truly trying to feign innocence, he was doing a terrible job of it. “It's a super-juicy sneak preview of my latest guaranteed-not-to-bomb film:  _ Mettaton The Movie XXVIII _ ...starring Mettaton! I've heard that like the other films, it consists mostly of a single four-hour shot of rose petals showering on my reclined body." He put his hands to the sides of his rectangular head in ‘horror’. "Oooh!!! But that's!! Not confirmed! You wouldn't-" He coughed loudly. "-spoil my movie for everyone with a promotional story, would you?" 

Harry slowly smirked the longer Mettaton went on. Taking some immense satisfaction in spiting the robot, he shook his head and put on his most innocent, boyish expression. "Who, me? Oh, no,  _ of course _ not," he said, kicking the script a few inches before turning away. Harry clasped his hands behind his back and walked purposefully in the opposite direction, not even sparing a backward glance for Mettaton’s precious script.

"Phew!! That was close!" Mettaton exclaimed, and he sounded as if he’d like to wring Harry’s neck. "You almost gave me a bunch of free advertisement!!" 

Privately, Harry smiled. Maybe he couldn’t tell Mettaton off to his face, but refusing to cover his shitty movie script felt just as good. Well, maybe not  _ just  _ as good, but it still felt pretty good. 

Meanwhile, Peter had found a basketball. He picked it up, bounced it a couple of times, then spun it on his finger. 

"Basketball's a blast, isn't it, darling?" Mettaton asked. "Too bad you can't play with these balls. They're MTT-Brand fashion basketballs. For wearing, not playing." 

"Fashion basketballs?" Peter echoed. “What sense does that make??”

"You can't get rich and famous like moi without beautifying a few orbs," Mettaton said. “What do you think? Want to promote them?”

Peter dropped the ball back on the ground. “I don’t think so.” He looked around and, once he spotted Harry, he joined him in looking at a video game box. The box was pure black with some undecipherable white lettering, and what looked to be little red and pink hearts underneath it.

"Ooh la la!" exclaimed the robot. "This video game you found...is dynamite!! Though I don't make an appearance in it until three-fourths in. But I like that. Appearing from the heavens like manna, slaking the audience's hunger for gorgeous robots...ooh, that's Mettaton! Will you report on it?" 

The boys looked at each other. Then, they shook their heads.

"Hmm...no," Peter said. "We'll keep looking." 

The next thing they came across was a pristine white box wrapped in red ribbon, which was curled immaculately into a bow. 

"Oh my! It's a present! And it’s addressed to you, darlings!" Mettaton gushed. "Aren't you just bursting with excitement? What could be inside?" the robot asked. "Well, no time like the 'present' to find out!" 

Harry and Peter, quickly smelling a rat, once again shook their heads. "No thanks," Harry said, "we're, ah...we're good. We'll keep looking." 

The sound of soft yipping drew their attention ten feet to the right, and for the first time they noticed a familiar little white dog. It sat neatly with its paws tucked under itself, loaf-style, and was staring up at Peter and Harry with shiny black eyes. “Arf!!” it said.

"Oh, it's you!" Peter said as his eyes lit up, and he immediately bent down to pet it. This dog had been somewhat of a pest during their journey, appearing in the least appropriate circumstances and usually creating a kerfuffle, but it was still a dog. How could they resist it? 

"Oh my! What a sensational opportunity for a story! I can see the headline now: 'A Dog Exists Somewhere'. Frankly, I'm blown away," Mettaton said sarcastically as he leaned his elbow on the desk. Peter, distracted by the dog, happily sat down cross-legged and began to play with it. Harry stuck his tongue out in the robot’s general direction before joining his friend and the pup. 

Mettaton, clearly becoming fed up, grumbled to himself before clearing his throat. "This dog...still exists! This story keeps getting better and better!" He got up from his desk and stuck his head through the hole. “However, need I remind you that you have a  _ job  _ to do?” 

"You know, I think we'll report this one," Peter said, grinning as the dog climbed up onto him and licked at his cheek. Throwing up his hands, Mettaton returned to his desk and cleared his throat once more.

"Attention, viewers!" Mettaton cried. "Our correspondents have found...a dog!" He pushed a button beneath the desk, and a recorded sound of people cooing 'Awww' played through hidden speakers. "That's right, folks! It's the feel-good story of the year! Look at its little ears, tiny paws, fluffy tail…” He paused. ”Wait a second. That's not a tail! That's...a fuse!" 

Peter and Harry suddenly stiffened. They’d been so busy with the dog that they’d mostly tuned Mettaton out, but that last bit registered with startling clarity.

“Uh...what?”

They looked down at the dog. Sure enough, upon closer inspection, its tail was indeed a fuse -- a lit fuse. Though it continued to wag its tail and bark, a faint mechanical whirr made its way to their ears.

"That's right...that dog...IS A BOMB!" Mettaton shouted, rubbing his hands together in glee. The boys immediately jumped to their feet and scrambled away from the dog, staring at it in horror.

“What the hell, man?!” Peter gasped. “Are you trying to kill us?” Wait, that was a stupid question. Of course he was. 

"But don't panic!" Mettaton continued, waving a hand. "You haven't even seen the rest of the room yet!!" With that, the false wall separating them crumbled, revealing the part of the room that had been partitioned off. Mettaton wheeled over to them and spread his arms wide. "Oh my! It seems everything in this area is actually a bomb!" he said gleefully. "That present's a bomb! That basketball's a bomb! _ Everything's a bomb! _ ” 

“You’re a psychopath!” Harry yelled, eyes darting frantically between all the revealed explosives. Mettaton only chuckled.

“Brave correspondents...if you don't defuse all of the bombs..." He zoomed off down a thin path to another section of the room, where a gigantic red bomb twice the size of the robot himself sat. "THIS BIG BOMB WILL BLOW YOU TO SMITHEREENS IN TWO MINUTES!" 

" _ What!? _ " Two minutes was barely enough time to defuse  _ one  _ bomb, let alone however many there were in the room. Peter’s record for bomb-defusing was three in seven minutes, and even then, he’d just barely made it. 

"Then you won't be reporting 'live' anymore!" Mettaton cackled, relishing in their terror. "How terrible! How disturbing! Our nine viewers are going to love watching this! Good luck, darlings!" With that, he waved, waggling his fingers, then zoomed away. 

"That was a dirty rotten trick!" Peter shouted after him.

Harry was beginning to panic. He felt a tide of hiccups rising up inside him, and before he could quell it they came spilling out. That didn’t help Peter’s state of mind any, as now he had to calm his friend in addition to taking out all the bombs. 

_ Okay, okay, it’s fine. It’s fine! We can defuse a few bombs, right? I do it all the time!! No problem, no probleeeeem. _

Just as Peter was about to give Harry a couple of soothing pats while also reaching for the dog-bomb, the phone rang. Nearly leaping out of his skin, Peter fumbled uselessly with it for a good three seconds before managing to hit  _ answer  _ with his shaky thumb. 

"Alphys, is that you?!" 

"D-Don't worry!" Alphys said. "I installed a bomb-defusing program on your phone! Use the 'defuse' button!”

Looking down at the phone with wide, bewildered eyes, Peter found that Alphys was correct: there was a small, red app on the homescreen marked with a yellow caution symbol labeled “bomb defuser”. What a stroke of luck!!

“You’re a godsend, Alphys,” Peter sighed with relief into the phone.

“D-D-Don’t mention it! Now, go get 'em!" 

Peter nodded firmly, leaving the phone on the line and turning to Harry with a glint in his eyes. “Har, we gotta move fast,” he said, gently taking his friend by the shoulder. “We can defuse them with this app, but we gotta go now!”

Harry jumped at Peter’s sudden touch, which, for what it was worth, at least served to rid him of his hiccups. His worried eyes met Peter’s, and though his mind was whirring too fast to comprehend much, he was able to get the gist of what they had to do. So, through the pounding of blood in his ears, Harry managed a faint nod. 

“R-Right. Okay.”

“There’s a certain order you should do it in,” came Alphys’s tinny voice from the phone speaker. “I-I’ll tell you what to do and when!”

True to her word, Alphys gave them precise instructions on the order in which to take out the bombs. Peter and Harry obeyed, moving almost on autopilot after a while. They were determined to survive this. 

The ordeal they’d been placed in was harrowing, but finally, with twenty-six seconds left on the big clock, they defused the final thing-a-ma-bomb. Panting in sheer exertion, they stood in the middle of the room and tried to catch their breath. Harry saw little spots of light dance in front of his vision as he doubled over, and he blearily tried to swat them away. Obviously, it didn’t work.

Soon, Mettaton came rolling over. His suit was still immaculately pressed; he’d probably been well away from the frantic action of the last few minutes. 

_ Metallic asshole.  _ Harry scowled to himself.

"Well done, darlings!” Mettaton lauded. “You've deactivated all of the bombs! If you didn't deactivate them, the big bomb would have exploded in two minutes.” 

“Yeah, we passed your little gauntlet,” Peter said, sneering over at the robot. “You’re done now, right?  _ Please  _ tell me you’re done.”

Mettaton was not done.

“Oh, but wait! There’s more!” he said excitedly. “Now it won't explode in two minutes! Instead, it'll explode in TWO SECONDS!" 

Peter’s mouth went dry and wet at the same time, the way it does right before you throw up. He wouldn’t do that, would he? Would Mettaton really go so far as to blow them to kingdom come even after they’d out-maneuvered him and his ridiculous scheme? Looking at Harry, Peter could tell he was having the same exact thoughts running through his head. Neither of them had the answer.

"Goodbye, darlings!" Mettaton cackled, lifting off into the air and waving at them from up above. Peter and Harry knew they didn’t have time to run. Two seconds was barely time to breathe, let alone move away from the blast radius. This was the end, after all. They’d kept secretly wondering when and if it would come -- it appeared they had their answer now. 

Huddling tightly together, Peter and Harry shut their eyes as the robot continued to laugh and braced themselves for the end. And then… 

Nothing happened. Mettaton paused. 

"Ah. It seems the bomb isn't going off," he said in a strangely even tone. Peter opened one eye cautiously.

“W-Wha…?”

Their phone rang again, prompting Harry to open his eyes as well. With shaking fingers, Peter answered the call and put the phone on speaker. Before he could say anything, Alphys’s wavering but strong voice echoed through the cavern.

"That's b-because! While you were monologuing...I...!” She trailed off, going quiet for a beat. Trying again, she said, “I f...fix...um...I ch-change..." She just couldn’t seem to get the words out.

"Oh, no. You deactivated the bomb with your hacking skills," Mettaton supplied with a somewhat strange note in his voice. The boys didn’t notice, though, due to the adrenaline still pumping from their brains. 

"Yeah! That's what I did!" Alphys exclaimed. 

“Oh, my God,” Peter sighed, finally feeling his body slump over in a relaxed state. “Sh-She did it again.” Was there anything their diligent doctor friend  _ couldn’t  _ do? He was going to have to start keeping a spreadsheet of how many times she’d saved their asses. Turning his head up toward Mettaton, he managed a weak smirk and called, “Looks like you’re foiled again, Robo! Now why don’t you go and sulk somewhere else?”

“Curses!” said Mettaton, lifting one hand to his metal ‘forehead’ dramatically. His voice was equally as dramatic -- almost  _ too  _ much so. “It seems I've been foiled again! Curse you, humans! Curse you, Dr. Alphys, for helping so much!” He turned toward what was probably a hidden camera and clasped his hands, instantly brightening. “But I don't curse my eight wonderful viewers for tuning in!!!" Mettaton looked down at Peter and Harry once more, waving animatedly with both hands. "Well, until next time, darlings!" There was a sound like a mini jet engine, and then Mettaton was gone again, presumably to lie in wait for their (unfortunately very likely) next encounter.

When the mechanical whirring was out of range, Peter and Harry sat back and let out twin sighs of exhaustion. “I was really hoping we saw the last of him the last time,” Harry said, sounding greatly pained.

“I guess it was too much to hope for,” Peter replied with a rueful smirk. A crackling from the phone caused them both to look down. “Oh!! Almost forgot we were still on the line.” Peter brought the phone up between them so that Alphys could speak. “Sorry, Alphys, what’d you say?”

Alphys stuttered a laugh. "Oh, n-nothing!! But…w-wow…w-we really showed him, huh?" she asked.

“Oh, definitely,” Peter laughed. “That creep didn’t know what hit him.” He’d caught them off guard first, but their little trio had come right back with a steady swing. And by steady swing, he meant a bomb-defusing app created by a genius lizard lady.

"I don’t know how you do it, Alphys,” Harry said, shaking his head in undisguised awe. “It feels like every time that asshole robot has a plan, you know exactly what to do to foil it.” 

"Maybe she’s like Doctor Strange,” suggested Peter with a grin. “Kina-all-seeing, somewhat-all-knowing and all that jazz.”

“O-O-Oh!! No, no, n-nothing like that, haha,” Alphys said quickly. “I-I mean!! I just...I built Mettaton, so I-I’m pretty knowledgeable about...h-how he thinks, that’s all.” There was a small noise of fabric ruffling, and Peter pictured her shrugging over the phone. “Th-That’s all there is to it! H-Heh.” 

“Well, no matter what, it’s way impressive,” Peter said. “We owe you a ton. Thank you.”

“Ohh...I-I’m just doing my job, haha! Y-You don’t...have to thank me, r-really.” Alphys was quiet on her end of the line for a moment. Then, she said, "H-Hey, I know I was kind of weird at first...but I really think I'm getting more...uh, more...m-more confident about guiding you!" 

Peter smiled. "That's great, Alphys! You're doing a great job." 

"Th-Th-Thank you," she said, and they could both hear the big smile in her voice. It felt good to hear her so happy. Peter knew firsthand what it was like to doubt yourself and your own abilities, so helping Alphys gain confidence in herself was very rewarding. 

"S-So don't worry about that b-b-big d-dumb robot...okay? I-I'll protect you from him! A-And if it really came down to it, we could just t-turn…” She trailed off. “Um, never mind. Later!" Before the ‘Bye!’ fully left Peter and Harry’s mouths, Alphys hung up. Shrugging, Peter stowed the phone once again, and together the boys got to their feet. The path ahead was, for now, clear of any obstacles -- maniacal robot TV hosts included.

"I honestly don't know what we'd do without her," Harry said as he brushed the dust off his sweater. 

"Me either," Peter agreed. "I'm so glad she's getting more confident. I can really hear the change, y’know?”

Harry nodded, looking pleased. “Uh-huh. Looks like we’re all benefitting from this guiding thing.” 

Thanks to Alphys’s quick thinking and foresight, Peter and Harry were able to start up a leisurely pace down the path once again, moving onward toward the Core, the castle, and the Surface. Though they had a pesky feeling they hadn’t seen the end of Mettaton, for right then, they did their best to put him out of their minds. After all, attention was what he wanted; better not to give him any, even privately. 

And they were confident that with Alphys’s help, one way or another, they’d soon show Mettaton not to mess with their team once and for all. 


	46. The Spider Bake Sale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry finally come upon the spider bake sale! Unfortunately, they can't afford anything, and the monster running it kinda creeps them out. Also, Alphys and the boys make plans to watch Mew Mew one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter....bro....S p i d e r s

After their latest debacle with Mettaton, Peter and Harry were quiet as they made their way along Hotland’s path. Both had a lot floating around in their minds, and besides that, they were still a tad worn out from the peril of nearly exploding. 

When ten minutes or so had gone by with nary a word, the phone rang. Considering how quiet it was, with only the natural, earthy sounds of Hotland surrounding them, the shrill ringing managed to startle them yet again. At least this time there was no pressing threat of bombs. Relishing the leisure with which he was now able to answer the call, Peter held the phone up and put it on speaker.

"Yeah, what’s up, Alphys?" 

Alphys cleared her throat a bit self-consciously. "Um...I noticed you've been kind of quiet..." she began. "Are you w-worried about meeting Asgore?" 

Peter and Harry met eyes across the short distance between them. Without saying a thing, it was obvious that they both felt the same way.

"Yeah," Peter confessed after a moment. "I mean...we've heard so many things about this guy, and we don't know what's true and what's not. I’m hoping that...that something a friend told us - you know, that he’s nicer than he sounds - is true, but...I just don’t know.” He rubbed at the spot above his lip unconsciously, despite the fact that he had no stubble to rub. It was a habit he’d picked up from Jameson, much as he hated to admit it. “We’re just...not sure.” 

Alphys listened in silence. When Peter had finished, she said, "I get it. I-It must be scary to think about, but… W-Well, don't worry, okay? Th-The king is a really nice guy...I'm sure you can talk to him, figure things out, and...w-with your human souls, you can pass through the Barrier! A-And from there, you can go home.” There was a little chuckle on her end of the line. “S-So no worrying, okay? J-Just forget about it and smile." 

She sounded so convincing that Peter felt just a small piece of his anxiety chip away. Again, a  _ small  _ piece, but it was better than nothing at all. If Alphys seemed to believe that they could actually talk to the king, then maybe they really could. She was the Royal Scientist, after all; who else would know Asgore better than his own right-hand woman? 

“You really think so?” Harry asked hopefully, echoing Peter’s thoughts. 

“Y-Yeah! Totally. Y-You’ll be fine.”

“Alright. I guess you're right," Peter said, laughing a little. "Thanks, Alphys. We'll try." They still had a ways to go before they made it to the king’s castle. There would be time enough to deal with the rest of their reservations before then.

Alphys hung up, and Peter put away the phone just as they began to approach another elevator set into the side of a rocky wall.

"Hey, look," Harry said, pointing in front of them. “We must be getting closer." 

The two hurried inside and, after a moment of indecision, selected 'Left Floor 3'. When they exited the elevator, they found themselves on a deep purple path -- very unlike the warm, brown earth of the Hotland ground below (although, it did remind them quite a bit of the bright purple corridors of the Ruins). Several cogs and gears turned methodically in the walls beside them. 

"Whoa," Harry said, looking around. "Neat." 

“It’s a definite change of pace,” Peter noted.

They headed along the path into the next area, and there they found a purple spider woman with a good deal of eyes sitting at a long table, which was covered by a white-and-purple checkered cloth. Several spiderwebs were strewn about the room; in corners, on the walls, and all around the table. Peter and Harry stopped short at the sight. 

“Whoa,” Harry said again, a little louder this time. “This is…”

“ _ Spiders! _ ” Peter exclaimed, breaking out into a wide grin. It was his brethren! Okay, perhaps not quite his brethren, but he  _ did  _ feel a special kinship with spiders ever since he’d been bitten. It was exciting to meet another spider, however different from him, way down Underground. 

The woman spotted them from her post at the table and smiled, showing her fangs. "Welcome to our parlor, dearies~” she cooed in a high, lispy voice. “Interested in some spider pastries? All proceeds go to real spiders!” 

It was only then that the boys realized that the long table was absolutely covered in all different sorts of desserts: half-moon croissants, perfectly coiffed cupcakes, pies covered in cream, donuts arranged in two perfect rows… 

"Oh, it's the spider bake sale!" Harry said suddenly. “We found it!” 

"Oh, yeah!” Peter gasped. “We missed it in the Ruins, didn’t we?” He recalled the empty room full of cobwebs, and the sign proclaiming that they’d finished. It looked like they were going to get a chance to sample their baked goods after all! 

_ As long as they’re not actually MADE from spiders,  _ Peter thought, also recalling that little tidbit from the advertisement and shuddering.

Pushing away such an absurd thought, he sauntered up to the table and smiled at the purple arachnoid monster. “Hi there! How much for a donut?" he asked. He was always happy to help out a fellow spider. Plus, he was kind of hungry again. 

"Only 9,000 dollars," she said sweetly, folding two of her many hands primly. 

Peter blanched as Harry nearly choked beside him.

_ 9,000 dollars?! _

Harry was wealthy, but he only kept so much in his wallet at a time (and most of what  _ had  _ been in his wallet had gone to getting Temmie an education). That didn’t really matter too much anyway, though, because even if he’d had ninety big ones on him, there was absolutely no way in hell that he was spending it on a freaking  _ donut.  _ This lady was out of her mind if she thought anyone was going to buy her goods with that exorbitant price.

"O-Oh," Peter said when he’d found his voice again, putting his hands nervously in his pockets. "S-Sorry, uh, never mind. Unfortunately, w-we don't have that much." His smile turned sheepish and apologetic.

The spider woman stiffened. Her back tensed, her many eyes narrowed, and the hands that weren’t clasped balled tightly into fists. But it was only for a second; in a flash, she was back to smiling sweetly, and her long fingernails began to tap a rhythm on the tablecloth. Peter couldn’t even be sure that the change had happened at all.

"Oh, alright, then, my dears," she said, waving with multiple arms. "You have a pleasant day now.~" 

“Ah! Th-Thanks, miss! You too.” Peter and Harry smiled politely, then backed away from the spider bake sale and went along their merry way. As they headed toward the next room, though, they happened to pass a disgruntled-looking green man, the sight of whom was so absurd that it actually made them stop in their tracks. The monster, his face twisted in a look of pure horror, was holding a donut up to his face. The round pastry, as strange as it seemed, appeared to be the source of the monster’s concern. 

_ Now what’s THAT about??  _

"Uh, hey!” Peter called, cautiously walking closer to the man. “Are you...are you alright?"

As far as they could tell, it was just a simple donut. It had probably come from the spider bake sale just across the way, now that they thought about it. It would only make sense. So why the look of confusion?

“Um. Sir?” Peter tried again when the monster still hadn’t responded. Suddenly, the green man jumped, nearly losing hold of the donut but catching it just in time. Letting out a shaky breath, he slid his eyes over to Peter and Harry.

"I...I...I ended up buying a donut..." he mumbled. 

“Yeah, we see that,” Harry said, raising an eyebrow. “Did you drop it?” 

"Wh-What? No!!” the monster cried, shaking his head vehemently. “I...I...I didn't want t-to- I mean, I didn’t  _ want  _ to buy it, but that girl...even though I told her no, she...kept staring at me in this creepy way and licking her lips. It was like...like she was casting some sort of spell on me. I-I couldn’t say no!!” The monster cast a forlorn look down at his pockets. “N...now I'm outta cash." He breathed harshly through his mouth. The noise sounded like a wounded dog’s whimper.

Peter and Harry looked at each other in alarm. Slowly, they shifted their gazes back to the spider woman manning the bake sale. All eight eyes were already on them, staring intently as if they were particularly tasty flies. She licked her lips once, only adding to the worrying analogy. That was all they really needed to see; quickly wishing the green monster luck, Peter and Harry practically sprinted out of the room, eager to leave the purple spider lady and her unnerving looks far behind.

“Oh, boy,” Peter panted as they paused to rest beside some more steam grates. “I’m sure she’s cool and all, but I’d rather not end up a fly to another spider if I can help it.”

Harry nodded, perturbed. “From the way she looked at us, I wouldn’t be surprised if all her donuts and stuff are made of people.”

Peter shuddered at the thought, and he stuck his tongue out in revulsion.

A ringing and vibrating in his pocket blessedly interrupted that train of thought, preventing it from going any further. It was a relief to push the creepy spider lady and her bake sale of doom out of his mind as Peter picked up the call.

"Hi, Alphys here!" said Alphys cheerily. 

“Hiya, Alphys. Got any advice to give us?” Peter asked, looking across the room at all the steam grates and pathways.

"Uh-huh! This room is like the room we saw before. There are two puzzles to the north and south...you'll have to solve them both to proceed!" 

"Ah! Easy,” Peter said with a grin, waving a hand. “We’ve already established that I am a master at puzzles.”

Alphys giggled, then said, "Oh, a-also...I'd like to say! I don't really...like giving away puzzle solutions. But if you need help, just call me, okay?” She gasped suddenly. “Oh! Actually, wait, I have an idea. Let's be friends on UnderNet!" They could hear excited squealing on the other line. "Then you can just ping me when you need help!" 

Peter blinked. He looked at Harry, who shrugged with questioning eyes. Had Alphys forgotten that she’d already sent them a friend request? "Oh, uh, actually, Alphys,” Peter said, laughing lightly, “we're already friends on UnderNet! Remember?”

Alphys went silent. She was quiet for so long that they thought maybe she’d disconnected, but then she said, "Wait, we're...already friends?Yeah...I signed you up, didn't I? You...You've been reading my posts the whole time..." 

"Yup," Peter confirmed with a sheepish smile -- not that she could see it. There was another long pause as the lizard doctor processed everything that Peter and Harry had been privy to during her text spams. 

Then, in a very stilted voice, Alphys said, "Well! I hope! You agree with me! About Mew Mew 2!" 

"Oh, definitely," Peter assured her. “The sequel is never as good as the original.” 

Alphys made a cross between a satisfied hum and a goose honk, and then she quickly hung up. 

"Whoops,” Harry said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I hope she’s not too embarrassed. I’d freak out a bit too if I forgot that my friends could see everything I posted.” There had been many a time, he recalled, when he’d had to rein himself in from impulse-tweeting about his father, or the newest Pixar movie, or an inside joke literally no one but Peter would get. It was probably for the best if his entire Twitter audience  _ didn’t  _ see that.

“I think she’ll be alright,” Peter said. “I liked reading her posts! She had fun things to say.” He hoped that she wouldn’t be deterred from posting in the future, now that she’d remembered they could see everything. They didn’t mind, really! Reading Alphys’s messages was certainly a welcome distraction from whatever chaos they were usually experiencing along the road.

After Alphys’s call, the boys got to work on finding and solving the next two puzzles that would let them advance further. Just as Peter had boasted, the first puzzle -- another Galaga-esque, top-down shooter game -- served to be no obstacle. On their way to the second puzzle, which they’d determined was south of the first one, they passed two young monsters sporting colorful diamond-shaped heads. As they went by, Peter and Harry could hear a few snippets of the monsters’ very animated conversation. 

"My favorite Mettaton Moment?" the pink Diamond Head asked. "Right when everything looks the baddest, he poses dramatically. Like when he's on a cooking show and the eggs don't turn out right." 

"My fave Mettaton Moment is when he beats up the heel-turning villains!" said the green Diamond Head. "Even if it's during what's supposed to be a quiz show." 

Peter and Harry couldn’t keep from rolling their eyes as they continued on past the two squealing youngsters. 

"Ugh, Mettaton," Peter mumbled. "Even when he’s not here, he follows us everywhere.” 

Harry scowled. “I don’t know what anyone sees in him,” he muttered. “He’s not even that entertaining.” He adopted an exaggerated mimicry of Mettaton’s voice and waved his hands as he said, “‘Ooh, look at me, I’m Mettaton! I’m a robot with a sexy voice! I like tormenting people for no reason!’” Letting his hands drop back to his side, he shook his head and huffed. “I’m sick of being fodder for his dumb shows. If I see that smug set of yellow squares one more time…”

Harry stopped his minor rant when they reached the second puzzle, but only so that Peter could have complete concentration. Of course, he probably didn’t really need it, but it was appreciated anyway.

“Next time, how about I take a crack at it?” Harry said as they left the puzzle room. “I feel like I’m not helping enough. Like, I’m just kinda standing there while you solve ‘em.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! You’re a ton of help,” Peter exclaimed, slapping him on the shoulder. “You’ve been great moral support, pal. But you should definitely tackle the next one we come across! Show off your own gaming skills.” 

Harry smirked. “Think we’ll find a racing game?”

“Hah! If we do you’ll destroy it in a heartbeat.”

Harry was the unchallenged master of MarioKart, the King of Rainbow Road. If the Underground had any racing-oriented puzzles, there was no one better than Harry to complete it.

As the two turned to make their way back to where the set of doors would now (hopefully) be open and let them through, another call came in from Alphys. Slightly surprised but more than happy to converse more with their favorite lizard scientist, Peter put the phone on speaker and said, “Hey again!”

"Hey!” Alphys said. “Hey, so, uh. This um, doesn't have anything to do with guiding you...but..." From the way she hemmed and hawed, it seemed she was trying to gather up the courage to say something. 

"What is it?" Peter prompted gently. 

"Uhh...hey, would you want to, uh, watch my favorite human TV show together???" Alphys blurted. "Sometime?? It's called, um...M-Mew Mew Kissy Cutie… You might, uh, remember from...f-from Mettaton’s quiz show, heh…” She laughed nervously. 

"Hey, yeah!" Peter exclaimed. “I remember! We’d totally be down. Right, Harry?”

“For sure. We said we’d all hang and watch anime some time, right? We could start with Mew Mew!”

“R-Really?!" Alphys gasped. "O-Oh my g- It's so good!! It's um, my absolute favorite show!” Alphys took a deep breath, gearing up for what was undoubtedly going to be a long-winded explanation. “It's all about this human girl named Mew Mew who has cat ears! Which humans don't have! S-So she's all sensitive about them! But like...eventually! She realizes that her ears don't matter! That her friends like her despite the ears! It's really moving! Oh, whoops, spoilers! S-Sorry.” She giggled, then continued, “Also, this sounds weird, but she has the power! To control the minds of anyone she kisses! She kisses people and controls them to fix her problems!! They don't remember anything after the kiss, I mean! BUT IF SHE MISSES THE KISS!  _ THEN _ !!!" 

Peter and Harry were listening so raptly that they almost didn’t notice when Alphys caught herself going on and on, and she lowered her voice back to normal level, embarrassed. "Then, uh, and, uh, also I mean, of course...Eventually, she realizes that controlling people is- OKAY WELL I almost spoiled the whole show, but-" She took another deep breath. "Uhh, basically, I think you'd really like it!!!" she finished. "We should totally watch it! After you get through all this!" 

Peter couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Hearing their friend get so excited about something, letting herself speak with such passion and fervor...it was awesome. She was really opening up. It was like magic, getting to experience her growing more confident in herself and her interests. Could it really be all because of them? Because they’d let her guide them?

"Yeah, we'd love to, Alphys," Peter said warmly. "We'll definitely do that some time. Promise.” 

They heard a happy squeal from the other end. “R-Really? I mean..th-th-thank you…!” There were a few more unidentifiable noises, and then the ensuing dial tone told them that she’d ended the call. Peter laughed and put away the cell phone. He could feel a spark of energy radiate out through his body, and he wiggled his fingers in anticipation. Anticipation of moving forward, of making it home, of breaking the barrier once and for all. Alphys’s excitement was infectious!

"She seemed really happy," Harry said, a smile that matched Peter’s on his face. "I hope after all this is over...once we get home...that we can really find a way to get back here. I hope we can break that stupid barrier so she can come to the penthouse and we can watch Mew Mew on dad’s eighty-inch.” 

"Yeah, that'd be great," Peter chuckled. The thought of the three of them sitting together on Harry’s giant couch, munching on some popcorn, completely absorbed in a catgirl anime, was a wonderful thought indeed. It was just another motivator to get home and find a way to free everyone trapped beneath Mt. Ebott. They all deserved to explore the wonders that the Surface had to offer!

They kept that pleasantly rosy image in their minds as they made their way to the set of purple doors, which were now open thanks to Peter’s puzzle skills. 

_ Home’s not so far away now. I can feel it. _

One way or another, they’d get there. And then everyone else would, to.


	47. Spider Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gets his wish of meeting the other Underground spiders -- unfortunately, they don't believe him when he says he's one of them. The result is a hairy (or 'fuzzy') ordeal involving spiders, baked goods, and some dancing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I've waited to write this chapter for so long, lmao. Gotta love them spiders!!!

It didn't take them long to come across another yellow star after passing through the set of doors. Peter tapped it, and the big booming voice said, "The smell of cobwebs fills the air...you're filled with determination." 

"Cobwebs?" Peter asked, looking around. He spotted one up on the wall, a large and intricate one, under which was an entrance into what seemed to be another dark, cave-like area. 

"More spiders, maybe?" Harry wondered. 

"Maybe.” Peter grimaced as the image of the spidery woman they’d met just a few moments ago popped into his mind quite unwelcomely. “I just hope it's not that lady from before," he said. "She kinda creeped me out." He’d been hoping for some nice, friendly, non-bloodthirsty spiders to chat with, but hey, you win some and you lose some. As long as they didn’t end up like that guy with the donut, they’d probably be fine.

“It looks super dark in there,” Harry said, idly tugging at the bottom of his sweater. “Anything could be in there.” A thought popped into his head, and he scowled. “It could be another one of Mettaton’s ‘shows’.” Peter felt a cold chill pass through him at that notion.

“Yeah, but...it looks like this is the only way through,” he said finally, “so we might as well see what’s in store for us.”

They both took a few hesitant steps through the dark, yawning passageway, and immediately the temperature seemed to drop a good few degrees. There were a great many more cobwebs inside than in the past area; they covered the walls and nearly all of the floor, spread so thick that it was impossible to avoid stepping in them. 

“I may be a spider, but this is kinda gross,” Peter said, lifting his feet with a sticky  _ schlapp  _ noise. Harry wrinkled his nose and made a small noise of discontent. Realistically he knew he couldn’t feel the gloopy, stringy webs through the soles of his shoes, but his brain seemed keen on convincing him that he could. 

“ _ Someone  _ hasn’t been cleaning up around here.”

“Unless it’s by design,” Peter said, mostly to himself. It was still a very good possibility that several other spiders of the Underground called this specific passage their home.

As if to confirm Peter’s growing suspicions, the sound of tiny, chittery little voices suddenly seemed to come from everywhere around them all at once. Soft, breathy whispers and indecipherable words filled the air like the exact opposite of a large party’s buzzing din. 

A sharp tingle raced down Peter and Harry’s spines, sending goosebumps flaring up on all exposed skin and raising the hairs on the backs of their necks. It was an instantaneous reaction, one made more by the body’s inherent warning systems than any conscious effort. Still, it didn’t take longer than a second or two before their minds caught up with their bodies, and they looked around in great haste for the source of the eerie whispers. 

“What the  _ hell  _ is that?” Harry asked in a trembling whisper of his own. 

"Heeheehee," laughed the tiny voices. "Did you hear what they just said?" 

Peter and Harry huddled closer together as they continued searching frantically. Though it was hard, they also forced their legs to keep moving, figuring that it would be far better to get through quickly than stick around with whatever was in there with them. 

Looking briefly upwards, Peter noticed a group of spiders hanging from the ceiling. It felt for all the world like they were watching them, several sets of eight shining, beady little eyes all focused downward… From the moment he spotted the spiders, Peter had a strong feeling that the whispering voices were coming from  _ them.  _

“More spiders,” he murmured. “Looks like you were right, Har.” Well, that wasn’t really  _ so  _ bad, was it? Just because one spider monster had been somewhat unsavory didn’t mean all the others would be. Maybe they should try communicating with them, tell them they weren’t here to cause any trouble. Nip any possible issues in the bud.

Clearing his throat, Peter called up to the spiders as he and Harry continued to slowly pick their way through the ever-thickening coat of web on the floor. “Uh...h-hi there! Fellow spiders!” he said, painfully aware that his voice had cracked at least twice in such a short sentence. “I-It’s nice to meet you!”

"They said two humans will come through," the whispers continued to gossip, as if Peter hadn’t even spoken. Peter swallowed a tiny lump of nerves that had crawled up from his chest. They were now approaching a thirty-foot-long patch of pure cobwebs, no purple floor showing between the thick strands, and they had no choice but to start to wade through it as quickly as possible. It was slow going, though, and they had to push harder and harder with each struggling step to make any progress. 

“D-Don’t mind us,” Peter spoke up again as they slogged their way through. “I dunno what you heard, or from who, b-but just because we’re humans doesn’t mean we’re bad, y’know?” His voice rose up an octave or two as he completed his desperate question. 

"I heard they hate spiders," said one voice. 

_ Oh, no. _

"I heard that they love to  _ stomp  _ on them." 

_ Ohhh no. _

"I heard that they like to  _ tear  _ their legs off." 

"Oh, no," Harry mumbled hysterically, giving voice to Peter’s silent, frantic thoughts. 

The ominous air around them was starting to condense, filling their lungs with dread. These spiders were not here to be their friends, no matter how much Peter wanted the opposite to be true. Their wispy, whispery voices held nothing but contempt and distrust -- he could hear it. 

“Peter, we gotta get  _ out  _ of here,” Harry breathed, constantly flicking his eyes up to the ceiling, where more and more spiders were gathering. There were so many now that the ceiling, like the floor, was almost entirely obscured (albeit by little black bodies instead of web). 

Forcing themselves to pull their gazes back toward their destination, they both made to take another step -- and found that they could walk no further. Harry tugged at his leg, first with the leg itself, then with one hand, then with both. No use. Peter tried to wrench himself from the floor with pure brute strength, strength only a spider-boy could have. No dice. 

Try as they might, neither boy could not move another inch, nor could they even hope to begin to extract themselves from the web. They were stuck. 

The panic in them just about hit its boiling point as a raspy, stomach-achingly familiar voice rang out from the darkness directly in front of them. 

"I heard... _ that they're awfully stingy with their money. _ " 

A light snapped on in the darkness. There was the purple spider woman from before, sitting primly with her legs crossed in the center of a giant web of her own. She smiled cruelly at Peter and Harry, her many eyes narrowed into pleased slits that only thinly veiled the smoldering rage there. The other spiders gathered around them and laughed, skittering down from the ceiling and walls to surround both Peter and Harry in a sea of legs and eyes. 

_ Crap.  _ It appeared they were in for some trouble, after all.

“Uhhh, h-hi there!" Peter greeted, lifting an arm halfway to his side in an uncertain wave. “You’re, uh...you’re that lady from the bake sale, right? Good to see you again!” 

The spider woman huffed and clenched several of her fists by her side. “My  _ name  _ is Muffet,” she said. “And yes, you did stop by my bake sale -- and yet, for some incredibly rude reason, you didn’t buy a single thing!” The spiders around them booed loudly. 

"Hey, w-we're sorry we didn't buy anything,” Peter said, trying once again to pull his leg free and failing. “We just...we just don't have that kind of money, you know?" Harry vigorously nodded beside him, but didn’t add anything. If it was spiders they were dealing with, he figured it was better for Peter to do the talking. Maybe they’d be more understanding if they felt they were amongst a kindred spirit. 

Muffet sneered. "You really expect us to believe that filthy lie?” she asked. 

“What? N-No! That’s the truth!” Peter insisted. Rubbing at the back of his neck, he muttered, “I mean, no offense, Muffet, but your donuts are  _ way  _ overpriced _ . _ ” Muffet bristled, and Peter flinched. Yeah, that probably wasn’t the best thing to say, now that he thought about it.

“Don’t think we don’t know what’s REALLY going on here. You think your taste is too refined for our pastries, don't you, dearies?" She chuckled darkly, and her spiders tittered with her. "I disagree with that notion. I think your taste...is  _ exactly  _ what this next batch needs!" The little giggles turned into a deafening roar as thousands of spider voices rose as one.

Harry grabbed Peter’s sleeve tightly, as if it were a lifeline. Peter was a spider, so he’d be able to get them both out of this, right?  _ Right?  _ He felt himself starting to hyperventilate. With hyperventilation usually came hiccups, and Harry felt those creeping up his esophagus too. Despite his respiratory turmoil, Harry just barely managed to hiss, “Pete,  _ do  _ something!!”

Peter swallowed again as the circle of spiders pressed in even closer, but he forced himself to speak anyway.

"H-H-Hold on, Muffet, hold on!” Peter cried. "Y-You got us all wrong! Who told you we hate spiders? We don’t hate spiders! We love spiders!” We love spiders! In fact...” He briefly glanced down at himself, as if considering something. It only took a split second for him to decide that it was time to pull out the Big Guns. Peter took a deep breath. “I...It’d be crazy for us to hate spiders, because I’m a spider, too!” 

The chattering of the arachnids suddenly went quiet. Even Muffet herself had stopped snickering, instead tilting her head ever so slightly as she studied Peter with all five eyes. For a moment Peter dared to believe it had worked, and he smiled in what he hoped was a disarming and friendly way. 

Then the entire cavern erupted into laughter.

“ _ Nuts, _ ” Peter muttered.

“Ahoohoohoo!~” Muffet trilled, lifting a hand to her mouth to stifle her laughter. “I haven’t ever heard  _ that  _ one before!” Her spider lackeys squealed in delighted mockery.

“I’m not lying!” Peter whined. “I mean it! I can make web, and stick to walls, and-” He grumbled in frustration and tried yet again to pull himself free from the silk. “If you’d just let us  _ go,  _ I could show you.”

Muffet waved him off with a scoff. “I think I’ve heard enough prattle. You’re nothing but lying, cheap little humans! And there’s nothing we hate more than  _ cheapness. _ ” 

Peter and Harry wilted visibly. What the hell were they going to do now? If even Peter, with all his enhanced abilities, couldn’t free himself from the webbing, then…

"Don't look so blue, my dearies!" Muffet cooed, evidently noticing their miserable dispositions. "Why so pale? You should be proud~" 

“Proud?” Harry whimpered.

"Proud that you're going to make a delicious cake, eheheheh!!" 

Muffet pointed at them suddenly, and without warning, several spiders launched themselves at the boys from the tight circle of observing arachnids. Peter couldn’t choke down his startled gasp.

“LOOK OUT!!”

Even with their limited mobility, by some blessing they managed to crouch down enough that the assailing spiders flew right over their heads. The little creatures landed almost inaudibly on the web mat behind them, save for their squeaks of outrage. Muffet, laughing and clapping in pure delight, was now dancing around with some of the other spiders to some tune only they could hear, pirouetting on one toe with her other leg extended perfectly straight behind her. It would’ve been beautiful to watch if she wasn’t trying to kill them.

“Heeheehee!!~ Don’t get discouraged, my lovelies! Try again!” 

With their lady’s encouraging words, several more spiders attacked with their tiny legs and fangs outstretched. Some of them were even howling a battle cry, although it sounded rather funny coming from such tiny throats. 

"Please, please, you gotta believe us!" Harry cried desperately as he and Peter made jarring, somewhat painful dodging maneuvers to the sides. They snapped back into an upright position mere seconds later, but it had been enough to allow the group of spiders to pass right between them. "Pete's a spider! He wouldn't hurt any of you - a-and neither would I!” Harry hated how frightened he sounded, but then again, he’d become pretty used to hearing his voice quaver, after all they’d been through. “Please, let us go!" he begged. 

"Let you go? Don't be silly~" Muffet giggled, eyes glinting. "Your souls are going to make every spider very happy~" Apparently intent on getting in on the action herself, she produced several various baked goods from hammer space ( _ it still mystified Peter that some monsters could just DO that)  _ and began to hurl them toward the boys at a rapid pace. 

Being inanimate objects and not living creatures, these projectiles were much easier to dodge, but one donut did hit Peter in the chest. Thankfully, it bounced harmlessly off of him, and he sighed in relief. With how things sometimes went in the Underground, he’d half expected them to have some painful trick up their donut-y sleeves. However, his relief didn't last long. 

"Oh, how rude of me!" Muffet said brightly, putting four hands up to her cheeks. "I almost forgot to introduce you to my pet~ It's breakfast time, isn't it?” 

Peter and Harry glanced at each other with the same pitiable look. 

“Pet?” they mumbled in unison.

“Have fun, you three!~” Muffet snapped her fingers, and there was a loud rumble from somewhere back in the cavern. Five seconds later, the biggest spider either of them had ever seen came rushing out of the darkness, mouth open and fangs dripping green liquid, hurtling straight for them. Peter and Harry screamed. 

In the moments they had before the humongous monster set upon them and tore them limb from limb, Peter figured they had two choices. One, he could do some serious damage and perhaps keep it from coming after them a second time; or two, he could get creative. The first option went against their peaceful campaign through the Underground, so that was pretty much out of the question. The only problem remaining was:  _ how creative could he get? _

The thought struck him when it was literally bearing down on top of them, and he almost whooped in victory. Instead, he grabbed a hold of Harry as tightly as he could, making sure his grip was steady, and then fired two weblines at the charging spider. 

“Come on, come on,” he muttered under his breath, watching as the strands flew toward their mark. Miraculously, they landed right where Peter had wanted them: on opposite sides of the beast. As soon as they were anchored, Peter pulled the lines taut with one hand while keeping his grip on Harry -- then, as the giant spider finally reached them, he threw himself and his friend back with all his might. 

The desired effect was achieved. Though their backs cracked audibly from the sudden, violent strain of bending over backwards, the lumbering beast didn’t have time to adjust its trajectory and thus sailed clean over them. And, thanks to the immense momentum of such a large creature, the weblines Peter had secured to it were yanked forcefully. They were yanked  _ so  _ forcefully that they stretched and stretched and stretched, until they couldn’t stretch anymore, and subsequently ripped Peter and Harry right out of their webbed prison. The boys were quite literally slingshotted forward as they lost their grip on Peter’s webs, and they ended up crash-landing in Muffet’s hammock. 

_ I cannot believe that worked!! _

“I knew that would work!!” Peter cheered. He scrambled out of the web hammock and shot a victorious smirk at Muffet. “Hey! Muffet! Now do you believe me about being a spider?”

Muffet whirled around from where she’d been energetically cutting a rug with a small group of spiders near the back of the cavern. When she saw that Peter and Harry were no longer stuck, she gasped in fury.

“Oh!! How did you get out?!” she demanded, her purple face scrunching up into a pout. Peter gaped. She hadn’t seen that epic escape?  _ Seriously?  _

_ Of course. Figures. As soon as I provide some spidery proof, she’s not looking. _

Peter huffed and blew some hair up away from his forehead.  _ Whatever. _

“Forget it,” he said, waving his hand as Harry ungracefully stumbled out of the web to stand beside him. “We’re leaving. You guys have fun with your little spider dance party.” He lifted his chin and began to stride toward the opposite end of the room. “C’mon, Har, we’re outta here.”

Muffet glowered and jumped in front of them, snapping two sets of fingers as she did so. Immediately, a giant mass of spiders flowed toward the exit like a wave, congregating and conglomerating in such a way that the opening was completely blocked off. 

“Oh,  _ come  _ on!” Peter groaned.

“You’re not going anywhere, my dearies,” said Muffet sharply. “The person who warned us about you...offered us a LOT of money for your souls. Far too much to give up that easily.” She tilted her head and raised her eyes to the ceiling, as if remembering a fond memory. "They had such a sweet smile~" 

Peter had been about to fire back what would surely be a delightfully sassy retort, but the new revelations Muffet had just given them killed the words in his throat. Who the hell in the Underground had paid for this woman to assassinate them?? He shared a wide-eyed look with Harry, then flicked his gaze back to Muffet.

“Hey, uh, what did you just say?” he asked. “You- You wanna run that by us again?” The only person Peter could possibly think of that might pay Muffet and her legion to kill them would be Undyne -- maybe she hadn’t changed at all, and had instead resorted to more drastic methods to take them down. But...no, that didn’t seem like her. After everything they’d seen, however brutal she was, Undyne was too honorable to stoop so low. His mind briefly wandered to Mettaton, but that didn’t make complete sense, either. Sure, he seemed like he was trying to annoy them to death, but would he really go this far? He was a showman, and this was far from theatrical. 

But Muffet was apparently still reminiscing about whoever had that much beef with them (and that much money), paying no heed to Peter or Harry for the moment. "It's strange,” she mused, “but I swore I saw them in the shadows...changing shape...?" She shrugged. “Oh, well. I suppose it’s not my place to pry!” 

Shaking her head and pulling more baked goods from who-knows-where, Muffet stood on one tip-tope and hurled them at Peter and Harry, calling, “Oh, it's lunch time, isn't it? And I forgot to feed my pet~ Come along now, my dear!" 

Peter and Harry flinched as they heard an incensed roar issue from behind them. Turning around, they found that the giant spider -- who’d apparently knocked itself out briefly after missing its mark -- had gotten back to its eight feet and was now charging toward them once again. 

“Looks like Junior’s all done with his nap,” Peter said, widening his stance and hooking his arm with Harry’s. Harry had learned long ago not to question Peter when he grabbed his arm, so he simply whimpered, squeezed his eyes shut, and braced himself for whatever would come next. Everything would be fine, assuming Peter had a plan. 

Thankfully, Peter did have a plan. He waited until the giant, slavering spider was just five feet away, and then he jumped. He jumped straight up in the air, higher than any normal human boy his height and weight should be able to jump, which was yet another perk of not being a normal human boy. He jumped so high that they nearly brushed the cavern ceiling. When at last they began their quick descent, Muffet’s “pet” had already skidded into the opposite wall and was likely seeing stars.

“Well, that was a little easier than last time,” Peter said, brushing himself off and steadying his woozy friend. He felt bad for Harry, getting tossed and jerked around so much; Peter himself was used to darting back and forth, but Harry was looking pretty green. All the more reason for them to get out of that spider den as quickly as possible. 

“Are you done yet?” Peter asked Muffet, putting one hand on his hip and feigning a yawn. Muffet’s violet face turned red.

“Ooooh, you!” she hissed. “Don’t you have any respect for we spiders?!” 

“Sure! As long as ‘respect’ doesn’t entail us dying for your blood money,” Peter shot back.

“You don’t understand!” Muffet said, and for just a moment she looked desperate. It was gone in a flash, though, replaced with an expression of wistful smugness. “With that money, the spider clans can finally be reunited." 

"’Reunited’?" Harry asked, his voice shaking. “W-What...what do you mean?”

"You haven't heard? Spiders have been trapped in the Ruins for generations!" Muffet exclaimed. "Even if they go under the door, Snowdin's fatal cold is impassable alone. But with the money from your souls, we'll be able to rent them a heated limo~" 

So the spiders in the Ruins weren’t the same spiders in Hotland? Peter and Harry hadn’t even thought of that. The chilly temperatures of Snowdin would definitely flash-freeze any spiders that tried to set out alone. 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Peter said, knitting his brows, and he meant it. It must have been very difficult for the spiders to be divided like that. 

If that was what this commotion was all about -- simply trying to reunite the clans -- then maybe they could offer their services instead, with no need for an exchange of money (or death). It was certainly worth a try! 

“Hey, Muffet, I just had a great idea!” Peter exclaimed. Harry looked at him incredulously, and Peter gave him a thumbs-up.  _ Trust me,  _ he mouthed. Harry squinted, but nodded slightly. 

Turning back to Muffet, Peter continued, “If you’re worried about getting the spiders in the Ruins back here, what if we helped you out with that?” He began to move his hands animatedly as he described his impromptu plan, getting more excited about it the more he spoke. “L-Like, once we get to the Surface and break the Barrier, we can come back down with lots of blankets and baskets, a-and then we can go back to the Ruins, and all the spiders there can hop in the baskets and stay nice and warm on the journey to Hotland!!” He clasped his hands as he finished his spiel and grinned at Muffet, eagerly awaiting her response. She had to see this was a much better plan, right? There was no WAY she’d say no to that.

Muffet stared at him for a second or two, looking as if she were, at the very least, processing his proposal. For a moment, Peter had hope. Then Muffet began to laugh again, her high, shrill laugh, and several spiders beside her laughed as well. Peter’s grin dropped into a disappointed ‘o’. 

“What?! Why are you laughing?” he whined. “It’s not funny! We’ll do it, really! Even after all you wacky spiders put us through, we’d still be willing to do it, you know? We just wanna help. That’s what we’ve been trying to do this whole  _ time _ .” He tugged at his hair in frustration. 

Harry rubbed at his eyes, almost feeling the bags of terror and exhaustion forming. “Why am I not surprised,” he sighed. Peter had had a good idea, but this spider woman seemed far too delighted by masochism to even consider an alternative route. 

“You have got to be joking!” said Muffet, wiping actual tears of laughter from her two bottom eyes. “To think that you believe...that you would even get  _ close  _ to breaking the Barrier…!” She paused to laugh some more, apparently absolutely tickled by this prospect. Peter and Harry wore similar displeased expressions. This was nowhere near as amusing to them as it was to her.

At last she calmed down, and she settled her hands on her hips. “Why ever would we believe  _ you _ ? Humans have only ever harmed we monsters! And spiders, to boot. Crushing us, squishing us, washing us down drains…” She scowled, now. “We would have to be foolish to believe your empty promises.” Her scowl softened ever so slightly into a smirk, and she clasped two hands up by her cheek. “Besides, even if you  _ did  _ keep your word...we would be reunited, but we’d have no money! And that just simply won’t do.”

Peter gaped. “You care more about the money than possibly reuniting your clans peacefully?!”

“Not  _ more, _ ” Muffet corrected. “We care equally! After all, without that money, we’d be together, yes, but how would we support all our brethren? We need to sustain them somehow!” She giggled again. “And with all the leftovers? We could have a nice vacation. Or even build a spider baseball field~" 

“Why do you need a baseball field?” Harry demanded. “Can spiders even play baseball?” Going off his experiences with Peter, the answer was no, but maybe they’d be able to work something out. Size said nothing of skill (again, as Peter had shown). Then Harry shook his head violently. Why the hell was he thinking about spiders and baseball at a time like this?? 

“ _ Please,  _ Muffet,” Peter begged, his eyes wide and full of desperation. “We’re not lying to you. We’ll do it, we really will. Let us help you. We  _ will _ break the Barrier, and we  _ will  _ come back to get you out. We’ll get all the monsters out! Isn’t that right, Harry?”

“Uh-huh,” Harry said, glancing around nervously at the few spiders who hadn’t gone to block the exit as they milled about. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I-I mean- Yes. Yeah. L-Look, Muffet, I don’t blame you for being suspicious of humans and all, b-but we’re clearly not interested in hurting you. We haven’t fought back, h-have we?” He gestured with both arms vaguely. “Besides, even if you don’t believe us, is this really the best answer? Feeding us to your giant, drooling pet?” 

Muffet’s five eyes suddenly lit up, and Harry wished he could go back in time and shove his fist in his mouth to stop him from saying those damning words. 

“Oh, that reminds me!” Muffet squealed. “It's time for dinner, isn't it?" She laughed, and the large spider picked itself up from where it’d been recovering, whirling on Peter and Harry yet again. The anger glinting in its eyes was real and palpable, and it seemed to be saying,  _ This time, you’re going to regret ever messing with me.  _

"Ahhh, shit.” 

“What do we do now?” Harry asked tremblingly, this time grabbing onto Peter’s arm before Peter could grab his. “What do we do, what do we  _ do _ ?!”

“Easy,” Peter said, keeping his eyes trained on the spider blundering toward them. “We slide.” 

“Slide?” Harry squeaked, barely audible, but Peter was already moving. He dashed toward Muffet’s pet head-on, Harry shrieking as he stumbled alongside him, and for a minute it looked as if he were playing chicken with it. Then, right at the last second possible, Peter hit the floor, taking Harry with him as he slid impressively underneath the monster’s belly. Coincidentally, they skidded to a halt right at Muffet’s feet. 

“Oooo!: Muffet exclaimed, stomping her feet. "You're still alive? 

“What can I say? It’s a talent of ours,” Peter replied as he popped back to his feet and brushed off some of the earth and dust. Harry shakily stood up as well, trying to force down the bile rising in his throat alongside his heart.

“You are much more resilient than I thought,” Muffet hummed. Rather than remaining put off, though, a mischievous smile played across her face. “Oh, my pet, looks like it's time for dessert~" she said sweetly. Peter and Harry flinched. Peter gained a worried look, and he glanced quickly over at his best friend. Helt alright, but he wasn’t certain that Harry would be able to withstand another tango with the giant beast. He was not built for fast-paced combat situations, even if they were only dodging. But there was nothing to be done about it; the alternative was a gruesomely gory end.

However, just before Muffet’s spider monster could gather its wits for a fourth time, a small spider came scurrying in from the entrance to the purplish cavern. It was carrying a sizable piece of paper in two of its little legs, holding it above its head, and was making a beeline straight for Muffet. Surprised, Muffte held up two hands toward her pet and bent down to take the scrap of paper from the tiny messenger.

“Huh? A telegram from the spiders in the Ruins?" she said curiously, scanning the contents briefly. Peter and Harry jolted in place, just as surprised as Muffet herself, and they leaned in almost unconsciously as she read it in full. As soon as she’d finished, all of her eyes widened. "What? Oh, dearie me!” she gasped. 

“What is it?” Peter couldn’t stop himself from asking. Muffet looked up at the boys, and the expression on her face was so contrite that it legitimately startled them. 

“They're saying that they saw you two, back in the Ruins, and...even if you are stingy, you never hurt a single spider!”

_ Huh, you don’t say!!  _ Peter thought, but luckily he refrained from breaking out the sarcasm. Instead he said, “Well, I’m glad they decided to vouch for us!”

“Oh, thank God,” Harry breathed. He crouched down and began to comb his fingers through his hair, taking some small comfort in fixing the mess he knew it had become during the spidery scuffle.

“Oh my, this has all been a big misunderstanding~" Muffet said, shaking her head. 

"That's what we've been trying to tell you!" Peter said in exasperation. “We weren’t lying! And I wasn’t lying about being part spider, either. Look!” He held his wrists out to show Muffet, and even expelled some web toward the wall behind her. He figured that he might as well prove his claim, now that they were no longer in danger. 

_ Maybe she’ll feel extra bad for trying to kill a fellow spider. _

“Oh!” Muffet gasped. “Goodness! You really were telling the truth! A human that’s part spider...I...I didn’t know something like this was possible.” She sounded genuinely shocked for the first time that they’d known her, and Peter couldn’t help but feel somewhat accomplished. 

“I thought you were people who hated spiders," Muffet said at last, folding her many limbs neatly. "But it seems we were all terribly, terribly wrong. The person who asked for those souls...they must have meant DIFFERENT humans. Sorry for all the trouble~" She stepped aside, out of their path, and clapped her hands. Within moments, all the spiders that blocked the exit dispersed, some scuttling back up the walls to the ceiling, some coming to stand by Muffet and curiously peer up at the human who was partly their kin. A few even crawled over his sneakers, chattering in awe, and earning a good-natured laugh from Peter. He couldn’t help it; he couldn’t stay mad at his brethren! Even if they  _ had  _ tried to kill him.

“Alright, alright, guys,” he chuckled, bending down to gently shoo the spiders off his feet. Once he straightened back up, he said to Muffet, “We’ll let bygones be bygones, alright? No hard feelings.” Harry began to mumble something under his breath, but thought better of it and just nodded along with Peter. “Just...promise not to attack people for not buying your pastries, okay?” Peter continued. “As a favor to us?” 

“Mmmm...well…” Muffet hummed, tapping her chin. “Alright. I suppose that’s a fair deal.” 

“Awesome,” Peter said with a grin.

"And I'll make this all up to you," she continued. "You can come back here any time...and, for no charge at all...I'll wrap you up and let you play with my pet again!" Seeing their faces go deathly pale, she doubled over in laughter. "Eheheh! Just kidding~" Muffet turned around and waved away the rest of the spiders, and the little creatures raced back up the walls to join their other compatriots, leaving the boys alone with the spider woman herself. 

"That was fun!" she said happily, tittering in glee. “Be seeing you again, dearies!" With that, she patted them both on the shoulder, walked back to her web, and settled gracefully into the middle of it. As soon as she had, the light disappeared, plunging the far wall back into darkness. 

“O-Okay!” Peter called, unsure if Muffet was still there, or if she’d disappeared to wherever her spiderlings had gone to. “Thanks again for not killing us! We really appreciate it!” He paused, then added more genuinely, “And we will see you again, I promise. When we break that Barrier, all the spiders will be reunited again. You’ll see.”

“And then you can play on a regular baseball field,” said Harry, unable to resist. There was a small skittering sound from somewhere up above, and the boys immediately jumped. It was probably just the spiders bustling around, but they still thought it best to take their leave anyway.

“Well...bye!!”

And so, Peter and Harry speed-walked (though it was more like a straight sprint) toward the exit of the spidery tunnel. 

_ Well,  _ Peter thought as they went,  _ I finally got to meet the Underground spiders! They’re...DEFINITELY not like Surface spiders.  _

Still, he didn’t regret it, per say. He was pretty peeved that they hadn’t believed him in the very beginning, and the altercation with that giant beast had been pretty harrowing, but...hey, they made it out alive! And they’d come to a peaceful understanding with the Hotland spider clan. If that wasn’t a win, Peter didn’t know what was. 

But next time he encountered any large group of spiders, he’d be sure to demonstrate his abilities first. It would probably save them a lot of time, and headaches.


	48. Shakespeare, He Ain't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys emerge from the spiders' lair directly onto the set of Mettaton's play, where they are unwilling participants. Luckily, Alphys is there as always - remotely - to back them up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, almost to chapter 50! ;u; With the way things are going, I'm hoping to finish this up by early 2021. Hopefully we can reach that goal! <3

As soon as Peter and Harry emerged from the dark, cobwebbed cavern, a large, colorful poster on the nearby wall caught their eye. It depicted Mettaton holding one hand aloft as if in yearning, and beneath that it read, ‘A tragic tale of three star-crossed lovers, kept apart by the tides of fate’. 

"Oh. Oh, no. Not him again. Please,  _ anyone  _ but him," Harry whined. 

“There’s no way,” Peter said, shaking his head in awe. “We _just _got done foiling one of his stupid setups. There’s no way he got another one up this quickly.”

There was always the off-chance this really  _ was  _ just a play starring Mettaton, considering he was the Underground’s primary celebrity (for some odd reason), but the wording of the poster pointed to something far more sinister. And annoying.

Cautiously they made their forward, and upon moving to the next area they realized they’d entered a set from a play. The backdrop was painted to look like a quiet little town at night. A set of stairs led up to a catwalk made up to look like a fanciful balcony, or perhaps a castle tower, and on top of that balcony was-

"Oh? Those humans..." came a soft, lilting robotic voice.

"Noooo," the boys moaned together, looking up with identical winces. Sure enough, at the top of the balcony was...Mettaton. He was attired in a flowing blue dress with puffy sleeves, and little shiny sparkles twinkled in the fabric. As much as Peter hated to admit it, it was a gorgeous dress. He wouldn’t have minded having one like that himself, but he doubted Mettaton tell him where he’d gotten it from. He didn’t want to give the robot the satisfaction of asking, anyway.

"Could it be?" Metatton gasped, peering down at Peter and Harry. 

“What?” Harry asked flatly.

"My true loves have returned?" 

Harry’s eyes narrowed in complete displeasure, and with more vehemence he repeated, “ _ What. _ ” 

“Oh, my darlings! I’ve waited so  _ long  _ for you!” Mettaton cried, slowly making his way toward the top of the stairs.

“Okay, no. No, no,  _ no _ ,” Harry said loudly, stomping toward the opposite end of the stage with Peter in tow, “We are getting out of here. Right now. No plays, no ‘lovers’, no  _ nothing.  _ I am DONE with you.” With all the celebrity robot had put them through, Harry was at his breaking point. He couldn’t handle another flashy debacle. He just couldn’t. 

“Yeeeah, sorry, Mettaton, but we’re kind of in a rush,” Peter added, looking over his shoulder and lifting one arm in farewell. “Maybe next time-  _ oof _ !” He grunted in surprise as he and Harry slammed into something hard and invisible. “What the-?”

They placed their hands up against the thing and pushed, but whatever it was didn’t budge. It appeared that, for all intents and purposes, there was an impassable wall preventing them from leaving the set of Mettaton’s ‘play’. 

“Ohh, come  _ on! _ ” Harry wailed, slamming his fists on the invisible barrier. It just wasn’t fair! The one time they’d gotten a head start, and it was all for naught anyway. Whirling around and glowering up at Mettaton with a fierce scowl, he demanded, “Take this down right now. I swear to God, man, I’m not in the mood!”

“Sorry, Har,” said Peter reluctantly. “I think we’re gonna have to face this head on.”

Mettaton ignored the both of them as he daintily descended the stairs, holding up the hem of his dress so that he wouldn’t trip on it. Faintly, Peter and Harry could hear the quiet strains of elegant piano music coming from somewhere above. Mettaton soon reached the bottom of the staircase and slowly made his way to the center of the stage, not sparing a single glance for the bewildered boys on the right. The reason for that became clear when, upon making it to the middle, the music swelled and the robot raised his hand. 

Harry realized what was going to happen at the exact moment before it did. 

“Oh my God. There’s no damn way he’s gonna-”

Mettaton began to sing in the highest, shrillest voice he could manage. 

_ “Oh my loves _

_ Please run away.  _

_ Monster King _

_ Forbids your stay.  _

_ Humans must _

_ Live far apart _

_ Even if _

_ It breaks my heart.”  _

As Mettaton sang, he began to move around the stage, his blue gown flowing behind him like a wedding train. Pink rose petals suddenly blew in from the left side of the stage, somehow managing to miss Mettaton entirely and yet sticking to Peter and Harry wherever they landed. Harry peeled the petals off himself in disgust. Peter was vaguely aware of the irritating petals, but he was far too absorbed in watching the odd spectacle before him to bother with them at the moment. 

_ "They'll put you _

_ In the dungeon.  _

_ It'll suck,  _

_ And then you'll die a lot.  _

_ Really sad,  _

_ You're gonna die.  _

_ Cry cry cry.  _

_ So sad it's happening." _

He finished his dirge with a flourish of his hand, pulling it close to his chest and lowering his rectangle head. Silence weighed heavy in the fake night air. 

“Was that it?” Harry asked. His eye twitched. “Please tell me that was it.”

Mettaton finally turned to face them, and he rolled a little closer. "So sad," he concluded. "So sad that you are going to the dungeon.” 

Peter and Harry shared a look. There was silence again as they struggled to come up with something else to say. It wasn’t looking like he was going to remove the invisible blockade any time soon. What else was there to this whole thing, then? 

When thirty seconds had passed, Peter opened his mouth awkwardly. “Are w-”

“Well, toodles!" Mettaton exclaimed cheerfully. He whipped out a small, shiny remote control with one big red button in the middle. Mettaton pressed the button, and the floor beneath the boys fell away instantly. 

“AaaAGHHHHH!!”

They landed roughly on some hard-packed brown earth. The breath was knocked from their chests, as they’d landed on their backs, and it took a good minute or two for them to gain it back. 

"I really...hate that guy," Harry wheezed as he struggled to sit up. Peter just groaned. In the back of his mind, he’d been hoping that maybe they would be able to befriend Mettaton -- or, at the very least, get him to leave them alone like Undyne. But if they’d thought shaking Undyne was hard, it was nothing compared to  _ this.  _

Mettaton flew down to them through the trapdoor, and he hovered above, still attired in his sparkly outfit. "Oh no! Whatever shall I do?" he gasped theatrically, throwing his hands up. "My loves have been cast away into the dungeon. A dungeon with a puzzle so dastardly, my paramores will surely perish!" He pointed to the left. Peter and Harry warily followed his finger and saw, to their visible surprise, a rendition of the tile puzzle that Papyrus had given them much earlier, back in Snowdin. 

_ Oh. Well, that’s not so bad,  _ Peter reasoned.  _ Last time it was nothing. _

They stood up and brushed the dirt and debris from their clothes as Mettaton continued his spiel.

"Oh, heavens have mercy!" he cried. "The horrible colored tile maze! Each colored tile has its own sadistic function. For example, a green tile sounds a noise, and then you must fight a monster. Red tiles will...actually, wait a second.” He looked down at the boys. "Didn't we see this puzzle about a hundred rooms ago?" 

Peter blinked. 

"Uh...yeah. How’d you…?” He paused, then shook his head. “Uh, I guess that doesn’t matter.” Peter put his hands on his hips. “You’re late to the party, pal. We’ve been through all this before.”

“Yeah. Nice try, but maybe next time come up with something original,” said Harry with a flip of his hair. He was done trying to hide his irritation with the sweet-talking robot. Toriel had only told them to talk things out, not that they had to be nice about it all the time. 

"Ah, that's right! You remember all the rules, don't you?" Mettaton asked. 

The two faltered. “Uhhh…”

It had been so long ago, and it’d been pretty hard to keep all the tile functions straight even after just hearing them the first time...

"Ah...well...actually..." 

"Great!” Mettaton shouted. “Then I won't waste your time repeating them!" He cackled to himself, obviously pleased.

“Ah, damn.”

"This is bad," Harry muttered. “This is...pretty bad, I think.”

“Nah, we’ll be fine,” Peter said, hoping to rouse himself as well as his friend. “It was fine last time. This time can’t be all that different, right?” 

Harry sucked on his lower lip nervously. “I...guess so…”

"Oh, and you'd better hurry,” Mettaton added. “Because if you don't get through in thirty seconds..." There was a loud  _ whoomph  _ from behind Peter and Harry. They turned around to find that a long line of flaming apparatuses had ignited, the fire crackling and sizzling as little embers floated up into the air. "You'll be incinerated by these jets of fire!" Mettaton laughed hysterically, clapping his gloved hands as Peter and Harry yelped in terror. "Oh, my poor loves! I'm so filled with grief, I can't stop laughing!” the robot crowed. “Good luck, darlings!" 

The boys would’ve panicked if they could have, but there was just no time. They immediately raced to the puzzle, which, to their horror, had arranged itself in an entirely different configuration from Papyrus’s puzzle in Snowdin. Whereas that one had been a red and pink cakewalk, this puzzle was a literal mess of color. Try as they might, they just couldn’t remember which tile did what, and what order they had to step on them. What's more, they were very distracted by Mettaton's singing, which had grown far more malicious and guttural. 

_ "Oh my loves  _

_ Have fallen down.  _

_ Now in tears _

_ We all will drown. _

_ Colored tiles _

_ Make them fools.  _

_ If only they _

_ Still knew the rules.”  _

"You didn't even bother to tell us!" Harry yelled. "This isn't fair! This whole thing is rigged!" Unfortunately, even if that were true - which it definitely was - that did nothing to help them solve the puzzle. They still hadn't made a single step across when the thirty second timer hit zero. Mettaton would have smirked if he’d had a proper face.

_ “Well, that was _

_ A sorry try.  _

_ Now let's watch _

_ Them fry!" _

Mettaton zipped over to hover above them again, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "Oooh, I'm so sorry! Looks like you're out of time!" The wall of flames behind them began to creep toward Peter and Harry, accompanied by a previously unseen fire wall moving in from the other side of the puzzle. 

“Holy shit-!”

Peter tensed his legs and made to grab Harry and to spring out of the way, but the jets were too fast. The two walls drove them to the center of the room, where they helplessly squeezed as close together as possible. There had to be a way out, there had to be a way out, there  _ had to be- _

"Here come the flames, darlings!" Mettaton taunted, watching from above and looking particularly sinister even in his dress. 

“Come on, Mettaton!” Peter shouted desperately. “This is low, even for you!”

“I don’t know  _ what  _ you’re talking about,” Mettaton replied.

Peter narrowed his eyes and pouted, but his attention was soon recaptured by the ever-advancing danger. The walls were so close now he could feel sweat beading on his neck. From the look of Harry, he was experiencing something similar. Peter’s spider sense was screaming at him, banging cymbals together and telling him  _ Move, you dumbass!!  _ But he couldn’t. The walls stretched off too far to dodge left or right, and Mettaton was blocking their escape through the top. 

What were they supposed to do?

“This sucks," Peter said. “If this kills us, I’m gonna be so disappointed.”

"They're closing in!" Mettaton said. He still sounded giddy, but there was a note of something else in his voice. Anticipation? Confusion? He seemed to be waiting for something more to happen. "Getting! Closer! Oh my!" he exclaimed. Still, nothing happened. When fifteen more seconds had ticked by, he called, "Any minute now!!!" Mettaton’s voice was more noticeably irritated, now, as if the flames were misbehaving. Indeed, it seemed as if they’d stopped mere inches from the two boys, hovering in place and refusing to get any closer.

Peter and Harry, belatedly realizing that they were not yet burning in agony, slowly opened their eyes, which had been shut tightly a minute or so ago. They chanced a look up. Mettaton was still hovering, but his hands were placed on the puffy hips of his dress, and his yellow screen flashed red every few seconds. 

_ What the hell…? _

It wasn’t like Mettaton to hesitate. Not when they were this close to being annihilated quite painfully, which was what he seemed to be aiming for. What was holding him back? Maybe a malfunction with his little trap…?

Mettaton coughed, loudly, purposefully. Peter and Harry’s phone rang. 

“Answer it, answer it!!” Harry yelped. He and Peter both fumbled for the phone in a frenzy of limbs. Harry grabbed it out of his friend’s pocket first and thrust it into Peter’s hands. 

"Alphys, we could use some help!" Peter called into the phone. There was no need to ask who it was this time; there was no doubt that their lizard friend was on the other end, ready to get them out of yet another pickle. 

"Watch out! I'll save you!" Alphys declared. "I'm hacking into the firewall right now!" A few seconds later, the flames on the large wall of jets sputtered, flickered, and finally died. All that was left of the death trap were a few embers and wisps of smoke curling up toward the ceiling. Peter and Harry slumped to the floor, exhausted. 

“This close,” Peter sighed, holding up his hand with his thumb and forefinger an inch apart. “We were this close to being barbecued.” The boy shook his head in shame. “I should’ve gotten us out of here before we did that stupid puzzle.”

Up above, Mettaton had placed his hands to his head in perceived anguish. "Oh no!!! How could this happen??" Mettaton exclaimed, his voice rising and falling with a very practiced air. "Foiled again by the brilliant Doctor Alphys!" For a moment there was only the sound of Peter and Harry’s labored breathing as they tried to regulate it. Mettaton paused as if waiting for something again. A few more seconds went by. Crossing his arms and letting out a little robotic huff, he began to say something.

"Tha-"

"That's right!!!” Alphys interjected quickly. “Come on, Mettaton, give up already! You'll never be able to defeat us… Not as long as we work together!" 

Peter smirked despite his rapidly beating heart, and he stood up from the floor to address Mettaton. "Yeah, you walking junkyard!” he said. "Nice try, but we've got Alphys on our side!" 

Harry got to his feet a moment later, and he pointed a finger directly at the hovering monster.

“You better stop dicking with us, you hear?” he shouted. “We’re sick of you!! Isn’t it obvious by now that Alphys is way more of a match for you than you are for us?” He sniffed and tugged the hem of his sweater down, straightening out a small rumple.

Peter nodded. “I mean, seriously, dude,” he said. “You’re more persistent than any minor villain I’ve ever faced. But you lose just as often.” He grinned. 

"You're puzzle's over," Alphys said authoritatively. "Now go home and leave us alone!" 

"Puzzle? Over?" Mettaton asked. He laughed. "Alphys, darling, what are you talking about...? Did you forget what the green tiles do? They make a sound, then you have to fight a monster.” He looked down at the boys. “Well, darlings..!" Mettaton paused, just now taking in Peter and Harry’s smug, self-assured smirks. "Well, well, well. Welly well well. Well welly well well, well well welly. You never stepped on a green tile." 

"Exactly! So get lost," Harry said. “Go on, shoo. You have no business sticking around.” 

Mettaton gazed at the two of them, apparently thinking long and hard. 

"...And now you're going to die." 

He literally dove toward the ground at a frighteningly fast pace, eliciting genuinely startled shrieks as he landed mere meters from them. In one swift motion, Mettaton de-robed himself and flung the glittery dress aside. Peter was silently more grateful than ever that Mettaton was a genital-less robot in that instant. Neither he nor Harry wanted to see anything like...well, like  _ that.  _

However, with all danger of being flashed gone, they were free to focus on the very real and imminent danger of being sliced, diced, or whatever by the chortling robot in front of them.

"This is it, darlings!” he gloated as he held up his hands, no doubt preparing to transform them into weapons of mass destruction. Robots could do that, right? “Say goodbye!"

Their phone rang again. Apparently their call had accidentally gotten disconnected in the time it took for Mettaton to face off with them, but neither boy had noticed, and right now they were too focused on Mettaton to hear the ringing. Mettaton, however, certainly did notice, and he lowered one hand to point toward Peter’s hand, which still clutched the phone loosely. 

"Say, is that your phone? You'd better answer it!" 

“Wha?”

Peter and Harry both looked down, and the realization hit them that Alphys had been so quiet not because she had nothing to say, but because she’d gotten cut off.

“Oh!!”

Not bothering to stop and wonder why Mettaton would urge them to answer a call he  _ had  _ to know would lead to his downfall, Peter hit ‘accept’.

“Sorry, Alphys! We didn’t realize the call disconnected." He glanced up at the monster across from them. “Any tips to send this jackass packing?” 

"S-Sure thing!” Alphys exclaimed. “Th-This seems bad, but don't worry! Th-There's one last thing I installed on your phone...! You see that yellow button?" Peter and Harry peered closer at the phone, and sure enough, their eyes found a small yellow button near the bottom of it. Peter thought it strange that they hadn’t noticed it before.

"Hey, yeah! Has that always been there?" 

"Press it!!" 

Peter obeyed without question, practically slamming his index finger into the little button. As soon as he did, the phone began to resonate, vibrating in his hand. Its antenna grew, and Alphys said, "Press it again!" This time the phone rumbled even more, shaking so much that Peter was sure he’d lose his grip on it. Thankfully he managed to somehow keep it steady, and after a moment or two more of shaking, the elongated antenna shot out some kind of laser beam straight toward the fanciful robot. It hit Mettaton directly in the center of his screen.

"Oooh! OOOOH!" Mettaton screeched, throwing his hands to the sides of his head in as dramatic a fashion as they’d come to expect from him. "You've defeated me!! How can this be, you were stronger than I thought, etc." 

Strangely, the longer he spoke, the more flat his intonation became, until his final few words - words that, traditionally, would be a villain’s outraged cry of anguish - were literally just mumbled under his breath. As soon as Mettaton had finished his spiel, he turned around abruptly and just...wheeled away. No crying, no screaming, no fanfare. He just left, heading over the bridge that led to the now-defunct tile puzzle and disappearing from sight. Within moments, it was like he was never there at all.

Peter shared a bamboozled look with Harry.

_ Uhhh...what was that? _

This didn’t make any sense. After  _ all  _ this time,  _ all  _ these schemes,  _ all  _ this effort... _ this  _ was how Mettaton went down? A single shot from an unidentified laser blast and the most bored-sounding monologue in the history of villains? Peter knew not every antagonist was a theatrical one, but Mettaton had proven himself time and again to be a showman, and this was the antithesis of that. Not that they were upset he’d left so easily, or anything; it was certainly a relief not to have to engage him like they had Undyne. It just..didn’t add up, was all. 

Peter and Harry did their best to shrug off their unease at Mettaton’s exit, instead turning their focus to the excited sounds coming from their phone. Their apprehension was replaced with smiles as Alphys finally got her thoughts together.

"L-Looks like you beat him!!" she cheered. "Y-You did a really great job out there." 

"All thanks to you," Peter said gratefully. “You were amazing, Alphys! You had great foresight with that laser!”

"We'd probably be dead without you," Harry agreed. He laughed. “Actually, there’s probably no ‘probably’ about it. I’d say we’d definitely be dead by now without your help.”

"What?” Alphys stammered. “O-Oh no, I mean...you were the ones doing everything cool!" she insisted. "I just wrote some silly programs for your phone, heh.” 

“Don’t sell yourself short!” Peter said. “You’ve helped us more than we could ever repay. Seriously. Thanks, Alphys.” He hoped she could hear the smile in his voice across the cellular waves.

Alphys was quiet for a little while. They knew she was still there because they could hear her light breathing. 

“Um...h-hey, this might sound strange, but...c-can I tell you something?" she asked after several beats of silence. 

"Of course.”

She took a deep breath. "...B-Before I met you two, I d-didn't really...I didn't really like myself very much,” Alphys confessed. “For a long time, I f-felt like a total screw-up. L-Like I couldn't do a-anything w-without...w-without ending up letting everyone down.” 

“Ohh, Alphys-”

“B-But! Guiding you has made me feel...a lot better about myself. Like...a lot. So...thanks for letting me help you," she finished timidly. 

"Hey, of course," Peter said kindly. “We're really happy to hear that. We're your friends, you know? And we'll support you no matter what. Without you, we couldn't have done half the things we did.” 

"I know how it is to, uh...to feel like you're a disappointment,” Harry added after a moment. “It feels...it feels awful.” His voice grew firm. “But you're not, Alphys. You're one of the smartest people we know, and I know I speak for both of us when I say that we're glad you're here to help us out. So, again...thank you." 

Small, quiet noises that sounded a bit like choked sobs came from Alphys’s end of the line. For a moment the boys worried that maybe they’d overwhelmed her, or maybe said something wrong. Was it too much all at once? They’d wholeheartedly meant every word. Hopefully Alphys knew just how genuinely they cared for her. 

“Alphys?” Peter asked gently.

"I-I’m fine!” she blurted. “I-I just- Th...thank you.” She whispered the last two words. Just as soon as they’d left her mouth, she barreled on ahead. “Uhh, anyway, we’re almost to the Core! It's just past MTT Resort.” 

“Wow, really?” Peter asked excitedly. “That’s great! We’re really almost there.”

“Y-Yeah! Come on, guys! Let's finish this!" 

"Yeah!" Peter and Harry cheered. Alphys hung up with a click, and they turned toward the bridge that would presumably lead them to ‘MTT Resort,’ whatever that was. It was probably a resort of some kind, judging by the name - obviously - but Peter wondered what the MTT stood for. A brand name, maybe? A monster brand name? He supposed they’d find out. 

“Alright, Har,” said Peter, heading for the bridge with his head held high. “Let’s finish this, just like Alphys said.”

“Hell yeah! It’s about time.” He smirked as they crossed over the gray tiles of the deactivated puzzle. “And with Mettaton out of our hair, it should be a much straighter shot.”

“God, I really hope so.”

Something about Mettaton’s retreat still didn’t sit right in the pit of Peter’s stomach. It had been almost  _ too  _ neat and tidy. Plus, there was still the mystery of his strange, anticlimactic exit. 

_ I guess we’ll just see what the future holds,  _ he thought to himself.  _ And even if he DOES have something else up his robotic sleeve, we’re prepared. As long as we have Alphys, he doesn’t stand a chance.  _

Now, more than ever, he believed that.


	49. Dinner with a Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a brief reencounter with Heat Flamesman (whose name Peter and Harry did not forget), they finally happen upon MTT Resort, where a familiar face is waiting. During a dinner which isn't really quite a dinner, they learn that Sans's coincidental appearances haven't been so coincidental after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness, guys! Halloween was a long day, and then yesterday I had a migraine all day, so no writing got done ^^" But I was able to finish it up today, so here it is! Hope you enjoy!!

In a pleasing turn of events, passing by the defunct puzzle led Peter and Harry right back to one of the main areas of Hotland. The guards they’d encountered earlier were there, standing side by side and sharing some ice cream. They looked very happy. Before Peter and Harry could consider whether they should say hello or not, the horned guard noticed them and gave a cheerful wave. 

"Oh, hey. We're, like, taking a rain-check on that killing you thing,” he called, lifting his visor briefly to take another lick of ice cream. “Like, don't tell Undyne about this, okay?" 

Immediately, both Peter and Harry relaxed, and they offered the guards a grin. "We won't, don't worry," Peter promised. “You guys have fun.”

With another wave, the horned guard returned to his ice cream and his newfound boyfriend, and Peter and Harry continued on. Then, out the corner of his eye, Peter just so happened to catch sight of a very familiar little monster. A grin came over his face.

“Well hello there,” he said, walking up to Heat Flamesman. “We remember you!” Heat perked up at the sight of them; clearly they remembered them, too. 

"Hey, hey! You!” Heat squealed. “You remember me! But! Did you remember my _ name _?" 

"We sure did," Harry said proudly. This was far too easy. "It's Heat Flamesman." Heat gasped. Their eyes went comically wide and their jaw nearly hit the floor, their whole body going into a rigid state of shock. They couldn’t really have expected Peter and Harry to forget something so simple, could they?

"Wh-WHAT?! You REMEMBER?!” Heat wailed. They sounded absolutely crushed. “I don’t...no…NO! How could I be so easily _ defeateeeeeeeed!? _"

The boys glanced at one another in surprise. This was not the reaction they’d expected.

_ What the hell? _Harry mouthed. Peter shrugged, turning to regard Heat again.

“Hey, uh...it’s okay, buddy,” Peter said kindly, but Heat had already gone into full crisis mode. They dropped to their knees and put their hands to their head, wailing incoherently about defeat and names and how ‘people remember too much nowadays’. Peter tried to bend down to give them a comforting pat, but thought better of it when his hand was nearly singed just by coming close to Heat’s flaming body. He settled for a sympathetic noise instead. 

“Hey, don’t feel too bad,” Harry offered when Heat had carried on for a good two minutes and showed no signs of stopping. “It doesn’t mean we defeated you. It means we like you! We’d only remember your name if we thought it was important, right?”

Heat paused in their theatrics. Their face contorted and twisted as they mulled over the possibility that Harry was right. 

“Well...I...I guess, when you put it that way…” 

Harry nodded encouragingly. “See? It’s not a bad thing. C’mon, don’t cry over it.”

Heat Flamesman sniffled and wiped at their flaming face. “I...okay. Maybe, from now on...people really _ should _remember my name.”

“There ya’ go!” Peter cheered. “We’ll see you around, okay?”

He and Harry waved to Heat, whose distraught appearance had quickly morphed into the pleased smirk they usually wore. 

“Okay!!! See you!!” Heat called, jumping up and down. “Remember my name, okay?? Remember it!! This time I _ mean _it!! For real!!” 

The boys quietly chuckled to themselves. After that little ordeal, they were pretty certain they’d never for the name of Heat Flamesman.

Traveling for another five minutes or so, Peter and Harry came upon another building. This one was even bigger than Alphy’s lab; from the look of the outside, it appeared to be some sort of grand hotel. 

_ Wait. Hotel...Didn’t Alphys say something about a hotel? _

“Hey, kids.” The low, casual voice of Sans the skeleton caught their attention before Peter could voice his thoughts. He was standing by the doorway, casually leaning against the brick exterior of the fancy resort.

“Sans!!”

They raced to greet him eagerly. Peter was glad to see him again; he’d been briefly worried that they might not get to say goodbye before they made it to the castle. 

_ Seems like he’s everywhere lately! And thank goodness for that. _

“Sans, what’re you doing here?” Harry asked for what was probably the third or fourth time. “Do you have a job at this hotel or something, too?”

Sans laughed and shook his head. "Nah, I’m done with work for the day. I just heard you're going to the Core and wanted to hang before you did. How about grabbing some dinner with me first?" 

"Sounds great," Peter said immediately, and Harry sighed audibly in relief. 

"I'm starving,” Harry said. "And honestly, I could use some down time. All this running around and dodging spiders and robots is giving me leg cramps.” 

"Great, thanks for treating me," Sans said pleasantly. He saw how white they turned and laughed again, lifting up on his tiptoes to slap Peter’s shoulder with a bony hand. "Just kidding, just kidding, pal. Over here. I know a shortcut." He motioned with his head, then turned and turned the corner of the building. Harry shot Peter a short, relieved look, which his friend was echoing. He seriously did not have the funds to treat anyone to dinner; certainly not after paying for an entire college education just hours earlier. 

Realizing they were getting left behind, they quickly tore off after Sans. As soon as they rounded the corner, though, they stopped -- Sans was gone. Peter blinked.

“Uh...Sans?”

“I don’t get it,” Harry said, puzzled. There was nowhere else he could’ve gone. “Where did he-?”

And then they were sitting at a table inside a very, very fancy restaurant. Seemingly only a single second had passed, and yet they’d gone from confusedly looking around an alley to...wherever this was. Presumably it was just inside the resort they’d come upon, but how-?

"Well, here we are,” Sans said, and they jumped. 

“Wahh!!” Peter yelped. “Sans? H-How did you...how did we…?” He looked around hopelessly. The other patrons, seated at various tables around the dining room, didn’t seem bothered by their sudden appearance. Sans was similarly nonplussed. In fact, the only ones startled by what had just happened were the boys themselves.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Sans said, waving a hand. “I told you I know a shortcut, didn’t I?”

“Well, yeah,” Harry protested, “but you didn’t-” He gestured helplessly for a bit and stuttered out some incomprehensible noises. Eventually he gave up, sighing and resting his elbows on the white linen cloth covering the round table. “Never mind. It probably doesn’t really matter.”

Sans chuckled again, then leaned his arm on his own side of the table and affected a very conversational tone, idly scratching a finger against his skull. “So. Your journey's almost over, huh?" 

"Yeah," Peter said, moving his shoulders up in a little amazed shrug. "It's kind of surreal, honestly. It feels like so long ago that we got here, and yet..." Peter shook his head. “It also feels like no time has passed at all.” 

"I feel ya’, bud,” Sans said. “You must really wanna go home." 

"God, do we," Harry said. Quickly backpedaling, he added, "I mean, it's not that we don't love all the friends we made down here. A-And we don’t wanna leave you guys. It's just..." Damn, it was so hard to find the right words. Harry bit his lip, hoping that Sans wouldn’t misconstrue their eagerness to go home as an eagerness to leave him in the dust. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Sans held up a hand and closed his eye sockets. "Hey, I know the feeling, buddo. You don’t gotta explain anything to me.” Sans opened his eyes again, and he looked contemplatively across the table at the young human boys. “Though...maybe sometimes it's better to take what's given to you. You know? Down here you've already got food, drink, friends…” The chubby skeleton gave a little laugh. “Is what you have to do...really worth it?" 

Peter and Harry looked down at the table silently. Neither really knew just what to say at that moment. What _ could _they say that wouldn’t sound pretentious, or whiny, or plain stupid? 

Sans glanced over at the wall. "...Ah, forget it," he said finally, waving his hand. "I don’t mean to put you on the spot like that. If I were you, I’d wanna get back to where I was from, too. I'm rootin' for ya', kids." 

More than slightly relieved, Peter and Harry looked back up at him and offered weak smiles. "Thanks, Sans," Peter said gratefully. “We… It means more than you could know.”

And it really did. There was no real reason why Sans should be so kind to them; looking at it from the perspective of many of the other monsters they’d met, it would only make sense for Sans, too, to be suspicious and mistrustful of humans. And yet, when he’d had them at their most vulnerable, back there in the Snowdin forest outside the Ruins...he’d spared them. Sans had claimed it was laziness, but was it? _ Really? _Peter found it hard to believe that that was the only reason. 

And then, not only had he let them go and helped them start their friendship with Papyrus, but he’d also started popping up all along their route to the capitol. Sure, maybe he had other jobs that required him to move through the different area -- that wasn’t such a hard thing to believe. But he showed up nearly _ everywhere _they went. Like, for instance, outside the MTT Resort just a mere ten or fifteen minutes ago. What were the odds of that? Why would he be there except to perhaps give them a morale boost? 

_ Okay, maybe that’s a bit self-centered to think, _Peter conceded. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that Sans was following them, somehow; making sure he was there when they entered a new place, ready to lay down the ropes or take them aside for a quick breather. It had happened too many times to be coincidental anymore. 

Sans nodded, and he took a closed-mouthed sip from the ketchup bottle that definitely hadn’t been on the table two seconds earlier. For a short while, all three were quiet, sitting in the comfortable low hum of the restaurant.

"Hey,” Sans said, and his voice was much, much quieter than it had just been. Peter and Harry looked up with wide, attentive eyes. A tone change like that was certain to command their full attention. “Let me tell you a story." 

“Sure, Sans,” Peter said, and he felt like his voice should be equally as soft. Harry simply nodded, almost afraid to speak lest he break the atmosphere forming around the table. 

Their skeleton friend settled back in his chair, kicking one leg up so that it crossed over his other knee. "So I'm a sentry in Snowdin Forest, right?” he began. “I sit out there and watch for humans. It's kind of boring.” Peter and Harry nodded again. They remembered Sans’s job well. “Fortunately, deep in the forest...there's this HUGE locked door. And it's perfect for practicing knock-knock jokes,” he continued. 

Peter felt his ears prick up. Not literally, of course, but metaphorically. His focused attention became even more rapt, and beside him he felt Harry lean in. His friend’s foot nudged his under the table, and Peter gave him a quick look out the corner of his eye. He knew exactly what Harry was thinking.

_ A door. _What other door did they know in Snowdin forest besides…? 

“So one day, I'm knocking 'em out, like usual,” said Sans, apparently oblivious to their reaction. “I knock on the door and say, 'Knock knock'. And suddenly, from the other side...I hear a woman's voice. '_ Who is there? _'” He affected a high, sweet tone (well, as best he could) as he imitated the voice he’d heard.

_ Oh my God. _

Peter felt his heart leap up toward his throat in a joyous dance before crashing back down to the pit of his stomach. Harry grabbed his hand and squeezed. Peter could feel him trembling lightly. He squeezed back, reassuringly, although inside he was struggling not to break and show the emotion building in his gut. 

“So, naturally, I respond: 'Dishes'. '_ Dishes who? _ ' 'Dishes a very bad joke.'” Sans’s grin got even wider, like it always did when he found something particularly funny or pleasing. “Then she just _ howls _with laughter. Like it's the best joke she's heard in a hundred years." A fond look came over his face as he reminisced. 

Harry felt Peter’s firm, reassuring grip on his hand, but it didn’t make the butterflies whizzing around his stomach settle down any. This was just too much. It was her, it was her, it _ had _to be her. No one else went up to the door of the Ruins from the other side except for Toriel and the humans that left through it each time. Sans had to have been talking to her. There was no other explanation, and yet the thought of it seemed too surreal to be true.

Sans went on after he’d paused for a long moment or two. He still seemed unaware of Peter and Harry’s states, or maybe he was just kind enough not to say anything. "So I keep 'em coming, and she keeps laughing,” he said, tenting his bony fingers. “She's the best audience I've ever had. Then, after a dozen of 'em, SHE knocks and says, '_ Knock knock! _ ' I say, 'Who's there?' _ 'Old lady! _ ' 'Old lady who?' ' _ Oh! I did not know you could yodel! _ '” He laughed, a full body laugh this time, and the bottoms of his eye sockets squinched up in delight. “ _ Wow _. Needless to say, this woman was extremely good." 

The thought of Toriel and Sans telling jokes across the door to the Ruins elicited a feeling that was equal parts gleeful and heartbreaking. If it even truly was Toriel. Part of them already knew the answer, but another, deeper part was afraid to believe it.

"We kept telling each other jokes for hours. Eventually, I had to leave. Papyrus gets kind of cranky without his bedtime story. But she told me to come by again, and so I did. Then I did again. And again.” Sans chuckled. “It's a thing now. Telling bad jokes through the door. It rules." He looked back at the wall again, apparently thinking. When he next spoke, his tone was somber. "...One day, though, I noticed she wasn't laughing very much.” 

Peter winced involuntarily.

_ Ah, no. _

“I asked her what was up. Then she told me something strange.” He cleared his throat, and once again made his voice high and soft. “'_ If two humans ever come through this door...could you please, please promise me something? _'" 

Peter and Harry felt a twinge in their stomachs. Harry thought maybe he’d be sick. He hoped he wouldn’t; throwing up in such a fancy restaurant would be so embarrassing.

"'_ Watch over them, and protect them, will you not? _'” 

Peter and Harry met eyes fully, now, and Peter knew that the look he saw on his friend’s face was the same one he himself wore. Almost unable to bring himself to do it, Peter mouthed, ‘_ Toriel. _’ Harry nodded imperceptibly, his eyes shining with a wetness that he couldn’t hold back. It was her. Their sweet, sad goat mother had designated Sans as their protector. Even after the heartache they’d put her through, even after they’d walked out of her life, she still asked for Sans to watch over them. 

It was almost too much.

“Now, I hate making promises,” Sans said seriously, fixing the boys with an unreadable look. “And this woman, I don't even know her name. But...someone who sincerely likes bad jokes...has an integrity you can't say 'no' to." He went silent for another moment. They watched him across the table. Was he feeling the same thing they were? Knowing they could never be with Toriel the way they truly wanted to? 

Harry hoped that Sans wouldn’t notice the redness forming around his eyes. The last thing he wanted was to turn the focus onto himself and Peter. Then they’d have to explain why they were acting so strange, and that would just be impossible. 

For some voiceless, unknown reason, neither Peter nor Harry could bring themselves to speak about Toriel to anyone. Not Sans, not Papyrus, not Alphys… And they just couldn’t explain why, not even to themselves. The best either boy could privately come up with was that Toriel and what they experienced in the Ruins felt _ sacred, _somehow. Like, if they brought her up, then they’d be questioned about why they’d left, and why she was there, and who she was, and they weren’t quite ready for all that just yet. 

Besides, Toriel seemed to be living in the Ruins for a reason; regardless of what it was, they got the feeling that she didn’t want anyone to know she was there. Speaking about her to their other monster friends might betray her trust and bring unwanted attention. So, for the time being, they had resolved silently yet unanimously to keep Toriel to themselves.

"Do you get what I'm saying?" Sans finally asked, breaking the heavy silence that had settled like a thick blanket. "That promise I made to her...you know what would have happened if she hadn't said anything? ...Buddy." Sans closed his eyes again, and they stayed closed for a good ten seconds. When they opened again, the two tiny pinpricks of light that acted as his pupils were gone. Just...totally gone. In their place was an inky blackness so deep that it made Peter and Harry legitimately uncomfortable to look into. When Sans next spoke, his voice was so chilling that it sucked the warmth right out of the air around the table.

"**...Y o u ' d b e d e a d w h e r e y o u s t a n d.**" 

Peter jolted. He could feel his heart hammering, speeding up in a flurry of shock, confusion, and fear, and he actually shrank back in his seat as he continued to stare at Sans. Harry’s jaw had dropped unconsciously, and his pupils shrank to the size of dots. This was not what they were used to, not coming from such a friendly and funny monster as Sans. It had been so unexpected that they were literally frozen, unable to move or say anything. The words were stuck in their minds, in their throats. 

Sans paused for another moment, and when he saw how frightened his young friends had become, his pupils popped back into place and he smiled kindly, shaking his head. 

"Hey, lighten up, buckos!” he said, his voice back to its usual cadence. No trace of the almost sinister tone was left as he chuckled and leaned across the table. “I'm just joking with you.”

Slowly, Peter and Harry felt their breathing return to normal. Harry’s face regained some of its color, and Peter’s heart stopped trying to escape his ribcage. Another one of Sans’s pranks had gotten them. Boy, had it gotten them _ good. _

“Sans, holy crap,” Harry sighed, rubbing his temples. “You scared the shit out of us. Seriously, man, don’t do that!”

“Sans, please don’t do that again,” Peter almost whimpered. Luckily he caught himself. “That was freaky as hell. For a second there I thought you got- I don’t know, possessed or something!!” That was certainly what it had looked like. The eyes, the voice, the slow, deliberate words… That was a side of Sans they’d never seen before. Now it was pretty clear that he’d just taken a joke too far, but for a moment there it had been incredibly concerning.

_ I hope it was really just a joke, anyway, _Peter thought silently. But...what else could it have been? That didn’t jibe with what they knew about their skeleton buddy. He wouldn’t hurt them. No way.

“I’m real sorry, kids,” Sans said. “I didn’t mean to scare ya’ too badly.” He reached across the table and gave Harry’s arm a reassuring pat, then sat back in his seat and crossed his own arms casually. “Besides...haven't I done a great job protecting you? I mean, look at yourselves. You haven't died a single time!" 

Now calm again (or as calm as they could be after a fright like that), the boys managed to laugh it off and nodded. 

“Oh, yeah," Peter said, offering Sans a smile. He decided to ignore the ‘haven’t died a single time’ part, assuming it to just be one of Sans’s odd turns of phrase. “Thankfully. We're doing pretty well, I'd say.” Softening his voice, he added, “Thanks for looking out for us, Sans.”

Sans nodded, seemingly satisfied. “It’s nothing, kid. Remember? I’m rootin’ for ya’.” He stood up from their table and walked over to examine a plant by the wall. It must have been pretty interesting, because he looked at it for a pretty long time. Then, he turned to look at Peter and Harry again with an expression both fond and sad. "Well, that's all. Take care of yourselves, kids. 'Cause someone really cares about you." With that, he turned and walked off, not waiting for Peter or Harry to give any parting words of their own. Once again, in an odd occurrence, they didn't actually see him leave; he was heading toward one of the inside walls, and when they blinked, he was gone. They shook their heads, a fuzzy feeling vaguely pervading their skulls before vanishing a moment later.

"Wow," Peter murmured, after Sans had gone and he and Harry had spent a good minute or two just sitting in silence. 

“You’re telling me,” Harry said. He pushed back some of his hair and took a long, deep breath. “I don’t even really know what to say.”

“I knew us running into Sans all the time wasn’t coincidental,” Peter said, leaning his cheek in his hand and tracing circles on the tablecloth. “I knew it. It was more than that all along.”

"I can’t believe he knows Toriel,” Harry said softly.

“He doesn’t even _ really _know her,” Peter pointed out. “He never got her name. He just...spoke to her, through that big purple door. And they were friends.” He looked down again. “And she asked him to protect us.”

“Even after everything,” Harry said, mostly to himself. “After everything we did…” To think that she still so loved them made it ache all the worse to know that they couldn’t go back to the Ruins.

And yet...they had to see her again. They both knew in their hearts that if they didn’t get to see Toriel at least one more time, whether on the Surface or below the mountain, they’d never forgive themselves. Now, more than ever, they were filled with a hot and fiery determination to shatter the Barrier and set the woman who’d given them so much free. To set all the monsters free. Toriel, Sans, Papyrus, Alphys...even the ones who’d tried to do them harm. They all deserved to be free, not trapped beneath a mountain or separated by a door.

“We’re gonna do it, Harry,” Peter said, as if he’d read his best friend’s mind. He lifted his chin and placed his palms flat on the table. “We’re gonna do it. And we’re gonna do it for her. It’s the least we can do, after everything she’s done for us.”

“I know,” Harry said simply, because he did know. And he couldn’t have agreed more. 

“So,” Peter said, standing up from the table and pushing his chair in with a flourish, “let’s get going. Just have to get past this hotel, right? We’re so close.” His eyes sparkled intensely. “I can feel it!”


	50. Besties Meet Besties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After conversing with the father of the Snowdrake they met near Snowdin (and telling him to quit being a dhitty father), Peter and Harry discover that "MTT Resort" stands for "Mettaton Resort" and promptly search for a way around it. Unfortunately, the shady side alley is a dead end. Fortunately, there are two best friends back there, and they're super cool!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh sorry this is late again!! ;u; It has been A Week, hoo boy. I dunno if the next one will be up on time, but I really hope it is!!! We're literally, like. Five chapters away from the one I've been waiting this entire time for. /I will see this through!/

On the way out of the fancy, probably very overpriced restaurant section of the MTT resort, they passed by a Snowdrake who was hovering near the entrance, looking quite flustered. He was wearing a striped tie, giving him a stately appearance, but a lot of his feathers were ruffled and sticking out in certain places. Every so often he would mutter to himself, “No, no, can’t say  _ that _ …”

The Snowdrake seemed to be lamenting to himself about something pretty hard. The poor guy looked near hysterical. In fact, it almost reminded them of…

“Hey, do you remember that Snowdrake we met back near Snowdin?” Peter asked suddenly, stopping quickly in his tracks. Harry nodded, easily recalling the image of the downtrodden teen. 

“Yeah, sure. He was trying to be a comedian, right? He told us jokes?”

“Yeah, yeah!! That was it!” He turned back to look toward the other Snowdrake again. The blue-feathered monster idly scratched at his chest with one talon, looking as anxious as always, then began to pace in a tight circle. Peter smiled. He knew exactly what to do.

“Come on, buddy,” he said cheerfully, walking over to the distraught bird. “I think it’s time we helped out another Snowdrake. It looks like he could use some encouragement.” Peter got within two feet or so of the Snowdrake, smiling expectantly as he and Harry approached. The monster either didn’t notice them or didn’t care, because he didn’t spare them a glance. He just kept pacing and muttering under his breath. Ah. Peter rocked back and forth on his feet for a while, waiting a bit awkwardly, before finally coughing to get his attention. 

“Ah!!” the Snowdrake squawked, feathers puffing up in alarm. Peter and Harry quickly held up their hands, the latter saying, “Whoa, easy, dude! We didn’t mean to freak you out.”

“Who are you?” the Snowdrake asked, eyeing the humans somewhat suspiciously. “Whaddaya want, huh?”

"Hey, we don’t want any trouble," Peter said. “We just saw you looking kind of out of sorts over here, and...well, we just wanted to check in and see what’s going on.” He shrugged a little. “Sorry, don’t mean to pry. Just trying to see if we can maybe help out with something.” He put his arm around Harry and pulled him to his side as he beamed at the Snowdrake. “It’s kind of our thing!” 

The Snowdrake peered up at them like he didn’t know what to make of their offer. He shifted from claw to claw, a small hum escaping his beak, then sighed. Lowering his head, he said, "Oh, fine. I guess squawkin’ to some strangers can’t hurt. Might as well get it off my chest.” Straightening back up -- but just barely -- he continued, I'm the resort comedian. People laugh at my jokes. They're very funny.” The Snowdrake scuffed one foot against the carpeted floor. “Now, my son. He wants to be a comedian like his fathah. But his jokes. Aren't funny.” 

The look on the monster’s face could only be described as pure anguish. Peter was sure that he’d never seen anyone get as worked up about jokes as this Snowdrake (not counting himself; jokes were serious business, after all).

“He tells these awful puns,” he continued to lament. “He's an embarrassment to our family." He actually chuckled a bit, but as soon as the sound had left his mouth, the Snowdrake’s face became deadly serious. "That's not funny."

Something about this sounded awfully familiar to Peter. It was almost like...like he’d heard it before. But he couldn’t have, right? They’d never met this Snowdrake before. He was sure of it. And the only other Snowdrake they’d met was-

And then something clicked. Peter’s head spun to face Harry so fast that he nearly gave himself whiplash. 

_ Wait. Wait wait wAIT. Could this guy be-?! _

Harry, feeling Peter’s eyes urgently boring into him, curiously glanced over. As soon as he did, the same realization dawned on him, and he struggled to keep from physically gasping. 

_ Holy shit! THIS is the dad!!! _

This Snowdrake right in front of them was the father of that sad, lonely Snowdrake back in Snowdin. The Snowdrake who’d only been trying his hardest to make people laugh. It had to be. He’d said his father didn’t approve of his jokes, hadn’t he? Now they had confirmation. 

Now, as the older Snowdrake prattled on, Harry felt himself getting a bit prickly. This monster was  _ this  _ pressed about his son’s passion? Just because he didn’t think he was “as good” as him? It rankled Harry, striking such a personal chord that he couldn’t help but once again think of his own father. 

"Since his mothah passed on, he couldn't stand. Living at home anymore. So he ran away,” the Snowdrake said sadly. “I haven't seen him since. I'm a terrible fathah." He laughed again, then narrowed his eyes. "That's not funny." 

“Ever think maybe  _ you’re  _ part of the reason he ran away?” Harry said sharply, before he could stop himself. The Snowdrake’s head shot up from where he’d been focusing on the floor again. Peter bit his lip nervously, but he didn’t say anything; he knew how much bad dads bothered Harry, and he couldn’t blame him for calling this one out. He just hoped this wouldn’t escalate into anything bad.

“I...I thought about it,” the Snowdrake admitted. “My son. He got so mad at me. Said I was crushing his dreams. But all I did was tell the truth.”

“No, you put him down,” Harry shot back. “He has a passion, a passion he shares with you, and instead of encouraging him, you tell him he’s terrible? You tell him he can’t do what he loves? That he’ll never measure up? That he’s an  _ embarrassment? _ How  _ dare  _ you? That’s not telling the truth, that’s being a dick.” He felt his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides and forced himself to take a deep breath through his nose. Starting a shouting match would help no one.

“Look,” Harry said finally, once his heart rate had eased back to normal. “You just have to understand...your words can hurt. They can hurt just as much as a kick or a slap ever could. Maybe even more.” He swallowed lightly. “You know, we met your son. A while ago.” 

“What?” The monster’s voice was quiet and severe, and his eyes were wide, rife with emotion undecipherable.

“He was on the side of the path outside Snowdin, despondent and heartbroken. He told us that you didn’t think he could ever make it as a comedian, and how much that hurt him. We managed to cheer him up, but, man...he was really upset.” Peter nodded, though he didn’t add anything else. This was Harry’s moment. “You should apologize to him,” Harry finished, resting a hand on his hip. “A parent should support their child, no matter what. If you really want to help him, then train him. Teach him. And maybe you could learn something from him, too.”

The Snowdrake looked down again, lapsing into silence. Harry, having finally gotten a large weight off his chest -- or part of it, at least -- relaxed his shoulders and gave a small, quiet sigh. 

_ If only I had the balls to tell Dad the same thing. _

“...You’re right.”

Harry blinked in surprise. “What?”

“You’re right,” the Snowdrake said, looking up into their faces again and locking eyes with Harry. “All I did...All I said...I broke him. I broke his spirit. That’s why he ran away. With his mothah gone, he must feel like no one understands him. Especially when I tell him he’s no good. She’s the one who made him love jokes so much. She was a real prime time jokester. And I…” He shook his head in disgust. “I really am a terrible fathah.” 

“Well...I’m glad you realize that what you did was wrong,” Harry said.

“I don’t know why I didn’t go aftah him before. Maybe...Maybe I was too afraid of what he’d say.” The Snowdrake looked away for a moment, then squared his feathery shoulders and lifted his head again. “I’ll do it. I’ll go find my boy and tell him. That his fathah loves him.” 

Harry’s stern expression at last softened into a small smile. 

“I think he’d appreciate that very much.”

The Snowdrake nodded once, twice, as if affirming his promise to himself. Then, with his feathers flat and shoulders back, he turned to go. Looking back at Peter and Harry a final time, he said, “I want to thank you. For showin’ me the error of my ways. I won’t forget the kindness you’ve done me and my family.”

Harry gave him a little nod and half-salute, which he distantly realized he must have picked up from Sans. “Give him our best.”

“I will.”

Shooting them a grateful, beaky smile, the Snowdrake waddled out of the restaurant, presumably to go and make amends with his son as he’d said he would. Harry watched him go with a feeling akin to pride in his chest. Had he really done that? Made a father see how cruel he was being? He supposed there was a first for everything. Maybe there could be a second, too.

He jumped a little as he felt a friendly slap on his back, jostling him from his thoughts. Harry turned to find Peter beaming up at him.

“What?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’? That was awesome!!” Peter cheered. Harry scuffed his foot and looked away, a little embarrassed. He’d almost forgotten that his friend had witnessed that entire interaction. 

“It was just- I mean, I had to say  _ something.  _ I couldn’t just let him-” Harry waved his hands, at a loss of how to put the feeling into words. Peter smirked.

“Don’t downplay it! You changed that Snowdrake’s mind.  _ You  _ did that, not me. You showed him what an asshole he was being, and now he’s finally gonna go and make up with his son.” He smiled and squeezed his friend’s hand briefly. “You did a good thing, buddy.” 

“Yeah, well…” Harry allowed himself to smile a little more. “I hope it makes a difference for that kid.”

_ I know it would make a difference for me. _

“It will,” Peter assured him. “I know it.”

Now that there was no longer anything to distract them from moving along, Peter and Harry left the restaurant. Immediately upon exiting the area and entering the lobby of the hotel, though, they were stopped in their tracks yet again. A fully realized, lifesize statue of none other than Mettaton sat in the middle of a large central fountain, spewing water from the middle of its screen with its arms raised in gleeful acceptance of nonexistent praise.

"No,” Harry said. Actually, it was more like a whimper. A sad, defeated little whimper. “It’s not. It can’t be.”

"MTT Resort,” Peter murmured, his eyes still glued to the infuriatingly cheerful statue. “MTT…” A sudden memory of a certain ‘MTT Brand’ can of soul substitute (whatever that was) on the set of a certain robot’s cooking show flashed through his mind. His expression soured. “ _ Mettaton. _ ” 

That settled it, then. They were on his home turf now. And now, more than ever, there was a very high chance for the robot himself to pop up out of nowhere and wreak absolute havoc once again. 

_Great. Just_ _great_.

"We need to get out of here,” Harry said, grabbing Peter’s sleeve and storming toward the entrance. “I said I never wanted to see that smarmy hunk of junk again, and I meant it.  _ We’re leaving.”  _

“But Harry-!” Peter protested. He dug his heels into the polished floor and tried to ignore the strange looks they were receiving from the other people in the lobby. “Alphys said the Core is through here!” He could have resisted more if he wanted to — hell, he could’ve picked Harry right up off the floor and toted him through the hotel — but he didn’t. Harry was uncomfortable and upset, and he had every right to be. Truth be told, Peter quite liked the idea of skirting the resort entirely. Anything to decrease their chance of encountering Mettaton and his TV facades.

“I don’t care,” Harry grouched. “We’ll just have to find a way around it. I am  _ not  _ gonna go traipsing around that asshole’s glitzy, ritzy tourist trap.” He paused for just a second, glaring around at the pristine potted plants, yellow walls, and assorted decor. It looked about as upscale as any NYC hotel. The only difference was the eyesore of a statue in the bubbling fountain. “I bet he’s waiting for us right now, ready to spring as soon as we get close enough. I’m not giving him that chance.”

On their way past the fountain (Harry still about dragging Peter), Peter caught a glimpse of a yellow star shining on the rim. He juuust managed to reach his arm out and graze it with his fingertips as his friend pulled him out toward Hotland. 

“The relaxing atmosphere of this hotel...it fills you with determination," said the enigmatic voice as the doors slid shut behind them. 

"Relaxing," Peter snorted. "Yeah, right. It’s more like being in a lion’s den.”

Once they were outside, Harry dropped Peter’s arm and took a couple of deep breaths to center himself. His heart rate was much too high, he could feel it through his skin and his ribs. Lord, was this really what that stupid robot did to him? He wasn’t even afraid anymore, he was more just...supremely annoyed. Annoyed, and pissed off. He couldn’t stomach another round with Mettaton.

"Alright," Harry sighed when he’d sufficiently slowed his pulse. “Let’s find a way around this dump.” 

“Maybe this’ll be better,” Peter agreed, and he gave his friend a quick pat on the shoulder. “I’m definitely not gonna object to avoiding Mr. Showtime.” 

Peter and Harry began to scan the perimeter, looking for any pathway they might have missed earlier that would lead them around MTT Resort. Unfortunately, aside from the alley they’d followed Sans down — which had been a dead end — there was no route that jumped out at them. The hotel was just...all-encompassing.

Just as they were realizing that this might be harder than they’d thought, Harry spied something on the ground by his feet.

“Hey, what’s this?”

Bending down to inspect it, he found that it was a small sheet of yellow legal paper with a few words scribbled on it in big, bubbly handwriting.

_ “Hey! Go up the shady side alley for great deals!"  _ it read. Harry blinked a couple of times. Alley? They’d already been up the alley! There was nothing there except-

“What’s it say?” Peter asked, peering over Harry’s shoulder at the note. 

“Uhh, something about a side alley?” Harry murmured. “But it doesn’t make any sense. We already saw the alley, and there was nothing there.” He shook his head in frustration, slightly crumpling the note in his hand unconsciously. “I don’t get it!”

Peter stared down at the ground in a thoughtful way for a moment or two, then looked up and scanned the area again. This time, he paid extra attention to every minute detail of the front of the resort. 

There was the alley they’d gone down before...and the front lobby entrance...and the fountain, through the glass doors…

_ Wait.  _ What was that? 

Peter squinted at the right side of the building, where the resort wall appeared to meet the cavern’s wall. But...no, they didn’t  _ quite  _ touch. There was a dark space there, a tiny little sliver of shadow between the two solid structures. It suggested depth, at least somewhat. 

“There!!” he exclaimed, pointing to the area he’d found. “I bet that’s it!” 

Harry tilted his head as he tried to see what Peter saw. “What? I don’t see any-” He yelped as Peter took him by the shoulders and guided him to a specific and very contorted position.

“Look! See now?”

He did, actually; the small area of shadow looked  _ just  _ different enough to possibly hold the mysterious other alleyway the note spoke of.

“Huh,” Harry said as Peter released him, looking proud. “There is something there.” He glanced down at the wrinkled paper in his hand. “Guess that’s what the note’s referring to.”

"Now, the only question left is: should we trust it?" Peter mused. In New York, a note like this would nine times out of ten lead to a particularly brutal mugging, or maybe something even worse. Anyone stupid enough to heed the note’s wishes were probably not suited to be living in the city in the first place. 

Then again, this was the Underground, not New York City. Anything commonplace up there was probably the opposite down here, or at least somewhat different. 

"Probably not," Harry replied with a half shrug. "But what choice do we have? If it’ll take us around back, it’s a risk I’m more than willing to take." 

Peter nodded. He couldn’t argue with that. 

Getting into the narrow little alley was an incredibly tight squeeze. It was so tight that they had to go one at a time, first Peter, then Harry. They stumbled forward blindly for about ten seconds in the strange, extra-present darkness before the alley walls mercifully expanded outward. Now, at last, they could walk side by side without grazing the bricks. The darkness had also all but disappeared, with only a lingering shadow hovering over the pavement. 

The first, most obvious thing they noticed was that the alley was a dead end. 

_ There goes that plan,  _ Harry thought bitterly.

The second thing they noticed -- and which caught the full scope of their attention -- was the presence of two monsters leaning up against a dumpster, which could feasibly fit in the cramped space thanks to the way the walls had widened slightly.

One of them was a short, squat purple cat wearing a blue apron. She was idle examining the claws on her left hand, every so often flicking her tail against the side of the dumpster. Her friend, a blonde alligator with a pink camisole, was tapping away on a beat-up looking phone. As soon as they registered Peter and Harry’s presence, though, both of them were instantly on their feet with their eyes shining.

"Hey! Check it out!" they squealed excitedly, their voices rising, mixing together and amplifying one another. "Customers!!” They skidded to a stop mere inches from the boys, so close that they could see the individual tufts of fur and scales on the monsters’ faces.

"Oh!!” Peter exclaimed, and he tried to ignore the high-pitched crack in that single word as he stumbled back a step. He couldn’t help being startled! Whatever they’d expected to find in this shady back alley, it wasn’t  _ this.  _ “Ah, h-hi! Uh, are you- are you guys the ones who wrote that note?” He gestured vaguely behind himself, toward the mouth of the alley. “We found it on the floor by the lobby, and we figured-”

“Ohmigod, yeah!!” the alligator giggled shrilly. Harry winced and almost covered his ears, but thought that might be rude. “That’s, like, totally our note! We  _ knew  _ someone would find it eventually!”

“Oh! Cool!” Peter said, nodding. He smiled awkwardly. He didn’t really know what else to do. The monsters were still staring at them gleefully, their bodies leaning ever so slightly forward. The alligator’s tail was thumping an unsteady rhythm on the ground.

“So, you’re...not gonna mug us, right?” Harry asked eventually, raising an eyebrow. These two didn’t exactly look like hardened criminals, but if a flower could be an evil dickwad, anything was possible.

The monsters erupted into loud peals of valley girl laughter. “Oh my God,  _ no,”  _ the cat said, stifling her giggles with her paw. “Like, don’t be silly!! We’re not  _ robbers.” _

"We're selling a bunch of stuff back here!” the alligator supplied. “That’s, like, the  _ opposite  _ of mugging.” 

“Oh, well, that’s a relief,” Peter chuckled. “For a second there we were worried we’d made a terrible mistake. That note was kinda sketchy, no offense.” 

More laughter.

“That’s the  _ point,  _ silly,” the cat said. “It creates intrigue! Like, all  _ mysterious  _ and shit. It’s the perfect marketing ploy.” She spun to face her friend, bringing her paws up to her own face as a grin spread across it. “Ohmygod! We, like, totally forgot to introduce ourselves!! We should do that now!”

“Oh my God, you’re right! How rude of us, damn.” 

They both faced Peter and Harry again and cleared their throats. At the same time as the alligator said, “Hi, I’m Bratty! And this is my best friend, Catty!”, the cat said, in such perfect unison it was almost creepy, “Hi, I’m Catty! And this is my best friend, Bratty!” They paused upon realizing they’d spoken at the same time, and they glanced at one another with wide eyes. Then they collapsed into laughter.

Peter and Harry shared a look of their own. Harry looked hopelessly confused and a little exasperated, but Peter was positively beaming. He was absolutely  _ loving  _ these two. Any apprehension he’d had upon entering the dark, cramped space evaporated at the sound of their joyful (somewhat ridiculous-sounding) laughter. He had a good feeling that they were going to be right up his  _ alley,  _ so to speak.

"Well, it’s nice to meet you, Catty and Bratty!” Peter said, executing an exaggeratedly formal bow, which only produced more laughter from the other pair. “I’m Peter, and this is Harry. We were hoping to see if your alley led around the back of the hotel, but, uh…" He craned his neck to see past them. “Pretty sure it’s looking like a ‘no’.” 

Catty shook her head with a sympathetic smile. "No, sorry! It's, like, a dead end," she confirmed.

Peter snapped his fingers. "Darn. Well, that's alright. Thanks anyway!"

“It’s okay!” Bratty piped up. “It may be a dead end, but, like, now that you’re here…”

“You can totally take a look at our stuff!!” Catty finished. Her purple tail was practically windmilling behind her now as she bounced on her toes. 

"Oh, uh, gee, I dunno,” Harry said somewhat doubtfully. He couldn’t see any merchandise. Did they even actually have anything to sell? He turned on his heel and started for the exit of the alley, saying quickly, “I think we’re probably-” 

“What're you selling?" asked Peter eagerly. Harry stopped and gave a little sigh, returning to Peter’s side. 

Catty and Bratty lit up. In an instant, they were racing for the dumpster near the back of the alley. Bratty flung the lid open with a  _ bang,  _ and from the noxious depths they both pulled item after item after item: broken forks, tattered hats, unraveled spools of twine, sparking electronics…

It was a veritable menagerie of, well...trash. 

"The stuff inside, is like..." Bratty began.

"TOTALLY wicked expensive.”

"But, like, this stuff we found is like..." 

"TOTALLY wicked cheap."

"You should, like..." 

"TOTALLY wicked buy all of it?" they finished together, clasping their hands and grinning. 

“You gotta be kidding me,” Harry muttered under his breath. Peter lightly elbowed him, and Harry gave him a  _ really??  _ look.

“Be nice!” Peter whispered. “They’re doing their best!”

“It’s  _ literally  _ garbage,” Harry argued.

“No, it just came  _ out  _ of the garbage! Maybe that’s all they have to store it in.” He looked over at Catty and Bratty, who were still beaming eagerly throughout the boys’ hushed conversation. “Let’s just give it a try. Maybe they have something we can use!” Harry gave him a withering glare, but Peter just grinned and gave him a thumbs-up. 

Turning back to the women, he said, “That’s quite an array you’ve got there!” Peter wandered over to the spread of items on the dumpster lid and began to peruse them with interest. He picked up the ragged sun hat and turned it over in his hands. “Where'd you get all this stuff?"

Bratty’s eyes darted back and forth. "I mean, like, where does anyone get guns, or food, or..." she began, but Catty immediately cut in.

"We found it in the garbage!!!" 

Bratty shot her friend a sharp look. Catty covered her mouth with both paws, a tiny “oop!!” escaping it. Bratty shook her head in exasperation, but she was smirking.

"It's GOOD garbage,” she assured the boys. 

"It's like, really good garbage,” Catty agreed with a vigorous nod of her head.

Harry also shot his friend a look; a look that said,  _ I told you so.  _ Peter shrugged sheepishly. Okay, so it was actually gabrage. So what? One monster’s trash was another monster’s treasure!

"Oh, I see," Peter said, setting the hat back down.

_ Maybe the hat isn’t the best idea.  _

"Uh, where do you get the garbage, if you don't mind me asking?" Peter pictured them rummaging around in people’s trash cans like large, multi-colored raccoons, and he suppressed a wide smile.

"Where do we get the garbage?" Bratty asked. "Like, the garbage store, duh!" 

At Peter and Harry’s bewildered faces, the girls laughed loudly again. 

"Nah, I’m just messing with you,” she said. Waterfall, mostly.” 

"I found a gun in a dumpster!" Catty spoke up proudly. 

If Peter had been drinking something, he either would’ve spat it out onto the pavement or started choking on it.

“A gun??” he sputtered. “Where did you-? Why would there-?” He couldn’t articulate whatever was trying to unstick itself from his throat, so he settled on just shaking his head in wonder. “Uh, n-nevermind.” 

_ Okay, so monsters have guns! Good to know!  _

Peter eyed the other items on the dumpster and was somewhat relieved to find that the gun was not among them. He hoped they’d never run into the Underground’s version of those cheesy Western outlaws, the ones with the big bushy mustaches and red bandanas. There were enough armed assholes on the  _ Surface _ , thank you very much.

For Harry, the idea of a gun in the hands of these two was equal parts terrifying and comedic. Probably more of the latter, unless they accidentally set it off, in which case it would absolutely be more of the former. Either way, he was getting kind of antsy to get past the MTT Resort, and he figured it was about time they bid the alley dwellers adieu. 

“Well,” he said, once again spinning on his heel, “this has been a blast, ladies, but if you’ll excuse us, we’ve really gotta get going.”

“Awww, why?” Catty whined. She crossed her arms and pouted. “You, like, haven’t even bought anything yet!!”

“Yeah, c’mon, Har! There’s no rush!” Peter said. “I’m still looking!”

Harry turned back around and folded his own arms sternly. “Peter. In case you’ve somehow forgotten, we’re kind of in the middle of trying to-” He glanced furtively at Catty and Bratty, who were leaning forward in interest. He faltered. “Uhhh, we have to get through Mettaton’s hotel. Like, now. It’s  _ incredibly  _ important, and I know you know that.”

Peter frowned, but he had to admit Harry was right. It was probably time to get going. As much fun as he was having with these two eccentric merchant monsters, the more time they lingered, the more chance they had of running into you-know-who. He opened his mouth to tell them the abridged version of this, but he didn’t get the chance. The moment the word ‘Mettaton’ left Harry’s mouth, Catty and Bratty’s faces had split into the biggest grins they’d seen. 

“Oh my GOD,  _ Mettaton _ !" they squealed together. Harry jumped, accidentally bumping up against the brick wall of the alley. 

“Ahh! What?!” he asked, knitting his eyebrows. “D-Do you know him?”

" _ Know  _ him?” Bratty guffawed. Her clawed hands clasped together with a startling intensity. “He's like...my robot husband." 

"Actually he's like...MY robot husband," Catty said. 

"I think we're like...both going to marry him." 

"We're both like, ALREADY married to him," Catty gushed. "He just, like, doesn't know it yet.” 

Now,  _ this  _ could be a conundrum. For a long while Peter and Harry had assumed that Mettaton was mostly a hack; sure, they’d overheard several monsters engaging in discussion about his programs, but every show had its few odd fans. Catty and Bratty, however, were something else. They weren’t just fans. They were  _ super  _ fans. And although Peter didn’t know for sure that they’d turn them over to him just to get on his good side -- and he was far more inclined to believe they wouldn’t, as they’d been nothing but happy and friendly toward them this whole time -- it probably wasn’t a smart idea to plant that thought in their heads.

“O-Oh, wow!” Peter said, leaning against the dumpster while Harry collected himself after his mishap. “You guys must, uh, really like Mettaton!”

“Oh my God, we  _ looooove  _ him,” Bratty said. “We know, like,  _ everything  _ about him.”

Peter’s ears pricked up (metaphorically, of course). Information could be useful when dealing with a particularly tricky opponent. Knowing his foes’ backstories often gave him a pretty healthy advantage as Spider-Man. Why not try the same approach down here?

“Yeah? Like what?

Bratty leaned against the far wall and readjusted herself, clearly preparing to share what she thought was incredible info. "So, like, Dr. Alphys built Mettaton, right?" she started. 

"That's like, what they TELL you," Catty said. "But like...Mettaton always acts like..." 

"Being built was HIS idea somehow.” 

Harry and Peter shared another glance across the small alley. Rather than looking slightly annoyed, as he had for most of the time they’d been with Catty and Bratty, Harry now appeared intrigued and attentive. 

_ Now we’re getting somewhere,  _ the boy thought, straightening out the hem of his sweater.  _ If they can give us some dirt on that bucket of bolts, maybe this won’t have been a wasted trip after all.  _

As soon as he thought that, he felt slightly bad. It wasn’t that he didn’t  _ like  _ Catty and Bratty; they were very nice, as far as he could tell, and Peter seemed to be having a lot of fun with them. It was just that they were rather loud, and high energy, and right now he didn’t have the mental fortitude to be either of those things. Harry was tired, and he wanted to go home. Most of all, though, he wanted to get past the resort without bumping into the single most irritating creature in the Underground.

Maybe, after they freed the monsters, they could all have another get-together, the four of them, and meet each other properly. Harry felt he owed it to them after the cranky mood he was in.

But that would be then. Right now, he was still itching to leave and get to the capitol, so he urged the two monsters on with a, “Really? How do you mean?” 

"Like, I don’t even know how to describe it,” Bratty said. “Even right after he was built..."

"He acted like Alphys was an old friend," Catty said, a puzzled look on her face. 

Peter and Harry pondered this. It wasn't much, but it was something. And it was  _ very  _ interesting. What was Mettaton hiding underneath that polished metal exterior…?

"But they're like...not friends anymore," Bratty said after a short silence. Peter and Harry blinked.

“They’re...not?” That actually did make sense, now that they thought about it. He’d turned into a psychotic killing machine; it would probably be hard to stay friends with someone after that.

"Yeah!!! Unlike me and Bratty! Best friends for-EVER!" Catty laughed and high-fived Bratty, their hands creating a resounding  _ slap _ . 

"That’s too bad,” Peter said. “Alphys is a really cool person. He lost a great friend.” 

“And it’s no one’s fault but his own,” Harry commented, tossing his hair and huffing.

"Oh my GOD, Alphys," the girls squealed. 

“You know her, too?” Peter asked, slightly surprised. He knew he probably shouldn’t be, but for some reason he’d assumed that they only peripherally knew OF her. Alphys was a very reclusive person, by her own admission. 

"She used to live on our street!" Bratty said. 

"She was like a big sister," Catty added. 

"Really? That’s so cool!" Harry said, a real, genuine smile coming over his face for the first time in a while. He tried to picture what Alphys was like when she was younger. Was she as anxious and withdrawn as she seemed to be today? Did she like anime as much? Maybe he could ask her, the next time they met up. It might be fun to share childhood stories amongst the three of them.

"Yeah! I mean, like, if your big sister..." 

"Takes you on trips to the dump," they chuckled together. 

“The...The dump?” Peter asked, dumbfounded.

"Uh-huh! She showed us the coolest places to find trash," Bratty explained.

"And she was always collecting these weird cartoons." 

Ah, that answered that question.

All of a sudden, a sad look passed over the two women. Their energy became noticeably dampened, even if it was only a smidge. "But then...then, she became the Royal Scientist..." Bratty murmured. Catty nodded, her usually-perky ears flattening against her ahead.

"Yeah. We haven't seen her in forever..." 

The alley was quiet for the first and only time since they’d entered. It was not hard to tell how much Alphys’s departure had affected Catty and Bratty. They both looked so...so  _ sad.  _ Despondent, even. It was an alarming change of pace.

"She told us about that," Harry said softly. "That she became Asgore's scientist. That was a while ago, huh?" 

Bratty nodded, and at the mention of Asgore, they both seemed to return somewhat to their cheerful selves. 

"Oh, yeah!” she exclaimed. “So Alphys has always, like..." 

"Thought Asgore is a SUPER cutie." 

"So, like, I'm pretty sure she..." 

"Made Mettaton to, like, totally impress him." 

"A robot with a soul..." Bratty said breathlessly, her eyes shining with undisguised wonder. 

"That's, like, SUPER relevant to his hobbies!!" Catty finished. She clapped her paws and shimmied a little in place.

_ I guess that makes sense,  _ thought Peter.  _ Considering he needs human souls and all. I wonder how Alphys actually managed to make Mettaton…? _

"So after seeing Mettaton, Asgore..." 

"Asked her to do all this science stuff for him! But nobody's, like, seen anything from her yet." 

"Or...her. At all." Bratty sighed. She moved some of her blonde bangs aside with a claw absently. "She must, like, just stay in her lab all day."

Harry tugged at his color, and Peter shuffled his foot somewhat sheepishly. They knew all too well that that was pretty close to the truth. 

"Like, live a little, girl," Bratty said with a shake of her saurian head. 

"Yeah!" Catty squealed. She gripped her friend’s hands in both of hers, and they began to bounce up and down together. "Like us!!!" Both began to laugh in delight.

Watching the two of them together served to lift the mood in the alley, at least a little bit. It reminded Peter and Harry of themselves, actually, and that made them smile. Well, okay, maybe they weren’t as boisterous or loud as Catty and Bratty, but the sentiment was there. Harry found himself warming up to them the more they conversed.

"So, uh, Asgore asked her himself, huh?” Peter asked. “I guess that must have been pretty cool for Alphys. I know I’d be zazzed if a king asked  _ me  _ to be his royal scientist.” He chuckled. 

_ It’d sure beat working for Jolly Jameson. _

"Oh my God, he's a total goober," Bratty laughed. 

"He's a big, fuzzy goofball!" Catty added. "Like, I LOVE that guy." 

"He's like, so nice." 

“Yeah?” Harry asked hopefully. They’d heard the same from Papyrus, and a few other monsters around the Underground, too. Maybe it wasn’t foolish to hope that they’d be able to converse with the king peacefully after all. 

"Oh,  _ totally!  _ God, we're like...SO hyped for the destruction of humanity!" the two shouted in unison, throwing their arms up and waving splayed jazz hands. 

Peter and Harry’s eyes bugged, and their skin whitened alarmingly. That...That wasn’t what they wanted to hear, especially not coming from such bubbly people. 

_ Probably a good thing we didn’t introduce ourselves as ‘those humans wandering through the Underground’.  _

Thankfully, they caught themselves before Catty and Bratty noticed their discomfort, and they forced themselves to nervously laugh along with the monsters, glancing at each other every so often. If they could’ve seen themselves, they’d see that they both looked as stiff and awkward as the other did.

_ Please don’t catch on please don’t catch on please don’t catch on. _

When the laughter started to die down, Peter decided that now was probably the best time to get going. It had been fun, talking with Catty and Bratty in that dim, damp alleyway, but discussing Alphys, Asgore, and Mettaton had reminded him of the urgent matter at hand. 

"Oh! Hey, ah, thanks for all your help, guys," he said, moving forward to offer his hand. “We really appreciate it. Har and I gotta go now, but we’ll hopefully see you again soon! I mean, if you’d like to hang out again,” he said with a little laugh. Catty and Bratty smiled at him, and they nearly hip-bumped each other out of the way to shake Peter’s hand. 

" _ Absolutely!  _ We’d totes love to chill again,” Bratty said. “Like, see you later!"

"Later and stuff!" Catty echoed. “It was great talking to you guys!!” 

“Same here,” Harry responded, and he meant it. What had started out as a mild nuisance and major inconvenience had turned into a strange, but entertaining, chat. He had a feeling that they’d be seeing these two again in the future. Or, at least, he really hoped so. 

Peter and Harry gave the ladies a nod and a wave before turning around and squeezing themselves back out through the narrow mouth of the alley. Once they’d gotten through (with only minor scrapes), they stood by the entrance of MTT Resort. Harry looked through the glass double doors and felt a sinkhole open up in his stomach.

"Well, that was certainly enlightening," Harry said. “And kind of fun, actually.” He sighed. “But it doesn’t change the fact that we can’t get around this stupid hotel. And that means…”

"We have to go through it,” said Peter grimly.

“Yup.” Harry tilted his head back, his eyes closed. He took one long, deep breath of muggy Hotland air. Alright.  _ They could do this. _

“Okay, Pete. All we have to do is get through this place as quick as we can, and then move on to the Core. That’s all. If we don’t make any pit stops or get sidetracked, we should be fine. We're not far now." 

"Right,” Peter said. “Let's do it. We’re in the home stretch, pal." He held out his pinkie, which Harry linked with his own. They nodded again, once.

As they headed back inside the dreaded Mettaton Resort, Harry felt his resolve slip just a tiny bit. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to allow a quiet little whimper to escape unconsciously.

“ _ Please, _ just don’t let us run into him again,” he begged whatever deity was listening. “ _ Please. _ ” 


	51. I'm (Not) Lovin' It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry decide to ask an employee of the resort about a back way out of the hotel, and end up visiting the MTT Brand Burger Emporium. There they meet 'Burgerpants', the wild, eccentric cashier with a lot to say about a lot of things. Luckily, they do eventually manage to get the information they were looking for - but before they can leave, Peter gets an idea to lessen Burgerpants's obvious loneliness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, back on schedule :3 God I love Burgerpants, he's a wild guy.

Upon entering the hotel again, a little creature made of origami paper greeted them at the door. 

"Welcome to MTT Resort - Hotland's biggest apartment-building-turned-hotel!” he proclaimed in a very squeaky, spreading his little arms wide. “Whether you're here for a night or still living here, MTT Resort prides itself on a great stay!" 

Harry resisted the urge to say something scathing. This monster wasn’t the one who’d been plaguing them for hours, even if he worked for the one that did. So instead, he just forced a smile and said, "Oh, heh, we're just passing through, actually. But thanks!" 

"Just passing through? Nice! MTT Resort prides itself on being passed through!" the origami monster chirped. 

“Uh-huh. Well, thanks again,” Harry said, and he swiftly upped his pace. Peter followed behind, but not before giving the origami monster a little thumbs-up.

“ _ You’re doing a great job, _ ” he mouthed as he passed.

Harry was too busy scanning the lobby as he hurried forward to offer his own modicum of support. His eyes darted back and forth across the pristine, too-shiny floor for some sign of an exit, some sign that they could finally get-

_ Aha!!  _

There, clear across the way, was a bank of elevators. There was a small group of monsters in business suits huddled around them, some tapping their feet or looking disapprovingly at their watches. 

“Bingo,” Harry said aloud, making a direct beeline for the elevators. This was it. Once they got in one of those elevators, they could leave this horrid hotel behind forever and finally,  _ finally  _ take the last few steps toward home. His fingers were practically itching with anticipation to press the little round ‘up’ button by the time they made it to the small crowd.

“Hey, excuse me?” Harry asked, panting slightly from his hasty walk over. The closest monster to them -- a gryphon woman, attired in a sleek business suit and smart wire frames -- glanced up from her wrist expectantly.

“Yes?”

“Do you...Do you know where these elevators go?” he asked. Wow, was he really that out of shape? He didn’t remember being so tired after sprinting from Undyne. Then again, maybe he’d just blocked it out, it being a traumatic experience and all. 

"These elevators go straight to the capitol,” the monster informed him. Peter and Harry broke into grins as they looked at one another with unfiltered glee. Unfortunately, it seemed they had begun celebrating too soon, because the gryphon shook her head apologetically, the bridge of her glasses sliding lower on her feline nose. “But they stopped working a while ago," she said. "The hotel's doing its best to accommodate everybody stuck here." 

The boys doubled over, anguish now overtaking their features. It was like all the air had been let out of a balloon.

“You...don’t say,” Harry croaked.

“I’m afraid so. Sorry, guys. Maybe you can find another way to the capitol?” 

“I guess we’ll have to,” Peter sighed, his hands finding their way into the comfort of his pockets. “Thanks anyway.” He and Harry turned away as the gryphon began to commiserate with a dragon beside her. 

“Well, there goes our easy ride," Harry lamented. It never could be easy, could it? No, they always had to go on some wild goose chase to get to their destination. That was how it’d always been, on the Surface and now under it.

Harry took a deep breath. He unclenched his fists, which had curled up on their own, and brushed his fingers through his damp hair. The first thing he was going to do when he got home was take a hot shower for an hour and a half.  _ At least.  _

“Any suggestions, Pete?” he asked. “‘Cause right now, I’ve got nothing.”

Peter hummed and glanced around the lobby. Maybe there was a fire exit somewhere? Or maybe…

Over on the right, he spotted another glass door. Above that door was a sign, which read  ** _MTT _ ** in big, orange, curlicue lettering. A large image of a burger sat right beside the letters. 

“Hey, why don’t we ask in there?” he asked, brightening. “Maybe one of the employees knows a way through here!” Peter smiled at Harry hopefully. “Who better than someone who works at the resort, right?”

Harry pursed his lips and made an uncertain noise in the back of his throat. “I don’t know… What if Mettaton’s in there? It’d be just our luck.”

“Yeah, but what if he’s not?” Peter countered with a raised brow. 

“I...guess that could also be true. But can we really take that chance?”

“What other choice do we have?” Peter asked. “C’mon, Har, let’s give it a try.”

It only took a few seconds for Harry to reluctantly nod his consent. “Alright...fine. I guess you’re right. But we’d better do this as quickly as possible.”

Peter and Harry made their way into the burger joint, a little bell jingling above their heads as they stepped inside. The person working at the counter was a creature that looked very much like a bear, a cat, and a McDonald’s worker had a child. His red and yellow uniform looked a bit tight and ill-fitting, but the cashier didn’t seem to mind much. He had a very blank, almost  _ haunted  _ look on his face, and it looked like he was staring straight through the boys as if they weren’t even there. 

“Um...hello?” Peter tried, offering a hesitant smile. “Hi! Sorry to bother you, but we-”

The monster at the counter, belatedly registering the presence of his new customers, suddenly jolted as if waking from a particularly bad dream. “Oh, shit,” he muttered, and gave his head a vigorous shake. He slapped his cheeks a couple times, coughed in a very painful way, cleared his throat, and declared in a voice devoid of all authenticity, "Welcome to MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Glamburger. Sparkle up your day (TM)!" The monster’s eye twitched visibly.

Harry tilted his head slightly. Who actually said  _ ™  _ out loud except for Gen Z memers? Not that there was anything wrong with that, considering Peter and himself were basically the same thing, but this cashier looked  _ far  _ beyond his adolescent years. 

"Oh, um, hey!" Peter said again, stepping closer to the counter. “Sorry! Didn’t mean to startle you, haha. Do you have a second to talk?" 

The bear-cat monster laughed. It sounded like he smoked at least three packs a day. Maybe more. 

"Ohh, I'm sorry, heh. It's against the  _ rules  _ to talk to customers who haven't bought anything." Another eye twitch.

“Oh. Uhh...okay,” Harry said, trying to hide the annoyance in his tone. It wasn’t this employee’s fault that company policy was stupid. “What do you recommend, then?”

The monster stared at Harry for an uncomfortable amount of time before sighing dramatically. Every time this man breathed, he sounded like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was honestly pretty concerning.

_ That’s the fast food industry for ya’,  _ Peter thought with a wince.

“What would I recommend? Why, I would only recommend the finest of our burgers to you, good sir!” the cashier said in that same forced, incredibly strained voice. “The always-scrumptious, always-tasty, always- _ fabulous  _ Glamburger (™)!!” He spread his arms wide in a jazz hands gesture, which lasted for approximately three seconds before he dropped them back to the counter and the smile dropped from his face. The monster’s eyes looked so frighteningly hollow and deadened that Peter had to take a small step back. 

Harry, meanwhile, fished in his pocket for his wallet with muttered grumblings under his breath. "Okay, I'll take a Glamburger, then," he said, thrusting a twenty dollar bill across the counter. The monster’s eyes greedily followed the money, and barely two seconds after the bills left Harry’s hands he was snatching them up and stuffing them into the register, moving with a speed they hadn’t previously thought him capable of. He disappeared for a moment into a door in the back, and several moments later he was back with a hamburger that looked like something out of David Bowie’s wet dreams: all shiny, glittery silver and white. It almost looked like it was covered in...sequins?

"Thanksy! Have a FABU-FUL day!" the monster crooned, dropping the burger on Harry’s side of the counter with an audible, meaty  _ schlap. _ Harry carefully picked up the hamburger, wincing at how it felt in his hands. He looked at it closely, sniffed it a few times, then opened his mouth and took the tiniest bite possible. The crunchy, metallic sound it made when his teeth connected was so jarring that he almost gagged on the portion in his mouth. 

While Harry worked on actually swallowing the ‘burger’ (if he could even  _ call  _ it that) bite, Peter rested his elbows on the counter and leaned forward expectantly. "Now can we talk?" 

The monster’s right eye flickered like a tugged window shade. “What? What for? Why do you keep trying to talk to me?” He tugged at his ears and made a noise halfway between growling and keening. “Why do they  _ always  _ try to talk to me?!”

“Whoa, whoa!” Peter exclaimed, holding up his hands. “Sorry, dude, geez. We’re just- we just wanna ask you something, that’s all.”

“Well that’s all fine and dandy for you, but  _ I'll  _ get in trouble if I get chummy with the customers,” the man said through clenched teeth. “So sorry." He looked down in a deliberate manner at his paws, which folded on the counter. It was a clear sign that he wanted to end the conversation. 

“Oh, come on!” Peter protested. “Why would it be so bad? We just wanna ask you a question! We won’t take up too much time. C’mon, this is important, please.”

“Hey! I ordered one of your crummy burgers,” Harry said, pointing an accusatory finger at the monster. “You owe us! Spill.”

The cashier continued to stare down at his folded paws. A few muscles twitched spasmodically in his neck, but other than that, he didn’t move and inch. The boys waited for a good minute or two, but it was apparent that he had no intention of making an effort to converse. Finally, Peter threw his hands up and turned around to go. There was just no reasoning with this guy.

“Alright, geez! Fine. Sorry to bother you, I guess.” He nodded toward the door. “C’mon, Har. We’d better find some other employee to ask.”

“Yeah. Guess so.”

Harry scowled at the cashier before turning on his heel and stomping after Peter. On the way there, he tossed the ‘Glamburger’ in the nearby trash can. That thing was worse than any 3 AM Whopper he’d ever tasted, and that was a hard bar to beat.

Right as Peter reached for the handle, the monster’s head shot up. In a heartbreakingly desperate voice that cracked in three places, he called, "SO, I wanted to be an actor." 

Peter swiveled back to face the counter, eyes wide with hope. Harry glanced over his shoulder. His expression was still sour, but his eyebrows were raised ever so slightly. Any amount of progress, however minute, was enough to pique his interest.

The cashier sighed, hard and heavy, and he beckoned with one furry finger while his other hand went beneath the counter. Moments later it reappeared with a little rolled-up tube. “Hey. Come here, kids.” 

“Alright!” Peter cheered, racing back to the counter. Harry gave a quiet sigh of relief and followed his friend. Now, maybe, they would get somewhere. It had taken the cashier long enough to have a change of heart; another second later and they’d have already been out the door.

By the time they’d crossed the room, the monster had lit the end of the little tube and taken a long, deep drag from it. The vague smell of dead skunk wafting from the joint and circling their heads told them that this was definitely not tobacco. Harry wrinkled his nose. 

_ Ah, I feel closer to home already,  _ he thought wryly.

"I'm getting on in years, so let me give you some advice, little buddies," said the cashier, blowing a puff of acrid smoke from his mouth. The boys tried not to gag. "You've still got time. Don't live like me." Another huge puff of smoke wreathed their shoulders. "I'm nineteen years old and I've already wasted my entire life. Y’see me, here? In this damn restaurant? This is where I’ll be for all the time I got left." 

Peter visibly startled, his mouth forming a small  _ o _ , but he quickly corrected it into a neutral expression. This monster was  _ nineteen?  _ And he looked like  _ that? _

_ Wait. Is that mean? _

He hadn’t meant it to be!! Sure, the guy’s eyebags looked like they could carry bowling balls, but… Peter felt himself redden with shame. Everyone had different lives, and stress affected everyone differently. This cashier must have been through some serious shit to come off looking like he was in his thirties. 

“H-Hey, I’m sure that’s not true,” Peter said, pushing away those embarrassing thoughts. “You still have a lot of your life left! You don’t have to stay at this job forever." He waved his arm around the empty burger joint. He’d never realized how lonely fast food places felt with nobody in them. “Right now this is where you’re at, but it’s never set in stone. Trust me, I know.” Peter offered his most encouraging smile to the monster.

The man chuckled. It sounded like he was dying. "Listen,” he said conversationally. “I like you, kids. So I'm gonna save you a lot of trouble." He dropped the still-smoldering joint on the counter, then suddenly leaned in real close and slammed his fists on the counter. Peter and Harry jumped and yelped in surprise. " _ Never _ interact with attractive people,” he growled through gritted teeth. 

“What?” Peter asked, bewildered. “Whadda you-”

“Unless you're 'one of them', they're just gonna take advantage of you,” he spat. “Like that time those two chicks asked me to sneak them some Glamburgers. And I, naive teenager that I was, said yes to them." His face contorted, obtaining a mortified, far-off expression. "Bad idea." 

"Uhh, what...what happened?" Harry asked, somewhat dreading the answer. The man sighed another sigh and picked up his joint to smoke again. 

"So I went out to the alley to see those two ladies,” he began, speaking between puffs, “and, uh...you know, see what'd happen next." Peter shared a glance with Harry. Ladies in an alley, huh? Who did they know who fit that description?

_ So we’re not the only ones to find Catty and Bratty’s dumpster display,  _ thought Peter.

The man began to shake now. Like, a full-on, full-body shake. The hand holding the foul-smelling cylinder was vibrating so fast that ash was falling like snow on the counter.

"Then my boss, uh,” the cashier finally choked out. “He...saw me, and asked me what I was doing. I was so startled, the hamburgers in my pockets, they just...they just tumbled out onto the ground." He wiped his hand across his brow, and it came away slick and shiny with sweat. Harry gave Peter another look, this one objectively concerned.  _ Is he gonna pass out?  _ He mouthed. Peter gave the tiniest shrug back and shook his head helplessly. What would they do if he did? Who would they call?? They didn’t even know if 911 was a thing in the Underground!

“Hey, uh, are you okay?” Peter spoke up timidly. “You look like you’re about to-”

"Not wanting to lose face,” said the monster, barreling on and completely ignoring Peter’s concerns, “I scrambled to pick them up! But, as I was leaning over, the weight of the remaining hamburgers…” He swallowed. It was an audible swallow, like he was trying to force down cough medicine. ”...caused my pants to fall down." All of a sudden, his whirlwind attitude evaporated. After all the racket he’d been causing, the silence in the restaurant was deafening. He looked down, and seemed to shrink in stature. "Then the girls laughed at me." 

Peter sucked air in through his teeth. "Ouch.” 

"Everyone calls me Burgerpants now," the man concluded in a small voice. 

“That’s...that’s rough, buddy,” Harry said, reaching over to offer a consoling pat on the monster’s shoulder. He was half worried he’d jerk back and fly into another frenzy, but the small twitch of his mouth told Harry he was somewhat grateful for the gesture. 

They stood there awkwardly, all three of them, for what seemed like a very long time. Peter shifted from foot, and his sneakers squeaked slightly on the tile, polished and clean even inside what essentially amounted to a gilded McDonald’s. 

When the silence became too much to bear, Harry decided to prompt ‘Burgerpants’ back onto the right track with a question he hoped would eventually lead to discussing the back exit. If there was one. "So, you work for Mettaton, right?" he asked, affecting what he hoped was a casual tone. “This is his hotel, so…”

Burgerpants stiffened, and Harry flinched. Had he asked the wrong thing?He wans’t sure he could handle another meltdown. Thankfully, though, the monster did start to speak again, and this time it was at a blessedly normal volume.

"Mettaton?” He laughed bitterly. “Ohhh, yeah. I work for Mettaton.  _ Everyone  _ down here practically works for the guy.” Burgergpants took a long drag off his joint now that his hands were no longer shaking. “Y’know… When I first came to Hotland, it was my dream to work with Mettaton." A manic grin spread over his face. "Well, take a look at me  _ now!!!  _ Be careful what you wish for, kids!" He cackled in a decidedly unhinged manner.

"He's, uh...not a good boss?" Harry queried. Not that he even really had to ask; he already knew that working for that egomaniac must have been like pulling teeth. He could only imagine what it had to be like, catering to the robot’s every overzealous whim.

"God, have you even looked  _ around _ ?" Burgerpants yelled, pounding his fist on the counter again. "This place is a labyrinth of bad choices. And every time we try to change something for the better, he vetoes it and says-” Here he affected a very poor imitation of Mettaton’s voice. “-‘ _ That’s not how they do it on the surface.’ _ Oh!  _ Right! _ Humans are  _ always  _ eating hamburgers made of a SEQUINS AND GLUE!!”

Peter’s eyes bugged in their sockets.

_ Sequins and...glue? _

He slowly slid his eyes over to his friend beside him, fearing the worst. Harry’s skin had turned a sickening shade of green. Moving in almost slow motion, he turned his head and looked over his shoulder at the trash can where he’d carelessly tossed his Glamburger. The taste of it filled his mouth again suddenly and violently, like a particularly vengeful specter. He remembered how it had crunched unpleasantly against his teeth, how badly it felt going down…

_ Ohhhh, G o d. _

Harry, feeling his legs weaken, quickly grabbed at the counter and used it to support himself. He wasn’t sure whether the disgusting, inedible concoction was only starting to affect him now, or if it was just the knowledge of what it was that was turning his stomach, but either way, the room had begun to spin in a dizzying cartwheel. He wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up spewing the contents of his insides, sequins and all, directly onto the service counter. 

“Harry?” Peter asked nervously. “Hang in there, pal, maybe...maybe you should sit down-”

“Hey, whoa, you...you doin’ okay there, little buddy?” Burgerpants cut in, sounding genuinely concerned for the first time. “You’re lookin’ a little green there. Here, this oughta help.” He reached underneath the counter and came back with a small white stick-looking thing, which he broke right under Harry’s nose. 

Immediately, the room snapped back into place, and the roiling sea of Harry’s stomach calmed. The aroma of the thing Burgerpants had shoved in his face was so pungent, so powerful, that he physically reeled back. catching himself on a nearby chair just before he fell on his ass.

“ _ Holy shit!  _ What the- How did-?? What  _ is  _ that?” he gasped, staring at Burgerpants with a mix of gratitude and awe.

“Good ol’ smelling salts,” Burgerpants said proudly, smirking as he tossed the broken stick behind him. “I always keep a couple under my station in case of a psychotic break.” He leaned an elbow against the counter and smiled in a nostalgic way. “Yep, these babies’ve helped snap me out of a homicidal rage more times than I can count. And they’re pretty good for nausea, too. As you can see, heh.” 

Harry staggered his way back to Peter’s side, rubbing his forehead. “Well...thanks,” he said, letting out a long breath. “That was...very effective.”

"Yeah, thanks,” Peter agreed, patting his friend on the back. “I was worried for a sec there! You okay?”

“I’m fine now. Just, uh...I think I’ll pass on any more Glamburgers.” His face colored slightly again. 

Burgerpants’s serene expression morphed back into one of unbridled anger. “Damn that Mettaton,” he cursed. “I  _ told  _ him nobody wants those things!! They’re putrid! Look what happened to you! If people knew what was  _ really  _ in these things, they’d all quit ‘em cold turkey.” He began to pace, his hands drifting behind his back and his head lowered like a bull about to charge.

"Why do people find him so attractive?" he ranted. "He’s done nothing for monsters. Not a  _ thing!  _ All he does is- is flout his celebrity status, and do his stupid dances, and- He's literally just a freaking rectangle. A RECTANGLE!” Burgerpants threw his hands up in the air, just barely managing to keep a hold of his joint. “That’s not sexy!! IT’S JUST A SHAPE!" 

As quickly as he’d begun shouting again, Burgerpants got eerily quiet. He looked down at his hands and the smoldering joint, as if in deep thought, and he pursed his lips. "You know,” he confessed in a tiny voice, “one time, I actually bought one of those, uh, kits online...to...uh, make yourself more rectangular." The monster seemed to shrink. ”...They don't work." 

Peter and Harry blinked, uncomprehending. What the hell was he talking about? A kit to make someone  _ rectangular?  _ Why would that-

And then it hit them, both at the same time, a speeding train of understanding crashing through their minds. Harry had to turn away briefly so that he didn’t burst out laughing. Peter, luckily, was able to stay more composed, the crinkles around his eyes the only indicator of his thoughts. 

_ Oh my God, it’s like a dick enlarger. _

So that was what monsters had. Rectangle kits. Well, they could feasibly have had the  _ other  _ thing, too, but there was absolutely no way in hell Peter was going to ask. Learning about different cultures truly was fascinating!

“Hey, man, it’s okay,” Peter said, swallowing the last dregs of his surprised hilarity. “You don’t need to be...more  _ rectangular.  _ You just need to be yourself. That’s your best bet.” He smiled sheepishly. “Sorry if that’s cheesy. Most of my advice usually is. But I do mean it.”

Burgerpants waved away his concern, creating a faint, smokey figure 8 in the air. “Nah, it’s alright, little buddy,” he sighed. “I ‘ppreciate your efforts. Y’know, it’s nice, in a way. I haven’t had anyone who’s really  _ listened  _ to me since…” He trailed off and shook his head. “Eh, never mind. You don’t need to hear an old man’s tale of woe.”

“You’re not  _ old _ ,” Harry said, having recovered from his bout of silent giggles. It wasn’t that he was laughing at  _ Burgerpants;  _ he was just laughing at the fact that an equivalent to a Big Dick Pill existed Underground. “Come on, man, you have your whole life ahead of you. Think of the future!”

Burgerpants brayed out a laugh that tapered with a painful-sounding hacking noise. Peter was starting to think that weed wasn’t the only thing he smoked.

"Future? WHAT future?” Burgerpants asked snidely. “Nothing down here EVER changes. I'll probably be trapped at this stupid job forever. It’s over for me, little buddies. There’s nothing left. Nothing but glitzy, shiny, glue-and-sequin HELL.” 

“Hey, come on, now,” Peter said, knitting his brows. “Don’t think like that, really. That’s not-”

“But wait!” Burgerpants exclaimed suddenly, his eyes bulging. “There's one thing that keeps me going!!” 

“Y-Yeah?” Harry asked, leaning back slightly. He still wasn’t quite used to Burgerpants’s outbursts and rapidly fluctuating moods. “That’s good! What is it?”

Burgerpants leaned across the counter again, this time getting so close that he was practically in their faces. "If Asgore gets just  _ two  _ more souls, we'll finally get to go to the Surface!” he said intensely, his eyes shining. “It'll be a brand new world! New places, new people, new JOBS! There's  _ gotta  _ be a second chance out there for me! For everyone!!" He shot bolt upright and raised his hands in curled fists, another grin coming over his face. His whole body was shaking again. “That’s what we’re all hopin’ for, ain’t it?”

“O-Oh..um, y-yeah!” Peter said, trilling a laugh that dipped in and out of way too many vocal ranges for his liking. “Yeah! That’s, that’s...great, man. I know you’ll get there. Somehow, some way, you’ll-” He caught himself and quickly backpedaled. “Uh,  _ we’ll  _ see the Surface.” He nodded vigorously. Beside him, Harry tried to ignore the cold feeling seeping into his stomach as he shot Burgerpants a shaky thumbs-up.

“Yeah, t-totally,” he said. “We’ll...we’ll get there.”

Their responses seemed to satisfy Burgerpants. Bringing the joint to his mouth, he took one more big puff. The redness in his eyes had become more pronounced over the course of their conversation. "Yep. So stay strong, little buddies. Y’know, when I make it big up there, I'll keep you in mind." 

Peter and Harry managed to give him twin smiles that they hoped didn’t look as nervous as they felt. 

“Thanks, heh. We appreciate it.” Peter brushed some hair back from his eyes. Thankfully, his hands had stopped shaking. “Um, we just have one more question before we go, if that’s alright.”

Harry perked up and nodded quickly. Finally, they were going to find out what they came for!

“Yeah!” he blurted. “Do you know if there’s, like, a back way out of this place? The hotel, I mean. There doesn’t seem to be a way around it from the outside, and the elevators are broken, so we thought…”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, there’s a way out back,” Burgerpants said, idly stubbing out his joint.

“ _ Where?! _ ” Peter and Harry cried in unison. 

“Didja see the door right next to this place?” the monster asked, nodding to his right. “The one that says ‘closed for repairs’?” 

The boys thought about it. They honestly couldn’t remember if they had. With all the urgency they’d been feeling to get through the resort without running into Mettaton, it was very possible they’d missed it.

“Uhh, we probably...walked by it,” Peter said with a sheepish smile.

“It happens,” Burgerpants laughed. “That’s the exit. Just go through there and you’ll find yourselves in the Core. Not sure what you’d wanna go there for, though; the place is a maze of machinery. Very intimidating.” He shuddered. “Definitely not for me.”

“ _ Thank  _ you,” Harry gasped, actually reaching over and shaking the man’s hand fervently. “Thank you thank you  _ thank you. _ ” Burgerpants seemed surprised by the gesture, but he shook Harry’s hand and laughed awkwardly.

“Oh, uh, no problem, little buddy. You two be careful out there, ya’ hear? I don’t wanna be the reason you get lost or whatever.”

“We’ll be careful. Thanks, B- I mean, thanks,” Peter said, offering him a genuine grin. “And thanks again for chatting with us. We know it was kind of against protocol.”

“Eh, it’s the least I could do, since you listened to this old man’s gripes.” His face softened into something akin to a real smile, devoid of any mania or rage, and he gave a half-wave. “See ya’ round.”

“Definitely.”

They waved back to Burgerpants, then made their way out of MTT Brand Burger Emporium and back into the main lobby. Sure enough, the minute they exited, they caught sight of the door that their new friend had mentioned.

“Huh,” Harry said. “I guess we really did just walk right by it.”

“Yeah, heh, guess we did,” Peter chuckled. “Well, we did lose some time in there, but I’m honestly not too bothered by it. I mean, if we hadn’t stopped in, we wouldn’t have met Burgerpants!” He laughed, but frowned and cocked his head after a moment. “Hm...I feel bad calling him that. It’s not really a nickname he picked.”

“You know, I don’t think we ever asked his real name,” Harry realized. “Shoot. Uh, that’s awkward.”

“We’ll find out eventually,” Peter said confidently. “Maybe we can ask him next time we see him. Which’ll hopefully be on the Surface.” He scratched at his neck thoughtfully. “Damn. I just wish he’d have someone to talk to while he’s still down here. He seemed really lonely…”

“Yeah, it’s too bad. Retail’s a stressful enough job as it is.” 

Harry looked toward the exit again -- the exit that had seemed so intangible just a few minutes ago -- then looked back to Peter. “Well...ready to move on?”

Peter nodded. “Yup. I think I-”

His eyes suddenly widened, and he snapped his fingers. A big, beaming grin had appeared on his face, and he swiveled toward the front of the hotel. “Oh, wait!! Harry, I just had a great idea. A genius idea, in fact.”

“What?” Harry asked. “What’s up? What do you mean?”

Peter grabbed his arm and started running for the front doors, causing Harry to yelp in surprise and try to pull him back.

“Pete! Wait!  _ Wait!  _ We’re supposed to go through the back way, remember?! What are you doing?” he wailed.

“Trust me, pal,” Peter said breathlessly over his shoulder. “I think I just figured out how to solve our cashier friend’s desire for chatting.”

Harry just shook his head in bewilderment, sighing lightly as he gave up resisting and just ran along with Peter. It was easier that way. He was just going to have to accept the fact that they’d need to hang around the dreaded resort a little bit longer. If Peter had an idea, he was going to try and see it through. 

_ Besides,  _ Harry reasoned,  _ if it’ll help out Burgerpants, it’ll probably be worth it. That guy needs all the help he can get. _


	52. Second Chances (And Burgers)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter decides to try and get Burgerpants some new friends. After getting Catty and Bratty's side of the story, though, Peter and Harry go confront the cashier about his swiftness to judge. Luckily, their little talk seems to knock some sense into Burgerpants, and Catty and Bratty agree to meet up with him to hang after work. Having finished their work at the hotel, they can finally, finally move on to the Core -- and, hopefully, home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes up today because I finished early and I'm the god of this story and I say so B)

The second he and Harry made it out of the glass double doors, Peter made a beeline straight for the narrow alley at the right side of the building.

“Wha-?” Harry mumbled, trying not to scrape his elbows on the tight brick walls as they squeezed themselves through once again. Whoever had designed that alley was either inept or a  _ serious  _ asshole. “What’re we doing back here??”

Peter managed to shoot him another grin over his shoulder despite the close quarters.

“You’ll see.”

As Peter had hoped, Catty and Bratty were still right where they’d left them, leaning up against the pea-green dumpster and chatting animatedly. Stumbling only slightly as he emerged into the larger part of the alley, Peter called, “Hey, guys! Catty, Bratty!”

At the sound of his voice, the two monsters’ heads whipped around from whatever conversation they’d been having. "Hey, it's the humans!!” they exclaimed as one, pushing off their perch and racing to greet the boys. 

"Yeah, hey!" Peter said, internally questioning if they’d really forgotten their names in such a short span of time.

“Like, what brings you back to our neck of the woods?” Catty asked curiously, one ear flicking out to the side. “Um, I mean, alley. Not woods. There are no woods here!” She laughed, her shoulders bouncing up and down to the rhythm of her amusement. Neither Peter nor Harry could keep a smile off their face at the sight of it. Something about the jovial purple cat’s laughter was infectious.

"Oh! I, uh, I just wanted to ask you guys about that guy inside. The cashier at the burger place?” Peter said, inclining his head slightly. Catty and Bratty’s faces changed into similar masks of disdain. Bratty flipped some of her hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms.

"Oh, that guy from the store?" she asked, sticking out her tongue. "Yuck, what a creep." 

"Yeah!" Catty said in agreement. "He's a creep!” She paused, bringing one paw up to her chin thoughtfully. “But he's kind of cute, too..." 

Bratty looked incredulously down her long snout at her friend, eyes widening in disbelief. "What?? Like, C'mon, Catty, don't you have ANY standards?" she snorted.

"Nope!" Catty tittered, and her titter segued into another full-body laugh.

“A creep?” Harry asked with an obvious note of surprise. “Really? What’d he do?” Thinking back, though, he supposed he could see how Burgerpants might come off as somewhat  _ off.  _ After all, the guy did have a tendency to fluctuate between somewhat calm and totally manic. But to be described as  _ creepy… _ ?

"Uh, yeah," Bratty huffed. "Okay, like, the annoying thing is..." 

"He'd be okay if he just treated us with some respect," Catty cut in. Bratty nodded sagely as she picked at some of the loose threads on her shirt.

"But he just acts...really weird," she said. 

"And then acts like it's OUR fault he acts that way!" Catty added indignantly. 

Peter and Harry frowned. 

“Is that so?” asked Peter, narrowing his eyes. Suddenly, the conversation they had with the jaded cashier was looking a lot less favorable. Had he lied straight to their faces? Worse, if he had,  _ why  _ had they just straight-up believed him?

Bratty nodded, her painted reptilian lips pushed forward in a pout. "Like, when we asked him to get those Glamburgers..." 

"He dropped them and ran away before we could even say anything! And on his way out, he muttered something like, ‘Damn hot people! I should’ve known never to trust  _ two  _ pretty best friends.’" 

“That’s not what we were told,” Harry said. “Now I’m wondering if we might have been a little too willing to believe what the  _ very-obviously _ high monster said.” Peter lowered his head and let out a guilty little chuckle. 

“Yeah, heh...I’m, uh, I’m sorry you got burned like that, guys. That’s not cool.”

"Yeah, me too!! Especially since we were, like, going to share them,” Bratty insisted. 

Catty tilted her head. "Really? I wasn't." 

" _ Catty!! _ ” Bratty swatted her on the arm, earning another chuckle. 

“That fibbing, burger-flipping asshole,” Harry muttered, rolling up the sleeves of his sweater. “I have half a mind to go back in there and give him a piece of my mind.” 

Sure, two minutes ago he might’ve been against doing anything that might take up more time from their imminent exit, but this was important. Harry Theopolois Osborn was not about to let some pothead bear-cat-guy do their new friends dirty like that. 

“Whoa, roll those sleeves down there, Rocky,” Peter chuckled, raising his hands in a gesture of supplication. “We’re not looking for a fight. But I do agree that we should go and talk to our  _ pal  _ in there again.” He tapped his foot, his lips slanting. “I’d like to get a few things straight.” He turned to the mouth of the alley, waving to Catty and Bratty as he did so. “We’ll be back, guys. Just give us a minute or two.”

“If you do talk to him, tell him to get us more Glamburgers!” Catty shouted after them. “We’ll, like, totally share this time if they don’t fall and get all nasty and grody!!”

“Will do!” Peter called back, but he was pretty preoccupied with figuring out exactly what to say to Burgerpants. He didn’t want to go in guns a-blazing (figuratively, of course), since it was still possible that he’d merely exaggerated rather than outright lied… But he was also peeved enough that he wasn’t ready to let him off easy. 

Harry was now the one leading the way as they exited the shady alley and once again went in through the double doors of MTT Resort. His face was hardened in a displeased scowl as he stormed straight toward the Burger Emporium. He flung the door open with as much force as he could muster, although Peter was careful to catch it before it swung into the wall and made a dent. They didn’t need anyone reporting them for property damage.  _ Especially _ not in this hotel. 

"Hey, Burgerpants!” Harry shouted. “We wanna talk to you!”

Burgerpants, like Catty and Bratty, was where they’d left him: behind the counter, looking dead-eyed and exhausted. Though, the joint in his hand was significantly shorter than before. 

When Harry and Peter made their grand entrance, the monster only known to them as Burgerpants jolted from his stagnant position violently. For a moment he glanced around with wild abandon before settling his red-rimmed eyes on the stern-looking brunet boys at the counter. When he registered who it was, his posture relaxed, and he took a small drag from his joint as a lazy smile appeared on his face.

"Oh, it’s you, little buddies! What's up? Come back to hear some more priceless wisdom from your honorary older brother?" 

"We just talked to Catty and Bratty," Harry said, trying very hard to control his volume. He just barely succeeded. “You know, the very nice ladies in the back alley?”

Burgerpants jolted again, his whole upper body lurching backward. "Y-Yeah?" He swallowed hard. The fingers on his opposite hands found each other in a nervous, tappy sort of gesture. “W-What’d they say??” 

“Actually, I think we’re a little more interested in what  _ you _ said,” Harry replied. The chill in his voice was something he made no effort to hide. Burgerpants gulped again, and he backed up against the opposite wall.

“H-Heh...I...I dunno what you’re talkin’ about, little buddy!” He made a strangled noise that could’ve been an attempt at a laugh. “Did I...what did I say?”

“Well, you said something not so nice about our friends,” said Peter, crossing his arms over his chest and pursing his lips. “And we’d like to set the record straight, if you don’t mind.”

“You’ll, uh, hafta refresh my memory,” the monster stammered. 

“I’d be glad to.” Harry put his hands on the counter, palms splayed out flat, and leaned as far across as he could. “If I remember correctly, you insinuated that our friends back there weren’t very nice to you, when in fact, it seems to be the other way around. Does ‘Damn hot people, I should’ve known never to trust two pretty best friends’ sound familiar?” Harry’s glower darkened as Burgerpants gave another high-pitched, stuttery squawk.

“Did, uh...did I...did I say that?” Burgerpants asked, tugging at the collar of his uniform. “Boy howdy, fellas, I mean...well...you know, I was only being honest!” Growing slightly emboldened, he took a step away from the wall. “Th-They were laughing at me, they set me up! They  _ knew  _ I’d look like a fool! They only asked me to get them those burgers so they could laugh and point and gloat about how utterly superior their hotness is!  _ Tell me I’m wrong! _ ”

“Of course you’re wrong, dumbass!” Harry exploded. A tiny part of him felt bad at calling an exhausted food industry worker a dumbass, but in this case he felt it was warranted. Just this once. “What the hell made you think  _ that?  _ According to them, you ran away before they could even say anything!”

“But they laughed!!” Burgerpants whined. “They didn’t have to say anything, I already knew what they were gonna say!”

“Did you even wait for them to  _ stop  _ laughing?” Peter interjected. “Look, man, I’m sorry they laughed at you -- that probably didn’t feel too good. But to be completely fair, the scenario you described was kinda funny. I mean, accidental pantsing? Come on, oldest gag in the book!” He smiled sheepishly when the monster threw him a glare. “I mean!! Maybeeee you should’ve just...waited a second longer or something! I’m sure they would’ve offered to help you pick them up. You know, they actually said they'd probably hang out with you, if you stopped acting like they owe you and, like, saw things from their perspective.” 

He scratched at his head idly. 

“Instead of, you know, automatically assuming they’re gonna act a certain way just because they’re attractive women.” 

Burgerpants considered this. His face turned pensive, and he stuck his hands in the pockets of his pants. Harry studied him with a guarded expression. Was he really thinking it over, or was he just- 

“Poor, naive little buddies,” said Burgerpants after a moment, slipping into a somewhat punchable smirk. “They've brainwashed you. 'Friendship' is just a hot person's way of making you their slave." He shook his head slowly. “They really have you under their thumb, don’t they? Maybe I was foolish to think I could protect you. I guess this is just another defeat on the long list of many in my life.” 

Harry just barely stopped himself from reaching across the gap between them and shaking the monster by his collar. That would not go over well for either of them. 

“Actually,” he said, regulating his tone with every ounce of effort he could muster, “I think  _ you’re  _ the one who’s brainwashed,  _ Burgerpants. _ ” Harry couldn’t help but feel some distant satisfaction when the cashier winced at the sound of his unfortunate nickname. “You’re so caught up in wallowing in your own self-pity that you can’t even see a good thing when it’s right in front of your face.” 

Harry whirled around, having said his piece, and straightened his back. Without sparing another glance for the hapless monster behind the counter, he made his way for the doors, gesturing for Peter to follow him.

“C’mon, Pete. Clearly he doesn’t actually want our help.”

Peter gave the stricken Burgerpants a somewhat sad look; a look that said  _ Sorry, I do feel for you, but he’s kind of right _ . Then he gave a half-hearted wave and turned to follow his friend, heart heavy with the fact that his brilliant idea hadn’t worked after all. 

_ Well, I guess that’s just how it goes sometimes,  _ he thought.  _ Not everything works out picture-perfectly. _

Just before they could reach the doors, in an almost exact replay of what had occurred fifteen minutes ago, Burgerpants suddenly called out after them, desperation so apparent in his voice that it was almost painful to hear. 

_ “W-Wait!!” _

Once again, Peter and Harry paused. Harry faced him with narrowed eyes.

“What?”

Burgerpants tugged at his collar and wiped at the sweat collecting on his furry brow. "So, uh-” He coughed twice to get the cracks and kinks out, then continued, “Hypothetically, let’s say that the ladies are...s-serious, about this whole thing. What...what time would they wanna hang out?" The man’s reddened eyes were laser-focused on Harry, and his head twitched to the side every moment or two.

“Well,” Harry said, folding his arms across his chest guardedly. “That depends. Are  _ you  _ serious about ‘this whole thing’? Are you gonna give them the respect they deserve? And not immediately jump to the conclusion that everyone you find attractive either A., owes you something-” He began to tick off on his fingers. “-or B., is out to get you?” 

Peter stayed silent while his friend spoke. He was more than confident that Harry could handle this. It was pretty amazing to see, too. Just like the situation they faced with the Snowdrake, Harry’s desire to speak up for people being spoken over had completely taken hold and allowed him to take charge. It couldn’t have made Peter more proud of his best friend.

Burgerpants glanced down at his shaking hands, but only for a second. When he lifted his head, he looked genuinely contrite.

“I...yeah,” he said quietly. “Yeah. I, uh...I guess it may be time to admit that I kinda jumped the gun back there, huh?”

Harry snorted. “Uh, yeah.” But then he softened, just a bit, and he sighed lightly. “Alright. Pete, can you go ask them if they’re still down?”

Peter bounced in place with a wide, eager smile. “Yeah!! Be right back.” Before Harry or Burgerpants could take a breath to reply, the spider-boy was out the door and whizzing around to the side alley, leaving only a slight cool breeze in his wake. Harry couldn’t help but shake his head with a low laugh.

“He was just waiting to do that, eh?” asked Burgerpants, who’d become comfortable enough again to lean against the counter loosely. Harry smirked, now.

“Yeah. Probably.” 

Peter reached the alley in record time, bursting through the narrow walls and landing directly in front of a very surprised Catty and Bratty.

“Hey, you’re back!” Catty said. She tilted her head and looked around curiously, one purple ear flicking to the side. “But, like, where’s your friend??”

Peter held up his finger as he doubled over and tried to catch his breath. When the little shiny sparklies stopped dancing around his vision, he straightened up and swept the damp hair back from his forehead, regarding the two monsters with a grin.

“He’s...inside,” he panted. “With Burgerpants. He said...he said he’d be down to hang out with you, if you really wanna.” Peter sucked in a big breath, letting it out slowly. “Whew. Sorry, I don’t usually sprint like that. I’m more of a long-distance runner.” Shaking his head, he continued, “Anyway, Har and I had a little talk with him, and it sounds like he’s ready to give maturity a try.” 

Catty and Bratty exchanged glances. Bratty didn’t look zazzed, but Catty was all smiles.

"Oh, uh...I, like, don’t know if-" 

"Yeah!! He should come look for junk with us!" Catty gushed. Bratty groaned and put a hand to her temple.

"But like, if we let him hang out with us...I just worry it'll..." 

"Be really super fun!" Catty finished.

"Um, that was NOT what I was gonna say." 

"But I was close, right?" Catty’s tail swished excitedly behind her, like a kitten spotting a particularly enticing paper bag.

"So, is that a yes?" Peter asked hopefully. “I understand your reservations, Bratty, I really do. After how he treated you before, I wouldn’t blame you if you wanna avoid him. But,” he admitted, “after talking with him just now, I think he sounded pretty sincere about it. Harry really made sure he got the message.” Rocking back on his feet, Peter added, “And in all honesty, I think he’s an okay guy. He’s just kind of fed up with...everything, really.” He chuckled. “I bet you could help him feel a little less like things are hopeless. But, still, it’s up to you.”

Bratty sighed and rested a hand on her hip. "Well, that kind of guy...you hang out with him once, then he wants to hang out...all. The. Time," she said. “And I, like, don’t know if I could handle that.” 

"But don't you feel bad for him, Bratty?" Catty implored, hitting her friend with a familiar pair of puppy dog eyes. "Poor Burgerpants! Think about how cool we are compared to him!!! We'd be saving his LIFE with our friendship! His LIFE, Bratty!" She fell to one knee and laid her arm across her forehead dramatically, her other hand reaching up for the other monster.

Bratty gave a very crocodilian snort. "Uh, so?" 

Catty paused and sucked on her lip. Suddenly, a lightbulb must have gone off in her head, because she popped back to her feet and added, "Think of all the Glamburgers he could get for us!" 

Immediately, Bratty's eyes lit up, and she turned back to the waiting Peter. "So, is he free after work?" 

Peter, catching the subtle (or, actually, not-so-subtle) wink that Catty shot his way, clapped his hands and gave a delighted nod.

“I think so! I’ll go check. I’d say count on it, though.” 

“Awesome!!” the two chorused together.

With another parting wave to Catty and Bratty, Peter spun around and dashed back out of the alley -- this time making sure not to put on full speed. The distance was so short that there was really no need to show off. Who would he show off  _ for,  _ anyway? The hotel itself? How silly.

When he returned to the MTT Brand Burger Emporium, he found, to his pleasant surprise, Harry and Burgerpants conversing over by the counter. Harry looked far more relaxed than he had before, and his body language was no longer so closed off. It looked like he believed in Burgerpants’s sincerity as much as Peter did.

“Alright, I’m back,” called Peter, strolling up to the counter. Burgerpants, who’d been in the middle of opening his mouth to reply to Harry, suddenly went bolt upright. He fixated on Peter and raised his hands to his mouth, somewhat unconsciously beginning to gnaw on one of his claws. 

“Y-Yeah? Uh, what’d they say?” he asked around his finger.

"They were wondering if you’d be down to hang out after work. Whaddaya say?” Seeing the monster’s shocked expression, Peter offered an encouraging smile. “Looks like they’re willing to give you a chance after all, buddy.”

Burgerpants looked absolutely flabbergasted. For a moment, Peter worried that maybe he’d frozen up. Soon, though, he murmured, "They wanna hang out after work?" A big grin broke out across his face, wider than they’d ever seen him smile. He began to laugh, pumping his fist in the air. " _ Yes!!! _ I won't let you down!" 

“Well, well,” Harry said. He was smirking, but the little crinkles around his eyes betrayed his genuine satisfaction. “There you go, dude. You have your chance to make some friends. Make sure you don’t blow it again, okay?”

Burgerpants grabbed another joint from below the counter and lit it, taking a long, deep, celebratory drag from it. When he let it out, Peter and Harry had to do their best not to start gagging. They didn’t want to ruin his big moment.

"Little buddies...thank you,” said Burgerpants once he’d breathed in enough of the acrid substance. “I really don’t know how to repay you. You've brought a tear to the eye of this old man.” 

“Repay us by working on that attitude change,” Harry said. “Remember, most people aren’t out to trip you up, man.” He thought about it, then laughed a little. “ _ Most. _ But still, give people a chance. Chances are that they’re pretty cool.” 

“I hear you,” the monster said solemnly, raising one hand and putting the other over his heart in an off-brand scout’s promise. “I’ll be doin’ some serious reevaluating of my life and philosophies. You’ve shown me the way, my little friends. I’m a brand new man.”

“Good to hear it,” Peter chuckled. “We believe in you, Bur- uh, buddy.”

Burgerpants, still clearly very pleased, took another hit of his joint, then studied Peter intently. “So, uh, where do they want to go? Did they say? Are we just gonna hang in the alley? What’s the plan?" 

"Oh! I think they were gonna go to the garbage dump," Peter said. “They were excited to scavenge for some items over there with you. It’s kind of what they do, heh.” 

"...The dump. They want to go to the garbage dump,” Burgerpants murmured, almost to himself. “Of all the places in the Underground for a first hangout…” He shook his head firmly and rolled his shoulders back, lifting his chin. “Well, so be it! Nowhere to go but up, right, little buddies?" 

Peter and Harry nodded sagely. He was right, and it was heartening to see him bounce back from a possible freak out so quickly. Besides, the dump wasn’t all that bad; there were definitely a lot of hidden treasures to be found! Peter had a feeling that Burgerpants would enjoy scavenging for garbage with Catty and Bratty a lot more than he was anticipating.

"Well, have fun!" Peter said, shooting Burgerpants two matching finger-guns as he began to back up toward the door. “Glad we could help out with the whole ‘making friends’ thing. You’re totally gonna nail it.” 

“The support is greatly appreciated,” the monster called, waving with the hand holding the joint and painting abstract smokey trails in the air. “It’s all thanks to you, little buddies!! I won’t forget this!”

Both boys gave Burgerpants another friendly wave. Then they pushed open the doors and stepped back out into the lobby, content with their contribution. Hopefully, after their little go-between, Burgerpants would find two good friends in Catty and Bratty, and change up his general perspective a bit to boot.

"Well, I think our work here is finally done," Harry said with a satisfied smile as he cast a short glance around him. "Now, once and for all, let's get  _ out  _ of this hotel." 

"Harry, I couldn’t agree more," Peter agreed with a relieved nod. And so, they made their way to the taped-up door that Burgerpants had mentioned back in their first conversation, each hoping silently that what he’d said was true. Peter took a deep breath before pushing on it lightly. Sure enough, the door swung open, revealing the comforting sight of an all-too familiar path.

“Yes!!” Harry cheered, though it sounded more like a gasp. He’d never been so happy to be greeted by an overwhelming blast of heat. He didn’t even care that his hair became instantly plastered to his forehead as soon as he stepped across the threshold and took a deep breath of humid air. “Oh, my God, I missed this. I missed this so much.”

“I did, too,” Peter said, closing the door behind himself as he walked up next to Harry. “Meeting our new pals was fun, but I think I’m definitely ready to get a move on.”

“Same here. And there’s nary a Mettaton in sight.” Just how he liked it. 

With one final look back at the infamous robot’s grand hotel, Peter and Harry turned their sights frontward and took their first steps toward whatever was coming next. After navigating through such a large obstacle, they were feeling almost invincible -- and though they were careful not to let that get to their heads, they were instilled with renewed confidence anyhow. Because now, depending on how far the Core stretched, they were only several meters away from the capitol, and the king...and home.


	53. Enter the CORE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys begins guiding Peter and Harry through the Core, but the trio run into mishap after mishap. Alphys seems more stressed out than usual, and the boys are growing concerned. What could be going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alphys is my daughter and I want to hug her So Badly!!

If the machinery of the Core had looked huge and impressive from way back in the heart of Hotland, it was nothing compared to the majesty of seeing it up close. 

A long, wooden plank walkway stretched from the edge of MTT Resort over a deep, dark vod into the Core proper. Below the walkway, embedded on either side of the rocky walls, were intricate, almost crystalline circuits, glowing a faint red periodically. In fact, it was very possible that there were no cavern walls behind the machinery, and that the machines themselves were supporting the weight of the next area alone.

“So...this is the Core,” Harry murmured as he and Peter slowly crossed over the walkway. 

“Yup,” Peter said. His eyes were instantly drawn to all the gadgets opposite them, and he had to tear his gaze away to make sure he didn’t actually wander off the path into the chasm below. “The source of power for all the Underground.”

He remembered Dr. Alphys saying that Asgore was the one who had designed the Core. If that was true, then the man must have been somewhat of a technical genius himself. Even with all of his recent mechanical training at SHIELD, Peter was certain that it would take him ages to figure out how something  _ this  _ complex worked, let alone create something like it. 

“I hope it’s not too big an area,” Harry said, glancing around. They’d made it all the way across the walkway and now stood at the entrance proper to the Core. Past the doorway they could see a room colored entirely blue, with only a few chromatic accents here and there along the perimeter. It was certainly a drastic change from the bright, warm colors of Hotland. 

Just before they could cross the threshold, Alphys called them on the phone. 

“Oh!! Hey, Alphys!” Peter greeted, setting the phone to speaker. He was glad that she’d called, especially at a time like this. He felt that it would only be right for her to share the last few moments of their journey with them. She’d earned that much, for sure. “So, we’re finally here, huh? The Core?”

“Y-Y-Yup,” Alphys said, stuttering out a little chuckle. “It’s, uh...It’s pretty crazy that you’re actually there! It feels like...I-It feels like you just left the lab, heheh.” She was doing her best to hide it, but Peter still picked up on the note of sadness in her tone. Instantly the spider-boy felt guilty. He logically knew that he had nothing to feel guilty  _ for,  _ and that getting home was extremely important, but he still felt somewhat...bad. Like they were abandoning Alphys after all that she’d done for them.

Peter shook his head quickly. That was just plain not true; they weren’t abandoning her. They were going to come back for her. For all of them. Getting home was just the first step in getting every person out of the Underground for good. Surely Alphys understood what they had to do. It was normal to feel sad when saying goodbye to friends, anyhow, even temporarily. 

A small smile returning to his face, he said, “Well, that’s all thanks to you. You did a great job getting us here. We owe you, Alphys, seriously.”

“O-Oh, y-you don’t...owe me anything!” Alphys assured him hurriedly. “I-I was happy to help. Really. Especially after all you’ve done to help me, too.” There was a brief period of silence on both ends as they soaked in the present moment. An important moment, too, to be sure. Then, suddenly, Alphys spoke up again, and her voice wavered even more than usual. “H-Hey...Hang on. Who are they?” She sounded uncharacteristically concerned. They could hear typing coming from the phone.

Peter and Harry gave each other a bewildered look.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Harry asked, swiveling on his heel to get a look around the room. “I don’t see any-”

That’s when he spotted them. Two dark, tall, silent figures were slowly slinking out from either door at the back of the room. Unlike when they’d encountered most of the other various monsters throughout the Underground, Harry felt a knot tighten painfully in his stomach. It was a gut reaction, literally, and he couldn’t help but freeze in place as the creatures continued to advance. 

"N-Nobody else is s-supposed to be here…” Alphys murmured to herself. Peter didn’t like how genuinely worried she sounded. Throughout the situation with Mettaton she’d been her usual worrywart self, but she’d also had a sort of steadfast confidence. If the sudden appearance of these two creatures was enough to shake her, what did that mean for them…? 

_ Still, _ he told himself, _ it’s going to be fine. _ It had to be. They were too close to let a little something like intimidation scare them away.

“Whoa, whoa,” Peter said with a strained laugh. He raised his hands up in a non-threatening gesture and backed up a bit, keeping his eyes on the ominously silent monsters. “H-Hey, guys! Uh, sorry to bother you. We’re not here to cause any trouble, r-really. We’re just, um.,.” His eyes darted back and forth. “Here to...inspect the machinery! Yeah!” he laughed again, but it sounded just as constricted as before. “K-King Asgore’s orders, you know?” 

The monsters didn’t say anything, but they did stop their slow shuffle forward. Peter held his breath. It was a real Bugs Bunny of a lie, but maybe it had been enough?

Ten seconds ticked by in unbearable stillness. Then, just when Peter was starting to hear the beating of his own heart, the two shadowy figures turned and disappeared back through the doors they’d come from. Peter let out the breath he’d been holding in a big, cartoony  _ whoosh _ . Harry’s sigh was a bit more realistic, but he wasn’t any less relieved.

“Oh, God,” he muttered, smoothing his hair back. “This close, and we’re  _ still  _ running into shit that freaks me out.”

“Alphys, what happened?” Peter asked, cautiously attempting to peer through one of the doorways from across the room. “Were there not supposed to be any other monsters here?”

“N-N-No...I don’t...I don’t think-” They heard a short huff on the other end, and when she next spoke, her tone was as normal as she could make it. “N-Never mind, don’t worry. I-I’m sure it was nothing.” Alphys cleared her throat. “But, um, look! See that elevator right in front of you?”

They looked. Sure enough, situated between the two mystery doors was a gleaming monochrome elevator. 

“Yep!”

"This is it!” she exclaimed. “Take the elevator up to the top of the Core!!" Both boys were comforted to hear actual excitement in her voice. Sure, there had been a minor scare for a moment there, but it was all over now. They were  _ here.  _ Taking that elevator would place them directly where they wanted to be. And from there, all they’d have to do was meet the king and convince him to let them go! 

How hard could that be?

"Wow," Peter breathed, his eyes sparkling with joy. “I can’t believe this is really it. We...We made it, Har.”

“You made it,” Alphys echoed. “Y-You really did! S-So what are you waiting for? Go ahead!”

Peter and Harry gave each other a short nod. There really was nothing else to wait for. Peter stepped up to the elevator and hovered his finger over the call button.

"Ready?" he asked. 

"As I'll ever be." 

“Me too.” 

Peter pressed the button. And they waited. 

And waited.

And waited.

They waited for at least two full minutes, standing there watching the shiny doors with such intensity and thinking that maybe if they wished hard enough they could make it happen. 

The elevator didn’t come.

"Wha...what’s going on?” Peter asked, pushing the button again. “Why isn’t it coming??” He heard the hysteria rising in his voice and forced it back down to his stomach. This was no time to panic. Everything would be fine. It had to be fine. They were _ right there, it had to be fine! _

"What…?” Alphys whispered in disbelief. "I...I don’t understand. The elevator should be working…” There was more typing from her end, then a frustrated grunt and the sound of fists hitting a table. “Ugh! W-What gives? I don’t understand!”

“Alphys?” Harry squeaked in a voice was much higher than normal. “What’s going on? W-Why isn’t the elevator coming?”

Peter kept frantically pressing the button with his thumb every few seconds, his eyes constantly darting from the button to the doors. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. Why, when they were  _ so damn close,  _ was this happening?! 

_ After all we’ve gone through, don’t we deserve ONE freebie? Just one???  _ he thought desperately as tears beaded at the corners of his eyes. Ashamed, he wiped them away. Crying would do him no good. He had to be strong. For Harry, and for Alphys. And for himself, too. If they’d made it this far despite the challenges they’d faced, then one more tiny inconvenience wasn’t going to kill them. 

_ Everything’s going to be fine. Buck up, soldier. You’re almost there! _

Blowing a puff of air up toward his hair, Peter stepped back from the button and took a few deep breaths to center himself.  _ In, out. In, out.  _ Alright. That was better. It was time to face this little problem head-on.

“Alright,” he said, “looks like the elevator is a no-go. What’s the plan, Alphys?”

Alphys tip-tapped away at her keyboard for a few moments before responding.

“L-Let’s, um...let’s go to the left,” she said decidedly. “W-We’ll just go around. There’s another elevator at the end of the Core that’ll t-take you right to the capitol. It’ll just take a little longer, th-that’s all.”

“Ooooooh,” Harry moaned, rubbing rapid circles around his temples. All of this tension was resulting in a swiftly approaching headache. Peter went over and gave him a comforting side-hug.

“Hey, don’t give up, buddy! You heard the doc. We’ll still get there. It’s just gonna take us a few extra minutes. We can deal with that!”

“But...B-But...we were so  _ close, _ ” Harry said miserably. 

“I know,” Peter said, offering his friend a sympathetic smile. “But we’re still close! This is just a minor setback, you’ll see. C’mon, pal. We could use some more exercise, anyway!” He jogged in place briefly, causing Harry to give a weak laugh.

“O-Okay. I...guess you’re right,” he admitted. “We’ve still got Alphys leading us, so it can’t be too bad.”

“Um, r-right!” Alphys quipped. “D-Don’t worry, guys. I’ll get you through this. You’ll be there in no time.”

“Yeah! As long as we’ve got you, we’ll be a-okay,” Peter said with a grin. He raised his arm in the air and spun toward the door on the left. “Lead on, great navigator!”

Alphys nervously giggled. “O-Okay! G-Go through the left door. You should be able to go make it through here..."

Peter and Harry obligingly headed through the door to the left of the elevator, through which one of the strange, shadow-like monsters had entered the main room. As soon as they stepped through the door frame, they saw that said monster had apparently been waiting for them there -- and so was its buddy. 

"W-Watch out!" Alphys yelped, panicked voice so loud that static crackled harshly through the speaker. Peter and Harry moved as fast as they could, and just barely managed to dodge out of the way as the two monsters rushed them. As Peter tumbled forward in a half-somersault, he frantically whipped his head around to see that the monsters -- who, up close, appeared to both resemble little elf-like creatures -- had not stopped to realign themselves with their targets and simply left the room entirely.

“What the…?” he panted, swiping his arm across his forehead. He could feel his heart beating in every section of his body, like when he occasionally got migraines after a long stint of heroing. Something about the suddenness and sheer swiftness of the encounter had set his adrenaline system on overdrive. 

"Th-That was close," Alphys whimpered as Peter and Harry shakily got to their feet. "Wh...why are there so many monsters here?"

“I don’t know,” Peter murmured, “but I don’t think they’re happy to see us. L-Let’s do them a favor and get out of their hair.” The monsters still hadn’t returned after their near-collision with the boys, but neither Peter nor Harry wanted to stick around in this room any longer. 

They could hear Alphys taking several shallow breaths over the line. Clearly, she was just as shaken as they were. "Y-Yeah. I mean...it's no problem, r-r-right?” she said hopefully after a moment. “W-W-We've just got to keep heading forward!" 

“Right,” Peter agreed, already on the move with Harry close in tow. “Keep heading forward. That’s all there is to it.”

Leaving that room behind was a minor but palpable relief. Even the long, precarious-looking bridge that they came across next was welcome after the scare they’d previously had. Unfortunately, a humming, crackling force field was blocking their way onto said bridge.

“Oh, boy,” Peter murmured. Bringing the phone up to his face, he said, “Alright, Alphys, how do we do this? Any trick for opening the way here?”

The steady click-clack of her computer filled his ears. "Looks like you can't proceed until you hit the switch,” she reported. “B-But, those lasers will activate when you do.” Looking out across the bridge again, Peter and Harry could see the inactive nodes of the lasers she was referring to. According to Alphys, once the switch was pressed, those nodes would flare to life.

“Hmm.” Peter scratched at his chin. “Okay. What kind of lasers are we talking?”

"Umm...looks like they'll come in this order:  _ orange, orange, blue _ ,” said Alphys. “G-Got it? Move until the third one!" 

The spider-boy nodded. That jived with what they remembered about orange and blue lasers. Peter cracked his knuckles and rolled his neck, earning a satisfying  _ pop _ .

"Got it,” he said. “Let’s do this.” He gave a slight nod to Harry, who, though he was worrying his lip something fierce, nodded back. Moving rather stiffly, the boy turned to the switch beside him on the wall and gave it a firm push. 

As Alphys had promised, as soon as the switch was hit, the force field barring their way onto the bridge flickered once, then disappeared. Then, all along the length of the bridge, the silent nodes whirred to life. 

“Alright, let’s move!” Peter shouted. He and Harry began to cross the bridge, tensed and ready for the lasers to come sweeping toward them. And come toward them they did, the mobile nodes moving alarmingly fast across the way. However, much to their' imminent surprise, the lasers did not appear in the order Alphys had predicted. Rather than  _ orange, orange, blue _ , the lasers advancing on them came in the order of  _ blue, blue, orange _ . 

The completely flipped order was enough to throw them both completely off-guard. Peter only had time to yell, “ _ Freeze!”  _ before the first blue laser hit them. Sadly, his frantic warning hadn’t come quick enough; while Peter was just barely able to catch himself on the ball of his foot before he took his next step, Harry was already following through. The blue laser swept across him with a painful and disconcerting sizzle. 

“ _ YaaAAAAH!!” _

Eyes wide and tears blurring his vision, Harry stumbled through the other lasers and collapsed to his knees on the opposite platform. Peter, by some stroke of luck, had managed to completely avoid getting tagged, but the sight of his best friend on the ground clamped a vise around his heart.

“HARRY!”

He raced Harry’s side and knelt down next to him, that same full-body-heartbeat pulsing in every nerve. “Harry?” he asked breathlessly. Harry just made an unintelligible noise, followed by two painful-sounding hiccups. Peter bit his lip. “Buddy! Are you okay?! Harry!” he whimpered. “Oh, God…” 

In a split-second decision, Peter gently moved Harry’s arm aside to get a better look. A quick once-over told him that the laser had partially singed the bottom of Harry’s sweater, but, mercifully, none of his skin appeared to have taken visible damage. That was cause for a tight sigh of relief. Still, it must have been incredibly painful to elicit a reaction like this.

“Harry...buddy, pal, look at me,” Peter urged. “Are you good? Do you need anything?” 

After several seconds filled with shallow breaths and scattered hiccups, Harry managed to swipe away the wetness in his eyes and looked up at Peter.

“I-I’m...fine,” he croaked, wiping at his eyes a second time. “S-Sorry, I’m fine. I’m fine. I-I’m not really...I’m not bleeding and I’m not b-burned, it just…” A pathetic little whimper escaped him. “It  _ really  _ hurt.”

“It looks like it,” Peter chuckled. His voice hitched. “But I’m glad you’re okay. I’m sorry I didn’t warn you in time, Harry, I- I couldn’t process it fast enough…”

Staticky noises emanating from Peter’s pocket, where he’d stashed the phone when running to check on Harry, reminded him that Alphys was still on the line. He gasped and quickly fished it out, holding it up near Harry so he could hear her as well. 

"Oh my God,  _ oh my God!!”  _ Alphys wailed. From the sound of her voice, she was close to a breakdown. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Are you hurt?!" she asked frantically. "I...I'm so sorry, I...I gave you the wrong order. Oh my God, oh my God, you’re hurt, you’re hurt and it’s all my  _ fault _ ..." 

Harry managed a little laugh despite the lingering pain and shook his head. 

“N-No, Alphys, it’s not your fault,” he assured her, shifting so that his legs were crossed. The most intense pain had faded away, leaving only trace aftershocks. It was enough for him to get out of the half-fetal position, at least. “It’s not like you gave us the wrong order o-on purpose. Maybe those lasers change order every time.” He could still hear her hyperventilating, so he said in his most soothing voice, “Seriously, please don’t blame yourself. I’m fine. See?” He spread his arms out and moved them up and down, glancing around to check for one of Alphys’s hidden cameras. He didn’t see any, but he knew they were somewhere. It was the only way she’d have been able to see them. 

Alphys sniffled a couple of times, but her breathing slowed to a healthy rate, and there was the sound of light rustling on her end. “O-Okay...okay,” she said quietly. “B-But I’m...I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”

“Hey, come on,” Peter said, doing his best to keep his voice light. “You don’t think a couple ‘a lasers are enough to stop us now, right? We’re in it for the long haul. And we’re way tougher than anything they can throw at us.” 

“Y...Yeah,” Alphys said. “You’re r-right. Everything's going to be fine, okay? L-Let's just keep going. I think you’re...h-halfway there." 

“That’s music to my ears,” Harry grunted as he shakily got to his feet, Peter steadying him just in case. “Pete’s right. There’s no way we’re giving up now. Just keep telling us what to do, Alphys. Okay?”

“O-Okay. Y-You can count on me.”

“There was never any doubt,” Peter said with a smile. He turned toward the next room, this time keeping the phone in his hand in case Alphys needed to relay any speedy directions. Once Harry joined his side, they stepped through the doorway...and were immediately greeted with a fork in the road.

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me,” Harry whined.

"A crossroads,” Alphys murmured. “Figures.”

“Which way, Captain Alphys?” Peter asked, leaning forward to look down the left and right pathways. As far as he could tell, they looked the same.

They heard her swallow. ”Uh...uhh...tr...try heading to the right!" Alphys said after a moment’s hesitation. 

"Got it.”

But as soon as they took two steps in that direction, Alphys suddenly yelped, "W-Wait! No, I think you should h-head up!" 

Immediately they pumped the brakes. "Up?” Peter asked. “Alright! Up it is.” 

Peter and Harry retraced their minimal steps and instead turned to go up. The room at the end of this particular hall, unfortunately, turned out to be a dead end. Even more unfortunately, there was another, lone monster standing in the center of the room. And it was staring straight at them.

“Oooooooooh shit,” Harry whispered.

Peter took a big step back, but kept his eyes trained on the monster as he did so. It was very reminiscent of a suit of armor one might see in a medieval castle. Looking at their stature, they seemed to be kneeling, slightly hunched over and holding a very tall spear in their left hand. A brief image of Undyne’s imposing, fully-suited figure on top of the rocky outcropping back in Waterfall flashed through Peter’s mind. This monster, however, had long, sharp horns curling out from the sides of their head (helmet?), and was far larger than Undyne had been.

“Uh...h-hi!” Peter said, offering a forced, cheerful wave to the monster. “Um, sorry to disturb you, heh, we just- we just wandered in from the wrong path. You look like you’re very busy with something, sooo we’ll just be going now!”

The monster made a creaking noise, like the rusty hinges of an old door. Then they stood up, and they were so tall that Peter and Harry had to tilt their heads back slightly to maintain their focus on the creature’s face. They gulped. 

“ _ Right _ now,” Peter squeaked.

The boys turned about and booked it as fast as they could down the hall, arriving back at the crossroads in record time. By some miracle, the monster they’d disturbed didn’t follow after them. That was one small reprieve, at least.

"Ooooh  _ no _ ,” Alphys moaned. “Sorry, I...I...I thought that..." she stuttered. Her voice sounded so desperate that it hurt Peter’s heart. "L-Let's try the right path instead." 

"No worries," Peter said gently. "It's no big deal, really. It happens! The Core is a complex place.” He nodded to his friend. “C'mon, Harry." 

Venturing along the right path took them directly to a stretch of hallway lined with another plethora of lasers. Unlike the ones on the bridge, though, these lasers were already on. They were also completely stationary, which complicated things a bit.

"M...more lasers,” muttered Alphys. “Okay, I...I won't mess around this time. I'll just deactivate the lasers and let you through."

“That would be a massive help,” Peter sighed with a smile. “Thanks, Doc.”

The familiar  _ clickety-clack  _ of their friend’s keyboard came from the tiny phone speaker. It seemed to go on for some time.

And on...and on...and on. 

Alphys was silent, likely focusing with immense concentration, but Peter didn’t need to hear her speak to know that she was getting nervous. He could hear it in the way her finger strokes got progressively louder and harder, like she was punishing the keyboard in frustration. 

After a tension-filled two minutes, the doctor spoke again. Her tone confirmed what Peter already knew. "They're...They're not turning off," she whined. It sounded almost painful. "I can't turn them off, I… _ God... _ ” There was a whimper.

Peter and Harry shared a quick, concerned look. Turning to the phone, Peter urged, “Alphys, hey, Alphys. Hang on, calm down. We’ll- We’ll just find a way around it!” He looked across the field of laser beams, already calculating how long it would take him to somersault through and clog up the nodes. Webbing would probably hold for at least a little while, right?

But Alphys had something else in mind. “N-N-No!!” she yelped, so loud and insistent that it startled the two. “I-I-I-It's okay!” she insisted, just as forceful. “I have this under control! I'm going to turn off the p-power for that whole node. Then you can just...walk across." 

“Are you sure?” Harry asked with a slight frown. “That might be a lot of work. Maybe we could-”

Alphys was already back to typing, fingers furiously flying over the keyboard in a frenetic rhythm. At first, as the seconds stretched longer and longer, Peter was afraid that they were going to be foiled yet again. Finally, though, the power turned off with a loud  _ whirr.  _ Alphys breathed a quiet sigh of relief that was somehow still picked up by the phone. 

"O-Okay, now! Go!" 

“Woo!” Peter cheered, he and Harry slapping an impromptu high-five. After all the mishaps in the short span of time they’d been in the Core, this was a nice change in the old Parker Luck -- which seemed to apply not just to Peter himself anymore, but anyone who dared to associate with him. 

They were a quarter of the way across the section of floor when Alphys suddenly shouted, "W-WAIT! STOP!" 

Peter and Harry instantly froze. Milliseconds later, the laser nodes sputtered back to life, reigniting the powerful colored beams. As their minimal luck would have it, they were not directly in the path of any of the lasers. Instead, they were flanked by two blue ones on either side, one of which was a hair’s breadth from Harry’s chest. 

“Ooh,” Harry whimpered. It was barely audible.

“Ooh, boy, okay,” Peter murmured, closing his eyes. 

_ Thank God we weren’t just a little further up... _

He shifted his eyes downward toward the phone and asked, in his calmest voice, “Hey, Alphys? Everything okay over there? We, ah, we have a little problem.” He chuckled hoarsely. The last thing he wanted to do was stress her out any more, but he and Harry  _ were  _ in a pretty precarious situation at the moment.

"Th-The power...it's turning itself back on,” Alphys said angrily. “D-Damn it...th-this isn't supposed to…!” Her breath caught in her throat, resulting in a choked inhalation.

“Alphys…”

”N-No, I’m fine,” Alphys gasped. “I’m fine. I can f-fix this. I...I'm gonna turn it off again. When it turns off, move a little, and then STOP. The lasers are gonna flash on and off while I do this; someone’s...something must trying to override my hacking.” She exhaled. “Just do what I said. Okay? Y-You won't get hurt." 

“Flashing lasers. Move a little, stop. Gotcha,” Peter confirmed. 

Within a minute, the lasers turned off again. The moment they did, Peter and Harry took three big steps forward, then stopped and stood stock still. Seconds later, the lasers whirred on again. Again they switched off, and the boys took another three steps before stopping. The lasers turned on. The lasers turned off. The process repeated.

All was going well for a good three minutes. It was slow going, certainly, but better to be slow than to get right messed up by a laser. The fact that they were making any progress at all was a reason to celebrate.

_ This isn’t so bad,  _ Peter thought to himself with a cautious optimism.  _ If lasers and the odd monster are what mainly make up the Core, then I think we- _

Suddenly, without warning, the lasers turned back on one instant earlier than the boys had become accustomed to. Harry froze out of instinct, but Peter was just a second too late to adjust himself. The laser burned a small hole in one sleeve of his blue button-up, about the size of a penny. For a brief moment he felt it on his skin, but the pain faded away quickly.

“Yowch! Ah, damn!” Peter cursed, yanking his arm back to his side so he could study the damage done. 

“Pete!” Harry gasped. “Are you alright?!” 

"Oh my God!!” came Alphys’s horrified wail, right on the heels of Harry’s outcry. “Are you okay?! Are you- Are you hurt bad? Oh, God, I-I’m  _ sorry…! _ ” 

“‘S’okay, Alphys,” Peter said, wincing lightly as he covered up the hole with a dab of webbing. “I-It just stung a little, that’s all, heh. It’s not your fault, okay? Don’t worry about me, I’m a tough cookie.”

"I-It  _ is  _ my fault!! I’m the one h-hacking here, I-I couldn't keep the power off long enough.” Alphys whimpered. “It’s my fault you…” They heard her suck in a quick breath. “No, no, we got this,” she said. Her voice was shaky, but it had an unmistakably determined quality to it. “You’re so c-close. I know you a-a-are. It's just a little further!" 

“Yeah! That’s the spirit,” Peter encouraged. “So, we got a little banged up along the way. It’s fine! We’ve been through much worse before, I can tell you that.” He laughed a little again.

“He’s right,” Harry said. “This is nothing compared to the shit we’ve seen on the Surface. Seriously, don’t worry about it, Alphys.” 

Harry hoped that their combined support would be enough to give their friend the confidence she needed to continue guiding them. It was so hard to listen to Alphys slowly deteriorate like this, especially after all the progress she’d made along the way -- helping them with Mettaton, navigating their course from afar, opening up pathways...everything she’d done had allowed them to continue. If it wasn’t for Alphys, Harry had no doubt that they would still be stuck back in Hotland. Or maybe even dead.

Alphys sniffed. “O-Okay,” she said. “I-If you really mean that…”

“We do. Now, why don’t you turn those lasers off for us again, and we’ll book it to the finish line?” Peter said hopefully.

“R-Right. Yeah. Okay.”

The clicking of keys heralded the imminent laser deactivation, and sure enough, the beams in front and in back of them disappeared once again. This time, Peter and Harry didn’t waste energy on baby steps; they full-on sprinted to the other side of the room in under three seconds, skidding to a stop just beyond the final laser as it came alive again.

“Whew,” Harry breathed. 

"S-See? I've got everything under control,” said Alphys. From the sound of it, it was probably more for her benefit than theirs. “Everything's under control!”

“Hell yeah!” Peter exclaimed. “You totally got this. Come on, let’s check out what’s up ahead.” 

Up ahead, it turned out, was another crossroads leading off in three directions (plus the one they’d come from.) The only thing distinguishing this fork in the road from the other one was the presence of a familiar, shiny little friend resting innocuously in the center.

Peter’s eyes lit up as soon as he set his gaze on it. “Hey, a star!!” At this point, with the stars dotting the path of their entire journey, seeing one was like greeting an old friend. 

Immediately, he raced over to the twinkling bauble and placed his full hand on top of it. He eagerly wondered what the mysterious voice might say this time. Would it say anything about how close they were to the castle? Or what the king might do when they met? Did it know they were leaving? 

All they got was a few simple words: "The smell of ozone fills the air...you're filled with determination.” 

Harry sniffed a couple of times. It did smell like ozone. It wasn’t a very pleasant smell.

Peter stood back up and brushed his hand on his pants. “As cryptic as ever, huh, O Voice of the Underground?” he murmured softly with a tilt of his head. Then, he smiled. “Well, that’s okay. It was nice to hear from you anyway.” He turned his attention back to the phone in his other hand.

“Alright, Alphys,” he said grandly. “Looks like we’re at another crossroads here. What do we do?”

"Okay!" Alphys said. "Let me just check…” They heard some papers being shuffled and clicking of keys, something falling over, and then a quiet curse from Alphys. 

“Everything, uh...okay over there?” Harry asked. 

“E-Everything’s fine!!” Alphys squeaked. “Everything’s just f-fine. Okay, now you should...y-ou should… Um...you should..." Alphys’s breathing began to pick up, coming short and fast. Peter and Harry’s eyes widened in alarm. 

“Alphys, are you-”

"I don't know?” she said suddenly, voice as high as they’d ever heard it. “Th-This doesn't look like my map at all… E-everything is...n-n-no…” Alphys sounded near to the point of tears, her breath hitching on every other word. It had apparently become too much; the stress of it all had come down on her full force, and she couldn’t hold it together any longer.

“Alphys, hey, wait!” Peter said hurriedly. “H-Hold on, just hold on! We’ll do this together! We’ll-”

“I'm sorry,” Alphys sobbed, “I...I... _ I have to go. _ " Abruptly, she hung up. The dial tone droned in their ears. 

" _ Alphys! _ " the two cried in unison. 

Peter immediately dialed her number back, but no one picked up. He tried a second time, and there was still no answer. Either she was deliberately ignoring their calls, or she’d run off somewhere and not taken her phone. 

"Oh, no," Peter mumbled. "Alphys..." He stared at the phone in his hands, helplessly, hopelessly, feeling his lower lip start to quiver. Peter lowered his head. “ _ Dammit. _ ”

“Okay...okay,” Harry said quietly, when the silence and the sorrow got to be too much. “We’ll just...have to make it past this part ourselves. We can do that. Right?” He looked over to Peter, who raised his head sullenly. 

“I...I guess so. But...what about Alphys?”

“Come on, Pete,” Harry insisted. “We can do it. You’re always saying we can. We might not have Alphys with us right now, but…” He looked around, then placed his hands on his hips. “After all she’s done for us, don’t you think we owe it to her? She needs this time to rest. Once we show her we can make it on our own, that should take some of the pressure off of her. That’s what I think, anyway.” 

Peter let his friend’s words sink in. Despite the pain in his heart, what Harry had said made sense. 

_ He’s right. Alphys is so overwhelmed because she’s trying to get us through this place alive. But she’s gotten us this far, and if we have to do the last leg by ourselves, then so be it. She deserves a break.  _

Besides, Peter didn’t doubt their own abilities. If they’d made it through all of Snowdin and Waterfall with little to no guidance, then they could make it through the last part of the Core after being hand-held through the whole damn thing.

It was really the least they could do -- for Alphys, and for themselves.

“...Right,” said Peter, lifting his head up further. He stuck the phone back in his pocket. You’re right. We’ll get through this last part the old-fashioned way. We owe it ourselves, and to Alphys.” He cast a single glance down at his pocket where the phone was, truly silent for the first time since they’d entered this part of the Underground. “And after we make it, we’ll call her back and thank her for everything she’s done.”

Harry smiled. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

With a firm, brisk handshake, Peter and Harry sealed their intentions. Then, they turned toward the intersection of hallways.

“So, uh...how about we try right first?” Peter suggested with a sheepish grin. Harry nodded with an equally sheepish expression. It was the best they had; they’d just have to make do with guesses. 


	54. An Inconvenient Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry finally arrive at the very end of the Core. Unfortunately for them, someone is waiting for them just before the elevator, and he's got something to tell them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GIRL HEY IT'S ANOTHER THURSDAY UPDATE :'^) 
> 
> I can't help it, I'm just so damn excited for the Mettaton stuff and then The Chapter I've Been Waiting For asdfghjkl
> 
> Get ready!!

The maze of hallways that made up the Core ended up being far, far more elaborate than either Peter or Harry had been hoping for. With Alphys, they’d at least had  _ some  _ idea of which way to go, but despite their best efforts, it still took them quite a while to make it out of the mechanical labyrinth. 

Puzzles, twist, turns, the occasional errant monster -- Peter and Harry faced them all with perseverance and determination. Alphys may not have been with them, physically or across a phone line, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t conquer the Core. 

The bright, buzzing lights of the machines around them cast harsh shadows on their faces as they pressed forward. They didn’t talk much. All their concentration was directed toward the task at hand. But as they went on, having recently tiptoed past several monsters patrolling the identical halls, Peter allowed his thoughts to drift back over something Alphys had said when they first entered the Core. Something that confused him.

“ _ Nobody else was supposed to be here…” _

There was something about that line, something prodding at him. What did she mean, ‘ _ supposed  _ to be here’? It made sense to him that Alphys knew the layout of the Core (or, at least, used to); she was the Royal Scientist, After All. It was probably her business to know. But why had the presence of these other monsters been such a surprise? The Core must have required daily maintenance in order to continue running at proper efficiency, so logically, it followed that there would be monsters going in and out on the regular. 

Peter shook his head and made a dismissive snort. He was hyperfocusing on something that, in all likelihood, meant absolutely nothing at all. Today, as he’d recalled, was a Saturday, and if the Underground was anything like the Surface, then that meant many workers had a day off. That was probably why it had confused her. That was all. It was a very logical, simple explanation. 

_ But, then...why ARE there monsters in here? _

Peter’s stomach did an involuntary flip-flop. Something wasn’t right. It had been obvious since Alphys’s freakout that there was something odd going on here, something that even the Royal Scientist couldn’t understand. And  _ that,  _ he realized, was what was worrying him.

“Pete,” Harry gasped suddenly, and Peter was catapulted out of his thoughts and back to the Core. 

“Uh!! Yeah?”

He turned his head to look at Harry expectantly, but the other boy was simply pointing straight ahead. His jaw was slightly slack, and his pupils had swelled to great black spots. Peter followed his finger, and he, too, gained the same expression.

Because they were finally there.

While Peter had been lost in unnerving daydreams, they had come to a long hall with a dead end. This wouldn’t have been very interesting if it had been like the dozens of  _ other  _ halls with dead ends that they’d come across during the trek through the Core, but this one was unique in the fact that at the very end of it, there was a single door. And next to that door was a star. And above that door was a peculiar red, eye-looking symbol unlike anything they’d seen insofar. 

There couldn’t have been any clearer indication that they had arrived at the end of the Core.

“Holy crap,” Peter murmured. Absurd as it was, he was afraid that if he raised his voice, it might somehow shatter an illusion and reveal the door and the star to be just a facade. 

Slowly, so as not to disturb the air, Peter and Harry approached the star. Peter reached it first, and he started to bend down toward it, but then he paused and looked back at Harry. His slightly raised eyebrows held a question, and Harry’s tiny nod was the answer:  _ You should do it.  _ Peter touched the star.

“Behind the door must be the elevator to the king's castle,” the deep voice said, reverberating around the narrow hall. “You're filled with determination." 

Peter stood up, studying his hand as if the star had imparted something onto it. "This is really it...isn't it?" he asked. 

"I think so," Harry said. They both looked up at the insignia above the door again. The red circle seemed to stare down at them. Neither could tell if its gaze was benevolent or menacing.

“Do you...wanna give Alphys a call now?” Harry asked. “Or should we wait until we’re out of the Core?”

Peter bit the knuckle of his thumb in thought. “I think we should get out of here first,” he said at last. “That way there’ll be no chance of getting hung up on something else.” 

Harry nodded. That sounded like a good idea.

With a deep breath, Peter squared his shoulders and took his first step toward the open doorway. Harry followed right behind him. Though his hands shook minutely at the thought of their journey being so close to ending, he held his head up and tried to keep a straight focus. They could only guess at what lay beyond the door. The elevator, certainly, but if there was one thing they’d become accustomed to down in the Underground, it was last-minute surprises.

Just beyond the dark door was a short hallway, just as dim as the opening itself. The floor was hard and metal, and their shoes clanked against it with every step. Faintly, they could see some sort of reddish light glowing up ahead. Peter felt his heart quicken. Could that be the lights of the elevator bank? He picked up his pace.

His new, rapid footsteps took him -- and Harry right on his heels -- into a rather spacious octagonal room. What they realized far too late, however, was that the red light they’d seen was not, in fact, the LED display of an elevator gauge. What it was, rather, was a 4x5 screen of little red squares, situated right in the center of a heart-droppingly familiar metal rectangle.

"Oh, no, not  _ you _ ," Peter moaned, and the exasperation in his voice was so palpable it surprised even himself.

"Oh  _ yes _ ," Mettaton purred, raising one hand and twirling it around idly. "There you are, darlings. It seems it’s time to have our little showdown."

“No,” said Harry, taking a step back. He shook his head firmly. “No. Nope. Absolutely not. This is  _ not  _ happening, we’re  _ not _ dealing with you right now.” He could feel a bout of hiccups beginning to claw their way up his chest, and he mentally put a foot down on top of them to keep them down. 

_ Not him, not him, God, ANYONE but him. Come on, WE’RE RIGHT THERE! _

Harry felt so frustrated he could scream. But that would be loud, and jarring, and give the robot the idea that he was afraid of him. So, instead, he simply repeated, “No. We’re not doing this. We made it through your stupid little hotel, and we got through the nightmare of the Core, and now we’re going to the capitol and you are  _ not  _ stopping us.” Harry gritted his teeth and his fingers flexed at his sides. “Step. Aside.”

The boy’s forceful command did nothing but amuse Mettaton. The robot began to laugh, smug as ever, and Harry felt his anger bubble up even further.

“Oh, darling, so droll,” Mettaton drawled. “Do you really think I’m going to just ‘step aside’? After all we’ve been through together? Now, what kind of a finale would that be?”

"We've had a dozen ‘showdowns’ already,” said Peter with a defiant lift of his chin. “What makes you think this one’ll be any different? You're no match for us and Dr. Alphys." 

"Oh, but don’t you know? It's time to finally stop the 'malfunctioning' robot," Mettaton said sardonically. There was a long, pregnant pause, and the air suddenly filled with an uncomfortable sinister vibe. "... _ Not!!! _ ”

Peter and Harry jolted so viscerally that Harry was pretty sure he gave himself whiplash. When they’d steadied themselves and the room stopped spinning, they both fixed Mettaton with equally uncomprehending stares.

“Wh...Huh?” Peter mumbled. It was all he could say. 

Mettaton put his hands on his non-existent hips. “Oh, come now, darling, don’t tell me you really  _ believed  _ all that drivel about a ‘rampaging killer robot’,” he said. The condescension in his voice was as thick as his own metal frame. “Malfunction? Reprogramming? Get real!" 

Peter backed up a few inches, almost stumbling over his own sneakers. His head was spinning. This didn’t add up. Alphys had told them from the very start that Mettaton had gone rogue. Malfunctioned. Gone off his rocker. She’d reprogrammed him, and some wires had crossed in the process. That was the whole reason he’d been terrorizing them for the past several hours. Wasn’t it? 

“I don’t...understand,” Harry said haltingly. His throat constricted briefly, uncertainly. 

"This was all just a big show," Mettaton stated with great malicious satisfaction. "An  _ act _ . Alphys has been playing you two for fools the whole time. And you fell for it, hook, line, and sinker." 

Time slowed to a crawl in the octagonal room. 

Each individual beat of Peter’s heart was like a bass drum in his ears. He could feel his hands shaking very minutely, but he couldn’t make it stop. For a single moment his vision went blurry before sharply refocusing on a point beyond Mettaton’s neon screen.

_ He’s lying. _

That had to be it. There was no other explanation. 

Because if there was another explanation  _ other  _ than Mettaton being a lying, scheming junk heap, then it would mean that Alphys -- sweet, kind, stuttering Alphys -- had been duping them this entire time. And that was just inconceivable. 

“Th...That's not true," Peter said slowly. “You’re lying.”

"Lying? Hah! On the contrary;  _ I’m  _ not the one who’s been lying.” Mettaton sniffed in an exaggerated fashion, like everything else he did. “I’ve wanted to be truthful this entire time, but she insisted I play along with her little charade. Some people just don’t know when to quit, I suppose.” 

“Stop it!” Peter demanded. “Just  _ stop! _ We’re not gonna let you slander our friend like this!”

“Slander? Hardly. I’m giving you the truth at last, and you’re so blind you can’t even see it!”

“W-Why should we believe you?” Harry asked with an accusatory glare. “Y-You’ve done nothing but mess with us s-since we met you! Why would you start being honest now?” He swallowed again. “A-And besides...what reason would Alphys have to do that? What would even b-be the point?” 

“Oh, dear,” Mettaton sighed, tutting in disappointment. “You really are that naive, aren’t you?” He folded his arms now, and though there were no eyes present on his face, Peter and Harry got the feeling he was looking directly at them. “She’s obsessed with you, darlings.”

Peter shook his head rapidly. “What?? What are you talking about?”

Mettaton tilted backward on his wheel. “ _ Must  _ I spell it out for you?” he groaned. “As she watched you on the screen from her lab, Alphys grew attached to your adventures. She desperately wanted to be a part of it. So, when it became clear you were doing just fine on your own, she decided to insert herself into your story.” 

“That’s...not true.”

“Oh, but it is. She reactivated puzzles. She disabled elevators. She enlisted me to torment you! All so she could save you from dangers that  _ didn't _ exist." The obvious glee Mettaton was taking from divulging all of this was as distressing as the words themselves. The floor beneath the boys’ feet felt like it was undulating, and the pounding in Peter’s ears got louder. 

_ This isn’t real. It’s not real. None of this is real he’s lying he’s lying he’s lying  _

Peter was no stranger to betrayal. In his time as Spider-Man, he’d seen enemies turn to allies, but he’d also seen a handful of allies turn out to be enemies in disguise. It was an unfortunate but inescapable part of superhero life. After the first couple of times, he’d learned to cautiously prepare himself for the possibility in the future. 

But Alphys? The thought of being tricked by someone he’d come to love so dearly in such a short span of time, someone who’d shown them nothing but kindness and support… It was something he couldn’t even begin to process. 

It was something he couldn’t believe.

“No,” he said, but it was soft, and he hated the fact that he could hear hesitation in his voice. He hated it beyond belief. 

"Believe it, darling,” said Mettaton. “She is the root cause of all your trouble in Hotland. All so you would think she's the great person...that she's  _ not _ .” Ignoring the ghostly pale faces of the humans opposite him as they still tried to understand, he continued nonchalantly, "And now, it's time for her finest hour. At this very moment, Alphys is waiting outside the room. During our 'battle', she will interrupt. She will pretend to 'deactivate' me, 'saving' you one final time. Finally, she’ll be the heroine of your adventure. You'll regard her so highly...she'll even be able to convince you not to leave." 

Peter’s mouth went as dry and gritty as the Mojave. Almost beyond his own volition, his eyes slide as far as they could to the side. He couldn’t see the door unless he turned his head, but he didn’t dare. That would feel too much like an admission. An admission that he was even considering entertaining the horrible, awful things the robot was saying. He could see Harry beside him, though, and he could see how ashen his friend’s skin was becoming. No doubt, he was just as sick as Peter himself was.

Fighting the urge to vomit, Peter’s mind flashed back across everything they’d been through during their time in Hotland, beginning with the moment they stepped into Alphys’s lab: every broken elevator, every puzzle, every showboating scheme of Mettaton’s. 

_ No.  _

It had been so strange how every single elevator, every one that would’ve taken them closer to their destination, was completely shot..

_ No.  _

And every monster they’d encountered around those Galaga-esque puzzles had told them how startled they’d been when the mechanisms suddenly reactivated, seemingly for no reason.

_ No. _

And all those times they’d shooed away Mettaton...he’d always seemed just a  _ little  _ too aloof every time he was defeated. Like he already knew how things would turn out. Like he knew he was supposed to lose. Like...like…

“_NO!!!_” Peter howled, unleashing all his pent-up confusion at once. He dropped suddenly to his knees, too devastated to hold himself up any longer. Harry couldn’t move; he was still stuck in the same position, worried that if he moved even an inch, he’d collapse right by his friend. 

"Yes,” Mettaton continued idly as he examined the gloved fingers of his left hand. “And now, we’ve finally come to the flawless conclusion of her plan.” He gave them a snide glance. “...Or not. You see, I've had enough of this predictable charade.” Mettaton wheeled away a few paces, clasping his hands behind his back. “Now, listen. I have no desire to harm humans. Far from it, actually! My only desire is to entertain. After all, the audience deserves a good show, don't they? And what's a good show...without a plot twist?" He turned back toward them, his red screen shining like the glint in a ne’er-do-well’s eye.

At that moment, there was a loud, sharp knock on the door. 

"H-Hey!" came Alphys's frantic voice. "Wh-Wh-What's going on?! Th-Th-The door just locked itself!" 

Several red spotlights above turned on with a clunk, shining down and creating perfect scarlet circles of light around both Peter and Harry. Mettaton whipped out his microphone from God knows where, and a faint techno tune filtered in from presumably hidden speakers. 

"Sorry, folks!” Mettaton called in his grand ringmaster’s voice. “The old program's been cancelled! But we've got a finale that will drive you wild!!" 

Without any warning, the floor of the octagonal room began to shoot upwards at a dizzying speed. Peter, who was already on the ground, instinctively increased his grip on the slick metal -- thank goodness for spider stickiness. He also started screaming, because this was not something he’d been at all prepared for. 

Harry was screaming, too, and as he fell beside Peter he managed to hang on to the other boy’s arm so that he wouldn’t go spinning off the edge. Together they shrieked in bewildered terror, all the way up until the floor -- now a  _ very  _ raised platform -- ground to a jarring halt. The force of the stop jolted Peter and Harry from their fixed positions, sending them sprawling backward. Peter just barely managed to stop them both from careening off the edge, over which they could see the dark chasm of the original room below.

Harry gulped and shut his eyes tight.

“Oh, yes!!” Mettaton crowed, spinning around dramatically on his wheel as spotlights colored all hues of the rainbow began to dance around the ‘stage’. "It’s that time we’ve all been waiting for!!  _ Real _ drama!  _ Real  _ action!  _ Real  _ bloodshed! On our new show... _ Attack of the Killer Robot! _ " 


	55. Death by Glamour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final confrontation with Mettaton is at hand! Thanks to a tip from Alphys, Peter and Harry get Mettaton to reveal his 'true colors', so to speak. But can they survive their intended 'death by glamour'?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty!! This chapter's two and a half days late because of finals week, but y'know what? It's up now!! And that means next week (or this weekend, depending on how fast I can get it done) is THE CHAPTER I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!! :D
> 
> Get ready for our entry into act III of Undertale, lads! It's a-comin' fast!!

"Yes, I was the one that re-arranged the Core!" Mettaton gloated as the two boys stumbled clumsily to their feet. "I was the one that told everyone to kill you! That, however, was a short-sighted plan.” He skillfully twirled the microphone between his fingers. “You know what would be a hundred times better?  _ Killing you myself!! _ " 

Peter’s instincts had kicked into overdrive. As soon as he’d yanked himself and Harry back from the edge of the platform, he’d automatically slipped into his classic Spidey Stance: crouched, low to the ground, feet spread apart, back slightly hunched. His body often went into this sort of ‘autopilot’ when stressful situations occurred and he wasn’t completely focused. Almost as soon as he’d entered this stance, though, he remembered where he was, and he quickly pushed himself up out of the position. Fighting wasn’t the solution. They’d made it this far without engaging anyone physically, and he was damn well going to keep it that way.

However, that didn’t change the fact that they were in very real danger, and their opposition wasn’t as committed to ‘doing no harm’ as they were. 

_ So what can we-? _

His eyes shot open wide as he suddenly remembered the laser beam that Alphys had installed on their phone. 

Peter’s eyes darted down to his pocket. 

_ But...it was all fake. Wasn’t it? _

Well...it was worth a try. Right now, this was all they had. Peter’s hand flashed down to grab the phone, and the moment he grasped it, he aimed it at Mettaton and slammed the laser button so hard it cramped his thumb.

The laser bounced harmlessly off the robot’s metal body immediately upon making contact. Even though he’d half been expecting it, Peter wilted. 

“Man,” he sighed. 

Mettaton audibly scoffed. "That worthless pea-shooter won't work on me, darling. Don't you understand what acting is?!" 

“Figured it was worth a shot,” mumbled Peter as he pocketed the phone once more. Now they were well, truly, and completely on their own in their face-off with the manic show host.  _ What a comforting thought. _

Harry had been quiet for the past minute or two as his mind caught up to speed. Once he’d at least somewhat adjusted to where the situation was heading, he promptly turned to Peter and said, quite simply, “I hate this.” Peter nodded grimly.

“Yeah, uh. Me too, buddy.” He gave a heavy sigh. “Me too.” Shifting his gaze back to Mettaton, Peter folded his hands neatly in front of him. He didn’t  _ really  _ think that asking nicely for him to lower the platform and let them go would work, but hey, there was always that slim chance, right? 

“So, Mettaton!” Peter began amicably, forcing a cheerful smile. “Uh, I know you’re kind of into the whole  _ killing us _ thing right now, but I have a better idea! What would you say if I asked you to maybe, uh... _ not  _ do that? And just...let us go past you? Huh? How about that? How’s that sound?” He raised an eyebrow expectantly. The smile on his face twitched.

Their adversary made a robotic yawn, complete with lifting one hand to his screen as if it were a mouth. It was actually very insulting. "Oh, please,” he sighed, “this is just pathetic.” Mettaton began to twirl his microphone again, and conversationally he said, “Listen, darling, I've seen you fight. Both of you. Frankly, you're weak. Can’t fight back for the life of you.” 

“Hey!!” Peter huffed. 

“You know I’m right,” Mettaton replied. “And it’s time for you to accept it. If you continue forward, Asgore will undoubtedly take your souls. And with your souls, Asgore will destroy all of humanity."

“You’re wrong,” Peter growled. Maybe Mettaton was right about the fighting thing, but that was only because he and Harry  _ chose  _ not to fight. They purposely avoided conflict however they could. Toriel’s teachings remained in the forefront of their minds, and it was imperative to both of them that they not submit to violent altercations. Did that make them weak? Peter didn’t think so. What he thought of as ‘weak’ probably greatly differed from Mettaton’s definition of the word. He still believed in his heart that they could change Asgore’s mind, if only they could just  _ talk  _ to him. 

They were so close now. Mettaton was the only one left standing in their way. 

“We’ll talk to him,” Peter said in a voice calm and unwavering. “There won’t be any fight. We’re going to talk it out.” He lifted his chin. “It’s always worked for us before. We’re not gonna stop now just because you think working out your differences with people is weak.”

“Oh my  _ God, _ ” Mettaton groaned, wiping his hand across his forehead. “You’re even  _ more  _ hopeless than I thought, deary me. If you really think you can get past Asgore just like that...” He tutted. “You’d be in for quite a rude awakening, I’m afraid. It’s a good thing you won’t be getting that far.” 

That was it. The final straw. Harry couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’ve had just about  _ enough  _ of you!” he exploded, shocking Peter so greatly that he nearly toppled over. Mettaton didn’t look fazed, although he did tilt his body in a way that suggested he was mildly intrigued.

“Oh? Something bothering you, darling?”

“YOU have been nothing but a bother the entire time we’ve known you!” shouted Harry, his green eyes blazing with a righteous fury that Peter didn’t often see there. Harry pointed a shaky finger in the robot’s direction and tried to control the rapid rising and falling of his chest. “E-Ever since you busted out of Alphys’s wall, all you’ve done i-is screw with us, and we haven’t done a single  _ thing  _ to you!” He swallowed quickly. “You think we can’t make it? If that’s true, it’s because  _ you’ve  _ done everything in your power to stop us!” Harry lowered his arm to his side as he continued to stare down Mettaton. All of the building frustration within him had come to a head, and now that it’d come bursting forth, he felt strangely...numb. The anger was still there, residually, but now the full brunt of the situation finally hit him: they might die on this stage. They were who-knows-how-close to achieving what they’d been striving for this whole journey, and Mettaton might take it all away. 

Harry noticed belatedly that he’d made a whimper that sounded somewhat like air leaking from a deflating balloon. Luckily, Mettaton hadn’t noticed (or maybe he just didn’t care). The robot was actually quiet for a good few moments after Harry’s outburst, and it  _ almost  _ looked like he was genuinely considering what had been said...but soon enough he was back to his usual posturing self, flipping his hand dismissively.

“Alright, alright, I can understand why you’re angry. Despite my  _ incredible  _ talent and infectious charm, I do admit I was purposely trying to get your goat. I suppose I can’t blame you for that. But you must understand that I only did it for the greater good!”

“The greater good?” Peter scoffed. “What are you on about?? What ‘greater good’ involves murdering people?!”

“Listen to me!” Mettaton insisted. “With the two of your souls, Asgore will finally have everything he needs to storm the Surface. He’ll bring unimaginable death and panic to humanity. It will be a disaster. But,” he continued, “if  _ I  _ get your souls, I can stop Asgore's plan! I can SAVE humanity from destruction!! Aren’t things better off for everyone if you die here, rather than in the foyer of the castle?"

“First of all, like I told you, we’re NOT going to die,” Peter stated. “Second of all, why are you so confident that  _ you  _ can stop Asgore? Huh? What makes you so special?” The spider-boy crossed his arms and frowned. He’d known Mettaton thought highly of himself, but to think he could single-handedly save humanity...geesh.

“Oh, that’s simple!” Mettaton said. “If I have your souls, Asgore won’t have them! And he won’t have enough to cross the Barrier! Get the picture?” He giggled and turned his screen toward the ceiling, letting his arms dangle languidly by his sides for a moment as he began to fantasize. “Then, using your souls,  _ I'll  _ cross through the Barrier...and become the star I've always dreamed of being! Hundreds, thousands...no!  _ Millions _ of humans will watch me!" He spun around in a tight, rapid circle and spread his arms wide, as if welcoming the cheers of a raucous crowd. There was a mad glint in his LED squares. "Glitz! Glamour! I'll finally have it all! So what if a few people have to die?  _ That's show business, baby! _ "

Peter and Harry could only stare with mouths agape as he prattled on about his awful, blood-dusted dreams of stardom. 

_ Well, I guess it’s true what they say,  _ Peter thought grimly.  _ It really is a cutthroat business. _ Mettaton would fit right in in Hollywood. Of course, that was assuming he actually managed to kill them and take their souls, which Peter was not about to let happen.

"This is crazy!" cried Peter, shaking his head in disbelief. "You wanna kill us just so you can be a famous idol? Come on, man! That’s, like...the least valid reason to kill someone! Just leave us alone!" 

While Peter berated Mettaton for his extremely flawed reasoning, Harry became distracted by the continual pounding from down below. It appeared that Alphys was still at it, as the noise, though growing somewhat fainter, was still audible. Harry’s stomach soured. Even if she was able to get in, what would happen then? She may have instigated this whole mess, but Mettaton had truly gone rogue, now. How would she be able to stop him? 

Then, suddenly, the pounding on the door stopped. Harry wondered with a sinking feeling if she’d finally given up. Maybe she’d decided that saving the two humans she’d semi-manipulated wasn’t worth it in the long run. But then Peter’s phone rang, jarring the spider-boy out of his rant and causing Harry to spin around with wide eyes. 

“Ah!! Wha-?” Peter snatched the phone up out of his pocket and hit ‘answer’ with a trembling finger, holding his breath unconsciously. They hadn’t spoken to Alphys since...well, since they’d learned the unfortunate truth. He was somewhat afraid of what she might say. Or, rather, what  _ he  _ might say. Peter couldn’t bring himself to hate Alphys -- not after all they’d been through together -- but he was still incredibly hurt. He was worried he might get emotional, and that wouldn’t be appropriate considering the current situation.

_ There’ll be time for serious talks later. Right now, just listen. _

He nodded to himself.

As soon as Alphys picked up, she began to rapidly spew words through the line. “Hey...u...uh...I can't see what's going on in there, but...d-d-don't give up, okay?! Th...there's one last way to beat Mettaton!" she exclaimed. Peter tried to ask what she meant, but she forged on ahead before he could. "It's...um...it's… This is a work in-progress, so don't judge it too hard...but, you know how Mettaton always faces f-forward? That's because there's a switch on his backside," she said. "S-S-So if y-y-you c-can turn him around...um...and, umm...press th-the switch...he'll be...um...he'll be…” She seemed to be searching for the right word. “Vulnerable." 

Peter blinked.  _ Vulnerable?  _ What did that mean? Was the switch going to shut him off? 

“Uh, what exactly do you mean by-” he began, but Alphys was already signing off.

"U-Um, well, gotta go!" she quipped. “G-Good luck! I know you can do it!” And with that, the line went dead. Peter and Harry looked at one another. 

“ _ Well? _ ” Harry mouthed. He knew Mettaton had probably heard all of that, but he still didn’t want to be so blatant. “ _ Do we? _ ” 

Peter gave him a helpless shrug back. “ _ What else can we do? _ ” he mouthed back. Harry nodded slightly. Peter had a point. Alphys had made Mettaton; it made sense that she would know how to truly stop him. 

For the briefest of moments, Peter considered that this was another gaff. Another lie made to paint things in a different light.  _ But...no.  _ He drove that thought away as quickly as it had come. Yes, he was hurt, but he didn’t believe Alphys had ever wished them real harm. If she said this was the way, then he believed her. No matter what.

But there was still the little issue of actually getting the robot to turn around. How would one accomplish such a feat? He racked his brain as fast as he could, and though he tried to ignore the one absurd thought that kept popping to the forefront, he eventually accepted that it was probably their best shot, no matter how trite it sounded. 

_ Alright, let’s hope this works. _

Taking a deep breath, Peter cupped his hands around his mouth and called, “Hey, uh...Mettaton!"

Mettaton looked up from where he was filing his fingernails through his gloves. He’d apparently gotten bored waiting for them to finish their phone call. "Hmm?" 

"There's a...a mirror behind you, you know!" He winced automatically, afraid that playing to Mettaton’s vanity would be  _ too  _ obvious. But, no; Mettaton fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

"Oh??? A mirror??” he gasped, immediately straightening up. “Right, I have to look perfect for our grand finale!" For the first time, Mettaton turned around entirely, leaving his other side open to scrutiny. Just as Alphys had said, there was an obnoxiously large switch on his back. 

“Damn,” Peter murmured. He glanced back at Harry, who gestured with his hands to go and flip it. The boy grimaced, but he nodded. He was probably the best suited to do it, anyway. He began to creep up behind Mettaton as he continued to search for the mirror, staying low to the ground and moving with the quiet of a cat (or a spider). 

"Hmm...I don't see it...where is it?" Mettaton asked, sounding puzzled. 

Peter was within two feet of him now, looking up at the large, shiny switch and holding his breath so hard it was making him lightheaded.

“This is ridiculous, I don’t understand how a mirror could just disappear,” Mettaton mumbled, and he moved his body ever so slightly in a way that indicated he was about to turn back around. Peter saw this minute movement and squeezed his eyes shut. It was now or never. Without any more hesitation, Peter sprang up from his crouched position and flicked his wrist, flipping the switch to its upright position. He then immediately backflipped out of range and back to Harry’s side. Harry steadied him with a hand on his shoulder, and that was when Peter realized he’d been breathing pretty hard. He shook his head in exasperation. Why was this robot getting to him _now?_ Maybe it was just the finality of it all. 

As soon as Peter’s finger had grazed the switch on his back, Mettaton froze in place. He was still standing like that when Peter and Harry looked back over with hopeful eyes to see Peter’s handiwork. Several seconds passed, and Mettaton said nothing. They wondered if perhaps they’d instantly turned him off. The idea was at once both exciting and anticlimactic. Then again, anticlimactic was kind of what they were hoping for.

Just when Peter was starting to think that maybe that would be  _ too  _ easy a solution, Mettaton spoke again in a low, deadpan tone. "Did you. Just flip. My  _ switch? _ " 

The boys were silent. Their eyes darted back and forth between each other and the immobile robot, although he wasn’t immobile for much longer -- without warning, Mettaton suddenly plunged into what could only be described as a ‘major freak out’: his arms shot out to the sides and began to flail up and down in a pinwheel motion; his colored squares flashed frantically,  _ redyellowredyellowredyellow _ ; steam billowed from the seams in his body; he started to scream, and his voice was distorted, rising and dropping in pitch sporadically.

“Holy shit,” Harry said, shielding his eyes from the near seizure-inducing blinking with his hand. “W-What the hell’s happening?!”

“I don’t know!” Peter yelped. “Alphys didn’t tell me what the switch would do!” He watched Mettaton with increasing unease, and he wondered if Alphys would implement a kill switch in her own creation. That didn’t sound like her, but then again, maybe they didn’t know as much about her as they’d thought...

There was a sudden, painfully bright flash that enveloped Mettaton entirely. Peter and Harry had to close their eyes and turn their heads to avoid getting blinded. Their eyes remained closed a few seconds after the brightness subsided, but through the dancing spots of color behind their eyelids, they heard a low, sensual voice speak out in clear delight.

"Oooooh,  _ yeeESSSS _ ." 

_ What in the f- _

Peter cracked one eye part way open. 

Standing before the boys, in the spot where Mettaton had once been, was a metallic man. His shiny black hair swooped down to cover part of his face on the left side, looking far softer than hair made of metal should. Parts of his body were colored pink, including his pointy-toed knee high boots, and emblazoned on the middle of his tiny stomach was a large, rosy heart. The smile on his face was coy and absolutely devious.

"Ooh myy," the metal man crooned. "If you flipped my switch, that can only mean one thing. You're desperate for the premiere of my new body. How rude..." 

Peter and Harry’s eyes popped the rest of the way open and grew so large that they seemed to take up half their faces. 

“Wait,” Peter said before he could stop himself. He didn’t even think. This was all just too much. “Wait. Hold on. Did you...are you…” His mouth dropped open in disbelief. The man smirked.

“Am I what, darling?”

Well, that confirmed it. The voice, the mention of the switch, the usual catchphrase… This man was Mettaton. 

_ Holy shit oh my God holy sHIT!!! _

Peter swallowed. His mouth had gone completely dry. In stark contrast, his palms had begun to sweat profusely, and he hurriedly wiped them off on his pants. 

What was  _ happening _ ? Why all the weird mouth and hand things? Why was his heart suddenly beating out of whack? It literally didn’t make any sense. Sure, he was still nervous, and he’d been shocked by the major transformation, but that still didn’t explain why-

And then a tiny, embarrassed little thought bubbled up to the surface of his brain.

_ Oh, no, he’s hot. _

Peter’s face turned red as a beet. In all his life, after everything he’d experienced, after all the mistakes he’d made...this was perhaps the thing he was most ashamed of. Okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but finding the person who’d antagonized them for the better part of three hours attractive was just... _ ugh.  _ Curse Mettaton for suddenly being extremely pretty!!

A quick glance at Harry and his shining brow and twitching fingers told Peter that he wasn’t alone in his sudden, startling realization. That made him feel a bit better.

_ At least I’m not the only one who thought it. Although, I may have to question our taste in men after this. _

If Mettaton had noticed their odd reactions, he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he chuckled and said, “I didn’t know you were that interested in my future plans!~ Lucky for you, I've been aching to show this off for a long time. So...as thanks, I'll give you a handsome reward.” His smirk grew into a pearly-toothed grin. “I'll make your last living moments... _ ABSOLUTELY beautiful! _ " 

Peter and Harry were immediately snapped from their dazed states, which both were silently grateful for. This was no time to be ogling someone who was about to kill them.

“Uh, wait!” Peter exclaimed. “D-Don’t you wanna spare us? ‘Cause we helped you with your- your new form and all? Wouldn’t that be fair?” 

Mettaton just laughed. He snapped his fingers, and a chart entitled 'ratings' appeared on the wall next to him, at the moment reading around 4,000. Then he raised both hands in the air and spread his feet apart, declaring, "Lights! Camera!  _ Action! _ " 

“That can’t be good,” Harry muttered.

It wasn’t. For the first time, Mettaton attacked the boys directly, using his long legs to propel himself forward, then sweeping low to try and get their feet out from under them. 

“Jump!!” Peter shouted.

They leaped over his metallic leg just as it was about to connect with their ankles, causing Mettaton’s momentum to send him skidding off to the side. He didn’t stay down for long, though; he quickly popped back to his feet and struck a dramatic pose, a picture-perfect pout on his face. The sound of canned applause echoed throughout the area from another unseen speaker.

While Peter caught his breath, he happened to catch the ratings chart out the corner of his eye. He was somewhat surprised to see that they’d increased from 4,000 to 4,300. A small increase, to be sure, but it had unmistakably gone up. It could have been just a coincidence, but…

_ Hmm. _

Peter frowned as he tried to dig up a half-buried recollection from his memory. Back when they were walking through Hotland, they’d come across some kids talking about Mettaton’s shows. What had they said…?

" _ My favorite Mettaton Moment?”  _ he remembered the first one quipping.  _ “Right when everything looks the baddest, he poses dramatically. Like when he's on a cooking show and the eggs don't turn out right." _

Their friend had nodded eagerly.  _ "My fave Mettaton Moment is when he beats up the heel-turning villains! Even if it's during what's supposed to be a quiz show,”  _ they’d supplied. 

If Peter had seen correctly, the ratings had gone up as soon as Mettaton, having missed his attack, posed in defiance. Following that train of thought, it seemed that the ratings would continue to rise the more interesting, exciting things happened on the stage.

_ Okay. But what does that mean for us?  _ Peter thought in slight frustration. That was the million dollar question. He didn’t have an answer now, but he made a mental note to keep an eye on the ratings from now on. Perhaps they’d be useful later.

"Drama! Romance! Bloodshed!" Mettaton cried, snapping Peter’s attention back to him. “These are the things I bring to the excitement-starved masses!! Think you can keep up with me? I’d guess again, darlings!”

With a light, self-assured laugh, the lithe robot came spinning back toward them on one foot, en pointe, which even Harry had to admit was impressive. It seemed a lot less impressive, however, when the foot that stuck straight out behind him nearly took the boy’s head clean off. Luckily for Harry, Peter was already grabbing his arm and bounding away before the sharp pink stiletto could make contact.

“Oh, come on, Mettaton,” Peter shot back as he slid to a stop. “Your new form doesn’t change a thing. You’re still no match for us!”

“I'm the cool idol everyone craves," Mettaton boasted. “You’re just scrawny little human nobodies! It’s clear who the real winner is.” 

“You haven’t hit us once!” Harry scoffed. “For a guy who can’t land a swing, you sure talk a big game.”

“Ooh, I'm just warming up!" Mettaton cackled. "Tell me, boys; how are you on the dance floor?" He snapped his fingers, and a glittering, ritzy disco ball descended from the ceiling. That was where the similarities with a  _ normal  _ disco ball ended, though, because as soon as it lowered fully, some of the little shiny bits started to glow blue and orange. Peter and Harry figured out what was going to happen just seconds before it came to pass. With moments to spare, they dove out of the way as about fifteen lasers, alternating blue and orange, shot out from the ball and seared the place where they’d been standing. 

“Gahh!! Killer disco balls? Really?!” Harry cried. 

“What’s the matter? Don’t like disco?” Mettaton taunted, bringing the back of his hand up beneath his own chin innocently and batting his long eyelashes. It was still weird as hell to see him like this after they’d spent so long thinking of him as just an annoying gray rectangle. And it certainly didn’t help that he was hot, now. 

Peter geared himself up to fire back a properly witty retort, but the errant blast of an orange laser suddenly singed his arm, and the only sound that came out of his mouth was a painful yelp.

“Ow ow  _ ow!”  _

As he gritted his teeth and tried not to whimper, his eyes flew once again to the ratings chart. The numbers were now in the low 7,000s, climbing steadily with every passing second. If his theory held true, then the thing that had caused this second spike was probably the fact that he’d gotten hurt. Peter huffed.

_ Great. Glad to know my pain is getting him viewership. _

The slight throbbing in his arm brought his eyes back to his recent injury. The wound wasn’t very deep, but that didn’t mean shit when it came to pain. Grimacing and biting back a few more choice words, he quickly wrapped it up in web, then turned his attention to the offending disco ball. He narrowed his eyes.  _ The ball had to go. _

“For your information,” Peter began belatedly, in response to Mettaton’s smug query. He paused and crouched down low; then, his legs acting as a turbo-powered springboard, he leapt into the air and delivered a swift kick that shattered the disco ball into a thousand tiny, glittery pieces. Dropping gracefully back to the ground, Peter stood up and dusted his hands off. Firing a smirk of his own at the now-dumbfounded robot, he finished, “Disco isn’t really my thing!”

Harry couldn’t stop himself from whooping in sheer delight. 

“YEAH, PETE! SHOW ‘IM WHO’S BOSS!”

Mettaton forced his gaping mouth to snap shut, and he narrowed his eyes dangerously at the boys. His long, slender fingers curled and uncurled reflexively.

“Well!” he huffed. “Hasn’t anyone ever taught you to respect the tastes of others?” He didn’t even give them the chance to answer. “What am I saying? Clearly no one has, so I suppose  _ I’ll _ have to be the one to do it!”

Once again, Mettaton began to spin across the stage, this time keeping both heels on the ground. His arms mimicked whirring blades as they rotated around his body, creating a slight wind as he got closer to Peter and Harry.

“Alright,” Peter said, his voice low as he kept his eyes on Mettaton. “When I say  _ go, _ jump to the left.”

Harry nodded and gulped quietly.

Peter held his breath, counting down the seconds as Mettaton spun closer and closer.  _ Five...four...three...two...one… _

“ _ Go!” _

Harry jumped as far as he could to the left, practically throwing himself out of the way of the deadly spinning hands. Peter, meanwhile, leaped to the right -- a far easier feat for him than for Harry.

Mettaton tried to stop himself as soon as the boys split, but once again, the sheer force of his momentum continued to carry him forward despite his sudden cries of “No, no, no,  _ no _ !!” He just barely managed to stop himself before he went careening over the side of the platform, teething precariously on the edge in his high-heeled boots, arms windmilling in desperation. After a tense few seconds, he shuffled himself back from the edge of the stage, running his hands through his shiny metal hair and blowing a harsh breath of air through his teeth.

“ _ Oooooooh _ , you,” he growled. Peter and Harry gave him twin taunting smirks from the opposite side of the platform. 

“Ready to give up?” Peter called. 

“Not by a long shot,” Mettaton stated. “In fact, I-” A high-pitched  _ ding!  _ resonated throughout the room, and the robot suddenly perked up. “Oh!” he squealed. “Well, isn’t that fun? It’s time for the essay portion of our show!!”

The boys blinked.

“The  _ what?”  _

Two screens balanced on podiums rose from the floor directly in front of Peter and Harry, each showing a blank white space and a keyboard at the bottom. 

“The essay portion!” Mettaton repeated cheerfully. “Please write an essay at least thirty words long, discussing - in detail - your  _ favorite  _ thing about me!” More canned applause filled the air as Mettaton posed again, beaming. 

“Oh,” Harry laughed incredulously, “you have  _ got  _ to be kidding me.”

“Yeaaaah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen,” Peter agreed.

“Oh, come now, don’t be shy!” Mettaton cooed. “I want to hear  _ everything  _ you adore about me. How great am I?” 

Harry smirked. “Great? The only thing  _ great  _ about you is how you’re a great big d-”

“You know what? Forget it!” Mettaton exclaimed hurriedly, and the screens shot back down into the floor. “I already know I’m amazing.” He shot Harry an undisguised glare. Harry grinned back at him. After all, it was no small feat to rattle the ‘great’ Mettaton. 

“I think I’ve had about enough of this,” Mettaton remarked, narrowing his eyes. “Time to give the audience a REAL show!”

Moving so fast that it actually startled the two, Mettaton launched himself almost horizontally toward them, his arms outstretched and fingers curved like claws. Had Peter been an ordinary teenage boy, there would have been no way he would have been able to get himself out of the way in time, let alone both himself and Harry. It was a good thing, then, that Peter was  _ not  _ an ordinary teenage boy. He waited until Mettaton was nearly on top of them, and then he tackled Harry off to the side, leaving the robot to crash down on the floor in a heap of pink and silver. The crunching sound he made caused both boys to wince despite the circumstances.

“That’s gotta hurt,” Peter mumbled. 

Groaning, Mettaton staggered to his feet. He spun around to face Peter and Harry again and took one shaky step forward...

And then both of his arms fell off.

“Whoa!” Harry exclaimed, unable to suppress his shock. “Dude, your arms!” It seemed that Mettaton’s last impact with the cold, unforgiving floor had loosened a few screws, or something of the like. 

Mettaton looked down at himself, and though his lip quirked noticeably, he shook his head in dismissal. "A-Arms?” he scoffed. “Who needs arms with legs like these?” He did an admittedly impressive high-kick. It was an odd sight, to say the least. “I'm still going to win!" 

Lifting his chin high, Mettaton did a box-step and a pas de bourree, and from the ceiling came a sudden plethora of bombs. Peter’s spider sense alerted him to the hail of weapons with a second to spare, prompting him to execute a barrel roll out of the way with Harry once again in tow. Harry himself was a bit tired of getting jostled and tossed around, but it was honestly preferable to getting stabbed or blown up or whatever, so he didn’t complain. 

The bombs exploded upon impact with the stage, releasing large bursts of colorful energy that zigzagged in every which way. Thanks to Peter’s quick reflexes, only the very tail ends of several energy bursts reached him and Harry, resulting in mild shocks but not much else. It still stung, though. 

“If my hair is on end,” Harry mumbled as he shook his hands out, “don’t tell me.” 

Peter looked at his friend and saw that while there were two or three strands sticking out at odd intervals, his hair was still generally in place. He gave Harry a thumbs-up.

“I think you’re good.”

“Thanks.”

When they turned back to regard Mettaton, they could see that he was looking much worse for wear. His stylish hair was somewhat unkempt now, and the confidence he usually radiated like the sun’s rays was dimming more and more. Robots weren’t supposed to sweat, but there was a slick sheen of wetness all over his cheeks. 

Peter hardly dared to believe it. Could it be? Was the hard-headed, fabulous Mettaton actually  _ shaken _ ? 

"L-Lights...camera...oh,  _ enough _ of this!” Mettaton cried suddenly in exasperation. He stared down Peter and Harry with eyes dark and pleading. It was the most vulnerable they’d ever seen him. It appeared that his façade of perfection had finally crumbled away. “Do you really want humanity to perish?!” he shouted desperately. “Or…” He paused, continuing to gaze across the way. His breathing was labored.

The more Mettaton stared at them, the more his expression twisted and morphed. A thin veil of understanding seemed to come over him, and the look in his eyes shifted, becoming more inquisitive. “...Do you just believe in yourselves that much?"

Dropping the confident smugness that had built up inside as the altercation progressed, Peter gave Mettaton the most serious look he could muster. “Of course we believe,” he said softly, but loud enough to carry across to their adversary. “We wouldn’t have gotten this far if we didn’t.”

Harry nodded beside him. 

“No matter what you think,” he added, “we’re not going down that easily. And no matter what you say, you can’t crush our determination.” Harry blinked a bit afterward. He hadn’t exactly planned out what he’d wanted to say just then, and ‘determination’ wasn’t a word that often came to mind. But after hearing the strange, deep voice of the Underground repeat it so many times, it had just felt like the right word to use. And the more he thought about it, the more it fit comfortably into his mind and mouth:  _ determination.  _

That was what it was, wasn’t it? It was determination that had let them get to this point. Belief in themselves, belief from their friends, and determination not to give up. Harry smiled lightly to himself. Now, when they were just about to leave, he finally understood what the voice was saying. 

Mettaton considered their words for a moment. They could see in his face that he was genuinely mulling it over, and both held their breath. This could be it; the turning point. They’d gotten Papyrus to be their friend, they’d convinced Undyne to give up the chase...could they convince Mettaton to shut down his act? 

Then Mettaton laughed. "How inspiring!” he lauded, and he probably would’ve done one of those mocking slow-claps if he’d still had his arms. “Well, darlings! While I admire your gumption...it's either me or you! But I think we all already know who's going to win.” 

Peter felt himself wilt in acute, sharp disappointment.

“Mettaton,” he pleaded. “Please…”

“ _ Witness the true power of humanity's star! _ " 

Mettaton knelt down, his eyes laser-focused on the two humans, and then he launched himself toward them in a tight cannonball formation, barreling across the distance between them like an airborne bowling ball. Not keen on playing the pins, Peter and Harry executed one of the maneuvers they’d perfected earlier -- as soon as he got close enough, they leapt to opposite sides. Once again, Mettaton slammed into the floor with a sickening crash that shook the very stage itself.

“Does this guy ever learn?” Harry muttered in disbelief. “He can’t seriously have thought that was gonna be a good idea.” Peter just shook his head, staring at Mettaton’s crumpled form in slight sympathy. 

He couldn’t help but feel bad for the guy. Mettaton had been the cause for a lot of their grief, but...he didn’t really believe he was a bad person. Not completely, at least. Misguided? Yeah. Disillusioned, sure. But evil? Peter didn’t think so. He was just an eccentric personality who’d taken his considerable power way too far in the name of his dreams and the dreams of those around him. 

That was the case with a lot of the unfriendlier monsters they’d met; they were angry, tired, and willing to do anything to end the suffering of their people. And as much as it was  _ not  _ cool or okay for him or anyone to try and murder them, no matter the cause, he just couldn’t bring himself to hate Mettaton. He and Harry had become fed up with him and his antics, certainly, but in the back of Peter’s mind, he still secretly hoped that perhaps they’d be able to talk some real sense into him. Maybe even befriend him, like with Papyrus. 

It was probably a stretch, but anything was possible.

Taking a deep breath, he began to approach the fallen monster, reaching his hand out in a gesture of peace. “Hey, Mettaton,” he began. “Listen. I think we-”

However, just like last time, Mettaton didn’t stay down for long. Before Peter could finish what he wanted to say, the robot was already jumping to his feet. Unfortunately for him, just after getting back up, his legs went the way of his arms -- meaning, of course, that they detached from his body and clattered to the floor, followed soon after by Mettaton’s limbless torso.

“Oh my God!” Harry yelped, jumping a good foot back. “Holy shit! Again?!”

“Oh, man,” Peter said with a wince. The robot really couldn’t catch a break. He looked so pathetic, sitting stationary on the ground with his long, sculpted legs lying beside him. He was a far cry from the monster they’d first met back in Alphys’s lab. Now, he just looked...sad.

“No,” Mettaton breathed, shaking his head rapidly. He couldn’t accept a loss. “ _ No!  _ This  _ CANNOT _ be how it-!” All of a sudden, his head snapped to attention. His eyes, which had been staring glassily to the left of Peter’s head as he delivered his desperate monologue, were instantly filled with a bright light. His metallic lips curled into the widest smile imaginable. Peter and Harry were baffled. What could he possibly have to smile about at a time like this? 

They didn’t have to wait long to find out, as Mettaton broke into a rapturous cheer.

"OOOH!!!” he cried in jubilation. “LOOK AT THESE _ RATINGS!! _ ” 

Peter and Harry shared a wide-eyed look.

_ The ratings! _

They whirled around to see that the ratings had literally gone beyond the chart, the white line representing viewership rocketing off into some unseen space. The number at the bottom read 10,000. 

"THIS IS THE MOST VIEWERS I'VE EVER HAD!!” Mettaton squealed, shimmying in place as much as his limited movement would allow. “We've reached the viewer call-in milestone! One lucky viewer will have the chance to talk to me...before I leave the Underground forever!!”

Another shared look, this one incredulous.

_ Uh...he does know he’s losing, right? _

Apparently he didn’t, because he was still rocking back and forth and giggling to himself. A heart-shaped phone rose up from the stage beside him and began to ring. "Let's see who calls in first!" Mettaton said excitedly. “Ooh, I can hardly wait!” 

The phone rang several times, and despite having no arms, Mettaton managed to pick it up. "Hello? Who's speaking? You're on TV!” he said, once again slipping easily into his talkshow host voice. “What do you have to say on this, our last show??" 

To literally everyone’s surprise, the voice of Napstablook came hesitantly through the phone. 

"Oh....hi...Mettaton,” they said quietly. Peter and Harry wore similar gaping expressions. They hadn’t expected anyone they knew to be one of Mettaton’s callers, let alone someone as shy and anxious as Napstablook. Even Mettaton looked caught off guard; his eyes had widened to an impossible degree, and he appeared frozen in shock as Napstablook continued to speak. “I really liked watching your show...my life is pretty boring...but...seeing you on the screen....brought excitement to my life...vicariously.” They paused. “I can't tell, but...I guess this is the last episode...? I'll miss you...Mettaton…” Another long pause. Mettaton still hadn’t said a word. He was just staring at the phone, almost transfixed. Napstablook finally spoke up again, and they somehow sounded even more contrite. “Oh...I didn't mean to talk so long...oh....sorry. I’ll hang up..." 

Mettaton's face suddenly contorted in a panic. He inclined his head frantically toward the phone, yelling, "NO, WAIT! WAIT, BL…!” But it was too late. Only the dial tone remained. Quietly, almost to himself, Mettaton murmured, “They already hung up..." 

He looked down. It was hard to see, but both boys could tell that his lower lip was actually quivering. 

_ What’s that about?  _ wondered Peter as he tilted his head. Why had Napstablook’s call gotten him so shaken up? To their knowledge, there was no connection between the two monsters. Neither Napstablook nor Mettaton had mentioned the other when they were around. It didn’t make sense...unless there was something they were unaware of, which was a good possibility. 

The only question was, what was that connection? And why had it affected him so deeply? There was very little that could shake Mettaton, as they’d seen over the course of their altercation, so it must have been something very personal.

Peter almost had half a mind to ask, but before he got the chance, Mettaton shook his head quickly and put on a forced smile. "Well..that’s alright! We'll take another caller!" 

The phone rang again, and this time a different, unknown voice spoke. "Mettaton, your show made us so happy! We’re really going to miss you.”

“Oh, my,” Mettaton said, blinking a couple of times very fast. “I...I appreciate your sentiment very much.”

The phone suddenly rang again, and another monster got on the line.

"Mettaton, I don't know what I'll watch without you," said the new voice. “You made every day more bearable.”

Before Mettaton could even muster a reply, the phone line exploded. Dozens upon dozens of different monsters began calling in, their voices overlapping and creating one loud, heartfelt cacophony of love for their favorite dancing robot.

"Mettaton, there's a Mettaton-shaped hole in my Mettaton-shaped heart!" 

“I’ll miss you, Mettaton!”

“Please don’t go! We love you!”

“What are we going to do without Mettaton??”

Mettaton was silent as he took in the flood of affection he was receiving. Peter and Harry, too, were quiet, studying his face with hopeful hearts. They could see a change in him as clear as day. His gaze was so full of emotion they thought he might start to cry.

Instead, Mettaton took one quiet, deep breath. He closed his eyes. "Ah...I...I see," he said finally, once the calls had finally begun to peter out. "I finally understand. I can’t believe it took me all this time. Everyone...thank you...so much." 

He looked up at Peter and Harry from his position on the floor. They tensed in anticipation.

"Darlings,” he began slowly, “I’ve been doing some thinking.” 

“Yeah?” Peter asked hopefully, the smallest smile coming over his face.

“Indeed. Seeing how much support I received today, I realized that perhaps...well, perhaps it might be better if I...stay here for a while." He smiled sadly and chuckled a bit. "Humans already have stars and idols, but monsters...they only have me," he continued. "If I left...the Underground would lose its spark. I'd leave an aching void that can never be filled. So...I think I'll have to delay my big Surface debut." 

“Mettaton,” Peter and Harry breathed in unison, the tiny smiles growing until they took up half their faces. Harry felt the uncomfortable ache in his stomach finally dissipate, and he gave a relieved sigh as his tense muscles metaphorically collapsed in exhaustion. Finally. Finally, the menace of Mettaton was no more. And in his place...well...maybe not yet a friend, but someone who understood them. Someone who could see the importance of real, true affection.

"I am afraid that I may have been rather hasty,” Mettaton admitted. “Besides, you've proven to be very strong. Perhaps...even strong enough to get past Asgore. I'm sure you'll be able to protect humanity." 

“Mettaton,” Peter said again, walking closer until he could bend down to get level with the robot’s torso. “Thank you. We won’t let you down. You’ll see.” He offered a hand, then remembered Mettaton currently didn’t have any hands and quickly placed his palm on the robot’s shoulder instead. “We’re not gonna forget about monsters, either. We’ll come back for all of you. I promise.”

Mettaton chuckled again, and his voice sounded raspier this time. “I would...like that,” he said haltingly. Seeing Peter’s worried expression, he added, “Heh...it's all for the best, anyway. The truth is, this form's energy consumption is...inefficient.” 

“Insufficient?” Harry asked, coming to stand closer to Peter and Mettaton. His eyebrow was quirked in genuine concern (which was probably very ironic, but at that moment he didn’t care to notice). “What do you mean, ‘insufficient’? Are you...okay?” 

“In a few moments, I'll run out of battery power,” Mettaton clarified. His voice was glitchy and distorted, skipping every few words. “And, well...I'll be alright.” He gave them both a sincere smile. “Don’t worry about me. Knock 'em dead, darlings.” With great effort, he turned his head to face the back of the room, where they presumed one of his many cameras was hidden. “And, everyone...thank you. You've been a  _ great _ audience!" 

“Mettaton, wait-” Peter said desperately, but it was no use. The robot managed one last wink, and then, with a final glitchy, staticky noise, his eyes went white and his eyelids closed. For the first time, Mettaton was completely silent and still. 

It was incredibly eerie, and…

Sad. 

Peter couldn’t help but think to himself that such a lively, exaggerated robot should never be so motionless. 

“Alphys will fix him,” Harry said quietly as Peter stood up. He looked at him with almost pleading eyes. “Right?”

“‘Course,” Peter agreed, keeping his gaze on Mettaton. “She built him, after all. She can recharge him.” He put a hand on Harry’s shoulder and smiled. “He’ll be fine.”

Harry nodded. After all this time, he could hardly believe he was feeling for the monster who’d gotten the closest to actually taking them out. He should have been exuberant that the nightmare was over. Yet, here he was, desperately asking Peter to reassure him that Mettaton would be alright. Harry snorted and shook his head with a smirk. 

_ Oh, how the turn tables,  _ he thought wryly. 

They didn’t notice that the stage had been descending until it clicked back into place in the floor below. They both jumped slightly, then laughed when they realized they’d returned to the ground. 

“Well,” said Peter, cracking his shoulder blades, “I guess that’s that, huh?”

“I guess so,” said Harry, looking toward the opposite end of the room, now open and unblocked by any dancing robots. “We’re right there. For real, this time.”

The slamming of a metal door made them jump again, but they calmed themselves when they saw the familiar form of Alphys sprinting over. She looked like she’d been crying, judging by the red rims around her eyes beneath her glasses, but a wobbly smile was in place on her snout.

"I...I managed to open the lock!” she panted, skidding to a stop next to the boys. “Are you three..." When she saw Mettaton, torso motionless and lifeless on the floor, she couldn’t stifle a loud gasp.

"Oh my God!!" She immediately dropped to her knees, running her hands all over his body as if checking for something. “Mettaton! Mettaton, are you..." She apparently found what she was looking for and sighed in abject relief. "Thank GOD, it's just the batteries,” she breathed, getting back to her feet. “Mettaton, i-if you were gone, I would have...I would have..." 

Alphys suddenly seemed to remember that Peter and Harry were there, as she whipped her head around and shoved her hands deep in her coat pockets. Both were standing and watching her quietly, waiting for her to finish her inspection of Mettaton before saying anything.

Smiling sheepishly, the lizard woman stammered, "I m-mean, h-hey, it's n-no problem, you know? He's just a robot, so if you messed him up, I c-could always...j-just build another." 

Peter and Harry glanced at one another. They knew what had to come next. They were glad to see Alphys and glad that Mettaton would be alright, but there was still the small, unresolved issue of the fact that she’d lied to them for quite a long time. As much as they didn’t want to have this conversation, it was important and inevitable. After a short, silent battle of wills carried out through intense eye contact, Peter accepted his role as the one to start the whole thing off.

"Alphys,” Peter began with a sigh, “we have to talk.”

Alphys’s spines seemed to physically droop. Lowering her eyes, she mumbled, “I-I know.”

“You know what you did was wrong, right?” he asked gently. “Lying to us?” 

Her lower lip trembled. Removing her hands from her pockets, she began to wring them together as her tail hung limply behind her. 

“Yes,” she said, and it came out sounding like a sob. “Yes, I...I-I-I know. And I’m so sorry. Oh, God, I-I’m so, so,  _ so sorry… _ ” Alphys started to cry, big, fat tears rolling down her cheeks and plopping to the metal floor below as she collapsed back onto her knees. Peter and Harry quickly went and knelt beside her, Peter placing a hand on her shoulder as it heaved.

“Hey, hey,” he soothed, “easy. Alphys, it’s okay. I mean, it’s not  _ okay,  _ but-” He ran a hand through his hair.

_ Talk better, stupid. _

“I mean, we forgive you,” he said at last. 

Alphys sniffled and looked up at him through her tear-streaked glasses. “Y-You do...?”

“Of course we do,” Harry said, rubbing gentle circles on her back. “You’re our friend. We can’t stay mad at you.” He chuffed a light laugh, and Alphys managed a very weak, unstable smile. 

Growing a bit more serious again, Harry said, “But, Alphys...you know you didn’t have to do all that to get us to like you, right? We like you for who you are. You didn’t need to pretend to save us from a chaotic robot just to be our friend.” He smirked and raised a teasing eyebrow. Alphys bit her lip.

“I...know that, now,” she sighed, grabbing onto her tail and wring it in her hands. “I guess I just...I-I didn’t think you’d like me if I didn’t d-do anything... _ cool.  _ I thought y-you’d forget about me. I thought you’d f-find my annoying. I thought...I th-thought…” She shook her head and sniffled again. “N-No. That’s no excuse. You’re right, you’re r-right. I was so afraid of losing you that I thought I had to keep lying, and th-then it got  _ way  _ out of hand.” Letting out a long, quiet breath, she sat back on her heels and looked up at them once more. “I never should have lied to you in the first place. I’m sorry.”

Peter and Harry met eyes over the top of her head. They both now wore similar relieved smiles. Peter let out a breath of his own and bent down further to give Alphys a big hug, Harry doing the same. They sat like that, all three of them, until Alphys broke contact and gave them a half-smile. 

"H-Hey, um...why don't...you two go on ahead?" she asked. "I’ll m-meet you at the elevator to the Capitol.” 

“Everything alright?” Peter asked.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine! I...I just need a moment." "

The boys nodded and got to their feet. It was more than understandable that she’d need some time after everything that had transpired. They were just glad that they’d cleared the air, and could go on being friends without anything between them. It was a great relief for more than just Alphys.

“Alright,” said Peter warmly, patting her on the shoulder. “We’ll meet you there.” He and Harry turned toward the door at the end of the room, and it seemed almost to pulsate with pure, undiluted energy as they got closer and closer. Logically they knew it was just the weight of what lay beyond that made it seem so powerful, but it didn’t make it any less nerve wracking. 

They cast one last glance at Alphys before they went through the door. She was right where they’d left her, sitting on the ground and staring down between her feet with a sort of quiet intensity. 

_ She’ll be alright,  _ Peter told himself with a small nod.  _ We’re all gonna be okay. There’s nothing left to stop us, now. _

Bringing their gazes back to the door, both Peter and Harry stepped through to the other side. 


	56. The Undertale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After one last shocking revelation from Alphys, Peter and Harry finally enter the Capitol. When they come across a strange, gray-washed house in the middle of their path that looks strikingly similar to Toriel's home in the Ruins, they end up discovering more than they could have possibly imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnd here it is. The chapter I've been waiting for since starting to post this on here. This one took a lot of time and a lot of emotional energy to write, hence the slight delay in uploading; it was a doozy ^^" But I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless. We're really getting there now, folks, and it won't be long until we come to the end of our own journey. <3

The hall stretching from the doorway to the elevator was relatively short. It was blue and silver, the same color scheme as most of the rest of the Core, and the elevator itself was plain and unassuming. Yet they knew that once they stepped inside its metal doors, they would be taken off to meet the final challenge of their journey.

_ We’ll make him see, _ thought Peter, doing his best to quell the butterflies that had fluttered to life in his stomach. _ I know we will. _

They waited quietly for Alphys by the elevator, each too lost in his own thoughts to say much. There was a lot that had just happened, and a lot that was _ about _to happen. A moment like this seemed to call for some silent reflection. 

Alphys caught up with them about three minutes later. She came hurrying down the hall with her glasses slightly askew, big tail swinging behind her as she trotted up to them. 

"S...Sorry about that!" she gasped, placing a hand on the wall and leaning up against it. 

“You okay?” Peter asked with a light laugh. “You didn’t have to run!”

“I-I’m...fine,” Alphys reassured him with a weak laugh of her own. She coughed and cleared her throat, and then she began to fiddle with her hands. She glanced to the side, seemingly having trouble meeting their eyes.

"S-So...you're about to meet Asgore, h-huh?” she said after a moment of somewhat awkward silence. “You must be...y-you must be...pr...pretty excited about all that, yeah?" 

Peter and Harry sighed.

“We’re, uh...I don’t know if I’d say _ excited, _ ” Peter admitted, “but we definitely feel...something. Heh.” He scratched at his head and chuckled. “It’s a lot to take in, to be honest. I know we’ve been through a lot in this past day and a half, or however long it’s been-” ( _ How long HAD it been, actually? Their frame of reference for time had all but evaporated) _ “-but finally meeting Asgore...it’s something we’ve known we’d have to do since the beginning, and I _ still _don’t feel ready.” He gave a sheepish smile.

“I just hope the stories we heard about him are true,” Harry said as he leaned up next to the elevator with his elbow. “I mean, we heard a lot of conflicting things, but the general consensus seems to be that he’s a pretty nice guy. I hope that extends to us.” If it didn’t, they’d be in for a very, very bad time. Harry shuddered lightly. Best not to think about that possibility. 

“Ooh, yeah, h-he’s...he’s really nice!” said Alphys, nodding eagerly in agreement. “I...I know you being humans might m-make things a little weird, but I think...I-I think that if you just t-t-talk to him, then m-maybe it’ll be okay.” She mustered up a shaky smile and finally lifted her gaze to meet theirs. “Y-You'll finally...you'll finally get to go home!" 

“That’s a relief,” Peter said with a grin. “I trust your judgement.”

Alphys’s eyes once again slid down to the floor, and her hand fidgeting increased. Seeing this, Peter also lowered his eyes. 

_ This is probably just as hard on her as it is us, _ he thought solemnly. _ We know we’re coming back, but she must feel like she’ll never see us again. _

Bending down on one knee, Peter placed a hand on Alphys’s shoulder and did his best to look her in the eyes. "Thanks, Alphys," he said with the utmost sincerity. "For everything. You know, after everything...we still couldn’t have done it without you." 

Alphys’s shoulders shook briefly and she choked down a sob. 

“I hope you know that,” Peter continued. “And I want you to know that after we get home...we’re gonna come back for you. All of you. We’re gonna tear down that Barrier, and all the monsters will finally get to be on the Surface. That’s what we promised, way back in Snowdin. That’s part of why we fought so hard to get here, you know? To get home, sure...but we also made a vow, and we intend to see it through.” He offered her a soft, sincere smile, hoping that she would take what he’d said to heart. He wanted so desperately for her to believe him. 

When Alphys didn’t say anything in return, Harry spoke up. 

“We’re gonna miss you, Alphys. But we will come back. We promise.”

Peter waited several seconds, and when Alphys continued to stare at the floor in silence, he gave her shoulder one last pat and reluctantly stood back up. It would probably be best not to prolong their farewell any longer. 

“Well...see you soon.” He gave her a friendly little salute, and then he and Harry both turned toward the elevator with deep breaths. Peter pressed the button, of which there was only one: up. Fifteen seconds ticked slowly, agonizingly by before the light at the top turned red and the doors slid smoothly open with a _ ding. _

“I guess this is it,” Harry murmured, looking up at the LED display. “Last leg.”

“Yeah,” Peter agreed. “Let’s do it, pal.” 

Just before they could step inside, though, Alphys suddenly cried out in desperation. 

"W-Wait!!"

Peter and Harry turned back toward her, surprised and hopeful. “Yeah? What is it, Alphys?” Peter asked. He was glad she’d decided to speak up. He wasn’t sure he’d be able stomach knowing they’d left her all alone and sad in the corridor.

Alphys paused, then stammered, "...I mean, um...I...I was just going to...um...say goodbye, and..." She bit her lip, then choked out a hiccupy sob. "I...I can't_ take this _ anymore!" She turned around, facing away from them, and buried her face in her hands. "I...I lied to you. Again. I d-didn’t wanna say anything, but I just _ can’t _anymore.” 

The boys’ faces fell and they immediately went pale.

“What...what do you mean?” asked Peter slowly. He tried not to let any of the sudden, acute panic rising up in him show through his voice. “Alphys, what are you talking about?” His mind was racing. What could she be lying about now? _ What else had she hid from them? _

Alphys sobbed again, and she swiped at her eyes. Shakily, she continued, “T-Two human souls aren't strong enough to cross the Barrier alone. Your c-combined power would only be enough to g-get one of you across. S-S-So if you both want to get through, it’ll take at least two human souls..._ and _ a monster soul." 

Peter and Harry were frozen to their places. The implications of Alphys’s words were hovering just at the edges of their minds, but they couldn’t bring themselves to actually think it, much less say it.

“What does...what does that mean?” Peter almost whispered. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t. Because if he said it, it would make it real. And then all they’d striven for would be for nothing. 

Alphys confirmed their unspoken fears, her voice trembling and coated in tears. "If you want to go home...you'll have to take his soul. You'll have to _ kill _Asgore." 

Her words hung heavy in the air, covering the small space like a smothering blanket. Without waiting for either Peter or Harry to muster a reply, which they very clearly couldn’t even begin to do, Alphys swiftly walked off back the way she’d come. Just before she disappeared through the door, she cast a forlorn glance over her shoulder. 

“I'm sorry." 

And then she was gone.

Peter and Harry stood by the elevator for a good while, just allowing what they’d learned to sink in. The elevator doors had long since closed, having sensed that no one had stepped inside. They just waited there in the cold, empty hall, left with nothing but their friend’s final, cryptic warning and their own devastation. 

Peter was the first to break the silence.

“No.”

Harry looked at him warily. "No?" 

"No," Peter said again, firmer this time. "We're not killing him. There has to be another way.” 

“But Pete, Alphys said-”

“I don't care what Alphys said,” Peter stated, fixing his friend with a determined gaze. “We’ve gotten out of hopeless situations before. Half the messes we got ourselves into down here seemed impossible, and we’re still here, aren’t we?” He shook his head. “We made a promise to Toriel back in the Ruins, and it’s one I intend to keep no matter what. No one is dying today." 

Harry drew a long breath. He nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “Somehow...somehow we’ll figure something out. We can’t go back now, anyway, so the only way to go is forward.”

Peter smiled a half-smile. “Well said, buddy.” He looked back toward the elevator, and with a quirked eyebrow he gestured his head toward it. Harry nodded again. Peter pressed the button.

This time, when the elevator arrived, they stepped in right away. There was no more time to hang around. Whatever was going to happen would happen, and there was no way around it. All they could do was push forward and face it head-on.

The panel inside the metal box also only had one button, and Peter’s finger lingered over it for just a moment before he pushed it. Then the doors slid closed with a solemn finality, and they began their ascent. 

The entire ride was spent in silence. There wasn’t much left to say. 

When the elevator finally stopped and they stepped out, they found themselves on top of what appeared to be a long parapet. They could see that it stretched on for a ways before turning sharply to the left, and a brightly glinting star lay at the end, just before the turn in the path. Additionally, unlike the various sections of the Underground they’d traversed, everything here was..._ gray. _Gray and bleak, as far as the eye could see. It was a startling departure from what they were accustomed to.

Peter felt a sudden wave of apprehension wash over him, and the fluttery insects in his stomach became more erratic. 

_ Come on, Parker, keep it together. You knew you’d get here eventually. Time to put your methods to the test. _

Slowly, still not saying a word, Peter and Harry made their way along the part of the wall they’d exited onto, and upon approaching the star Peter bent down and touched it. A cold chill raced down both of their spines when the otherworldly voice they’d grown so accustomed to hearing remained quiet. For the first time since they’d discovered the peculiar stars, it appeared the voice had nothing to say. 

Harry couldn’t keep himself from shivering lightly. He'd grown so used to that voice. Now, when it would have brought at least some small comfort in this unfamiliar terrain, its silence only increased the eerie sense of foreboding. 

“Why didn’t it say anything?” he whispered. He couldn’t quite pinpoint why it felt important to speak quietly, but there was a tension in the air here that made him feel like it was not to be disturbed. 

Peter just shook his head. 

“I don’t know,” he replied, although he mouthed the words more than spoke them. He stood back up to his full height and looked down the path, which appeared to continue in a vague square shape. He could only assume that it would bring them closer and closer to the castle as they went on. 

Continuing along the wall, allowing it to take them where it would, they looked out across the sprawling Capitol as they went. As ominous as the atmosphere felt there, away from the usual color and life of the rest of the Underground, Peter and Harry had to admit that the sight of the Capitol was breathtaking. Being so far above the city gave them an unobstructed view of the entire area.

They could see the rounded rooftops of dozens of buildings in the distance. Pinprick lights shone from countless windows, looking like fireflies against the dark backdrop of the end of the cavern. It was strange to think that they’d come not only to the end of their unexpected journey, but to the physical end of the Underground, as well. 

They’d been walking for around seven or eight minutes (they couldn’t quite tell) when they came to the end of the parapet. Before them was not a castle, as they had expected, however; instead they found themselves in a small courtyard, the same shade of gray as everything else around them. At the end of the courtyard was a squat gray building, and just before the entrance was another star. It somehow seemed far lonelier than any star they’d come across before, soaking up the somber air around it.

“Is this...it?” Harry asked hesitantly, glancing around as they continued forward with careful steps. From what had been described to them, it didn’t seem like it. This was no castle. 

“I don’t know,” said Peter. He approached the star, the only spot of color all alone in a gray sea, and he touched it with the tip of his pointer finger. Again, the voice said nothing. Peter swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“Well, I guess we have to go in,” he said as he looked up at the building looming over them. It wasn’t really all that imposing, but the bleak, suffocating atmosphere made everything seem more intimidating. 

“Yeah,” Harry sighed. “I guess so.”

Even saying this, they still lingered for several seconds before they were able to force themselves forward. Peter looked at Harry, and Harry looked at Peter. For the first time, they truly did not want to keep going.

But, of course, they had no other choice.

When they finally did manage to cross the threshold of the doorway, the sense of deja vu they were hit with felt like the crashing of a massive wave. Peter actually stumbled over his feet briefly, sucking in a sharp breath and nearly choking on it. Harry was frozen in shock, his mouth hanging halfway open as he fixed his eyes on the mirror across the room.

That long, familiar mirror.

“Oh my God,” he said, exhaling the sentence in one short breath.

Peter, who’d steadied himself on the wall, went shakily to stand beside Harry, and he too set his gaze on the mirror. They could see their reflection in it: two short, tired-looking boys, hair mussed and somewhat unkempt, faces lined with apprehension but also with hope. It had been quite a while since they’d seen their reflections. Their true reflections, that was; they’d seen somewhat distorted pictures in snow, in puddles, in the glossy metal floors of the Core… But they hadn’t seen their reflection in a mirror since…

“Toriel,” Peter whispered. 

The space they now found themselves in was a near-perfect carbon copy of Toriel’s cottage in the Ruins. Even just from this first glimpse, the similarities were undeniable: the same staircase on the far wall, the same mirror hanging above it, the same low shelf filled with assorted books. The only difference was that whereas Toriel’s home was full of life and color, here, everything was...gray. Just like the rest of the Capitol. 

The only hint of color the two could see was a small, golden flower resting in a vase atop one of the drawers by the opposite wall, looking very out of place against the dreary palette of the room.

“This is so..._ weird, _” Harry murmured. He gingerly took a few more steps into the foyer, still afraid that making any kind of noise would shatter the eerie quiet. 

Turning his head to the left, Harry was at once startled and expecting to see what he saw: through the large open space in the wall was a living room laid out exactly as Toriel’s was, complete with a dining table, bookshelf, and fireplace with a cozy armchair beside it. Once again, a lone golden flower in a vase on the table acted as the (only) colorful centerpiece. Harry shook his head, bringing one hand to his temple.

“I don’t understand,” he said, voice tinted with bewildered desperation. “I don’t understand.”

Peter, feeling a mite overwhelmed, began to wander down the hall to the right. He wanted to see if the other rooms were the same as the ones back in the Ruins. Of course, he already knew in his gut that they would be, but he had to see for himself anyway. He soon heard the quiet steps of Harry behind him, and together they crept toward the first door lining the hall.

As they passed by the staircase that led down to somewhere unknown, Peter took notice that a chain crossed barred the entrance, locked with two padlocks. Whoever’s house this was, it seemed they didn’t want anyone going down there. 

_ That might be a problem, if that’s the way we need to go, _Peter thought anxiously. 

By now they’d reached the first door. It swung open with a gentle push. 

As expected, this room was an exact, gray copy of the room in which they’d stayed during the brief time they had with Toriel. There was another, somewhat more noticeable difference in this one, though -- instead of two beds pushed up against either side of the room, there were four, one nestled into each corner. 

“This is so weird,” Harry repeated under his breath as his eyes slowly scanned the small room. It was like getting intense waves of deja vu over and over again, except one thing was distinctly, uncomfortably off. He didn’t like it. The painful reminders of Toriel didn’t help much, either. Pulling down on his sweater, Harry whispered urgently, “Pete, let’s go. Please? I don’t...I don’t wanna stay in here.” 

Peter nodded, though he was still taking in the rest of the room. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” He tore his gaze away from the wardrobe at the back of the room, and together they turned to go. Before leaving, however, a small glint caught the corner of Peter’s eye, and he spun back around curiously. There, on the bed closest to the door on the right-hand side, was a small golden locket. 

Slowly, almost transfixed, Peter reached out for the locket and picked it up. He turned it over in his fingers a couple of times, rubbing his thumb gently over the etched insignia on the cover. It was the two winged circles and the three little triangles beneath it; the symbol of the Underground’s prophecy. What had Gerson called it again? _ The deltarune. _That was it. The locket was inscribed with the deltarune.

“What is that?” Harry asked, voice low, peering over Peter’s shoulder. Peter shook his head in wonder.

“It’s...a locket, I think. With the deltarune on it.” 

He searched for a seam with his fingernail, and when he found the tiny clasp he pressed it and the locket popped open. Inside was a picture of four people: three human boys, and one monster. All were smiling happily at the camera. Opposite from the photo was the inscribed phrase _ Best Friends Forever. _

A sudden jolt went through both of them.

_ Wait. Wait, wait, wait. This can’t be- _

And yet they knew it had to. The photo in the locket depicted the same four people from the photograph back in Toriel’s house, in the room they’d slept in so long ago...only this time, the faces of the other two humans weren’t obscured with flowers. Next to the blonde boy and the goat monster (who still looked like a mini-me of Toriel in a green and yellow sweater), smiling just as brightly, were a brunet boy and a black-haired boy. 

The brunet, who stood all the way on the left next to the blonde, wore a simple white shirt and a breezy brown jacket. The black-haired boy was on the opposite end, next to the monster. His hair was very curly, and his eyes squinched up as he grinned into the camera. His baggy black sweater bore a striking resemblance to Harry’s, who unconsciously fiddled with the hem of it as he studied the picture. 

After all this time, they’d finally seen the faces of the mystery boys.

_ It’s just too bad we still don’t know who they ARE, _Peter thought with slight dismay. 

And they’d also been presented with another mystery: why was this picture _ here? _ If it was an old family photo of Toriel’s, or a picture of her and some friends in their youth, why was it also in a locket all the way in the Capitol of the Underground? _ Who lived here? _

Peter frowned slightly as he continued to study the image. He couldn’t explain it, but looking at the picture now gave him a strange feeling inside. It was like he _ knew _those boys. They were right on the tip of his tongue, but he just couldn’t place them. The longer he stared, the more the feeling that there was something oddly familiar about them grew, swelling and nagging until he couldn’t take it anymore. He sighed and closed the locket with a click. There wasn’t any time to dwell on such things now.

He was about to set the locket back on the bed when something in him urged him to put it on. It wasn’t so much a thought as an innate instinct, and without questioning it much, he looped it over his head and allowed it to settle on his chest. When Harry raised an eyebrow in questioning, Peter smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

“I, uh...it just felt like the right thing to do,” he offered by way of explanation. “It feels like it might be important.” 

Harry nodded thoughtfully, making a half-shrug of his own. “Can’t hurt,” he said. 

With their business in the room completed for real this time, Peter and Harry again turned to leave. Upon making their way back into the hall, Peter nodded down toward the room next door. 

“I wanna check that one, too,” he said. “Just in case.”

Harry didn’t look very happy about it, but he acquiesced and gestured for Peter to lead the way, which he gladly did. 

The second room was furnished sparsely, containing only a king size bed, a writing desk, a dresser, and an armoire. Another vase of golden flowers sat atop the dresser, and on the desk was a journal and a small yellow key. Several packets of seeds, ranging from fruit to flowering plants, were scattered about the desktop as well. 

Drifting closer, Peter could see that the journal was open. The latest passage, written in neat, legible handwriting, read, “_ Nice day today!” _

Peter gazed for a long moment at the cheerful words in the journal, taking some time to consider his next actions. Finally, he nodded to himself and took the key from the desk, pocketing it next to the cell phone. In all likelihood, they’d need it to progress past the locked entrance of the staircase. 

It wasn’t like they’d be keeping it forever. They could always return it to the king when they met him. 

After all, by now, it had become fairly obvious to both of them that this was where Asgore resided. It had dawned on them immediately upon stepping into this room and seeing the contents therein; gardening had been repeatedly mentioned as a beloved pastime of the king, and with the house’s assumed close proximity to the castle, there was no denying that this had to be Asgore’s private living quarters. 

They still had no answer as to why it looked so similar to Toriel’s house in the Ruins. That part was still as much a mystery as the identities of the people in the locket, and what the picture itself was doing in Asgore’s house. But Peter and Harry knew, with a grim certainty, that they were currently trespassing in the home of the man who would decide if they would get to return to the Surface.

Without voicing their shared revelation, as there was no need to, Peter and Harry turned and left the bedroom. They didn’t want to remain in such a private space for any longer than they had to. 

On their way out of the room, the slight creaking of floorboards sent their heads whipping toward the living room. All of the hairs on Peter’s arms were standing up, and his spider sense was starting to pulse ever so vaguely at the base of his skull. It didn’t detect danger — not yet, anyway — but it did detect _ something. _

Harry looked back at Peter, wild-eyed. Putting a finger to his lips, Peter motioned for his friend to stay quiet and follow behind him. 

Moving with even more caution, Peter and Harry made their way into the living room. Head on a swivel, Peter scanned the entire room multiple times, but no one was there. Nothing was disturbed or out of place. It looked as if everything was exactly as they had left it.

The sound came again, and this time it was closer. It also came from the direction of the room just beyond the living room, which the boys recalled had been a very small kitchen. If the layout of Asgore’s home continued to match Toriel’s room for room, then it stood to reason that that room would also be a kitchen. 

Harry, trembling lightly, looked at Peter with a question in his eyes: _ Should we go in? _

Peter bit his lip. His spider sense wasn’t getting any louder, but it also wasn’t going away, either. The thought of running into King Asgore himself, in his own kitchen, way before they had fully prepared themselves, was one that sent him shivering. But...they hadn’t checked the kitchen yet. What if the other key that they needed was in there? Creaking didn’t always necessarily indicate a presence. It could just as well be the house settling, or something mundane like that. If they didn’t check, they’d never know.

Peter reluctantly nodded. They had to go in. 

Sucking in a breath and holding it, the spider-boy led the way inside the next room. It was indeed a kitchen, another copy of Toriel’s, only completely lifeless and gray. 

_ So far, so good, _he thought as he crept further into the room with Harry in tow. Nothing out of the ordinary, as far as Peter could see. Just a fridge, a stove, an oven, a few dishes…

“We knew you would come.”

The unexpected voice nearly gave both boys a heart attack. They both let out identical shrill screams, and whirled around to find two Froggits standing behind them, looking up into their faces with passive dark eyes.

“Holy _ crap, _ ” Peter gasped, clutching at his chest with one hand while the other braced against the stove. “You _ scared _us, dudes! Maybe don’t sneak up on us next time!!”

“I feel light-headed,” Harry whimpered, wrapping his arms around himself tightly. “I think I almost passed out.” 

“Apologies,” one Froggit croaked. “We did not mean to scare you.”

_ Yeah, right, _Peter thought with a huff, but he calmed himself down enough to offer the two monsters an awkward smile.

“Uh, i-it’s alright, I guess. Um...what are you...what are you doing here, if you don’t mind me asking? I mean, we thought...isn’t this…?” He gestured helplessly. 

“The king’s home?” the other Froggit supplied. 

“Yeah.”

“Yes, it is. King Asgore is kind enough to open his home to all monsters who wish to visit.” The monster scratched at its head with one of its back feet. “We came here in anticipation of seeing the humans come through. And here you are.” 

Harry and Peter shared an anxious glance.

“You were waiting...for us?” Harry asked tremblingly.

They nodded. 

“Rumors of your journey have spread throughout the Underground,” the first said. “There are very few monsters who do not know of the humans traveling to the Capitol.” 

Well...that DID make sense. They hadn’t exactly been very covert about where they were going. They’d done their best to conceal their status as humans, but quite a few monsters had seen right through their efforts. The whole final showdown with Mettaton probably hadn’t helped, either. Being called out as human by the Underground’s most popular celebrity live on television was a pretty dead giveaway. 

“I...yeah, that’s fair,” Peter said sheepishly. He cleared his throat. “Um, but...why did you want to- to see us? I-I mean, we’re not that much to look at.” He chuckled, but it was as strained as his voice. 

The two Froggits looked at him incredulously, as if the answer should be obvious.

“You are going to face the king soon,” the one on the left said. “When he takes your souls, we will all finally be free.”

“We wanted to see the humans who will help us attain our freedom,” the one on the right finished. “Before you are gone.”

The air in the room suddenly seemed much colder. Their faces turned pale. For a moment there were bright, glittering motes swimming across Harry’s vision. He managed to clear them with a swift shake of his head, but it didn’t do anything to abate the growing tightness of his stomach. 

“...Oh,” Peter said faintly. 

Another silence descended over them. Peter studied his fingers intensely with his head low. If he looked anywhere else, he might’ve lost all the composure he was doing his best to maintain.

He’d known all along, since the moment they’d left Toriel, that facing Asgore would be dangerous. Their other friends had given them the hope that conversing with the man was a viable option, but the Froggits’ words just now were a grim reminder that there was still that chance, slim though they hoped it would be, that they could die within the hour. It was just enough to thrust a cold spear of doubt right next to Peter’s heart. 

Peter pursed his lips and straightened his shoulders. _ No. _He couldn’t succumb to doubt. They’d come too far, persevered through too much, made too many promises to let themselves be overcome now. He inhaled slowly and fixed the Froggits with his eyes again.

“We’re not going to die,” he told them as gently but firmly as he could. “We’re going to talk to Asgore and explain that we have a plan. A plan to free all monsters, without any more bloodshed.” 

Emboldened by Peter’s quiet confidence, Harry nodded vigorously.

“Y-Yeah,” he said, clasping his hands by his chest. “We’re gonna talk to him and...and ask him to let us go, and then when we get back to the Surface, we’ll find a way to break the Barrier for good. That way, everyone can leave. And no one has to die.”

Peter and Harry’s small, insistent smiles faded as the Froggits first glanced at each other, then began to laugh.

“Hey,” Peter said with a frown. “What? What’s so funny? We’re not joking.”

“It is funny because it will never work,” the first Froggit said when it had calmed itself down. 

Peter placed his hands on his hips and furrowed his brow indignantly. “How do you know it won’t work?” he demanded. “We heard that Asgore is a good man. I think that we have a really good chance of convincing him to listen to us.”

Both Froggits sighed now, and they shook their froggy heads. 

“King Asgore _ is _a good man,” one said. “But he is also a very sad man.”

“He has been hurt by humans too many times to let our last chance slip away on the word of two human boys,” the other continued. It looked off to the side. “Besides, even if you did somehow get past the king...you will never find a way to break the Barrier.”

“Why not?” Peter asked desperately. “What makes you so sure?”

“You would need a great deal of help, and the humans above would never agree to let us go. They made that very clear when they so callously took away our hopes and dreams for the second time, so many decades ago.” The Froggit’s voice caught on these last words. It looked down and pawed at its eyes with a webbed hand. 

The boys’ faces softened in lightly bemused concern. 

_ Second time? _

“What do you mean?” asked Peter softly. “What...happened?” 

The two monsters gave each other another glance, and then they both took a deep breath. It looked to Peter and Harry as if they were preparing to tell a tale they’d told a hundred times before. 

"A long time ago, many years after we were banished beneath the mountain, three humans fell into the Ruins," the first said. 

"Injured by their fall, the humans called out for help," the second croaked. “Asriel, the king's son, heard the humans' call. At first they were afraid, as they’d heard stories of the fearsome monsters beneath Mt. Ebott...but he showed them nothing but kindness.” 

“Soon, all four of them were talking together comfortably,” continued the first Froggit. “With it being impossible to return through the hole they’d fallen through, he brought the humans back to the castle." 

"Over time, Asriel and the humans became like siblings. The King and Queen treated the human boys as their own children.” 

The boys jolted.

_ Wait. Queen? _

This was the first time they had ever heard of this. This entire time, throughout their whole journey, not a single soul had mentioned the presence of a queen.

_Something_ _must have happened, _thought Harry, forehead creasing with worry. What other reason could there be for never mentioning the other half of the monarchy?

“The royal family lived happily together, and we all believed that the humans would one day find a way to unite the two worlds which they were part of.” The monster raised its head to stare past Peter and Harry with a wistful, faraway look. “The Underground was full of hope." 

As they continued to listen to the Froggits’ story, Peter and Harry began to get the same strange, fluttery feeling in their stomachs. Peter’s hand unconsciously went up to clutch at the locket around his neck. Upon glancing down and seeing this, his eyes swiftly widened as some of the key floating pieces of the frustratingly vague, mysterious puzzle suddenly locked into place. 

_ Wait a minute. Three human boys… _

He popped open the locket. The picture of the monster and the human boys — all happy and smiling and holding the same golden flowers that decorated Asgore’s home — stared back at him. 

_ Oh my God. _

The monster in the picture wasn’t Toriel. It was Asgore’s son. It was _ Asriel. _And those human boys were his brothers. Well, adopted brothers. But still, brothers nonetheless. All four of them were Asgore’s children.

And if Toriel had almost the same exact picture of the king’s sons in her home, miles from the Capitol and the castle...and if the layout of her house matched the layout of the king's room for room...then that would have to mean…

_ No way. No freaking way. _

Peter couldn’t bring himself to draw that conclusion just yet. It was too strange, too mind blowing, to consider. 

_ It can’t be. It has to be someone else, _ he reasoned. _ She would’ve told us if she...I mean, if she was… Right? _His thoughts had taken on a hopelessly desperate tone. 

Shaking his head, he snapped the locket shut and focused again on the Froggits. He was sure that once they’d finished their story, everything would make sense. There would be a reasonable explanation, one that didn’t involve earth-shattering revelations. He just knew it.

_ But what if... _

“What happened?” Harry whispered, pulling Peter out of his frantic thoughts for real. The little monsters were quiet for a moment. 

"Then...one day..." The first Froggit sighed and lowered its eyes solemnly. "The humans became very ill." 

Peter and Harry met eyes.

_ Oh, no. _

“...How ill?” Peter asked, afraid that he already knew the answer. 

“Ill enough that they would never recover,” the Froggit on the right said gravely. 

Peter and Harry flinched. That was what they’d been expecting, and dreading. 

"The sick humans had only one request,” the monster continued. "To see the beautiful, golden flowers from their city. That was all they wanted. Just to see the flowers one last time.”

"But there was nothing we could do,” said the other. Its voice quavered on the edge of a sob. “There was _ nothing _ we could do. The Barrier is impossible to cross for a monster alone.” 

The other Froggit, clearly holding back tears, croaked, “The next day...the humans died."

Both Peter and Harry lowered their heads in despondency. Of course. Based on the somber tone of the Froggits’ tale, there was only one way it could have ended. Finally, they knew what had become of the humans in the photograph. 

“I’m so sorry,” Peter murmured. 

The frog monsters each let out another little sigh. 

"The royal family fell into despair. Asriel, wracked with grief, absorbed the humans' souls,” recounted the left Froggit. “He transformed into a being with incredible power." 

Again, they felt a jolt of shock shoot through their spines. The image of the great, powerful monster on one of the last plaques back in Waterfall flashed into their minds.

_ “A monster with a human soul...a terrible beast with unfathomable power.” _

Could that illustration have been depicting Asriel?

"With the human souls, Asriel crossed through the Barrier,” the Froggit continued. “He carried the bodies of the humans into the sunset, back to their city.”

“Asriel reached the center of the city. There, he found a bed of golden flowers. Knowing that these were the flowers his brothers had so desperately yearned for before their death, he carried the humans onto it." 

Peter felt in his gut that they were nearing the end of the story now. He sensed, like a great cloud of tension in the air, that the worst part was yet to come. All he could do was hold his breath and wait to hear the fate that had befallen the king’s last living son. 

Whatever it was, he knew it couldn’t have been good. Asriel, like the queen, had not once been mentioned by anyone on their journey; that didn’t bode well.

Sure enough, the voices of the Froggits somehow grew more grim with their next words. 

"Suddenly, screams rang out." 

"The people saw Asriel holding the bodies of the humans. They thought that he had killed the boys." 

Harry sucked a breath in through his teeth, and Peter placed a comforting hand softly on his arm as if to say, _ I know. _Their eyes remained glued to the monsters. 

"In anger, the humans attacked him with everything they had. He was struck with blow after blow. Not a single one showed any mercy. Again, and again, they slashed at his clothes and stabbed at his body. They did not pay heed to his howls of pain. All they cared about was revenge.”

Peter squeezed his eyes shut and felt a small, anguished breath leave his lips.

_ Oh, God. _

"Asriel had the power to destroy them all,” said the first Froggit. “But..." There was a slight pause. Its face looked almost troubled. “Asriel did not fight back." 

The boys’ eyes widened.

“What…?” 

_ After all that...he didn’t fight back? _ Peter thought in amazement. _ They tried to kill him...but he didn’t defend himself. Why? _

A tiny voice at the back of his mind told him that he _ knew _the reason. It was the same reason that he and Harry had been so determined not to let anyone bully them into a fight, likely learned from the same exact person. 

_ Her... _

He forcibly pushed that thought back and leaned in closer. _ No. _ There _ had _ to be another explanation. 

“Wh...what happened then?” he asked waveringly. “What did he do?”

“Clutching the humans...Asriel smiled, and walked away." 

"Wounded, Asriel stumbled home. He entered the castle with the lifeless bodies of the humans and collapsed. His parents were horrified when they saw what had become of their only living child. Weakly, he assured them that he would be alright...but his wounds were too great.” The Froggit shook its head, forlorn. “His dust spread across the garden." 

Well. That was it, then. Every person in the photo inside the locket was dead.

Somehow, just knowing that made it so much harder for Peter to keep it around his neck. Squeezing his eyes shut again, he brought his fist to his mouth to stifle a sudden cry. 

Beside him, Harry’s eyes grew misty. “God,” he whispered. An entire family falling apart in just one day...it was a nightmare to imagine. It made sense to him, now, why everything in Asgore’s house — save for the flowers —was lifeless and gray. Somehow, the house must have taken on the immense grief of the man who lived there. It was like something out of a sad, sad storybook.

“The kingdom fell into despair,” the Froggit on the right continued in a low voice. “The King and Queen had lost four children in one night. The humans had once again taken everything from us.”

Finally, the monsters looked back up at Peter and Harry. The boys were silent, only staring at the creatures with pity as their hearts ached for a family they’d never even know. 

“This was the last straw. The king decided it was time to end our suffering. He declared that from then on, any human that came to the Underground would be killed, and their souls taken for our own.” 

The two nodded. That was what they’d been told so long ago. The only difference was that now, they knew the final outrage that had caused the harsh decree. 

_ And, to be honest...I don’t think I can blame him. _

Peter looked down at the locket on his chest. Once, the boys inside had been part of a happy family. Then, in one fell swoop, they’d all been snuffed out. Every single one. Certainly, Asgore’s anger was completely justified…

But that still didn’t make killing innocent people okay. 

Peter had lost someone, too. He’d lost someone of his own fault, and the anger he’d felt then was all-consuming. He would have done anything in that moment to take revenge on the one who’d destroyed his family’s happiness. Then, in a moment of clarity, he’d remembered everything that his uncle had taught him. 

_ Rise above. _

_ “Never stoop to doing something you know is wrong _ ,” he’d said. _ “Never let the anger and hatred get the better of you. Otherwise, you may become just as bad as those who’ve hurt you.” _

_ Asgore’s suffered, _ Peter thought, turning his head to look around the kitchen briefly. _ He’s suffered more than anyone should ever have to. But what he’s doing is wrong. And we’re not going to let him continue further down that path. _

“The queen, becoming disgusted by Asgore’s decision, left the castle, never to return,” the first Froggit finished with a solemn bow of its head. “With her departure, the king became truly alone. He fell into a deep depression.” It raised its head again, and this time, its dark eyes shone with hope. “But he never forgot his promise to us.”

"Every human who falls down here must die,” the second agreed, waddling a bit closer to the boys. It cocked its head in a way that seemed almost pleading. "You must understand. We’ve been through so much. All we want is to go home. With enough souls, we can shatter the Barrier forever.” 

Peter turned his head to regard his friend. Harry looked equally as helpless as Peter felt. All that they’d just heard weighed heavy on their hearts and their minds. It was almost too much to take in. One of the earliest questions they’d been presented with upon falling down had finally been answered; the reasoning for Asgore’s cruel decree had been explained; indeed, the entire history of the royal family had essentially been presented to them in diet form. 

And then, of course, there was the little snippet of information that all but confirmed Peter and Harry’s growing suspicion about the identity of the mysterious queen. With that final mention of the royal matron having left the Capitol out of disgust at her husband’s actions, never to return... 

It was impossible to deny the truth any longer: Toriel was the Queen of the Underground.

_ I should have known the moment they mentioned the queen, _ Peter thought, hot shame turning his cheeks flushed. _ I should have known. The way she acted when we were going to leave...how she talked about Asgore...all the things she knew… God, how could we have been so blind? _

Even the clothing she wore clearly indicated her royal status. They should have realized after they’d learned of the deltarune’s significance from Gerson. For whatever reason, though, they hadn’t made the connection. 

Peter half-wondered if he _ had _ started to connect some of the dots way back when, but then shoved the idea deep down in his brain the same way he had during the Froggits’ tale, too anxious to think of what that would imply. Now, there was nowhere for him to hide. They had left the queen of monsters all alone, just as five other humans had before them, and she likely believed with all of her heart that she would never see them again; that her husband -- or, now, ex-husband -- would slaughter them mercilessly and take their souls for the purpose of swift and brutal revenge.

His eyes began to fill with tears, and he felt himself on the verge of that annoying little gasping thing he did when he was about to start full-on crying. Quickly, he turned away from the others and braced himself against the kitchen counter, forcing himself to take slow, regulating breaths. 

He was not going to cry. _ Not _now. 

Tears weren’t going to do Toriel any good. Tears weren’t going to bring back her sons. Tears weren’t going to change her husband’s mind. Tears weren’t going to change the fact that she’d lost so, _ so _much more than they’d thought. And tears definitely weren’t going to get her the future that they’d promised themselves they’d give to her and all of her people.

Sniffing once, Peter wiped the wetness away from his eyes and turned back to the Froggits, who’d been quietly watching him and Harry since finishing their story. He wanted to say something, but It took him a while to find the right words. After all, what were they supposed to say to a genuine plea for them to give up their lives? But after a moment or two, he found what he wanted to tell the waiting monsters.

“Listen,” he said, and the rawness in his voice made him wince. Nevertheless, he pushed on. “I can’t express to you how...how sorry we are, for everything. If I could wave a magic wand and erase all the harm humans have ever done to you, believe me, I would.” He swallowed lightly. “But I can’t. All I can do is promise you now that when we return to the Surface, we’re _ not _ going to forget about you. I don’t care what it takes; we’re going to take down the Barrier. There are good people on the Surface. As hard as it is for you to believe, there are. And I know for a fact that a lot of those good people will want to help you as much as we do. So, please...please, don’t give up hope. Don’t think that the only way for this to end is with death. Because we’re here to tell you...we will not let you down. We made a promise, and we _ always _keep our promises.”

He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly through his nose as he fixed the two Froggits with a soft, imploring gaze. They were still looking up at him, their long, froggy mouths set in identical thin lines. It looked like they were at least thinking over what he had said, and that gave him hope.

Then, they both shook their heads, and Peter felt his burgeoning smile fall. 

"I am sorry, human,” the first one said apologetically. “You have good hearts...but even you will not be able to get past the king.”

“We have waited too long,” the other said. “What you propose will never work. We do not wish ill on you, humans, but our day of reckoning is finally at hand. It won't be long now.” The faintest hint of a smile appeared on its face. “King Asgore will let us go." 

"King Asgore will give us hope,” the first added. 

"King Asgore will save us all." 

“But…wait,” Peter said weakly, reaching out a desperate hand. “Please...why don’t you believe us?” 

The Froggits just lowered their eyes and turned around, preparing to leave. Before they did, though, they both looked over their shoulders at the downtrodden Peter and Harry.

“You know…perhaps you should be smiling, too,” one said. 

“What?” Harry asked, voice shaking. “W-Why…?” He just couldn’t understand. What could they possibly have to _ smile _about after all this? They’d basically just been told that their entire journey had been for naught; that their plan to talk with Asgore and free the monsters peacefully was completely foolhardy, impossible. All Harry felt like doing was sitting down right there in that kitchen and crying. 

"Aren't you excited to finally finish your adventure?” the other Froggit asked, tilting its head. “Aren't you happy? After all, no matter what happens...whatever the outcome...you're going to be free."

Their words hung in the air even as the two monsters hopped away, leaving the boys alone in the kitchen once more with nothing but their thoughts. 

For a while, they just stood there silently, staring at the floor. There wasn’t much else they felt capable of doing at the moment. It was like all their energy, all their hope, all their _ determination _had been sucked out by the revelations made known to them in Asgore’s kitchen. They had felt so confident coming down from the platform with Mettaton, but after Alphys’s final admission back in the final hall, things had just started getting worse. The sickening sense of foreboding that had been slowly increasing since they stepped foot out of that elevator had finally reached its peak, and now...now, they didn’t know what to do.

_ What if the Froggits are right? _ Peter thought bleakly. _ What if we can’t convince Asgore to let us go? What then? We’ll never make it back to the Surface. We’ll never break the Barrier. We’ll never set the monsters free. All of humanity will be destroyed... _

Peter closed his eyes. He felt hot tears sting the corners again where they’d welled up just seconds before. His throat constricted tightly around the words he couldn’t find. He could hear Harry shifting against the counter beside him, quiet little whimpers escaping him as he tried to stifle them with his sweater sleeve. If he weren’t so drained, Peter might have commented on what a strange sight they made: two human boys, far underground, on the verge of tears in the kitchen of the Mountain King. 

Instead, just as he was about to stop resisting and let the floodgates open, an image of Toriel appeared in his mind. Her kind face was bright and warm. Little squinchy crinkles creased the corners of her eyes, and her fuzzy white muzzle was curved in a tender smile. She looked exactly the way she’d looked when they showed up on her doorstep, after traversing the rest of the Ruins on their own to surprise her. She looked...so _ happy _. 

Through the mire of icky, defeatist thoughts currently bubbling in his brain, one other thought rose to the surface: _ Toriel would want us to try. _

Peter opened his eyes. He glanced down again at the locket where it rested above his heart. Inside that locket were four of the people Toriel had held dearest to herself. They were her children. They were her children, and now Peter and Harry were her children, too. She’d taken them in as her own without a second thought; given them beds to sleep in and food to eat; been prepared to let them stay there with her in that cozy little cottage forever. 

Toriel had made them part of her scattered, fractured family, and when they inevitably had to leave her as so many had before, she let them go. Even though it broke her poor heart in two, she put them before herself and accepted the heartache that would follow. Toriel was the reason they were alive to make it to this moment, and if nothing else, then by God, they were going to see this through for _ her _. It was the absolute least they could do. 

A fiery sense of renewed determination filled Peter’s chest as he pushed off from the kitchen counter. His eyes were alight with that inner spark once again, and he turned to face Harry intently.

“Harry.”

Harry sniffled and raised his red-rimmed eyes to meet Peter’s.

“U-Uh? Yeah?”

“Come on. We can’t mope around this place all day.” He extended a hand toward his friend, and a small, confident smile was back in its proper place on his face. “We have a king to meet.”

Harry looked down at Peter’s hand, and for just a moment he wavered. Lip trembling, he asked, “B-But what if we-”

“We can do it. I know we can. Toriel didn’t save us from Flowey so that we could die at her husband’s hand.” He inclined his head forward, the look in his eyes growing more intense. “_ We can do this.” _

Harry stared at him for a moment longer, his own hand shaking slightly at his side. He wanted to believe Peter. He wanted to believe him more than anything. But the things the Froggits had said...they’d gotten to him more than he would’ve liked to admit. Part of him still wondered if maybe they really were in way, way over their head.

But then, looking at his best friend’s determined, unwavering gaze, Harry got the feeling that they wouldn’t have made it this far if they weren’t capable of handling tough situations. They’d have folded under Toriel’s disappointed gaze, or stayed cooped up in Papyrus’s shed without even trying to befriend him, or fallen to Undyne during their hair-raising final encounter, or died during any number of Mettaton’s deadly TV spots. If they weren’t strong enough to make it, then they already would have been dead.

Harry’s eyes obtained the same determined light he saw in Peter’s, and he reached out and clasped his friend’s hand with his own. Peter grinned.

“Let’s go, buddy. We have an appointment to keep with destiny.”

“Right.” Harry nodded, and then he chuckled. “God, that was so cheesy.”

Peter smirked and shrugged. “Hey, the situation called for it.” He lifted one arm and shot a thin web line at something on top of the stove, which turned out to be a green key when he yanked it back in a fluid motion. “Alright,” he said as he pocketed the key, “I think we’re ready to go.”

“Wait, how’d you know where it was?” asked Harry with wide eyes as he glanced back at the stove. “Did you know that was there the whole time?” 

“I saw it after the Froggits came in, but I wanted to wait until they were finished to grab it,” Peter explained. “Didn’t wanna be rude, y’know?”

Harry just laughed.

“Well, I’m just glad we don’t have to look around for it. Lead the way, Spider-Man.”

Peter gave an over-exaggerated salute before bounding out of the kitchen and toward the staircase in the main foyer. The two keys they’d collected fit perfectly in the padlocks, and the chain fell away to allow them access to whatever lay below Asgore’s home. 

With their hopes and spirits renewed, Peter and Harry descended the stairs. They were finally ready -- mentally, emotionally, and physically -- to proceed to the castle. They knew Asgore would be waiting there for them, but that was okay. They were counting on it. 

And, in all honesty, they were somewhat excited. Certainly they were nervous (that was kind of inevitable), but after hearing so much about the legendary monster king, they were more than ready to meet him for themselves. Whether he would live up to the various descriptors they’d been given would soon be answered. 

More than anything, though, they were hopeful. If Toriel had once loved this man, then he had to have at least some compassion. Peter and Harry believed that if they could just reach out to the kind, good man that lay beneath the sad and angry surface, they would be able to resolve things the way they’d been doing it since the beginning: peacefully. They would make Toriel proud.


	57. In the Hall of the Mountain King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last, the boys reach the castle. Upon entering, they find someone unexpected waiting for them inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy...here we go :3c
> 
> I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas/holiday season, and here's to a much safer, happier, healthier new year! I look forward to bringing you lots more Undertale and other stories in 2021 ^^

The staircase (identical to the one at Toriel’s except -- of course -- gray) led down to another long, gray pathway. Unlike the path they’d been deposited on upon leaving the elevator, though,  _ this  _ path had a clear end in sight: a tall, golden, glittering castle that towered above everything else in the Capitol, casting a distant shadow across the smaller buildings down below. Just like the flowers in Asgore’s home, it seemed like the only instance of color in all the city.

“Looks a lot more welcoming than everything else here, at least,” Harry said, doing his best to have an optimistic outlook. 

“Yeah. A lot more colorful, too,” said Peter. He kept his eyes near the top of the castle as they made their way toward it, and he had to tilt his head back more and more the closer they got. 

Despite the decent length of the path, Peter and Harry found themselves at the foot of the palace in seemingly no time at all. Whether it was because they were lost in deep thought, or the distance was simply not as far as it had first seemed, to them it felt like they’d only been walking for a minute or two. 

It was somewhat ironic, in a way. After all the time they’d spent and memories they’d made on their long, winding, sometimes arduous journey, it had only taken mere moments on this path to reach the hall of the Mountain King. 

"Well..." Peter said as he gazed up at the entrance to the palace. "I guess this really is it, this time. For real.”

Each time they thought they’d been on the verge of completing what they’d started a long time ago, it turned out to be merely the beginning of the end. Now, the end had no place else to go. 

Harry swallowed imperceptibly. He tried to swallow the burning sense of anxiety that had crept up his chest, too, but it remained lodged in his throat. 

“Do you...think we’re ready?”

Peter reached out his left hand and squeezed his friend’s in his own. 

“Har, I don’t think there’s anything we could do to be more ready.” 

They’d traversed the entire Underground to get to this moment: the small but tidy Ruins; the snow-covered forest and cozy village of Snowdin Town; the damp, sprawling, maze-like Waterfall; the sticky, sweaty lavascape of Hotland; the confusing mechanical mess of the Core. All of this they had journeyed through, making unlikely friends along the way and keeping themselves alive against sometimes impossible odds.

Peter was right, Harry realized. If they weren’t ready to face the king after traveling his entire kingdom, then they never would be. 

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Together, almost perfectly side-by-side, they took their first steps into the castle. 

Another small star twinkled by the foot of a large marble pillar, the first of many that lined the hall that stretched into the foreseeable distance. Peter glanced at Harry, who nodded. He went over to the star and gave it a gentle tap with his finger. Silence.

_ So we don’t even get to say goodbye… _

It wasn’t as if they’d ever held a conversation with the mysterious voice of the Underground, but it was still incredibly bittersweet to think they might not get to hear it one last time. It had been there, commenting on their journey through each shining star, since the Ruins. 

They lingered around the star for a moment or two, vaguely hoping that the voice was merely on a delay, but it soon became apparent that it was not going to speak. With no choice but to relent, Peter and Harry left the star and continued down the grand hall. They passed dozens of identical marble columns, and between those columns were tall, picturesque windows all depicting the infamous royal crest.

Oddly, despite their location, it appeared as though soft, golden evening light was filtering through each window. They’d seen light in places it shouldn’t logically have been before — most notably back in the Ruins, when they’d encountered Flowey one final time — but here it didn’t seem as strange. It felt...appropriate. Whether impossible or not, it was undeniably real, as it cast hazy, dark outlines of them on the opposite wall as they walked. 

Peter suddenly squinted. There was another dark outline a further way down, right in the middle of the hall. This one didn’t look like a shadow. He nudged Harry.

“Harry,” he said quietly. “Do you see that?”

Harry looked down the hallway and saw the same figure Peter had. He stopped in his tracks and felt a familiar skip of his heart. 

“Uh-huh,” he whimpered. “B-But who…?” 

_ Could this be Asgore? _

They were still a decent distance away from the person, but from what they could tell, they weren’t very tall. They were actually rather short; shorter than even Peter. They were squat, too, and the shape of their silhouette was rounded. They didn’t look at all like the way the king had been described to them. In fact, the closer they got, the more it began to look like...

" _ Sans? _ " Peter breathed. 

Somewhere, a bell tolled loudly. The sound was so clear and raw that it reverberated around the hall and rang in their ears far after it ceased.

"So, you finally made it.” The voice was low but unmistakable. The figure stepped fully into the light, revealing itself to be none other than their stocky skeleton friend. There was only a short distance between them, now, perhaps ten feet or less, and the boys could clearly see his face. It looked very calm. His ever-present grin was still there, but it wasn’t quite as animated as usual. It was...serene. Undisturbed, like the placid surface of a lake. 

"The end of your journey is at hand,” said Sans in that same low, even tone, hands resting easily in his hoodie’s pockets. “In a few moments, you will meet the king. Together...you will determine the future of this world.” 

Peter and Harry stared at Sans with slightly mystified expressions. Whatever they had expected to see right before their encounter with Asgore, Sans was not it. They were certainly glad to see him, considering all they’d been through with the funny little skeleton; it wasn’t that his presence was off-putting. It was just...so strange. Sans had never given any indication that he was affiliated with the king. Papyrus being a Royal Guard trainee was about the only link they could think of offhand. So, then...what was he doing here? 

He seemed very content to be there, like he was exactly where he was supposed to be. Clearly, Sans wasn’t the one out of his element. They were.

“Sans,” Peter said again, finally having found his voice again after the initial shock had dispersed. “It’s...it’s good to see you, buddy. But, if you don’t mind me asking...what’s going on?” His brows knit together in genuine confusion, and he was vaguely aware of his eyes doing that lost puppy thing. 

Sans chuckled softly, though not unkindly. He rolled his bony neck.

"Like I said, you’re about to meet the king. Past this next doorway is the throne room. Asgore will be waiting for you there.” He closed his eye sockets. “But that's then. Now...you will be judged." 

That was enough to jolt them both to hyper-attention. The dreamlike haze that had settled over them while wandering through the lavish hall evaporated, leaving both Peter and Harry to stare at Sans anew, dumbfounded.

"J-Judged?" Harry asked in a tiny voice. 

_ What is that supposed to mean!? _

“I don’t think we follow,” said Peter cautiously. The weird nervous feeling he’d briefly felt during their time together at Mettaton’s restaurant -- when they’d learned the reason behind why Sans seemed to be watching over them everywhere they went -- returned. It fluttered in his stomach like distressed birds. 

Peter wasn’t afraid of Sans, but he  _ was  _ certain that there was more to the short, friendly skeleton than met the eye. He wasn’t someone to be trifled with. Their friend didn’t appear to be threatening them now (Peter’s spider sense hadn’t said a peep), but his words still gave them both a great feeling of anxiety. How could they not? Being told you were going to be “judged”, even by a close friend, would probably give anyone the willies. 

"You will be judged for your every action," Sans continued. His voice didn’t waver. It was still as calm as when he’d first started speaking. "You will be judged for every EXP you've earned during your time here." 

Peter shook his head slowly, still uncomprehending.

“What...what is ‘EXP’?” he asked helplessly. All Peter had ever heard about EXP was in the video game sense. ‘Experience points,’ a number value that determined when a fictional avatar would level up. He felt like he was waiting for a punchline, for Sans to suddenly snap out of his somber mood and go “ _ Gotcha!” _ like he had several times before, but it never came. 

"It's an acronym. It stands for 'execution points',” Sans replied. “A way of quantifying the pain you have inflicted on others. When you kill someone, your EXP increases. When you have enough EXP, your LOVE increases.” 

“E... _ Execution? _ ” Harry whispered. His legs trembled briefly, head starting to swim, and he had to catch himself before he collapsed on the spot where he stood. Luckily, Peter was there to help steady him with a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks,” he murmured, pressing a hand to his forehead. The dizziness soon cleared, but it left in its wake a dry mouth and a growing sense of dread. Just the word  _ execution  _ had been enough to unsettle him, but coupled with the faintest idea that they could have  _ ever  _ gained such a thing, it was all just becoming too much. 

“This is all very confusing,” Peter admitted, wringing his hands. “Please, Sans...we’re trying to understand. What does that  _ mean?  _ What is ‘LOVE’?” A tiny, internet-conditioned part of his brain geared up to supply the obvious answer, but Peter shut it down quick.

_ Not the time. _

Sans took a slow breath in, a slow breath out. Unhurried. Unbothered.

“LOVE, too, is an acronym. It stands for 'Level of Violence'. A way of measuring someone's capacity to hurt. The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others."

Sans’s words hung there in the air as both parties continued to face one another in silence. Snippets of images ran through the boys’ heads, somehow incredibly fast but in slow motion at the same time. Their entire journey, from the Ruins to the castle, every monster they’d met, every exchange they’d had, every choice they’d made. Through it all, they’d kept Toriel’s parting plea in their hearts:  _ Please, be good.  _

A sudden wave of peace came over them, and they allowed their bodies to relax.

If they had to face their actions now, they would face them with no regrets. They had done everything they’d felt they had to do, made every decision they’d believed to be the right one. There was no other way they would have done it. All that was left to do was wait and see if their choices had, indeed, been correct.

The silence grew to a stifling level. It was almost too much to bear. They wondered if, perhaps, they’d stay there forever, frozen in time and left to consider everything they’d gone through.

Finally, though, Sans’s eyes opened. Just as he had so many times over the course of their adventure, he regarded them with a warm, fond smile. The change was visible, like a patch of snow melting to make way for the flowers underneath.

"...But, you...you never gained any LOVE,” the skeleton said, the corners of his eye sockets crinkling merrily. “Not a single bit.”

Peter and Harry let out the breaths they hadn’t known they were holding.

“'Course, that doesn't mean you're completely innocent or naive,” Sans continued with a wink. “Just that you kept a certain tenderness in your hearts. No matter the struggles or hardships you faced...you strived to do the right thing. You refused to hurt anyone. Even when you ran away, you did it with a smile. You never gained LOVE, but you gained  _ love _ . Does that make sense?" 

Peter felt like laughing as all the bottled-up tension accumulating in his stomach was sucked away. So he did, bending over slightly and shaking his head. 

"Yeah," he said through the dregs of his relieved laughter. "Yeah, I think it does.” He brushed a hand through his hair and shot their friend with a playful smirk. “You know, you really had us worried, Sans. I seriously thought we were about to get flattened or something.”

Sans chuckled, and he sounded very much like himself. “Ah...don’t you know me by now, bud? I’m rootin’ for you, kids. I never had a doubt.” He regarded them kindly, then put his hands in his pockets. His expression changed slightly, becoming just a tad serious again. “...Now. You're about to face the greatest challenge of your entire journey. Your actions here...will determine the fate of the entire world. I’m sure you know that by now.” 

“I think we’ve been told that at least five times in the last hour,” Harry said with a little laugh that belied the sheer weight of the thought on his shoulders. Sans nodded sagely.

“The way I see it, you have two choices. If you refuse to fight...Asgore will take your souls and destroy humanity. But if you kill Asgore and go home, monsters will remain trapped Underground.” He tilted his head. “What will you do?" 

Peter and Harry fell silent for a while. That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? Both knew they could never bring themselves to kill Asgore; it wasn’t even in the realm of possibility. But...they also knew they couldn't allow themselves to be killed. If they died, not only would humanity be obliterated, but they would fail on their promise of peacefully breaking the Barrier. 

No, death wasn’t an option. They would just have to find some third, unseen choice. 

“We don’t know,” Peter admitted at last. His eyes went firm. “But some way, somehow...we’re going to find a way to help everyone. I know it.” 

Again, the skeleton nodded. "Well, if I were you, I would have thrown in the towel by now," Sans confessed. "But you didn't get this far by giving up, did you?” His grin quirked up at the edges. “That's right. You have something called  _ 'determination' _ ." 

A jolt of recognition passed through them like a static shock.  _ Determination.  _

That was what they’d been hearing all throughout the Underground:  _ It fills you with determination.  _ The voice...

Sans took another breath. "So, as long as you hold on...so long as you do what's in your heart...I believe you can do the right thing.” Sans looked down for a moment, then back up at Peter and Harry. In his eyes was such a raw, genuine hope that it almost seemed palpable. "Alright. We're all counting on you, kids. Good luck." 

"Thank you, Sans," Peter said as sudden emotion welled up in his chest. He quickly dabbed at his eyes with a knuckle and smiled. "Everything you've done for us, all this time...and, for believing in us...thank you." 

"We’d be dead without you,” Harry added, offering a grateful smile of his own. “Literally. Thanks for looking out for us.”

Sans just nodded and closed his eyes, his own smile soft. Without another word, he stepped aside, opening up the way into the throne room beyond.

Sharing a look filled with -- aptly -- determination, the boys began the short walk to the end of the corridor. When they reached the doorway, they turned around to cast one last glance at their dear friend, but to their surprise, he was gone. All that remained was the empty golden hall. 

After a moment of lingering shock, they shrugged and faced the doorway again. After all, it wasn’t really anything new; they were used to Sans and his little quirks by then. 

There were no words exchanged before continuing on this time. All that was shared were two deep, deep breaths, and a quick nod to one another. Then, they were crossing the threshold to the king’s throne room. It was time to end this,  _ peacefully _ , one way or another. 


	58. Dreemurr's Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry finally, finally meet the Mountain King (after first discovering a rather disturbing thing in the cellar). They do their best to get him to listen to their ideas, but it seems Asgore cannot be swayed, What are two pacifists to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me sO many hours, but man, it's one of my favorites. I'm really, really proud of how it turned out. It's a little long, but hopefully that's okay :) Also Asgore deserves the world and deserves to be forgiven. That's my PAPA.

Beyond the doorway Sans had been guarding was not the throne room. Not immediately, anyway; instead, there was one last room, an entryway of sorts, just as gray as everything before the large corridor had been. A few paces away was another, smaller entrance, and a plaque outside read "Throne Room". 

“Oh, my God, another one? It feels like we’re never  _ actually  _ gonna get there,” Harry sighed in a slightly exasperated way as they looked around the space. Not a single king was in sight. “There’s always, like, another area  _ right _ before it.” He shook his head. “This place has too many rooms.” 

“It is starting to feel like that,” Peter chuckled. “But, look.” He pointed to the plaque. “I don’t think that plaque is lying. That next room is most definitely the one we’re looking for.”

“It better be,” Harry huffed. “I can’t keep hyping myself up every time we step through a door. It’s getting exhausting.” 

“You’ll only have to do it one more time,” Peter assured him, taking a few steps toward the  _ final _ final door. “Once we go through here, we’ll be-” As he spoke, his eyes happened to drift off to the right idly, and he ended up suddenly stopping short at what he saw. Harry noticed Peter’s surprised look and tilted his head.

“Uh, Pete? Something wrong?”

“There’s another staircase down there.” Peter nodded ahead, where there was indeed another set of stairs leading down to, presumably, some kind of cellar. “And a star, too!” Pivoting away from the throne room, Peter swiftly approached the end of the room and leaned down to touch the star. As was expected now, the voice was quiet. He straightened back up and turned to Harry, beckoning for him to follow.

Harry bit his nails, looking back and forth between his friend and the door before reluctantly heading over. “What’re you doing?” he whispered nervously. “I thought we were supposed to meet the king! I don’t think we should keep him waiting…” He glanced back over his shoulder again, half worried that Asgore would appear in the doorway.

“We will,” Peter promised. “I just...I just wanna see what’s down here, first.”

“Isn’t that snooping?”

“No! I mean…” Peter smiled sheepishly. “Kinda. Maybe. Okay, yeah. But it’s not like we haven’t already seen the guy’s whole house!” he protested. “What if there’s something important down there? What if it holds the key to figuring out how to get past Asgore?” He clasped his hands and looked at Harry pleadingly. 

Harry remained firm, his arms crossed and brow furrowed, for about ten seconds. Then he sighed, slumping his shoulders. There was no way he’d win that staring competition. 

“ _ Fine,”  _ he said. “But Peter, I swear to God, if we get caught,  _ you’re  _ gonna have to explain why we were snooping around the king’s castle.”

“We won’t get caught! We’ll be  _ fiiiine _ ,” Peter said, waving a hand and grinning. “Come on! We’ll be quick.” 

He spun around and practically raced down the stairs, making sure to keep his footsteps light so as not to make a racket. Harry followed much more slowly, shaking his head as he did. The things he agreed to please his friend...

At the foot of the stairs was another room, about the size of Asgore’s kitchen, or perhaps even smaller. It was drab and gray just like the entryway, but there were a few splashes of color spaced out throughout the room. Disturbingly, those splashes of color came in the form of small, bright hearts — one for nearly every shade of the rainbow — emblazoned on the grim stone covers of seven coffins. 

The sight was so startling that they nearly choked on their own sharp, hurried intake of breath.

“Oh...my God,” said Harry.

Peter tried to speak, but all he could manage was to continue shaking his head in denial of what he saw before him. Out of everything that could have been in the cellar of such a grand, beautiful castle...the cellar of someone they would have to meet in the next several minutes…it had to be a line of coffins.

“Is this...them?” Harry asked in a barely audible whimper after they’d stood there in silence for a while. Peter looked at him questioningly, and he elaborated, “Th-The others. The other humans. Toriel said there were more…”

Peter’s fingers flexed unconsciously. Wincing, he took another look over the row of silent stone boxes. In his head, he began to count.

_ One...two...three...four...five… _

Five. That was the number of human souls Undyne had said Asgore had already collected.

_ Six...seven. _

Peter swallowed. His throat was painfully dry. 

_ Seven.  _ That number had been burned into their minds almost since the beginning. With seven souls, Asgore would finally have enough to break the Barrier. 

Peter may have been somewhat of a math whiz, but he certainly didn’t have to be to know that five plus two made seven.

Slowly, mechanically, almost against his will, Peter approached the first casket. The heart symbol on top of the cover was a bright and bold scarlet, seeming somehow to shine even in the dim light of the cramped room. Upon getting closer, he was able to make out that some kind of writing was etched beneath the heart, but he couldn’t yet see what it said. He frowned and moved a little nearer, until he was hovering just an inch or so away from the thing. He leaned over the coffin and squinted down at the etched writing, tightening his core and wobbling slightly back and forth as he held himself steady. He didn’t want to touch it. 

“What’s it say?” whispered Harry. He almost didn’t want to know, but he asked anyway, holding his hands up to his chest in a tight ball and leaning as far back from the coffins as possible.

Maintaining his odd, slightly uncomfortable position, Peter was finally able to read the inscription. 

The moment he registered what it said, his eyes flew wide open in horror. A soundless howl escaped his mouth, and he toppled over backwards with a loud  _ thump,  _ immediately crab-walking his way back from the coffin as soon as he hit the ground.

Harry couldn’t keep from yelping as his friend scuttled backwards toward the wall. “Pete?! What, what is it?” he asked, voice bordering on hysterical. “What’s wrong, what’d you see?” 

Peter could only point toward the coffin, his arm shaking slightly as he shook his head. Seeing his friend so disturbed only served to send Harry’s own heartbeat racing. Trembling, he turned toward the tomb that had elicited such a visceral reaction from Peter. Against his own judgement, he began to approach it.

When Harry saw what was written there on the cold, stone lid below the red heart, it immediately became clear to him what had spooked Peter so bad. 

The writing on the casket was just one, single word, five letters long. A name. 

_ Peter _ .

“No,” he whimpered. “No. This doesn’t- I...I don’t understand…” His eyes flicked to the next coffin, upon which a pink heart was emblazoned. He was close enough to be able to get a glimpse at the inscription on that coffin, too, and the name  _ Harry  _ staring back at him sent his pulse through the roof. 

Harry staggered back. The room was spinning. His back abruptly hit the cold stone wall of the cellar, and he slid down beside Peter on the cellar floor. Together, both boys stared in uncomprehending horror at what could only be the ominous harbingers of their own demise.

“How does he know?” Peter whispered, unable to tear his eyes away. “How did he know our  _ names? _ ” He shook his head rapidly. Nothing about this made sense. Asgore couldn’t have any idea who they were, it was...it was impossible! The only way he could possibly think of that the king could’ve been notified of their names was through Papyrus, Sans, or Undyne. But Papyrus and Undyne had never called them by their proper names -- it was always some form of ‘human’ or ‘humans’. 

And as for Sans...it just didn’t seem likely. He may have been their final encounter before the king, but he’d also been watching out for them the entire time they’d been down under the mountain. No. Peter didn’t believe Sans had told Asgore anything. 

But the question remained:  _ why were there two coffins with their names on it in the king’s freaking basement? _

After several minutes spent in terrified, confused silence, Peter made the conscious decision to take his current feelings and lock them away in a mental box. It was difficult, and it took quite a bit of pushing, but eventually he was able to snap himself out of his mini-stupor and take a few deep breaths.

Was the presence of the seven caskets disturbing? 

Yes.

Was it extra troubling that two of them had  _ their  _ names on them?

Yes.

But none of that changed the fact that they still had to face the king. And no matter what the eventual outcome would be, they wouldn’t get any closer to finding out if they stayed there cowering in that cellar.

When he’d calmed himself decently, Peter turned to Harry and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Harry. Look at me, buddy.”

Harry whimpered again and shifted his wide-eyed gaze to Peter. His pupils were so small they looked like pinpricks in the center of irises.

“This doesn’t mean anything,” Peter said, gently but firmly. 

“B-B-But they-” Harry swallowed and shook his head. “They have our  _ names _ -”

“I know. I know. But that doesn’t mean a thing, alright? Objects can’t predict the future. I don’t care how bad of an omen this looks like; I’ve talked to Doc Strange enough to know that not everything that looks like a sign  _ is  _ a sign.” He leaned in closer, and there was the same determined light in his eyes that had been there up in the grand hall. “Those things are empty, and they’re gonna stay empty, because we’re not going to die. We’re gonna go up there, talk to the king, and get back to the Surface. That’s what’s going to happen. You gotta believe me, Har.”

Harry sniffled, and he wiped his eyes on his sweater sleeve. A small part at the back of his brain registered that he’d probably have to dry-clean the thing for a whole day just to get the odd stains and smells out. 

“I...I don’t want to die,” he said quietly, helplessly. Peter’s grip on his shoulder became firmer.

“We’re not going to die. Please, you gotta trust me on this.” His eyes were insistent. “Trust me.”

Harry was quiet for a moment. All that they’d seen and experienced in the short time since exiting that elevator, and even before that, had taken a clear and undeniable toll on him. On them both. 

But...he remembered feeling strong, back in that golden hallway. He remembered feeling, if only for a brief time, truly determined. Sans had believed in them, and they had believed in themselves. Who was to say they had to lose all that now, just because of a couple of creepy caskets?

Harry wiped his eyes again and tilted his head back to sigh quietly. Then, he pushed himself to his feet with a groan, using the wall as support. Peter stood beside him, a real, delighted smile on his face.

“That’s it, pal. That’s all there is to it,” he said. “We’re almost there. We just have to keep going a little longer.”

Harry gave a small nod. 

“I hope you’re right,” he said once he felt steady enough to let go of the wall. “For our sake, and the sake of everyone above and below the mountain, I hope you’re right, Pete.”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” He briefly clasped Harry’s hand in his own. “We’re gonna make it.”

The faintest half-smile appeared on Harry’s features.

“Alright, then. Let’s go see Asgore. For real, this time.” He smirked now, and Peter chuckled. 

Without sparing another glance for the long row of graves, Peter and Harry ascended the staircase and made their way to the door labeled ‘Throne Room’. They paused before it, gathering their wits one final time before such a pivotal part of their journey. There was a faint, cool breeze wafting out from inside the throne room, which was at once pleasing and puzzling. 

After a final deep, cleansing breath, Peter and Harry met eyes.

"Alright...here we go.”

Together, they stepped into the throne room, and the inside of it immediately took their breath away. 

“Ohh, wow...”

It was nothing like they ever could have imagined. Like the grand hall leading up to it, the throne room was completely doused in a veil golden light. Another large picture window at the far end of the room, depicting the deltarune, allowed apparent sunlight to filter through despite their depth below ground. All along the stone walls, ivy grew and twisted through the cracks. Instead of marble or plush carpet, the floor of the room was completely covered in greenery and dotted with little purple and white buds. In the very center, surrounding a high-backed throne, was a large ring of the same golden flowers they’d seen decorating the various rooms of Asgore’s house. 

The entire room just gave off the feeling of effortless, natural grace. They could even hear birdsong faintly from somewhere up above. 

"It's beautiful," Harry whispered. 

Peter closed his eyes and took a deep breath in through his nose, savoring the feeling of simply existing within this room. The air here even felt  _ cleaner,  _ less stifled. It was truly incredible. It was even enough to dull the nerves tingling throughout his body, if only slightly.

After opening his eyes, they finally alighted on a large figure off near the center of the garden. Neither boy had noticed it at first, as they were too caught up in the splendor around them, but now that they’d returned to the task at hand, it was impossible to miss the other person with them in the throne room.

They stiffened, but then forced themselves to relax. The two shared another look, and their eyes held the same determination. 

Right. This was it, really and truly. They were past the point of no return. 

With slow, deliberate steps, and being careful not to step on any flowers, Peter and Harry approached who they knew to be Asgore Dreemurr. The throne room stretched back a decent length, so it took several seconds for them to get close enough to make him out fully. 

The king had his back turned to them. He appeared to be bent over slightly, a mane of golden hair visible over part of the sweeping purple cloak he wore wrapped around him. Two golden shoulder pads peeked out from beneath, shining brilliantly in the evening light. From the top of his head curled a magnificent set of horns, the points of which currently faced toward Peter and Harry. Even from behind, he gave off an aura that was undeniably regal. 

When they’d gotten within ten paces, they could hear him humming quietly to himself. "Dum dee dum…there you go, little flowers. Nice and happy...”

Suddenly, the king stopped humming and cocked his head slightly to one side. Peter and Harry held their breath. Harry instinctively sought out his friend’s hand with his own, and Peter squeezed it reassuringly.

”Oh? Is someone there?” Asgore asked. His voice was deep and rumbling, like thunder that was still a far way off. “Just a moment! I have almost finished watering these flowers." 

The boys remained silent as the king moved a previously unseen watering can over the last few flowers next to his feet, sprinkling them with a light dusting of droplets. Once they’d all been watered to his content, he set the can down and brushed his hands off with satisfaction. “Here we are! Now...”

At last, Asgore turned around, allowing Peter and Harry their first true look at the Mountain King. 

The very first thing that struck them was just how  _ much  _ he reminded them of Toriel. He had the same fuzzy white face; the same long, dangling ears; the same genuine, kind smile. The two main differences were the thick, bushy golden beard that looped around to become a mustache above his lip, and the small bejeweled crown that perched neatly between his horns. A small, solid gold clasp in the shape of the deltarune held his purple cloak shut at his neck. 

Peter and Harry had never seen a king in person before. Looking at Asgore now, though, they were already certain that no one could look more like a king than him. It was all they could do not to gasp at his very stately, very Toriel-y appearance.

"Howdy!” the man said pleasantly, bringing one white, clawed hand up in enthusiastic greeting. “How can I..." 

The moment he registered who it was that stood in front of him, Asgore’s face fell like a ton of bricks. All traces of cheer had just...vanished, and in its place was a look of pure anguish. His eyes gained a certain stark, sad hopelessness that looked very out of place amongst his many laughter lines.

“Oh." 

The three of them stood in the center of the throne room, staring at one another, for what felt like a very long time. Neither party seemed to want to be the one to make the first move. 

Asgore’s hands met by the center of his chest and were nervously circling one another. With everything running through their minds, they could only imagine what was going through his. 

When the staring contest had stretched from a few seconds to nearly a minute, Asgore shifted his gaze from them to some random point off to the side, as if unable to continue meeting their eyes. His larger-than-life stature seemed to shrink and fold in on itself. He gave a low sigh.

"...I so badly want to say, 'would you like a cup of tea?'” he murmured. “But you know how it is."

Peter swallowed a few times to get rid of the pervasive dryness that plagued his throat. Shifting from foot to foot, he said, “Uh, M-Mr. Dreemurr, sir...it’s...it’s nice to finally meet you. We’ve heard a lot about you, heh.” He chuckled, strained though it was. When Asgore didn’t respond, Peter scratched the back of his neck and forged ahead. “And we’ve, uh-” His voice broke, but he coughed and kept going. “We’ve come a long way to...to talk with you, sir. About something pretty important.” 

He scuffed his foot through the lush green grass, taking particular notice of how it parted around his shoe like water. Faintly, he realized it was a bit strange that he could pay attention to something so small and inconsequential when they were smack in the middle of the most important part of their journey, but it didn’t register enough for him to actively notice the thought.

Just as Peter and Harry were beginning to think that the king had elected to completely ignore their request, Asgore gave another sigh — a far longer, deeper one that came from the hollow of his chest — and nodded. He still kept his focus off in the distance even as he next spoke.

“Oh, yes,” he rumbled as he idly ran one massive paw along the satin fabric of his cloak. “I am sure that you did. A very, very long way indeed.” 

He turned away from them fully and slowly walked to the edge of the golden patch of flowers, which all swayed gently as if to their own imperceptible rhythm. He looked up at the ceiling, a glass dome that allowed the closest view to the ceiling of the cavern, then did a once-over look of the entire throne room. 

“Nice day today, huh?” he said. “Birds are singing, flowers are blooming… Perfect weather for a game of catch." 

Finally, Asgore looked back at Peter and Harry. The two boys had been quietly watching and waiting, and when he addressed them personally they quickly stood up a little straighter. The effect that he had was one that garnered complete respect, even despite the clear and palpable cloud of sadness that hung over him. 

“You know,” he continued, and the ghost of a smile briefly crossed his features, “this is the sort of day that my whole family would be outside. I used to love to play catch with my boys. They played with each other, too, making up their own games when I grew too tired to keep tossing the ball. Then my wife and I would garden, and watch them from the shade of that tree.” He nodded toward a huge oak in the far corner of the room. It had grown so tall that the very top of its branches just scraped the domed ceiling. 

Harry whistled as he eyed the mighty oak, leaning back to try and get a look at just how far up it went. 

“You have a beautiful garden,” he said. His tone had an air of caution to it, as Peter’s had when first addressing the king, but it was also much calmer than he’d expected. Something about Asgore — especially the way he’d just shared such a personal anecdote — made it feel easy to converse with him. At the very least, Harry felt less anxious now that they’d begun conversing than he had when they’d first approached him. 

Peter nodded in agreement, taking another look around at the immaculately groomed flowers that surrounded them. The passion and effort that had been put into maintaining everything was evident. “It really is something,” he said with a smile. “It’s a privilege to get to see it.” 

Asgore’s faint smile widened just a bit. He dipped his head. “Thank you. That is very kind of you to say.”

They lapsed into another short silence, but this one was easier than the others. Less tense. As the three of them stood in the garden and drank in the atmosphere, things felt just a little less hopeless. 

Peter, for one, was actually feeling very optimistic. It seemed that everything Papyrus and the others had said was true; Asgore was not a harsh, intimidating man. He’d been nothing but pleasant the entirety of the short time they’d known him, if a little quiet and sad. Now that they’d gotten Asgore talking, gotten him to show a peek of a smile, he had good reason to believe that they would be able to lead into their main topic of discussion soon. 

And he believed, with all of his heart, that this man — who loved to garden, who spoke so politely, who clearly missed his family more than anything else — would let them go. Once they explained what they were going to do, he would no doubt allow them to return to the Surface. 

Toriel was wrong. He wouldn’t kill them. She’d been angry, and hurt, and she’d had every right to be. She’d wanted to protect them. That was why she’d said the things she’d said. But being there now, in the presence of the man she’d swore would destroy them without a second though, it just didn’t seem like Asgore was the type to lay a finger on anyone. 

_ What about the coffins?  _ a voice prodded at the back of his mind. Peter shook his head. There had to be some other explanation. Undyne had said that the Royal Guard had captured all the humans who’d fallen down; it wasn’t hard to believe that they’d been the ones to put the bodies in the stone caskets. He just  _ couldn’t  _ believe that the kindly old goat man, with his pretty flowers and nostalgic waxing, could be directly responsible for anyone’s death. 

That was enough ruminating. It was time for the Big Question. Peter took a deep breath.

“Um, Mr. Dreemurr-”

“Please, call me Asgore.”

“O-Oh! Asgore, okay. Thank you.” Peter cleared his throat and took a tentative step closer to the monster. “Um, about that thing we wanted to ask you…”

At the mention of their reason for having come, Asgore’s mood changed like the weather. The corners of his mouth turned downward, and a dark shadow passed over his face. Seeing this, both Peter and Harry felt some of their previous apprehension creep back up on them.

“S-Sir?” Peter stammered. 

“Yes,” Asgore said quietly. He’d turned aside again, avoiding their eyes. “I know why you’re here. And I am sorry.”

“O-Oh! You do? Well, that makes it-” Peter stopped as he registered the last thing the king had said. “Uh...s-sorry?” he asked, voice wavering lightly. “What for?”

Asgore briefly lowered his head and closed his eyes. He looked greatly pained. “I am sorry that it must come down to this.”

“Whoa, wh-whoa,” Harry said, shaking his head. He could feel some vestiges of the cold, numb fear he’d felt down in the cellar worming its way back into his heart. “What do you mean? Mr. Dre- Asgore, w-we’re not here to fight you. That’s the last thing we wanna do.” He stepped up beside Peter, and they looked at Asgore with matching wide, imploring eyes.

A great shudder ran through Asgore’s bulky frame for just a second, so fast it was almost unnoticeable. “It is the last thing I want, as well. But you know what we must do.” Breathing deeply through his nose, the goat man turned to the far end of the room and took a few steps forward. With his back turned, he murmured, "When you are ready, come into the next room." 

Peter and Harry met eyes and saw the same panic in each other’s faces. 

“Wait! Asgore, wait!” Peter shouted, but Asgore was already taking slow, measured strides across the garden floor of the throne room. Within moments, he’d vanished through the doorway at the opposite end. 

Peter’s heart began to speed up. This was not how this was supposed to go. 

_ We haven’t even explained anything yet!  _ Peter thought desperately.  _ Won’t he even listen to us?! _

“Pete...what do we do?” Harry whispered. He looked at his friend with such genuine uncertainty and fear that a lump formed in Peter’s throat. Forcing himself to swallow it, Peter sucked on his lower lip before replying, “We gotta follow him and make him listen. He needs to at  _ least  _ hear us out.” He shook his head rapidly. “He  _ has  _ to listen. We’re not letting it end this way. Come on.”

He raced off across the garden, following the path of lightly flattened grass that Asgore had left in his wake. Harry hovered in the center of the patch of flowers for a few seconds, shifting his weight back and forth and doing his best to force down the rising panic in his chest. 

_ It’s fine, it’s fine,  _ he silently repeated like a mantra.  _ It’s fine. We’ll explain. He’ll listen. It’s not over. _

It took several moments for Harry to notice that Peter had nearly reached the door. When he finally did, he quickly pulled himself out of his feverish swirl of thoughts and hurried to catch up. As he bounded over the grass and flowers, still being careful not to trod on any blooms even in his current state, he caught sight of a bulky shape covered by a white tarp in the right-hand corner of the room. With a twinge of his heart, he realized that it must be Toriel’s vacant throne. 

_ Asgore must not have been able to bear sitting next to an empty throne… _

He was so caught up in this thought that he just about bumped into Peter. His friend had paused before the doorway to touch the twinkling star beside it. Swerving at the last second, Harry managed to avoid colliding with Peter’s back and came to a stop beside him, gazing into the darkness of the room beyond. There was enough light streaming in from the throne room to be able to see a few feet inside; he could make out the shape of Asgore just beyond.

“No voice?” Harry asked in a low voice, though he already knew the answer. Peter shook his head.

“No.” He sighed. “We sure could use some cryptic advice right about now.”

Peter looked into the next room and rolled his shoulders back. As soon as they stepped through that door, he knew, they’d have to make their case. They’d have to make it quick, too. Asgore seemed to want nothing more than to get things over with. But what would that entail, exactly? He thought about what the king had said:

_ ‘You know what we must do…’ _

Peter gulped. That didn’t bode well. The finality of it was hard to miss. Still, Peter didn’t want to believe that Asgore would hurt them. He desperately hoped that this wasn’t what it seemed, that this monster wasn’t leading them to what he believed would be their death. Peter felt that he was a fairly good judge of character, and Asgore seemed too kind a soul to do something so heinous. But...there was no sure way to know.

“We’d better go meet him,” Peter said. “Don’t wanna keep the king waiting.”

“Yeah,” said Harry. He was fully aware of how breathy, how unstable his voice sounded. He hated it.

There was nothing to do but press forward, though, so in they went. The closer they got, the more their eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. They could see that the goat man had his head down again, and his lips were moving silently, as if he were reciting something to himself. Asgore looked up when they approached.

"How tense," he mused upon seeing their stiff movements and hesitant faces. "Just think of it like...a visit to the dentist."

Peter and Harry immediately grimaced. The mental image of sitting strapped to a chair while someone did a root canal on their literal souls was incredibly unappealing. Asgore must have noticed their adverse reactions, because he knitted his eyebrows together and lifted one half of his mouth in a semblance of an apologetic smile.

“I am sorry,” he said. “Perhaps I should not have said anything.”

Pushing aside the disgust that had been instilled in him by the gruesome comparison, Peter carefully took a few steps toward Asgore with his hands out and palm-up. 

“Asgore. You’re a good man. I see it in your eyes. I know you don’t want to do this. Please, if you let us just talk to you for five minutes, I think we can offer a better solution.”

The king sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging with the movement of his chest. 

“I’m...sorry. I am afraid there is no other way. I do not want to harm you, humans, but for my people…” For just a moment, hardened determination flashed in his rosy eyes. “I will do what I must.”

“B-But don’t you even wanna hear what we have to say?” Harry blurted. “W-We have a plan!”

Asgore’s face contorted. He looked nearly on the verge of tears. “Please, do not make this more difficult than it already is.” 

“Just  _ listen,  _ will you?” Peter pleaded, somewhat surprised by the force behind his own words. He began to pace back and forth in front of Asgore, clasping his hands behind his back and focusing on his feet as he spoke. “We figured out a way to break the Barrier without  _ anyone  _ having to die. See, if Har and I cross the Barrier now, and we get back to the Surface, then we can gather enough people to equate to seven human souls!” He paused and touched the tip of his finger to his cheek in thought. “Now, it might take a little while,” he admitted, “since we’d have to tell everyone about your guys’ existence...but once we do, I have no doubt that we could get a bunch of people to help us out.” Peter stopped pacing and looked back up at Asgore with painfully hopeful eyes. 

That hope dissipated when he saw that Asgore’s mournful expression had not changed. The king frowned and shook his mighty head, his ears and golden mane swishing back and forth with the motion.

“No. That would be...impossible.”

“But why?” Harry asked. He was aware that it came out as more of a whine then a question, but he didn’t much care at the moment. “ _ Why not?  _ We’re not lying, if that’s what you think! Listen, we- we made a lot of friends down here.” He clasped his hands. “We’re not gonna just abandon them. We made them a promise! All of them.” 

“We made a promise to  _ her _ .” The words had come out before Peter had time to even think about whether he should say them or not. The effect it had on Asgore was instantaneous, though: all at once, his posture stiffened and his eyes locked onto Peter’s. Peter gulped lightly.

“...Her?” he said quietly. It was barely a whisper. Timidly, Peter nodded. There was no taking it back now.

“T-Toriel, sir. We...we promised her, too.”

For several frightening moments, Peter and Harry thought the king might lash out and kill them right then. Bringing up his estranged wife, their surrogate mother, may have touched a nerve that would push even the sad, kindly Asgore to fury. But all Asgore did was sigh again.

“Ah,” he murmured. “Of course. You must have come from the Ruins. That’s where they all come from. They all come...from her.” He looked down at his feet, which were hidden by his long purple cloak. The fabric rippled slightly as he shifted his stance underneath it.

Peter bit his lip. After debating for a second or two, he approached Asgore, getting so close to him that he was able to lay his hand gingerly on his arm. 

“She’s the reason we’re here now,” he said softly. “She saved our lives. And like my buddy here said, we made a promise to her...and to all the monsters we’ve met...that we would find a way to get everyone out of here. We mean to keep that promise. You can help us do that, Asgore. You can help us. You can save your people just like you’ve always wanted to. We just need to get across the Barrier. If you think I’m lying, look at my eyes.” He looked earnestly into the king’s face, blue eyes wide and vulnerable. Asgore glanced down at him, but he looked away after only a moment, almost like he couldn’t handle such raw intensity. He stepped forward, away from Peter’s touch.

“I wish, more than anything,” he began slowly, “that what you say was possible. I do not doubt your intentions. But there is no way to accomplish such a feat.” Another small sigh escaped him. “A human soul is not enough to cross the Barrier. Even with your souls combined, you would need to add the power of a monster soul.” He looked over his shoulder with a grave expression. “Only one of us will have our way. Whatever happens, someone must die.”

The sinking feeling in Peter’s gut reached all the way to his toes as Asgore delivered his final verdict. They’d known since before getting on the elevator to the Capitol that it would take a power equivalent to a monster soul alongside their own souls to cross the Barrier, but deep down they’d been hoping that there would be some way around that. A loophole, or something. Having it confirmed by the king himself was a devastating blow.

“But...that’s not fair,” Peter squeaked. He vigorously shook his head, bringing his hands up to his temples. He could feel a tension headache forming. “N-No...no. I can’t believe that! There  _ has  _ to be some other way! A...A special device, maybe! You guys have some pretty advanced tech! W-What if you asked Dr. Alphys to make something that would act like a monster soul? Would that work?” He was desperate now, reaching for something,  _ anything  _ that would save them from the inevitable. 

Asgore simply shook his head. 

“There is no other way. It seems we have been fated to fight, and for that, I am truly sorry.” With another hefty sigh, Asgore walked across the room to another, open entryway. He paused before it and turned back to the boys, who were so dumbstruck that they could only stand and stare. 

"Are you ready?” Asgore asked them. “If you are not, I understand. I am not ready either." 

Peter and Harry were not ready. After all they’d done, everything they’d been through, everybody that they’d befriended and promised to help...they’d hit a dead end. If what Asgore had said was true, then they had no choice. They would have to face Asgore in combat. 

_ We’re going to die.  _

Peter harshly swatted the rogue thought away. No. No, they weren’t going to die. So what if they couldn’t cross the Barrier yet? There had to be some other way that just hadn’t been discovered yet, there  _ had  _ to. He didn’t believe for a second that Alphys, as brilliant as she was, wouldn’t be able to come up with something eventually that would replicate the power needed to cross -- or, hell, maybe even break it.  _ They didn’t have to give up.  _

Peter turned to Harry, who’d begun shaking beyond his own volition. He put a steadying hand on his shoulder, and Harry met his eyes with one of the most terrified looks he’d ever seen on his face. 

In a hushed voice, Harry whimpered, “Peter... _ what are we gonna do? _ ” 

“We’re going to talk him down,” Peter said, calmly and matter-of-factly. 

“B-But we can’t!” Harry sputtered, tears beading at the corners of his eyes. “You saw! We  _ tried!  _ He- He said there’s no other way!”

“I don’t believe that,” said Peter. “There’s never just one solution to a tough problem. I think that, given enough time, Alphys and I could come up with something that might allow us to get by. But until then…” His lips pressed together in a thin line. “We’ll have to stay down here.”

Harry looked stricken, his face going completely ashen. The thought of staying Underground for days, months, years...however long it took to figure something out...was mind-boggling. There was no way their survival could be assured, unless the king granted them sanctuary or something of the like. And what would their families above think? They’d believe they were dead. They might eventually even move on without them. To be forgotten by the world, relegated to a missing persons case was one of Harry’s worst nightmares.

But...that was all that they could do. It was the only viable option. It was already a given that they were not going to kill Asgore; nothing, not even being able to return home, was worth taking a life. So, all that left them with was trying to find another way around the issue of the Barrier.

Despite the rising hopelessness in his chest, Harry nodded faintly. Peter was right. If this was what they had to do to ensure that every monster could one day go free without the use of violence, without any more unnecessary death or bloodshed...they would do it. 

“Okay, then.” Peter nodded as well. “We’re settled.”

“Yeah. But, Pete…” Harry bit his lip worriedly. “We still have to convince Asgore. He thinks that it’ll never work. I don’t th-think he’d let us stay here for months to work on a project he’s certain won’t even go anywhere, when the faster solution is clearly to...to kill us.” He whimpered again. “What if...I mean...how do we get past  _ that? _ ”

“Well…” Peter glanced off to the side, then back at Harry. “We try. And we don’t give up.”

It wasn’t a concrete answer, nor a completely foolproof one, but it was all they had. With nothing left to discuss, Peter and Harry turned to Asgore, who had respectfully allowed them their space. Together, they approached him with their heads held level.

"We're ready, Asgore," Peter said quietly. 

Asgore just nodded. He passed under the entryway to the room beyond, and Peter and Harry followed at a close distance. 

They didn’t quite know what to expect when other monsters had spoken to them of the Barrier. Peter had envisioned something like a great, tall, transparent piece of unbreakable material that stretched for miles and miles, encircling the entire mountain with its impassable nature. Harry had imagined something more like a simple force field, albeit one that was attuned specifically to anyone with monster genetics. 

As they could see now, the Barrier was neither of those things.

The space that they had entered with Asgore was pitch black. The only light source came from the piercing, almost blindingly white light that periodically raced across the unseeable walls. It pulsated every few seconds, sending another wave down toward one focal point in the distance, where it briefly illuminated the outline of a rectangle before disappearing. The length of the corridor was almost impossible to determine due to the physics-bending nature of what was occurring within.

“Oh, wow,” Peter whispered. 

"This is the Barrier. This is what keeps us all trapped Underground," Asgore intoned. It seemed as if he’d recited the same line many, many times before. He stood staring at the far-off point at the end of the room for several moments before facing Peter and Harry. The floating cloud of sadness that had hovered over him since they’d met appeared to have fully descended, now. His laughter lines were completely obscured by lines of age and pain, and his eyes looked dull and defeated. "If...If by chance you have any unfinished business...please do what you must." 

“This is all we have left to do,” said Peter as he placed his hands in his pockets. Asgore dipped his head.

"...I see. This is it, then."

Seven canisters suddenly rose from the empty black floor beside Asgore. The suddenness of the unexpected appearances caused Peter and Harry to jump back, and they stared in wonder as the containers clicked into place with a mechanical hiss. That wonder turned to thinly veiled horror as they came to realize what was within each canister. 

In five of the clear containers, a small, heart-shaped object floated in sustained suspension. Each heart was a different color -- yellow, green, cyan, blue, and orange. The same colors of five of the hearts that had been emblazoned on the caskets in the cellar below. The two canisters on the end were empty.

Understanding what those five, colorful little hearts were almost knocked the breath out of them both. 

“The souls," Peter murmured. 

Harry’s hand drifted to his chest unconsciously as he continued to stare, a cold sweat breaking out on the back of his neck.

_ This is real,  _ thought Peter, though the thought itself seemed to come from far away. It was like he was watching himself from outside his body, willing his physical form to get it together and stay focused.  _ If we can’t convince him, we’re going to end up in those jars.  _

A shiver raced down his spine.

_ Those poor humans... _

He snapped violently back to reality when, without warning, a deep and familiar voice spoke. 

"It seems your journey is finally over.”

Peter and Harry couldn’t keep themselves from gasping. Their eyes darted around as they searched for the possible speaker, but through the hammering of their hearts, they quickly realized that no one in the room had given voice to the words they’d heard. Asgore was still silent, watching them with one slightly raised eyebrow, as though he didn’t understand why they had suddenly reacted the way they had. And if the king couldn’t hear it, then that could only mean one thing.

The voice of the Underground, which had been silent since they’d entered the Capitol, had returned. It rang throughout the dark corridor, its words echoing off the luminescent walls as it spoke only one more thing:

“You’re filled with DETERMINATION." 

And they were. With these final sentiments of the voice that had accompanied them throughout it all, Peter and Harry felt a wave of acceptance come over them. It was hard to explain, but just hearing it spoken made it so. Whatever happened...however the story was set to end...they would stay determined.

Without turning his head, Peter reached out and grabbed Harry’s hand. Harry squeezed tightly. 

_ Okay. Here goes nothing. _

Seeing that his opponents appeared ready, Asgore swallowed and shifted his stance. For just the briefest of moments, he offered them a small, genuine smile.

"Humans...it was nice to meet you." His eyes darkened. "Goodbye." 

Both boys took a deep breath. Taking one step forward, Peter held one hand out and began, “Asgore, I know you don’t think this can work-”

His words became choked off as Asgore suddenly threw his purple cloak wide open, revealing a golden, three-pronged trident clutched in his right hand. The weapon, wickedly sharp and nearly as tall as the king himself, glinted against the matching golden armor that he wore beneath the cloak. Without the garment covering 95% of his body, the goat man seemed to nearly double in size, not to mention intimidation. Peter’s stomach did a flip-flop.

_ You have to say something,  _ his mind urged him.  _ Say something NOW! _

“Asgore,” he tried again, backing up but keeping his hand out, “wait. You don’t need to do this. We  _ don’t  _ want to fight you.”

But Asgore, it seemed, was done talking. With his mouth set in a firm, grim line, the Mountain King lunged for them, trident outstretched. 

“ _ Ahh!! _ ”

Moving purely on instinct, Peter grabbed Harry, who was frozen in place with his jaw hanging slightly open. The sight of Asgore’s total transformation had rendered him nearly immobile. Thanks to Peter’s quick reflexes, though, the spider-boy was able to get both himself and Harry out of the way just before the menacing trident could pierce them through like a shish kebab.

Asgore grunted as his weapon lodged in the ground harmlessly. In the seconds it took for him to pull it back out, Peter gave Harry a gentle but firm slap on the cheek. Harry gasped and shook his head as if awakening from some sort of trance.

“You good, buddy?” Peter asked.

Harry brushed some hair back from his forehead and sucked in a shaky breath, but he replied, “Y-Yeah, yeah, I’m-” He whimpered quitely. “Ohh, God, he really is gonna kill us!”

“No he’s not.” Peter’s eyes kept darting between Harry and Asgore, tensing himself to leap away the moment the king returned his attention to them. “That’s what we thought when we faced Undyne, but we got her to quit it, didn’t we?”

“But this is the  _ king! _ ” Harry wailed. 

“And we can talk him down, too. What did I say before?”

“We didn’t know he had a trident before!” Just the thought of the deadly instrument threatened to turn Harry’s stomach. “W-We didn’t see the souls before! Those are-  _ were  _ real people, Pete, and we could be next!” He caught himself starting to hyperventilate and used all of his willpower to force his breaths to calm, at least somewhat. Being incapacitated at a time like this was not an option.

“Hey,  _ hey, _ ” Peter said, shaking his friend’s shoulder lightly. “Listen! Harry! Remember what the voice said? Remember what Sans said? ‘Determination.’ That’s the key here. I know it.” He leaned forward, his eyes sharpening. “We are determined. And we can make it through this.”

Harry absorbed Peter’s words through the rushing of blood in his ears. It felt like his friend had had to give an absurd number of pep talks in the past hour, and he felt bad for wavering so much that it was necessary. Despite this, he knew that what Peter was saying was true. Hadn’t they agreed to not give up? Hadn’t they agreed to stay determined just mere moments ago? 

Asgore attacking them didn’t change their game plan. It had been inevitable, even if they’d desperately hoped for an alternative. It just meant that they would have to put the skills they’d been honing all this time to the test. The most important test of all.

Before Harry could voice his agreement, Peter’s eyes went wide as he caught sight of something behind him. Dread filling his chest, Harry looked over his shoulder to find Asgore barreling down on them once again, trident in one hand and a ball of bright orange flame in the other. 

_ Fire magic,  _ Peter thought wildly as he shoulder-checked Harry out of the way before following suit himself.  _ Just like Toriel. They really are so much alike. _

That small thought actually served to give him another surge of hope. If they were truly so similar, then perhaps Asgore would come to his senses much the way Toriel had when they’d confronted her at the end of the Ruins.

“Asgore!” Peter shouted as he scrambled back to his feet from the floor. “Please, stop! We want to talk to you! I-I mean, I know we talked before, but there’s so much left to say!” He helped Harry up and stood protectively in front of him, keeping his eyes on the king. “We  _ need  _ you to listen. Please. Put away the trident, and...and let’s sit down and talk about this for real, huh?” 

"Please,” Harry said, poking his head over Peter’s shoulder. He met Asgore’s eyes desperately, pleadingly. “We just wanna go home. We just wanna help your people."

From their position across from Asgore, about thirty feet apart, Peter and Harry could see the man’s hands tremble. The movement was very slight, but it was unmistakable. 

Hesitance, no matter how minute, was a good sign.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. In spite of his shaking hands, Asgore lowered his head and raised the hand holding the flickering flame. In the blink of an eye, a circle of identical flames formed around the boys, wide at first but immediately beginning to close in. 

“Nuts,” Peter muttered. “Alright, hang onto me, Har.”

He didn’t have to ask twice. Harry latched onto him as best he could, and then, with an impressive vertical leap, Peter sprang up and out of the rapidly tightening ring of fire. Upon landing, he brushed himself off and looked back to Asgore. He was privately pleased to see a look of genuine surprise on the monster’s face. 

“Pretty impressive, huh?” he called in a lighter tone. “I could tell you how I did it, if you just stop and listen to us.”

The king’s mouth twitched, but again, he remained silent. Peter’s heart sank just a little further.

_ Damn, what’s it gonna take to get him to understand…? _

He shook his head. No. He wasn’t giving up. Not now.

Asgore prepared his next attack, which consisted of conjuring a small hail of flames to rain down from the ceiling. This one was definitely harder to dodge, mainly since it was so hard to predict where each individual flame would land. They did manage to avoid the brunt of the attack by weaving and leaning out of the way as best they could, but unfortunately for Harry, one of the final flames grazed the front of his sweater, singeing a good portion of it. The shock of the event, plus the minor pain, resulted in Harry stumbling and falling to the floor. Peter’s eyes widened in horror.

“HARRY!”

Fighting back panicked tears, Peter dropped beside him and examined the wound. Luckily, as with many of the other minor injuries they’d sustained in the Underground, this one had not greatly damaged anything more than his clothing. All that was visible on his actual skin was a small burn, like that from a cigarette. Still, the intense heat of the magic flame had certainly been felt, and it was not a pleasant experience.

“I-I’m fine,” Harry mumbled, shaking his head. “Really. W-We gotta get up…”

“We will. This’ll just take a second.”

While Peter worked to quickly web up a bandage for the superficial wound, Asgore watched them from afar with his face contorted in deep regret. The trembling of his hands had now spread up his arms, making it somewhat difficult to keep a grip on his trident. Peter and Harry noticed this upon getting back to their feet, and a sudden flash of hope overcame them both.

“Asgore,” Harry called weakly, raising a hand in supplication. “Please, stop this. W-We don’t want to fight, and clearly neither do you.”

“What would Toriel think?” asked Peter. It was a low blow, he knew, but at this point they had to try anything to get him to stop and think about what he was doing.

At the mention of his lost wife’s name, something like recollection flashed through his eyes. His lower lip quivered. 

They leaned forward hopefully. Was this it?

Asgore almost looked like he was about to say something...but then his eyes hardened again, and he shook his head as if pushing away any and all doubt. They saw him take a deep, shuddery breath, and then he was advancing on them once again, bearing down like a freight train.

“Come  _ on, _ ” Peter whined, snagging Harry once again and leaping into the air. “Is  _ nothing  _ gonna stop this guy?!”

As they started to descend from the arc of their jump, Peter looked down and realized that Asgore was directly below them. He’d apparently skidded to a stop in the very same spot they’d been standing. 

“Ohhh, no…”

Peter tried his hardest to change the trajectory of their landing, but it was too late to make adjustments. Peter and Harry landed with a great, heavy  _ thump  _ on top of the Mountain King. 

“ _ Oof!!” _

The very moment that they’d regained their senses, the boys scrambled off of Asgore. Peter leaned down to offer his hand to the fallen monster, stammering, “A-Asgore, I’m sorry! We’re so sorry, w-we didn’t mean to land on you! We didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear…”

Groaning, Asgore looked up. He studied Peter’s outstretched hand for a second or two, and once again they saw something different behind his rose-colored eyes. 

_ Come on, Asgore,  _ Peter pleaded silently.  _ Take my hand. Please. _

For a moment, it really did seem like he would. Then, with a frustrated cross between a grunt and a sigh, Asgore pushed himself to his feet with the help of his trident. He towered over Peter and Harry, his grave mask back in place and obscuring any other emotions beneath it.

“No,” Peter said desperately.

Standing there, looking up at Asgore poised to attack yet again, Peter and Harry realized the awful truth. Talking would do nothing, now. They would have to fight.

_ But we can’t. We can’t! Toriel...everyone...we promised... _

Peter held back tears, and beside him he could hear Harry muttering prayers under his breath. If they fought now, everything they’d worked for, everything they’d held dear, would be ruined. Not once had they had to resort to a physical altercation with someone, even when that someone was actively trying to kill them. Now, here, facing their final challenge, it seemed like everything would be for naught.

_ Who says? _

The quiet, almost inaudible voice at the back of his head posed a legitimate question.

_ Who says we have to kill him?  _

Peter thought about it harder. Toriel had asked them never to fight, it was true. She’d taught them how to work things out, enhanced their already-decent skills of negotiation and communication. But as Spider-Man, Peter knew that some situations did call for a fight. If someone wasn’t going to listen to reason or refused to stop their current destructive behavior, it was sometimes necessary to subdue them. That didn’t mean killing them; it just meant making it so that they physically couldn’t do anymore damage. 

Taking into account everything they’d experienced during their encounter with Asgore, it was clear that the king wasn’t going to stop until he was physically stopped. As awful as it felt, and as much as it twisted his heart to even consider such a thing, Peter understood that it was their only chance. He would tire Asgore out until he was unable to continue fighting, and then they would try talking to him again. It was the only way.

Peter looked at Harry. The look in his friend’s eyes told him that he’d drawn the same conclusions. Harry gave a tiny nod, and Peter returned it. Then he turned toward the king.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

With a heavy heart, Peter leapt toward Asgore. The goat man, not having expected any retaliation, was caught off guard just enough for Peter to sweep his legs out from under him. The king went down again with another crash, and the spider-boy bounded away. Moments later, he returned as Asgore began to stand up and knocked into him with his shoulder, sending the monster stumbling off to the side.

“I’m sorry,” Peter said again, voice thick with regret. “I’m sorry, Asgore.”

Asgore steadied himself, spreading his feet apart to widen his stance. He looked over at Peter, and though the boy saw sadness in his eyes, he saw something else, now, too. Was that...hope? 

He frowned slightly in confusion. Why would Asgore look so hopeful,  _ now  _ of all times? Why now, when they’d been forced into a corner they’d never wanted to be in?

With a flick of his wrist, Asgore sent another flaming attack toward Peter. Harry bit his nails while he watched from further back, tracking his best friend with his eyes as he somersaulted up and over the fire. The acrobatic move brought Peter just within distance to swing a kick at Asgore’s shoulder. When the king staggered yet again and grunted an  _ oomph,  _ Peter couldn’t stop himself from wincing. 

He’d been making sure that each hit was tempered, holding back at least 75% of his true power, so that his attacks would be strong enough to be effective without seriously injuring the old monster. That didn’t make it any less painful to be administering them, though. Watching a man like Asgore -- a he’d grown rather fond of in such a short amount of time, despite the circumstances of their meeting -- be on the receiving end of his blows, which were usually reserved for hardened criminals, was terrible.

Upon landing from the last kick, Peter looked over and saw that Asgore appeared to be on his last legs. Judging by the way he swayed back and forth, holding his forehead in one hand, it would take one more good hit for him to go down. 

_ God, what an awful thing to think. _

He shook his head. This was necessary. As much as it pained him, as much as his heart was begging him to stop, Peter knew he couldn’t let up now. Once the king was exhausted, they would be able to talk without interruption. 

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Peter got down in his signature Spidey stance and waited. He could feel Harry’s eyes on him from behind, filled with concern but also with raw, unfiltered hope. Peter, too, felt hope bubble up beneath the sadness. He only prayed that he was correct in his calculations for how this would all turn out.

Asgore and Peter faced each other down from across a distance of several yards. They stayed there, unmoving, eyes locked, for what felt like an eternity. Then, Asgore charged. Time slowed to a crawl. All that existed in Peter’s world at that moment were himself and the Mountain King. Strangely, instead of feeling anxious, or scared, or upset, a serene sense of calm came over him as Asgore came nearer and nearer. After this, it would all be over. After this, they would get him to understand.

The second that Asgore came within ten feet, his trident held out like a battering ram in front of him, Peter made his move. He jumped up into the air, aimed his feet toward the long, thin handle of the trident, and used that to push off further. He extended his leg like a piston and caught Asgore directly in the chest. 

The force of the blow sent both parties flying off in different directions, Peter back toward Harry, Asgore toward the other end of the dark room. Peter managed to keep himself upright and slid to a stop beside Harry, who put a hand on his shoulder in quiet support. Peter shot him a grateful smile. They then turned their attention to Asgore.

The mighty Mountain King was on the ground, now, having landed on his back after being sent flying by Peter’s kick. They saw him trying to stand, moving slowly and using his trident as a support. And, through what was likely sheer willpower, he did get back on his feet. 

They sucked in a startled breath. Peter’s eyes grew worried. 

_ Was that not enough? Is NOTHING enough?? _

But then, with a great exhalation of breath, Asgore staggered and dropped down to one knee. He lowered his head, breathing hard, still clutching his trident in one hand on the ground beside him.

"Ah..." he murmured, mostly to himself. "So that is how it is." 

Neither boy could hold back the sighs of relief that came out of them. 

_ It’s over. It’s finally over.  _

Peter shared a hopeful look with Harry. Perhaps now, finally, Asgore would listen to what they had to say. With no possibility left of fighting, he would have to let them say their piece. All of it.

“Asgore,” Peter said as he slowly began to approach him with Harry by his side. “I am...so,  _ so  _ sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to fight. I just...we felt like there was no other way.” He knitted his eyebrows in sincere apology. “Please, forgive me. We just want you to  _ listen. _ ” 

Asgore was silent, still looking down at the ground near his feet. When he finally looked up into their faces, all traces of the stone-faced monster were gone, and in his place was a sad, lonely, broken man.

"I remember the day after my sons died,” he said, voice low and somber. “The entire Underground was devoid of hope. The future had once again been taken from us by the humans.” 

The boys nodded.

“We know all about that,” Peter said. “And I can’t say enough how sorry we are, Asgore. For everything. Your people never deserved this.” 

Asgore sighed. “In a fit of anger, I declared war. I said that I would destroy any human that came here," he continued, voice wavering. "I would use their souls to become  _ godlike _ ...and free us from this terrible prison.” He closed his eyes briefly. “Then, I would destroy humanity...and let monsters rule the Surface, in peace.” 

Again, they nodded. Peter wanted to say more, but thought that he should let Asgore finish what he wanted to say. After all, if they were going to ask him to listen to them, they owed him the same courtesy. 

“Soon, the people's hopes returned. My wife, however, became disgusted with my actions. She left this place, never to be seen again." Asgore opened his eyes again, and the raw despair within them was overpowering. He shifted his gaze back up to Peter and Harry. "Truthfully...I do not want power. I do not want to hurt anyone. I just wanted everyone to have  _ hope _ .” 

“We understand,” said Peter softly. “That’s what we want, too. It’s not too late, you know. There’s still a way, I know it.” He gave Asgore a small, comforting smile. “All we need is for you to help us. Help us, so we can help you. If we work together, I know we can find a way to break the Barrier.”

Heaving another sigh, Asgore shook his head. “No. Like I told you, there is no other way. You would need to get assistance that cannot be assured, and even then, there is no guarantee it would work. There is nothing we can do.” The king reached up and pushed some golden hair out of his eyes. “I cannot take this any longer. I just want to see my wife. I just want to see my children.” He fixed them now with a piercing, pleading stare. “Please...young ones...this war has gone on long enough. You have the power…take  _ my  _ soul, and leave this cursed place." 

Immediately, Peter and Harry shook their heads.

“No, Asgore,” Peter said. There wasn’t an ounce of hesitance in his voice. “No way. No chance.”

“But...I don’t understand,” Asgore murmured, creasing his brow in great confusion. “You have the chance to return home. All that is required is my soul. I am an old monster. I have lived my life. There is nothing left for me here, without my family.”

“Nobody else has to die,” Harry said quietly. “There has to be some other option to break the Barrier. I know you don’t believe it, but stranger things have been done before.” He cracked a half-smile. “We didn’t travel all this way just to take the easy way out.”

Quiet descended on them again. Peter looked to Harry, then back down at Asgore. The king had shut his eyes again, shaking his lowered head slightly. Now was the time, he knew, to explain what they’d decided back in the other room. 

“Asgore...we’re willing to stay here for a while,” Peter said, “until we figure something out.” 

Asgore’s eyes snapped open and he raised his head again. 

“What?” he whispered.

“We discussed it back before...uh, all this,” Peter said, gesturing with his hand to indicate the battle, “and we decided that, even if it means not getting home for a long time, we’re willing to stay Underground until we can all find a new solution. Together.” He smiled softly. “I promise that we’ll do everything we can to work with you, Dr. Alphys, and everyone else to engineer something that’ll take down the Barrier for good.” 

Harry nodded. “All we need is your blessing,” he said hopefully. “We won’t survive down here for long if the king himself doesn’t want us here. So, we were hoping that maybe...you’d consider giving us a royal pardon, or something.”

Asgore was quiet as he absorbed the things Peter and Harry had said. Different emotions flashed swiftly across his face: shock, disbelief, wonder, hope. Hesitantly, he asked, "After everything I have done to hurt you...you would rather stay down here and suffer...than live happily on the Surface?" 

“It won’t be suffering if we have our friends,” Peter said simply. 

For the first time, the king’s mouth turned up in a smile that was full of absolute joy.

"Humans...I promise you...for as long as you remain here, my wife and I will take care of you as best we can,” he said, placing one large hand over his heart. Tears were beading in the corners of his eyes and beginning to trail down his fur. “We can sit in the living room, telling stories...eating butterscotch pie…and we will assist you in any way that we can.” He briefly wiped away some of the wetness from his cheek. “We could be like...like a family..." 

All of the tension, all of the uncertainty, all of the underlying dread that had built up over their time in the Capitol suddenly and completely vanished. Peter and Harry’s hearts were lifted like never before. The thought of seeing Toriel again was enough to bring overjoyed tears to their own eyes, let alone being able to coexist happily with Asgore and all of the other monsters until they found a way to break the Barrier for good.

“Asgore,” Peter choked out as he grinned from ear to ear. 

The king spread his arms wide. “My boys,” he said, beaming.

Without any hesitation, Peter and Harry began to race toward Asgore, closing the short distance between them easily and swiftly. Peter’s heart beat a steady, joyful rhythm against his chest, because they’d  _ done it,  _ they’d made sure nobody else had to die, they’d convinced the king that things didn’t have to end in tragedy and revenge. After all this time, they had conquered their greatest challenge.

And then, just before the boys reached the smiling monster, disaster struck out of nowhere.

From out of nowhere, seeming to materialize from the very air itself, a circle of tiny white pellets surrounded Asgore in a perfect hovering circle. Seeing the familiar little projectiles froze Peter and Harry to their very core. 

“No,” Peter said. It was barely a word.

Before their wide, horrified eyes, the ring of pellets quickly converged on Asgore’s kneeling form to deliver the killing blow. The second that they connected with his body, his smile contorted into a look of pure, bewildered fear. 

“ _ NOOOOOOOOO!” _

It only took three seconds for the Mountain King’s body to dissolve into dust. A small gray heart -- his soul -- appeared in the air, turned upside down, and cracked in half straight down the middle. Moments later, that, too, dissipated. Now, nothing remained of Asgore Dreemurr save for his ashes, which rapidly scattered across the dark floor.

" _ ASGORE!” _ Peter and Harry screamed, so loud that it turned both their throats raw. 

_ This can’t be happening, this isn’t happening, this CAN’T BE HAPPENING! _

The room began to tilt and spin along with the boys’ vision. It didn’t feel real.  _ None  _ of this felt real. It was all too cruel. As soon as they’d reconciled with Asgore and obtained the closest thing they had to a happy ending, the creature they’d faced at the very beginning -- the creature they hadn’t seen for the entire rest of their journey -- had reappeared and snatched it all away. 

From the ground where Asgore had once been, a familiar little flower popped up, confirming what they’d already known. There was a gleeful, sickening grin on his round white face. 

"YOU!" Peter and Harry howled in fury.

"You IDIOTS," Flowey spat, still showing off all his nasty teeth. "You haven't learned a thing. In this world..." The five souls of the humans that had been contained in the canister suddenly entered the scene, beginning to swirl in a circle around Flowey as his face became grotesquely distorted. " _ It's KILL oR bE KilLED. _ " 

He laughed maniacally, and the sound echoed and multiplied until it was all they could hear. Yowling in pain and despair, they covered their ears in a desperate bid to block the maddening sound out, but it was no use. Flowey’s horrible, horrible laughter just kept increasing in volume, worming its way through the cracks in their fingers and penetrating the deepest part of their very beings. 

Though they fought to stay standing, in the end, it was too much to bear. As the vile cacophony reached a crescendo, Peter and Harry fell to the floor. Moments later, they were unconscious.


	59. When All Seems Lost

Peter woke up in a pitch black space, far darker than the corridor containing the Barrier. It took him a while to completely regain consciousness, but even once Peter had forced his eyes fully open, it was like nothing had changed. It was still just...a  _ sea  _ of blackness. No movement of air; no obvious noise or background din; no tell-tale smells. It was just...nothing.

_ What in the... _

Peter lifted his fists to his eyes, rubbed them vigorously, blinked, and looked around again. 

Nothing. Nothing but a void stretching out into the foreseeable distance in all directions.

“Okay,” he murmured. “What fresh hell is this?” 

Peter sat up. It was incredibly disorienting, even for such a small movement. Experimentally, he placed his hands on the ground ( _ could it even be called the ‘ground’ when it looked the same as everything above?) _ to steady himself, and he was relieved when he didn’t go tumbling into space. It was good to know that there  _ was  _ solid matter underneath them, at least. 

WIth that knowledge established, his next order of business was to check on Harry. Peter rotated himself carefully, tapping around with his hands to make sure there were no gaps in the ‘floor’. The slight spike in his heart rate upon waking up in this abyss was calmed when he saw his best friend lying just a few feet away. 

“Oh, thank God,” he sighed. “Harry! Harry! Wake up, buddy!” Peter scooted closer and gently shook Harry’s shoulder. The other boy grunted and mumbled something incomprehensible, as if being roused from an incredibly deep sleep, but a few seconds later, he rolled over onto his back and blearily opened his eyes. 

“Huuumnh? Uh...Pete? Why are you in my ro-”

The moment that he registered just what sort of place they were in, Harry’s eyes snapped open all the way and he jolted bolt upright. Any hope of having woken up in his own home, in his own room, was shattered instantly as he took in the unending darkness around them. In an instant, everything came rushing back: the throne room, the souls, the king, the battle, the momentary relief. 

_ The flower.  _

“Ohhh,  _ shit, _ ” he whimpered, hands gravitating to his head. “No, no,  _ no _ ! Ohh, God, we are in  _ so much trouble. _ ” 

Despite the tightening vice around his stomach cavity, Peter forced himself to project calm. Panicking wouldn’t solve anything, even if they had every reason to probably do so. 

“H-Hang on, Har,” he said, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “We don’t know that yet. We don’t even know where we are! Maybe we-”

“What does it matter?!” Harry exclaimed. His voice was choked with desperation as he regarded Peter with terrified eyes. “Even if we did get out of here, wh-what could we do? Asgore is  _ dead!  _ That- That maniac flower killed him, a-and he took the souls!” He could feel the hiccups starting to claw their way forcefully up his diaphragm, but there was nothing he could do to halt their ascent. “Everything’s over- hic! Done. We- hic! failed. We  _ failed, Pete!” _ His hands slid to cover his face as the rolling hiccups turned into sobs.

Watching his friend twisted Peter’s heart like a screw. He wanted to reach out with his words, offer some tiny semblance of legitimate comfort, but for perhaps the first time in his life, he had none. All he could do was sit with his hand on his shoulder and watch his best friend cry for everything they’d lost. 

The worst part was, he knew that if he didn’t continue to manually hold himself back, then he would break down, too. Because everything that Harry had said...was true. Asgore Dreemurr, king of the Underground, Toriel’s past husband, a near-surrogate-father, was dead. Taken right before their eyes. Snatched away before they could even embrace. 

All of their past hardships and struggles...all of the time, and effort, and determination put into befriending the Mountain King...all of their hope of getting home, breaking the Barrier, bringing monsters back to the Surface...all rendered moot by a single talking flower.

And where was that flower now? Hiding beneath the thick, inky blackness of the surrounding void? Or had he left, abandoning them in a shapeless prison that they’d never be able to return from? The idea of being left in this place, trapped forever with nothing but  _ this _ , struck more terror into Peter than the thought that Flowey was lurking somewhere nearby.

Peter brushed at his eyes with his free hand, the other still remaining latched to Harry’s shoulder. The physical reminder that he was, at the very least, not alone was all that was keeping him from completely spiraling into despair. 

_ Toriel,  _ he thought, fighting back tears.  _ Papyrus...Sans...Alphys...everyone...I’m so, so sorry. We tried. We really, really tried.  _

Toriel had saved them, once upon a time, from the menace of that little golden flower. Now, when it mattered most, they couldn’t return the favor. 

Once again, Peter could not save the ones that he loved. 

They weren’t sure how much time passed as they sat there together, unmoving. It could have been only seconds; it could have been eons. Time had no meaning in a place like this. Without any reference for its passing, it essentially ceased to be. All that existed was Peter, and Harry, and the beating of their own broken hearts. 

And then, like the herald from an angel, a voice broke the stifling silence. 

" _ Long ago, two races ruled over the Earth: humans and monsters. One day...they all disappeared without a trace. _ " 

But this voice belonged to no angel. The voice was cruel, and cold, and sickeningly familiar. The moment that it spoke, a nauseating level of hyper-awareness descended on them both.

Harry’s head snapped up from where it had gradually sunk to his chest. Though his eyes were rimmed with red, they were wide and focused, though they didn’t know what to focus on. Peter finally removed his hand from his friend’s shoulder, snatching it back to his side out of shock. For the moment, all grief had been replaced by apprehension so thick it filled their lungs.

“Where is he?” Harry breathed, voice trembling as much as his body was. He didn’t have to denote who  _ he  _ was. There was only one person it could be.

Peter’s eyes darted every which way, and his spider sense went screaming into overdrive as it searched for an enemy it couldn’t locate. 

“I-I don’t know. I don’t know…”

A painfully bright flash suddenly lit up the void. It was so startlingly intense that both boys had to shield their eyes, lest they get blinded. Still, even through their fingers, it was enough to cause deep discomfort, sending little colored spots bouncing around the insides of their eyelids.

They were finally able to lower their hands fifteen seconds later -- though it felt far longer. The afterimages of the burning flash still made it somewhat difficult to see, but they could just make out a large, square, flat  _ thing  _ hovering in front of them where there had previously been nothing. Peter vigorously massaged his eyes, hoping that it would clear them faster. 

Once the effects had finally subsided fully, Peter and Harry were able to take their first good look at the thing that had appeared in the space with them. It was...possibly the strangest thing they’d seen since falling down, and considering the things they had experienced, that was not a description given lightly.

It was a rectangle, about the size of two school buses stacked atop one another -- the regular kind, not the little mini ones. The sheer size of it was honestly staggering. It also gave off a faint light, which was admittedly welcome in the otherwise suffocating darkness, and it illuminated their faces softly as they stared up at with a mix of wonder and suspicion. The dimensions of the rectangle appeared to be 2D, and while that in and of itself was something strange, it was not the  _ strangest  _ thing about the object. That honor went to the simple, neat white letters written upon the black background of the rectangle: 

_ Throne Entrance  _

_Save_ _Continue_

"...Save?" Peter said after he and Harry had stared agape at the thing for some time. “What does...what is this?” The little neurons running around in his brain must have been colliding into one another, he assumed, because he was plainly looking at the thing and yet he couldn’t fathom a single word. Well, that wasn’t quite true. He registered them perfectly well; there was no mistaking what the rectangle read. The problem he had was with what they  _ meant. _

" _ Save _ ,” Harry echoed. “Like a...a game?" It was the only thing he could think of. That still didn’t explain what the hell a literal  _ save screen  _ was doing there, or how such a thing could even exist in a real-life location (strange and nebulous thought it may have been), but if it looked like a dog and barked like a dog, what else could it be? Unless they were going insane due to the extreme darkness and isolation, and had conjured up a shared delusion, there was just no other explanation. 

That didn’t mean it was any less confusing, though. As Peter continued to stare alongside Harry, he dug deep in his brain for anything, anything at all, that would have served as an indication that there might be such a thing as ‘saving’ in the Underground. Video games worked fundamentally different from real life, so there really  _ couldn’t  _ be any-

Peter let out a gasp so loud that it made Harry gasp as well. 

“What?!” Harry yelped, tearing his eyes away from the rectangle so he could fix Peter with his worried gaze. “W-What, what is it?!”

Peter’s mouth hung slightly open as his mind scrambled to finish processing his sudden epiphany. It was so crystal clear, so obvious, that he didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of it immediately. 

There was only one thing, as they’d traveled throughout the various sections of the Underground, that had been at the same time consistent and confusing. Only one thing that had been a mystery at the forefront of their minds, and yet constantly relegated to the back as new, strange, and wonderful things happened one after another. Only one thing that had no clear purpose, no matter how many times they ran across it.

_ The stars. _

Everything finally clicked into place. It still didn’t account for how ‘saving’ in the real, physical, tangible world was even  _ possible  _ \-- as, by all accounts, it shouldn’t have been -- but it was undeniable. The stars that they’d seen scattered along the winding path through the Ruins, Snowdin, Waterfall, Hotland, the Core, the Capitol...they weren’t just for decoration, or for summoning some otherworldly voice to boost their confidence with vague (but appreciated) encouragement. They were...something else. Something far, far more powerful. And, frankly, something beyond their capacity to comprehend.

“Pete?” Harry asked when Peter hadn’t replied for a good thirty seconds, voice jumping an octave higher. “Pete, what? What??”

“Th...The stars,” Peter managed. “I-It’s the only thing I could think of.”

“What?” Harry asked desperately. “What about the stars? I don’t understand!” 

“The stars,” Peter repeated, finally looking back to Harry. He gave a wan smile. “It has to be connected to them. Every time we touched one, it...it must have ‘saved.’” Peter shook his head and made a rueful little chuckle. “I don’t know how such a thing is possible, but I guess, in the Underground...is it really worth questioning?” 

Harry opened his mouth, then slowly closed it. He didn’t have a good response. What could he even  _ say  _ to a revelation like that? Besides, thinking it over, Peter was likely correct. Those mysterious little stars had seemingly held no purpose whatsoever, and yet each time they made contact with one, each time they heard that great booming voice, it felt undeniably insignificant. If that significance was to save the progress of something that ordinarily could never be saved...how much stranger could it be than everything else they’d experienced, really? 

Absently, Harry thought that the Surface might benefit from such an impossible, miraculous power. Saving the progress of one’s life journey would be pretty revolutionary. Death might even become a relic of the past! Then again, the consequences of that might be staggeringly worse than the benefits...

Harry’s scattered ruminations were interrupted by an ear-splitting  _ crack.  _ It was so loud that it actually sent both boys an inch into the air from the force of it. 

“ _ Aghhhh!”  _

Their hands flew to cover their ears as soon as they landed. The sound wasn’t as bad or as extended as that horrible, twisted Flowey laughter, but it was enough to leave a ringing in their heads for a good while after it faded. 

Through the haze of residual discomfort, Peter painfully raised his eyes to the rectangle. A small red line had appeared at the very top of it, and as he and Harry watched, that red line began to spread. It snaked its way down the rest of the rectangle, growing exponentially in size, until it had become a giant fissure. Smaller lines then began to spread out from the main one. When the entire surface had become spiderwebbed with cracks, the rectangle shattered with another deafening noise, sending hundreds of sharp-edged scattering every which way.

The destruction of the mysterious rectangle sent a cold chill down both their spines. If their conclusion about the stars, the ‘saving’, and what the rectangle represented were correct, then it was very possible that something incredibly important had just been lost forever. Peter’s stomach sank.

“Something tells me if we weren’t in trouble before...we definitely are now,” he whispered.

Peter couldn’t have known how right he was. Only moments after he’d spoken, a new image took the place of the rectangle: the deceptively cheerful face of Flowey, blown up to a hundred times its original size. The massive smile on his face was dripping with barely-concealed contempt. The stone weighing down Peter’s insides turned into a boulder.

“Ahh, dammit,” Peter muttered weakly. 

"Howdy!" Flowey quipped, and the magnitude of his voice nearly knocked them over. "It's me, Flowey. Flowey the Flower!” 

Peter quashed the tremor that he felt latching onto his voice and stared down the monstrous flora with fiery eyes. “We know who you are!” he shouted. “And you picked the wrong time to show your ugly mug again!!” With some effort, he pushed himself onto his knees to give himself a little more stability. “Y...You’re in big trouble, you hear?! We’re not gonna let you get away with whatever the hell you’re planning!” He swallowed. “F-For Asgore...for everyone...we’re gonna stop you, whatever it takes!”

Harry, from his current position, managed a weak nod. Now was not the time to freeze up. Even though every muscle in his body was begging him to let them shut down, he refused. He wasn’t going to let Peter face this monster alone. 

_ ‘Monster’...I guess, after everything, he really is the only true monster down here,  _ Harry thought with disdain. 

Flowey giggled. It seemed he wasn’t the least bit intimidated by their defiant little display. 

“Oh, that reminds me!!” he exclaimed. “I almost forgot! I owe you a HUGE thanks! You really did a number on that old fool. Without you, I NEVER could have gotten past him!” Flowey’s smile turned into a cruel grin, and his voice began to distort like it was being played through some twisted version of autotune. “But now, with your help...he's  _ DEAD. _ " 

They flinched, the words piercing them both like a gunshot. Peter’s hand unconsciously went up to grab at the locket that he still wore around his chest as a horrible truth dawned on him: they’d unknowingly allowed this to happen. Under normal circumstances, a creature like Flowey would’ve stood no chance against the powerful Asgore. But after engaging with Peter and taking hit after hit, even with the boy holding himself back...it had been just enough to weaken him for the final blow.

_ Oh, Asgore...I’m sorry.  _ Peter squeezed his eyes shut against the rising torrent of grief.  _ You couldn’t save your family...and we couldn’t save you. I’m so sorry. _

"And I'VE got the human souls!" continued Flowey, chuckling. "Boy! I've been empty for so long! It feels great to have a soul inside me again.” His expression changed to one of ecstasy, his eyebrows slanting and his tongue poking out the side of his mouth. “Mmm...I can feel them  _ wriggling. _ " 

Peter and Harry couldn’t hide their disgust at such a thought. Though Peter managed to keep his lunch down, Harry turned visibly green. Flowey laughed again. 

"Aww, you're feeling left out, aren't you?" he cooed, tilting his disembodied head. "Well, that's just perfect! After all, I only have five souls. I still need two more...before I become  _ GOD _ ." 

That sickening grin reappeared, Flowey’s beady little eyes alight with more mania than Peter had seen in any supervillain’s. "And then, with my newfound powers... _ monsters _ .  _ Humans _ .  _ EVERYONE _ . I'll show them all the TRUE meaning of this world!"

Flowey uttered another dark, sinister cackle as he regarded the two humans before him. He was clearly relishing in the war playing out on their features as they went from petrified to enraged and back again. “Oh, and forget about escaping to your old Save,” he added dryly. “It's gone FOREVER.” 

A small, anguished cry escaped Harry’s lips. 

“N-No... _ no!!”  _

The hiccups were back, coming hard and fast as his mind played the past events of their journey on a dizzying loop. The images of people, places,  _ everything  _ blurred together until there was just a hazy, runny blob of colors circling his brain.

_ It’s gone. It’s all gone. Everything is gone. Everything we worked for, everyone we loved, they’re all- _

Harry bit his tongue to keep from sobbing, but twin trails of tears still sprang from the corners of his eyes even as Peter wrapped one arm protectively around him. 

Glaring up at Flowey and pushing aside his own fears, Peter spat, “I don’t believe you! You’re lying!” 

Even as he said these words, a painful twinge of doubt remained in his heart. They’d seen the rectangle shatter. If that one object had truly held all record of their journey, aside from the memories in their minds and hearts…

What did that mean for them?

“Oh, believe it!” Flowey guffawed. “Aw, but don't worry! It’s not so bad! Your old friend Flowey...has worked out a replacement for you!" The flower’s eyes narrowed to slits. He bared his sharp, pointed teeth in a grin that took up 75% of his face. "I'll SAVE over your own  _ DEATHS _ , so you can watch me tear you to bloody pieces...OVER, and OVER, and  _ OVER!!! _ " 

No matter how many times it happened, Peter still couldn’t get used to the sensation of real, genuine, acute  _ fear  _ flooding his veins. One would think that after all this time, putting himself in harm’s way, outwitting the cruelest of minds, seeing the very worst that humanity had to offer, subsequent feelings of legitimate fear would have been dulled, at the very least. And yet, every time he was faced with something like Flowey -- something so monstrous, so unapologetically  _ evil _ \-- that familiar prickling dread would come rushing into his system again like he was fourteen and fresh into the hero business. Every time. 

_ And every time...you still do what has to be done. _

A fire ignited in Peter’s belly; a fire so hot and furious that it melted the casing of icy terror around his insides. It was fueled by an overwhelming desire to set things right. It was fueled by his own heap of guilt at not having found a way to deal with Flowey before all of this happened. Most of all, though, it was fueled by something far more powerful than just an emotion -- it was fueled by  _ determination _ . 

"No.” 

Harry looked at his friend through a film of tears to see him getting somewhat shakily to his feet. He looked angry. 

Peter rarely got legitimately angry. When he did, though, he didn’t scream. He didn’t throw things. He didn’t spew curses, like Harry’s father. No. When Peter got really, truly angry, his whole demeanor shifted. He got quieter, less animated. His eyes took on a hard quality, and his hands would stay motionless at his sides.

When Peter got angry, whoever was on the receiving end was in for an incredibly rude awakening.

Flowey apparently didn’t know that, because his twisted expression immediately shifted back to one of incredulity. He chuckled his high-pitched, ear-grating chuckle.

“‘No’?” he asked mockingly. “Awww, does someone think he’s all tough?” 

"You’re  _ not _ going to get away with this, Flowey,” said Peter calmly, his voice strong and sure. “I don’t care who you think you are. I don’t care what power you think you have.  _ We won’t let you do this. _ ” He straightened his back even further, bringing his 5’6” frame up as far as it could go. His eyes were deadlocked on Flowey’s, unwavering. “We’ve fixed bigger messes than yours.”

For a moment, things were quiet. From his position on the ground behind Peter, Harry could see that Flowey’s face had gone neutral, completely devoid of any glee that had previously been there. His heart skipped a beat. 

_ Did Pete get to him?  _

He almost dared to believe that he had...

Then, Flowey laughed. 

"What?” he asked through bouts of giggles, his eyes scrunching up with unbridled hilarity. “Do you really think you can stop ME?  _ Hee hee hee! _ " 

Peter remained steadfast in the wake of Flowey’s taunts. His legs didn’t shake. His hands curled tightly into fists. He refused to look away.

“I don’t think,” he said evenly. “I know.”

Flowey’s laughter ceased. The dead quiet was somehow far louder than the riotous cackling had been. He smiled one more time, quirking one corner up his mouth up in pure condescension. 

"You really  _ ARE _ idiots." 

As if a switch had been flipped _ ,  _ Flowey’s gigantic face suddenly disappeared without warning. The boys were plunged once more into total darkness. Harry, filled with a surge of adrenaline, scrambled to his feet and pressed close to Peter’s side, head darting around at a mile a minute.

“W-Where’d he go?” he panted. “What’s happening?!”

“I don’t know, but he can’t have gone far. He’s planning something.” Peter squinted into the shadows. He couldn’t make anything out. He didn’t know what the flower was playing at, but he’d decided some time ago that he wasn’t going to be immobilized by worry. The fear could still chip away at his heart -- and he’d have been lying if he’d said he wasn’t afraid -- but he wasn’t going to let it shut him down. Flowey had gone too far, now. If he wanted to mess with Peter and those he loved dear, then he was going to see just what happened when someone tried to squash this spider. 

Suddenly, from out of the inky blackness, the five human souls appeared. They hovered a good fifty feet in front of Peter and Harry, glowing brightly and pulsating every other moment. Then, they began to rotate in a circular formation, spinning rapidly until their colors faded together into one nauseating blur. 

Just as quickly as they’d appeared, the souls vanished. A millisecond later, the whole room was awash with a reddish tinge. It flashed on and off like a warning light. Harry could almost swear that he heard the screaming of sirens in the distance. 

With this new (albeit inconsistent) light source, Peter and Harry could now see something humongous advancing on them from the darkness. It was tall, and wide, and far, far larger than the rectangle or image of Flowey had been. As it approached, the boys unconsciously began to back up, though they once again kept their eyes fixed on it in fascinated horror. The closer it got, the more of it they could make out: four massive, elephantine legs covered in some kind of green substance, wrapped in what looked like vines; machinery, twisted metal tubes haphazardly winding around a square object up near the top; several round, bloodshot eyes, lodged in a fleshy-  _ was that a HEAD?  _ They could hardly register the mish-mash of amalgamated parts that made up this...this  _ thing.  _ All that the two could think was that it resembled some huge, horrible, grotesque spider.

_ No spider I’ve ever seen has looked like THAT,  _ thought Peter numbly.

The dark, square thing near the top of the creature’s head flickered to life, revealing it to be a screen. On the screen was Flowey’s merry, smiling face, beaming down at them with all the exuberance of a toddler discovering brand new toys. Then his face morphed into something nearly unrecognizable; his eyes distorted in a way that shouldn’t have been possible, turning round and red and completely insane. That manic grin, now full of crooked teeth, spread wide across the screen. 

Abruptly, mercifully, the red flashing light stopped. Peter and Harry would have felt at least some minor relief, considering how painful it had been to try and keep their eyes open through it all...but without the constant, irritating flashing, they could now see the entirety of the creature that Flowey had become, in all its Frankenstein glory. 

“Oh, God,” Harry murmured weakly, zeroing in on the strange, fleshy thing they’d glimpsed before. “It is a head.”

The head, equipped with a long, slender snout that protruded forward from its face, opened its mouth. A sound identical to the hellish, cackling symphony that had previously knocked them unconscious rocked the entire space to its core. It was all they could do not to get toppled again, but they managed it, Peter planting his feet firmly on the ground and anchoring Harry with his hand on his arm. When the laughter ceased, they lifted their heads once more to the creature, and a few charged seconds passed between them. 

Then, the thing reared back its head and roared. Peter shifted his stance, a movement so fluid and familiar he didn’t even have to think about it.

“Okay,” he muttered. “It’s on.”


	60. Your Best Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry finally face a villainous blast from the past. Only problem is, now he's huge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And just like that, we are 3/4 of the way done with Undertale. I really can't believe it!! Twenty more chapters and we'll be at our journey's end ;u; Once again, I wanna thank everyone who's read this far and who continue to leave feedback! It literally makes my day every time I see a comment, and definitely gives me that little boost of encouragement I need to keep going :)

There was no warning before the attacks started. As soon as the hideous Flowey/spider conglomerate had finished screaming its furious roar, the dark void was alive with whizzing projectiles. White, razor-edged ‘stars’ sang through the air like a blizzard, thousands of them all at once, so numerous that they almost blocked their view of the creature itself. In addition to the stars, the thin vines that were wrapped around its tree-trunk legs lashed out in a frenzy toward their feet. 

Time seemed to slow as Peter considered the dangers bearing down upon them. The stars alone were unbelievably fast, numerous, and dangerous, to say nothing of the dexterity with which the vines slithered along the ground. The options seemed limited; jumping into the air to avoid the tendrils would leave them open to becoming pin cushions for any number of stars, while dropping low would almost certainly mean getting tangled up, and possibly immobilized. 

_ Dammit. Alright, how do we work this? _

When Peter had pictured facing down Flowey, he’d imagined a single, eight-inch flower with a face and a nasty attitude. This... _ thing _ , this absolute Frankenstein of a creature, was the farthest thing from his mind. It was something he hadn’t planned for. He took a deep breath in through his nose.

_ That’s just how it goes with these guys, I guess,  _ he thought wryly.  _ You think they’re one thing, when really, they’re a giant plant-spider-computer monster. No sweat. Just gotta think a little outside the box.  _

And if there was one thing Peter particularly prided himself on when in hostile situations, it was oddball thinking. 

The time it had taken him to mull over their situation had, despite feeling like minutes, only taken about three seconds -- just enough time to spring into action before Flowey’s attacks converged on them. In a flash, Peter’s arm lashed out, grabbing Harry firmly by the bicep. Harry looked at Peter in a panic, and though he couldn’t find the words to form a question, his eyes asked one all the same. Peter barely had the time to form the words “Trust me” with his lips before he -- and, by extension, Harry -- was moving.

Their running start only lasted for a few seconds. The boys dropped to the floor just as the spinning stars would’ve stuck them like so many shurikens. Building on the momentum from their brief moments of motion, Peter propelled himself and Harry across the floor, straight toward the vines that were still speedily crawling toward them. Seeing that they were approaching the things that they were very obviously supposed to stay  _ away  _ from, Harry let out a confused, strangled scream.

“ _ Pete?!” _

Peter didn’t reply. He was too focused on executing the final maneuver. 

This final maneuver, of course, relied on an assumption he’d made based on previous experiences, and there was no guarantee that that assumption was  _ true,  _ but he was pretty certain there was a good chance it would be. The closer they slid to the advancing vines, though, the more Peter began to doubt. A hard lump began to rise in his throat. Was it not going to work? Had he calculated wrong? What if they-

And then his spider sense blared a warning in his head; it was quick and loud, and immediately erased all fears he’d had about pulling this off. The lump melted away as a tiny smirk formed on his face. 

A quick glance over his shoulder confirmed he’d been right: the stars were following their movements. 

“Okay,” he said under his breath. “Here we go.”

He waited until he could feel the faint breeze of the razor stars closing in on them from behind. Harry was still screaming beside him, but he did his best to tune it out and focused on the ever shortening distance between them and the thorny vines. When there was literally just two more feet until they collided, Peter’s left arm whipped out to his side and fired a thin, almost transparent line of web. He felt it anchor to something off in the distance, closed his hand tightly around the end, and pulled. 

The resulting force of the incredibly jarring move nearly pulled Peter’s shoulder out of its socket, but he didn’t care. All that mattered was that it had worked. It had worked!! 

After a somewhat rough landing and tumbling to a stop a good ways away from Flowey, Peter sat up and smiled despite the slight groan coming from his mouth. “Ooogh, that’s gonna be sore later,” he chuckled, rubbing circles on his shoulder.

Harry, for his part, was as white as a sheet. He did manage to sit up as well, but his breathing was coming in short gasps, and his hand had flown to the spot over his heart. It was beating like an oversized drum as he shakily raised his eyes to meet Peter’s. 

“Peter,” he croaked. Peter immediately knit his eyebrows in sympathy, and he scooted closer to his friend.

“Yeah, buddy? You okay?”

Harry took a couple of deep breaths, forcing his air flow to regulate.

“Next time you decide to do something like that,” he said, speaking each word slowly and deliberately, “ _ TELL ME! _ ” 

Peter offered a sheepish smile. “Sorry!! I will next time, I promise,” he apologized. “There just wasn’t any time. You know how close we were to becoming human porcupines?”

“Actually, yes, Peter! I’m aware!  _ I’m incredibly aware of how terrible this situation is!! _ ” Harry shouted. He sighed and sat back on his heels and rubbed his hands down his face. “Sorry,” he muttered, “sorry, I’m f-fine, it’s fine. I just…” Harry looked at Peter desperately. “How the hell are we gonna get out of this one?”

Peter smirked again, his eyes alight. “I think I might have an idea.” He gestured back toward the Flowey-beast just as a howl of fury filled the air. Harry’s eyes snapped wide open. He turned to look where Peter was looking, and to his shock, he found the thing rearing back on its hind legs and clutching at its vines with the long, nasty-looking red claws on its forearms. All of the vines that had been extending towards them were completely covered in white stars, pierced from tip to base. Flowey cradled the wounded vines like a parent holding a child, and strange sounds almost identifiable as whimpers emanated across the dark space.

“Holy shit,” Harry said, staring at the scene in awe.

“I was hoping that attack might be a tracking one,” Peter explained. “I thought maybe, if we could lead the stars toward the vines, they’d end up hitting  _ them  _ instead of us. Looks like my theory was correct!” He looked back to Harry and lowered his voice a bit. “I think this might be another case where we have no real option but to fight. Or, at the very least, get Flowey to attack himself. We need to do whatever we can to get him too weak to do anything, and then…” He bit his lip. “Then...I don’t know. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, the most important thing is making sure he doesn’t kill us.”

Harry nodded vigorously. “I think I can agree with that.”

Another scream, filled with pure, unbridled rage, jolted them both into clambering to their feet, readying for another onslaught. Looking across the way once more, they could see that Flowey had gotten most of the stars out of his vines and wound them back around his legs, though a few were still stuck pretty deep. Green, viscous fluid dripped from the open wounds and splattered on the black ground beneath. 

“Alright, you little  _ bastards _ ,” Flowey growled, the face on his screen looking absolutely murderous. “You wanna play hardball?  _ Let’s play hardball. _ ”

Suddenly, Flowey’s twisted features disappeared, and the screen atop the creature went black. Moments later, the word "WARNING" flashed in its place, accompanied by obnoxiously shrill air raid sirens and with the cyan human soul pictured underneath.

“Uhh...w-what...does that mean?” Harry asked waveringly. Peter just shook his head, eyes remaining fixed on the screen. 

“Probably not something good.”

The spidery plant monster backed up into the darkness, obscuring itself within the shadows. The only thing visible was the cyan-colored heart, glowing faintly on the blackened screen. With the rest of Flowey hidden, it almost looked like it was floating by itself in the void. 

For just a moment, nothing happened. Then, several knives materialized from nothingness. They were huge, easily twice as tall as Peter and Harry, and there were dozens of them. They came from the direction of the creature, each spinning in slow, synchronized circles as they advanced on the boys.

“Yup,” Peter sighed. “Definitely not good.”

The knives danced closer and closer as Peter and Harry did their best to get themselves out of the way. There were so many of them that it was difficult to dodge one without running into another; as Harry sidestepped one of the whirling blades, one that had come up right behind it and caught him on the arm, opening a long slit in his sweater and drawing a thin red line across his skin. 

With a yowl, the boy dropped to his knees and frantically placed his other hand over the wound to try and stem the blood beginning to flow from the site. “ _ Gahh, SHIT!”  _ he gasped. The pain was far beyond anything he’d sustained previously, even during their standoff with Asgore. The burning was  _ nothing  _ compared to this. 

Peter was quick to notice that his friend had been hurt. He saw him out the corner of his eye, kneeling amongst the deadly spinning blades, and in an instant he was bounding over. 

“HARRY!”

He weaved through the knives with quickness and ease until he managed to reach Harry. He dropped down beside him and did his best to shield him from the attack, spreading his arms out and shifting them both away each time a knife got close. When there was a minor break in the onslaught, Peter turned to Harry and gently took his arm in one hand while he wove another strand of webby gauze in the other.

Harry, finally having gathered enough of his wits back to speak, weakly smiled as Peter applied the bandage. “My dad’s gonna be so mad,” he said. “Pretty sure this whole outfit is ruined by now.”

“Don’t worry,” Peter replied, shooting him an equally strained smile. “We’ll just tell him a giant evil flower spider did it. Not your fault.”

The whizzing of a knife right by his ear brought Peter’s focus back to the situation at hand. Not that he’d really  _ forgotten,  _ per se -- it was hard to forget being in the middle of a knife storm -- but the close call reminded him that they couldn’t stay huddled there forever.

Experimentally, Peter shot a web blast at one of the knives. It broke apart harmlessly against the shining blade, just as it had when he’d tried using his webbing against Flowey’s ‘friendliness pellets’. 

_ Drat. Useless. _

Peter frowned. If they couldn’t physically take down these things, what else was there to do? It felt like they just kept coming, spawning endlessly from some undetermined spot. At this point, it seemed like the only one who could stop it was…

Peter’s head shot up to look at the dark screen. The cyan soul was still there, pulsing briefly every moment or two like a weak star. An idea came to him as he gazed at it; an idea that had no guarantee of working, but nonetheless one that he felt might be their only shot. 

Sucking in a deep breath, Peter suddenly called out, “Hey!  _ Hey! Soul up there! _ ” The soul showed no reaction; it continued to float in the middle of the screen, and the knives continued to spin. Peter didn’t give up, cupping his hands around his mouth and continuing to shout. “I-I know you don’t know who I am, but I also know you’re a human, like us! A-And right now, I’m pretty sure you’re doing these things-” He gestured to the knives spiraling through the air. “-against your will! That must make you pretty mad, right? I-I mean, if some creepy flower thing absorbed  _ my  _ soul to do his evil bidding, I’d be pissed as hell.”

“Peter? What are you doing?” Harry whispered, clearly bewildered. Peter didn’t reply. Instead, he kept desperately calling out to the person trapped in the screen, the person who was only one of many whose lives had been taken away far, far too soon.

“You weren’t supposed to die when you did,” he said. “And I bet that must make you pretty upset, too. I understand what it’s like to feel like everything’s been ripped away from you. To feel like you’ve been used. Asgore may have had plans to, but, well...I don’t think there’s anything closer to being used than what this asshole’s doing to you right now.” He took another deep breath. “So, please...if you can hear me... _ fight back.  _ Show this jerk that we humans are a lot more resilient than he thinks. We want to help you --  _ all of you _ \-- but we can only do that once we’re not being, y’know, attacked.” Peter clasped his hands and stared earnestly at the little cyan heart. He had to believe that he was getting through. “We know you can do it.  _ Please.  _ All we’re asking for is a little help.” 

At first, it seemed like Peter’s pleading had changed nothing. The knives continued with their deadly dance, and the heart didn’t change position, or stop glowing, or do anything to indicate that the message had been received.

Then the knives stopped. They paused in their spinning and hung there in mid-air, including the one so close that it had been about to come swinging down toward Peter’s head. Peter and Harry held their breath, their eyes darting briefly to each other’s faces.

All of a sudden, the frozen knives began to shake. Lightly at first, then rapidly, vibrating so hard that they almost blurred. And then...they transformed. In the place of every single knife was now a large green band-aid, and they gravitated directly toward Peter and Harry as they continued to kneel, gaping, on the floor.

Hesitantly, Harry reached out and touched the nearest band-aid. As soon as his fingers made contact, an indescribable feeling of rejuvenation filled his entire body. It was so startling that he let out a little gasp, but that gasp soon turned into a sigh of relief. 

“Whoaaa,” he mumbled. “This is...incredible.”

A light tingling sensation in his arm prompted him to look over at where Peter had placed his webbed bandage. To Harry’s further astonishment, the gauze dissolved into thin air, and the angry red line beneath it faded away as if it had never been there. Not only that, but the large rip in his sweater mended itself in mere seconds.

“Oh my God,” he breathed, extending his arm out in front of him and turning it this way and that while he regarded it with awe. “P-Pete...Pete! Did you see that?!”

Peter had, indeed, seen the effects of the band-aid, and he couldn’t stop the smile that spread from ear to ear.

“The soul,” he said in delight. “They heard me! They really heard me!!” He looked back up at the screen just in time to see the cyan soul disappear from view. Flowey’s face reappeared soon after, looking just as furious as it had before. Peter’s smile slipped into a cheeky little smirk.

“What’s the matter, Flowey?” he taunted. “Can’t control the souls that don’t belong to you?”

“Don’t you mock me!” Flowey hissed, his screen flickering to static for a half-second. “THIS ISN’T OVER YET!”

With a grand sweep of his forearm, Flowey knocked the other floating band-aids away, sending them spiraling into the darkness and out of sight. From within the mess of coils and other machine parts that wound around the screen, the boys could see what looked an awful lot like a laser node gearing up to fire.

“MOVE!” Peter shouted. He and Harry jumped to their feet and dove in opposite directions as a high-powered laser beam shot out and hit the spot they’d been kneeling. It left a sizzling, sizable crater in the ground, noticeable even in the dark.

There was no time to rest, though, even after the laser had fired and missed. As soon as the node shut off, two enormous venus fly traps sprouted from the forearms of the creature. Their toothy maws opened wide, and from the one on the left came hundreds of little black, buzzing flies. The bugs filled the air almost immediately, greatly limiting visibility as they swarmed around Peter and Harry and droning loudly in their ears.

“Ew,  _ ew!! _ ” Harry shrieked, shutting his eyes tightly and swatting around himself in a frenzy. The feeling of his hands connecting with the bloated bodies of the flies was nauseating, but the alternative was to continue to be trapped in a buzzing cloud, so he bit back his bile and kept at it. Unfortunately, each time a handful of the insects were felled, a dozen more took their place.

While Peter and Harry tried desperately to make a dent in the swarm, Flowey took the opportunity that the distraction provided to unleash another round of razor stars. The stars easily cut through the cloud of flies, killing many of them instantly. While the majority of the projectiles flew right by the boys or went over their heads, a few did find their mark, slicing at their pants, shirts, legs, arms, hands. 

“ _ AgghHHH!”  _

They both dropped back down to the floor in pain, clutching at the places where they’d been hit the worst. They had been fortunate enough not to have any of the things embedded in them anywhere, but the slices they’d made were numerous and deep. Blood was already pooling around them, staining the knees of their pants a dark red.

“Damn, those things  _ sting, _ ” Peter managed through clenched teeth. His vision was starting to fade in and out, growing fuzzy at the edges and slowly spreading. That didn’t bode well; passing out was a death sentence, he knew. 

Methodically, he began to bandage his wounds through the stabbing pain, and when he was done he dragged himself closer to Harry and did the same for him. Harry flinched as Peter gingerly touched his leg, sucking air in quickly. 

“Hhhh…”

Peter winced. “Sorry, pal. I’ll try to go quick.”

While Peter tended to his friend’s wounds for the second time that fight, what was left of the swarm of flies mercifully retreated. They all flitted back to Flowey, and the venus fly trap on the right sucked them up like a plant-based vacuum. Were they not completely focused on not bleeding out, Peter and Harry would have found the sight both disgusting and fascinating. 

“Now do you see?!” Flowey cackled. His shadow loomed over them as the spider beast took a few steps closer. “You  _ never  _ stood a chance!  _ Never!!” _

The shadow withdrew. Peter and Harry, still struggling to remain conscious despite the great pain, looked up to find that Flowey was once again backing up. His screen, like last time, flashed “WARNING” before displaying another soul, this one a bright orange color. Through his haze, Peter managed to nod to himself. 

_ Another soul? No problem. We got through to the first one. We can get through to this one. _

This time, instead of knives, large white boxing gloves materialized out of thin air. From what they could see, these particular boxing gloves were also studded with spikes, which would undoubtedly make for an extra dangerous punch.

“Aw, man,” Harry sighed weakly. “Not this again.”

“N-No, no, it’s okay,” Peter urged. “Th-They can help us. We just need to call out to them. Trust me.” 

Rather than trying to stand in his current state, Peter elected to stay on the ground beside Harry as the gloves advanced. They had all formed tight clusters, about five gloves to each individual group, and turned slowly in a circular pattern around one another. It was truly a sight to behold. Unfortunately, the dire circumstances prevented either boy from admiring how neat the formation looked.

Without wasting any time, Peter raised his eyes to the soul on the screen.

“Hey, orange soul!” he shouted, ducking one of the circling gloves as a group passed overhead. “Hey! I-I wanna tell you what I told your buddy before: it sucks to get used. Like,  _ really  _ sucks. And I know that if you had any say in this, you probably wouldn’t be trying to kill us with comically oversized studded boxing gloves.” He gave a wavering little laugh. “Y-You’re stronger than you think, though. I know that you can break this asshole’s hold over you. We both do.” Peter gave Harry a slight nudge, gesturing with his chin to the screen. Harry hesitated just a moment before nodding.

“Uhh, y-yeah,” he said. His voice was somewhat scratchy and strained from stress, but he projected as much as he could in the hopes that it would be able to hear him. “Y-Your friend helped us out before, so we were wondering if...m-maybe you could do that, too?” He coughed a couple of times. “N-No pressure.”

Having made their appeal to the soul, Peter and Harry waited tensely. The spiraling gloves continued to pass by them and overhead...until, just like the knives, they suddenly stopped mid-air and began to shake. A small, genuine smile crept over both their faces.

“ _ Yesss, _ ” Peter whispered. His eyes sparkled with quiet joy. Beside him, he felt Harry sag in relief. 

The shaking gloves were soon transformed into bright green mittens. As the band-aids had before them, the much friendlier-looking mittens slowly floated toward Peter and Harry. The moment that they touched their bodies, all of the previous pain endured from the razor-edged stars disappeared. The deep slices knit themselves back together, leaving pristine and unblemished skin where, ordinarily, angry raised scars would have formed. All the dizziness that had been slowly creeping up on the both of them vanished as well, and Peter gave his head a quick toss to clear it of any residual fuzz.

Harry actually let out a real, lighthearted laugh as the healing energies gently faded from his body. “ _ Thank you,”  _ he breathed, brushing some damp hair back from his forehead and smiling gratefully up at the soul. 

“See? What’d I tell you?” asked Peter, turning to face Harry with a grin. “They’re in there, all of them. They can hear us. We just need to remind them of their  _ own  _ power.” After that, well...who knew what could happen? Peter had a hunch that reaching out to the souls might be their only surefire way of trimming Flowey down to size, once and for all. 

Harry dipped his head in agreement. “You’re right, Pete. M-Maybe if we do, then…” He trailed off, but the hopeful light lingered in his eyes. Peter nodded.

“That’s what I think, too. It’s definitely worth a shot.” Getting back to his feet, Peter offered his hand to Harry. “C’mon, buddy, we can do this. Just gotta keep going.”

Harry accepted Peter’s hand and used it to hoist himself up. His heart was still beating far faster than it should, but there was a sense of calm over top of everything. They had a real game plan, now; a shining beacon of light in the endless darkness. Perhaps, if they could just break the souls free of Flowey’s control, they’d gain the advantage they needed.

A rumbling in the ground alerted them to the return of the beast himself. He came stomping back out of the shadows, a manic, infuriated scream escaping the throat of the head beneath the screen.

This time there was no exchange of snarky words; instead, Flowey immediately summoned yet another hail of the familiar razor stars. These were supplemented by literal, actual bombs, which began to fall from the ‘ceiling’ of the dark space. 

As soon as Peter noticed the large explosives falling directly on top of them, he let his autopilot take over. A quick shoulder-check (which he grunted an apology for) got Harry and himself out of the way just as the first bomb hit the ground and detonated in a dazzling, deadly display of fire and smoke. They were far enough away from the explosion that none of the shrapnel came close enough to hit them, but they could feel the searing wave of heat roll over them. Peter’s pulse jumped in his throat.

_ No time to rest, keep moving, keep moving! _

Peter practically yanked Harry back to his feet and pushed him forward, shouting, “GO, GO!” Harry had just enough presence of mind in the midst of all the chaos to heed his friend’s advice, and he ran. He didn’t know where he was running to, but that small detail didn’t matter just then. He ran as fast as his legs could possibly take him, and he could feel Peter right behind on his heels, and further behind, the sound of a dozen more bombs colliding with the ground.

“Okay, okay, stop!” came Peter’s shout. “Stop, Harry!” Harry dug his heels into the floor as hard as he could, forcing himself to come to a teeth-rattling halt. A firm hand on his shoulder kept him from toppling, and he shot a grateful look back toward Peter. Briefly glancing beyond him, Harry could see that the bombs had all detonated, and no more appeared to be falling. That must have been why Peter had told him to stop; no sense wearing themselves out when they didn’t have to. In this fight, conservation was everything. 

The familiar sound of sirens flooded the air, and immediately the two locked eyes. So far, that sound had only meant one thing. 

Sure enough, another “WARNING” screen appeared atop the creature, now featuring the blue soul. As Flowey backed up to allow this particular soul’s magic some room, Peter and Harry braced themselves for whatever was to come next, planting their feet firmly on the ground and looking expectantly toward the edge of the void. 

_ No matter what it is,  _ Peter told himself,  _ we can get through. Take it one soul at a time. _

As it turned out, the blue soul’s weapon of choice was not something that would ordinarily be recognized as one. Whereas the knives and spike-studded boxing gloves were undeniably dangerous, even when  _ not  _ twenty times their normal size, what came out of the darkness this time were...shoes. Twelve gigantic ballet shoes, poised upon their tip-toes as they danced and leapt toward them with a purpose. The sight was so surprising, even considering the current circumstances, that Peter had to do a double-take.

“Ballet shoes, huh?” he said quickly, taking a couple steps back. “Not what I expected, but you know what, I’ll take it. Better than the knives.”

“Yeah, unless we get stomped on!” Harry yelped. Peter paused, then nodded.

“Yeah, unless we get stomped on,” he conceded. “But that won’t happen.” He tugged Harry out of the way of one of the gracefully pirouetting shoes before it could squash him flat. “Come on, time to wake up our blue friend up there!” 

Peter and Harry raised their eyes to the screen so far above them. Just like the past two, the blue soul hovered, mostly stationary, in the center. It looked as if it were just a fanciful decoration, some kind of morbid screen saver, but they knew it was much more than that. Inside that heart was a person -- a real, once-living human person, and they were being yanked around like a puppet on a string at the service of the world’s cruelest puppeteer. Just the thought of what they must be going through, screaming silently with no one to hear, lost in the throes of Flowey’s control… 

Peter’s fists clenched. 

_ Not anymore. _

Cupping his hands around his mouth, Peter called out to the blue soul. “Hey, you up there! Blue soul! I, uh-  _ whoa! _ ” He executed a tight roll underneath another shoe that had gotten too close, then popped right back up to his feet. “That was a close one, heh, nice shot! But, uh, just a hunch...I don’t think you really wanna be doing this!” He mustered up his most pleading expression. “I mean, I know if I were you, I’d wanna tell ol’ Flowey there to take a hike! How’s about it?”

“We know you can hear us!” Harry called hopefully. “W-Why don’t you take a page from your friends’ books and...m-maybe help us out here?? That would be really cool of you!” 

Harry screamed as yet another shoe came bouncing his way. Luckily, he was able to sidestep in time, just narrowly avoiding getting his foot crushed. “Geez!” He turned his head back to the screen with a pout. “Any time now!” he shouted up to the soul. 

As soon as he’d said it, a regretful look briefly flashed across his face. He nervously wound a small strand of hair around his finger as he continued to stare at the blue heart. Had he pushed too hard? There was a good possibility that the soul wouldn’t appreciate being bossed around, especially when it was already being forced to act outside its will by a hideous amalgamate beast. 

_ Ah, nuts,  _ he thought with a wince.  _ I messed this up, didn’t I? _

But, thankfully for Harry, it seemed that the soul had not been offended. Or, at least, if it had, it wasn’t going to hold it against him. Just moments after his stomach had sank, certain that he’d ruined their plea for help, the ballet shoes stopped their deadly dance. Hanging, weightless, in the air, they began to vibrate at seemingly impossible speeds. Harry let out an audible sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank God,” he murmured. From across the way, Peter grinned and shot him a thumbs-up. Harry managed a wobbly smile and a shaking thumbs-up in return as the shoes exploded into several green musical notes. The notes floated toward the both of them, and Peter took the brief moment of respite to bound back over to Harry.

"It's working!" Peter cheered, slapping his friend on the back. Harry nodded as he brushed some more hair that had fallen onto his forehead out of his eyes. 

“Y-Yeah, I think it is.” His shaky smile stabilized as the rejuvenating force washed over him. He sucked in a slow breath and let it out even slower. “I don’t know w-what we’d do without them.” 

Peter’s eyes darted up to the screen, and he had just enough time to mouth the words “ _ thank you”  _ before it, like the others, disappeared. His heart was still working on overdrive, but any of the lingering fear generated by such a seemingly hopeless situation was gone. They were three for three; just two more, and all of the souls would be freed from Flowey’s control. 

_ In the home stretch,  _ he thought as Flowey’s predictably furious face flickered back to life on his screen.  _ That bastard doesn’t stand a chance. _

“ _ Oooooooh, YOU!”  _ Flowey howled, pointing with a massive forearm. The sharp claws, glinting despite the lack of real light, came within a hair’s breadth of skewering them through the chest. “Don’t think this means  _ anything!” _

“You just keep telling yourself that, Flowey,” Peter said, crossing his arms with the smug air of someone who knew he’d already won. “But I think this would go a whole lot easier if you freed the souls  _ now _ and admitted defeat.” He put on his most innocent eyes and batted them at the beast. “Unless, of course, you like doing it the very humiliating hard way.”

Flowey gave an ungodly roar somewhere between a particularly incensed lion and a velociraptor. 

“Alright,” Peter said with a smirk. “Looks like it’s the hard way.”

They prepared themselves for another slew of razor stars, flies, bombs; anything that Flowey had in his monstrous arsenal. To their bafflement, though, the scowling face atop the spider creature flickered and cut out. Moments later, the yellow soul took its place in the middle of the screen.

“Another one?” Harry panted. “S-So soon?” 

“This is a surprise,” Peter said, raising an eyebrow. “I wonder…?” Then he shrugged. “Hey, all the better for us, I say. Looks like it’s Yellow’s time to shine.” 

They stood side by side as they waited for the appearance of the yellow soul’s conjuration, legs tensed for flight if the need arose. Their hyperfocus on the shadowy place where Flowey had once again retreated made it feel as if time was slowing to a crawl; each second felt like a minute or longer. It seemed like the yellow soul’s weapon was taking an extra long, torturous time to appear.

_ Come on, buddy, come on,  _ Peter willed the soul silently.  _ It’s okay. We can take it. _

As if the soul had heard Peter’s telepathic plea, a large section of the void was once again taken up by another giant object. Peter and Harry’s eyes widened almost comically when they saw that  _ this  _ particular object was a gun. Just...one huge gun, aimed right at them.

“Well, isn’t this familiar,” Peter muttered under his breath. 

“S-Speak for yourself!” Harry whimpered as his legs turned to jelly beneath him. “Not everyone stares down the barrel of a  _ gun  _ every day!”

“Not every day!” Peter exclaimed. “Only, like, three times a week. Maybe five.”

The distinctive sound of a gunshot abruptly ended their brief banter. Fortunately, the size of the bullet being fired was ten times that of a normal bullet, making it quite easy to identify and dodge when it got close enough. The moment it was five feet away, Peter snagged his friend, pressed him close to his side, and launched himself high into the air. Upon touchdown, though, another bullet was fired; then another, then another, and another. The gun fired around ten oversized bullets in total, all of them homing in on Peter and Harry.

“Pshh, come on,” Peter scoffed. “I do this all the time with  _ regular  _ bullets. It’s WAY easier when you can see them coming.”

Another impressive array of Olympic-worthy gymnastic moves later (with a screaming Harry along for the ride), Peter landed directly below the floating gun. A quick flick of his wrist sent a spray of webbing over the muzzle, buying himself and Harry a few precious moments of time.

“Alright, buddy, your turn!” he called up toward the screen. “I dunno if you’ve been seeing everything going on out here from...wherever you’re being kept in that thing, but to get you up to speed: my pal Harry and I are doing our best to find a way to help you guys out. We have a hunch that if all you souls break away from his control, he won’t have very much left to throw at us.” He spread his arms wide, palm-up, and tilted his head expectantly. “So, whaddaya say? Wanna help us take him down?” 

The gun, which had been rapidly rotating above them in an attempt to free itself of the web, jerked to a stop as Peter spoke. When he’d finished, there was a momentary pause, and then it started to shake. Peter and Harry grinned unabashedly.

“ _ Score. _ ”

When the gun finished its transformation, it didn’t look much different; it was still...well, a gun. The webbing, however, was gone from its muzzle, and when it tilted back and fired off five shots in succession, its former ammo was replaced with delicate, long-stemmed flowers. The flowers floated gently down toward the boys, providing the familiar and welcomed sense of comfort and healing. With its work completed, the gun vanished from sight.

“Only one more left,” Harry breathed, turning to Peter with hope painted across his face. “One more, Pete!!”

“I know,” Peter laughed. “We’re so close!”

_ Just one more… _

“ALRIGHT!  _ NO MORE PLAYING AROUND!” _

The seething voice of Flowey cut through their celebration as he stampeded back onto the scene, a spidery bull charging its matadors. With a great and frenzied cry, he bombarded them with another flurry of the much-maligned razor-edged stars. This time, though, there was almost no competition; they had faced these weapons too many times to let themselves be caught off-guard again. With the ease of a trained contortionist, Peter not only avoided every star that came his way, but guided Harry through the bombardment as well. Harry may not have been as flexible as his friend, but with Peter’s help, he was able to avoid the brunt of the attack with only a few nicks in his sweater to show for it. 

Even when several of the buggers boomeranged back around toward them, they were ready: snagging Harry by the waist, Peter leapt into a vertical high jump, allowing the rebounds to completely pass beneath them and embed themselves, once again, in Flowey himself. 

The void was rocked again by the sounds of fury and pain emanating from both mouths of the spider-plant-thing. Despite the possible damage it was doing to their ears, Peter and Harry couldn’t help but smile widely. A sound like that meant good things. It meant they were winning.

Air raid sirens filled the air for the fifth time as the last soul, the green soul, appeared on Flowey’s screen beneath the familiar “WARNING” message. Instantly, they were back on high alert. A buzzing energy crackled across their skin as they locked their eyes on the soul. This was it; this was the last one. If they could just  _ get through _ to this human soul, Flowey would be nearly down for the count. 

_ I hope,  _ Peter amended. He pushed away the tiny wisp of uncertainty that remained floating around in his skull. He couldn’t worry about that. It  _ would  _ work. It had to. There was no other way. 

This time, they didn’t even wait for the manifestations of the green soul to appear before shouting their appeals up to the screen.

“Ayy, green soul!” Peter said jovially, waving to the heart. “So good to finally meet you! We’ve been having a great time talking with you buddies.” He paused. “Well, uh, maybe not talking  _ with;  _ more talking  _ to.  _ Same thing, though, right?”

From the darkness, a huge, wide frying pan popped into existence. It moved back and forth as if controlled by an invisible hand, and from the pan came several flames, sizzling and spitting as they fell sporadically around. 

Peter sighed. He supposed it was far too wishful thinking to nip things in the bud before anything started. 

_ Oh, well. Not that bad. This is the last comically oversized object we have to deal with. _

Aloud, he said, “Oh, you’re a fan of cooking, huh? Hey, me too! My friend Harry and I love to cook! Don’t we, Harry?”

Harry nodded vigorously. “Y-Yeah! We- AHH!” He cut himself off as he dove out of the way of a very close call with a blob of fire. After rolling to a stop, he looked up and panted, “He said we LIKE cooking, not  _ being cooked! _ ”

“I’d have to agree with my buddy, there,” Peter said contritely. “Besides, I know for a fact you don’t actually wanna cook for someone like Flowey. He’s  _ super  _ ungrateful. So, uh, if you wouldn’t mind...how’s about you turn off the stove, huh?” He pressed his hands together pleadingly, hopefully, and kept his eyes on the soul. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, what you’ve  _ gone  _ through, but...but I do wanna help. We both do. But we need your help, first.”

The frying pan, which had been continually shimmying and spouting flames throughout Peter’s mini speech, paused. The boys held their breath. Had they done it? _Had they gotten through to the final soul?_

They had. Like its comrades before it, the green soul’s frying pan shook in place, vibrating like a hummingbird’s wings. As quickly as it started, it stopped, and then eggs so green they could’ve been on the cover of a Dr. Seuss book rained down from on high.

“Eggs,” Peter said with a delighted chuckle, reaching out to touch the ones that fell near enough to him. “I could’ve guessed.”

“I think this is my favorite change,” Harry said with a small smile. “Kind of makes me hungry, too.”

“Harry, as soon as this is all over, you and I are going out to iHOP. All you can eat, my treat.”

Harry laughed; a genuine, full-bodied laugh with a tinge of yearning. Just the thought of something so easy, so simple, so  _ normal  _ as going with his friend to an iHOP and ordering a bottomless breakfast filled his weary heart with hope. Perhaps there really was a point in the future when they’d be able to do something like that again. Maybe even with the friends they had made in the Underground right there with them…

Toriel, sitting between himself and Peter, studying the flimsy menu with her adorable tiny glasses perched on the end of her snout. Papyrus, Sans, and Alphys across from them, the brothers bickering in a good-natured way, the shy doctor happily rambling to Peter on and on about her latest breakthrough. Other monsters in the booths around them, some sitting with humans, some not, and not a single wayward stare aimed at any of them.

In that moment, that was what he wanted more than anything in the world.

“That’s it,” Peter said, pulling Harry out of his dreamy fantasy. The spider-boy was bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet, and a victorious light shone in his eyes. “That’s all the souls. Every last one!”

The ball was in their court now, they knew. Without the aid of the human souls, Flowey only had so many options left. It was time to go on the offensive.

And Peter was prepared to do just that. However, as Flowey came screaming back toward them with murder written across his digital face, his large and cumbersome body suddenly jerked to a stop. A look of confusion flickered briefly across his features before the screen went dark once again. Peter and Harry jolted in surprise.

“W-Wha?” Peter stammered. “What the…”

In Flowey’s place, all five of the human souls -- cyan, orange, blue, yellow, green -- appeared, forming the same circular arrangement as they had at the beginning of the altercation. They then floated  _ off  _ the screen, physically approaching Peter and Harry for the first time. The souls surrounded them, enclosing them within their circle, and began to shower them with all of their unique objects: a bandaid, an egg, a mitten, a music note, a flower. The combined energy of the souls filled every pore. They felt themselves growing stronger. Basking in the colorful glow of each soul, Peter and Harry finally, truly relaxed.

And then, two more colored lights joined the array. A reddish hue and a pinkish hue flickered to life from seemingly nowhere, causing them great confusion. 

_ More souls??  _ Peter wondered, baffled.  _ But how? There were only five humans! How could there be... _

The explanation dawned on them both at the same time, though neither could quite dare to believe it. 

Slowly, their eyes traveled down to their own bodies.

_ No freaking way. _

In the center of each boy’s chest there floated a heart, identical to the others in size and shape, but not color. Peter’s soul shone a bright scarlet, as red as his costume back home, while Harry’s was reminiscent of one of the more vivid tulips in Central Park. 

“Holy  _ shit _ ,” Harry breathed, unable to take his eyes off his soul, physically revealed to him for the first time. Peter made a barely audible sound in acknowledgement and agreement as he stared down at his own.

This was...his soul.  _ His  _ soul. The culmination of his very being, the thing that held all of what he was and had once been. They’d known of the existence of souls since very early on in their journey, and had peripherally understood the significance of the five glowing hearts before them, but seeing  _ their own _ souls right there in front of them...it brought everything into a sharp focus like never before. 

For the first time, the seven souls that had once been sought after to break the Barrier were together in one place: five dead, two alive. They had seen firsthand how powerful the other human souls were; now, with their own souls on display, Peter and Harry realized something very important:

They held just as much power within them as the others did.

The seven souls were together at last. With their combined power...with their joint determination...they would end Flowey’s reign of tower, once and for all.

“Thank you,” Peter whispered to the souls. “We won’t let you down.” 

The souls seemed to glow just a bit brighter in response. Then, with their role finished, they floated off to the sidelines and hovered there, as if waiting patiently to see what Peter and Harry would do.

Peter and Harry shared a look. It was clear by their faces that they each knew what had to come next. 

“You ready?” Harry asked quietly. 

Peter rolled his neck and cracked his knuckles, fixing the still-stationary spider beast with a hard glare. 

“Oh, yeah.”

Peter got down in the starting position one might take before a race. He waited, staring down this monster, this  _ thing  _ that had tried to take everything from them and then some. He waited until Flowey’s bewildered face appeared back on the screen, looking far more strained than they had ever seen him.

“Wh...what was that?” he demanded. They detected a barely audible waver in his shrill voice. “What happened?? Wh-Why do I feel like this?!” He stumbled back a few steps, bloodshot eyes frantically darting around. “Where are my souls?!”

That was the cue Peter had been waiting for. In a flash, he pushed himself off the ground like a spring-loaded rabbit and launched himself directly at the screen. 

_ This is it, _ he thought, his mind awash in a sea of calm.  _ He’s on his last legs, now, One good kick should do it. _

And one good kick it was; before Flowey could even try and reach up with an arm or a vine to stop him, Peter’s sneakered foot connected solidly with the glass screen of his face. The resulting  _ crack _ was so loud that Harry had to cover his ears, though his eyes never left his friend as Peter used the rebound to push himself back out of harm’s way. He landed beside Harry in a crouched position, quickly jumping back to his feet to take stock of the damage he’d done.

“Come on,” he gasped, the drumbeat of his heart pounding in his ears. “Come on. That has to be it. It has to be.” 

It certainly seemed as though it was to the both of them. Flowey staggered back on his massive, malformed legs, reaching up with the front two to claw at a foe that was no longer there. They could hear his ragged breathing, filled with short panicky gasps, as he screamed, 

"No...NO!!! This CAN'T be  _ happening!”  _

“Oh, but it is!” Peter called triumphantly. “It’s over, Flowey! We made a promise when we first met you, that we’d never let you succeed in your terrible plan! Well…” He tossed his hair and grinned. “Looks like we finally made good on it, huh?”

Flowey’s body trembled in rage as he glared hatefully down at the two human boys. “AGHHH! You...YOU... _ YOU..." _

All of a sudden, Flowey grinned. Every trace of distress vanished, along with the wounds that had been inflicted on him throughout the entire scuffle. His weariness was replaced with light, airy movements as he tilted both of his heads. "You  _ IDIOTS. _ " 

Peter and Harry’s confident smiles melted in a fraction of the time it took for them to die.

They barely felt a thing, it was so quick. Flowey slammed them with everything he had, barrage after barrage of razor stars, bombs, vines, lasers. Each time they were killed, their bodies reduced to nothing but bloody pulp or smoking ash, he reloaded his own personal Save just so that he could do it all again.

Flowey soon grew bored of such quick, painless deaths. Just as Peter and Harry reappeared from their most recent demise, woozy and unsteady, he abandoned his original method and moved on to something more interesting: vines, thick and thorny, erupted from the ground beside them and twisted themselves around both their legs. Peter, still incredibly disoriented from literally  _ dying  _ near a hundred times, had no chance to even act on his spider sense as it screamed its head off in his skull.

“EaaGHHHH!” 

They howled agonizingly as the thorns dug deep, penetrating their clothing and piercing skin. Peter’s hands flew down on instinct to try and tug the vines away, but the more he pulled, the tighter they cinched. He sucked air harshly through his teeth. “Aghh! _ Shit!” _

He managed to glance to the side and saw Harry writhing in place, tears streaming down his face in rivulets from the sheer, blinding pain. “ _ Harry!” _ Peter wailed desperately. “ _ No! Shit…!”  _ He strained to reach across to his friend, hoping to do something,  _ anything  _ to stop the pain he was feeling, but Peter’s own pain, combined with his physical deterioration, was too great. With a cry, he toppled to the ground, where another, larger vine snaked its way over his chest and bound him there. 

A second large vine was quick to pull Harry down beside him, ensuring both boys were lashed tightly to the floor. Flowey’s gargantuan form ambled slowly, purposefully over as they writhed under the vines. He stood above them with that awful, awful grin on his face, and with a click of his tongue, a familiar ring of white pellets encircled his two captives on the ground.

"Hee hee hee," he chuckled. "Did you REALLY think...you could defeat  _ ME?!” _

Peter and Harry could only groan in response.

“ I am the GOD of this world. And YOU? You're  _ HOPELESS, _ " he sneered. "Hopeless and alone...golly, that's right!” He giggled like a demented school girl. “Your WORTHLESS friends...can't save you now." The grin slipped into a smirk, one that conveyed nothing but contempt. "Call for help. I dare you. Cry into the darkness!  _ 'Mommy! Daddy! Somebody help!'  _ See what good it does you!!" The last sentence dipped low in a taunting growl.

All Peter knew was pain. Fire and pain, in his legs, in his chest, in his arms, in his head. A cloud of delirious agony had settled over his brain so that all he could think of was how terrible he felt. He vaguely knew that his best friend was suffering identically beside him, but he couldn’t muster the strength to even say his name. He was dipping in and out of consciousness even as Flowey gloated overhead.

And yet...three tiny words managed to slip through the filter surrounding his mind.

_ Call for help. _

They rang in his ears and circled around and around in his head, bouncing off the walls of his skull and echoing louder and louder.

_ Call for help. Call for help. Call for help. _

Someone...someone had helped them, hadn’t they? Before they’d died...someone had helped. Several someones… He couldn’t remember their names, if they even had any, or what they looked like, but he remembered the sensation they’d given to them: warmth. Comfort. Relief. If they were still around there, somewhere, then perhaps they would come to their aid again.

With all of what little senses he still possessed, Peter croaked a weak plea.

“Help…”

He coughed roughly, his whole body wracked by the force of it. He could feel blood dribbling from his mouth. If he’d had enough energy to form coherent thoughts, he would have recognized that it was likely a sign that something important had been punctured. As it was, he could only barely continue what he’d started. 

“H-Help...pl..ease…”

From his right side, he heard another pained voice shakily call out.

“Help...please, h-help…”

_ Harry… _

The name surfaced at the top of his brain, and he gasped slightly, despite the pain the action caused him.  _ Harry.  _ His friend. His best friend. He couldn’t believe he’d nearly forgotten his name. Even through such physical and mental torture, Peter could never forget his best friend. 

Hearing his voice awakened something in Peter. Harry was still there, still  _ alive.  _ If he was still alive, and Peter was still alive, though barely, then maybe they still had a chance. They just had to get  _ help... _

“Help,” Peter repeated, ignoring the pressure on his lungs. “Someone... _ h-help! _ ”

With this final exclamation, Peter felt himself go limp. His breathing was shallow as he waited. What he was waiting for, he didn’t quite know yet. Waiting for help? Waiting for death? Waiting to wake up from what felt like the worst dream he’d ever had?

Things were quiet for a while. All that could be heard were the labored breaths of the humans on the ground, ensnared in vines and damaged almost beyond repair. When what felt like centuries had finally passed, the beast above them cracked another cruel grin.

"But  _ nobody came,”  _ he said in a mockingly sympathetic tone. “Boy! What a shame! Nobody else...is gonna get to see you  _ DIE!!! _ " 

Flowey laughed his horrible, ground-shaking laugh. Peter and Harry, convinced that this time it truly was the end, allowed their weary eyes to close. Perhaps he would finally let them go this time around, if he was satisfied enough with the way they perished. It was all they had left to hope for.

But this was not to be. 

As the circle of pellets closed in, growing ever closer at an infuriatingly slow pace, every single one suddenly disappeared. The vines holding down Peter and Harry blinked out of existence, along with the grave wounds that they had caused to their bodies. The painful sensations that had overtaken them didn’t completely go away, but they did start to fade. They faded just enough, in fact, that the constant and ever-shifting cloud of delirium around their brains was finally lifted.

Peter sucked in a shaky breath with his bruised (but no longer ruined) lungs, and his eyes opened wide in shock. 

_ Wh-what’s...happening? _

Judging from the lingering aches throughout the entirety of his being, Peter was pretty certain that he wasn’t actually dead yet. Slowly, very slowly, he moved his arm. Nothing hindered its movement; the cruel appendages that had been holding him in place were inexplicably gone. His brows furrowed.

_ Why did he stop?  _

He raised his eyes upward. He could see Flowey still towering above them, but the digitized face was different now. Once, it had been smug, cruel, self-assured. Now, it was...strained. His grin remained, plastered on the screen, but it was frozen in a way that told Peter that it was no longer genuine. The boy’s heart skipped a beat.

_ No. No way. Could it be that…? _

He didn’t dare finish that thought lest it jinx their sudden, unbelievable stroke of luck. 

Flowey’s form shifted. His eyes flicked down to the boys, and the sight of his playthings completely unrestrained was enough to snap him out of his stupor. "W-What?" he murmured, voice quavering just slightly. "How'd you…?" He shook both heads, which was a very peculiar sight from Peter and Harry’s vantage point. After a moment, the monstrous lower face let out an animalistic snort of dismissal. "Well, no matter. I'll just..." 

His screen flashed to static momentarily as he tried to recall his most recent Save, which he’d had no problem doing during the circuit of torture he’d just inflicted on his hapless victims. This time, though, nothing happened. Everything stayed just as it was. 

Peter’s pulse quickened with hope. 

When Flowey’s face reappeared, it was filled with visible panic. 

“What in the...n-no…”

Once again, the screen filled with static. Once again, nothing happened. Over and over it went -- the screen switching rapidly from static, to an increasingly terrified Flowey, and back again, dozens upon dozens of times. Harry and Peter watched the whole thing from below, absolutely mystified. Neither knew what was going on, or why, but they knew one thing for certain: it was nothing short of a miracle. 

On his near twentieth time trying to recall his Save, Flowey became hysterical. His massive legs, covered in greenery, began to tremble as he staggered back several steps. "No...no!! Wh... _ Where are my powers?! _ " he shrieked. 

Peter and Harry pushed themselves up to a sitting position with great effort as the five human souls, whom they’d lost track of during the vicious beatdown, floated over their heads and toward the frenzied Flowey. The moment he laid eyes on the advancing souls, he froze entirely. If giant, monstrous plant-spiders could sweat, he would undoubtedly have been soaked.

"The souls...?" he mumbled weakly. He was barely able to force the words from his mouth. "W...What are they doing?!" 

The five glowing hearts, pulsing in time with the ones on Peter and Harry’s chests, began to circle around Flowey. The faster they spun, the brighter they shone, projecting an array of neon colors onto the frightened face of the monster. 

Peter looked over to find Harry looking back at him with an identical, exhilarated grin. Neither spoke, but their eyes communicated all that was needed to say.

_ Thank God we’re alive, I can’t believe this is happening, I can’t WAIT to see him get his pathetic ass kicked. _

It was pretty poetic, really. They had started this fight hoping they’d be able to somehow save the other souls from Flowey’s crushing grip -- the souls of all the other humans that Toriel had once loved, once called her children -- but in the end, it seemed that the souls were the ones saving them. 

Lifting his chin so that he could address Flowey directly, Peter cracked a tired but smug-as-hell smile. "Th-They're giving you a long overdue taste of your own medicine,  _ pal. _ " 

The souls circled faster and faster as Flowey let out a bone-chilling scream. “NO!!! _NO!!!!_" Desperately he swatted at the souls with his clawed hands like pesky gnats, but his blows were about as effective as a child’s. “YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO OBEY ME!!! STOP!!!” He could barely be seen now through the blurred curtain of light created by the whirling souls. “_STOP IT!!!_ _S S S S T O O O O O P!_" 

The fleshy maw of the lower head opened in a soundless scream that echoed the shrieking face on its screen. Its four grotesque, goggly eyes rotated in their sockets like pinballs, the cavernous nostrils flaring in an imitation of a terrified mare. The frightful cacophony reached its peak just as a brilliant, blinding flash exploded outward from within the tightening circle.

Peter and Harry had to once again shield their eyes from the magnitude of the light, but even their best efforts didn’t do much to block it out. The rolling wave of brightness spread outward from the creature, washing over them and continuing on until it completely filled the dark void. Flowey’s howls were soon lost, overtaken by the all-consuming light. 

When it finally cleared, and the two could see past the flitting motes in their vision, the first thing they noticed was the vast  _ emptiness  _ that now surrounded them, just as it had before the flower had shown himself. 

The souls were gone. The spider was gone. All that remained, apart from them, was a battered, wilted Flowey. 

Slowly, they raised their eyes to meet one another’s. The adrenaline that had been coursing through them at an unprecedented rate had finally been exhausted, leaving both boys feeling more drained than they’d felt in a long, long time. But the exhaustion was dulled to a manageable degree just by the virtue of knowing that it was over.

They had won.

Their adversary, their antagonist, the creature that had seemingly had it out for them since the beginning now sat before them, utterly defeated. His petals drooped as drastically as his stem, which was bent so that his round, white face was nearly touching the ground. He hadn’t made a move to acknowledge them since the flash cleared, but they could tell he was waiting for them to do something. 

_ To kill him, probably,  _ Peter thought grimly. But as much as it might have been gratifying to pluck the cruel flower like a weed...it would have gone against everything they’d been fighting for (or,  _ not  _ fighting for) since the Ruins. Another quick exchange of glances with Harry confirmed what Peter already knew: they had already made up their minds.

No matter what he’d done...no matter how badly he’d hurt them…not even Flowey deserved to be killed.

_ It’s not up to us to decide who lives and who dies. All we can do is hope that maybe, somehow, he’ll get the real justice he deserves. _

A sigh, long and filled with too many feelings to count, passed Peter’s lips as he sat back and tilted his head toward what served as the ceiling of the void. He closed his eyes briefly, then looked back across the floor at the dejected Flowey, his mouth settling into a thin line.

“Hey. You.”

Flowey slowly raised his head. His face, usually so bright and smiley, was overcast by dark shadows.

“What?” he mumbled.

“Do you know the way out of this place?” Peter arranged himself so that he was sitting somewhat more comfortably. The aches and pains of the battle still pulsed in every part of his body, but hey, it was something. “We don’t really know how we got here, and I’m pretty sure you had something to do with it, so…” He scratched behind his ear idly. “It’d be great if you could, y’know, drop us back where we were. Or something.”

Flowey’s features contorted briefly, his eyes scrunching up and his mouth squiggling incredulously.

"...What?” he asked again. “What are you...talking about?” Now he grew angry, eyebrows slanting sharply. It was a very strange look for a flower. Not that all of his other manic expressions of the past hadn’t been strange, but this one somehow hit harder  _ because  _ of its raw simplicity. “Stop playing around and  _ kill me _ already. Everyone knows you’ve won.”

Harry and Peter shared a look.

“We’re not going to kill you,” Harry said. 

“...I don’t believe you.” Flowey cast his gaze off into the distance.

Hands settling firmly on his hips, Harry huffed. “Bold of you to assume we’re the same,” he snorted. “Just because  _ your  _ solution to every problem is to hack at it until it's dead doesn’t mean everybody else shares your ideas.” The boy rolled his eyes. “So just get us out of here, will you? If you’re really admitting defeat, the least you can do is put us back in the castle.” 

Harry’s heart twisted at his own mention of the shining golden building. There was still a possibility that they could return there, but for the master of the castle…

_ Asgore’s still gone. _

They may have succeeded in bringing Flowey back down to size, but they could never undo the events that had led to the king of monsters being so cruelly, callously reduced to dust. That thought alone was almost too much to bear, so he shut his eyes tight and forced it from his mind.

Turning back to regard the boys once more, Flowey narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "What are you doing?" he asked bitterly. "What are you trying to play at?” He bared his teeth for a moment. They were much less intimidating now that they were on a smaller scale. “Do you really think I've learned  _ anything _ from this? No." His head lowered once more. “So just get it over with.”

“What part of ‘we’re not murderers’ do you not understand?” Peter asked, folding his arms. It was almost kind of sad, seeing how convinced Flowey was that this could only end in death. He’d wanted it to be theirs, but he seemed fully ready to accept that it would be his instead. 

_ What a strange way to look at the world.  _

"...Sparing me won't change anything," Flowey mumbled when several seconds of silence had lapsed by. "Killing me is the only way to end this."

“No, Flowey,” said Peter coolly. “ _ You  _ think it’s the only way. We’re not like you. We’re  _ nothing  _ like you. I don’t know what happened to you to make you think that things are so black and white, but I gotta say...I kind of pity you.” He shook his head slowly. “Not everything has to end so harshly. I know you were more than ready to see to it that we didn’t leave this place alive, but the reverse just isn’t the case.” Peter shrugged. “For better or for worse.” 

Flowey glared at them. The hatred emanating from his eyes was so palpable it was almost physically uncomfortable. "Fools,” he spat. “If you let me live...I'll come back. I'll kill you." 

Peter and Harry didn’t offer a response this time. They just gazed at him evenly, waiting for it to sink in. What more could they say? 

"I'll kill everyone,” Flowey reiterated when he saw that apparently wasn’t enough.

Silence. 

His face suddenly grew monstrous, eyes obtaining that same insane shine they’d had when he was a gigantic abomination of nature. His mouth was open and grinning wide as he painstakingly annunciated each syllable of his next threat. 

"I'll kill  _ everyone you love. _ " 

They let another silence grow for several seconds before Peter simply replied, “No you won’t. You’ll have to get through us, first. And we all know how that turned out the first time.” He gestured vaguely around the dark space.

Flowey’s manic expression slowly began to change, fading gradually until he just looked... _ confused.  _ Uncomprehending. Broken.

"...Why?” he whispered finally. “Why are you being... _ so nice to me? _ " 

“Someone once told us to be good,” said Harry quietly. “Even when it’s hard.” Peter nodded silently.

The flower before them was a shell of his former self. Any and all of the furious energy he’d carried with him since the very beginning was just...gone. Now, in its place, there was only an achingly hollow emptiness. 

"I...can't understand," he murmured weakly. His thin, fragile form began to tremble as he looked back and forth between the solemn faces of Peter and Harry. Voice hitching, he suddenly cried, "I can't understand!!" 

The boys were done talking. They’d said their piece. Whatever he decided to do now with the things they’d said was up to him.

With a face so desperate it was almost pitiable, the fallen Flowey shook his head and sobbed, "I just  _ can't understand... _ " 

With one final, disoriented look toward the human boys, Flowey fled. He pulled himself back under the black ground and disappeared, his anguished cry lingering as a faint echo in the air.

Peter and Harry looked at one another as they sat in the silence that remained. 

“Well,” Peter said. “He’s gone.”

Harry nodded. “He’s gone,” he agreed. 

Peter cracked a weary smile. 

“Guess we showed him, huh?” he asked with a haggard little chuckle. Harry returned a smile of his own, and he made a sound that could pass as a laugh.

“Yeah,” he said, “I guess so. Felt pretty damn good.”

“Yeah.”

And they would have sat there, relishing further in their undeniably miraculous victory, had a wave of sudden, intense fatigue not suddenly and rapidly overtaken them. As if at the flip of a switch, Peter and Harry’s exhausted bodies decided they’d had enough. Their eyes rolled back in their heads and everything went limp, collapsing to the ground as they finally, mercifully slipped back into the realm of unconsciousness. 

And yet, even as their thoughts faded blissfully into nothing, and their leaded limbs splayed in various directions, the tired smiles -- small though they may have been -- remained comfortably in place.


	61. Calls from the Void

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Harry awaken, once again, in that lonely black void. This time, however, they are near-completely paralyzed, and can only listen as their phone plays a message from their friends Sans and Papyrus. Later, they receive a surprise visit from a little flower with a big proposition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After last week's huge chapter, editing this one was such a breeze xD Undertale Final Act here we coooome!!!

_ Brrrrrng rnng rng. Brrrrng rnng rng.  _

The loud, insistent ringing of their cell phone was what served to rouse Peter and Harry from unconsciousness for the second time. It wouldn’t have been either’s first choice for a wake-up call, especially after such a taxing experience, but it could’ve been worse. All in all, it was at least somewhat nicer to wake up to than the dead silence of an unending void.

Peter’s first instinct upon pushing the last remnants of grogginess away was to reach into his pocket and answer the call. This, troublingly, turned out to be far more difficult a task than he had expected when his arm refused to obey his command. Mouth twitching downward, he tried again, and was increasingly disturbed when the action failed for a second time. 

_ O-kaaaay, _ Peter thought.  _ Let’s try this ONE more time. _

But it was no use. No matter how hard he concentrated, Peter could not get his arm to move. Furthermore, when he tried to push himself up from where he was lying flat on his back, he couldn’t do that, either. 

In a sudden, desperate bid to break whatever force was pinning him down, Peter gathered all of his strength to his core and  _ pushed.  _ And…

Nothing.

Drawing in a deep breath and letting it out very slowly, Peter finally accepted the obvious: he was completely immobilized.

“Well, isn’t  _ this  _ a right pickle,” he muttered.

Some soft moaning and groaning beside him let him know that Harry had finally come up from the depths, as well. Shifting his eyes -- the only part of him that appeared capable of motion, besides his mouth -- over as far as they could go, Peter said, “Harry.”

“Whuh...huh?” Harry mumbled. He sounded incredibly groggy. Peter couldn’t blame him; certainly not after what they’d just been put through.

“Harry, I want you to try something,” Peter continued. “Can you move your hands? Or your legs? Anything?”

It took Harry a moment or two to fully awaken, and then to process what Peter had said, and when he had he blinked in confusion.

“Uh...sure, why?”

“I tried just now, and I can’t move at all. Besides, uh, my eyes and my mouth.” That was still quite the relief. Being stuck in such an odious place as this, unable to move physically, was one thing, but being stuck  _ and  _ silent? The terror would be almost unimaginable.

“W-What?! Seriously? H-Hang on...” 

Peter heard Harry begin to grunt and strain beside him. From the increasingly desperate noises, he drew the grim conclusion that his friend was just as frozen as he was.  _ Great. _

“What the  _ hell, _ ” Harry gasped. “What the HELL!! Why can’t we catch a damn break?!” He would have thought that the nightmare would be mostly over now that Flowey had seemingly left the scene --possibly for good -- but, no. Apparently it was just beginning.

“I don’t know,” Peter murmured, eyes drifting back up to the dark ‘ceiling’ above. “I just don’t know, pal.”

The phone had continued to ring incessantly as Peter and Harry had their brief back-and-forth, but in the short period of silence after Peter finished speaking, it finally gave up and went to voicemail. They heard an audible ‘click’ as the recording started.

"Hello? Is anyone there...?"

Their eyes widened a considerable degree at the achingly familiar voice projected from the phone’s speakers. Peter’s pulse quickened.

“Sans,” he breathed. In all of the drama of the past hour (or however long they’d been in that godforsaken void), Peter had almost forgotten what the sound of their stocky skeleton friend’s voice sounded like. Relief flooded his veins just from hearing those four little words. “SANS!”

“SANS!!” Harry shouted, adding his voice to Peter’s. “HEY!”

Of course, it being only a voicemail, Sans couldn’t hear their calls. They’d known this rationally, but it was still incredibly disheartening when, after a moment, he continued, "Well, I'll just leave a message.” He paused. They heard him sigh softly. “So...it's been a while."

Peter and Harry were quickly jolted from their sinking disappointment at this. 

“A...A  _ while _ ?” Peter said faintly. 

“What does that mean?” Harry asked, voice trembling noticeably. “H-How long have we…?” He let the question linger, hovering oppressively over them in the darkness. Neither boy was sure they really wanted the answer. 

After a few seconds, Sans’s message continued. "The queen has returned, and is now ruling over the Underground. She's instituted a new policy: all the humans who fall down here will be treated not as enemies...but as friends.”

“Toriel,” Harry murmured. “Toriel came...back?”

Peter couldn’t help but let out a small, bitter little laugh.  _ Of course.  _ Of course, only when they were trapped in a possibly timeless, possibly inescapable void did the one person they wanted to see more than anything  _ finally  _ leave her self-imposed solitude. 

He didn’t really find it funny; far from it, actually. He and Harry had been aching for the motherly goat woman ever since they’d left the Ruins, and now they couldn’t even be there to see her, to explain everything that had happened, to apologize again for all of the hurt they had caused her. It was just too ironic. Cruelly so. 

“It's probably for the best, anyway,” said Sans with a light chuckle. “The human souls the king gathered...seem to have disappeared. So, uh, that plan ain't happening any time soon.” 

So the souls really were gone. Despite their predicament, Peter and Harry allowed themselves to smile slightly. At the very least, the other humans had escaped. They were no longer trapped in canisters deep below the ground, waiting to be absorbed by one monster or another. They were...free.

“But even though people are heartbroken over the king...and things are looking grim for our freedom...the queen's trying her best not to let us give up hope.” They heard a slight shifting over the phone, and a sizable silence ensured. Eventually he said, “So, uh, hey...if we're not giving up down here...don't give up wherever you are, okay?" 

Peter blew a frustrated breath through his nose.

“We don’t even know where  _ here  _ is,” he grumbled as he tried again, futilely, to move. “Or how to leave.”

Harry swallowed audibly. “Wh-What if...we never get out?” he whispered. Peter couldn’t see his face, but from his voice alone, he could tell his friend was on the verge of tears.

“Hey, hey,” he said in as soothing a voice as he could muster. “Don’t say that. We’ll find a way! It’ll just take a little time. If Flowey could leave, then I’m sure we can, too.”

“But he’s  _ him, _ ” Harry said desperately. “H-He’s some kind of magical flower monster! Who knows how he was able to leave? O-or if he even really did?” He slid his eyes as far to the right as they could go. “He could st-still be here, waiting for…” He gulped again.

Peter was quiet for a moment. In the darker parts of his mind, though he was loath to admit it, he had thought of that, too. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that Flowey, being the one who’d brought them here, would be the only one with passage in and out. And if he truly was gone, then…

_ No. That type of thinking’s gonna get you nowhere. _

“There’s gotta be a way out,” Peter said more firmly. “Come on, Har, it’ll be alright. This paralysis can’t last forever.”

Harry whimpered. “Maybe…” He didn’t sound so sure, though.

"Who knows how long it will take?” Sans mused, once again drawing their attention back to the phone. “But, somehow...we will get out of here." 

"SANS! Who are you talking to???" An incredibly high, shrill voice suddenly blasted through the speakers. A voice that, like that of Sans, was all too familiar to Peter and Harry.

“ _ Papyrus, _ ” Harry said, and Peter could hear the smile in his voice. He, too, had a grin spreading across his face as the taller skeleton intruded onto his brother’s message. Even in this dark, dreary space, it was impossible  _ not  _ to be somewhat cheered by the sound of Papyrus’s signature cadence. 

"Oh, nobody,” Sans said nonchalantly. 

Papyrus didn’t buy it. "WHAT?! NOBODY?!" he barked. A beat passed. Then, excitedly: "Can I talk to them too???" 

They heard Sans chuckle. "Here, knock yourself out."

There was a shuffling noise as the phone presumably changed hands, and then Papyrus paused again. 

"Wait a second...I  _ recognize  _ this number!!!” he exclaimed. The pure joy emanating through the phone washed over them in delightful waves. 

_ God, I miss him,  _ thought Harry. His smile threatened to stretch off his face. Papyrus’s boundless, positive energy was like a drug, replacing all of the jumbled-up dark thoughts in his head with little skeleton songbirds.

“Hey!!! Humans!!! How are you doing?” Papyrus asked eagerly. “I'm doing fine! Well, besides one thing…” He heaved a great and dramatic sigh. ”The queen disbanded the Royal Guard. Since, you know, we don't have to fight humans anymore.”

“Oooh,” Harry murmured sympathetically, despite Papyrus’s inability to hear him. “That’s rough, buddy.”

“Ouch,” Peter agreed. “I mean, it’s good for humanity, but not so much for Papyrus.” 

“Wow!!” Papyrus continued. “I have no idea what to do with my life now. But, that's okay! Because I'm still working hard! Even if it's on nothing at all!” The skeleton’s tone took on a confident ring. “So, don't feel bad! Papyrus is just fine!” He laughed a cheerful laugh that slowly became a bit sheepish. “ _ Undyne _ is the one that's got it bad!” 

Peter and Harry blinked.  _ Undyne?  _ They hadn’t heard anything from her since they’d first entered Hotland. What could have possibly happened in the time between her giving up the chase and now?

“She lost her job...then she lost her house,” Papyrus explained. “It was sad...but we're taking care of her!" 

_ Ooooooh. _

Peter would have flinched if he could have. Of course; with the disbanding of the Royal Guard, Undyne could obviously no longer be its captain. 

“Damn,” Harry said quietly. “That, uh…” He whistled. “Oof.”

“Yeah,” Peter said. “I feel kinda...bad. I mean, I know she tried to kill us and all, but in the end...she let us go, didn’t she? She stopped hunting us.” 

They had never truly gotten to befriend Undyne the way they had hoped to, for a number of reasons. Peter found himself wishing fervently now that they’d made more of an effort to go after her after she’d stormed off, maybe tried to talk to her instead of accepting things as they were. Who knew? If they had, then maybe…

Peter sighed. There was no good in wondering over what could have been. He was at least somewhat comforted by the fact that she was with Papyrus and Sans; he trusted that they would take good care of her. 

"She lives on our couch now. It's like a sleepover every night!” said Papyrus excitedly. “A sleepover there's no escape from.” 

This drew a laugh from both Peter and Harry. As much as they felt bad that Undyne had lost her job, it  _ was  _ kind of hilarious to imagine her grumpily sitting on the floor in her pajamas with Papyrus as they played a round of  _ Trouble.  _

“Oh, we gave her a job, too!” their friend added. “Sans hired her at his illegal hot dog stand. She hates working there! But she makes a mean hot dog.” Now Papyrus trailed off, and the silence was so uncharacteristically long for him that the boys became somewhat unsettled. When he next spoke, his voice was much quieter, and he sounded sad. “Oh, yeah. By the way...she still blames you...for the disappearance of Asgore." 

Twin shocks raced down their spines as a cold sweat broke out over them. Their inability to move even a finger made it all the more uncomfortable as dread, physically and mentally manifested, overtook their bodies.

“U...Us?” Harry whimpered. “W-Why us?! Why would she…?” His voice rose a few octaves. “We didn’t do anything!! I-I mean, yeah, okay, you had to tire him out a bit, b-b-but we never would’ve  _ killed  _ him! It was Flowey!” 

Peter closed his eyes as his friend began to hiccup in distress. Something Flowey had said to them right before their epic clash drifted back into his head:

_ “You really did a number on that old fool. Without you, I NEVER could have gotten past him!” _

His face scrunched up in undiluted dismay. 

_ Ohh, God. _

“No,” he said finally, unable to keep the waver out of his voice. “We didn’t kill him. But if I hadn’t taken so much out of him...Flowey never would have been able to finish him off.” The weight of the knowledge fully hit him the moment the words left his mouth, and he sucked a sharp breath in through his tightly clenched teeth in an effort to stave off a sob.

Harry’s mouth twitched spasmodically as it all finally dawned on him.

“Oh, my God,” he whispered. “It is our f-fault, isn’t it? Pete, it’s our fault.” Hot tears stung his eyes as his breathing sped up noticeably. Peter quietly sighed.

“I...maybe. I don’t know.”

The very real possibility that it was, technically,  _ their  _ fault that Asgore was dead clung to his heart and ate away at it like a parasite. If Undyne was this mad, what would Toriel think? How had she reacted upon receiving the news that her ex-husband, the man she’d once loved and treasured, was dead, seemingly at the hands of her surrogate children? Sure, she had long since left Asgore before they’d fallen down, but still...someone she’d loved enough to marry was gone. Forever.

Peter sucked his lip in between his teeth. Perhaps, if they’d found some other way to get him to calm down besides tiring him out, none of this would have happened. He wouldn’t have been weak enough for that flower to get a good hit in. But...what else could they have done? It had been quite clear that forcing him to stand down, however upsetting it was, was the only way he would stop his relentless attacks. 

So, then, maybe if they hadn’t gone to the castle, things would be different. They’d never have met Asgore, and Flowey would never have gotten the chance to get anywhere close to him. But...they’d  _ had  _ to go to the castle and speak to Asgore in order to have even the slimmest chance of getting home; there had been no other way around it. 

If they’d never fallen down, then, perhaps Asgore would still be alive. If they’d avoided Mt. Ebott the way everyone in the city said they should, and remained in Harry’s penthouse for the weekend. If they’d stayed ignorant of the Underground, and all of the long-forgotten people who lived there. 

Then again, if they’d done that, then they wouldn’t have made all of the wonderful friends they’d met beneath the mountain, and they’d never have known the terrible things that their ancestors had done to the monsters. If they hadn’t fallen down, they wouldn’t have even had a chance to try and make  _ anything  _ right.

_ If, if, if. _

_ If _ s wouldn’t bring Asgore back from the dead.  _ If _ s wouldn’t change anything that had happened over the course of their journey across the Underground. They’d made their choices all along the way, hoping that the things they’d decided were for the best, and now...now, they had to live with the consequences. Both the good ones and the bad ones.

Ultimately, there was no way to know what could have been done to avoid the outcome in the king’s castle. All Peter knew was that they’d done the best they could, and if even their best couldn’t save  _ everyone _ , then they would have to accept it.

_ I’m sorry, Asgore. I wish there was something more we could’ve done. _

The boys had been stuck in the mire of their own guilt for so long (at least, it felt that way) that they were actually somewhat startled when Papyrus spoke again. They’d almost forgotten the message was still going.

“She talks to me a lot...about getting revenge on you,” he said hesitantly, sympathy edging his words. “She has a ludicrous plan...to cross the Barrier and beat you up." 

“That would probably be a lot easier if we were actually on the Surface,” Harry muttered weakly. It was less intended to be a wry joke than a bleak assessment of their own situation, but Peter managed a weak chuckle anyway. 

"To be honest," Papyrus continued, "I think it's impossible.” There was another slight pause. Then, like the changing of the tides, Papyrus’s mood was bright and sunny again. They could hear it clear as day in his voice as he proclaimed, “But I'd like to believe it's not!!! 'Cause I want to go with her! Then I'd get to see you again!” There was the distinct sound of mittened hands clapping gleefully. “It would be great!! Even if I'd have to fight you.”

To Peter and Harry, the idea of having to fight Papyrus again was not a pleasant one. He’d been a pretty formidable opponent, even  _ with  _ his hesitancy and general nonviolent personality. Couple a reluctant Papyrus with the newly-enraged Undyne, and that would be one messy situation to sort out. They would certainly prefer to meet him again under much less volatile circumstances. 

“Well, keep your fingers crossed! And keep in touch...it'll make our plans easier,” Papyrus concluded. “See you soon, humans!! I hope. Bye!" The click as he hung up the phone and ended the message was absurdly, exorbitantly loud; the silence they were returned to moments after was even more so.

A low, defeated sigh left Peter’s lips. Any chance they’d had of answering the phone, of actually speaking  _ with  _ their friends, of being able to try and clear up any of the confusion surrounding this most recent leg of their journey...was gone.

“Dammit,” he mumbled.

A tiny whimper sounded nearby. “Peter?” asked Harry quietly.

“Yeah?”

“...What do we do now?”

That was a question that Peter didn’t have the answer to. What could he possibly say to his friend, after all this? That they were actually going to be stuck there forever? That they’d just have to continue waiting it out, for what could feasibly turn into days and months and years? It almost seemed better to him to say nothing at all, though he knew he couldn’t do that. It would only cause Harry even more distress. So, Peter settled on replying, “I guess we’ll just have to see.”

Once again, the two boys fell into an uneasy silence. It was very possible that that silence would have lasted for the rest of the time they would spend in that cavernous and yet somehow stifling space, slowly drifting back to unconsciousness for the final time, had a certain small flower suddenly popped up from the inky ground beside Peter’s head. His reemergence from below created just enough movement to catch the corner of Peter’s eye, and when the spider-boy registered the hazy outline of none other than Flowey at the edge of his field of vision, he let loose a startled shriek that surprised even himself. Mind going on autopilot, he sat bolt upright before shoving himself backward as hard and as fast as he could. His actions were made in such haste that he hadn’t even realized that the paralytic curse had been lifted until he processed what had just occurred, several seconds after the fact.

“O-Oh my God,” he gasped, his attention briefly switching from Flowey’s reappearance to his own freely-moving body. Peter shakily patted his hands along his chest, stomach, and legs, an unprecedented delight filling up his veins just at the simple movements his fingers made. “Oh my God,” he exclaimed again, chuckling in disbelief. “Harry!! Harry, I can move!”

“W-What?? Really?” Harry had been greatly frightened by Peter’s sudden scream, but rather than pulling himself into a different position, he’d merely felt his body jolt. Then, thinking this had been just a cruel figment of his imagination, he’d continued to lie as he had been, consumed with confusion and dread at what had so badly scared his friend. As soon as Peter spoke up eagerly, Harry realized with yet another jolt that it  _ hadn’t  _ been a phantom movement -- like Peter, he was no longer frozen in place. With a gleeful whoop, Harry sat up and began to stretch, lifting his arms high above his head and making a very raptor-like purr at the feel of it. “Holy shit, I-I can’t believe it!” he laughed, relief emanating from every pore. “What happened?! How come we-”

That’s when Harry noticed Flowey for the first time. The flower was still in the same spot he’d been when Peter had seen him, a bored, slightly annoyed expression on his round little face.

“ _ OH, GOD!! _ ”

With his newly regained mobility, Harry practically tumbled over to where Peter was sitting in his haste to get as far away from their flowery nemesis as possible. It was at this time that Peter, having fully examined himself to make sure that things really were back in working order, remembered why he’d been prompted to move in the first place. His eyes first went wide in shock and fear, but quickly narrowed to suspicious slits. 

“You,” he growled as every reawakened muscle tensed in anticipation. “What do you want? Why are you here? I thought you left for good.”

Flowey regarded Peter and Harry with a lightly bemused expression, though his eyebrows were still slanted downward in distaste. Instead of answering any of Peter’s pointed questions, he replied with one of his own.

“Why...?" 

Peter blinked. He looked at Harry, who met his quizzical eyes with a matching set of his own. Peter turned back to Flowey.

“Why...what?” he asked cautiously. 

"Why did you let me go?” the flower demanded. His tone wasn’t harsh, but desperate. Pleading. “Don't you realize that being nice...just makes you get hurt?" 

Peter and Harry both sighed in agitation.

“Not this again,” Peter muttered. Shaking his head, he said, "Look, I thought we told you before. It was the right thing to do, okay? We don’t operate the same way, you and us. If you kill someone who tried to kill you, well, then…” He waved one hand vaguely. “That just makes another murderer.” Harry dipped his head silently beside Peter. 

This answer didn’t seem to satisfy Flowey. "Look at yourselves," he sneered. "You made all these great friends...but now, you'll probably never see them again. Not to mention how much they've been set back by you. Hurts, doesn't it?" 

The boys winced at his snide remark. He was right; it  _ did  _ hurt. More than Flowey could possibly know. They had set off from Snowdin Town with the goal of shattering the Barrier and freeing monsterkind, and now, thanks to events only somewhat beyond their control, the monsters were essentially back at square one. Peter and Harry were here, trapped in a nameless void, one they had no clue how to get out of. And besides, even if they  _ did  _ find some way out, they didn’t know how they’d even begin to explain everything to their friends once they found them again. They didn’t know how they’d ever muster the courage to face Toriel.

Flowey noticed the flash of pain on their faces and nodded his head knowingly. "If you had just gone through without caring about anyone...you wouldn't have to feel bad now,” he continued. “So I don't get it. If you really did everything the  _ right  _ way...why did things still end up like this?" His stark white face grew pondering. "Why...? Is life really that unfair?..." 

Swallowing the hurt before it could show in his voice, Peter said, “Life is...never fair. It sucks, but what can you do? You just have to...to make the best of it.” He lowered his eyes. “Even when it hurts you.”

A few seconds passed in relative quiet as all three thought to themselves. Then, suddenly, Flowey tilted his head. He gazed at the human boys with curiosity bordering on genuine interest. When they noticed his change of expression, they immediately tensed up.

“What?” Harry asked waveringly. “Wh-Why are you looking at us like that?”

“...Hey,” Flowey began slowly. “What if I told you...I knew some way to get you a  _ better  _ ending?" 

Peter and Harry blinked rapidly.

“What?” Peter asked. “What are you talking about?”

Flowey chuckled lightly. “You know,” the monster said conversationally, “a better outcome. A better future for you and all of your new friends.”

“H-How could you do that?” Harry queried. He placed his hands on his knees to stop them from shaking visibly. “That’s...impossible.”

Another laugh. “Impossible? For humans with such determination? Hah!” he exclaimed. “You’d be surprised.” Flowey looked left, then right, then back at the boys. He hunched his stem forward and lowered his voice, even though there wasn’t another soul around to hear. “Listen. I know I said I destroyed your old Save, but that wasn’t  _ entirely  _ true. I kept just a single copy of it, stored away in case of an emergency. And I’d definitely say THIS is an emergency.”

Peter listened to Flowey speak with unbridled suspicion. “Oh, yeah?” he asked. “So what does that mean for us?”

“Well, if you want...I can send you back.”

Peter and Harry stiffened again, but this time for an entirely different reason. 

_ We could go back. _

There was still a chance to get home. There was still a chance to free the monsters.  _ There was still a chance to make things right. _ Their hearts leapt in joyful bounds around their chests at the thought of seeing their dear friends and the Underground again. After being trapped for so long in the dark, endless void, even the scorching temperatures of Hotland would have been welcomed with open arms.

“You can...do that?”

“Well, sure!” Flowey giggled. “Of course! I can even send you back alllll the way before that old fuzzball exploded into dust. How does that sound?”

A tremor ran through both of their bodies, a tremor so tangible it nearly took their breath away.

“You...you mean…”

“Asgore,” Harry finished. The word was barely audible. 

Flowey nodded cheerfully. “You got it, kid! You could get another round with the king of all monsters. Sounds tempting, huh?” He smirked at them, raising one eyebrow expectantly. “So...whaddaya say?”

The boys were silent for a moment as they each contemplated Flowey’s offer. On the one hand, going back to before this whole nightmare began sounded like a godsend. They would have a second chance to talk to Asgore, to persuade him to listen to their plan. Having already gone through the ordeal once, they would also have quite the advantage in knowing what things to do and say. They could change everything…

But on the other hand, being offered a seemingly perfect solution to their plight by  _ Flowey  _ of all people -- the one monster who’d come the closest to actually destroying them -- was incredibly suspicious. There  _ had  _ to be some ulterior motive there, some hidden reason for trying to help them after spending so long trying to kill them. 

“Why should we believe you?” Peter asked, crossing his arms and knitting his brow. “Give us one good reason.”

“Y-Yeah!” Harry exclaimed, glaring down at the flower. “Wh-Who’s to say you’re not lying? Why would you even wanna help us, after the things you tried to do?” 

Flowey’s only response was to chuckle. “Hey, you said it yourselves: sometimes, you just gotta take what life gives you and make the best of it.” His signature, far-too-innocent smile spread across his face.

Peter looked at Harry, and Harry looked at Peter. Neither trusted Flowey as far as they could throw him, but it seemed that his proposition was the only option they had. Plush, if he truly did as he claimed he would and sent them back to before they met Asgore, then everything that they’d been fighting to achieve wouldn’t all be for naught, after all.

Peter raised a silent question with his eyes, and Harry gave the tiniest nod of confirmation back.

_ Let’s do it. _

Taking a deep breath, Peter looked back to Flowey and did his best to force down the remnant feeling that there was more to this than there seemed. “Okay,” he said, dipping his head. “Do it.”

Flowey grinned and bobbed up and down in excitement.

“Great!! You’re not gonna regret this, kid.” He rolled his head around on his stem. “Now, I can’t drop you off right back at the castle, so you’ll have to wait a bit before you can see Asgore again. In the meantime, why don't you go see Undyne?”

“Undyne?” Peter and Harry asked in unison, slightly surprised. 

“Sure,” Flowey said. “I mean, it couldn’t hurt. It seems like you could have been better friends.” The monster cocked his head with a thoughtful look. “Who knows...maybe  _ she's  _ got the key to your happiness...?"

Peter hummed to himself. It  _ was  _ true that they’d just been lamenting not making more of an effort to become closer with the hard-headed fish woman. As much as he hated to even think it, Flowey had somewhat of a point. Perhaps, if they could befriend Undyne the way they’d befriended Sans, Papyrus, and Alphys, a new path to their goal that had since been hidden would open up for them. 

“Hmm. Yeah,” he said after a moment. “Maybe we will.”

Flowey nodded, seemingly pleased. “Alrighty then! Sit tight, fellas.” He shot them a parting wink, sticking his tongue out playfully. “See you soon." With that, he dipped back below the dark ground and once again disappeared. Peter and Harry were left in the following silence. Not knowing what else to do, they continued to sit there, eventually starting to fidget.

“I swear to God,” Harry said when one full minute had passed, “if he was lying, I’m gonna-”

All of a sudden, an incredibly bright, white light (not unlike the others they had previously experienced while in the void) appeared, growing from the size of a pinprick to filling up the entire void in a mere three seconds. Their reflexes, thankfully, had become so used to having to react to things like this that they were able to quickly cover their eyes before the sensation grew too painful.

As the light continued to grow and expand, they could feel themselves slipping back into the unconscious state. At first they were panicked, and struggled to cling to lucidity, but eventually allowed themselves to gently drift off like they had so many times before. They could only assume that this light, and the ensuing fainting spell, were necessary to be transported back from --  _ wherever  _ this was, back to the Underground. 

_ Please, let this work,  _ was the last thing Peter thought before fully succumbing to unconsciousness.  _ Please. _

The bright light lasted for all of fifteen seconds before it gradually began to shrink back down to its original size. It condensed all the way back to that tiny little pinprick, and then it vanished entirely, leaving not a trace behind. When it disappeared, the great black void was empty.

**Author's Note:**

> Spider-Man/Marvel Characters -(c)- Marvel Entertainment  
Undertale -(c)- Toby Fox


End file.
